Corona Diaries

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Beth “My daughter cried later that evening as she said she was scared and wasn’t sure what of. Which made me realise that I need to be brave and make sure that both kids reassured. I felt tearful and just overwhelmed by the whole situation. How stupid too, because we are all safe”.

Background Female, aged 25-34, Civil servant, Cardiff, Wales, Married to Howell, Children Jodi [aged 8] and

David [Aged 10].

March Tuesday 17th March 2020

I didn’t sleep well last night; didn’t help I watched the news before going to sleep. Then looked at my phone

and full of Corona News!! So, that resulted in not a good night’s sleep!

I keep kids off today, thinking it’ll be best to keep them off. Plus, government warning if you have a cough to

self-isolate. Saying this I nipped out at 8.30am to get David’s haircut in case were stuck in for months -

clearly not abiding by advice! But I’ve never been so worried going for a haircut, barber had gloves on, and

it was so quiet in there! My phone has never been so busy, social media, WhatsApp with work and family

just checking in!

Had to dash home to work from home, which is hard working from home, with kids and all the distractions.

Made me realise I’ll have to log on early and be more disciplined! Get my hours in early before kids wake

up.

Jodi already stir crazy, but David has the biggest smile, all his Christmases come at once!! David thinks

he’ll have weeks to go on his PS4, which he’ll be mistaken as there’s no way we’ll let him stay on it all day

everyday! Let the battle commence of entertaining kids, getting David off PS4, keeping Jodi busy and trying

to get some work done...this will be interesting few weeks!!

Monday 23rd March 2020

Monday was the big announcement from Boris, “to stay in”! Even though he had been saying this the week before, the tone and manner of the broadcast was so scary and serious. I felt scared for my family and it just made me fearful of what is to come. I rang my mum straight away and who could hear my fear. After a good chat to my mum and reminding me “we are all well at this moment“ and to focus on that. My daughter cried later that evening as she said she was scared and wasn’t sure what of. Which made me realise that I need to be brave and make sure that both kids are reassured. Later that evening, I felt tearful and just feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation. How stupid too, because we are all safe.

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My son woke up the next morning so miserable. He had been thrilled when I kept him and sister home “so happy to be off school Mum, Coronavirus is brilliant” (words of a 9year old!), like all his Christmases at once, but a week later he was just sad. I asked if he was OK and he sobbed. He didn’t know why he was crying. Again, I reassured him, explaining the best I could and explained as an adult I’d never experienced anything like this, not even his grandparents had experienced anything like this. I explained it’s a weird/surreal time for everyone, but we’re together, with a lovely home, garden and we’ll have lots of fun and it’s important to speak to his friends. Staying positive on Tuesday, I arranged a teddy bear picnic for kids with their friends via FaceTime and they all loved it! Lots of teddies were rounded up, nice picnic, socialising with their friends and seeing them via FaceTime = 2 Happy Kids! Surprisingly the picnic lasted an hour and half, with 6 kids chatting and giggling, bouncing on trampoline ‘together’. I loved hearing them improvise, “lets bounce together and see how high we go” all through FaceTime! Everyone happy and enjoying, even adults having entertained, happy kids. My aim through this is to keep my kids reassured, safe and content/happy!

April Wednesday 08th April 2020 Last week started mentally tough, kids were bored, I was bored and reality set in that we are restricted. Trying to keep kids in some sort of routine, helped me get out of my flat/frustrated mood. We all got dressed everyday, washed...I’m saying this, like it’s something ‘unusual’ thing to do. But this ‘lockdown’, has lost any routine. The novelty of a pyjama day has gone!! David wasn’t impressed with me, demanding we get dressed “but we’re not going anywhere”! Jodi was happy to have something to do, so happily wandered upstairs. I even made my husband get dressed, lol! Because I don’t think it’ll will help us stay as normal as possible. Thursday last week (2/4/20) started to feel a bit better. We’re all getting up, getting washed and dressed and having some kind of normal to our day. I was getting up and working for 5 hours each day and making the most of having some special quality time and our lovely home together. Lots of puzzles, board games, crafts and playing cards as a family. Kids thoroughly enjoyed. We’ve had picnics out garden and myself and Howell (my husband) have had a good spring clean...it’s amazing I’ve never been so organised! So, that’s a positive as well as spending quality time. On Sunday (5/4/2020) we had our usual pyjama day, David was thrilled! And this is what we normally do, so it felt like a change, reminded us all of the pre-lockdown of a chilled Sunday. Howell and Jodi cooked a dinner, David played on his PS4 and I did gardening. No news on, just a normal happy Sunday in the household! Thursday 09th April 2020 Just text my best friend to see if she was OK as we seen her yesterday, we stood in the street and she was sat on her doorstep and her kids playing in their front garden and my kids chatting to them from the road. She’s only tested positive for Coronavirus!! I’m shocked, scared and petrified for her! When she told me

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yesterday, she went for a test as she works in the community for NHS and she’d felt achy and lost taste and smell?! I didn’t even know that was a symptom, losing taste?! But she’s tested positive! I was a bit dismissive when she said yesterday, “you don’t think you got it, do you? You’ll be fine! You haven’t had a fever!” How stupid am I!! I hope to god she’s OK! She has beautiful kids, I can’t even think about it! Plus, she’s diabetic! Her son was ill at the beginning of March, really ill and doctors didn’t know what he had, did he have it?! We’ll never know?! Now I’m paranoid about seeing her yesterday, how close did we get!? But we were only in the road and her on and her lovely family in her garden. I hope she’s OK, we’re all OK and just wish this all to be over! Sod the positives of all of this, one of my best friends are part of the numbers quoted on the news and has brought it home, how scary this is and hope to god she’s OK! Sunday 12th April 2020 Easter bunny came to visit us, so kids were happy. They left out milk and a carrot and were thrilled he’d eaten it. They found all their eggs in a flash and we got ready for Ann National and had a lamb dinner as we usually would. But it was a fun Easter, it was different but so much more fun and one we’ll remember! We had ‘The Ann National’ where one of the mums from school ran around the streets in a horses costume, we got dressed up to go on the drive, kids made posters, we put up bunting and had party poppers! An Easter I won’t forget! Ann (the lady dressed as horse) live streamed her run and I could see all the different families from kids school and I didn't realise how much I’ve missed them all. We’re all a huge part of each other's lives, we see each other twice a day, 5 days a week. We chat briefly, kids socialise and then we see each other again. I do miss them all and I bet kids do too. Jodi sat and watched the race on my phone for the hour it lasted, shouted who she seen, with the biggest smile on her face. Jodi’s really missing her busy, social life! As crazy as it sounds a lady running around as a horse, brought community together, it gave us something to. We made Easter bonnets, posters, dressed up, it was a few days of fun. But the best bit was seeing everyone via her live stream, it felt emotional. I would never have thought I’d miss school run and everyone in it, but I have and their a big part of our family life and I want it back! My friend who tested positive, is doing OK, she’s got a headache and a little bit chesty. But so far nothing to worry about. Wednesday 15th April 2020 My Mum keeps saying” it’s like we’re in a sci-fi movie” because everything so different and surreal and she’s right! Everything I’ve known is different, I’m different and I don’t like it. Since when has it been normal to wear a flippin’ face mask to go to Aldi...since Coronavirus!! I would never in a million years believed someone saying to me I’d be shopping with a face mask and gloves on, but that’s my reality now. I pulled up to Aldi ready with my face mask and gloves and felt ridiculous, sat in the car weighing up the embarrassment and mine and my family’s safety! My family’s safety won of course, but I felt ridiculous!! As I sat in the car, I seen 3 or 4 people walking out with masks on, so I thought people are not going to think I’ve lost the plot, others are doing it!

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I actually seen someone I knew and they didn’t have anything mask on, I was so embarrassed, I avoided them! I would never avoid anyone, especially this lady, totally embarrassed and ashamed of my mask and gloves, I skipped an aisle! Only to bump into the person, I was avoiding! Before she seen me I said “hi it’s me, I feel ridiculous, how are you and your family?” She justified my attire “it makes sense it’s so scary, I’ve just taken mine off, it’s too bloody hot! You got to protect yourself and your family” and we continued as we always would! And it was lovely to chat to someone beyond my immediate family and discuss our thoughts of the whole situation and just general everyday chit chat, I miss that! Monday 20th April 2020 My first day back in work today and Howell had work. My alarm was set for 6.45am for me to roll out of bed and log on. I’ve dreaded it since Wednesday last week! Jodi bless her, kept herself busy and didn’t really bother me, just asked “when you’re finished, can you come in the garden with me”. David on the other hand, moaned all morning I was sat on our office chair and he wanted it to be comfortable on his PS4! Howell was in work, so having to deal with David and attempt to work was hard! I don’t like it. I finished at 1pm and fed us all and attempted to do work with kids.... Oh my days, it’s a nightmare! My kids point blank refusing! School have sent lots to do and unless I shout it won’t happen, but I don’t want to shout. On the other hand, I don’t want them falling behind!! Everything is a chore for Dave, even washing and getting dressed! Last week was bliss, sun shining, spending time together in the garden, getting creative. But now, I have to work, Howell has too, plus teachers sending me stuff for both kids. Howell is back full time from Wednesday, which will mean I’m home on my own, which is always fine. But having to work at same time, I really don’t know how I’m going to do and even attempt to teach them. Stressed/dreading it already!

May Thursday 7th May 2020 Last week was tough, leading to me having a bit of a wobble in work! Just too much, Howell’s working full time and I’m home with our kids, which would be lovely, but I had to work! Felt guilty I wasn’t giving 100% to my kids, felt guilty I wasn’t getting enough work done...which led to my wobble! My friend asked if I was OK in a Skype catch up and to my own amazement, I replied “no I don’t think I am”! After that work has been brilliant and now I’m doing reduced hours, thank goodness. I can be more available to kids and attempt doing some work and spend some quality time together. I can’t believe we’ve been locked down for 7weeks, just madness. It’s the new normal?!

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I’ve reflected over these last few weeks and we’ve had fun, we’ve baked, played games, made puzzles, had a movie night, attended virtual quizzes, painted and hid rocks for others, been on daily bike rides, got creative, I’ve even learnt how to crochet and we’ve visited our nearest and dearest from a far. There’s a sense of community, we had Ann National, my bunting is out from tomorrow VE Day celebrations and just generally neighbours are up for a chat and happy to see others humans to communicate with. Which is lovely and I hope that stays. However, its been scary, isolating, frustrating (attempting to home school), anxious time and just sad about how many lives have been lost and sad about not seeing friends and family, not having a cwtch from my Mum, when I needed one. Daily tragic news is just horrendous. Anxiety when we go out if we’ll catch it. How we’ll come out and plan a way out I don’t know?! I’m not a Boris fan at all or his government, but I wouldn’t want to be the ones deciding how we come out of this. Praying we’re over the worst and no second peak! Saturday 10th May 2020 My poor little 8 year sobbed crying “I just want to play with my friends now, this boring and rubbish and not even fair”! It’s so not fair, she’s been so content for 7weeks, playing on her own, FaceTiming her friends, pleading with her brother to play with her and it always ends in them arguing. She just wants to be with other kids, physically playing. I felt so sad, cwtching her and attempting to reassure her, my heart broke. If it was something I could fix or buy I would, but she wants what being a kid involves, playing with others. I know, in the grand schemes of things, with all that’s going on, it’s trivial, but my little girl has had enough and is crying like I’ve never seen before, just to play with her friends. Boris announced how this lockdown will continue and it’s like a never-ending Groundhog Day! It’s lovely to be home and safe, we’ve got super organised, we’re baked and cooked. But it’s getting so hard for the kids now, even David has had enough of PS4, he asked as I tucked him into bed: “when’s the lockdown going to end Mum?”, I replied “I don’t know, I’m sorry Dave, but it will one day and we’ll be back to normal. We’re all happy though and safe. Why? What do you think about lockdown?” David replied, “It’s boring now Mum, I want to go to Porthcawl or just see my friends, not on FaceTime, you know, properly”! 7 weeks is so long in a kid’s life. I just feel sad and helpless really, can’t change what’s going on in the world. Just keep attempting to entertain them. Sunday 11th May 2020 Better day all around today. I was dreading logging back onto work, especially after a long bank holiday weekend, but it was more than fine and fairly productive and lovely to speak to others. Especially colleagues who have children and them basically saying, it’s impossible to work as we do in the office and any work we do is an achievement. So, at 7am and after having that chat, I felt more positive with what was do-able for me.

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I had a rough night sleeping, upset about kids being upset, especially Jodi, she broke her little heart yesterday. So, as soon as she woke up, I took her breakfast in bed and she loved the fuss! David had breakfast in front of the television and loved being waited on. Then after I finished work at 11am, we made a ‘smoothie stall’, with a menu and price list and Jodi was as happy as can be. I felt relieved to see her happy and having the play time she wanted. David was straight in her queue for a smoothie, so they played for a bit and she was chuffed to bits. That’s all she wanted, was some playtime. We had tea and then went for a walk, to my amazement David was so excited to go on his bike and we looked for Pokémon on the Pokémon app. We wondered for an hour and half, up random streets while he was catching Pokémon! Jodi zipped along on her Segway. They were so happy and I was happy, they were being kids, having fun. Instead of bored and stuck in! On that walk, we temporarily forgot about the madness that was going. David piped up “Mum, Coronavirus has made roads quiet and that’s good for the environment and I can ride on the road” and Jodi agreed! Just before we got home, we found a random, ‘homemade’ swing, just rope around a branch with a piece of wood at the bottom. Day to day doesn’t sound like anything exciting, but my kids were so excited and the glee on their faces, I don’t think I’ll ever forget! Because they haven’t been in a park for 8 weeks. I stood and watched them play together and swing and I just thought “we’re OK, my kids are OK” and I felt quite emotional...because we’ve missed things money can’t buy, the everyday stuff, going to the park, playing on a swing, seeing friends and family. All things I’d never think would be taken away from us. Monday 12th May 2020 Another productive, happy day. Kids content until I ask them to do schoolwork! We done a little, not half as much as I should have! We read and David created a superhero for his homework. Howell’s home this week with me, so that makes life happier and easier. Nice for him to hear the moans when ‘schoolwork’ is mentioned! But they did do bits with him, which is lovely to watch. We’ll have some nice bike rides, make the most of our quality time together. Had another lovely walk and we seen friends from school, kids were thrilled and ran together, cartwheels and just so happy to see each other kids. Apparently, it was the best bit of lockdown, to see their friends. Friday 16th May 2020 We’ve been for a nice bike ride today and cycled into town. I don’t know why, but it was eerie, spooky even and sad, nobody was there, in the city centre on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Normally, we would be bopping in out of the crowd with our bikes, but not a soul was there. I said to the kids “this is unbelievable, Mum and Dad have never ever known or seen this and I don’t suppose the city centre has ever been so deserted!” They looked at my baffled and David said “have you not, this is mad!?” , thinking I didn’t want to frighten them, I just replied “no we have never known anything like this, at least we had lots of space to ride our bikes” and they both agreed and did figures 8 in the middle of Queen Street, making the most of the space and freedom! As myself and Howell stood watching them, in the heart of the centre we spoke about how crazy and sad it is. Made me think what’s to come, because I knew this anyway, but to actually experience the empty town

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centre, it’s going to have a catastrophic impact on the economy and in turn, us all! I hardly watch the news now, because it’s so sad the statistics, but I’ve become desensitised to the numbers and it’s all become normal “how many dead today?”, Howell will reply “400 and something!” and we’ll have a daily chat about how awful it is and it’s not easing, then forget about it, until tea time next day. Town today was something else, I expected some banks open or the odd Tesco or Poundland, but nothing! Crazy, sad, scary. Some shops might not even re-open!? What we’ve previously known might not ever be the same again. Tuesday 26th May 2020 Lovely busy fun bank holiday! My sister and my Mum kindly rearranged my shed, I cooked, crocheted and went on a scavenger hunt arranged by one of the mums from school with Howell, David and Jodi. It was fun hunting for clues, although kids argued all the way around, but a normal bank holiday...so much so we forgot about the pandemic we’re living through! We seen other families doing the same as us (from an appropriate social distance). It was so nice to chat and see others. There has been so much more talking to neighbours and community spirit, which I hope stays as one positive we can all take from this. On another note, flippin’ politics, what a joke! Total insult Boris today defending Cummings. I try not to comment beyond my own home about politics, but imagine if that was someone else, god forbid Jeremy Corbyn travelled 260miles!! It’s a joke and it’s made me angry today. We haven’t seen Howell’s family as often as we’d like and millions of others the same. Kids not seeing their grandparents, it’s awful. Friday 29th May 2020 Lush day yesterday in the sun with kids, didn’t do any work with them, so no arguments, just quality playing in garden, water guns, bit of crafts, baking and a film. They loved it, we loved it, lovely family lockdown time. However, I do worry that we’re not doing much educating as others?! Or that our kids will fall behind, but it’s bliss to just be parents and do normal fun stuff, the teaching isn’t and has never been part of our lives pre-lockdown and it’s a never ending battle in our house! I know other parents are saying the same. Today (27th May) lovely day, no schoolwork, nice walk locally, kids on segway and scooter, seen neighbours and their friends...my daughter ran and skipped along with her bestie before I could even stop her! But the excitement on their faces to see each, was so lovely to see. They did socially distance after we told them, but I suppose it was too late?! They had fun and how cruel to say to 8year olds, play but stay 2meters apart and ridiculous to think they’ll understand and adhere to it?! I don’t know, it’s a never-ending saga and no end in sight!

June Wednesday 3rd June 2020 We’re in June 2020 and still in lockdown, I cannot quite believe it?! When all this started in March, I never envisaged it going on for this long, especially not with an end in sight?! Oh my days, will we ever have our old lives back? Just miss seeing friends, parks, school run, seeing other humans and going shopping and not having to dodge anyone! Shopping is a stressful activity! We have a caravan booked in end of July, which we’ve

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always done every summer with our kids. But it might not happen, what a crazy change of events for everyone. We do have some sort of routine, I get up and work at 7am and Howell goes to work for 8am, kids make their own breakfast and do what they want (PS4 and iPad) until 10.30-11ish (depending on my meetings). We get washed and dressed, have lunch and then we do a piece of work (I’d like to say we do lots, but I do about an hour with each child, if we’re lucky). This is manageable and non-negational, they’ll happily stay engaged and do something and then we’re a normal house again. I can take my work hat off and my teaching hat, then I can be Mum, tidy and organise, get tea done and Howell will be home and we can have family time. I feel I’m coping better and doing some work with kids and I certainly don’t want to be arguing with my kids, especially in this already stressful time. We were naughty the other day, I had to go to a shop Monday evening (1st June) and we’ve only been local. I said to Howell why don’t we take kids for a drive, we’re halfway to the beach, even if we don’t get out of the car, just a drive, for a change of scenery. Howell loved the idea, and can you believe I checked google maps to see how far we were going! New guidelines says travel 5miles, we were going 11!! I had to travel 5 to halfway, but we thought after 10 weeks local, we’d chance our luck! We left at 6.30pm so we weren’t going when it was busy (we hoped) but weather has been so lovely. We had a lovely drive, kids got all excited getting in the car. David was DJ and blasting all songs and we were all singing and had an amazing evening walking along the beach. Even had a little paddle in the sea. We played Frisbee, just freedom and fresh air. It was quiet as it was late. Kids ran around and loved it. At one point police walked passed and I nearly died, totally mortified, thinking they were going to ask us why we were here. But they smiled and walked straight passed up. Howell thought I was silly for even thinking it when I mentioned later on, I was nervous when they passed. But I really was. How crazy our world has got, that I’m worried that I am 6 miles from my postcode...this is what coronavirus has done to me!! Thursday 4th June 2020 “Mum, will Dad die of Coronavirus if he gets it because he got pathetic lungs?” asks Jodi, as I was getting her ready for bed! “Dad has asthma, not pathetic lungs! Where did you get that from?!” It did make me giggle at the same time, horrified that’s a thought my 8-year-old is considering her Dad might be at risk. “Dad is fit and healthy and lots and lots people have Coronavirus and are fine after having it”. I haven’t been sleeping brilliant and had a longer day in work because of meetings. Put our routine out too. Jodi sat and happily did some work, David wasn’t so keen, so we had few stomps from him! But we got there in the end. Thursday 11th June 2020 Another week has past, kids as content and has happy as can be. They’ve had McDonalds and to them the world is starting to all feel a bit more normal!

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I’ve been so busy in work, it’s been crazy, doing more hours than I should. Kids bless them, are happy entertaining themselves. But I can’t help feeling guilty I haven’t done enough work with them. Although, we’ve learnt lots this week, we learnt about Florence Nightingale, Elizabeth Fry and Rosa Parks, which led on to me explaining black lives matter and the awful murder of George Floyd. Both kids couldn’t believe what I was telling them, that the world isn’t fair and then they were talking about Coronavirus. It made me realise we’re living in such a sad moment in time on a macro scale, luckily my little microenvironment is safe, healthy and happy. But I felt on edge, explaining to my kids stuff, that I didn’t have answers too and didn’t want to scare them either. I was asked “yeah but why would someone be nasty and hurt someone else if they’re different, if they’re skin is different to someone else?”, “why didn’t the police listen when he said he couldn’t breathe?”, “when is Coronavirus going away?”, “can anyone die from Coronavirus?” As their parent I usually have the answers and reassure them, but these questions, I had to think and pause to balance the reality of our crazy world and explain that it isn’t always fair, people can do horrible things and nobody knows what is going to happen with Coronavirus and who and how it affects people. I don’t want uncertainties for my kids, but unfortunately, today that’s all I had. I had to fill a questionnaire about sending them back to school, I’ve had numerous texts from my friends “what’s your thoughts on sending kids back to school”, “are you sending your kids back?” The answer is probably, rightly or wrongly?! I’m going to see what happens, I’ve ticked yes for both kids. My reason being, they’ve missed other kids, they’ve missed structure and they’ve missed a routine (although we now have our own routine, it’s not an ideal one, with me working until 11am, then getting dressed, lunch then schoolwork). What sold it for me, is that the Welsh government said it’s likely to be different in September, they’ll only be a third of pupils in school, at one time and it’ll give them an idea of what’s to come in September. If they stay off until September that’ll be about 7months with no school, that’s insane, it’s going to have a massive impact on their education, not just my kids, everyone’s. Also, we’ve followed the rules sort of but we’ve been in shops, we’ve seen other families when we’ve been for walks and kids have ran and played and mainly kept their distance but sometimes I’ve seen them getting a bit closer and we remind them 2meters, but too late when they’ve done it. So, I’m thinking I’ve exposed them beyond our home, sort of. But paramount to all of this is keeping them safe and well, so I’ll wait to hear what schools’ plans are and I’ll ‘probably’ send them?! Sunday 14th June 2020 Another week done in lockdown. Had a lovely afternoon at the beach. We shouldn’t of gone, but chanced our luck again and drove 10miles, (so 5miles more than we should). It was lovely, kids loved it, we managed even to buy a drink and ice cream. It was a normal day, everyday things that made the day even more special. Not sure when this is all going to be coming to an end?! Dreading work again, but have a bit of plan of getting up in advance and getting dressed and waking up before turning my laptop on. Really struggled last week. Kids happy, but not keen about going to school. David starting to get nervous touching stuff outside the house. So going to keep a check on that and reassure him. Monday 15th June 2020

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I managed to get up early, get dressed and go for a walk at 6.30am, only for half an hour. I felt so much better for it, than rolling out of bed and logging straight onto my laptop. Another lovely day, work went well, kids were pretty content to do school work. Jodi made progress learning to tell the time, so positive day. I had an email from the kids school with an indication of how it’ll work. Before receiving the email, my train of thought was ‘they’ll go, even for a day, it’ll be good for them, a bit of interaction beyond our home and seeing other kids’. But I read the email and I felt anxious, posters will be placed up as reminders to keep their social distance, markings on the floor, pupils will be ‘encouraged’ to keep 2m distance. It sounds awful and maybe this is our reality, but I don’t want my kids being told off for not following markings or not keeping the right distance. All this for one day a week for 3 weeks. My friends have said there’s no point for 1 day a week, I’m not bothered about that and to be honest. I’m worried they’ll be told off for jo reason and I’m going to miss them home with me, even them bickering! I love having extra time with them, I’m not sure if it will do more harm than good?! Jury’s still out, I will ponder on it and see what Howell’s thoughts are! Monday 22nd June 2020 Didn’t do schoolwork at all last week, how bad is that! But kids just didn’t want to, and I just didn’t have the strength to argue with them. We had a lovely week, just doing what we would normally, prior to becoming a school! Today has been a far better week, it’s Monday and kids happily did some work, so we’ve started on the right foot. To be perfectly honest, I’m officially fed up of restrictions, I just want to meet with my friends and go places, to sit in a pub (I’m not one to go to pubs, but I’m missing the option)! Go for a meal, go to the beach without worrying that we’re beyond our 5miles. It’s so awful that so many people are continually dying and I’m moaning about being able to go to a pub! I never in a million years thought we’d be in June and there is no official end in sight, restrictions have eased but not to our lives pre COVID-19. I don’t even know how many people died, so desensitised by it all. How bad and sad is that. I had an email today about my kids returning to school and to my amazement, David is all excited to return, “I don’t mind even doing work for my teachers, it’ll be good, Mum, when am I going back”? Jodi wasn’t too impressed as she isn’t with her best friend, but content to go to see others. But it’s crazy, they will only have 2 days over the next month. Some of my friends are not sending them, but my feelings are that I’m exposing us to everything and anything going to the shops. People walk towards you, they don’t keep the official 2 metre rule, intentionally or unintentionally. So, for me, I think the risks outweigh what they’ll gain from seeing others by going to school. They’re not even doing work, it’s a ‘check in’, which I think is good. Not mixing with your peers, is bound to have detrimental effects. God help us if this is still the case in September! Saturday 27th June 2020 Another week has passed in work, another week of ‘some’ home schooling, another week and thankfully we’re all still happy, healthy and content. This is never ending and I’m really starting to think will we ever have our old lives back?! Lockdown has eased, but not to pre COVID. Sadly, people are still dying and so many have already died. Everything is just hard work, shopping, going on day trips (I’m paranoid we’ll be

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told off from going beyond our 5miles), home schooling (oh my days, I do what we can, I’m not arguing with kids, but seriously worried how their education will be affected), daily routine is affected. My two kids have two days back in school, but I can’t take them on the yard, they both have slightly different time slots and it’s not even a full day! They’re with other children, but not necessarily with their friendship group, which isn’t a bad thing, because they can get to know others. But their whole worlds changed. I need to dig out their uniforms, not sure if they’ll fit!? I was thinking the other day of my pre COVID routine, getting up, making packed lunches, getting myself and kids ready, a few screams telling them to “hurry up”, breakfast, do my daughters hair, walk kids to school, we chat, kids argue along the way, chat to the mums and dads, walk back and then drive to work...it’s like a distant found memory, like when you remember your holiday! Crazy as it doesn’t seem like any of it will be happening anytime soon, my office won’t be opening, kids school only opening 2days before summer. We are literally living in one of the weirdest times!

July Friday 10th July 2020 We’re nearly mid-July, still in some sort of lockdown and restrictions still in place. Again, the past week we haven’t done any schoolwork, but we’re happy, healthy and content. Kids went to school today for the first time. It was so strange to get up, get dressed, make their packed lunch, get dressed and walk to school. All the way there David asked “why did you sign me up for this Mum?”, “I could of just stayed home until September?”. I told him it would be fun, good to see other kids and if it’s rubbish, he doesn’t have to go next week. Jodi scooted in quietly, she was excited to see her teacher and other kids, but I could sense she was a little nervous. We got to the school and the three of us were checking out the floor markings, following the rules. They were nervous, I was nervous. But then other kids and their parents appeared and then the teachers and it was lovely. The teachers welcomed all the children and made such a fuss. I kissed them, told them I loved them and to have fun and in they went! I walked away and it was weird, I can’t say I was nervous about their safety, I was more nervous they’d enjoy their day. I got home and my house was silent. It hadn’t been this silent in months and I missed them. When I got home and started working, I realised how distracted I am with them home. I got so much done. But I thought about them all day, checking the school app and eagerly went to collect them at 2.30pm. Both kids were so excited, Jodi said “how many sleeps until I got school again?”. They’ve chatted to us about it all evening and I’m so pleased I sent them. Saturday 18th July 2020 It has been a long week in work this week, Friday couldn’t come quick enough! Kids had their final day in school and they were both thrilled to be going. It’s so lovely to have some element of our old routine, even if it is, just a snippet! I’m happy to take that. Walking them to school and even hearing them bicker along the way, made me smile, I miss my old routine/life. I think, as a family, we all miss it. When I got home and it’s just me, it’s so silent, it’s even eerie, we’ve together for over 4 months and it’s been lovely to have them around, but I have no clue how I’ve

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managed to work?! I sat at my laptop for an hour and it’s the most productive I’ve been in 4months!! It made me realise how distracted I have been, (even with my two kids, who have been so well behaved). Even when they’re occupying themselves, I’m always conscious and aware they’re home and listening for them. So, after their two days back, it’s another school year over for them. As their mum, it makes me a little emotional, they’re getting that little bit older and this year, I feel we’ve been robbed of our routine and their education. I know everyone in the UK and (even, around the world) has a experienced the same, having a chunk of our lives paused for COVID-19. We’ve been so lucky, we’ve all stayed healthy and we live in a great community, with access to great walks. If anything, it’s brought our community that little closer, which has been lovely. As a family we’ve appreciated our surroundings more than eve. I’m so grateful our nearest and dearest have all stayed well. And even my crazy, rushed school routine with getting kids to sch ool and getting to work… I miss it! Sunday 19th July 2020 We’ve managed to get away! Kids were thrilled, we have a caravan and hoping for some nice/dry weather, so we can enjoy our change of scenery. We’ve been told that practically all the facilities are closed and there isn’t any entertainment. We are disappointed, but considering the past few past, we’re grateful and excited we’re in a caravan. Fingers crossed we can get out and about! Monday 20th July 2020 To our amazement the fairground was open!! The kids were so excited and so were, me and Howell, we could not believe it! Just to have a normal activity open. There were some changes to what we were previously used too, you had to sanitise your hands before going in and have your temperature checked and before going on a ride you had to wait for it to be cleaned and sanitised. But we didn’t care about waiting that little longer, it was so exciting to have something, that as a family we could enjoy and open. We embraced the changes and were grateful that we could be reassured that it was as hygienic as possible (which pre-COVID I would never ever considered!). Friday 24th July 2020 Masks are becoming mandatory in England, in shops and public transport, but only mandatory on public transport in Wales. What I don’t understand is, if wearing a mask is important for us all, why on earth is it becoming mandatory on 25th July?! We’re 5months into a pandemic and now we’re told of its importance?! Surely, we could of all been told to wear them all along, especially when 100s of people were dying a day. But no, we all been told that 25th July is the day you have to wear one, I don’t get the delay?! If there’s a small chance it could help, they should have implemented it months ago. It’s weird because the thought of wearing a mask for me, it’s not ideal and I think anything on your face you become self-conscious of. However, if there’s a chance it will keep me, my family a little safer and others a little safer, I’m wearing one.

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I wonder what my kids think of it? It’s certainly the new normal, everyone looks different with a mask. My mum bought (the) kids theirs and they were so excited to have colourful ones, so I haven’t questioned what they thought about it. Sunday 26th July 2020 It’s so strange lately, lots of things have eased, shops open, we walked to the town and it felt nearly normal. People in the streets, but queues outside most shops. Pubs and restaurants still not opened. How on earth will some businesses survive, I really don’t know. I start to think “yes, we’re going back to normal”, then I have to queue outside the bank because two people are already in there. Or go to take kids for a walk and the parks are still shut! I don’t even know what the restrictions are anymore. It’s so confusing, not sure any of us do! Monday 27th July 2020 We drove to England for a change of scenery today. I was fully aware that wearing a mask is non- negotiable in England and so I made sure I had our masks, so that as a family we all adhered to the rules. To my amazement in arcades you don’t have to wear one, only in shops and public transport. Loads people in the arcade unmasked. Kids said “do we have to wear a mask?” They we’re looking at me as if I’d made it up. Rules are so confusing. And I wouldn’t want to be the one setting the rules either, because there’s so many complexities and different situations. But I do think they’re all a bit wishy washy! We seen a park and my kids were all excited to see a park opened and children playing in it! Jodi said “oh my gosh! the parks open, can we play in there, please?” She shrieks and runs in! David just walks in by my side and says “what do I do?”, I replied “play?!” He then said “but how? I’ll have to touch things, that everyone else has touched?“ He had such a worried look on his face, my heart felt so sad. My 10year old was questioning playing in a park, just this normal thing, kids have always been able to do forever. I replied “it’s safe, you can play, I promise. Go and be 10, have fun”. David looked for reassurance “so I really can touch it?” I replied “yes of course. it’s safe“. I watched him wondering in and then play, as he always has in a park with his sister. Before this crazy COVID, he would of flew in any park without questioning it. Wednesday 5th August 2020 My brothers’ baby has been born, baby has arrived perfectly but so sad as he wasn’t allowed in, they promised he could come back when his girlfriend was due to deliver the baby. But midwives changed shifts and new midwife said “no, we’re in the middle of a pandemic” and my brother got to meet his daughter via FaceTime and luckily, they were able to be discharged 5hours later. I am gutted he couldn’t be there for the birth. But baby is here safe and both mum and baby are fine. What a time to come into this crazy world we’re living in. People are still dying and we’re still restricted. Really sad my brother couldn’t be at the birth of his baby.

August Saturday 8th August 2020

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Watching the news, which is a rarity for me now and it says 98 deaths and average 56 deaths, this is insane!? Is this ever going to end?! My kids ask me this most weeks and I’m desperate for the answer myself, never mind two kids, trying to make sense of it all. How tragic, on average 56 people are dying, before their time. 56 families devastated. Makes me so sad. It’s the six weeks holidays now and it’s so much better, not having the responsibilities of home schooling (not that I was very successful or did much)! I have managed to get my kids a tutor and I’m so fortunate that we’re in a position to get a tutor. I have been really worried about Jodi, she refused point blank on reading with us, which would always end in an argument (which is the last thing we want). The kids have an hour lesson, oh my days, it’s the best money I’ve ever spent! Their first hour they did more with the tutor, than they did in the whole lockdown with me. Surprisingly they enjoyed it too, “Mum, Miss Roberts teaches us better than you, she doesn’t shout [I only end up shouting because they refuse to do it their work for me] and she’s just better than you!” I am so happy they enjoyed and it’s such a relief. I did however think “Miss Roberts is a ‘trained’ teacher and has experience teaching. Plus, you’re working with her, rather than refusing or negotiating with me! Plus, I have been attempting to work from home, with two kids!!” But why would they care, I’m a rubbish at teaching, I’m only their mum! Tuesday 11th August 2020 Still so many people dying, feeling like one step forward, ten steps back! We slowly having some normality but 102 unnecessary deaths today, is tragic. Saturday 22nd August 2020 We’ve managed to get away, but everything we go to do we have to book in advance and queue, queue, queues everywhere! I’m starting to turn into a moaning mini! It is lovely to have a change of scenery; I need to be grateful for our freedoms and some normality. Monday 24th August 2020 “Mum, if coronavirus didn’t exist life would be way better no masks or hand sanitizer!” I replied, “we’re all healthy and safe, why don’t you like masks or hand sanitizer?” Jodi says “well, some hand sanitizer sticks, it smells like cat pee!!” David says “I’ve got a cut on my finger and it’s really stinging me”, bless him, I’m drumming into to put it on and it’s been stinging him. I’ve said when we go in shops, we unfortunately need to show we’re using hand sanitizer, so I got a plaster and hopefully that will take the sting away. Otherwise he can just wash his hands. Friday 28th August 2020 Watching the kids in the park a man on another bench started chatting about “this crazy world we’re living in” and then continued by saying “I don’t believe it, it doesn’t exist!” I did half giggle and shook my head, without realising, I replied and said “I think it’s real, so many people have died and the whole world have stopped, schools, holidays, businesses, even the Olympics! I think the Olympics even continued during the war?!” I was told “no love, you’re listening to the ‘hype’, it’s all about control, all nonsense”. I said , “I’ll agree to disagree” and wandered over to push my kids on the swings, I could not believe what I just heard and surprisingly to me, I felt annoyed with this stranger’s statement! Saturday 29th August 2020

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Wondering around shops today, Jodi says “mum, you’re MUST follow the arrows!!” I was just wondering around the shop and accidentally went the wrong way. Jodi, my 8year old continued to say “Mum you got to follow arrows, to stop contamination!!” I never in a million years thought my 8year would understand ‘contamination’ and that she would be so socially aware. Because we have continuously talked about the situation but not about ‘contamination’! 31st August 2020 I can’t believe how fast the 6weeks have been and gone and I always feel emotional that my children are getting that bit older. I’ve had an email containing instructions from school about how thing s have changed for my kids and the new procedures that have been put into place. I am slightly anxious about sending them back, more so about the new procedures, how will this affect them. I’ve talked through the information with both kids and David’s main concern was “have I got to wear a mask” and he hasn’t so his reply was “phew, I just got to socially distance? That’s easy!” Jodi’s main concern was “will we allowed outside with our friends? Can I still do cartwheels on the yard?” Jodi was super excited when I told her that “yes you’ll have a dedicated part of the yard with your class and I’m sure you can still do cartwheels!” Jodi was thrilled and so excited to have a section of yard to themselves to do her cartwheels with her friends. How lovely to be 8 and just have to worry whether you’ll be able to do cartwheels with your friends! Now, to bath kids, get organised to get going into some sort of ‘new normality’ and I’m actually looking forward to having a school run to do, daily!