Corona Diaries

Charlene

“…so why should we, an NHS household, go out there and clap when its empty?”

Background Information

Female, Aged 18-24, Events Management Student in Cardiff, White, Single, Heterosexual.

20/04/2020

Maybe I’ll introduce myself to start this off. My names Charlene, I’m 21 (hoping I can celebrate my birthday

out of lockdown), and this is a sort of reflective log/diary of my thoughts and feelings throughout lockdown.

I go out to walk the dog and it’s a beautiful day, perfect clear blue skies and its warm but because of the

wind you aren’t uncomfortable. There are no children playing in front garden’s, no groups of friends waiting

on bus stops to go to town, then I realise 1. how lucky we are to still be allowed out to walk our pets and

exercise and 2. That this is happening, it’s happening where I live, and it’s affected my life more than I

thought it would have when we first heard about it in January.

My mum works on a mental health Coronavirus ward, today I woke up to a text saying my godmother was

sent home from the ward to be tested (she’s also a nurse). Yesterday a family friend, (nurse), got sent

home to be tested. The week before another family friend got tested positive and is going to miss her kid’s

birthday and a few days before that my mum was told not to come to work as she had suspected

symptoms. Luckily, it was just a cold. But how long has she got until she contracts the virus? How long

before my dog can’t be walked because my parents and I can’t go out, will my father and I get it? Who will

shop for my grandparents and vulnerable Aunt?

I’ve always admired the job my mum and her friends do, I could never do it, but from now on I hope

everyone treats the NHS and its staff with the respect they deserve. The clapping every week is great, and

I hope the money Captain Tom is raising does good and the NHS get to see it. But I know as soon as this

passes everyone will forget, they’ll forget what frontline staff did, they’ll go back to abusing, underfunding

and mistreating the NHS. Nothing will have changed.

This month from the 10th – 13th I should have been in Nottingham with my parents watching the Cardiff

Devils win the ELITE League playoffs and celebrating in beer gardens with fans from all over the league.

Instead, my Mum and I made Easter bags, did my Grandparents shopping and waved at them from the

bottom of the drive. Saturday the 18th I should have been wearing a jersey and sat in an ice rink watching

Team GB vs Poland playing, but instead I was doing finance revision and writing letters to my friends and

family.

My first year of university shouldn’t have gone like this, I should be preparing for my exams and going out

to celebrate after. Not clicking submit and then trying to think of what else I can do with my time now my

first year is over. I should be celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday with him, not planning how we can

celebrate over teams. This doesn’t feel like it’s real anymore, this happens in movies directed by Roland

Emmerich starring someone like Bruce Willis or Dwayne Johnson.

23/04/2020

Well, my godmother is positive, we dropped flowers and a card off to the house the night we found out to

cheer her up a bit. In the space of three days, I’ve gone from being quite optimistic to really worn out by it

all, I’m not sure if I’m the only one but I do find I’m going around in a cycle of I’m ok we can get through it to

omg this is our life for the next year or whoever knows how long. The one thing a week I always look

forward to is the quiz with my college friends, every Sunday one of us chooses a theme and hosts the quiz

over video call.

We all do fancy dress and makeup to fit the theme and it just makes me feel a bit more normal.

Lockdown is really getting to our dog Charlie (Welsh for holly). She can’t be in a room without one of us

there, I’m clearly in all day at the table doing my university work and my dad is upstairs in his makeshift

office. She will bark and bark and bark until we go sit with her or acknowledge her, I have no idea how to

handle this because when (speak it into existence) this is all over we’ll both be back in work/uni so how will

she manage? Sometimes I worry one of us will get the virus and my first thought is how will Charlie cope

because none of us will be allowed to leave the house and walk her. I’ve even noticed how she’s gotten

quicker at getting to the door if we have post or a delivery maybe in case its family she misses, she’s a

people watcher and likes to sit at our gate and watch everyone on the street and with no one to watch she

just looks a bit deflated. It’s crazy how this is affecting every member of a family human or otherwise.

28/04/2020

Today is my boyfriend’s birthday, he’s turning 22. I got his main gifts before lockdown luckily, but I can’t

actually give them to him because his family are disinfecting everything that comes into the house, and it’ll

damage the gift. I made one of those explosion surprise boxes filled with pictures of us and little notes, I

couldn’t risk that getting ruined. Instead, I dropped off a bag of chocolates, cards from my family with a little

wooden token that says pocket hugs, just because we can’t have the real thing. It was chucking it down

and we stood either end of his driveway trying to have a conversation, but I just kept coming up blank at

what to say, I haven’t seen him in 5 weeks I was in shock and upset because I just wanted to be with him. I

was coping pretty well with being able to talk to him regularly on messenger but seeing him in person just

made me realise how much I miss being around him and want this all to end. We didn’t get to celebrate 2

years or his birthday and I’m starting to think by the time we’re allowed to see each other again there will be

more to celebrate.

He opened his cards on video call to me because I got him one full of confetti but it’s just not the same. Bad

weather, over a month in lockdown, missing birthdays I just wanted to go to bed and try not to think about

all the other things we will miss.

Happy Birthday Henry x 29/04/2020

Another birthday! Today my Mum and I woke up early to set the house up ready for my dad’s birthday. We

decided because we couldn’t celebrate properly that we would hide his gifts around the house with clues

and turn it into a treasure hunt, so we got up early hid the gifts and the numbered clues as well as 10

Crabbie’s ciders (his favourite) and waited for him to wake up so the fun could begin. I made him a hamper

of pate, crackers, more cider and chocolate which went down well, he finished his treasure hunt and

opened his gifts and then we all sat down and watched some Netflix.

I have to say today I’m feeling a lot happier considering how down I was yesterday, then we called the

grandparents, Aunt and my cousin and all sang happy birthday over video call as my mum made him a

cake yesterday. It was a bit off time and sounded awful but it’s the thought that counts! We’ve ordered an

Indian so we’re currently waiting for that to arrive while I write this.

Like I said, I’m surprised with how good I’m feeling today considering how upset I was yesterday. Clearly

birthday fun together was needed, I just wish I could have done something like this for Henry. I am

questioning how long this will last, will I go back to university in September, or will my classes still be

online? If I do go back in September will there be 2-meter distance between lecture seats or markers set up

along our stairs and hallways to keep students apart? If we have to do that and people are still contracting

the virus what’s the point in going back at all? It only takes one to start it all up again so will we be like this

until there’s a vaccine? I’m tired of doing the same thing every day and messaging friends and family

saying ‘yeah I’m ok just doing revision’ when I can’t focus on work anymore, I don’t have the energy. I want

to do something different, walk somewhere that I haven’t walked every day for the last 5 weeks. I also want

to not feel guilty when I don’t do revision because Jesus Christ there’s a global pandemic and we are all

feeling ways we’ve never felt before, experiencing something we never thought we would ever experience.

Happy Birthday Dad! 30/04/2020

Well April has come and gone, the 5th of May is my first online exam, so I have 6 days left to prepare 2

exam questions and finalise the third one I’ve been working on. I just don’t have the drive anymore to do

this, I need exams to be over so my brain can find something new to work on. I’m thinking of re organising

the attic post exams (wish me luck). Henry’s gotten really stressed and is 100% focused on work so I didn’t

get to speak to him at all yesterday and this will probably carry on until his exams finish. I wrote all of my

friend’s letters and sent some facemasks and little hug tokens, so they had a surprise and something to

make them happy. My three friends got their yesterday and said they weren’t feeling great, and the mail

came midday/afternoon and really cheered them up. It’s the little things that go a long way and can let

people know how much you care about them. I miss seeing them so much, El is in her final year of uni and

I’m in my first, yet I still managed to pester her Monday to Friday on campus.

Well goodbye April, you had some brilliant weather, I raised £250 for Ty Hafan completing 1000 squats with

my friends, two birthdays and 4 themed quizzes’.

Next month I hope to

• Continue working out 3 times a week, perhaps increase it

• Complete my exams with confidence

• Find a new project to focus my time on, perhaps I’ll look for some volunteer opportunities

• Not straighten my hair to give it a break from heat damage

• Write a list of all the things I want to do when this is finally over

03/05/2020

It’s a Sunday which means I’m counting down until my friends, and I have our weekly quiz, this week its

Harry Potter!! I have my robes and tie ready on my wardrobe door, to say I’m excited to get dressed up

would be an understatement. My Nan drove by yesterday and dropped off Easter gifts for me, she stood at

the bottom of our drive and my dad, and I stood on the doorstep, Charlie was so excited. I don’t think I’ve

seen her move that quickly in a while, I can’t wait until everyone can come over and see her. She’s started

trying to approach people on the street or in the field that look like members of my family, someone on our

walk on Friday looked like my aunt and it was a struggle to get her to stop staring and hoping it was her. I

do feel sorry for Charlie, we can’t exactly explain what’s going on to her.

My exams start on Tuesday, 2 days left to prepare for this one. And then my other two exams are the 11th

and 13th so at least they’ll all be over quickly, but what the hell am I supposed to do then? Potentially 4

months of nothing, if university and school open back up in September. I’ve brainstormed some ideas to

keep me occupied like, ordering photos and getting more of my travel scrapbook done, getting new frames

and new photos printed for my room, re organising the attic and going to town with my label maker and

even taking the cats run down and re-building it (he’s an indoor cat). I’m just not sure how I’ll fill my time, if I

start jogging for fun and to fill my days send help.

06/05/2020

I had my first exam yesterday, managing people and organisations. Luckily, it’s the type of exam where you

get 5 questions you can prepare and two of those questions will be in the exam, so I’d already written all of

my answer out for all 5 (somehow, I managed to write 5 pages for each answer, I’m shocked). It went

alright, unfortunately the two questions I didn’t want came up, but I guess I’m just glad I was one of the few

who decided to actually prepare. Now all my attention will be on revision for my next two exams next

Monday and Wednesday. Finance for managers and venue logistics and operations, considering finance

and maths have always terrified me I’m actually more worried about venue logistics and operations. I don’t

feel very prepared considering our lecturer spent most of our two-hour lectures asking everyone where they

went out the night before and speaking about his personal life. Fingers crossed it goes well.

I signed up to the shreddy fitness app and I’ve just started my third week, granted I’ve been going to the

gym consistently since January, but I haven’t changed at all and weight the exact same to the dot. My post

exam time will be spent meal prepping. I’ve also found out my local hub has volunteers pack up food boxes

for low-income families so I’m going to sign up for that with my free time too.

A development with my mother’s Covid-19 ward, they have patients but they’re all looking like they’ll

recover! So, they’ve decided to keep the ward, but all the staff will be moving back to regular mental health

wards now, a huge step forward thank goodness. I know this doesn’t mean we’ll be throwing parties and

hanging out at the beach anytime soon but it’s a small victory and I hope a sign that were going in the right

direction.

08/05/2020

I’m finding it harder and harder to concentrate now its sunny again, there’s so much noise between TV’s,

next door doing DIY children blowing whistles that I have re-read the same sentence for the last twenty

minutes. We had to drop off shopping for my grandparents today, so it was nice to see them briefly, we’ve

even planned to video call tomorrow and have a cheese and wine night.

It’s the Ty Hafan weekly quiz tonight so I’ll be taking part in that as always, it’s become a routine I look

forward to now. I’d love to see if I’m able to get involved somehow with thinking of questions or something,

but I have no idea if they’d be able to do that.

My sleep has gone completely out the window and has been getting worse for a while, I’ve seen a social

media a lot of people are struggling with their sleep and vivid dreams so maybe lockdown is affecting me

more than I realise, or it could be exam stress? All I know is I’m running on 4 hours sleep and oh my

goodness I hope this doesn’t happen the night before my exams.

17/05/2020

It’s been a little while since I wrote in this, I went all in with revision and prep for my exams which ended

May 14th and then I’ve tried not to be on my laptop too much after to give myself a break but hello here I

am! My exams went well, I think, and I hope. Finance I’m happy with but whenever I have to write a report, I

always get worried so I’m just hoping I have passed this year. Since I finished my exams, I’ve carried on

hula hooping every day, I’m now planning on upping how many days a week I work out and I’m making a

small list on things to complete during lockdown. I don’t want to rush them all and be sat with nothing to do.

I have ordered running shoes which I’m still waiting for in the hopes that I can maybe jog a little without it

hurting my knees. Since I wrote last, I held a food and drink quiz for my friends that went down well, we did

a cheese and crackers zoom call with my Nan and Grampy which was nice. I’ve spoken more to my friends

in Canada because I’m up later now, it’s really interesting to hear how their lockdown experiences are so

different to ours. They both work in a ski resort and have been told they’ll be opening up in about 60 days,

so they want staff in before then to help set up social distancing rules etc. They know not many people will

come because their main income is tourists travelling from outside of Canada, but it seems so bizarre that

something like that is opening. I don’t understand why fast-food places and Starbucks drive thrus are open.

How is that an essential journey? Surely all that will do is encourage people to make more trips out.

Today my dad cut the grass while my Mum and I started stripping out the run (we have an indoor cat) so

we want to re-do it all new and snazzy for him as its 10 years old and nothing lasts forever. I’ve got a

Pinterest board and everything! That’s one of the tasks on my lockdown list, I’ll write my list and let you

know when I complete them

Lockdown To Do List

• Make Jasper’s run snazzy

• Organise and sort through the attic

• Improve my fitness and diet

• Re decorate the downstairs toilet

• Try tie dying

• Learn a new skill of some kind? – veg patch and gardening

I’ve already got some boxes for the attic, but we have a LOT of stuff, so I know I’m going to need quite a

few more before I haul myself up there with my label maker and music. No, I have more free time I’m also

going to plan out what colours and décor to get that isn’t expensive to re do the downstairs toilet but I’m in

no rush, the first tasks are the attic and the run so that should keep me occupied for a while. Maybe I’ll be

able to pop a photo in of the finished product. Here’s some photos from my Pinterest that I’m inspired by.

We want loads of levels because Jasper like’s to be high up and follow the sun, we want a flat bed of grass

for him too because he loves to eat it (cats are weird).

Hopefully we can paint it a nice colour too. FINGERS CROSSED!

21/05/2020

My aunt has tested positive for Coronavirus and is currently in hospital. She got rushed in and got tested

only for them to send her home and tell her if it gets work call an ambulance, what’s the point in that? She

is a vulnerable person with disabilities living alone, if she passed out how was she supposed to ring? Now

she’s back there, on oxygen with corona, pneumonia and a leg infection and they’re still discussing sending

her home when she can’t string together a sentence. If someone is vulnerable health wise surely, they

should be trying harder to keep an eye on her? When all of this started, she was the one I was most

worried about, if she got it I was so scared that she’d die so now it’s actually happening I’m not really sure

what to think or feel because I just don’t want to consider how this might end. Honestly, I have never met

anyone with such bad luck, she never gets a break with her health, and she wore a mask and gloves, she

never went out other than to walk the dog in the garden of the flat, she did everything she was supposed to

do and still got it. Mum’s blaming herself because she works on a covid ward even though we hadn’t done

her shopping in three weeks, trying to get across to her that she didn’t pass it on is proving difficult so now

our whole house is just quite tense.

While trying to distract myself I’m planning my meals, working out more and today I tried tie dying for the

first time. It looks cool, I did it to some tote bags that I’m going to stitch on to send to friends. Hopefully, I

can make one for Andrea to use after all of this. Well, at least that’s one thing ticked off my list of lockdown

things to do.

I agree with the news discussions at the moment that football training shouldn’t be going ahead, filming

shouldn’t either. It’s still a gathering of people who have family at home they wouldn’t want to expose this

virus to. I’ve also been thinking about the discussion on Jeremy Vine this morning about the Thursday clap

for our carers. We don’t do it; we haven’t done it since week two. Why should we? My mum still has to go to

work on a covid ward where they’re trying to mess up PPE, she still has to video families and care for sick

patients and the clapping doesn’t make her or her colleagues forget what they’ve seen, change how they

feel or provide for their family. So why should we an NHS household go out there and clap when its empty.

After this everyone will forget what they did and misuse it again.

27/05/2020

Bloody hell I can’t believe how lovely the weather is! I’m trying to make the most out of it by being outside

and doing little outdoor tasks like re potting plants and making more steps towards preparing Jasper’s run

to be re done. I got him a harness for when he can’t go in the run anymore, it’s taken him a few days to get

used to and today he really enjoyed it. We were all sat at the back of the garden, and he was just pottering

about and then came and sat right next to Charlie and spread out which was nice, something normal during

the madness. I got lovely mail yesterday form my friend Liz who moved to Nottingham just before

lockdown, we didn’t get to have goodbye drinks or anything. She sent me a card, letter, and a bracelet that

I’ll pop a little photo of. It was nice to get something and feel like someone is thinking of you. I’ve sent little

letters and gifts to all of my friends and haven’t really heard anything in response to which as I’m sure it

would for anyone can make you feel a bit down. Going to up how much I work out now as something to do

as the last few days I’m sat twiddling my thumbs with no idea what to do because I don’t want to sit in front

of the TV, there’s only so much I can do out the back and I’m definitely not making a start in the attic with

this heat! It’ll be like a sauna.

Everything with Dominic Cummings has recently unfolded and I can’t help but laugh, would you expect

anything less from him and Boris’ government. It’s a joke, I’m so happy to be welsh every day but my god

I’m overjoyed to have Mark Drakeford making better decisions for us and ensuring we aren’t loosening

things too early. I think he will be doing a speech tomorrow or friday and as much as I’d like to see and be

with my family, I don’t think we should be meeting in parks or having people in our gardens yet because

you give people a little and they’re going to take it all and cause a second wave. I really don’t want to be

like this until December, so I’d rather remain in lockdown until September and then have social distancing

in university. And on the topic, I’m really not up for deferring a year or having a whole £9000 year online

with 0 video lectures, that isn’t what I came to university to do.

I’ve made a start by deciding on the plan, colours, and materials to re do the downstairs toilet. It’s just

getting the materials and making a start; I don’t really want to go to B&Q because I really don’t think it’s an

essential journey.

When our toilet broke, or our house tripped out and we had to go get bits to fix it yeah that’s

essential/necessary.

But me wanting to re decorate the downstairs toilet really isn’t a worthy journey. I did my tie dye and then

did some sewing and embroidery on top of them ready to send to my nan, I’ve just ordered more bags and

got some die to keep making more. Maybe I’ll gift them, maybe I’ll end up having an abundance of tie dye

tote bags, or maybe on the off chance someone will want to buy one. Who knows? I haven’t been able to

find any volunteer opportunities local to me that I can do as they all want someone who can drive which is a

bit of a bummer. Andrea has been sent home for the second time which I’m not overjoyed about

considering she was home less that 24hrs and rushed back in, the staff on her ward I have to say weren’t

impressive or reassuring unfortunately considering her condition, but we check in regularly and hope that

she comes out of it alright. Louisa and others, we know have come out alright so just hoping the same for

Andrea especially because of her pre-existing medical conditions.

29/05/2020

Today Mark Drakeford has loosed lockdown rules and we are now allowed to meet people from two

households in parks, I think my grandparents and my cousin want to come and sit at the back of our garden

next week. I can’t help but feel like this is still all too soon, I’m happy to stay how we were until it is definitely

safe. My boyfriend Henry said he will drive down and speak to me on the drive. I’m not sure why he won’t

come out the back garden, we have a side door that goes straight from the front to the back, but he said no.

I finally got weights! None of my friends but Henry lives locally all being 30 minutes or further away so I

unfortunately can’t meet them at 2-meter distance in a park, our Sunday quiz’s will have to do for a while

longer.

Yesterday while shopping in Lidl a woman started an argument with me which was quite a shock. Someone

was paying and two other people had loaded the belt and were stood less than an arm’s length away, I

clearly am not going to get close and start loading until that’s a 2-meter gap and there’s only one person in

front of me paying and leaving. Yet the cashier told me to start loading up and I politely said its ok there’s

quite a few people on already I’m going to wait and practice social distancing. At this a woman started

shouting at me that I’m paranoid, she doesn’t have anything, I need to get a grip and if I’m that worried, I

should cover my face with a mask. Having a mother and family in the NHS I know unless I have Covid

wearing a mask isn’t going to magically stop me from getting it and I’m also not going to waste medical

supplies when they need them more. She continued to have a go at which I said I have a frontline worker in

my household I am staying away from you please respect that and she went on further to say how

disgusting I am, I am risking lives I shouldn’t be allowed out. I haven’t ever felt so uncomfortable, alone and

in shock before. The fact that no one said anything, and the cashier then proceeded to agree with her while

she was paying yet he’s dealing with people every day and not wearing a mask? I honestly don’t

understand people, but I doubt I’ll be returning to my local Lidl now, especially when they aren’t monitoring

numbers coming into their store either not since week one of lockdown has anyone been at the door.

My godmother had a huge clear out and was going to throw them out when she mentioned it and dropped

them off for us, disinfected and 24hrs later I got to use them doing a workout, YAY!! I’ve written back to my

friend Liz in Nottingham and popped some dog treats in there for her sausage dog Arlo (the cutest tin iest

dog). I videoed my college friend El this morning to work out together now she’s finished with university, it

was nice to have a proper catch up. Her and her mum love gardening and growing veg and all things plants

so we chatted about what I could plant to start a small allotment in the back garden. I’ve got some broccoli

and lettuce growing and my nan wrote to me today to say she’s started some chives, rocket and parsley off

for me too. I really want to grow some radishes and potatoes. I’m thinking my new skill to learn in lockdown

is to appreciate and grow things out the back, I only have succulents and prior to this my track record

wasn’t good with everything dying. But it’s nice to watch it grow, I think my lockdown skill is getting some

green fingers going and maybe building a small veg patch for myself to tend to.

Where has May gone? Currently 5 pages of writing is my month of May, so crazy. I wonder what I’d be

doing now if this wasn’t an issue? My friends and boyfriend would have finished their exams, we wanted to

do pub golf. Picnics down the Bay and the castle, driving to Tenby with Henry to go for a walk and spend

the day sitting at the beach. I wanted to have a party for my birthday and invite everyone over and get a

projector to watch films on the wall out the back at night. Henry and I were going to plan and go to

Manchester for Christmas and go to the markets and football (if that sport still runs in December I don’t

know). Oh well, there’s no point in me dwelling on what could have been and what I may have been doing.

I’m thinking of where I want to go one day when I can and how to see my friends safely.

31/05/2020

May is over. In a few hours it’ll be June 1st, one month until my birthday. Lockdown rules have been

relaxed but I feel there will be a second wave before my birthday, it’s just a waiting game. I did my weekly

quiz with my friends, but this week Sian changed it up, she would privately message us songs and we had

to get the others to guess through gargling water! Then we had 20 minutes to make up a dance routine to

Spice Girls Spice up your life. It was a fun mix up from the usual quiz’s and has given me some ideas of

other fun stuff we can do over video together in the future.

As much as today has been a fun day with the games on video and reading in the sun I’ve gotten quite

overwhelmed and teary at the videos of what is going on in America at the moment after the horrific death

of George Floyd. I can’t put into words how I feel about it all but my god the violence I have seen from

police is shocking. People who are supposed to protect and inspire. Be a role model to young children, are

pushing others to the ground violently, hitting them with their cars and seeking out violence whilst

instigating it. All because people of colour and otherwise are standing up and saying black lives matter and

this has to stop. It’s truly unbelievable.

Goodbye May. You saw more hot weather, my garden fill with plants and solar lights, more quiz’s, the end

of my first year of university after I completed my exams and unfortunately death and Dominic Cummings

breaking lockdown rules while facing no repercussions. I hope June is easier, I hope that we won’t see a

second wave, I hope to see my family from 2 meters apart as well as my boyfriends and I hope that I can

see sometime in the future being able to hug him. Until then I’ll keep crafting, making and taking part in

quiz’s and sitting in the sun.

Things I want to do post lockdown

1. A family meal at the Crispy Duck

2. Lay in bed with Henry and watch a film

3. Go to the gym

4. Come Dine with Me with my college friends

5. Take Charlie to the beach

6. Have a party with friends and family

7. Get my nails done

8. Use my lockdown quiz knowledge to take on a proper pub quiz

9. Plan an Air B&B trip to Brecon with all of my friends for summer 2021

Places to travel when travel bans are lifted and it’s safe

1. Banff, Canada

2. Iceland

3. Back to Venice

4. Great Barrier Reef

5. Maldives

6. South of France

7. China – Great wall of china

8. Egypt

9. Africa – see wildlife in a safe way

10. Bali

11. SO much more

04/06/2020

Well hello June, the weather has already taken a 180° turn as we now have gloomy cold rain. It’s quite a

nice change, there’s only so much time you can spend in the sun without getting burnt and maybe even

feeling a little ill. Also, happy for our grass and plants. So far already I’ve gotten to see my nan twice out the

back from a distance, she brought her dog Penny, so she was excited. I saw my Nan and Grampy as they

came down on our last sunny day which was nice as I used to see them almost weekly with my cousin. And

now today that said cousin came down to see us all as well. I’ve also had two visits from Henry, he doesn’t

want to go out our back garden, so he sits in the car, and I sit on the drive, but it’s still better than nothing.

You’d think I’d be better at dealing with distance from him having moved to Canada for a winter season but

there’s no end in sight for this pandemic so who knows how long we won’t be together.

We are doing another family quiz tomorrow; I made a food and drink themed one which I hope goes down

well. And on Sunday I’ve decided to host a game of charades with my friends instead of the usual quiz to

mix it up and do something active we can have a laugh doing. Now that it’s cooler I’m also hoping to head

into the attic tomorrow so I can start on organising the photos and getting them into proper boxes. Should

be nice to reminisce.

Charlie has been pretty cheery so far this month, getting to see people again has definitely brightened her

mood. Although yesterday when the weather changed, she was very grumpy and lazy. It’s so funny

watching animals reflect our emotions and react to change. Bless her. She really enjoyed seeing my cousin

today because she knows he always makes a massive fuss of her. He’s been working throughout

lockdown; he got a second job as he was furloughed, and he isn’t the type of person that can sit and do

nothing, so he needed to keep busy. We’re also pretty sure he had Covid quite early into lockdown as he

lost his sense of smell, was really achy and groggy as well as having a cough. Pretty clear what those lead

to. It’s crazy to think that I know 4 people who’ve had Covid and come out alright, I didn’t think I’d know

even one person never mind 4 and them being so close to family.

I’m planning on going to Bute Park in town on Saturday to attend a socially distanced Black Lives Matter

protest. I’m looking forward to it, why should asking for equality and not to be murdered with no charges to

the police doing it have such a negative reaction? It’s human rights for goodness sake. I’ll definitely be

writing about this experience; I know so many people will think it’s wrong to protest in lockdown, but we

can’t stand up about these 8 months down the line. There needs to be change, it never should have been

this way. 2020 isn’t the year everything goes wrong, maybe it’s the year everything changes. The year

people have had enough of racism and the unlawful murder of black individuals and demand change. 2020

will definitely be one for the history books.

At the end of my April diary, I wrote a list of things I’d plan on doing in May, now I just want a quick moment

to reflect and see what I completed.

• Continue working out 3 times a week, perhaps increase it – I have done a workout 3 times a

week the whole month in May and now this month have upped it to 5 times a week and feel

great for it. Hopefully doing this throughout lockdown will help set healthy habits as I do enjoy

working out a lot. • Complete my exams with confidence – my exams are done! Woohoo!

• Find a new project to focus my time on, perhaps I’ll look for some volunteer opportunities – I

haven’t managed to find any volunteer opportunities unfortunately. The ones I have found

require a car and license which I really don’t have.

• Not straighten my hair to give it a break from heat damage – I look a mess most days, but we

won’t

• dwell on this.

• Write a list of all the things I want to do when this is finally over – and I did do this in my May

diary. I have tie dyed and now got more dye, bags and a top to try doing some tie dye. And like I

said I’ll be popping in the attic to make a start tomorrow

I never mentioned it in May, but my Mum’s Covid ward closed, re opened, closed and has now re opened

again. She is still on the ward, and it sounds like she’s having a lovely time with the patients. They’ve been

potting sunflowers they want to take home if they recover and leave (which is looking likely with more

recoveries than anything), doing quiz’s, reading, exercise and dance activities. It sounds like the staff on

the ward are doing everything they can to make sure those patients no matter how ill are having a good

time.

08/06/2020

On Saturday, the 6th I went to a socially distance peaceful protest for Black Lives Matter in Cardiff. I am still

blown away that we must fight for black lives, that we have to fight for black people not to get shot and

racially abused; absolutely ridiculous. The protest was calm and respectful, everyone kept their distance

and luckily it didn’t rain. At one point a member of Cardiff Council took the mic and attempted to talk about

All Lives Matter, and it just made me feel sick that people are so self- entitled that they not only what to shit

on black lives but also protest to be a dick. Ridiculous. After the protest I just came back and reflected on

what is going on and how members of the black community must feel day to day, and it makes me sick that

this is a fight that has been going on for hundreds of years. Wake up, stop being racist and respect

everyone. We need to learn about black history, we need to learn about proper British history, not through

some rose-tinted glasses that hilariously paint us out to be the good guys when we are colonisers. And we

in Wales need to learn about Welsh history properly, I don’t want to spend four years learning about the

Tudors and American history and not learn about coal miners strikes, welsh language oppression, Celts

and actual Welsh history. Along with the history of people of colour and ethnic minorities in wales,

especially Tiger Bay! We need to learn about this!

Yesterday I finally started on the attic, I hilariously thought 4 boxes were enough to sort out more than one

section; how wrong I was. I only managed to sort out all our photos but now my dad has joined me and has

started building shelves so we can really organise and have structure up there which I’m excited about. I

love organising.

Today is just more chilled out, I did my Shreddy workout with my friend El and then we looked at some

potential student housing IF we have a second year in uni and it’s not all online. But now it’s writing in this

diary and watching tv.

It’s going to be really interesting to see how long we are in lockdown, how long social distancing will affect

events, businesses and education. I am started to feel it’s more and more likely my second year will be fully

online and not a 50/50 split as they had previously mentioned with small groups coming in for some

lectures/seminars and then some being online. I guess it’ll save money as I can stay home but I’m not

happy to fork out £9000 for an online degree when I could have done that a lot cheaper at the open

university with much better online resources. My university have always been very against positing things

to be available online as they don’t want it to affect attendance whereas Cardiff University record every

lecture and upload it so students can look back. That is a brilliant idea is it not?! I can’t write down every

single thing the lecturer says and sometimes I vaguely remember them mentioning an author but haven’t

got it noted anywhere, recording these would be so much more beneficial.

Do you think Christmas will be spent on zoom with family and friends? Celebrating New Year’s Eve inside

messaging family and not knowing if we will get to hug them in 2021? I don’t know who else will read these

and when, if they’ll be pulled out 20 years from now to use to educate and discuss the effects of lockdown

and Covid on people’s lives. But I can tell you as a 21-year-old student it’s scary, it’s scary not knowing how

my education will go, when I’ll hug my grandparents and boyfriend again, what if they pass before we can

see them properly and the last time, I saw them in person wasn’t what I wanted it to be? Will we ever find a

cure/vaccine? I have no idea, I envision Covid being something we can have a vaccine for, but it won’t ever

truly go away we will just be able to withstand it better. Will we be wearing face masks and gloves for years

to come? It’s weird how 12 weeks in I’ve just gotten used to it and I’m not fazed by much that’s going on

now and then I have an odd day of wow wait this is something that is just absolutely mental.

11/06/2020

I’d like to come on here to write one day and have exciting new things to say but nothing changes much

day to day at the moment. The weather is gloomy and drizzly, searching for things to do and trying not to

make the same food again and again. Next door had their roof done over the last few days so that’s been a

lovely wakeup call the last few days. Don’t blame them though, best time to have something like that done.

Yellow elephant promotions are doing loads of quiz’s every week so I’m currently doing their Disney one.

I’ve also made an all-ages family quiz for tomorrow which I will be doing with cousins, Aunts/Uncles and

grandparents. What does Prince Ali have 95 of? I won’t give you the answer straight away, you have to

think! It’s white Persian monkeys! I hope you go and watch Aladdin now.

Henry wants to talk about my birthday a lot now which I just really have 0 interest in. My parents and I go

quite big for birthdays and celebrate for a few days with family meals etc. But the last 4 years I’ve

intentionally been away from home on holiday on the day of my birthday and with all of this now I’m just not

in the mood for it. I’d rather not celebrate and do it properly when I can have my grandparents over for a

meal. But he won’t stop about it even though he told me I wasn’t allowed to give him any of his birthday

gifts because his family are practically soaking everything in bleach. But because I have said I’m not in the

mood for anything this year he’s getting grumpy with me and telling me to stop. This is draining and it puts

a dampener on a lot of things. I just don’t want to celebrate it because it won’t be the same or anything like

that.

15/06/2020

I’ve not got all of my exam grades back and I will find out on July 7th if I have passed the year. I completed

my exams with 72%, 89% and 80% so I’m really happy, especially with finance getting 89%!! Since I last

wrote my friend decided to mix up quiz night and practice tarot card reading on us which was interesting.

I’ve never had any religion or faith or any belief in things like these, but I think with everything going on

people might be more curious about things like this and having faith in something.

The family quiz went well, and my aunt and Uncle are supposed to make and host another one. I have to

make one to host with the grandparents, but I have no idea what to include now! I’m all quizzed out!! I like

my friend’s idea of making it mastermind themed and having general knowledge for everyone but have

each person playing message you in advance and make them a mini quiz on a speciality subject of their

choosing. Maybe I’ll have a go at something like that with my grandparents who knows. The attic has had a

good re do, we now have new shelves and boxing, but we need some more boxes to finish sorting through

everything and I also have to go back up and label everything. Now that the weather is nicer it’s horrific

trying to be up there, it’s like a bloody sauna. I think I’d lose more weight hanging around up there than I do

from workouts.

My Aunt that had Covid got taken back into hospital on Friday as she had a rash type thing going on with

her legs that was spreading and an awful fever. We found out it’s a manifestation of Covid but it’s still

spreading and she’s still feeling really ill. She’s on a ward in the hospital my Mum works in so it makes it

easier for us to drop things off for her. I feel so sorry for her as she really does have the worst luck with her

health, I don’t understand why her. She doesn’t smoke, drink or anything like that yet she is always ill and

in hospital yearly. She rang me sobbing earlier trying to get a hold of my Nan (her Mum) or my Mum (her

sister). I just found out she’s been told she now also has type 1 diabetes which is a whole other load of

things she has to deal with along with chronic pain, medication for trapped nerves and a long list of other

things. She’s so upset. My Dad and I did some research and scientists have actually said that Covid could

trigger diabetes in healthy people, google also says type 1 diabetes can be caused by genes and

environmental factors such as viruses. So, I’m not even surprised now with how low her immune system

has been with Covid and the manifestation. I don’t even know what to say about it all anymore really, I’m

just in shock that this year can get worse and worse, and Andrea’s health can get worse and worse.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-diabetes-trigger-type-one-two-covid-19-

a9564231.html

On a lighter note, we did choose our DIY family secret Santa names as we clearly all have plenty of time to

be making. I got my Grampy which I have been struggling with, but I finally have a few ideas, one of them is

digital so I think I’ll start making the digital one and see how I feel. I’m also trying to find online courses to

make my CV and LinkedIn look better at the moment, but they all seem to be coding related which as an

Events management student doesn’t really apply to me.

18/06/2020

Since Monday not a huge deal has happened. My Mum’s high school friend and her two kids came down

yesterday to see us which was nice as we used to see them quite often. They came at a good time as

yesterday evening a storm came through, thunder, crazy rain and black skies. There are flood warnings for

some parts of Wales which just doesn’t even surprise me with how this year has gone now. Tuesday the

16th we went to the garden centre and got a raised flower bed so we can start planting veg, I’m in it for th e

radishes really. Absolutely love them. I keep joking that somewhere subconsciously were prepping to need

to grow our own food and survive a post-apocalyptic world. Wouldn’t that just be fantastic. If you’re reading

this in the year 2050 and everything has gone to shit, and the apocalypse has happened how’s it going?

What’s the currency? Fighting zombies?

Anyway, back to the current crappy climate. After we got the flower bed, we sorted out going to get chip

shop food and we sat outside my Nan and Grampy’s back garden. It did drizzle but it was a weird sense of

normality which was nice. Nan even made us a lemon drizzle cake which I’ve had to have some self-control

and only have one small slice because there’s no point in me doing all this fitness if I’m blowing it away on

chippy and cake so the rest of the week it’ll be fruit, veg and no bread.

Unfortunately, we can’t have afternoon tea out my Great Nan’s back garden because of this weather but

hopefully we can do it again sometime. Father’s Day is on Sunday so that’s another thing we are

celebrating in lockdown. Mother’s Day, Dad’s Birthday, Henry’s Birthday now Father’s Day and soon to be

my birthday.

We’ve sorted the attic as much as we can before we need another trip to B&Q and I’m really happy with

how it looks as everything is labelled and easy to figure out now, so I’d say that’s a win. I’m going to go up

again soon and just move things about one final time and then wait until Dad goes back up to do more

flooring and shelving so all that has to be done is stick things on shelves which is nice.

Lockdown To Do List

• Make Jasper’s run snazzy

• Organise and sort through the attic

• Improve my fitness and diet

• Re decorate the downstairs toilet

21/06/2020

We celebrated Father’s Day as we usually do minus the visit to my Dad’s Dad. We had breakfast out the

back because it was dry and nice, we watched The Matrix and scratched it off the movie poster followed by

cheese, crackers and salad spread and then I disappeared upstairs for my weekly quiz. I usually pay for my

dad to go out for a meal or get him things like DVDs for Father’s Day, but this year decided to help local

businesses, I ordered a brownie slab and a bag of mixed retro sweets from two different Instagram

businesses that got delivered here and gifted those along with some Crabbies cider. They all went down a

treat and I prefer giving him something local and homemade, so maybe this will be something I bear in

mind even more when gift giving. I tend to be quite cautious with my purchases anyway not wanting to

support fast fashion or unsustainable practices along with the use and testing of animals. Buying local

home-made things just makes all that so much easier. This week’s fancy dress quiz theme was the first

letter of your name! I went as Hubert Farnsworth from Futurama, Sian went as a star, El went as an egg

and Claire hands down had the best costume as she showed up in a red sleeping bag, green cap with DIY

red antenna and was a caterpillar. She looked insane. All in all, a good day.

Mark Drakeford has done another speech easing some lockdown rules, every Monday for the next three

weeks non-essential shops can slowly open. I hope people don’t go as crazy as they did in England. The 5-

mile travel minimum is still in place and there’s discussion of that being changed along with the opening of

hairdressers after this 6 week. I’m not overly bothered by either of these, my family live within 5 miles, as

do most of my friends but I haven’t really seen any of them apart from the BLM protest and El dropped my

birthday gift off yesterday ready for me to have in a few weeks. I’m suspicious of what’s in this big box she

dropped off, I’ll keep you posted. I do understand that the 5 miles must be so hard for people who lie apart

from all their family, live alone or even have new babies entering their family that they have yet to meet.

BUT this is for our safety, we need to abide by these rules so we can get out of this better than other

countries. Henry has already booked in with his hairdressers, he looks like a little baby! His hair is so long

its past his nose now, very cute. I’m struggling with the rules in regard to seeing Henry, he drives down and

sits in his car, I sit in the boot on the drive, and we chat. But I miss giving him a hug and seeing him

properly. I want to stick by the rules not only because I can see what Covid has and is doing to people but

also because the government are fucking saying so, and my Mum is a nurse. I’m sick of seeing people my

Mum works with who have been on a Covid ward and seen what it does ignoring distancing, getting in cars

with mates, days out with family. Why am I going nearly 5 weeks not hugging my boyfriend when these

people who should know more than most are just laughing in the face of the rules? Why should I bother

anymore? It’s ridiculous.

I’ll be getting on public transport tomorrow for the first time since lockdown began, I’m getting a bus to town

which only takes about 15 minutes. I’ll be wearing a mask and plastering myself in sanitiser but it’s to meet

my friend in the huge park in the middle. It’s the same distance for both of us to meet in a middle ground. I

haven’t seen her since Christmas and she’s been up in Aberystwyth this whole time with university and only

just come back, it was also her birthday yesterday (Happy Birthday Kelly!). I’m sure I’ll write about my

public transport and city centre experiences tomorrow; I know the shops are opening up so I’m really

hoping it isn’t crazy busy. We currently shouldn’t be using public transport unless it’s for work or

emergencies. I already feel bad about using the bus, but I think about all the people who actively break the

rules every day and you know what, if I get the bus once I know I’ll stick to the rules properly using gloves,

masks and hand sanitisers better than most because I’m not happy with the risk. I just want to see a friend

when so many others do it for meeting and spending the night at people houses while they’ve been

ignoring the rules from day one. I deserve to see my friend when others see their everyday because they

clearly just don’t give a shit.

On a different note, I’m not signing up for lots of online webinars and courses my university is providing to

help me develop more skills through lockdown. BSL training has reduced their prices to £3 for students so I

plan on doing that as well as looking at Bright Network as they’re offering three-day internships with so

many different businesses. All good experience and all good on my LinkedIn to help me stand out and

demonstrate resilience during lockdown. It’s better than sitting in front of a TV all day twiddling my thumbs!!

I’ll leave this here for today and check back in tomorrow, bye.

23/06/2020

I was the only one on the bus (including the driver) that wore a face mask yesterday. I did contact Cardiff

Bus to ask if it was required but they stated that it was recommended but not compulsory. I’m a bit annoyed

in all honesty, it’s compulsory in taxi’s it definitely should be for buses where there’s even more people!

Town wasn’t as bad as I was expecting considering the shops have re-opened, I met my friend Kelly in

Bute Park. There was a lot of people here, but the park is so big, and everyone was really good with their

social distancing, we sat under a tree for a couple of hours and had a great catch up. We did venture into

the actual shopping centre because it was the only place with public toilets open, the markers for one side

only and social distancing are thorough which does reassure me. Henry came over yesterday afternoon

again and we’re discussing if we should both be super thorough and careful with lockdown rules and then

sit a bit closer and maybe I can go somewhere with him and sit in the back of his car. I really want to

because so many people haven’t bothered at all, but I know I’ll just feel guilty and also don’t want to be

blamed if somehow someone in his household did get ill.

Then today I went up to Henry’s and sat in his garden with him for the first time. It was nice to actually sit

and enjoy each other’s company out of a car, my back hurts so much sitting in the boot! Mum and I also

sorted out our raised veg planter, I did my potatoes finally and we’ve now planted beetroots, radishes,

carrots, wild garlic and peas. We’re all really excited to see them grow and eat things we’ve grown

ourselves.

27/06/2020

June is nearly over, another month nearly gone in lockdown. 4 days until my birthday, because Glastonbury

would have been this weekend and I can’t celebrate my birthday properly I have decided to make it festival

themed. Grandparents are coming over separately, so I’ve ordered decorations, glitter and we’re going to

play the Glastonbury reruns from my laptop out the back. It won’t be as good as if we had time to execute it

properly and also celebrate properly but maybe a festival summer party can be held next year with friends

and family.

I was super ill yesterday; I think food poisoning from cheese that I ate that was a day off. My favourite

cheese too! My stomach still hurts, and I definitely don’t feel 100% so a brilliant way to end my final days as

a 21-year-old. However, I did have a surprise delivery today! I didn’t think it was for me because it said a

flower delivery and my Mum has ordered some dwarf trees for the front garden. Anyway, Henry sent me a

huge bunch of sunflowers and two bags of Percy pigs. They are honestly massive and I’m so happy, I

nearly cried. I think my emotions were running high because we don’t get to see each other properly and

don’t know when we will. It was almost like an early birthday gift. I went shopping and got a new vase for it

so now they’re brightening up my room.

The news has been filled with images of people on beaches ignoring social distance, it’s gotten to the point

where I have lost the energy to care now. Tesco was awful today; they no longer make people queue, and

you’d think it was Christmas it was so busy. And exactly how I said people already stopped giving a crap

about the NHS, student nurses are being treated like crap and no one really showed up to discuss NHS

pay rises in parliament. No one gives a shit, if they can post a video on social media, they’ll do it, but no

one cares beyond that.

30/06/2020

Well, the festival party plans went out the window as the weather is awful and I can’t expect grandparents

to sit outside in the rain. We did drop afternoon tea off to all of them along with a bunch of flowers.

Tomorrow I’m just going to video them all while I open my gifts and then my parents, myself and Charlie

(dog) are going to find somewhere to go for a walk. It’ll still be nice. Dad’s currently making a quiz for my

birthday tomorrow which by the sounds of it seems very interactive.

I made the quiz for next Sunday to do with my friends, it’s Taskmaster themed. If you don’t know what

Taskmaster is go watch it! NOW GO!!

June has ended, today is day 100 of lockdown. It’s gone quickly in all honesty. Tomorrow I’m 22 and a

whole other month in lockdown. See you on the other side.