Corona Diaries

Clara

“Lockdown is causing us to miss milestones in people’s lives”

Background Information

Female, Aged 55-64, Housewife, Swansea, White, Married with three children, Heterosexual.

April 2020

Week 3 of lockdown. Life is so slow right now. Not that it was very fast before but boy oh boy feel like we

are standing still. Was never big on the social side of things, a bit of a homebird, never strayed far from

home but being told we HAVE to stay at home until further notice just makes me restless, want to go out

now. Want to go to the beach, which is 5 minutes down the road, want to go into the countryside which is

about half an hour away. Want to do all the things which I’ve never really been bothered about before,

guess the beautiful things and places that are only around the corner from home, I’ve been taking for

granted, we’ve been taking for granted.

Coronavirus has become a scary word. The thought of it sends shivers down my spine. My husband is in

his 70s, my so is only 14, well, 14 ½ as he would say, and I feel I have to protect them. Hubby has to stay

in on the recommendation of the government due to his age, I want him to stay in due to the fact he had a

heart attack several years back and has suffered from pneumonia, twice! He is at risk. My son, although fit

and healthy, is still at risk as this virus has no age limit, not interested in what skin colour you are or where

you live or what religion you are, it doesn’t care. I fear for my son on the same level as I fear for my hubb y.

Myself, well, I suffer from asthma so I too have to take care but right now I am the only one that I will allow

to go out to do the shopping. This scares me! I’m not paranoid, don’t really give a damn about too much.

Been hurt too much in my life to care about what others think. However, I find that I’m beginning to hesitate

at the thought of having to go to the supermarket, the thought of having to touch stuff, to queue up with

everyone else. I can’t get a slot for the home delivery, not anywhere or click and collect. Seems unfair that

those who never bothered before feel they need to take up these slots, to buy up everything in the shop

leaving others with nothing. Forcing those out into the scary world to buy essentials when they should be

indoors staying safe. It’s just selfish.

I go shopping once a week, buy enough to last the week so I don’t have to venture out again as I know it

takes me a few hours in the morning to summon up the nerve to go out. Once a week is tough when you

have a growing teenager who at the age of 14, and 6ft 3, and eats everything in sight. It looks like “Mother

Hubbard had a bare cupboard” by the middle of the week. No amount of “do you really need to eat that

much right now?” is listened to. He has to eat and that’s it.

So, going out to the shop is not fun anymore, it’s scary and I’m forever wiping down the trolley and it’s

handles and my hands at the same time trying not to touch my face until I’ve returned home and scrubbed

my hands clean. When I get the shopping home, I’m so paranoid that I won’t let hubby touch any of the

produce until I’ve either unpacked and unboxed it or at least washed down the outsides so that he can put it

away for me.

I hate it, all of it. Life, just in 3 weeks has turned upside down.

My son misses going to school. Trying to get him to do any of the work he has been set to do at home is a

nightmare. I know I’m not the only one pulling hair out because of this but I’m not a teacher, I just feel I’m

not encouraging him to do it, I’m actually nagging him. Trying not to nag but it’s hard. Can’t get him up

early enough in the morning to get on with it so that it frees up the afternoon and evening for him to catch

up with his friends through either his online gaming or video chats. So, come lunchtime and I’m still

“nagging” him, he ends up having to work through the afternoon and I must admit, I have made him work in

the evening and even Easter weekend. When he complained that the teachers said they could all have

that time off, I still made him do his work on the Saturday and the Monday. He protested but I stood my

ground, “No work, no Xbox!” Cruel mummy I know but I don’t want him falling behind. He finished what I

wanted him to do.

I worry for my other two children, one lives in Birmingham and his job means he has to mingle with the

public, that’s a scary thought but thankfully, at the moment, the company has told the majority of their

workforce to stay at home until further notice. He’s happy and not happy. The not happy part is due to the

fact he is in a flat with no balcony and no outside space other than the town centre. My daughter works in

the Police, lives away because of where her job is and is constantly in the thick of it, meaning that she is

dealing with all sorts of people, not just her, her colleagues too. Some nasty people, people who threaten

horrible things, “I’ll cough in your face, I’ll spit I your face, I could have the virus so watch out!” This isn’t just

where she is, this is all over the country and in whatever frontline job that is being so courageously carried

out.

So, I’m constantly on edge, fearing for my family and myself.

I wish the people who have no respect for frontline workers, the ones who still visit friend’s houses because

they think they are invincible, who walk around in groups regardless of the “stay at home” rules. All the

selfish people who think they are above the law. I wish they would just do as they are told as these are the

ones who will drag this on longer than it would need to go on for, the ones stretching the NHS doctors and

nurses to their absolute limit.

The year 2020 will certainly be written in the history books and be part of history lessons in the future.

It might be a scary time for all of us but if we pull together, we can do it.

May 2020

It’s now May!

May appears to be the new normal. April was a struggle, but we got through it.

Not so stressful now, accepted how things have to be until further notice. A strange new type of routine

comes out of this, and it hasn’t been too bad. I have noticed that I’m not watching the news everyday as I

did when we first were in lockdown. I get up in the morning, let the cats in or out, feed them, make a coffee

and watch Good Morning Britain for updates for a bit. I might settle down for an hour and watch something I

recorded the previous night while everyone else is still asleep and before I venture upstairs and “nag” the

son to get up.

The home schooling continues but is very trying at times. Having a teenage boy who likes his bed too

much. Likes to stay up late talking to his mates via Facetime or via Xbox gaming.

Had great plans to get him up early, spend the morning doing work then the afternoon and evening is free

to whatever he wants….no! Hasn’t worked out that way, still shouting at him at midday to get up.

Eventually he does and we get on with his work. Good thing coming out of this home schooling is that I

have learned stuff that I couldn’t do when I was in school. Maths, well, who knew I could master fractions,

or the surface area of a shape and as for Pi, well, that was a new one on me but I fist-pumped the air when

I got a question right, on my own. My son just looked at me and my hubby, who was sitting at the end of

the table, laughed. He said he was proud of me. I was proud of myself. The other subject I had no clue

about because I found it boring, was History. The start of WW2 got me hooked. Even learned so much

about Swansea during this time and what happened. Thoroughly enjoying MY education time with my son.

Hubby and I are talking about decorating the house, it badly needs it but don’t want to queue outside B&Q,

I would say it’s non-essential but when I really think about it, it is essential, it will give us something else to

do whilst we wait. However, did drive past the shop and the queue was massive, so turned around and

came home. So, no decorating. Now we are starting on the garden, son will be helping, he needs the

fresh air, I’m sure he hasn’t left is bedroom since March, well, it feels like it. Plenty to do out there, the nice

weather has encouraged the weeds to come visit so most of the first day will be tackling them. It is looking

bare in the borders, needs some colour but not going to the garden centre either, will have to make do.

Green is a nice colour, so we’ll stick with that for now!

Supermarkets told us that only one person per household were allowed to go shopping. One person, one

trolley. This has been hard to do as it’s always been hubby and me. I suffer from arthritis in my hands so

it’s helpful to have him with me as he does the carrying. So, after my last visit to the supermarket and

being told, couples can now go shopping together, I was elated. Come the following week, off we went,

together. Everyone in the shop who knows us both were so happy to see him. However, social distancing

being in place, good whilst you’re outside in the queue but you get into the shop and boy oh boy some

people think outside is where the 2-metre rule ended as once indoors they were all over the place. I feared

for hubby so kept nagging him to stay close to the trolley and not pick up and put down food stuff. Getting

really good at this nagging lark but I think he wished he had stayed at home and left me to do the shopping.

Saying that, he’s been out with me a few times now so it couldn’t have been that bad really.

Our Welsh Minister Mark Drakeford didn’t follow Boris Johnson’s lead regarding the lifting of lockdown . I’m

so glad to be living in Wales right now. Wales is closed. NO! Don’t want it to be lifted yet, needs more time.

I don’t want to send my son to school yet. How can you put into place social distancing at school? Then

you have all the teachers who have to go in and maybe they can’t due to their own reasons. Then you

have all the parents who have to drop and pick up the kids from school. They certainly can’t run school

buses. I find myself shouting at the TV “No, don’t be silly, let’s make sure this virus is under control or at

least some sort of vaccine” We will be in danger of getting a second wave and be under lockdown a lot

longer and the death rate will certainly go up! I cringe at seeing how many people flock to the beaches and

beauty spots now that Boris as said that in England people can drive to somewhere else for exercise.

There was a photo of Barry Island beach on the news at the weekend and it was deserted compared to a

photo of Southend beach (England) which was packed. It is madness, I think a lot of people have just given

up and others are just in denial that they won’t get the virus. It’s tough out there, economy is tough, we’re

all suffering but we have to be sensible.

Lockdown is causing us to miss milestones in people’s lives. It was my Goddaughter’s 1st Birthday this

month. Her mum had planned a lovely day at the zoo but of course that had to be cancelled so she

decided to do a Zoo themed party at home. The pictures were just great. I was a bit naughty. I went out to

a different shop for some bits and this shop had to pass by her door, so I left her present on the doorstep,

knocked the door and stood by the garden gate. Was sent some pictures later on and she had a lovely day

but it’s not the same.

Someone put on Facebook the other day that the days of the week have been renamed to thisday, thatday,

otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday. This is so true. I’m finding that I have to look at my

phone to find out where I am in the week, it’s like one long weekend, nothing makes sense right now.

I’ve put off putting this down in writing because if I don’t say it then it’s not true, but I’ve had a terrible loss to

deal with and in lockdown the loss is worse as many, many people know and understand themselves. I lost

my little brother, not from the virus but a suspected heart attack. He was rushed to Southampton Hospital

on Friday 15th May and never regained consciousness. Having tests all the following weeks found he

wasn’t there anymore, and nothing could be done and during the early hours of 22nd May his partner had to

make a very hard and heart-breaking decision. He leaves behind his partner and his 16-year-old son. I

spent a few days later very ill, sleeplessness, sickness, not eating, not drinking, getting very dehydrated.

Had to snap out of it for the sake of my own family. Heartbroken is such an understatement. I have

another brother, a couple of years younger than myself, all three of us have always been close, now there

is only the two of us left and the bond will be much stronger as we look out for each other even more. I am

so very sad…

So that is May nearly all done and dusted as we march our way to June and what happens next?