Corona Diaries

Eloise

“For the first time since lockdown, I find myself singing a merry tune. Finally feeling that I have settled

down to not only a routine but enjoying myself. Up to now, I have felt trapped, uncertain and could see little

improvement in the pandemic of lockdown.”

Background Information

Female, Works in Accounts, working remotely, Married, living with husband, grown up children

living away from home.

End of March to Late April 2020

March 24

Today is a beginning of many firsts.

First time ever being in lockdown. Not even as a child was I ever made to go to my room because I did

something wrong so I don't even have that as a comparison. I was always taught you did something wrong

you make it right. make it right being an action word. Lockdown is anything but action.

I work in accounts, it's a job I have trained for. First day of actual lockdown in a new job I only been in it 6 -

weeks. I am one of the lucky ones, furlough doesn't apply to me so my boss is letting me work from home. I

get to take the Works computer and all the supplies and files I need and run my team from the house. I'm

am the only full timer so I have the telephone calls come to me. The others to work from home on their

laptops and we communicate regularly by WhatsApp.

March 29

Day 5 of lockdown. Lots of things to do around house. Cleaning, scrubbing down every surface as well as

working from home keeping team happily doing our jobs is going well.

March 30

Coronavirus is all over the world I have spoken with my relatives in Canada and they have it there as well. I

have one daughter in Kent she is in lockdown but is able to teach her students online. Normally I am not

crazy but the internet as if so many bad things on it and you'll have to be careful about fake news but now I

am grateful that I've got it and I can keep in touch with all my family and my children.

March 31

Just when I think I have the hang of being in lockdown I get news from another daughter overseas. She is

overseas on training for the military and she was only supposed to be there for 6-months. They don't have

the testing kit but doctors are certain she has the virus. I am really upset that I am not there to help take

care of her. She is part of the navy and is in good hands but I am still not happy. No matter how old your

kids get they're always your kids and I just feel so useless out here back in the Wales. I should be able to

be out there taking care of her but instead I have to rely on WhatsApp to keep in communication and it

breaks my heart.

April 2

Son in Bristol phoned and asked me for advice. He works in a supermarket in Bristol and has just left this

shift with a sore throat and fever what should he do? Better be safe than sorry I said tell your boss you're

not coming in and you're taking 7 days off as the NHS advice line says. He was only in isolation for the 7 -

days and went back to. It wasn't the virus we don't think. I'm just grateful he is better and going back to a

job.

April 9

After being in isolation medically for 7-days my daughter messages me to say she has just about

recovered. She is back to her duties having to take it easy because breathing can still be difficult if she

Rushes around. My poor baby she really went through it.

April 11

Got woken up this morning buy my husband saying he broke his glasses. Funny thing about my husband is

completely blind without his glasses and when he says he's broken something he usually does a really

good job of it. Normally it wouldn't be a problem just make an appointment with the eye doctor go in get a

new pair simple. Now you got to be creative how do you fix something so tiny, screw missing, no Super

Glue. Have to get my Blue Peter hat on and try and figure it out.

Normally I'm a very easy going person. Now I am feeling anything but. The upset about being woken up at

5 am on a day off from work, but more I don't know how to fix these things. I've got a bit of hard as nails

glue and thread and some scotch tape and hope for the best.

************

Government is telling us that we could go on for another month or two at this lock down because of the

virus a prime minister Boris Johnson is in critical care but they say he's doing well. How much can you

actually Trust BBC News they have always been the government's mouth piece. I hope he recovers

wouldn't wish the virus on anyone.

Had a Skype call with my brother in Canada he said all the brothers and their families are fine all in

lockdown except two of them who are in the essential jobs. Also glad to hear that both my parents are fine.

I am not too worried about them they have 3 of my 4 Brothers around them.- mum lives on a farm with the

youngest brother and she's keeping herself busy. Dad and his wife are well set up so I'm not worried about

them either.

Positive spin for the day, I've got a garden to sit in I got food in the house and I know my kids are safe. Just

have to figure out these glasses.

April 13 – Bank Holiday Weekend (A very long 4 days)

Being in lockdown means having a lot of free time. There is only so much house work you can do, and if

you are lucky enough to have a back yard, you start spending nice sunny days outside. Makes up for not

being able to go out. Only thing is you can hear neighbour’s conversations, listen to their fears and hear

their family dynamics. Parents are keeping a happy front to their kids, trying to keep them engaged. But

they share their concerns about how long this lockdown can possibly go on for. Everyone notices that the

air is cleaner, that you can see the stars at night, that animals and sea life (from the tv news) is making a

comeback. So we all see this as a silver lining.

My child who is overseas with the military, has asked me to stop texting for a while. They are all just

keeping it together and cannot stand any news from home at the moment. I am worried about her and

those like her. Being on the other side of the world – my heart is breaking.

I hate having nothing to do, I need these days to have meaning. An interesting quote on Facebook that

went something like this…. We are being treated like the rebellious teenager and God has sent us all to our

rooms to contemplate our actions and attitudes. Can’t help but see this myself. Most people are being

more ready to help each other, help the elderly or vulnerable. Maybe, if and when we come out of this, we

may be a modicum less greedy and more humane.

I am determined to come out of this with more than what I went into it with. I have thought about and

signed up for a beginner’s management course. Online courses have dropped in price so much that it is

well worth taking up something to keep my mind busy.

Trying to keep patient with my other half. We are trying give each other some space as well as work

together. Not as easy as it sounds. We will either be in a stronger relationship at the end of this, or further

apart. Time will tell.

April 21

Quote for the day, ‘lack of curiosity brings depression’, so here is me trying to take an interest in what is

around me.

Early May to end of June 2020

May 2

Started to feel like I am going into a spiral down to depression. Spent the last 4 days trying not to lose

emotional control – very hard to not lose my temper, stupid stuff sets me off. I just need a long walk in the

woods, no one but me and God. Cant….

May 7

Went for a walk on the common near the house, took a picture of myself and the pond to my daughter, look

so very stressed and old. My roots need doing something terrible.

May 8

VE Day, Bank Holiday. A beautiful sunny day, perfect for getting out – out where is the question? We got

into the car and decided to go pick up a couple of treats – chocolate for me! Oh how I miss chocolate

anything with a Costa coffee and sitting in the cafe just watching the world go by. But to have just

chocolate for now.

Drove to Lidl’s, took one look at the neatly aligned group of people all six feet apart and drove back to the

local shop. Some individuals with masks most without but all neatly six feet apart. Only in Britain do you

actually see such a queue of relaxed people all waiting their turn. Makes me think of the stories I read of

the second world war where if you saw a queue, you just joined to during rationing – and it was only asking

what the queue was for that you actually knew what you were queueing for. Funny how things don't

change that much from one generation to another.

Was on Facebook during the week, a good way to keep in contact with all my family overseas (that’s what I

keep telling myself). So many people blaming their governments for Corona virus, others saying it's a

conspiracy by the big conglomerate worldwide companies to crush their competitors. Others saying is a

manmade virus made by the Chinese and Americans which ‘got out’ and is ‘culling’ the elderly and

vulnerable of the world. People are sharing new articles from around the world – all blaming government.

Here in Uk blaming Boris Johnson for not getting us ready for the virus. So easy to blame and take you

eye off the ball. I just want to shout, stop moaning about who is responsible – plenty of time for that after

the virus is gone. Need to buckle down and deal with the problem.

I notice some people say if we were still part of Europe we could get protective gear from Europe – really?

I say - grow up, each individual country in Europe is taking care of itself and maybe we should become

more self-sufficient. Our grandparents during the second world war had the attitude of ‘digging for glory’

and ‘make do and mend.

There will be plenty time for laying blame later. Hindsight is only valuable after learning the lesson. Let’s

learn from our own history.

I am writing this, sitting in my back garden which is now basically an allotment of vegetables and fruit.

(Also hoping my daughter has been able to find an open doctor surgery in her area to sign up and get some

more asthma medicines.)

Overall starting to feel a bit more positive and getting a bit more proactive.

May 16

Almost two months in lockdown. It’s a strange feeling acceptance as the government is now saying that we

could be in some sort of lock down to October and maybe xmas. Well, that goes any plans to visit my folks

in Canada in October, doesn’t look like even the airlines will be running planes. What has happened – a

whole world being shut down by a virus. All I can hope is that we as humans will we come out as better

people, less greedy less hard less materialistic – one can only hope.

May 24

Its been a while since I last wrote. Not a lot has happened. Though there was a little 10-year-old boy a

couple of doors down from me who took his bike and started to ride fast down the road with his Mom

shouting ‘come back here, you are not allowed to go out’. He shouted back ‘Mom I need to get out of here

and just ride’. We all knew what he meant, we are all fed up with lockdown too, but it takes a child to

express it openly in the most basic way – a ride to freedom.

I wonder about the future of our kids – will they have nightmares about this time in forced lockdown? What

about kids who are in unsafe homes or not getting enough food or love? It makes me sad to think that

even though we are in lock down, most of us are safe but not all.

I was hoping to paint my kitchen. Normally bank holidays is traditional DIY time. I see people painting and

doing upkeep to their homes, but I wonder if the lockdown continues should I spend money now in doing

painting and decorating or saving any spare money for a rainy day? It’s the not knowing how long we have

left before work and the economy starts moving again that’s holding me back.

Oh well ‘count your blessings’, one day at a time.

June 10

For the first time since lockdown, I find myself singing a merry tune. Finally feeling that I have settled down

to not only a routine but enjoying myself. Up to now, I have felt trapped, uncertain and could see little

improvement in the pandemic of lockdown.

I am learning to play the piano, still work from home and have a project of revamping my kitchen. My

children are doing well and in contact. Family on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean are for all parts well. The

government is starting to think of lifting lockdown and hopefully by September the children will start going to

school. All in all, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Shopping is still a chore, not only do I have to remember my handbag, keys, phone but now have to

remember the hand sanitizer and face mask.

Still looking forward to travelling to see my kids in person. Really miss hugging my kids.

June 27

Payday...thankfully. Even though I have only used my car once a week to do groceries my car battery died.

Its funny, I filled up on petrol two days before lockdown over 3 months ago and I still have half a tank of

petrol left. Had to get a new battery – luckily only £50 including my mechanic having to do a house call.

Not a lot has happened over the last month. I have gotten better at controlling my emotions and hiding my

frustrations, from others at not being able to do what I want e.g.: going for a long walk, visiting family,

hugging my kids. I am now seeing counsellors on tv advertising their services, anytime day or night, so I

conclude there must be a lot of people who are struggling with the changes that Corona Virus has imposed

on all of us.

I know that the virus exists and that it is very pervasive. I am starting to question how long countries can

continue to be in lockdown. Economies are very fragile, and no economy can survive without its people

working and paying their taxes. Few people can work from home. It’s like a family budget, you can skimp

and save for a while, but then something will happen outside the budget, e.g.: major house repair or any

major expense like replacement of a cooker or washing machine, that needs immediate attention and

funding. How long can governments afford to keep handing out money so that people can survive? How

many businesses will survive this crisis?

Also, what about Carer givers? I was a care giver to my husband for 7 years after a major illness took

away his ability to walk/talk and function normally. I worked as a Carer for families who were affected with

Alzheimer’s. The lucky families had a Carer come in to help them out so they could have a much-needed

break – whether to sleep, shop or some outside ‘me’ time. This lockdown is affecting their stamina to do

the best they can under already difficult circumstances.

So, my question is: How long can lockdown continue before people just say in mass, we need to get back

to normal? I want to be law abiding, most people do. Is Corona virus something that we will have to

continue living with, like flu?

One of my daughters and her boyfriend live in different cities. They want to get engaged and ma rry but

must wait to end of lockdown before they can even begin their life together.

How Long Before We Can Start Living Again? The government is starting to relax its rules and it is a step -

by-step process. Will Science have worked with regards to the reducing of the virus work?

There are so many questions which months of frustration have raised. It has been a period of questioning

the world actions on the virus, caring and encouraging loved ones as best I can, whilst all the while looking

for comfort myself in the words of the Almighty God. That is what has been keeping my emotional balance.

(sorry if I got a bit too deep here).

I will celebrate greatly when lockdown is over.