Religion
Amy Dillwyn - The Young Christian Lady
The Dillwyn family were Quakers by religion, this meant that Amy and her family believed in god but did not believe in all the rules that the churches had created. This most likely impacted on who Amy would later become, as without the dogma of the church she was free to be individualistic while maintaining her faith.
In her younger years, specifically 20-21, Amy was quite a religious person with no job or marriage to consider her thoughts turned towards her faith. With teaching in a Sunday school Killay, spending her evenings reading religious texts such as Sermons by Manning or Inferno by Dante, or visiting churches for multiple services a day. For an entire year of her life her faith appears to be her touchstone, keeping her grounded mentally and spiritually. Religion appears to fill a gap in Amy’s life, allowing her not to focus on her future and fill the silence in her present time.
New Year, New Amy
In a modern diary people will write out their names and other personal information, in case it is lost, Amy does the same thing while also noting down religious quotes to start the year. To begin with we have the start of one diary from 11th January 1866;
Titlepage of diary of Amy Dillwyn. DC6/1/3. Courtesy of the Richard Burton Archives, Swansea University
Here we are presented with two pieces of religious text one is from Sermons by Manning and the other is Foreign Churches by Faber. Manning talks about the holy transformation everyone goes through when they die, how they become part of God but that there are those who are more holy in the afterlife, possibly from a more religious life. Amy appears to take this on board as is shown between 1866-1867, where, as previously mentioned, she is in church more and she is interacting more with religious texts and thoughts.
Faber writes about the importance of church, not just as a building or a group of people joining together in prayer. A church is a physical embodiment of God, to be in a church is to be with God in Faber’s view. These views seem to impact Amy deeply for the year as she puts them into effect, it cannot be known if she wrote them at the start as some form of resolution or as the year went by she felt struck by these ideas and wrote them onto the title-page to remind her for the rest of the year.
When her diary reaches 1867 it would be expected to be greeted by more large quotes from names forgotten but instead she writes out a single line of text with no known author, which reads.
It is only through research that the origin of the quote becomes clear, it is a line from a hymn called ‘Who are these like stars appearing’. The capitalisation of the word saviour signifies some importance to Amy, maybe she wrote it down as a reminder to herself that she will be saved. Could this need to be saved stem from Amy’s own queer thoughts? Once again did she write this at the start of the year, planning to take these thoughts with her into the next year? Did she find it while reading or in church and feel some connection to this line?
Marking the day
Once again, in a modern diary people would make a note of important days to come, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, public events, etc... Amy notes the days with religious holidays as well as indicating the place she is writing from, as demonstrated from the 28th October to 1st November 1866.
28th October - 1st November 1866. DC6/1/3. Courtesy of the Richard Burton Archives, Swansea Unversity.
In this period Amy notes down three religious holidays, two saint days occurring on the same date and All Saints. On the saints day, 28th October, Amy attends church twice but makes no note of the religious meaning of the day but writes about a sermon she had read that day. The lack of significance to the day could signify that it meant nothing to Amy and she could be simply copying the days from some religious calendar or she might note them to demonstrate to herself the strength of her faith in remembering such a day. On All Saints, 1st November, Amy notes the day with a cross and writes about attending the 8am service, the 11:30am and the evening service, once again she makes no special mention of the day itself but makes note of the performance of the choir. Which loops back to the earlier points, is she simply copying dates or does she consciously write them in?
Sister Amy
Twice between 1866 and 1867 Amy considers her future and believes she will be joining a sisterhood, with each instance revealing to us an insight into the mental state of Amy in her earlier years. Firstly, a sisterhood is defined as.
However, the term sisterhood also has a political nature wherein a group of women bands together with a political agenda. This political side of the definition would fit for the older Amy, whereas the religious meaning fits more for younger Amy.
On 30th January 1866, Amy appears to be creating visions of the future where her brother is married with his own family and the same for her sister, but she does not see such a future for herself. Amy pictures herself joining a sisterhood where she can “give everything to the Lord” (30th January 1866. DC6/1/3), Amy wants to give everything she is to her faith. But it also reveals that she does not see a future for herself, she does not see herself with her own family and children.
On 25th October 1866, Amy is lamenting on the three year anniversary of the death of her fiancé, Llewelyn Tomas. She is thinking of her own future, of where she will be in three years and the sisterhood seems to be the only thought on her mind, her only other melancholic thoughts was that she would be dead. Again Amy does not see family in her future, she does not see herself as a wife and mother. This could, once again, relate to her own queer thoughts and how she appeared to be hiding her own queerness behind her faith or simply embracing a part of her young self.
30th January 1866. DC6/1/3. Courtesy of the Richard Burton Archives, Swansea University.
25th October 1866. DC6/1/3. Courtesy of the Richard Burton Archives, Swansea University.
'Who are these like stars appearing' Spotify link
References
Painting, David., Amy Dillwyn, (Cardiff: The University of Wales Press, 1987). ProQuest Ebook Central - Book Details
'Sisterhood', in The Cambridge Dictionary [online], <SISTERHOOD | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary>
Swansea University, The Richard Burton Archives, DC6/1/3, 1866 - 1867.
By Jace Field