Charles
“My diary is at times haphazard, contradictory, raw and partly illegible due to the progression of Parkinson’s Disease. So, in order to make sense of the ensuing, personal reflections on the pandemic, I have summarised my experiences thematically…”
Background Information: Male, aged 55-64, Retired Secondary School Headteacher, White Welsh, Married with 3 children, heterosexual. Suffers with Parkinson’s Disease, lives in rural West Wales.
Charles
“My diary is at times haphazard, contradictory, raw and partly illegible due to the progression of Parkinson’s
Disease. So, in order to make sense of the ensuing, personal reflections on the pandemic, I have
summarised my experiences thematically…”
Background Information
Male, aged 55-64, Retired Secondary School Headteacher, White Welsh, Married with 3 children,
heterosexual. Suffers with Parkinson’s Disease, lives in rural West Wales.
Pre-Covid January 27th – March 11th
Monday January 27th
Lily [grandchild] wanted to go to breakfast club so I took here at 7:30 AM an early start. Shortly after lunch, I
went down to pick Lily up asking her whether she wanted to go anywhere, she asked to go to the lakes.
After the cool showers stopped, we bought a season ticket and went for a walk around, feeding the birds
we then had a picnic, returning home just in time to see Bob (Dog). A lovely evening, however, Lily was a
scamp going to bed, taking Tony (Middle Son) an hour and a half to get her off. Are we overstimulating
her?
Tuesday January 28th
Hannah [wife] went to fetch Lily and Isla (grandchildren) Then dropped Lily at school. H and I went what
with Isla to M&S for coffee. Sean (youngest son) messaged to say he was thinking of applying for a job with
DVLA. Lunch at home. H then drove around to get Isla off to sleep and I took Rose [dog] for a walk, getting
caught in a sharp hailstorm.
Tony was quite down getting in from work. Jane [Tony’s ex partner] has found somewhere to live. Tony
went to play pool with Alex.
Wednesday January 29th
Hannah [Wife] working. I went for coffee with Gilbert and James to Harbour Lights, Burry Port. On returning
home, I tried to access the X survey, but couldn’t, it was disastrous, loosing all 65 pages of it.
Thursday January 30th
Isla with us, contacted Microsoft, wo failed to access the file as well. I will have to start the whole thing
again…grrrr!
Friday January 31st
Hannah has some paranoid patients. Picked Lily up after school. Film and Curry night. Lily really enjoyed it
with us.
Saturday 1st February
Wales 42- Italy 0. Lily with us, Pizza and games night, enjoyable.
Sunday 2nd February
Rehearsals, quite a few missing. Lily with us, she took a long time to settle, telling Tony she couldn’t
understand why she couldn’t have mammy and daddy to put her to bed.
Monday 3rd February
Took Lily to School, she went well. Dropped her back off with Jane [mother of child] although didn’t see her.
I had a bad back again. Jane with us, she is such a good washer? Parker called, to ask me to check his
CV, I’m afraid I was quite curt
Tuesday 4th February
Isla with us, coffee in M&S and shopping. Isla is such a character; her vocabulary is growing rapidly, and
she is getting more confident walking.
PM took Isla to X, she really enjoyed the soft play area. Fran [Daugher in Law] picked up Isla. Tony has a
crisis again, having called into see Jane and Lily he shouted at Jane about her ‘American man friend’.
Wednesday 5th February
Hannah has a full day of private patients, a freezing cold morning. I could face going for coffee, just
exhausted. Blood test for diabetic clinic. I am developing a nasty cough, which kept me awake.
Thursday 6th February
Isla with us today. A gorgeous day, shopping with her. Picked Lily up from school, she was happy today.
Dressed in yellow for ‘mental health week’?!?! Passed Jane in the car and she did not acknowledge us. Lily
went down to sleep quite well tonight.
Friday 7th February
I have chest pains today, quite sharp, and persistent and light headedness. I don’t want to tell Hannah as it
will only cause her more stress.
Saturday 8th February
Tony working, so Hannah and I entertained Lily. In the afternoon Tony took her to the gate which was too
busy to stay. I watched Wales get beaten by Ireland, a tough match. Storm Ciara began to her worst.
Sunday 9th February
An incredible stormy day, winds of up to 90mph and heavy showers. It was so stormy that chapel was
cancelled! After lunch Lily was reluctant to do to Jane. Tony planned to meet Lucy, a girl he met online in
Cardiff, but decided against it, we were quite relieved.
Monday 10th February
Hannah still struggling with her back and side. H still went to work. I went over to Tal and I met up with the
parish manager to discuss location for a memorial tree. It was an extremely windy and wet day. Some poor
soul had pitched a tent in the park. In the evening we found out via Yasmin that Jane had kept Lily off
school ‘cos she slept in’ we were fuming but it was too late to do anything.
Tuesday 11th February
Another wild wet windy night Sunday. Isla she's walking much better, and vocabulary is extensive and so
close Tal and James came over for morning coffee. They are going through a lot medically and emotionally
Jane quite intrusive in her questions she means well.
Wednesday 12th February
H doing private work. For coffee. After took her car over to the garage.
Thursday 13th February
I woke with a heavy cold. H took Lily to school and staff brought Isla. We went shopping with her coffee in
town.
Friday 14th February
Great news about X, her lesions have not spread, cancer is in check. After school, we went over to X to
wait for delivery of Lily's new bed. Having cleaned the house top to bottom I had a call to say that H’s car
was ready for collection from 650 pounds.
Jane moved into her new house, took quite a bit of stuff from house, bed shoe chest, settee, poof, nest of
tables, etc, she left the house in quite a mess including rubbish left from Christmas. What a hectic day! We
were exhausted.
Saturday 15th February
Storm Dennis hit hard very heavy rain and wind. Hannah went shopping first thing. Sean, Isla, Tony, and
Lily came over for coffee. Sean and Fran went off to look for another day! Girls took Lily to Jane before he
drove to Cardiff to meet up with a girl, he met online.
Sunday 16th February
Another rough morning house full for lunch. Tony has been to Cardiff and going out with a girl! PM
rehearsal.
Monday 17th February
Storm Dennis left trail of destruction nationwide. I don't have the day off but did private work this morning.
My sinuses were so bad I went to see the GP who prescribed antibiotics felt quite rough.
Tuesday 18th February
We picked Lily up from Jane in the morning no Isla today. Jane was quite civil to Hannah. We took Lily to X
for puddle jumping I met with Fran and Isla. Tony picked up Lily in the evening and then H and I went to
heritage society meeting in the hall.
Wednesday 19th February
Having picked up Lily from X before Tony went to work, early start for all concerned.
Thursday 20th February
Hannah fetched Lily and Sean brought Isla, gave her breakfast. In torrential rain, we foolishly decided to go
shopping with Lily and his coffee in Dunelm. Got back and Katy called in to see us.
Friday 21st February
Hannah picked up Lily to take her to Jane’s, what a waste of Hannah’s time and effort. Jane could have
picked her up! Fran brought Isla by about 10:15 AM, logs from Castle arrived. Hannah took Isla to X she is
such a good child, though the possessive of Hannah.
Monday 24th February
A day of housekeeping for me, work for Hannah. No joy today, she is ill. I picked Lily up from school, it was
dry enough we went to wildlife park. My stick fell in the Flamingo pool Lily was good.
Tuesday 25th February
Hannah took Lily to school, Sean brought Isla. She has a bit of a cold runny nose but not complaining.
Window cleaner came, we went out for H to exchange Welsh costume. Both went to pick up Lily I stayed in
the car as if I was asleep postop Lily enjoyed playing with Isla. How to make pancakes, lush!
Wednesday 26th February
A frosty morning. Hannah was working I got up to take Lily to school she was again good today I went in
without difficulty. H went up to the graveyard again to take more photos and cheque what I have done.
Picked up Lily from school however we saw Jane, Lily was very upset wanted to go with her. Jane ‘I like
your coat, you look like Bet Lynch’, also could take you to buy a birthday present for Polly’s party! Cheeky!
Lily came around by the time we go to X, Jane phoned Tony.
Thursday 27th February
Hannah picked up Lily and Isla. I went to diabetic appointment blood sugar is 60. I've lost half a stone since
last year cholesterol:4. Blood Pressure 138/76 chuffed. Took Isla for a sleep at the beach and café for
elevenses. I wonder how Lily got on today….
Friday 28th February
What a day!! Incredibly wet and heavy rain and wind. Storm Jorge flooding on X road.
Saturday 29th February
A day at home.
Sunday 1st March
Another cold started with a vengeance, so I was unable to go to the Chapel. Just the two of us for lunch,
strange feeling. Tony brought Lily up to stay with us, so Lily could wear her Welsh costume, however we
had a meltdown from Lily and Tony.
Monday 2nd March
Another day and was all forgotten by Lily. Tony was still sensitive about it. He worked so I did the school
run. The news is dominated by coronavirus, a worrying time for the world. I just hope that we are all
prepared physically and spiritually. Lily and Tony with us for a meal.
Tuesday 3rd March
Hannah did the school run. I Rang the GP who phoned me back to prescribe another dose of antibiotics.
Isla came over with Sean who was preparing for his meeting with the council which went well until tell he
realised he had left his fly open. Hannah and I took Isla's to pick up Lily from school Lily and Tony came for
tea again.
Wednesday 4th March
Hannah did private work whilst I took Lily to school and then did some panic buying just some sensible
stocking up I didn't go for coffee not wanted to spread my cold to Gilbert and James.
Thursday 5th March
Sean had another excellent interview but the consensus was that he is over qualified for that job.
Saturday 7th March
Hannah met up with X. I watch Wales lose valiantly to England 30-33 COVID-19 is spreading.
Sunday 8th March
Only Tony and Lily came for lunch. Sean, Bob and Isla also came over and all went swimming. I decided
not to go to Chapel again do due to my heavy cold watched Scotland beat France. Further cases of
COVID-19 reported in UK 5 deaths.
Monday 9th March
Still full of cold hell and decided to stay off work. So, both went to take Lily to school. Lily was slow
unerupted to go she's becoming quite difficult at times. We also both went to collect her from school, so
Tony was able to finish early to go to parents evening. A teacher said that her reading age was 6.9 and
maths reasonable. She needs to write some letters and numbers the right way round. Sean phoned you
saw his boss this morning and had decided not to take the council job. The council was very understanding
about it. The huge relief all round as there are these up promotion opportunities in DC.
Tuesday 10th March
News dominated by government medical advisers warning of 10s of thousands of casualties to come. We
had Isla for the day she is so fast! Hannah had a physio appointment to start with, so I took Isla for a walk-
through town to entertain her.
Wednesday 11th March
I didn't go for coffee again Hannah did load of private work. I went to the graveyard to try to carve high
some more discrepancies.
Thursday 12th March
Isla for the day I am Marks and Spencer’s for coffee PM out in the car.
Friday 13th March
Hannah at patients and hairdressers followed by coffee. I paid my last visit to the graveyard hopefully to
finish this survey. Hannah picked up Lily who was in a great mood Sean joined us and we had Curry night!
It now seems as if the UK is facing the ABCD of disaster.
Ash dieback - disappearance of hedgerows and nesting sites
Brexit - need I explain!
Coronavirus - need I explain!
Deluge - recent flooding
Saturday 14th March
As the Wales V Scotland game was postponed, we decided to go up to Cardiff IKEA with Tony and Lily
and McArthur Glen in the afternoon. I did not feel well at all probably shouldn't have gone back home by
4:00 PM, concerned that he may not be able to visit us again for a while due to virus restrictions.
Sunday 15th March
This is a very unreal world 30 deaths in UK 1400 with virus. Aled had a call as he had fallen. She also went
over in the afternoon, Tony and Lily came over having had a cooked breakfast. I went to Chapel only 10 of
us there.
Monday 16th March
A beautiful morning. I went to get Lily, ready for school. She went off with little bother, after which I did a bit
of shopping. I also called it the new Cemetery to photograph the graves ready for my me to transcribe and
analyse. Stolen work to expect to work on wards in support of missing staff. Boris held press conference
where became clear that he was out of his depth.
Tuesday 17th March
Sean has now been promoted to replace somebody who was given her marching orders the other day. It
was tough trying to entertain Isla when it was such a wet day are we talking in the car in the morning for
Hannah to pick up reminder of my prescription. My prayer is for protection for all family members strength
for those treating virus sufferers, and peace for us all. God help us all!
Wednesday 18th March
Life continues to move rapidly to an unreal trajectory. H did some private work, Tony phoned to say that
something was closing down and a friend of one work colleague who works for the police had been told to
prepare for a complete lockdown as from tomorrow.
Thursday 19th March
Today is a better with us for the day. Lily dropped off by Jane at 11ish. Lily was quite brattish today. I think
it's the transition after being with Jane. We don't know how Jane treats her or what she lets her get awa y
with. Hannah was able to get Isla to sleep in the car.
Friday 20th March
I wonder if people 50 or even five years ago could visualise that time of global conflict facing us today.
World War three without boundaries. Unseen, turning life completely on its head, whose battles are fought
in every community, with weapons as simple as tissue and hand sanitizer against a powerful unseen
enemy, destroyer of life at a cellular level.
Lily was with us again today as Hannah did the last of her private patients. The PM’s press conference
today was talk about what is expected and how to respond to the coming pandemic. Already thousands are
infected power hundreds have died. I had the worst chest pain for a while, lasted for one hour.
Saturday 21st March
Tony worked until 12:45 PM had a bit of lunch and then took Lily to the park. Dropped her off at Jane's.
Sunday 22nd March
Despite the restrictions Sean, Isla, Bob, Tony, and Ryan called in but all very careful to minimise contact.
With no Chapel it was good to enjoy the online service. The news showed several idiots visiting the Brecon
Beacons and Snowdonia, no thought of possible consequences.
Monday 23rd March
H went for a meeting her boss, clueless, no not just wasting time and valuable NHS resources, but also
dangerous. Hannah told them she would not be in work for a while. I stayed at home or do so from now
until probably July. Ryan said France closed so he can work from home he is able to alternate workdays.
Tony has been told he must continue in work. We are really worried about care for Lily. Sean must continue
and work, though it is closed to the public. Fran has been laid off temporarily on 80% salary, lots of
uncertainty. At 5:00 PM [8pm] the PM announced a ‘lockdown’ of sorts, though still unsure of
consequences.
Tuesday 24th March
As yesterday a glorious day we went out gardening. Unable to make online shop, we did a delivery slot
became available for next week. We actually had a lovely day and got quite a bit done. Thankfully Tony has
been able to agree with Jane that she keeps Lily until Friday evening. He was told that we're doing the
sales Department but the workshop would keep going until Friday. After that he will be on the 80%
government scheme with possibility of some top up from work.
Wednesday 25th March
Another glorious day, quite warm in the sun. H went out for papers, but I don't know whether she should. I
took Rose for a walk. Death rates are rising steeply and claiming young lives a 21-year-old and 37-year-old.
Hope everyone decides to play their part by following the new rules. Wales is a quieter, unusual place.
Unable to see the children and grandchildren, though we are FaceTiming - technology can be a blessing.
Thursday 26th March
8:00 PM what an emotional experience applauded from the doorstep in support of an adjacent care
workers lots of neighbours did the same. Had a bit of a meltdown in the evening don't know why.
Friday 27th March
It turns out that the pm English health secretary I'm chief medical officer have coronavirus. Took the dog for
a walk. It is also eerily quiet everywhere on the police have powers of enforcement of restrictions. This is
one of those times which will change our world hopefully for the better, but in the meantime, it is so painful
for everyone.
Saturday 28th March
1/3 of the world population is under locked out death rates continue to rise dramatically. Staff had to go into
to give keys to tenants. Tony pick Lily up and seemed happy together. Found out that accent have
symptoms of the virus and will be tested next week to confirm.
Sunday 29th March
Another beautiful crisp day but strange to be on our own. I took Rose for a walk to the Cemetery in back
with mask and gloves but saw no one. Hannah took her out this afternoon. Tony had a weird experience
last night police were called at 11:30 PM to ask about an accident.
Tuesday 31st March
Tony and Lily called up for them to pick up a few things, sat out in the garden to keep our distance. It's so
difficult for Lily to fully grasp what's going on but she knew that the virus means that we must all be 2
metres apart.
April
Wednesday 1st April
Asda delivery came it worked out well. However next time we should I said everything in the garage for 24
hours as the virus can apparently live for up to a day on Cardboard.
Thursday 2nd April
8pm - Again several of us along the street went to outdoor steps to applaud in support of key workers who
are keeping us going.
Friday 3rd April
This would have been mum's 95th birthday and we are so thankful that she isn't alive now to witness what
is happening. Midday how I went out to pick up Rose’s tablets put in a repeat prescription for H to collect. It
seems to be quite a few vehicles about despite the lockdown they also went to the Co-op this was my first
time out of the village in the car since 17th of March. Lily had a good week with Tony he went back to Jane
at midday hope Tony can cope now.
Saturday 4th April
A busy day took the dog for a walk to park. Hannah painted the shed and mowed the lawn. We had a G&T
on the decking on it to get the BBC News flash for the 500 die from COVID - a cruel and disease.
Sunday 5th April
Another strange Sunday listening to Vicar’s online message.
Wednesday 8th April
6:30 PM Asda delivery came the guy dropped the bags at the top of the drive and we put everything into
the garage, cleaned everything and then stored away.
Thursday 9th April
A hot day I took it easy today, feeling weak. 8:00 PM yet another emotional clap for carers quite a few
people went outside to do so people spoke and cheered.
Friday 10th April Good Friday
A warm day 21 degrees see. Finished grounding patio fans planted some shrubs altogether busy day. H
took a food parcel to Sean and Fran; Isla is very clingy now but has developed a vocabulary superb. Took
Rose for a long walk to the hedgerows are so colourful an abundance of blues, yellows and whites.
Saturday 11th April
Phew what a scorcher - another warm day. H took puppy for a walk whilst I relaxed at home. We both
pottered. News was again awful 900 UK deaths including an 11-year-old. X is working full time as the
consultant in charge of his na chess unit.
Sunday 12th April Easter Day
What a beautiful Easter morning warm spring sunshine I took Rose to X for a walk. The Campion in full
flower skylarks ascending, pond water trickling into the Brook. We had a lovely lunch together followed by
pottering about. Tony FaceTime with Lily who wanted to visit us tomorrow however I put them off as much
as we would have loved to have seen them.
Monday 13th April
What are contrast, a cooler day. H went off to ALDI by 8:00 AM to catch up on some shopping. I took Rose
for a walk to the square and back she caught a rat in our garden on the way back.
Tuesday 14th April
AM - catching up on phone calls. Spoke to X who sounded weak. X was with him, and she sounded very
flat. I spoke to X who was very positive even though she spent a lot of time alone. Another warm day spent
the afternoon in the cotton.
Wednesday 15th April
Expert designer who explained that X had heart failure which was making him confused. Do you live in a
police state? Patrol car passed how long are St daily and the police chopper flies overhead what do the
police hope to achieve.
Thursday 16th April
Warm day, pottering in the garden clearing the gutter by the garage door, I'm painting the side gate with
spray paint. PM finish bill prices book on the party fascinating and entertaining. One quote stand “we are
really no better prepared for a bad outbreak today than we were when Spanish flu killed 10s of millions of
people 100 years ago. The reason isn't because we have been especially vigilant, it's because we have
been lucky”. Another emotional outburst of appreciative applause as the street nearly everyone was out.
R&R at the top end had lots of pots and pans. A great exercising community endearing.
Friday 17th April
Cooler day today, after a leisurely start H and I went out prescription 2X Halford’s for click and collect paint
order, Sean is dropping off his medication, to the coop and X for some groceries. Watching the slow
queues of people ff people outside shops reminded me of images of the old USSR. Lockdown is a form of
tyranny, but arguably unnecessary one. Showery afternoon.
Saturday 18th April
H braved it and went shopping to home bargains, will go exchange experience she told me. I caught up on
phone calls X told me that his unit is to be converted from geriatric rehab to covid. He does have sufficient
PPE, despite a national shortage, he's incredibly brave to carry on working full time.
Sunday 19th April
Took puppy for a walk to X, the dumped rubbish is still there. I watched X on S4 see with X. Very uplifting
on jaune 2.0. PM - parted about in the garden whilst H took Rose out. They said that Lily was tired out not
having slept well last night. Government have been exposed by The Sunday Times for the hopeless ill
prepared charlatans that they are. Johnson failing to deem COVID a threat earlier in the year his pants are
down yet again.
Monday 20th April
Am - hate spend the morning doing her N HS ESR including one training module which she passed the
flying colours. However, the system failed, and we lost everything she had done. Pm - Tony and Lily called
up and we sat outside the front door social distancing being exceptionally challenging with Lily it may have
been better if they hadn't come.
Tuesday 21st April
I took Rose for a long walk and saw the council workmen clearing the fly tipping away from X. The
lockdown has produced some contradictory trends clarity of birdsong at X (the larks are numerous) the
clarity of the air (very rarely do we see planes flying over and vapour trails appearing) the selfishness of
some people fly tipping and the few who speed along our Rd.
Wednesday 22nd April
Started emptying the shed what a massive job! Are beautiful day. the news is more encouraging with
regard to death great could this mean that the lockdown will be eased soon.
Thursday 23rd April
A day of deliveries Morrison’s brought groceries first thing, we then had Amazon, including Hannah's
surgical masks or when she returns to work an hour white stuff order. The hottest day of the week 20
degrees ideal for gardening am I congratulated myself out of the shed. This will be the last time I would
ever do that hopefully 8:00 PM the clap for carers people were on the street clapping cheering and banging
saucepans quite a scene. With them watched the big night in a BBC One fundraiser to help UK families in
need – a brilliant cover version of Foo Fighters times like these, very poignant.
Friday 24th April
Hannah took Rose for a long walk this morning beautiful if overcast day. Last night Trump trumped himself
by advocating injecting bleach and radiation as cures for COVID, unbelievable and scary. H went shopping,
also taking our return clothes to the post office for white stuff. I'm in a more reflective mode now. The
lockdown is playing havoc with my sense of time and space, as well as emotions and perceptions. The
clarity with which nature now appears does not seem to apply to my own self-perception.
Saturday 25th April
Fruits of Eden delivered to us another beautiful day. Sean Fran and Isla came over and we got the paddling
pool up for them. A great time was had by all, although I felt guilty. X delivered an Indian takeaway so easy.
Sunday 26th April
Yes, another gorgeous day. I spent the morning going through X’s assignment it took me 4 hours or so.
FaceTime with Lily and Tony - Lily is really missing her school friends and teachers - we're missing her.
Monday 27th April
Left more deliveries today and attachment for the water but hand sanitizer gel, and in the evening Tesco
groceries, I took Rose for a walk to X and H did some remote working on her pdr. Evening the news is
slightly more encouraging in that fewer people are dying from covid. However, a Panorama exposes
showed major lapses in the governments PPE procurement of its willingness to spin out of it. Infuriating that
people’s lives are at risk through their incompetence and complacency.
Tuesday 28th April
Rain for most of the day. I sat with Hannah to try to help her with her distance working online. It is complex
and unreliable at a time when there must be other any chase workers in the same position.
Wednesday 29th April
The skies are clear, no vapour trails. The roads are empty, far less traffic. Our lives are quieter, far less to
do. We are missing our children and grandchildren. The pandemic has produced so much good a
reassessment of what is valuable in life. However, it has robbed people throughout the world of the basic
right to be present at life's rites of passage, from birth to death, from babies being delivered in virtual
isolation, to cancelled wedding celebrations, to frozen house sales, the deaths on a ward without family or
friends being present.
Thursday 30th April
I spent the day stripping down the children’s old metal wheelbarrow, painting it with hammarite and must
admit that it looks good. 8:00 PM clap on a cooler evening yet most of the street seemed to be involved.
The government claims that the pandemic has reached its peak in the UK. They have been so inept that it
is difficult to believe them. Hope they're right. The death rate is now 27,000+, And care homes are
struggling as the virus runs rampant throughout that sector. We owe it to the staff until the older generation
who have paid their taxes to protect them.
May
Friday 1st May
Sean iffy Isla Ann Bob came up with some shopping keeping their distance. Very diFrancult especially for
his about. She seems to be a very knowing child and is taking clearly remarkable for a 17 month old. Tony
and Lily also popped up for an hour again keeping their distance. Afterwards we felt guilty that we may
have broken the rules of locked down. 7:00 PM we zoom conferenced with X&XX&XX Anne X xx X and her
boyfriend X. Axe is working full time his unit is now solely for covid patiets. They had their first death this
week. X total stat XNX in Germany where he will be returning to teach in a few weeks.
Saturday 2nd May
A much cooler day, so sunny. We spent time in the garden, enjoying the fruits of our labours, of each
others company.
Sunday 3rd May
Prepare tablets for the next fortnight. Then listen to morning service from X theme being God is generous.
Monday 4th May
Had an early morning call from Isla and Sean. Unheard of us to be in bed at 7:30am but it was still lovely to
hear from them. I took Rose for a walk to Green Meadows. Major forestry work going on- cutting down
scores of trees. H waited for news from work - she was told that the kit for making medical masks was to
come on Wednesday
Tuesday 5th May
What a contrast in 2 days – very windy and much cooler. Took Rose for short walk whilst H went to Aldi
and Halfords, also to try and get my prescription. It is still not ready.
PM – I gardened whilst H had to ring some more private patients telling them that she wouldn’t be with
them for a while. Some don’t “get it” and can’t understand the full meaning of the lockdown and reasons for
it
Wednesday 6th May
H had a call from Mary, the Plough, who was crying as her feet were so painful. H went down with mask,
apron and gloves, sanitising herself – treated Mary’s bad feet. I’m not sure if H should have done that.
And yet, at 2pm, Tony called up with Lily – lovely to see them but again diFrancult for Lily to understand
fully. She kept complaining about the lockdown and what it’s doing to life.
We both felt GUILTY for H going to the Plough and for us seeing Tony and Lily – guilty for doing what
would have been normal only a few weeks ago.
Thursday 7th May
A warm day.
Hannah’s boss in Podiatry is struggling to find work for her to do at home; however, all the Podiatrists are
saying that they do very little work at the moment – routine clinics have been postponed indefinitely and
‘emergency’ patients are reluctant to go in to the hospital out of fear of COVID. Fear is the predominant
emotion in many aspects of life.
8pm – another well-patronised “clap for carers”, enabling us to see neighbours and participate in another
collective act.
Friday 8th May
VE Day commemorations – quieter and more socially distanced than planned. Delivery day: Meat from
butcher; groceries from Tesco; Amazon deliveries. Once lockdown is relaxed, I think we will be continuing
with many of these shopping arrangements
7pm – Zoom conference with Tal, Chris, Jon, Jane, Cath, Phil, Dave, Sarah, H and I – in keeping with VE
Day commemoration, H and I dressed up and put up a VE Day background. It was great to catch up with
everyone
Saturday 9th May
AM – H made an early trip to ASDA. I had a zoom coffee morning with Spence, Rich and Bry – it worked
quite well and I think Bry in particular appreciated it. As the rest of the day proved to be quite warm, H and I
spent the time gardening. Fruit and veg delivery came, as did our new clothes from white stuff – it’s all
online shopping these days. I felt very tired all day.
Sunday 10th May
Took Rose for a walk to Green Meadows – the red kite was swooping down on to the freshly cut hay. The
pond is seething with tadpoles. I then watched the Greenfield service – what a way to practice one’s faith!
Spencer called over in the afternoon and we sat in the porch – distanced of course. In the evening,
Johnson addressed the nation, attracting 27m viewers – it was a confusing contradicting mess, with a hint
of mischief in driving a wedge between all 4 nations of the UK.
Monday 11th May
A day of “pottering”, H still waiting for her boss to allocate meaningful home working for her to do. I fear that
I may have some COVID symptoms – swollen glands, feeling warm, tired and groggy. Watched a shocking
documentary about the Royal Gwent Hospital during the pandemic.
The Govt. continues to sow confusion and despair as so many lives, 732k, continue to be lost. They seem
to operate in parallel universe where if they utter platitudes, things will get better. They are clueless. They
should be made to watch the Royal Gwent documentary.
Tuesday 12th May
I took Rose out – my daily exercise. When Tony picked Lily up from Jane, she asked immediately to come
to see us. They came over in the afternoon and Lily seemed to be delighted. She is finding lockdown hard,
missing friends, school and freedom. As a 6 yr old, she will remember these months for the rest of her life –
they will be formative times especially in the wake of her parents break up.
Wednesday 13th May
A bitterly cold day after a frosty night. H began the day by going to Aldi, and then taking Rose for a walk. I
prepared our bedroom walls for repainting by filling cracks.
PM – Sean, Fran and Isla called up for an hour. She has grown and developed so much – a proper
character.
The Govt. announced that we have suffered a massive dip – 2% in GDP – an economic cataclysm seems
to be coming our way and it is Isla’s and Lily’s generation that will have to pay the cost of this.
My symptoms have eased – worry over…for now.
Thursday 14th May
Having dropped Lily off with her mother, Tony called over, staying on the drive to speak to us. He looks so
good and is so positive about life – what a turnaround!
8pm - another ‘clap for carers’ – emotional for all. We also watched the Ysbyty Enfys rendition of ‘bridge
over troubled water’ - such a poignant recording. We also watched a video sent by Yasmin of a convoy
paying tribute to Prince Phillip Hospital - quite a sight!
Friday 15th May
Sean went into work to prepare the oFrance for a return to business on 1st June. It is going to be very
challenging for the staff and clients - how can social distancing work when conducting house viewings.
The UK government continues to be shamelessly supporting the wealthy in England permitting cleaners,
cooks, gardeners etc., to work whilst forbidding family visits - they show where their true priorities lie.
Saturday 16th May
Virtual coffee with the Musketeers. Bry in particular is struggling not being able to go out with James who is
dementia is worsening and not been able to receive visitors.
Although cool it was pleasant enough for H and I to sit outside and have a G&T - such decadence! Tesco
delivered in the evening.
Sunday 17th May
Another Sunday service online - a strange experience.
Monday 18th May
A very cool day - felt a bit wintry. I took Rose for a walk whilst H stayed at home to do some home-working.
On the way past Green Meadows I was shocked to see how much of the woods have been cut down.
During lockdown the loggers have been working constantly destroying and ancient woodland - coincidence
or convenience?
Tony picked up Lily and did some school work with her. Sean, Fran and Isla went to wish Jay a happy
birthday, though of course socially distanced.
Nearly 35K people have now died of Covid.
Tuesday 19th May
I spent most of the day painting our bedroom whilst H took it on herself to start crocheting.
Wednesday 20th May
A beautiful day - I took the dog for a lovely long walk in the spring sunshine. The foxgloves have taken over
from the bluebells. Tony brought Lucy and Lily over as it was so nice, we stayed in the back garden with
the paddling pool etc. as well, hoping not to cause too much fuss for the neighbours. Lily finds it very
difficult to maintain her distance. Our new mower arrived, and Tony assembled it for us, though it had a
damaged wheel. Inevitably now damage will happen to deliveries.
Thursday 21st May
I had a bad day - anxious and feeling under the weather. I convinced myself that I might have Covid but
that is nonsense. I also brooded over the state of the world, the lack of compliance so many people in
England yesterday, many of whom went to the beach and the threat of a second or even third wave of the
pandemic.
Friday 22nd May
A stormy, showery day after a very thundery night. I spent the morning pottering in the shed, planting out
more carrots and spinach. We then took our old mower up to Ryan who was not pleased that we had risk
ourselves to do this - he is very protective of us.
PM – Tony and Lucy returned Rose to us. Lucy is a sweet girl so long as Tony knows what he’s doing.
Ryan has been told that he is back in the oFrance on 22nd of June. I hope that his boss has put safety
measures in place.
7pm - zoom meeting with my siblings, we all had something to show that represents our experience of the
pandemic so far. H showed a bottle of Barbicide, I showed a bottle of my new preventative medication,
Physolate, which I intended to sell…work it out.
Saturday 23rd May
What a windy day! On a wild morning, H took Rose for a walk whilst a proof-read Franon’s application for
the college lectureship. 11:30am - WhatsApp coffee with Bry, Spence and Richard the latter having been
taken to Glanguili last night. Thankfully, not COVID or as Bry calls it COFEB-19!
PM – I took Rose for a blustery walk. Eve - Asda delivery a huge help to us.
Sunday 24th May
Sean, Fran and Isla came over for lunch my feelings of guilt at having family over tempered by delight at
being in their company she completed her application for the Pibwrlwyd job and I helped to tweak it.
Isabella is so funny a proper little lady knowing her own mind.
The Dominic Cummings affair hit the headlines - whatever happened to “leading by example” - surely he
cannot continue at number 10?
Monday 25th May
AM – I attempted to use our new lawnmower, however its wheels and axle has been damaged, probably in
transit - what hassle! Tony and Lily came over for a fleeting visit.
The weather has started to improve along with my mood. I feel concerned that so many people are
congregating at beaches and parks etc. this could speed up our drift towards a second wave. I’m also
increasingly annoyed at the Cummings affair as he led a press conference for an hour in number 10’s
garden - unbelievable arrogance and lack of self-awareness. The reviews of Barnard Castle are hilarious.
Tuesday 26th May
AM – H made an early morning shoot to Aldi and Asda to buy a few things that were missing from
Saturday’s delivery. I spent most of the day pottering and took Rose for a walk. The logging in the woods is
quite intensive - I wonder if they have had permission?
The government press conference led by Matt Hancock was laughable - a lesson in how to try to defend
the indefensible. Cath had had a lengthy email from her MP - a Tory - who was highly critical of Cummings.
Wednesday 27th May
A beautiful day again - a bit cloudy. The lawnmower will be picked up tomorrow and we will then have a
choice about replacing it or having a refund. Tony phoned - he has been called back to work next Monday
and doesn’t know what to do about Lily. I spent the day cleaning up and re-packaging the mower.
Thursday 28th May
Sean’s birthday - we arranged for Maddocks of Tumble to deliver an afternoon tea to them it worked out
really well and was quite lavish.
PM - DPD collected the mower hope we can resolve this problem soon.
8pm – ‘Clap for carers’ – not so many of our neighbours came out tonight though it was good to be able to
speak to Graham (recently diagnosed with MS) and Katy (suffering crippling arthritis) - is this to be the last
clap as the press would have it?
Friday 29th May
Another glorious hot day – H and I pottered about.
PM – Tony told us that he had cycled to Bury port harbour and had seen a cormorant fighting to eat on eel
– also fending off seagulls.
7pm – Zoom meeting with my siblings and spouses, theme chosen “world biscuit day” - Jon told us that his
unit was quiet today, though still tense all in PPE - a very tough working environment in the heat.
Saturday 30th May
AM – Coffee via WhatsApp with Musketeers. Sean, Fran and Isla came over with their own lunch and sat
on the patio with us in sweltering heat. Sean told us that Isla was ill in the evening - restless and high
temperature, we suggested heatstroke - thankfully doesn’t seem to be COVID-19 but that is a worry.
Eve – Asda home delivery and the poor delivery boy had to report damage to some of our groceries -
inevitable I suppose.
Sunday 31st May
We walked to the news that many US these are in flames due to the riots about the brutal treatment of a
black man George Floyd in Minneapolis. I then watched and relayed morning service from Greenfield
missing fellowship and singing. Interesting that horseracing and snooker is to reopen but not chapels and
churches.
PM – Tony and Lily called up staying on the patio more encouraging news of Isla who is better, Lily is
missing school.
June
Monday 1st June
AM – I took Rose for a walk to Cen Coed – really warm again nature is in full flow and the five petal flowers
– celandine, campion etc. Taking the place of the trumpets and horns section the bluebells and foxgloves
also found a duck’s egg on the edge of the pond.
H had Gloria from work to visit H new role will be to triage podiatry patients by phone and set up a new
patient file for them. Well she was doing that I went to M and S my first shopping trip on my own for three
months there was an air of apprehension amongst staff and customers something I have never
experienced before in such an innocuous place. At home I managed to sort the mower problem out a new
one is coming on Wednesday or Thursday however the saga plants issue will probably not be solved - how
annoying.
Tuesday 2nd June
The window cleaners started back having been on universal credit for 2 ½ months a tough time financially
for them.
Wednesday 3rd June
The last of the hot days so I get reimbursed us for the plants and the phone call it took such a fight to
resolve.
AM – Richard, Bryan and Spencer came over for a coffee - socially distanced of course. I plated up biscuits
and set up the sunroom so that we could sit apart once they left us sanitised everything seemed to work out
well. H started her private work - we use the garage as her ‘decontamination chamber’ so she could drive
back strip off and keep separate.
Friday 5th June
PM – Fran, Bob and Isla came over having been up since 5am. H and I took Isla for a walk, but she
wouldn’t go to sleep. Sean then called to have food with us after work. Life is beginning to return to a form
of normality but there is the undercurrent of COVID and the unspoken fear of a second pandemic especially
in the light of the Black Lives Matter protests and the unseeingly waste in England to relax the lockdown.
Saturday 6th June
Bitterly cold - 5° C hail and strong winds. Tony and Lily came over after lunch and Lily stayed overnight with
us. She has matured so much and her level of understanding is deep. She said a few times that she hoped
the lockdown would end. In the evening we watched sonic the hedgehog film and fair play Lily went off to
sleep. Cold enough for the heating!
Sunday 7th June
After a 7am start it dried out sufficiently for Lily and I need to go for a walk with Rose. Lily was so good
asking a lot of questions about nature. Tony came for lunch and eventually took Lily home at about 5ish -
again a cool evening.
Monday 8th June
A nice Andrea day I took Rose for a morning walk whilst H carried on with her phone triaging for work. At
least she feels she is doing something constructive to watch the NHS work. Our new mower came – yahoo!
It’s working well and give the lawn a good cut.
In the afternoon, H did some private work in the village Joan is awful and kept asking for me – poor Brian.
55 more UK deaths from Covid, only three in Wales seems to be encouraging, however deaths are usually
late being recorded after a weekend.
Wednesday 10th June
10:30am – I walked over to Richard’s for a socially distance coffee with Bryan and Spencer. It rained so H
picked me up at about 11:30 am.
Eve - the most amazing dramatic sunsets.
Thursday 11th June
A hot day.
In the afternoon Yasmin called over for a coffee with H. She was in fine form and brought a cardigan she
had knitted for Lily during lockdown.
Friday 12th June
8:30am - Tony dropped Lily off with us. Jane is in a bad way at the moment, her emotional state has
worsened by lockdown loneliness. Unfortunately, we are unable to help Jane however we can help Tony by
looking after Lily and giving her some stability. There were a few occasions when I had to raise my voice
because she was demanding. Fran, Isla and Bob came over in the afternoon, followed by Sean and Tony
once they had finished work. Sheesh Mahal delivered an Indian takeaway for us all - quite a feast they all
left by 7:30ish. H and I were knackered and feeling a little guilty about possibly breaching rules. Needless
to say we did not zoom at my siblings tonight.
Saturday 13th June
Ryan was in a cherry picker at Ty Elwyn at 8am for the ongoing structural surveys. Hope he was safe. In
the afternoon H and I went to Swiss valley garden centre and bought a new Appletree to replace the one I
had to go up.
Sunday 14th June
A warm day H and I were on our own throughout the day. I watched the Welsh service from Greenfield
whilst H went to see Mary and Cyril who have struggled during lockdown. This has been exceptionally hard
for the elderly and those without technology or knowledge to use it. PM – H and I walked Rose to Green
Meadows.
Monday 15th June
H working from home again today carrying a out triage of seven more patients. No adverse reactions yet
even when she decided to delist one.
I went to the surgery to in role for an online access to my prescriptions that is the way forward as it
minimises trips to the surgery and gives me control of my repeats. I then went to B&Q the range and
Morrison’s there is a palpable sense of anxiety in the shops and new protocols people standing and waiting
whilst others moved on. Gardening in the afternoon - very warm.
Eve – I spoke to James who told me he had had AF for the past two weeks which is known as a
consequence of having Covid. Whilst he could not be sure of its pathology, he is having an antibody test
tomorrow. He also spoke about how many of his NHS colleagues at all levels have been suffering
sleeplessness, emotional disturbance and malaise as a result of working during a pandemic. This is going
to have very long-lasting consequences for society.
Tuesday 16th June
Damp morning. H had private work.
Wednesday 17th June
A beautiful and cool morning. Gilbert came over by 1045 and we had coffee on the decking socially
distanced of course. He has really been feeling the effects of lockdown, being unable to see his sons and
grandchildren and having very limited contact with non-at here supported living in bungalow. A
thunderstorm ended our coffee time at about 1230. Fran, and Isla came over and then H took Isla to pick
Lily up.
Eve – again some fantastic sunset which we photographed.
Thursday 18th June
We had a lazy all day quite demanding. She had lost a tooth in the night and had swallowed it sure was
upset for quite a while. H had a great idea of painting a picture of the tooth for the tooth fairy and for Lily to
have a sleepover with us - seemed to calm Lily down.
Friday 19th June
Again, we had a lazy all day. In the afternoon Fran and Isla came over and we all had fish and chips from
Swiss valley fish bar.
Saturday 20th June
A much-needed quiet day for me and H.
PM – Yasmin and ash called over. Ben is very depressed suicidal couldn’t get hold of Samaritans. He is
feeling the effects of lockdown ash and Yasmin appreciated a chat and some moral support.
Eve – Power cut for about quarter of an hour maybe an electric storm?
Sunday 21st June
Sean and Isla came over followed by Tony for lunch. Ryan came over in the afternoon and we sat on the
decking – his first visit to us for three months. It was a very cool and windy afternoon. Trump held his first
rally in the US – expected tens of thousands only 6000 turned up to hear his unhinged worldview – he is
such a danger.
Monday 22nd June
H went back to work in the hospital today. She was isolated in the cabin but met two colleagues for coffee
at lunch socially distanced. Her boss had been absent since last Tuesday as their son had been in the
company of a Corvid patient annoyingly - quite worrying. On her return home H parked in the garage
stripped off and showered immediately. I spent the day pottering – dog walking painting and cleaning. I also
wasted a few hours updating the graveyard survey only to lose all the data I had inputted – grrr!
Another sign of returning to normality; the Rag’n’Bone Man drove past with his familiar groan off “ooold
rages, ooold iron”.
Fran did not get the lectureship at Carmarthen – her limited use of Google Meet apparently brought her
down. I Took Rose to the vet for her annual – parked outside the surgery phoned in Vets collected her and
then brought her back once the deed was done.
Tuesday 23rd June
A nice start to the day but then the Sun came out. Johnson will announce relaxation of 2,000,000+ of the
rules in England today and yet there is a massive increase in cases in the Americas and Germany has
resumed local lockdowns – I am anxious about the effect on the disease and on our family. Life can never
be risk free but is there a danger of a reckless relaxation?
Wednesday 24th June
A very hot day - > 28° C. We took Lily to Llanelli beach which was far from busy as the tide was out. We
had great fun looking at the sea life on the shore especially a large crab which Lily wanted to keep.
After lunch at home, I began setting the paddling pool up which had a leak. Fran brought Isla over and Lily
began to play up – very difficult. To cap it all, our utility room tap sprung a leak by which time I had had
enough! Because Lily was so awkward, I ended up shouting at her. Unpleasant all around.
Thursday 25th June
Sweltering hot day more than 30° C. Tony dropped Lily off with us at 8 am and went off to work. We took
Lily to Llanelli beach by 930-ish. What amess greeted us1 they had obviously been beach parties -plenty of
rubbish left and thrown. Lily met up with Gethin a boy at her school class and his sister. They played
together in the sea whilst H spoke to them at their mother. Lily had a great time. After lunch H then took Lily
over to see Isla, Fran, Fran’s mother and 4 yr. old Ellis.
Lily asked me “Tadcu, what makes a family?” My response “Love”. This is indicative of her thinking. Tony
and Lily had a “sleep over” with us.
Friday 26th June
We took Lily back to her mother this morning and she was quite relieved. H and I then went to Tony’s
house to clean up. His life is a bit chaotic at the moment, but he has made an effort to keep the house
relatively tidy whilst working full time and looking after Lily.
I managed to book an appointment to go to the council tip for tomorrow afternoon.
Saturday 27th June
9am – Luke the plumber came to service our boiler – easy to keep social distance and Luke was very
efficient. I had a letter cancelling my appointment with the Parkinson’s specialist doctor – all due to Covid.
2pm – loaded the car up with rubbish from Sean’s and Tony’s gardens and took Guy to the tip – very well
organised to keep us safe but strange.
8pm – ASDA delivery – rather late but can’t complain.
Sunday 28th June
A cool blustery day. H and I sent some money to the boys to help them out; H called it a Corvid bonus.
Sean Fran Isla and Bob came over for – a lovely quite civilised time.
I spoke to James who has consultant in charge of his unit had been working five or six days per week. He
was exhausted and still waiting for his Covid antibodies test results after two weeks.
Monday 29th June
H in the hospital all day working in the podiatry cabin with Gloria, as a ‘work bubble’ - diFrancult to maintain
total social distancing but she still uses our garage as a decontamination unit, stripping off, showering and
then washing her clothes.
I spent the day pottering and trying to relax a little. Restlessness seems to be the pattern at the moment,
anxiety and a restless body partly due to Parkinson’s disease.
Tuesday 30th June
Lily came to see us first thing and we did our best to entertain. We took her and Rose to Burry Port Harbour
which proved to be a great success.
Reflecting on the past few months I’ve become streets and limited human activity around us I have begun
to see it as a time of partial renewal: working patterns are in the wind with different arrangement, shopping
being done more online, NHS working in totally different, H and I re-engaging with each other, eating and
exercising differently, Tony embarking on a different family life for himself and Lily…etc.
July
Wednesday 1st July
After a morning at home with Lily, Fran and Isla came over. We all went out for a walk, but Lily was difficult
stopping and complaining of having tired legs. Hitch was brilliant. At working around her. But is painfully
obvious that Lucy is trying and succeeded in getting attention. Things improved as the day wore on. It just
quite warm so the girls played outside whilst I made a meal for Fran, Sean, Isla, Tony, Lily, H and myself.
Quite an achievement for me! This pace of life is nothing compared to many, but for me it is hard. Tony and
Lily had another sleepover us.
Thursday 2nd July
Tony went off to work and H went to do some private work, whilst I got Warren to come and clean our
chimney and service the log burner. I took Rosie back to her mother, though she was reluctant to do so.
Jasmine, at 11am was still in bed when we arrived. I discussed Lily’s return to school with her and just
seemed not to be impressed with it. Having done some shopping and picked up some meds from the
surgery, I got back to do some gardening. Leicester is facing another lockdown due to a rise in corvid
cases. People seem to be relaxing too soon. The World Health Organisation warned of global outbreaks.
Will this ever end?
Friday 3rd July
Hitch did some private work this morning while I took the dog out and did some home admin. As soon as I
got home, the rain and wind started. It feels like January. I am suffering from painful joints which may be
gout flaring up or PD, so I took it relatively easily, restricted by my physical limitations.
Saturday 4th July
Ryan spent the morning in a cherry picker Ty Llwyn, with full PPE. He was furious that the operator – from
Bristol, blazingly refused to be COVID aware. It’s like a badge of honour for some to do that – the Trump-
Johnson machismo. H and I had a quiet day at home – much needed.
Sunday 5th July
We heard the very sad news of Maggie's passing. After living with a terminal diagnosis for three years. Age
59. Today I had my 59th birthday - reminders of mortality. Sean, Isla, Tony and Lily came over for lunch
and Ryan and Lisa are called up in the afternoon insisting on staying out in the garden. It was great to see
them all.
Monday 6th July
H in work so I took Lily to school. She was really excited. We had to fill in a medical risk assessment before
Lily could be admitted. She was one of five pupils in her class with two staff members of staff. 11:30 AM.
When called up for coffee and to deliver. Birthday gifts for H and myself. He related how tough things were
for Non who at 32 and live in. In supported independent accommodation could not understand why her
father and friends could not visit her. 2:15 PM I picked up Lily from school and she was on top form, having
had a brilliant day in school. As that was their only session between the 17th of March and the start of
September. Lily started to ride her bike on her.
Tuesday 7th July
H's birthday and we had Lily all day. We took her to Burry Port Harbour, walked along the beach and then
had a crepe from the van. After a lovely afternoon at home, Tony then joined us after work. H and I were
absolutely exhausted in the evening.
Wednesday 8th July
Lily was very jealous of Isla, and she even kicked H – very unpleasant. We took her up to Jasmine by
11:30am and Isla slept in the car. As the weather was so poor, we stayed at home – just as well, as Warren
came to repair the back plate of the log burner - £60. Sean and Tony joined us for supper – Fran was
working late.
Thursday 9th July
What an awful day. Wet, windy autumnal. H did some private work, so I popped to Morrisons for some
groceries. However, when I got home, I had a few episodes of “the shakes”, and smashed 3 bottles. And
then tipped a bucket of water. On the whole floor, I think the anxiety of shop in her affected my composure
and worsened my symptoms.
Friday 10th July
What a lovely day- dry and sunny after 10am and no work for H. We spent most of the afternoon in the
garden. H cutting the hedges and I cleaned up, thought needed to sit down a few times. Andy called with
Dave next door, who met him on their drive and called us over as well. Poor Andy has gone through an
unimaginable few year whilst Maggie’s health declined. He is a shell of who he was. Maggie’s funeral is
6pm on Wednesday in their home and 11am on Thursday at the crem. On the news there was a gent who
was recovering from COVID – he had intensive rehabilitation to assist him. Some have had devastating and
long-lasting effects.
Saturday 11th July
H and I spent the day on our own today – much needed. With the beautiful summer weather, I took Rose
for a walk and did some gardening. H went shopping. Ryan spent much of the day in the cherry picker
above Ty Llwyn.
Sunday 12th July
After a cool night, another beautiful day. I had to prepare my tablets, a fortnightly task of fiddly boredom,
though essential to ensure I have 282 tablets per day. Greenfield service on-line again. Lunch – Tony, Lily,
Sean, Fran and Isla.
Monday 13th July
We had Lily for the day – I looked after her in the morning, and as it was such an awful day, we did some
work activities at the table. Lily made a brilliant clay model of sonic the hedgehog – very realistic. H came
home at lunchtime and took over the childcare.
Tony and Lily stayed overnight with us – much easier for us to take Lily to her mother’s house. Tony told us
how busy work was – everyone wanting their cars serviced having left them for 4 months.
Tuesday 14th July
After a slowish start to the day we took Lily to Jane then I drove H to do some shopping and then we picked
up Isla. From the childminder at 12:30 PM. So, we spent the rest of the day looking after Isla.
Wednesday 15th July
Hitch worked at the hospital this morning. To make up for Monday afternoon, there are six covered patients
in hospitals, red zone and quite poorly. H naturally didn't go near. When she got home, she bakes cakes for
Alex, whose family would be attending tomorrow's funeral in house, we saw Alex, who was waiting for
Maggie's coffin to arrive. He is a shadow of a man, having lost so much weight and being uncle for Maggie
for the past 3 1/2 years.
Thursday 16th July
A sad day on our road. Maggie's funeral cortege assembled at 10:30 AM to depart for the crime. A few
neighbours joined me outside to bid a dignified farewell. Maggie would have been 60 on July 28th - sobering
thought.
H did 9 private patients and I eat completed her risk assessment for COVID-19. This seemed to show that
he teaches private work is managed by with the mitigations she has put in place.
Read this and Lisa came over at 12:00 PM Ish on their way to Pembury. Both and huge work pressure
magnified by the structures of the pandemic. This still dominates so much of our lives.
Friday 17th July
The Prime Minister has made a fool of himself yet again by claiming that England will be back to normal by
Christmas. Echoes of World War One. And the claim that ‘it would be over by Christmas”. And we know
how that turned out. Drakeford said it was a sunny view of things, understatement as global cases, death
spiral and Russian hackers are accused of trying to steal COVID-19 vaccine research from Oxford…how
low can man go?
Fran came over with Isla and Bob, it was sunny enough for us to play outdoors. Sean joined us for a fish
supper. Zoomed my siblings at 7pm – difficult whilst we had a houseful.
Saturday 18th July
A foul day; wet, breezy and misty. Tony and Lily called in. H went to town. I spoke to Jon who now has 2
weeks holiday at last. He expressed fears for the future of the NHS, so many of his colleagues are
exhausted by the stresses of COVID and the impact on “routine” work. Having completed my graveyard
survey of the village, I delivered a copy of the report – 1100 people’s graves surveys and analysed. He
expressed concerns at the additional safeguards needed before the chapel will be allowed to reopen.
Sunday 19th July
A beautiful day. I took the dog for a walk whilst H prepared lunch for us, Tony and Lily. The 3 of them went
out to the garden centre whilst I stayed at home, anxious at the possibility of crowds at the garden centre.
Monday 20th July
H went to PPH to work – bosses were away so probably more work was done. She is struggling a bit with
her bad back…I also developed a bad back during the day – possibly overdoing the garden.
So, I spent much of the afternoon collating burial records from 3 graveyards. One thing sticks out: the
number of burials between 1967-1875 comprised 8% of all burials between 1824 and 2019 (87 out of
1094). The school logbooks and local newspaper articles refer to that period as one where cholera and
measles were “raging” i.e., epidemics. The average age of death decreased from 43in 1867 to 22 in 1872 –
dramatic impact – redolent of 2020 though the health provision is so much better today.
Tuesday 21st July
AM – H had her first hairdo since March – hairdressers were togged up in PPE, limited numbers of
customers of put-up screens, insisted on customers also wearing masks
10.30 – Alex Pat and Dave joined us for socially distanced coffee on the decking – it is so tough for Alex
only having lost Maggie a fortnight ago. He seemed to appreciate the support of neighbours.
H picked Isla up from the childminder at 12.30pm – after her nap, we took her for a walk to the Fawr. She is
such a delight thought very busy, and able to do “roly-polies” = supple
Wednesday 22nd July
H did some private work. I went to Asda full PPE’d. Gilbert came over for socially distance coffee are
decking he is worried about Dafydd’s children who are living with their mother they had been told they were
moving to Surrey the concern is for there will be an emotional abuse and certainty magnified by lockdown.
Dr. McLoughlin from Parkinson's treatment centre phoned in place of a face-to-face appointment. he
obviously had a Bank of triage questions to ask and two ascertain whether or not I needed intervention.
In the afternoon H and I took Sean to buy a new car privately - Audi S3 from a couple who are relocating to
Provence - fed up with this country and want to need better climate as he had stage four prostate cancer. A
lovely car good price for this we have travelled since 14th of March - remarkable how many vehicles were
about almost “normal”.
Thursday 23rd July
A very wet day - typical welsh summer. H shopped in B&Q for plants and remarked on how strict the staff
were - reassuring. I took the dog for a walk before the ring came. We then picked up Lily. Tony and Lily
stayed the night.
Friday 24th July
AM - Sean and I stayed up until gone 2am “putting the world to night” – Tony had a heart to heart about his
struggles since he and Jasmine split up worsened/magnified by COVID lockdown - double the anxiety.
Saturday 25th July
A lazy start for us all and branch for seven they all left at about 11:30 AM. the rest of the day hitch and I
pottered and then ash and Ivan came over for afternoon tea – a pleasant quite relaxing time.
Sunday 26th July
Watch the Greenfield service on YouTube - a reassuring message about the wedding at Cana. However, it
is not the same without personal fellowship and singing. H called up to see Mary and Cyril.
Monday 27th July
H in work. as it was pouring down with rain I spent the day completing my revisions of the graveyard
survey.
Tuesday 28th July
H and I went to Carmarthen to ask Fraser glaze for a quart to put up glass on our lower patio.
Wednesday 29th July
H had private work, so I picked Lily up at about 11. she was thrilled to see me Jas told me that she is
struggling because her car is off the road. Sean brought Isla up as well. Unfortunately, Lily was quite
difficult - shouted at H. Sean told her to stop but that raised the stakes - not really helpful. I have difficulty
with conflict - struggled with all that was going on.
Tony came to stay with us and Lily. once Lily had gone to bed Tony told us that he had had a bad
weekend, spending most of the time on his own - a come down after the company of Friday evening. he
and Lily I've got a bug road ahead.
Thursday 30th July
Very warm - the WWT have worked hard to comply with COVID guidance as we had found out last Friday
with Isla. We had to pre-book our places, follow a one-way system around and naturally kept our distance
from other people.
Whilst we are scrupulous with social distancing, we cannot guarantee that others will be like-minded. So,
the thought is always there about the risk of catching the virus. Tony and Lily stayed with us.
Friday 31st July
Sweltering morning more than 25 degrees Celsius. we took Lily to bury port harbour. Rose had a really
good run around whilst Lily got soaked then we went on a walk to the Fawr. Got back for lunch and set up
the paddling pool. Sean, Fran and Isla came up. Lily is quite jealous of Isla, so I tried to keep her occupied.
We all went up to the park which had reopened since lockdown. From about 4pm onwards, the mist
descended, and it soon turned to rain.
Apparently, there was mayhem at the beaches as it seemed all those who would have gone abroad, sought
sea and sand near at home. I took Lily home to Tony and 5.30pm
August
Saturday 1st August
A day of pottering about and a chance for us to catch our breath.
Sunday 2nd August
10:00 AM morning service - David spoke really well. Sean and Isla came over. Fran was meeting her
friends for lunch. We all walked up to the park for Isla to play.
Monday 3rd August
H in work all day. I did some more data analysis of the graves survey. Took Rose for a long walk and also
cleaned the house. I had quite a bad chest pain for most of the afternoon had to take paracetamol and sit
down.
Tuesday 4th August
H and I went shopping to ask for an estimate for glass. It turns out that the owner is an ex-pupil. He will pop
out next week to survey our job. H Picked Isla app from Amy's at 12:30. And as the weather was appalling,
we stayed in. Cath Facetime’d from Uncle Jim’s. He told me (aged 90) that his ambition was to get to 100,
marry rich widow, have children and settle down!!
Wednesday 5th August
H worked all morning. The Musketeers came over for coffee and we decided to go ahead with the village
Remembrance service – pre-recorded and broadcast on YouTube.
PM – Tony, Lily and Lucy came over to pick up H’s car in readiness for tomorrow. Lucy is a nice girl who
handles Lily well, but I hope Tony knows what he is doing as she also has many issues.
The new is dominated by the horrific explosion that has destroyed large parts of Beirut – as if the Lebanese
haven’t had enough to deal with.
Thursday 6th August
Sean dropped Isla off at 8am and went to work. We took her to town to the outdoor market. As it was my
first trip to town since the start of lockdown, it was strange to see pavement markings and signage warning
of the 2m rule. Very few people wore masks. We had coffee and after lunch we took Isla and Rose to Burry
Port harbour. Although misty and muggy, there were many people around, mostly young families. It seems
as if staycations have reached Burry Port.
Fran messaged at 5pm to say that she and Sean were working late, so H took Isla down to theirs, coming
back home by 6.30pm. H commented on how stressed Sean and Fran were in work – exceptionally busy
as various back logs are cleared.
Tony and Lily went to Exmoor Zoo today – an excellent father-daughter day.
Friday 7th August
H Picked up Lily brought her to ours for a few hours, before taking her, reluctantly, to Jane's by 11:00 AM.
Lily told us all about yesterday and how much she had really enjoyed it. After a muggy start, the Sun began
to burn off the clouds. In the Southeast, it is possible that they have temperatures of more than 36 degrees
Celsius, too hot for me.
Saturday 8th August
We decided to have a BBQ this afternoon so spent most of the day preparing for: Sean, Fran, Isla, Jocy,
Ashley, Yasmin, Josh and us. The weather was ideal; BBQ seemed to go down well – but what a tiring day.
Sunday 9th August
Just H and me for most of the day. Ryan and Lisa came over for a few hours in the afternoon. They told us
that small holdings like theirs are going up in value as people in English cities are eager to move to the
Welsh countryside - perceptions about COVID safety. Ryan told us about the new health and safety
arrangements in work.
Monday 10th August
H in work. I took Rose for a long walk before the storm began at 11:00 AM - continuing on until 5:00 PM.
Horrific lighting in and torrential rain. Electricity went off a few times and our broadband went off until
Tuesday morning. James and Gilbert were due to call in in the afternoon, however, Gilbert was unwell, so
we decided to postpone until he is better, and weather improved.
Tuesday 11th August
A very warm sticky day. H picked up Lily first thing and we all went to Burry Port Harbour. Walked along the
seashore and the RNLI was launched due to someone being stranded by the incoming tide. After lunch at
home, we set up the new paddling pool and Lowri came over to play with Lily. They got on really well
together. As a member of Chapel, I was sent a copy of the COVID rules showing what needs to be done
prior to the Chapel reopening. They are restrictive and might be unmanageable in our little Chapel, nothing
else in its 200-year history has closed the Chapel for so long.
Tony and Lily stayed the night.
Wednesday 12th August
Once H and Tony had gone to work, Lily told me that she wanted to go picking litter on the beach so. In the
heat of the morning - 26 degrees - we spent about an hour picking up enough litter to fill one black bin bag.
It is soul destroying to see what people drop on the sand and heart breaking. That lazy should want to
clean up after others. H took Lily down to Tony after supper. We had a horrific thunderstorm in the night
which caused the power to go off for a while. A hot tropical night followed.
Thursday 13th August
H had pre-arranged to have lunch with Yasmin and Katy in the hotel. She remarked on how well organised
the staff were for social distancing, and she felt quite safe.
On her return we drove off to beach to meet with Sean, Fran and Isla at the cottage – lovely.
Sean and I took the dogs for a walk and then we had a tasty BBQ in the evening. They are such a good
company and very compassionate when talking about Lily and Tony. However, Sean is very
uncompromising about Jane.
Friday 14th August
H got up at 6am with Isla to give Sean and Fran a lie in. During the day, we went down to the beach, and
we noted that a lot of people had marked the sand around their family’s group - sensible. We all went for
supper in a restaurant - beautiful meal and very well organised. We took Isla back whilst Sean and Fran
went for a walk on the promenade. A group of teenagers threw a ball at them, believing them to be English.
Saturday 15th August
Unfortunately, the weather worsened, so we headed off to a nearby town for a morning coffee. And then
back to the cottage for lunch and then home, stopping at the co-op for some supplies.
Sunday 16th August
A chance to catch our breath after yet another hectic week. No one else for lunch, a rarity. Aled Jones
preached from Greenfield via YouTube, an excellent take - humorous and profound.
Monday 17th August
Our 35th anniversary. H in work all day. I took Rose out with her new muzzle on. She did not like it but had
no choice. Andy came over for coffee struggling with his grief. In the evening we heard that Jim Jones was
very unwell.
Tuesday 18th August
Lily with us from 8:30 AM onwards in the morning. H and I took her blackberry picking along the fawr -
picked about 2lbs worth. H picked up Isla at 12:30 PM. Lily's so obviously jealous. Lowri came to play with
Lily and it was dry and sunny enough for them to be outdoors. There are a few incidents when Lily was
demanding even of Lowri, who is such a quiet, sweet girl. Fran picked up Isla at 5:00 PM. Tony and Lily
stayed with us. H and I spoke at length of our concerns about Lily. Tony is doing his level best.
Wednesday 19th August
What a dreadful morning poured with rain. H and Tony went off to work, leaving Lily with me. She was
great. I took her to Jane’s by 11:00 AM who was still in bed when we called in. Not a good example to set.
After H came home, I took Rose for a walk.
Thursday 20th August
Pondered a lot on the nature of the past few months 2020. Having already been such a uniquely diFrancult
year, COVID-19 I see as the Great Revealer. Amongst other things, it is highlighted differences between –
- the old and the young in terms of their resilience to the pandemic
- the rich and the poor, with poorer parts of the country suffering worst
- those countries with proactive and those with laissez faire governments
It was also highlighted and laid bare the ineptitude of our government and its duplicity. The importance of a
truly National Health Service and need for a national care service, humanity's frailty.
Friday 21st August
Spoke to Gilbert at length who told me he had been threatened. No direct threat. But abusive an aggressive
language.
Saturday 22nd August
Dry enough for me to potter in the garden whilst H went shopping. We heard more local places were
reopening, yet more normality returning to village life.
Sunday 23rd August
Sean, Isla, Tony, Lucy and Lily came over for lunch. Lucy is such a nice girl. Hope Tony knows what he's
doing. After they all went, we popped to Andy's for a cuppa.
Monday 24th August
H in work. I took Rose out and did a bit of shopping when called over in the afternoon to talk about his
concerns for his grandchildren. We met up with Lily and Tony to take advantage of the final week of the
“eat out to help out scheme”. Fair play quite a good meal and drinks for the four of us - it only came to £30.
I felt uncomfortable as there were so many people and not very much social distance in, despite the best
efforts of staff. I didn't have a good day, felt quite queasy and lightheaded – soldiered on.
Tuesday 25th August
A foul day. Storm Francis rolled in with 70 mile per hour winds. Isla was with us all days. We began by
taking her to Tesco - at least it's a change of scenery so she could run around. I was exhausted all day,
maybe weather related.
Wednesday 26th August
H had a full morning of private work, so I took the dog out and pottered around at home.
Thursday 27th August
A day off for the both of us we met up with Ryan for lunch. What a lovely lunch with COVID-19 precautions
much in evidence (track and trace social distancing, one way system, ordering and paying for food and
drink via an app. H and I wanted to go around Leekes after lunch. However, the road was closed to the
COVID restrictions and Leekes had very restricted opening hours - strange.
Friday 28th August
H went to pick Lily up by 11:00 AM from Jane. Lily and Tony slept overnight with us, Lily having devised
and performed a puppet show for us.
Saturday 29th August
We popped over to help Sean and Fran after lunch. I helped Sean to locate a wasp’s nest. It was in the
ceiling void above their en-suite bathroom and was quite intrusive.
Sunday 30th August
We had planned a quiet day, but Sean, Bob, Isla, Tony, and Lily all came over for lunch. Lovely to see them
all, but a busy time. They all left about 5:00 PM.
Monday 31st August
H was up in the night with diarrhoea and sickness. Was it something she ate or was it a bug? She had a
quiet day. I spent the day in the garden as the weather was so nice - managed to get a lot of cleaning done.
Took Rose out and found some more fly tipped rubbish.
September
Tuesday 1st September
A beautiful day, so H and I took Isla to the beach, so much litter around, the high tides have been washed
up so much. We had coffee and I asked about booking a meal for the ninth, however, they are full already.
It seems strange to see the cafes – all Perspex cubicles, and staff in visors, masks and gloves. After lunch
we walked with Isla and Rose to the park. Isla really enjoyed herself. On the way back we bumped into five
different people whom we knew to being Bethan and Haydes who told us that Jim had improved but was
still very poorly in ICU. Fran collected Isla at 5:30 PM and we just put our feet up. H still struggling with her
stomach.
Wednesday 2nd September
H went to do private work much better, so perhaps it is IBS that she has had. I had breakfast with the
Musketeers beautiful food properly cooked. A very showery day and so glad not to be in school at the
moment thinking on the complexities of COVID safety and reintegrating pupils after six months out of
education.
COVID CONTEMPLATIONS – REVELATION & RENEWAL
“Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that
breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from
that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? No man is an island, entire of itself; every
man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”
‘MEDITATION XVII – Devotions upon Emergent Occasions’, James Donne, 1623
The impact of the 2020 global pandemic has been profound. It has insinuated its way into so many aspects
of people’s lives, exposing frailties, constricting freedom and altering behaviour in a way that would have
been unimaginable at the start of the year. Its effects have been felt across the globe, with people from all
strata of society being infected by the virus – at the time of writing, US President Trump is the most recent,
notable victim – and being affected in fundamental ways. Nearly 400 years after James Donne suffered
from a life-threatening disease and wrote his doleful and meditative “Devotions”, it is clear that the current
pandemic has caused many to cast their eyes skywards, their minds inwards, and to heed the ringing of
“any bell”. It has fractured society, created uncertainty and insularity, and enhanced a yearning that people
have to be “a part of the main”. As I outline below, this has been my own experience of living through the
COVID-19 pandemic during the past seven months.
Having been raised in a large, gregarious family, being married with three children, and having worked in
education for thirty years, I have always been sustained by being “a piece of the continent”, by interaction
with others. The stability of this ‘continent’ had seemed to be relatively immoveable during the first five
decades of my life, as I seemed to glide gratefully, if not graciously, through each of life’s transitions. Then,
it’s very foundations were rocked irrevocably by a series of momentous, personal events which occurred in
2008: my father’s diagnosis with Alzheimer’s Disease; our eldest son’s graduation from Swansea University
and his subsequent departure from home; celebration of my wife’s 50th birthday; and, in my role as a
headteacher, overseeing the merger of two secondary schools & opening of a £38million brand new, 1500
place school building. Preoccupied with the enormity of, and responsibility for the latter, I suffered severe
heart failure, leading to lengthy hospitalisation and rehabilitation, all of which I began to record in my own
personal diary.
In the ensuing 12 years, I have continued to use my diary in order to capture the ebb and flow of my own
life’s experiences: diagnosis with further life-threatening and life-changing diseases; enforced early
retirement through ill-health; family weddings; the addition of two beautiful granddaughters; the loss of
close family members and friends; and our son’s estrangement from his partner and his subsequent
breakdown. The emergence of this year’s pandemic has merely added more layers of poignancy and
potency to my diary entries.
Whilst the rest of the world was trying to make sense of the emergence of a previously unknown virus at
the end of 2019, our own lives were dominated by the dislocation, insecurity, uncertainty and impotence
caused by family breakdown. On one fateful December day, our six-year-old granddaughter lost all that she
had enjoyed in terms of childhood security and stability when our son left his partner of 16 years, having
discovered that she had been unfaithful. The consequences were deep and wide: full of self-destructive
notions, our son had a breakdown and experienced the trauma of post-relationship grief; he moved back
into our home for two months and had to be signed off work for a month; his ex-partner continued to occupy
their family home until she was allocated a rental property on Valentine’s Day; our granddaughter was in
danger of becoming a custodial commodity and emotional bargaining chip. However, with our support, and
deploying his inherited skills of tact and diplomacy, our son and his ex-partner agreed on shared custody
for our granddaughter, an arrangement which has endured. Christmas saw a veneer of seasonal good will
and apparent bonhomie, emotions ran high and low, ranging from despondency to exaggerated elation.
Our energies were sapped by efforts to ensure a semblance of stability for all, not least for the rest of our
family; my wife and I were the Coriolis, creating an ‘eye of the storm’ where others could feel ‘safe’ and
‘normal’. Through all of this, it helped me to continue to use my diary to record my experiences of life’s
vicissitudes.
Unsurprisingly and with everything else that we faced as a family, the very first mention of the emergent
pandemic in my diary was not until 2nd March, when I commented, “The news is dominated by coronavirus
– a worrying time for the world. I just hope that we are all prepared, physically and spiritually”. Within a few
days, I commented that “this is an unreal world”, as I became aware of a growing death rate from the virus.
By the middle of the month, I had begun to express a growing sense of foreboding, “My prayer is for
protection for all family members, strength for those treating virus sufferers, and inner peace for us all. God
help us all!”. By the end of the month, it had become clear that this was a global pandemic, as confirmed by
the following account: “1/3 of the world’s population is under lockdown, and death rates continue to rise
dramatically”.
My diary is at times haphazard, contradictory, raw and partly illegible due to the progression of Parkinson’s
Disease. So, in order to make sense of the ensuing, personal reflections on the pandemic, I have
summarised my experiences thematically, thus:
THE INNER LIFE – EMOTIONS: my own psychological responses ranged from fear of the disease itself
and its virulence (7th May – “Fear is the predominant emotion in many aspects of life”), anxiety about its
spread (25th May – “I feel concerned that so many people are congregating at beaches and parks etc – this
could speed up our drift toward a second wave”), and even restlessness (29th June – “Restlessness seems
to be the pattern at the moment, anxiety and a restless body”). I expressed guilt at my own lack of
scrupulousness in obeying ‘lockdown’ rules (6th May - “feeling guilty for doing what would have been normal
only a few weeks ago”), a guilt which continues throughout this period. I also wrote about how ‘lockdown’
played havoc with my sense of time, space and perceptions of the natural world. I commented on its impact
on other people around me who had been suffering from mental health problems including my son, his ex-
partner, and a close family friend. Being isolated from family, friends and the wider world simply magnified
their wretched condition at a time of restricted access to support and intervention services; problems grew
in inverse proportion to the support they needed, experiences replicated throughout society.
By contrast, I also occasionally expressed some more positive emotional responses, such as the
experience of the weekly ‘Clap for Carers’ (30th April – “Local policewoman drove slowly down the road with
blues & twos – her children came out to see her, & everyone cheered. Really heartfelt”). This enabled a
modicum of balance to be restored, cheering the soul, inspiring hope and creating opportunities to
reconnect with other people after weeks of isolation.
THE INNER LIFE – SPIRITUALITY: the experience of the pandemic has challenged, yet reinforced my
personal faith in, and reliance on, God. It has also enabled me to appreciate more meaningfully the phrase
that ‘eternity has been set in the human heart’ (Ecclesiastes 3:11), and that I should not be totally reliant on
the formalities of regular chapel attendance. However, there have been individual and collective challenges
in not being able to meet with fellow believers, with the cancellation of all chapel activities between 22 nd
March and 20th September. On-line services were broadcast, and being no substitute for fellowship, they
exacerbated a sense of spiritual isolation. In August, I was sent a copy of the Welsh government’s COVID-
19 rules for places of worship, which exemplified how the material and legal worlds had intruded even
further into the spiritual realm. In my diary, I commented that the rules were, “restrictive & might be
unmanageable in our little chapel. Nothing else in its 200-year history has closed the chapel for so long”.
When we reopened for one Sunday in September, I commented that this was “a big day – Capel Rehoboth
re-opened after 6 months of closure – unheard of in the 200 years of its history: 13 of us, all wearing
masks, no hymns, separation by hazard tapes, etc.”. Freedom of collective worship and expression had
been curtailed dramatically. With reimposition of local ‘lockdown’ rules, we have been unable to hold further
services since then, a further delay to the restoration of a world of familiarity.
This was indicative of a paradigm shift, and it led me to a growing appreciation of what had once been, of
the freedoms I had taken for granted and had enjoyed for so long.
THE EXTERNAL WORLD – RELATIONSHIPS: a longing for a resumption of ‘normal’ patterns in my
spiritual life is matched in my diary by expressions of the depths of longing to be with family members,
especially children and grandchildren, and the lack of face-to-face, ‘real’ physical interaction, in contrast to
virtual contact via Zoom, FaceTime et al. I detail my frustrations at being unavailable to assist with childcare
for family members. I also remark on the limitations placed on my social life, including closure of our village
chapel and pubs, lack of contact with friends, and suspension of all Heritage Society activities.
My first, post-lockdown social event with those outside our family circle occurred on 3rd June, when I hosted
a socially distanced coffee morning with three friends in our sunroom. Logistically challenging, I sanitised
everything prior to arrival of my guests and on their departure; the relief at being able to resume direct
social interaction contrasted with palpable COVID-anxiety. In a similar vein, my wife had lunch on 13th
August with some friends at a local hotel (“she remarked on how well organised the staff were for social
distancing, & she felt quite safe”). It was good for us both to feel that we were no longer living in splendid
social isolation, and for us to renew friendships that had been strained by such lengthy, physical
separation.
Confident that we could go away from home safely for the first time since 2019, we took a few days’ break
at a cottage in Broadhaven in mid-August, about which I remarked on: “a very clean beach, and we noted
that a lot of people had marked a line in the sand around their family groups – sensible”. We sensed that
people had begun to adapt to regulatory rigidity in creative ways. However, there was clear resentment felt
by local people towards visitors, amid fears that holidaymakers would spread the virus; on one balmy,
Broadhaven evening, our youngest son and his wife went for a walk along the beach, “A group of teenagers
threw a ball at them, believing them to be English! Sean chastised them” for being so hostile and
judgmental. Such tension between residents and visitors has been in evidence throughout the period, a
form of sociopathy born out of resentment, and fear of safety being compromised. It might also have been
driven by a growth in demand from English urban dwellers to buy properties in Wales. On 9 th August, I
commented that our eldest son had informed us that his small holding was increasing in value as people in
English cities were eager to move to the Welsh countryside, driven by perceptions of COVID safety.
A few weeks after our visit to Broadhaven, we felt sufficiently emboldened to venture in to Llanelli town and
have a meal out with our son and granddaughter, “to take advantage of the final week of the “Eat Out to
Help Out” scheme….I felt uncomfortable as there were so many people dining, and not much social
distancing despite the best efforts of staff”. At another assignation, on 9th September, we had lunch with two
of my siblings & their partners, “Lovely food & the hotel staff worked hard to implement COVID-proofing. It
was very warm in the restaurant & I began to feel a dry cough coming on – I stifled it as hard as I could in
order to maintain decorum! (My sister) refused an invitation for them all to come back to our place for a
socially distanced cuppa – she is rigorous in her approach & commented on the lack of mask wearing in
Wales”. She expressed what many of us felt, that the rules were being relaxed too swiftly, and with little
sense of social responsibility. In fact, her reservations were vindicated within a month as, “it was
announced that Llanelli is going into local lockdown from 6pm tomorrow (26 th September). Impact: H. (my
wife) will have to cancel her private patients; (our sons) will need to consider work implications; childcare
presents challenges”. It felt as if we were regressing and returning to the socially impoverished experience
of the initial lockdown, and the risks of a resurgent pandemic.
THE EXTERNAL WORLD – INTERACTING WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD: even though we experienced
some hardships resulting from the pandemic, these were insignificant in relation to those of others,
especially of people who had contracted the virus. The media gave extensive coverage of the course of the
virus and its impact on its victims.
On 29th April, I commented that “The pandemic has produced so much good, a reassessment of what is
valuable in life; however, it has robbed people throughout the world of the basic right to be present at life’s
rites of passage, from birth to death, from babies being delivered in virtual isolation, to cancelled wedding
ceremonies, to frozen house sales, to death in a ward without family or friends being present”. Apart from a
few ‘scares’, we knew no one who had contracted the virus, yet we were aware of its all-consuming impact
on the wider world thanks to the ever-present media.
My diary entries express a degree of thankfulness and relief that my own daily routines have continued,
albeit with adjustments. Medical appointments are conducted virtually and less frequently, creating
personal uncertainty about the monitoring of my own health problems. Despite my own medical history, I
have not attended any appointments since 9th January, and, apart from my annual flu vaccination, there is
little prospect of me doing so for the foreseeable future.
Retail habits have also changed radically, with weekly home grocery deliveries reducing the frequency of
shopping trips and our reliance on cars. Initially, people panicked, fearing that stocks of everyday items
would be exhausted rapidly and not replenished, which led to initial shortages of toilet paper, flour, tinned
goods and similar items. Whilst seen in hindsight as an irrational response to the pandemic, this was driven
by an impulse to ‘do something’, a basic survival instinct.
On the rare occasions when we have ventured out shopping, we have had to become accustomed to
queuing, mask wearing, use of sanitisers, maintaining social distance from others, and less frequent use of
cash. My first such post-lockdown solo shopping trip took place on 1st June, where I experienced “an air of
apprehension amongst staff & customers – something I have never experienced before in such an
innocuous place”. A few months later, my wife and I made our first joint shopping expedition to Llanelli town
centre, where “it was strange to see pavement markings & signage warning of the 2m rule. Very few people
wore masks”.
The trend towards on-line retail habits has led to a growth in attempted internet and phone scams by
hustlers claiming to represent banks, utility suppliers and on-line retailers. We have had frequent such
phone calls and emails which shows that criminals are undeterred by the pandemic and are even
emboldened by it.
In terms of other recreational activities, I regret the absence of televised sport especially of scheduled
rugby fixtures, and disruption to the Six Nations Championship and Pro-14 competition. Whilst these have
since resumed, there are significant restrictions for spectators and players that limit the variety, breadth and
even character of sports.
Limited access to visitor attractions has also been felt by us. As family members of the Wildfowl and
Wetlands Trust, we, along with our granddaughters, had frequented the WWT centre. Like other visitor
attractions, it closed its doors to the public for four months, and we were unable to return until 24th July,
“staff worked hard to be COVID compliant – we had to pre-book our places, follow a one-way system
around, & keep distance from others”. The café and internal play areas remained closed, though our
appreciation of the centre and its conservation work is undiminished. Late September saw the imposition of
a ‘local lockdown’ in the Llanelli area, and, as we live outside the ‘red zone’ we have been prohibited from
visiting Penclacwydd.
THE EXTERNAL WORLD – OTHER PEOPLE’S RESPONSES: through my diary, I express appreciation
for the sacrifices being made by those putting themselves at risk to keep life going, health workers,
including my wife and one of my siblings; other emergency service employees; postal, retail and logistics
workers; farmers; Council and utility company employees, etc.
This is in stark contrast to my frustration at people’s lack of compliance with the rules, particularly during
warm weather; and the inconsiderate actions of a minority for fly tipping on, and speeding along our country
lanes, both of which increased dramatically during this period. At times, I blame the reckless actions of a
minority for preventing me from going out, especially to visit family members, as in this entry from the end
of July: “Whilst we are scrupulous with social distancing, we cannot guarantee that others will be like-
minded. So, the thought is always there about the risk of catching the virus”. Throughout, though, there is a
tension between criticism of others, and my own propensity to ‘bend’ the rules to enable me to meet with
family members. Again, there is a sense of guilt at acting hypocritically.
DAILY LIFE – WORK: the pandemic has wrought fundamental changes in the world of work. At the end of
April, I comment on our quieter lives, not least as a result of my wife being enabled to work from home in
order to protect me; as a clinician, unable to see patients, she was asked to manufacture face masks for
colleagues and to undertake telephone triages of patients. On 22nd June, she returned “…to work in the
hospital today. She was isolated in the cabin but met her colleagues for coffee and lunch – socially
distanced. Her boss had been absent since last Tuesday as their son had been in the company of a COVID
patient unknowingly – quite worrying. On her return home, H parked in the garage, stripped off and
showered immediately”. Our integral garage has thus become her decontamination room, minimising any
potential COVID risk, and her clinical work has resumed with additional hygiene measures in place. Our
eldest son, a consultant civil engineer, and his partner, a finance officer working in the third sector, were
required to work from home for the initial lockdown period and have both since worked partly office-based
and partly at home. Our middle son, a senior vehicle technician, was on the government furlough scheme
until 1st June; this helped him to spend more time with his daughter and to adjust to life as a single parent.
Our youngest son, an estate agent, and his wife, a veterinary nurse, were also placed on furlough. He
returned to a combination of home and office-based work from 1st June, and she resumed work in mid-July,
subsequently embarking on a post-graduate teacher training course which has presented technological and
logistical challenges for her. One of my brothers, a consultant geriatrician in Bedford, has spoken with
some passion about his fears for colleagues, patients and the NHS as a whole. He has described how
colleagues have been deeply affected by working through the pandemic, suffering sleeplessness,
emotional disturbance and malaise. On 18th July, he “…. expressed fears for the future of the NHS: so
many of his colleagues are exhausted by the stresses of COVID & the impact on ‘routine’ work.”
DAILY LIFE – EDUCATION: our granddaughter’s school closed on 19th March, and she was home-
schooled. Work was set by her teachers on-line, and we tried our best to support, giving her some structure
and educational input, though she missed out on socialising with her friends, and the stimulation of a school
setting. She, along with only 1/5 of her classmates, returned on 6th July for a ‘keep in touch’ day, “I took Lily
to school. She was excited. We had to fill in a medical and risk assessment before Lily could be admitted.
She was one of 5 pupils in her class with 2 members of staff”. She had a phased return to school beginning
on 4th September, where she told me “She was mostly excited but a bit nervous”. The responsibility of
supporting a six-year-old, for whom the pandemic coincided with the aftermath of her parents’ separation,
weighs heavily. With a degree of selfishness, I commented at the beginning of the new term, “I’m so glad
not to be in school at the moment – thinking on the complexities of COVID safety, & reintegrating pupils
after 6 months out of education”. Apart from enforced school closures, COVID scares and outbreaks, and
developmental and structural implications of pupil reintegration, there has been the fiasco of the summer
external examination series, and the unseemly sight of undergraduates being quarantined in university
accommodation. I fear for this whole generation of children.
DAILY LIFE – THE ENVIRONMENT: initially, one of the beneficiaries of lockdown has been the natural
world, which features heavily in my diary entries. I comment on the clarity and volume of birdsong, vibrancy
of wildflowers, and prevalence of wildlife, such as the sighting of wild deer in our village for the first time in
decades. The atmosphere is clearer, with fewer visible vapour trails overhead as air travel has diminished;
consequently, sunsets seem to be more colourful and vibrant. Apart from an occasional speeding motorist
– racing away from, or to, what? – roads are quieter and traffic volume has reduced dramatically. As our
lives have become more enclosed and regulated, we have found freedom in appreciating nature, and in
‘growing our own’ in our small garden.
DAILY LIFE – GOVERNANCE – the pandemic has enabled governments everywhere to intrude on
people’s daily lives in an unprecedented manner, from restricting freedom of movement, worship,
expression, commerce, enjoyment, and fulfilment. As government has become more intrusive, so there has
been exposure of many politicians’ arrogance, lack of self-awareness and ineptitude, in the face of such an
all-consuming health crisis. We have seen the exposure of President Trump’s warped world view, which
has seemed to be amplified by his recent diagnosis with COVID, giving the lie to James Donne’s contention
that, “No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by it.” Trump has given greater
credence to conspiracy theories about the origins of the ‘China virus’, has blatantly ignored scientific
advice, and has gladly aligned himself with white supremacists as the Black Lives Matter protests emerged.
He is not alone in showing such arrogance and lack of self-awareness. Our own government has been
guilty of favouring the wealthy by allowing gardeners and cleaners to work whilst forbidding family visits;
allowing grouse shooting but forbidding spectator sports; resuming horse racing and snooker whilst
continuing to forbid church services; condoning lockdown breaches committed by the PM’s advisor,
Cummings, a cabinet minister, Jenrick, and other prominent politicians. Johnson’s press conferences and
addresses to the nation have been confusing, contradictory, laden with mischievous intent to drive wedges
between all four nations of the UK and endeavouring to defend the indefensible. On 3rd July, I commented
that Johnson’s press conference on that day was “typical of the new populism: reductionist, patronising
language & sneering inflections; attempts to cause confusion & division, especially in the appalling way
Johnson has treated the devolved administrations (he has not behaved as PM of the whole U.K.); total
rejection of journalists’ questions (I don’t think he answered a single one); attempting to focus on &
haircuts (not bread & circuses as the Caesars did); those closest to him betraying a sense of untouchable
entitlement (his father’s trip to Greece, & his closest advisor’s trip to Durham); & total lack of humility when
confronted with his failings. It does not bode well for the battle against COVID, nor for the long haul until the
next election”. The comparisons with previous government’s responses to global crises have also featured
in my diary, where, on 17th July, I wrote, “The PM has made a fool of himself yet again by claiming that
England will be back to normal by Christmas – echoes of WW1 and the claim that ‘it’ll all be over by
Christmas’, and we know how that turned out. Drakeford said it was a ‘sunny’ view of things –
understatement as global cases increase, deaths spiral, & Russian hackers are accused of trying to steal
COVID-19 vaccine research from Oxon. – how low can man go?!”
So, in the panorama of life, each of the phases of this pandemic have been catalysts for change. The first
distinct phase was the imposition of lockdown which led to a sudden interruption to the flow of ‘normal’ life,
causing “becalmed streets and limited human activity around us” as I commented in June. As such, it was
“a time of partial renewal & evolution: working patterns renewing with different arrangements; shopping
being done more on-line; NHS working in totally different ways; H & I re-engaging with each other; eating &
exercising differently; Tony embarking on a different family life for himself and Lily…. etc.”. Although I wrote
that “Life is beginning to return to a form of normality”, there was a sense of something seismic happening,
of an “undercurrent of COVID and the unspoken fear of a second pandemic, especially in the light of the
Black Lives Matters protests, & the unseemly haste in England to relax the lockdown”. I commented that,
“This is going to have very long-lasting consequences for our society”, even as we entered a second, more
dangerous phase of relaxed regulations in the absence of a vaccine and effective testing regime.
By late August, I “Pondered a lot on the nature of the past few months, 2020 having already been such a
uniquely difficult year. COVID-19 I see as the Great Revealer, amongst other things. It has highlighted
differences between:
- Old and young, in terms of their resilience to the pandemic.
- Rich and poor, with poorer parts of the country suffering worst.
- Those countries with proactive & those with laissez-faire governments.
It has also highlighted and laid bare the ineptitude of our government & its duplicity; the importance of a
truly national health service; the need for a national care service; humanity’s frailty”.
At the time of writing, I believe that we are entering a more dangerous, third phase of the pandemic, with a
resurgence in the virus, and a dramatic increase in deaths and hospital admissions. Hapless politicians flail
around helplessly, arguing interminably around the latest cliched ‘circuit breaker’ or ‘world beating’ scheme
for COVID testing, all whilst ‘following the Science’. Arguments rage about the impact on education and the
economy, on whether we should be seeking ‘herd immunity’, and on the timescale for release of any
credible vaccine. Meanwhile, an increasing number of people catch the virus, suffer painful and some long -
term symptoms, seek whatever medical help is available, and sadly, many more die from COVID.
In the midst of this social and political turmoil, individual behaviour swings between anxiety, denial,
insecurity, ignorance, fear, resignation, escapism, hope, self-sacrifice, altruism and empathy. In other
words, the essence of humanity remains unchanged, as described by James Donne in 1623, “Any man's
death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the
bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though
we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us
the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure,
and scarce any man hath enough of it.”