Corona Diaries

Hazel

“That’s 3 more days on the chart I made marking 14 days after each shift on the wards and VE day, 3 extra

days before I can relax and know I’ve not killed someone.”

Background Information

Female, aged 35-44, Working from home as administrator for the NHS, redeployed onto hospital

wards for a couple of shifts, living in the North West, White, Married to Mark, One 3-year-old daughter,

Bella.

March 2020

Our position at the beginning of the month:

We are hoping to move house before the end of the year to get our daughter into a good school and get a

bigger property with space to entertain and a garden that gets the sun. I had booked visits for us at local

schools so we can decide where we would like to move to. I am in the process of selling my old house and

then we will put our house on the market and start looking at houses for sale. I am extremely concerned that

the coronavirus situation will prevent us from moving in time for the school application deadline, and that our

visits to the schools will be cancelled which will mean that we won’t even know which area we need to look

at for our new home.

I have been writing a daily diary for years now, and my March entries were written before I knew they would

be part of the Coronadiaries project.

Sunday 1 March

Bella went to her swimming lesson, and to the park, where we bumped into one of her friends. The girls had

fun together. In the afternoon though Bella’s temperature came back.

Monday 2 March

Mark headed off to Birmingham for his work conference, despite my misgivings about him coming into contact

with someone who’s travelled from a coronavirus area. I’m worried someone in the room will go on to be

diagnosed, and all those who attended, including Mark, will be forced into self-isolation, thereby causing us

to miss our appointments at the schools, and me to miss my leadership course at work if I have to stay off

with him.

My parents came round for a brew, and they shared my worries! We played games and jigsaws with Bella –

once I’d finished ranting. Bella was better today but I kept her in.

Tuesday 3 March

Arrived at the office to find that Mark had made good on his promise and brought me in a lamb curry!

Checked emails on my lunchbreak to find a message from the solicitor asking about access into the garden

at my old house.

Bella was difficult going to bed this time, which was really frustrating as I really wanted to enjoy my curry. I

ate at 9pm and was too tired to do much after that. There was far more than I thought and I left about a third.

I have never had so much meat in my life!

Coronavirus cases jumped to over 40.

Wednesday 4 March

Day 1 of Aspiring Leaders course. I’m in a really good group, we all gelled straight away. It was a lovely day,

but I’m not sure I learned anything! Mark came back home.

Coronavirus – 87 UK cases. People are talking about stockpiling loo roll, and apparently hand gel has tripled

in price.

Thursday 5 March

Gemma from the estate agent came to measure up. I really liked her and so did Bella! She gave a few useful

tips and recommended a place to live.

Bella was a pain though – 45 min round trip to the butchers, with a public tantrum on the way.

UK coronavirus cases up to 116. A went to Tesco to complete our stockpile of baked beans and bog rolls. He

said stocks were low on soap and hand gel was totally sold out.

Friday 6 March

Coronavirus cases up to 164. Everyone at work talking about it – mainly cracking jokes about panic-buying

bog-roll. In the meantime, Mark is starting with a cold…

Saturday 7 March

Bella didn’t want to go to dance class today, and sat on my knee the whole time we were there. She perked

up afterwards thankfully, when Mark took her to the park and they bumped into Daisy. Apparently they were

running around together for a full hour. Bella had a break watching Finding Dory whilst I prepared a roast

dinner, then Janine brought Alex round for more fun. Bella went straight to sleep at bedtime.

Mark painted the exterior windows and sills, and we sorted out the booze cupboard. Managed to fit all the

stuff along the top of the kitchen cupboard into the booze cupboard, so that the estate agent photos won’t

feature a row of wine bottles!

Coronavirus cases pass 200.

Sunday 8 March

Bella faired better at her swimming lesson. Mark went for a long run (half marathon) whilst I did more clearing.

It’s frustrating we haven’t heard from the photographer to fix a date, as we’d hoped to have it pretty much

ready for photos today but don’t want to shove everything in a cupboard too soon.

Took Bell to the Shalimar for a curry. She did ever so well, eating lots of curried fish and chicken.

Monday 9 March

Day started with a phone call from the photographer, and the photoshoot booked for tomorrow. Mum arrived

to look after Bell whilst Mark and I visited the two schools we had booked in for today. The first was very

small, quiet and comforting, but I am just not comfortable with the religious aspect. And the second was very

different, it was so big I’d have got lost if we weren’t being shown round. The classrooms were much noisier

and busier.

Bella was an angel the rest of the day, and apparently was good as gold for my parents. I was able to clear

and clean most of the upstairs levels whilst she watched Frozen. The house is looking amazing!

Tuesday 10 March

Final hiding of remaining items on display before heading to work. Energy assessment, photos and for sale

sign all done this afternoon. Weather was disappointing for the shoot, despite sunny forecast.

Wednesday 11 March

Day 2 of my leadership course, and it was meatier this time. Lots of interesting advice on how to improve

communication and behaviour. We had a little interactive online game using our phones at the start which

allowed me to quickly forward a letter from the solicitor for Mark to read. It looks like they are trying to get

the old communal land passed over to me and I have to get an independent solicitor to witness my signature

– but not until the buyer’s solicitor agrees to it. All this is taking so long, and people being off sick / self-

isolating is only going to make it worse.

I had a further shock at the end of the day – Kylie [my best friend] has come down with something that sounds

very much like Coronavirus. She has taken a further test and is self-isolating til she gets the results.

Thursday 12 March

Mark drove straight to Cheltenham after work to embark upon Mal’s 4-day stag do. The Who concert he was

meant to be going to on Monday was cancelled today. I was struggling with the dilemma over whether to

cancel my quarterly direct debit for choir which is due to come out tomorrow. We were all glued to the news

after Ireland announced they were closing all schools and nurseries, and our own government was closeted

in a Cobra meeting this afternoon. Thankfully Boris bought us another week by refusing to take those

measures just yet.

As for Kylie, she hasn’t had her results yet and she is hoping it’s just a cold.

I took Bella to the park and she scootered all the way there and back, I was very proud! We stayed in in the

afternoon apart from a “picnic” in the back garden. She ate her head off all day and had 3 poos.

Friday 13 March

Mark was at the Cheltenham Gold Cup today. Still no results for Kylie, but she is starting to feel better now.

Starting to get worried about being expected to work from home. Especially if Bella is off nursery. I sent my

managers a list of questions about it in advance of our team meeting on Wednesday.

Nursery sent a letter saying they would be testing everyone’s temperatures as we go in next week, including

parents dropping off.

Spent the evening watching the news and getting more and more worried. Slept for about 4 -5 hours that

night, the rest of the time I was worrying about work, the houses, and the fact that I never took Bella for her

preschool immunisations…

Saturday 14 March

Bella woke with a persistent continuous cough! Decided not to take her to dance class as I’d get

lynched. Mum kindly came to watch Bell whilst I dashed to the post office to dispatch the last items I’d sold

on ebay. Went to Tesco too, and the shelves were full, there was even some bog roll, and staff were wheeling

out trolleys of kitchen roll.

Bella’s cough lessened slightly during the day as I had the window open. She enjoyed doing some painting.

I took her to my parents as planned as she wasn’t showing a temperature. I am so glad I did. It was such a

happy occasion. Bella was beautifully behaved, especially at tea-time – she took one bite of Mum’s cottage

pie and said “mmm that is so delicious!” then asked for more vegetables! I was so immensely proud. She

enjoyed telling the dogs to “get in your bed!” and conducting us playing the guitar, piano and dancing.

Meanwhile Mark spent £60 on 2 beers, a dessert and a veggie burger.

Sunday 15 March

Still coughing. She came in my bed in the night, very cramped in a single! We took the dogs down the yellow

brick road and Bella was so funny with the dogs. She was tickled by Max having 4 poos, and she danced

about spotting all the thin little worms on the path. She walked loads.

Mark came home as we were having lunch. So glad to see him. He also saw the same strange worms in

Rewon! We all went for a curry. Bella did well eating the fish tikka.

Monday 16 March

Thank goodness, Bella’s cough is better! I was able to take her to meet Sophie, Isla and Jordan. It was such

a gorgeous day, sunny pretty much all the time. Bella and Isla both had such a great time, Bella was so well

behaved again, and running around absolutely loads. She played in the sandpit, playground, café and the

woodland area. She found a painted stone which she loved, and they all sat on the big stone chair for a lovely

photo.

Checked my emails obsessively all day. Got the email from the solicitor 7 minutes after it was sent confirming

that I can now sign my document. Booked in with the independent for tomorrow afternoon! Rang doctors

and the immunisation clinic is still on!

Hit the shops when I got back to stockpile toys and games for Bella. It was like another Christmas or birthday.

Latest announcement is for whole households to isolate for 14 days if one member shows symptoms.

Choir is cancelled. BH says we’ll all get our subs back.

Tuesday 17 March

Everyone at work is talking about the virus. I had a healthy debate with Ash about the government’s response

and whether the over 70s should be forced to isolate. We’re all gearing up to work from home by the end of

the week. I am feeling really nervous about it. I left my phone at home which didn’t help. Rang the doctors

and solicitors’ again – the solicitor said they were shutting down after today and not seeing any more clients. I

can’t believe how lucky I am and how close it was.

At lunchtime loads of people were saying Sainsbury’s was empty. One friend took pictures of rows and rows

of empty shelves. Another said he bought 54 bog rolls and Jan got the last pack in Tesco on Saturday just

after I was there.

Managed to get my document signed and dropped off in person at my solicitor’s. Bella had her injections,

cried, then ate chocolate and went to the park.

The [running club] is closed, swimming lessons, and more and more pubs in town. The last day of my

leadership course got cancelled.

I can’t believe we got through today.

Wednesday 18 March

Another insane day. At about 4 o clock it came out that Boris was due to announce school closures across

the UK today. There was a mad scramble to disconnect my computer and take it home, in case I had to work

from home on Friday! We collected Bella from nursery, on the first day of the new regime where all children

had to have their temperature taken and parents were not allowed in the classrooms. Got in the car afterwards

and our estate agent rang saying we have 2 viewings booked! I was astounded that viewings are still

happening!

Mark and I crowded round the iPad at 5 to listen to the daily national broadcast. Indeed, all schools and

nurseries are closing after Friday! Plugged my laptop in and attempted to retrieve files I had emailed

myself. Only none of them would open! So back to being stressed!

Then quick read through of all the properties on Rightmove to shortlist those we want to view, in case we are

still able to get in. I had not looked, thinking viewings would not be happening anymore. There are 2 or 3

that are worth looking at!

Thursday 19 March

Several phonecalls to make. Rang estate agents and booked two viewings in for Saturday and Sunday. The

house we really wanted to look at has suspended viewings for ‘family issues’. Wonder if they have

Coronavirus…

Next, on to IT at work. Initially they came up with a simple solution, but then that didn’t work. Rang my

manager to let her know. Whilst I was on the phone Bella was in the kitchen emptying her tubes of paint into

the bowl. It took almost half an hour to clean up. At least there was still the mince and sausages I wanted

left at the butchers.

Tried IT again when Mark got home. The engineer logged on but was unable to fix the problem. He said there

were over 200 requests for the network to be enabled for people to work from home. He also said that

apparently all NHS staff were considered ‘keyworkers’ and therefore able to send their children to school. So

will Bella be able to go then??

Back to the 5pm broadcast, where the government were due to clarify what constitutes a ‘keyworker’. They

didn’t really.

Friday 20 March

At nursery drop-off everyone was talking about keyworkers. I went to tell the manager that I worked for the

NHS, and it was revealed that Mark should also be a keyworker! The manager said she wanted as many

people as possible to stay at Nursery.

All day it was never clarified at work, but Heather told me to assume I was for now. Meanwhile mark got his

status confirmed. On my lunch break the solicitor rang and asked if I was happy to complete on [my old

house]! The day got better; my Network access came through!

Picked Bella up, her place is confirmed as only one parent needs to be a keyworker. Of course everything

could change next week! Got home, checked my junk mail and found an email from the solicitor I needed to

reply to, and now it is too late for the sale to complete until after the weekend. Absolutely gutted.

Boris shut all the pubs and restaurants just before people knocked off work.

Saturday 21 March

Took Bella to the park whilst Mark received our viewers. Bels was very good and did well on her bike. Our

house was very well received by the viewers! After lunch we went to view two houses. Both houses don’t

seem to be on streets with many children, and bedrooms were disappointingly small. The first house was so

old fashioned and there wasn’t much more dining space than we already have. The second had some great

features – dining room and conservatory which would make an ideal play area for Bella. But the single rooms

were just so tiny, not at all suitable for Bella.

Kylie [my best friend] rang me today – apparently the school provision for keyworkers is not actual

school! Just a care facility. Kylie has decided to pull Caerwyn out and home school him! Whilst she also

works.

Sunday 22 March

Took Bels to the park very early. She did very well again. The weather has been lovely this weekend which

has really helped. We went for our third and final viewing after lunch, which was the house we most wanted

to see. I checked my text confirmation and realized that I’d misread the time and we were half a n hour

late. The office was shut when I tried to ring. I can’t believe I messed up something so important. Tonight’s

announcement wasn’t a lockdown yet, but it was a final warning to stay away from people, even / especially

outside. So I guess that’s it then. Out of time.

Monday 23 March

Bella didn’t want to go out today, which was probably a good thing. She occupied herself painting and

drawing. She is really into drawing people and attempting to draw the cat - only he has about 10 legs. Check

my emails about 20 times. A rang the estate agent, who says it is now with the lender, waiting for them to

approve the document about the communal land.

Boris didn’t appear til 8:30 tonight, but when he did, it was to announce that we are going into lockdown.

Tuesday 24 March – lockdown Day 1

A received communication that all staff are to stay at home until they’d clarified things. We decided that I just

couldn’t justify sending Bella to nursery whilst I was on annual leave all this week, so I rang and let the

manager know she wasn’t coming in this week. So we all stayed at home. My dad finished work today too,

but he had to argue with his boss to get him to close. Mark’s mate had a letter from his work saying they

were keyworkers and had to go out to work. It began to look more likely that Mark will have to too.

It was a lovely sunny day so we spent most of it sat outside in the garden. I went to the office to get my laptop

and other bits – I went in the car at 8:45 and it was like a Sunday afternoon. I was worried the building would

be empty and shut but there were loads of people in.

The neighbourhood WhatsApp group was on fire; Les started a jigsaw challenge (I did a 250 piece in 52

mins) and I donated a kitchen roll in return. Bella did lots of arts and crafts. We tried the Joe Wickes workout

in the morning, but L was not impressed.

We got an email from Nursery saying that if keyworkers had partners who could work from home then they

needed to keep their child at home, and must collect their child now!

Got the long-awaited call from my solicitor – my house is sold!!!

Wednesday 25 March – lockdown Day 2

A lovely sunny relaxing day! Bels did more arts and crafts and sat in the swing in the allotment. We managed

to get through Jolly Phonics and counting to 100 whilst on the swing! She was very good when I disappeared

upstairs to work in the afternoon. Caught up with work emails and applied for council tax refund whilst Mark

took her to the park on the back of his bike. I went for a walk in the park later, and it was eerily quiet. There

were quite a few people but all keeping as far away from each other as possible, and being very very quiet.

Thursday 26 March – lockdown Day 3

Bella had another nice day crafting outside and sitting in the swing in the allotment. We all went for a bike

ride in the park but it became difficult when people weren’t getting out of our way.

Mark did the shopping at big Tesco (we are trying to keep it to one big weekly shop now). He said there were

queues to get in and everyone had to stand 2 metres apart.

Mark set up a whats app group for the entire family. He is starting a family quiz which will take place on

Sunday night. At 8pm there was an event across the country where people stepped out of their doors or

opened the window and clapped to say thank you to the NHS staff.

Friday 27 March – lockdown Day 4

Mark back at work today for a short day. We discovered Bella has some bits in her hand from where she fell

yesterday. Mark put a plaster on. After her bath we held her whilst Mark dug the bits out with tweezers. He

managed to get it completely clean, and Bella perked up immediately. She had been walking round holding

her hand out all day.

Boris and Nick Hancock have now got coronavirus.

Saturday 28 March – lockdown Day 5

The day passed surprisingly quickly. We killed an hour making things out of plasticine and wrapping them

up in a big ball of playdough. Bella made a birthday card because I never got round to buying one before

everywhere shut.

There was stuff on facebook saying the police are patrolling the Forest and stopping anyone who arrives by

car. It is a bit confusing about whether or not you’re allowed to get to outdoor spaces by car.

We tested the online family meet-up using whats app. You can only fit 4 on a screen so I had my parents

and Marks’s mum and dad on my phone trying to hold it up so they could see everyone else on the TV. It

didn’t really work. Bella wet herself just afterwards – just stood there in the middle of the living room doing a

massive pee.

Mark spent the rest of the evening setting everyone up on Snapchat as apparently we can all fit on there.

The latest Street challenge was clicking on the numbers 1-50 in the quickest time possible.

Sunday 29 March – lockdown Day 6

Decided to make more effort to exercise as of today – normally I don’t have to think about it as I walk to work

and dash around so much. Mark went for a run then I went for a brisk 30 min walk round the park. Again,

quite a few people but everyone is walking round in silence. It is harder to keep away from people in the

street. I just had to stop at one point to wait for some old man to clear the bottom of the road.

Finally managed to get Bella to do some exercise – I had the bright idea of recreating ‘stickly come dancing’

from Crackerjack – covering ourselves in post-it notes and dancing frantically to try and knock them off.

Family quiz night – at 8pm we all logged in via snapchat and read out 5 questions per household. There was

us, my parents, Marks’s parents, Marks’s brother etc. The questions were rock hard and Mark’s brother’s

team won by half a point. It was so much fun.

Monday 30 March – lockdown Day 7

A difficult day with Bella. Mark was working from home in the morning, and Bels was in one of those moods

where she didn’t want to do anything. Plus I was knackered because she had woken us up in the night

bringing a storybook up with her, and spent the next hour coughing in our faces. It was an effort to drag

myself out for my half hour walk in the park. I managed to make a big chili and a batch of parsnip soup though,

so I won’t have to cook on my work days.

Prince Charles has recovered and is out of isolation.

Tuesday 31 March – lockdown Day 8

First day working from home. Still not adjusted to the clock change but at least I slept better. I managed a

brief ‘commute’ walk around the street for about 7 minutes before making a hot cross bun to take up with me.

I whiled away the morning checking emails and doing some data inputting task my manager had given me

whilst Bels played beautifully downstairs. She never even noticed I was gone. Lunchbreak whilst Mark took

a conference call, then back to ‘the office’ to wrestle with IT. Had a call with my manager later.

The evening was just as productive – put Bella to bed, went for another brisk 20 minute walk, washed my

hair and rang Mum. I walked through the town centre this time. Every shop had posters in the window saying

either the shop was closed, or it was open but limited to 2 people inside at once. Italy announced that their 3

week lockdown was going to be extended for an unspecified length of time – until people stopped dying.

April 2020

Wednesday 1 April – lockdown Day 9

Second day of working from home. Still not got to grips with the IT foibles, but my managers and I had a

successful Zoom team meeting. Apparently Ashley has been taken off us to support the Information Hub.

Heather is feeling just as lost as I am despite having been in work (from home) last week. She informed me

that the Director of Finance and his PA are off with coronavirus symptoms.

I finished work at 4:15 then Mark had to go up and work til 7pm when he put Bella to bed. I went for

another random aimless walk. I’m amazed at how much ground I can cover in a short space of time. Came

back with a terrible sore throat. It’s been threatening for the last couple of days. No other symptoms

though.

Thursday 2 April – lockdown Day 10

A was out doing a long day at the chemical factory. He came home with a massive bottle of hand sanitizer

that they’d given him! Apparently they have switched production to making it. I ‘survived’ the day – Bella

went to the allotment and in the afternoon my friend and I managed to grapple with the technology and hold

a playdate with Isla and Jordan. The girls didn’t really get it, but at least we had a catch-up! Bella ‘worked

out’ to Grace’s exercise video twice today!

Friday 3 April – lockdown Day 11

Another boring day in the ‘office’. No one spoke to me and I spent the whole time inputting data except for

my lunchbreak when I walked round the block with Bella. My shoulders were really aching by the time I

finished my day.

4 and a half mile walk to see a house near the hospital we had seen on Rightmove. The driveway was tiny

and practically vertical so we’ve ruled it out. Saw the first car speeding along the road blatantly doing far

more than 30 down Nettle Road. Alys next door rang whilst I was out – she had made us a loaf of bread! It

was still warm when I got back and we had half of it that night with cheese.

Saturday 4 April – lockdown Day 12

Felt really down today. Spoke to Mum on the phone and felt a bit better. Mark went for a 13 mile run whilst I

set up the online dance class for Bella. She got upset as soon as she saw it, hid in the tunnel and asked

me to turn it off. She just wanted to play with her Frozen figures. That was the last class of the term so I

am not going to pay for any more as she hasn’t joined in the virtual classes or the proper classes before

that.

The afternoon was better; we went to the park, Bella did loads of running round collecting sticks. Managed

not to watch too much TV.

Kier Starmer won the Labour leadership election by a landslide. May as well vote Tory, as he is just the

same. Yet another smooth-talking middle aged middle class white man in a suit. And they have 5 other

passionate women to choose from.

Family quiz, Gregg and Sophia joined us this time but the signal kept failing so they had to drop out.

Sunday 5 April – lockdown Day 13

The promised sunny weather finally arrived, and we did some washing. Mark taught Bella opposites. It was

clear she didn’t have a clue to start with, but soon picked it up. She also showed an interest in typing on

the laptop. Hilda organised a ‘coffee break’ on the street at 10:30 where we all went out onto the path for a

chat. Mark drew a hopscotch grid for Bels.

I went for my first supermarket trip since it all kicked off to do our weekly shop. It was horrible. I queued for

20 minutes to get in, and today they’d introduced a one-way system, which made it really hard because I

kept getting stuck behind people who were taking ages. It took me 45 minutes to go round because I

couldn’t get anywhere. It was worse when I didn’t know which aisle I would find what I needed as I had to

go back round the one-way system. I felt so panicked by the end that I forgot my wine!

I went for my walk in the afternoon, to look at another house. It took me 1 and a half hours because my

way was blocked by two parties of people who had bumped into each other, and they were stood there

chatting at the entrance to the ginnel I needed to get down. I was furious. The house looked OK but it was

right next to the chav estate and backed onto the Hospice, and I can’t bear to be so close to all that

suffering and death. I just couldn’t see us living there. Anyway, I wore Marks’s fitbit and did over 14,000

steps today.

Made lasagna for tea. Bella hated it on sight, but at least she eventually tried the meat, so that is a very

small step forward.

At tonight’s broadcast Matt Hancock said they may force a total lockdown if people don’t stop gathe ring in

parks and beaches. Boris is still too ill to come out. Watched the Queen’s speech to the nation at 8pm.

Monday 6 April – lockdown Day 14

Bella spent an enjoyable morning making Easter bunny crafts. I walked down to Dave and Diane’s to pick

their brains over schools. Apparently none of them liked Calkirk...; they said it was too strict and the head

seemed boring. Bella got in Mark’s car when he arrived home from work, and he let her steer it!

Boris is in intensive care.

Tuesday 7 April – lockdown Day 15

Working from home day, but with a 2 and a half hour lunchbreak because Mark had to go out for a couple

of jobs and Bella wanted to go to the park. She walked all the way there and all the way round. There was

quite a police presence there. We played hide and seek and went on the obstacle course. I was kicking

myself because despite my good work keeping her from jumping off the doorsteps (in case she wobbled

and touched the wall to steady herself) I let her – no encouraged her – to touch the bloody button on the

pedestrian crossing. I managed to finish the demand and capacity analysis for the business case whilst

Bella watched Frozen 2. Again.

Bels was very clingy and wouldn’t let me leave the room once Frozen had finished, so I just had to wait for

Mark to get back home. She was feeling a bit hot but she’d chosen to wear a thick jumper and the sun was

streaming in. She refused her tea – even though I’d made fish fingers so Mark and I could treat ourselves

to tofu. I went upstairs to finish my work and Mark called me down because she had a temperature and had

gone really poorly! Oh no! Bella was very tired so I read her some stories and she was fast asleep in the

time it took me to turn the lights off. I am not sure now if we should be self-isolating! Mark doesn’t think so

unless she continues to be poorly.

Wednesday 8 April – lockdown Day 16

Bella woke up fine, which just made me more confused. A better day at work. I managed to host my own

meeting using Zoom this afternoon. Mark finally got round to reading my draft business case, and he rang

me and said he was surprised and impressed with how much I’d done. At our team meeting my managers

said they’d been asked to go on the senior manager on-call rota, where they would have to go in to the

office and literally manage the hospital from there. Paul attended the training yesterday and he said that

20% of staff were off sick / self-isolating, and just over 20 people had died in our hospital. Heather said that

a colleague had asked if I could support information returns after I had finished the business case. There

was also talk of me going into the Information Hub to cover for another colleague…

A bust the new craft box out and Bella had loads of fun. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we even ate tea

outside. Bella’s temperature went back up around 5pm again but she responded well to calpol, ate a

massive tea and we all went to the allotment for family play / exercise before bed.

Thursday 9 April – lockdown Day 17

Bella was such a good girl today. She spent the morning sticking the dresses on the ballerinas in her new

magazine which arrived yesterday. I called my parents for some facetime too. We went to the park for a bit

(I had to carry her) but we managed to gather the sticks and daisies I needed for the homemade

anniversary card I am making mark. Apparently wood and daisies are the symbols for 5 years. Bella did so

well with lunch – she ate a small piece of omelet and loads of raw carrot – she even asked for more! I had

to be very creative – pretending the crunching noises she made sounded like the earth giants in Frozen 2

calling for Elsa!

Read today’s coronavirus briefing from the hospital. Our Chief Exec is self-isolating with symptoms too

now. More positive news – the country’s oldest survivor – 97 – came from our hospital! We are also

participating in the clinical trials for treatment.

Virtual girls’ night in tonight. It was really good actually, everyone got to talk normally and we had a good

catch up. Chloe’s signal wasn’t good but we got her back in the end.

Friday 10 April – Good Friday – lockdown Day 18

A bit down today as we were supposed to be spending this Easter weekend with family. The weather is still

good though, and we enjoyed Mark and I both being off work. I went for a long walk to look at a house, It’s

the first house I could actually see us living in. The pictures online showed a gorgeous little girl’s bedroom

plus a separate play room. In the flesh I could see it had a massive front garden and driveway which could

fit at least 5 cars. The neighbourhood had at least 3 rainbows in the windows which indicates other children

in the area, The lady who owned it was outside when I got there, but she had disappeared inside before I

plucked up the courage to speak to her. I timed the walk to work and it was 35 minutes. The walk was

interesting as there were lots of chalk drawings on the floor of rainbows and hopscotch grids, and

messages saying ‘I love the NHS’ and ‘Stay Safe’.

Another lockdown win for Bella – she ate some rice!

Saturday 11 April – lockdown Day 19

Fantastic weather! I was in shorts and Bella and Mark went in the paddling pool! Someone has installed a

swing ball in the allotment, and Bels was trying really hard to hit the ball for a while. She managed it a

couple of times. We all had a letter through – one of the neighbours has requested a trampoline for the

allotment and it is being put to a vote. We have said no as it will take up too much space.

The sore throat that has been threatening for days has really come out now, and I’ve been coughing a bit.

It feels like hayfever, as if my throat, and also my inner ears, are being irritated. My voice is starting to go

too.

Mark and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary with a Tesco meal deal, a bottle of rose and a chiminea.

It was really nice actually! I even got dressed up and did my hair.

Sunday 12 April – Easter Sunday – lockdown Day 20

Easter egg hunt for Bella in the allotment. She loved it. She wore her gingham dress from Isla and looked

so beautiful. She was ever so good with the chocolate; she agreed to keep a lot of it for later. Bella made

Easter cards for all the children in the street. She got quite a few back! I was worried about the germ-

spreading though, particularly from our end, as Mark let Bella lick the envelope seal on a card.

On my daily walk there were so many chavs out, shouting in really loud voices to the people next to them.

One family of fools were sat at a picnic table

We caught up virtually with Bella’s cousin, Mark’s parents and my parents. She enjoyed it but was a bit

reluctant at first. Bels also joined us for the family quiz (which we won despite distractions from Bella!).

Before we dialled in Bella said “I want to see people on the sofa – in our house”. Poor little Bels.

My sore throat was really bothering me today, it is hard to speak.

Monday 13 April – lockdown Day 21

A went for a 16 mile run in the morning, whilst Bella and I caught up with friends on Skype. Bella seems to

be getting a bit more used to seeing people on the tablet now. I went for a walk in the afternoon to check

out the old side of town.

On the news they’re saying that lockdown won’t be lifted yet, although Spain and Italy are easing

restrictions a little bit.

My sore throat, cough and headache are starting to clear up.

Tuesday 14 April – lockdown Day 22

Heather rang me to discuss possible redeployment into ward areas or covering Colin – who is off sick with

coronavirus symptoms. He has had a test which is encouraging if they’re testing non-clinical staff. The

generic worker role on the wards sounds really exciting, but I know I will probably catch coronavirus if I go

there, and bring it home too. I am most interested in covering for Colin in the Information Hub, but from

Heather’s feedback later sounded like the response was a bit lukewarm. They want to wait for Colin’s test

result but he’ll probably be out of isolation by then, and even if he’s not got it, if he’s too sick to work he’s

too sick to work.

Mark had to go out to work in the afternoon. Bella cried when she saw him in his work clothes and asked

him to take them off and work at home. I managed to get through my teleconference by putting Cinderella

on, but I couldn’t do much else. I was only doing my annual mandatory training – which I have until

November to complete – so I’m not in too much of a rush, but I feel guilty for ‘skiving’.

Wednesday 15 April – lockdown Day 23

Another hard day. Mark went to work at lunchtime and Bella cried. Even when I put Frozen 2 on she

wanted me to stay with her and I ended up with her sat on my lap tearing pages out of my workbook whilst I

was on our team meeting videoconference. Heather said she had spoken to HR about the redeployment

and she thinks I might not be needed, or if I am, it won’t be til May. I am getting really fed up of having to

spin out non-essential work. It is in the back of my mind though, the risk if I do end up on the front line.

Colin’s results came back negative by the way.

At 5 o clock Mark came home and I went back upstairs to finish the last module of my mandatory training. I

took a gin and tonic back to my desk with me. Because I could.

Went for my walk and phoned Mum. My dad dropped off some sticker books they’d bought for Bels along

with some snacks that were hanging round their house.

Some of my mum friends with children starting in school this September got their results back. Wendy said

they only got their third choice.

Thursday 16 April – lockdown Day 24

Heard from women from my yoga mums thread about their schools. One didn’t get her choice, but the

other did which is encouraging, as she has not yet managed to move. Apparently she was due to move 2

weeks ago and lockdown put it on hold. All the conveyancing was done, they just had to move. Must be

soul destroying.

Painted the bottom of an egg box different colours and took Bella out to get plants and leaves in the

corresponding colours. It was an idea I saw on Facebook. It kept her occupied for most of the afternoon!

Friday 17 April – lockdown Day 25

Reply from the HR manager thanking me for volunteering for redeployment and inviting me to register on

the training session on Monday – which I did! Ended up being quite busy as a colleague asked my advice

on Rheumatology and Mark asked me to look into a business case which Colin was working on.

Saturday 18 April – lockdown Day 26

Mark went for an 18-mile run this morning! Wendy and I held another virtual playdate. Bella did much

better this time, taking my phone and showing Caerwyn all her soft toys. She even changed into her dance

class outfit to show her. Caerwyn was a bit distracted, however. Wendy said that she did some ringing

around about schools – apparently catchment for one shrunk to 0.3 miles this year! We’re 0.4…

Toured the area round the back of my parents’ house for my walk. There was an actual street party going

on on the street over! 5 young people stood outside swigging from cans of Stella with 80s music blasting

out. I just had to text Lauryn. Apparently they all have a disco in their front gardens on a Saturday. Those

people must have carried it on. They were still going on my way back. No cars though, except a Domino’s

delivery car. Which I saw 3 times.

Kylie, Maya and I had another Skype girls’ night. Most of the conversation was about shopping in

supermarkets and Kylie struggle to find carrots! Kylie was really supportive about my decision to go for

redeployment.

Sunday 19 April – lockdown Day 27

Bella did really well with her Octonauts activity book this morning. We’d arranged a Skype call with Georgie

and Prim, which took 15 minutes for Prim to grapple with technical issues and lasted just over 5 minutes

before Georgie wandered into the garden and Prim called it off. What a waste that was. At least Bella

wasn’t upset. I suggested that we schedule a call for the two of us just to catch up and she said she’d have

to ‘check her diary’.

Mark went for a shorter run, past the house we’ve been looking at. He spoke to the man who lives there!

Found out all about the nearest pubs, but not how many children live on the street or when they get the sun

in the back garden. Arrgh! So excited that Mark got to speak to them, and we’re even more dying to go and

view it!

Missed most of the quiz night as Bella was tired and burst into tears when everyone appeared on the

phone. She said “I just want stories”. Mark still won the quiz.

Monday 20 April – lockdown Day 28

Got up and put my work clothes on for the first time in a month! Bella a bit confused and upset when I tried

to explain about Mark and I doing half days. The car park at the hospital was still full and there were a few

staff coming in to work. The corridor was much quieter with only 2 other people – one of whom was

heading for the training centre. I managed to follow her in without having to touch and buttons. The

graduate trainee was there when I arrived, it was good to see a face I knew. There were 6 of us on the

course, all on chairs with an attempt at 2 meters apart. The course was really good, covering what PPE

we’d wear and how to put on / take off (known as ‘donning’ and ‘doffing’), conflict resolution, how to put bed

rails up and down, how to use a wheelchair, what happens at mealtimes, moving and handling and what

cleaning wipes to use when. It was fascinating and wonderful to get out of lockdown for the morning!

Switch straight to being Mummy as soon as got home after washing my hands (and my shoes!) and

changing as Mark left straight for work. Afternoon consisted of endless games of hiding the plastic

dinosaurs Bella got with her Dinosaur Adventures magazine, aborted jigsaws, and being laid upon for half

an hour when I got home. She did really well with her lasagne though at teatime.

Tuesday 21 April – lockdown Day 29

Bella chose from my recipe book what we’d have for tea tonight. It worked really well. It involved

sausages, but we also got a quantity of lentils down her along with carrots and leek.

Alys next door was saying today what a difference the lack of traffic was making on her asthma. She said

she had never breathed so easily in her life and that she felt marvellous. That was really cheering to hear.

Spent much of the day at work sorting through photos and recipes to send over for the first edition of the

Finance lockdown newsletter. I am so excited about that newsletter!

Wednesday 22 April – lockdown Day 30

Today was a nightmare. I had the morning off to take my time back for going in on Monday, and Mark went

out to do some jobs. The morning was OK, but I really had to get to work after lunch and Bella decided she

wanted to go to the allotment. Mark was supposed to be back at 1:30 and I had a team meeting

videoconference at 2. I was so stressed and Bella obviously picked up on it and was playing up. He didn’t

get back til after 2 and Bels was sat on my knee whilst I was connecting to my managers. I nearly had a

full meltdown myself trying to send an email whilst Bella was screaming at me.

There was a powercut in our street in the morning too. Fortunately we had all showered and eaten. Unlike

some of the neighbours on our Whats App group!

Went for a walk at 7:30. I had intended to go to a potential house to see where the sun was setting but it

was too late so I went to look at the house on a different street instead. I don’t like it as much as the other.

Thursday 23 April – lockdown Day 31

So glad it was a non-working day and I resolved not to look at my phone or the news all day. Bella faffed

around most of the morning until I could drag her to the butchers and the park afterwards. We picked

daisies for a bit then Bella wanted to fart around on the skate park. God that was depressing. Reduced to

having to play on her own on a chuffing skate park covered in graffiti of people smoking spliffs. After a

while we were ambushed by two older kids whizzing past on bikes so I had an excuse to go home. Worried

about Bella’s little feet burning, not to mention the whole free-range chicken and frozen koftas sweating

away in my rucksack.

Hilda passed on her Sainsbury’s magazine for me to read. It was the April 2020 issue, including a big

feature about entertaining friends and family over all the bank holidays. Grrr. Clearly hadn’t been edited

before all the copies went out.

Watched the Big Night In on TV to raise money for the coronavirus. There was some really good stuff –

particularly Peter Kay’s new version of Amarillo with NHS staff. It was hilarious!

Friday 24 April – lockdown Day 32

Spent a wonderful half hour at work reading the newsletter. One of my cake recipes and crafting with Bella

made it in. There was a hilarious section with anonymous ‘confessions of an isolator’ with things like

someone eating a whole bag of crisps for breakfast and someone else eating their kid’s Easter egg and

blaming the Easter bunny. Very excited about a book someone recommended which sounds even better

than Midsomer Murders! There were loads of quizzes, and examples of jokes off the internet. It was so

great, and really cheered me up.

Mid-afternoon I got the email calling me up to the front line! OMG! It was from a colleague of all people.

Asking for my availability next week. Chuffing Nora! I had to say not much at this notice! Plus one of my

managers replied and said he still wanted me for our scheduled meeting about the business case (which he

has still done sod all with). I forwarded her the lengthy email I sent to HR detailing what I could and

couldn’t do depending on how much notice I’d be given. At about 3 I was sent an occupational health form

to fill in.

The rest of the afternoon was mainly spent roasting that chicken, bobbing up now and then to check

emails.

Weekly pilgrimage to the house we want to buy, earlier this time so I could gauge where the sun was. It

doesn’t look like we will get the sun this late (6:40). Got back just before 7:30 and had to completely strip

the chicken and put the stock on before my Skype call with Kylie and Maya. More moaning about how shit

lockdown is. Can’t really remember what we talked about, and I only had 2 gins.

Saturday 25 April – lockdown Day 33

Another day of lovely weather. Mark went for another 18 mile run! It takes long enough to drive there! Tried

to get Bella to join her dance class but she was having none of it. She was very clever, drawing pictures on

her blackboard and asking me to guess what animal it was. We took her to the park to eat ice cream, play

in the ‘sandpit’ (golf bunker) and dance in the blossom rain (Mark shaking the tree). Bella was so happy.

We had a BBQ for tea and a chiminea outside after Bels had gone to bed.

Mark said he’d read in the Daily Mail that the government was considering allowing people to see one other

household of close family or friends. They can go in each others’ houses and even help with childcare. I

was mega excited, until I realised that I just can’t take that risk if I go on the wards; none of us can dare go

near my parents.

The ultra-violet wand that supposedly kills germs finally arrived, about 3 weeks after Mark ordered it. It

came with no instructions. Bella was very disappointed I wouldn’t let her ‘kill bugs’, even when I pointed out

that I meant germs, not ants.

Came home from my walk to find Bella reading to Charlie through the garden fence. She wouldn’t let him

get a word in edgeways. She seemed so happy and excited. It made me so happy to see. This is the only

real social contact apart from Mark and I she has had in a month.

Had a bit of a wobble in the middle of the night about whether or not I am doing the right thing going on to

the wards – worried about Mark getting really sick, worried that Bella might pass it on to the neighbours,

worried that we’d lose the house we really want if we are self-isolating when viewings are allowed again,

and worried that if the rumour is true and we can see family I will be making Bella lose out on so much for

no reason.

Sunday 26 April – lockdown Day 34

Bella was running races round the allotment today, so the exercise box is ticked! Quiet day, Mark went for

a run and I went for a walk to recce routes. It still took half an hour, and that was from the bottom of Park

Drive to the entrance to the hospital. Bella was kept entertained for over an hour just by me turfing out the

contents of her bag of half-finished activity books. Allowed me to get the meal plan and shopping list done.

Mark bumped into Prim today - with her boyfriend. Apparently he stays at hers 3 nights a week. As they

both live on their own and work from home the risk is very low. I don’t blame her.

No mention of the rumours in the daily briefing.

Missed most of the family quiz again. Bella said “I just want one of them” when asked if she wanted to say

hello to everyone. I asked Mark if he was still Ok with me going on the wards. He said yes, and that he

was proud of me.

Monday 27 April – lockdown Day 35

Logged on to my work emails whilst Bella watched TV. There was a link sent by HR to apply for a DBS

check. A whole WEEK after my training. I also have to go onsite to hand in some ID. What a ballache.

Boris is back in work.

Tuesday 28 April – lockdown Day 36

Walked to the hospital to hand in my paperwork. Saw loads of people I know. Not sure what they are all

doing still working onsite.

Mark went for a run.

Wednesday 29 April – lockdown Day 37

Busy day at work. Received the automated email at 1pm saying that the DBS had received my form. Don’t

know what they were fannying around at for the last 24 hours. Spoke to my manager twice today.

Apparently, I’ve been asked to support another project. I said that I only wish to do so if I will be adding any

actual value. If it’s just actions and agendas, I suggested her PA could do it.

Went to Home Bargains on my lunchbreak. Mark said it was good for social distancing, but it was bloody

awful. Too many people, and most of them looked smelly.

Spoke to Prim tonight. It all seems to be going really well with her.

Thursday 30 April – lockdown Day 38

Bella had a good morning; she asked me to make her a ‘Paw Print Challenge’ chart that she saw on

CBeebies. She was very excited about the letter challenge – to find 3 things in the house that begin with C.

She even drew the letter C and helped me draw a cat. I was very impressed.

Things we less good after lunch – Terri and I attempted a virtual play date. Bella was ever so excited and

put on a ‘show’ for Bella, which involved hurling herself around the living room shrieking. Unfortunately

Bella spotted a cake in the kitchen which she wasn’t allowed to have, so tantrum ensued and Terri had to

log off. Bella was very upset.

Heather rang me to update me following her meeting with Phillip. Apparently he was ‘not jumping for joy’

when she told him about my redeployment. Heather said he feels like the trust has gone over the top with

our response to the virus. He’s also asked for the business case by the end of next week. That should put

a rocket up my other manager’s arse!

Boris lead the briefing for the first time. Now he is back it looks like they are starting to form a plan for

coming out of lockdown.

Went to Sainsbury’s after I put Bella to bed. It was the best shopping experience so far. No queue, trolleys

disinfected and handed to me, friendly fellow shoppers, clear aisles… but still no flour, or lentils for some

reason.

May 2020

Friday 1 May – lockdown Day 39

Intense day at work, starting with a text from Mark 7:30am asking me to ring him. Didn’t finish til 6:45pm.

A letter arrived in our inboxes from nursery addressed to us personally, asking if anything had changed and

we needed childcare. Even if we knew someone else who needed childcare. I suspect they must have sent

it to all keyworkers. They sounded pretty desperate to have us back. Mark and I discussed it that night

and decided to send Bella back in. I am a bit worried about working on the wards and infecting other

children via Bella. Mark was more concerned that there had been no cases amongst the staff and children

already there.

Saturday 2 May – lockdown Day 40

Bella and I made an enormous chocolate cake. She loved it. We all went to the park in the afternoon and

the sun came out. Someone had drawn the number blocks and written the alphabet in chalk near the

bandstand. We showed Bella. It was great to see. She ran round loads.

B&Q appears to be open. The car park is rammed.

Checked my work emails. My manager had sent the draft business case at 1:40am!

Sunday 3 May – lockdown Day 41

Up, dressed and to the park before 8:30!

Timed another route back from Parkhill knocked 7 minutes off! I still have a potentially shorter route to

try… this is becoming an obsession. I daren’t actually go back and look at the house or view it on

Rightmove, as I want my image of the house to remain blurry, in case we lose it.

Monday 4 May – lockdown Day 42

Checked my work emails at half 7, and the General Manager had sent one yesterday morning asking for

my availability to work on the wards this week! I replied straight away but didn’t hear any more.

It wasn’t massively warm today, but Bella asked me to get the paddling pool out! She shrieked with

laughter each time I poured a bucket of water in. It ended in tears though when she asked me for an

orange, changed her mind after I’d peeled it, wanted a banana instead and I said no. there was another

tantrum later because I wouldn’t let her wee outside in the garden.

I didn’t ring nursery about Bella’s place in the end. I am just too worried that if I do end up going to the

wards and I pass something on to Bella she could potentially spread it to the staff and other families via

their children. Mark doesn’t feel there is any more risk than what we potentially come in to contact with at

the supermarket, so we agreed to go for it. I haven’t heard anything more from the General Manager

anyway, and we can’t really leave it much longer.

Tuesday 5 May – lockdown Day 43

I had the day off so that Mark could catch up on some of his work. Bella had such a good morning, we

went through her new CBeebies magazine together, and she was really good with the math activities.

I rang nursery this morning and booked Bella back in for 2days a week starting from next week. Apparently

4 others are restarting this week or next, and all the children are in the same room. The manager said that

no one has been ill so far. I will be mortified if Bella ends up being the first one! I am sad that Bella’s

keyworker has been furloughed, and none of the other ladies she is closest to will be there. I am really

nervous about how she will settle back in. We booked her for breakfast club but I doubt she’ll want to go.

I must have checked my emails at least 12 times during the day, but I never had any more news about

working on the wards this week. I’d offered tomorrow, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I was paranoid that I

will wake up at 7 tomorrow and find I have half an hour to get to the ward to start a shift. But then at 9pm I

opened the internet to look up a recipe, my work emails were still open and there was an email from the

General Manager sent 8:06pm asking if I could start work on Ward 2 tomorrow morning!!! So I got up and

packed my bag – fortunately I’d written a list over a week ago.

Wednesday 6 May – lockdown Day 44

Up at 7:30 after a dreadful night’s sleep as result of falling asleep with the electric blanket on and Bella

climbing into bed at 1am. Made a hasty packed lunch. Got changed again after picking up an email from

Laura saying that we’d be wearing scrubs. I couldn’t remember if you wear clothes underneath them or not.

Into the office at 9am to collect my new ID badge, then all the way across the site to collect my uniform

from HR. There must have been about 50 of those yellow T-shirts. The guy handing them out said they’d

been really hard to get hold of. The office behind him was full of crates of water bottles which had

apparently been donated. Back across the site, and met Laura, who took me up to Ward 2 to report to the

manager. Thankfully the Ward Manager recognised me. No one on the ward had been told I was coming,

and I hadn’t been assigned a buddy. Laura took me into the room to get some scrubs, and I changed in the

loo. I was introduced to the ward clerk – who herself had been redeployed just 3 weeks ago. I asked what I

could do to help and she said mainly answering the phone. She said relatives were constantly ringing and

they were a pain. It was then handover time, and everyone crowded round. There must have been 9 of us,

in such a small space after I’ve been used to being 2 meters apart from people. Only the ward clerk wore a

mask, no one else had PPE on. I was nervous being so close to people. I asked about masks afterwards,

and I was told that it was down to people’s choice. I decided to wear one in the end even though I felt like I

stuck out, because I was using the phone and literally everyone was grabbing it and no one ever wiped it.

There were no wipes or handgel nearby, and I had to get some. The phones were OK, I just took the

message, relayed it and repeated the answer back. Fortunately all the relatives I spoke to were calm.

There was some filing of blood results and swab results to do, which I was able to get on with. Judging by

the names and dates of birth the patients on this ward are elderly and mainly awaiting clearance to return to

their care homes. The staff seemed a nice bunch, the ward clerk was nice and the junior doctor was a

laugh. A lot of them had been redeployed from other wards. Those who already worked on Ward 2 said

that it was really quiet compared to when they were a surgical ward. The ward clerk even said that she

was so bored yesterday she started sweeping up. There were times when neither Pauline nor I had

anything to do. Occasionally one of the nurses popped their head out of the bay and asked me to pass

them something. It was hard to hear through the mask. This was because they were in full PPE and

couldn’t leave the room without taking it all off and putting it back on again. One of the patients tried to

escape, and two members of staff scrambled into gloves, mask, apron and face visor before diving into the

bay.

At lunchtime I helped hand the meals out to the nurses in the bays. Apparently the kitchen won’t take

orders any more because they do it on paper, so they just send up a load of meals without offering patients

choice. They brought up more meals than patients so there must have been 6 or 7 meals left. I asked why

they couldn’t just phone with the orders, and they said they’d suggested that but it had been rejected for

some reason. I think I will follow this up…

I was thinking about going for my lunch when I took a call from the Associate Director (who I know from

choir) – she was very surprised to find me on the end of that phone! She said she urgently needed to speak

to the consultant about transferring patients. There was an awkward moment when I couldn’t pronounce

the consultant’s name and the other junior doctor who’s really stuck up just looked at me like I was a slug.

We got there in the end though and I relayed back the names of 4 patients which the ward manager

nominated for transfer. The staff were all up in arms saying it was cruel to transfer them all the way to

Manchester. We just ended up with one in the end as 3 of them refused. It still took 3 hours to prepare the

paperwork as the printer was knackered and the doctor had the patients’ notes for ages.

During this I went for a quick lunch. I spoke to a HCA from Ward 1. She said she was really scared when it

was first announced that their ward was going to be a Covid ward. When I came back I found someone had

left a used lollipop stick on the desk where I was sitting. I couldn’t believe it. Also, the ward manager had

collared the cleaner to ask him to dust the lights above the nurses’ station because they were covered in

cobwebs. I found him half an hour later knocking dust all over the desk and into my drink.

I did get ‘hands on’ at one point, answering a call from one of the nurses to help lift a patient up the bed.

I’m not sure if I donned my PPE in the right order, but there I was. The nurse then left the room asking me

to make sure one of the other ladies didn’t climb out of her bed! The poor lady was very confused.

After lunch the ward grew hotter and hotter. Even the staff were complaining. I started to feel sick and I had

a banging headache. My mask was so big I could constantly see it in my eyes. I couldn’t help pulling it

away from my face at times. From half 3 I was watching the clock constantly desperate to go home.

Pauline mentioned that there were bottles of water available from donations. Later on a box of energy

drinks and a box of Easter eggs appeared, I couldn’t stomach chocolate in that heat. Tea arrived just before

I was due to finish so I stayed to help. I asked what meals were needed and I was told to go in the side

rooms and ask. I wasn’t sure if I should be wearing any PPE and no one said. It took ages to get the apron

open so I left it at that. Of course I had to then go and get the meal, and open the poor lady’s yoghurt pot

and get her cutlery out.

I was so glad to get home. I dashed straight into the shower and washed everything. Then cleaned the bath

and sink. Sprayed the floor with bleach solution I’d made up. Squirted all my bags. Stashed my shoes and

bag in a special quarantine area I’d set up in the kitchen cupboard, practically the only place Bella won’t get

at them. Mark went to Sainsbury’s so I did Bella’s bedtime routine, but I had to go straight to bed as soon

as he got home. I couldn’t face the thought of food.

Thursday 7 May – lockdown Day 45

My birthday today. Felt much better after a good night’s sleep. Opened presents and cards. Many presents

are still in transit, and the rest came from the supermarkets! I still ended up with rather a lot of gin. Had a

lovely chilled out day with Bella whilst Mark was at work. We went to the park (via the butcher’s) and lay in

the sun. After lunch we had a video call with Wendy and Caerwyn. Wendy said she spoke to the nursery

manager told her that they were hoping to re-open in June… She said she would definitely send Caerwyn

back as soon as they open.

I spoke to Heather. She said that there are new projects about to start where I will be needed, but maybe

not enough to fil my 3 days. She said she could pull me out now if I wanted, but appreciates that I may wish

to carry on working on the wards. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable about the risk of me passing the

virus on via Bella, particularly now she is going back to preschool. However I don’t want everyone to think I

am wimping out and going back on my agreement. That would have the opposite effect on my career than

what everyone claimed when I was encouraged to volunteer. We agreed that I would do this Saturday as

planned, plus Tuesday and Saturday next week (Heather wants me on Wednesday).

Curry takeaway for my birthday tea. Mark had to drive all the way there to get it as they don’t deliver that

far. They were bang on time though! We kept Bella up for the NHS clap at 8 o clock. I think she was just

that bit too tired though.

Sat outside typing up my diary whilst Mark put Bella to bed, listening to the neighbours plotting how to

subvert lockdown by arranging to ‘bump into’ friends and pretend they don’t know each other. They

frequently have visitors. Mark said Gary had told him that the girl he met on the internet is coming to stay

over tomorrow. Apparently lots of businesses Mark works with are opening from Monday. Lockdown, what

lockdown?

When I logged into the ‘Join Zoe’ symptom tracker it asked me a load of questions about my periods and

the pill. I think they must be looking into something…

Friday 8 May – lockdown Day 46

VE Day. Bella was very excited. She made a flag and Union Jack hat with Mark and ran round the garden

pretending to be a spitfire. Bella wore her red skirt and I wore my 1940s style tea dress with red stilettos. I

made a Genoese sponge cake with lemon curd and buttercream, decorated with blueberries and

strawberries in a Union Jack shape. At 1pm everyone on the street ate a picnic lunch in our gardens.

Some of us had wartime music on. Our neighbours had the two lads that live on their own in their garden

and they were serving them food. Alys walked up and down the path handing out sausage rolls, and I went

round with my cake and took photos. At some point I went to the loo and came back to find the two little

girls from 3 doors down in our garden playing with Bella! It was a total free for all. Neighbours were

mingling all over the place, some still vaguely 2 metres apart. Bella was screaming her head off, she was

so excited. I have not seen her this happy in a long time. I realized that some weren’t out and I was worried

that they felt uncomfortable and was staying indoors. Until I found her in the allotment with someone else’s

kid and their dog explaining that she and her friend often walk the dogs together ‘2 metres apart’ and after

having seen the carnage elsewhere decided to get a bottle of wine and gather in their garden! The frivolity

had a kind of manic air about it – a bit like that scene in that 1930s film where the sun gets too close to the

Earth and we all run out of water, and a bunch of people go crazy having a street party throwing water

everywhere. Our Brexiteer neighbours seem to be against the lockdown as a whole, even going as far as to

criticise the government they voted for. We were united in our anger though that young children seem to

have been forgotten. I didn’t go in any gardens but I think I forgot to keep 2 metres’ distance when chatting

to the others. I don’t see how we can claw this back now we have let our children out. The relief on the

other parents’ faces was palpable. I enjoyed our time but was worrying about passing something on from

the Covid ward.

Bella was too excited to eat her tea and it took ages to get her to bed. The party was still going on outside

when we went to bed. I could barely sleep for the anxiety and I am on the ward again tomorrow…

Saturday 9 May – lockdown Day 47

Hilda posted a message on the whats app group this morning. Apparently there are a few hangovers but

the adult revellers have agreed to revert to social distancing from now on. I still don’t get how we can

control the children though.

Meanwhile I reported to work on Ward 2. Took forever to find a pair of scrubs that wasn’t extra large, and

the smallest I could find left me flashing my bra. I was sent to Ward 1 as the ward clerk was based on 2. It

was sooo quiet. There was literally nothing for me to do. No filing (despite me asking several times) and

the phone barely rang. I offered to sit with one of the patients if they wanted to talk, but the Sister didn’t pick

up on that. It was excruciating. The cleaner came to my rescue and had me emptying out the laundry

trolley and filling the shelves with sheets and blankets. She suggested where I could wipe things down.

Went round the ward 3 times and used half a pack of 100 Clinell wipes. The surfaces clearly hadn’t been

wiped properly as there were marks on there that I was able to scrub off. I did feel safer though as I was

able to ask the Sister at the start about PPE and there weren’t people crowding round me like there was on

Wednesday. Plus I never went in any patients’ rooms. The ward was only half full of patients anyway. After

my lunchbreak the Sister sent me home early. I am definitely not doing the Saturday next week as it will be

a total waste of time.

Came home to find Mark and Bella in the allotment with the two little girls and her parents. The girls had

built a den under the picnic table. Bella was in her element, bossing both girls around. She bawled her

eyes out when we took her away from them.

I am still very worried though… what if I cause an outbreak on the street? I spoke to Mum and she strongly

disapproves. She also doesn’t think I should do anymore shifts on the wards. I shared my worries with

Mark and he said there is no more risk than catching something from a supermarket. I can’t say I agree. I

think Mark is just addicted to seeing his little girl smile.

Sunday 10 May – lockdown Day 48

Texted the little girls’ mum saying that I don’t think we should mingle any more. She replied saying she

agreed. It was easier to tackle my neighbour than my own husband! Texted Heather to feedback on

yesterday’s shift. She said she would draft an email to say that my final day will be Tuesday. So one more

day then.

Bella was amazing today, her development has come on so much in the last few days. She was really

engaging with the Mr Tumble programme on CBeebies (I detest it!) She was copying the sign language and

‘helping with the magic’. She drew trees outside a picture of a house (Mark drew the house) and counted

1-10 backwards.

Later that morning I started to feel panicky about the whole breaking lockdown thing and I just had to get

out. The walk made me feel better. Tried another route from Parkhill to the hospital. Shaved 5 minutes off

my time! Although I don’t even know that we will even get to move there.

We talked to Bella about preschool at teatime. We told her that there would be fewer big kids and that the

teachers needed her to help look after the babies. She seemed open to it, although not fully

understanding.

Boris’ big announcement was at 7 today. What a crappy time. Bella got upset because she wanted to watch

the news at 6, then when 7 came around she wanted us to turn it off. We ended up with the iPad on in her

room, me sat in bed with her reading stories as quiet as I could whilst straining to hear Boris.

The new rules make no chuffing sense. ‘All people should go to work if they can’t work from home’. What –

estate agents? Hairdressers? Garden centres They’re all public facing so I guess not, but no one actually

knows. Construction work is already going on – scaffolding was erected on the house opposite on

Thursday. People can now drive to get exercise, which is great, but probably not for another couple of

weeks as everyone will have the same idea. We can exercise more than once and sit down outside, but we

do that anyway. Once for ourselves and goodness knows how many other times with Bella. I do aim to get

out with a book one evening when the sun is long gone from our garden. So life won’t really change for us

other than that. Very disappointing that there was no mention of being allowed to mix with another

household. I was planning on seeing Mum with Bella 14 days after Tuesday!

Sent an email to the estate agent responsible for Parkhill, just on the off chance that viewings are starting

up again.

Monday 11 May – lockdown Day 49

The estate agent replied and said that they are reviewing the 50 page document from the government

today, but they doubt they’ll be able to start face to face viewings any time soon.

Further clarification emerged today – apparently the big return to work wasn’t supposed to be until

Wednesday! Too late though as tons of people went back today on crowded public transport. I can’t

believe how much Boris has fucked this up.

Heather emailed the operational team and my final shift has been agreed for Tuesday.

Tuesday 12 May – lockdown Day 50

Final shift on coronavirus Ward 2. I did feel more comfortable as I knew a bit more about what goes on.

The housekeeper asked me to wipe round the office. That must have taken me about an hour. I wiped

everywhere – all the shelves, round the back of the computers, along the electrical casing, and it was grim

in there! I missed the handover, which also meant I missed everyone breathing all over me. I wore one of

the proper FFP2 masks A ordered through work, and it fit brilliantly and was dead comfortable.

One of the HCAs asked me to feed one of the patients which I didn’t really want to do but I felt I couldn’t

refuse. I just had to stop in the end and say I couldn’t do it because I was so scared he was choking.

Bella’s first day back at preschool. She does amazingly well! She wanted breakfast and TV but we

managed to tear her away after Hey Duggee. She tripped happily out of the door with Mark at 7:40am.

Same time as I was leaving for my final shift on the coronavirus ward.

At 10pm tonight the BBC news confirmed that estate agents can restart viewings! OMG!!

Wednesday 13 May – lockdown Day 51

A few tears from Bella as she wanted to stay at home and watch Go Jetters instead of going to preschool.

However I successfully distracted her by taking her upstairs to look at my make-up and choose my

earrings. I went to preschool wearing eyeshadow, but Bella was a happy little girl, running and skipping all

the way there.

It was amazing having the whole house to myself ready for a full day’s work. However I was not that

productive as I spent a lot of time on the phone to estate agents. Rang the one for Parkhill 3 mins before

opening time and someone picked up. Get in! They are happy to conduct viewings – they were particularly

impressed that we have masks – and they are going to check with the vendor. I emailed another agent

regarding a house round the corner, and they replied saying pretty much the same thing. I was advised to

check the status of our buyer and I did so. Thankfully they are still in a position to buy, but they have not got

a mortgage yet, and reading between the lines I think they are struggling.

The estate agent also told me that her friend died of the virus. Apparently she worked in a care home and

she started with a sore throat and woke up unable to breathe. I’m hearing too many of these stories and

starting to get scared. It’s not just old and vulnerable people, it’s totally random. And I’m starting to worry

about that inflammatory disease that’s killing children. The media don’t seem to give a toss and think that

100 cases is ‘extremely rare’.

I am being plagued by dreams that I see friends and suddenly remember I forgot to social distance.

Thursday 14 May – lockdown Day 52

The estate agent for Parkhill finally rang at about 7:30 whilst I was putting Bella to bed, and we have our

viewing booked for Monday! So excited but so scared in case one of us gets sick and we have to cancel,

or that someone will get in first and it’ll be sold before we even get round to Monday. I mean – why

Monday? Surely it’ll be easier to get their kids out of the way on a weekend, surely they’ll be working from

home / looking after kids on Monday? Etc etc. So worried that they have a full weekend of viewings booked

already.

Positive news on the briefing today, they think they’ve found an antibody test that actually works.

Kylie read Bella a bedtime story via whats app video. It was so sweet. Bella said she didn’t want to speak

to Kylie but when she came online she was busy showing her the jigsaw we’d been doing. Kylie read ‘The

Selfish Crocodile’. Bella was full of smiles.

Found out I’d missed Mark recording the NHS clap to send to North West Tonight. Was sad until I heard

that it hadn’t worked and he’s trying again next week.

Friday 15 May – lockdown Day 53

Mark and I had the morning off so we could take advantage of the new rule change that allows us to drive

somewhere. We decided on the nature reserve where I used to go a lot with my parents. It was so strange

– but amazing – being in the car all together and not just going to the supermarket. Bella absolutely loved

her walk, and ran most of the way round. She was so excited! She was like a different child. She only

wanted to be carried towards the end when she suddenly got tired. She was fascinated by the hole s in the

tree roots and she just loved running along with boardwalk. We were so happy, it was so amazing.

Work in the afternoon, really busy but got loads achieved in my half-day.

Viewing booked for Westbourne Road I think I might actually like it more than Parkhill. Our agent rang

again, just to say that our buyer has been furloughed but is re-starting work next week and needs to work

for a month before getting their mortgage through which is fine. I missed the call and was so worried we

were going to be told that they were pulling out.

Saturday 16 May – lockdown Day 54

Bella was in a foul mood all day. I think she was still recovering from the excitement of the week. We took

her to the park but I left early to go back and await the delivery of 8 pies. Bumped into Prim and Georgie

who were on their way to the park to feed the ducks. An hour later Mark returned with Bella, having let her

run round with Georgie holding hands. For Fuck’s sake. That’s 3 more days on the chart I made marking 14

days after each shift on the wards and VE day, 3 extra days before I can relax and know I’ve not killed

someone. 3 more days of anxiety. Well Prim knows Bella’s back in preschool and I’m sure she can work

out what kind of work I may have been doing which necessitated me working a Saturday, so she can crow

about ordering her shopping online all she bloody wants.

Sunday 17 May – lockdown Day 55

Back to nature reserve – we were out for over 2 hours! We had a picnic halfway round.

Monday 18 May – lockdown Day 56

Heard both Hannah and the little girls’ dad coughing in their gardens. Getting paranoid I have infected their

household. Hannah probably caught it herself from all her visitors. Her daughter’s Year 6 as well so

probably back at school in 2 weeks.

The afternoon dragged before our long-awaited viewing at Parkhill, Bella loved it! She was dancing around

shrieking whereas the previous two viewings she clung to me and didn’t really want to be there. The sun

wasn’t out which was a shame as I wanted to see where it was in the garden. There is also a large

downstairs loo and utility room which wasn’t in the photos. The kitchen looks huge and the garden is pretty

big. The garden was a bit scruffy but we can do so much with it; there’s a shed which needs to go and a

veg patch already which we can extend. I was a bit disappointed that the kitchen looked dark and bleak. I

don’t know what they were thinking of when they put those hideous grey units in. The rest of the house was

pristine. We identified Bella’s room straight away. Spoke to the neighbour afterwards – he looked a

miserable git but his house is on the market so it doesn’t matter. He said they were a real community, and

they were planning on a big BBQ in the street once lockdown is lifted. It was that that really sold it to me,

and that the house leads on to the green in the middle of the road where everyone will congregate. Mark

and I were full of excitement when we got back. And our house looked so small! We have decided to put in

an offer already.

Catch-up with my old friends over Skype. It was good to see them all.

Tuesday 19 May – lockdown Day 57

Rang the seller’s estate agent and asked a few questions first, which were mainly about the ancient boiler.

We were informed that they had found a house they wanted but they weren’t able to put in an offer until

they had one on their house. That prompted me to knock another grand off our offer. I blamed it on the

boiler. The counter-offer hit our target and we accepted!

Wednesday 20 May – lockdown Day 58

Got quotes from solicitors and walked round to the estate agent to hand in our ID. Bella came out of

preschool sporting a fake Eid tattoo. I made a video of her saying ‘Eid Mubarak’ to her auntie Kylie – with a

mouthful of banana.

On the way home we bumped into the estate agent who showed us round Parkhill – he lives round the

corner – We recognized his car!

Thursday 21 May – lockdown Day 59

Bella spent most of the day sticking stickers in her sticker books.

Our estate agent rang to say the owners of Parkhill had had their offer accepted on the house they want to

buy – and the house is empty! So that’s the end of the chain. It could actually happen, and soon!

Saw Colin on his way back from work and asked if he had collected his free packed lunch for NHS staff

from Paddy McGuinness. He said he did, but there were about 300 people arriving at the same time to

collect them.

Hannah getting ridiculous with the number of visitors she is having, particularly as she now has her elderly

mother living with her. One set of visitors were sitting in her garden, including someone who was saying

she worked in a care home. Mark went past to collect the bin and put on a fake cough and muttered “Sorry

for breaking up your party”

The lamb and mango curry I made from the Sainsbury’s magazine recipe was delicious, Bella wolfed it

down. Definitely a success!

Spent ages getting ready for the NHS clap at 8 and Mark’s second attempt at recording it for North West

Tonight. The chav who lives opposite told me she’s had coronavirus! She’s assistant manager at a care

home. Fucking hell! And Neil was walking her bloody dog with another of his mates last month – FFS. I

hope her chavvy kids who followed her out haven’t got it – I was standing down-wind! I shot back indoors at

2 minutes past. And Mark never bloody filmed it.

Friday 22 May – lockdown Day 60

Very busy day at work, exacerbated by the fact that I took a long lunchbreak with Mark to eat our enormous

BBQ pack delivered by Turquoise in the park. Mark thought it would be pre-cooked but it wasn’t, so we had

to stick the grill on. It was delicious. It was blowing a gale though and freezing in the park.

Saturday 23 May – lockdown Day 61

The Street over from us now have a DJ! With proper decks and everything, pumping out music. People

were boozing in the middle of the street. It was so funny. I could hear it right til I crossed the road before

our block.

The news and social media is boiling with the news that Dominic Cummings (Boris’ chief advisor) drove all

the way to Durham when he and his wife had the coronavirus to dump his virus-ridden kid with his elderly

parents. I am livid! I don’t know what is worse – that he risked lives driving when he wasn’t in a fit state and

bringing a kid who’s clothes and hair reeked of the virus to his own parents - or - that it actually is OK to do

all that, but that the government never told us!

Mark finally gave in and borrowed my dad’s clippers to cut his hair. He did a very good job! His hair was

getting ridiculous.

Skype call with my old friends again.

Sunday 24 May – lockdown Day 62

The hayfever’s back. Mark and I were both sniffly in the morning. Took Bella to another nature reserve for a

walk. She took a while to get going but still managed a proper walk.

Boris bothered to heave his bulk to the press-conference today to defend his mate and seemed to be

implying that yes it is OK to drop your kid off with its grandparents if you’re too sick to look after it.

Unbelievable. I am so angry I am literally shaking.

Monday 25 May – lockdown Day 63

Bank Holiday. Mark went out on his motorbike with my dad and his best mate. I held the technical trial of

Annie’s baby shower on Zoom. So glad I did! It was blazing hot, and we mainly stayed in the garden. We

had a BBQ in the afternoon.

Went for a walk in the evening to recce where Mum and I are going to meet for cake and prosecco. It was

packed, and the coveted Hole 11 on the golf course at the top of the hill was occupied. On my way back I

saw that one of Hannah’s kids had written ‘Stay 2 Metres Away’ on the steps. *rolls eyes*

It was still nice outside and we sat outside with some of the neighbours chatting. It was really nice. Even

our Brexiteer and anti-lockdowner neighbours were critical of Cummings. He must be the most hated man

in the country.

Tuesday 26 May – lockdown Day 64

Fuck me – Dominic fucking Cummings now admits to going to Barnard Castle when they were all sick – to

test his fucking eyesight! Since when was it even legal to drive when you can’t fucking see???? Paddy

McGuiness caught the mood of the nation perfectly with his spook version of Amarillo – “Is this the way to

Barnard Castle?”

We took Bella to the park after nursery, and we bumped into two of Bella’s little friends. We let the girls

play together (keeping our distance from each other) as they’ll all be together next week anyway. Wendy is

definitely of the opinion that kids need to get back to school and nursery. She can’t wait for next week.

Baked a cake in the evening in readiness for the long -awaited meet up with Mum tomorrow in the park.

Wednesday 27 May – lockdown Day 65

Daily bulletin from work announced that wards 1 and 2 are no longer COVID! That’s amazing! Such good

news. Although the national death rate is still over 400. It doesn’t seem to be falling any more.

The solicitor finally returned all my messages only to say that they are not able to take on our case – and –

they said they’d passed it on! We would have gone with them straight away if the buyers’ chuffing agent

hadn’t insisted these were quicker. So there was a flurry of activity to contact our new solicitor and send all

the info we’d already sent to the old one. I feel more confident about it moving forward now.

Met Mum in the park for cake and prosecco. We were both so excited and talked nineteen to the dozen. It

was just so amazing to be able to sit down with each other and really talk.

Couldn’t sleep last night because my throat was so sore. In desperation I took more piriton at midnight.

Thursday 28 May – lockdown Day 66

Bella really impressed me today – she made a scrap paper tree, pom pom bunny rabbit and a wonderful

peacock made out of a kitchen roll holder and tissue paper. The tree and the peacock came out of the

Mister Maker books. The rabbit she invented for herself, and went rooting through the random bits of tat I

hang on to just for these occasions. I was so proud.

The solicitors’ paperwork arrived after lunch. Mark filled it out and took it round 2 hours later and we both

walked round with our ID. Discovered later there was another batch of paperwork in a separate email. This

was completed in the evening.

We took Bella to the park and had a later tea and bedtime. She still didn’t sleep til 20 past 8.

Announcement came out of the blue – we can now meet in groups of up to 6 and even in people’s gardens!

This is amazing! It opens up so many possibilities – as long as the weather stays nice! Texted Mum

straight away.

Friday 29 May – lockdown Day 67

Finished the final lot of paperwork and I handed it in at the solicitor’s this morning. Feel a bit twitchy now as

we don’t actually have anything else we need to do! Work was busy again. Mark kept pestering me to join

him in the garden.

Bella played in the park again after preschool. It’s great to see her getting so much exercise and fresh air.

I had to leave her with Mark as I was going out. He texted to say she was playing with the little girl we saw

nearby. Oh God….

Saturday 30 May – lockdown Day 68

I swear I hear ambulances more and more. There were 3 today. At first I thought it was because I could

hear them better without the traffic, but the traffic is almost as bad now.

We took Bella to the nature reserve for another little walk. It was very hot. We chilled in the garden in the

afternoon.

Started watching Outbreak. It’s not very good. All about Americans and the military and crap like that.

Contagion is much better.

Sunday 31 May – lockdown Day 69

Woke up at 5am and decided that I was going to apply for the job that I saw advertised at the Trust for a

project manager in Informatics. I was put off at first because it said the role was full time and I have not got

a formal project management qualification. Anyway I thought I’d give it a go, and I’ll speak to Vic about it

tomorrow. I don’t expect I’ll get it but I would like to get an interview just for the practice. The job looks

good, maybe not in the area I really want, but the main thing is it’s more secure because Informatics have

already been through a big re-structure, and IT is a big thing now people have to stay at home more.

Took a break after nearly 3 hours to join Mark and Bella in the park to meet Prim and her boyfriend. He

seemed nice, but a bit shy and quiet – as can be expected, as we are close friends of Prim’s. Bella played

nicely with Georgie in the sandpits whilst I interrogated her boyfriend about how hot a curry he can handle.

Finished my application at 2pm. Almost a full day’s work as I logged on at 7. Bella was tired. Not

surprising as she’d had less than 9 hours’ sleep. She’s sleeping almost as little as an adult now. The little

girls down the road wandered over to play. Mark and I finished the bottle of kumquat liquor that we bought

in Corfu in 2013 and kept forgetting about because we only discover it in Winter and we want to save it for

Summer.

June 2020

Monday 1 June

Schools went back across the country today. I looked on Mumsnet and there were lots of positive stories

about how much children had loved going back to school, despite the restrictions in place. There was none

of the trauma and anxiety people had forecast.

Rang Victor about the project manager job. He said that it absolutely had to be full time because the person

who was meant to slot into the job wanted to be part time and they wouldn’t let her so they made her

redundant instead. Even though she stretched to 35 out of 37.5 hours.

Today saw our long-awaited visit to my parents’! I had been so excited. As expected Bella enjoyed

washing her hands under the outside taps my dad had installed to wash the dogs. Bella was so well-

behaved. She must’ve drawn 15 pictures that she kept handing to Mum. Mum had made scones and Bella

had some. It was a blistering hot afternoon and I was a bit sunburnt when we got home.

We were just getting into bed at 11 o clock when we hear Bella coughing. I nearly crapped myself. I lay

awake listening to her worrying because we’d been to my parents’ today and how do I go about getting her

a test through work…

Tuesday 2 June

There was no more coughing in the night thank god. It must’ve just been for about 10 minutes.

Watched the footage of all the protests about the death of George Floyd. That cop will be responsible for

more deaths than Dominic Cummings judging by the crowds. Including London. I do wonder whether

there’ll be a spike in cases in London over the next couple of weeks as a result. Also - I really hope this

gets rid of Trump!

A really busy but productive day at work. I got loads done! It was Bella’s first day with preschool fully open

and she was delighted to see that Lily had come back! It all seemed to go very well and she had a good

day.

The report into the disproportionate impact of Coronavirus on black and Asian people was released today.

It still doesn’t say why. It says people with Bangladeshi heritage are twice as likely to die. I’m worried about

Mark. He says he is going to work 2 days a week in the office, but I’m told no one is really social distancing

there. There are more and more people on site; in most meetings people are dialing in from their offices,

and I don’t know why they can’t work from home. I am a bit worried they’ll start expecting me to come in.

I’m starting to really like working from home! I will have to go in one day to lead a process mapping

session, and I’m a bit scared! There’s only a couple of meeting rooms big enough for us to distance, so I

really hope I can get us one.

Mark had the telephone appointment with the bank about our mortgage. It all went as planned. The latest

correspondence from the vendor’s agent gives an estimated completion date of 14 August! That’s only 10

weeks away! It would be so amazing if we could get in when there’s still some summer left. I don’t want to

get my hopes up though so I’m still thinking September in my head, or at least hopefully in time for Bella’s

October birthday.

I went for another marathon shop at Sainsbury’s and spent over £100, mainly on vegetables and yoghurt.

My ice cream was melting by the time I got back. Watched another episode of the A-Word after tea.

Wednesday 3 June

Had fantastic day at work, it was really positive. First I met with the estates and facilities team to discuss

opportunities for sustainable development. It was such a contrast to when I tried it 10 years ago and no

one could really be bothered. Then in the afternoon we had our first project meeting for the roll-out of

video-conferencing for outpatient consultations. We were joined by one of the consultants who had trialed

a clinic this morning. He was literally raving about it. It was so great to see people being so enthusiastic

about working differently. I am so used to people being negative and unwilling, or saying they agree then

not bothering. I think during this crisis we have all been forced to change and adapt quickly, and we’ve all

realized that we can do it!

I was very productive today, as well as all that work I cleaned the bathroom, hoovered everywhere and did

some ironing.

Thursday 4 June

Bella helped me pick gooseberries in the allotment. There were loads! We made a crumble together later

after we’d shown Daddy her basketful. We had a Zoom playdate with Bella, which went really well, and

Terri and I got to have a good catch up. Whilst we were on we got a text from Annie who is having to go for

an emergency c-section tomorrow. The baby is not growing properly.

Unfortunately this week’s meet-up with Mum was cancelled due to the rain. Such a shame as I’d only just

started seeing people. We did a videocall instead but it wasn’t the same.

Friday 5 June

Mark had the day off work and I had the afternoon off. Mark went for a run in the morning. We got a

takeaway chili chicken wrap from the Turkish cafe for our lunch, then we went for a walk up the forest. It

was the first proper time together we’d had since lockdown. We had mixture of sunny weather and rain.

Mostly sunshine. Delivered the stickerbooks I’d bought for the other kids in our group just to cheer them up.

When we got Bella home and switched on the TV the news was on. She said ”That’s the coronavirus”.

That’s the first time she’s mentioned it. Other kids must be talking about it in preschool. I asked her who

talks about it, and she said Elissa. Elissa has an older brother, so she must pick up a lot.

Started watching Tales from the Loop – another newsletter recommendation.

Text from Annie in the evening – her baby boy was delivered safely!

Saturday 6 June

Photos on facebook of huge gatherings in the town centre for Black Lives Matter. I never even knew

anything was happening. Everyone seemed to be distancing, but it’s still worrying, all those people in one

place, and so near to where we live.

It was pouring down today but we saw a window of sunshine to take Bella to the park – and got absolutely

soaked. Bella spent the rest of the day in her onesie watching films.

According to the Tapestry update from preschool, Bella had told Lily that she has a new room – I wonder if

she is thinking of the bedroom at Parkhill? Mind you, she also told her teacher that she saw a flying pig.

I’ve not told Bella about moving house as it’s still a long way away and may yet fall through. She does

seem to like drawing houses and mentioning them in her play…

Sunday 7 June

Bella and I baked the ginger cake again – with treacle this time – whilst Mark went to give blood. It was in a

different venue this time due to social distancing, but an example of another thing which can go ahead

despite the virus.

Took Bella to my parents’ again, it was just about warm enough to sit outside.

The chippy was open so we got fish and chips for tea for us all!

Monday 8 June

Rang the optician to see if anything could be done about my scratched glasses during this lockdown. The

good news was that they are open and I can look for new frames, even though I cannot get an eye test

right now. The downside was that Bella screamed at the top of her lungs all the way through because I

was too busy on the phone to take the lid off her pot of glitter.

We had a better afternoon, as the sun came out and we met Prim and Georgie at the park. Bella took

charge straight away, directing us to the sandpits and introducing Georgie to the hole in the bushes by the

duck pond. I don’t think any ducks actually got fed.

My optician’s appointment went well, and I even got to Boots to buy some proper electric toothbrush heads.

Apparently I had my mask on inside out. I knew I’d look a tit in a mask.

Tuesday 9 June

According to our staff newsletter we got £53k of the Captain Tom money!

Mortgage offer and completed survey report arrived today.

Bella got a sticker at preschool for trying cucumber! She has literally never tried it since she was a baby.

She said it was yummy.

Wednesday 10 June

Spoke to both estate agents to swap updates.

Thursday 11 June

Bella’s first playdate at someone’s house; I took her round to Alan’s to play with Hettie. The weather

forecast was terrible and I so nearly called the whole thing off. But the sun came out just as we were

setting off, and stayed out the whole time. I got to have an adult chat with Al and Hayley whilst Bella and

Hettie played with Hettie’s dolls. Hayley told me that a friend of ours has been made redundant. I am

really sad for her. And cross really, because she works at a solicitors and I know for a fact they are all

busy.

Bella refused to try her cucumber.

Friday 12 June

Met Mum in the park, wrapped up like an eskimo. Had more prosecco and a hunk of bara brith.

Saturday 13 June

Mark’s parents came down for a visit. We were all super-excited, especially Bella. I made Mark give Bella a

bath and wash her hair as I was worried she’d have the virus in her hair from preschool. Mark’s dad is

vulnerable due to his cancer treatment, and he has only just started to leave the house.

The weather was great; we had a brew in the garden and went to the park. Mark’s mum gave me my

birthday presents which I had totally forgotten about! More Tesco showergel, a candle and other smellies.

We had our Turquoise BBQ in the allotment, with some extras I made. The aubergine dip I made was

delicious! Bella was too excited to eat. I think she had 3 ice lollies, half a cupcake and toast all day! My

parents also came round for lunch, and Bella had a wonderful time showing off.

Bella played with friends in the allotment as soon as Mark’s parents left, but then she crashed and asked

me to take her home. She was really upset that Grandma and Pops had gone. She had an early night and

went straight to sleep.

Hilda up the road texted – the playground is open!!

Sunday 14 June

Mark took Bella to the park but avoided the playgrounds. He said they were packed with kids. Instead we

took her to the nature reserve again. Bella was still tired and emotional after yesterday.

Monday 15 June

Took Bella to the park. The playground was empty at first, but I had a look and the side gate was open. The

cable ties had been cut and were on the ground. The ties were still on the main gate but we’d already gone

in. We were on our own in there. Bella wanted to go on every single thing. She still prefers the golf bunker

‘sandpits’ though. Later some more people went in the playground, and I saw them walk out of the main

gate. I checked afterwards and the cable ties were on the floor. I saw the ground staff nearby. Surely if

they’d cut the ties they’d have put them in the bin which is right next to the gate…

We took Bella to the reservoir when Mark got home. It was a bit chilly by then but Bella still loved splashing

in the lake.

Shops open today. News is full of people queueing in crowds outside shops. I can’t believe people were so

desperate to buy stuff they don’t really need.

Mark heard on the radio that the reason why people’s hayfever has been so bad is because the car

exhaust fumes usually dampen the pollen down, but there’s been more in the air as a result of less traffic. I

knew it would have something to do with this bloody virus! I knew there had to be a reason why it has been

so bad. Mystery solved!

Tuesday 16 June

On-site today for a Process mapping meeting. Day 2 of masks being compulsory in hospitals. I arrived at

the office at 8:20 and there was already a volunteer in place handing out masks. The meeting was in the

canteen, because it was the only place big enough for the 5 of us to stay apart. It was not a good choice of

venue. The chefs had the radio on and there was chatter and background noise. The masks made it hard

to hear each other, and some of the others were constantly pulling their mask off to talk. One of my

colleagues fiddled with hers constantly the whole 2 hours we were there. I got the impression from the

office staff too that everyone is really struggling with the discomfort of wearing a mask and difficulty

hearing. I was so glad to rip mine off and get home.

Managed to book tickets for the wildlife park for our day off with Bella next week. We didn’t manage to get

in at Chester Zoo. It’s ridiculous! I’d been refreshing the page for days waiting for them to be released, it’s

like trying to get tickets for Glastonbury!

Wednesday 17 June

Heather got back to me and said there should be enough credits to pay for me to go on the PRINCE2

course. I went on to book and the course was full. Absolutely gutted. I just wanted to cry. I could have had

a proper qualification by the end of the year!

To make matters worse, Philippa phoned about an hour later to say that our buyers’ bank have changed

their mind and now want a full payslip before they can apply for their mortgage. Their appointment is

booked for 4 July. That is so far away, more than 2 weeks later than we were thinking. 2 weeks is a long

time in Coronavirus world, plenty of time for banks to start tightening their criteria against high loan to value.

Thursday 18 June

It poured down all day. Perfectly matched my mood. Mark was working from home so he’d brought a ton of

new arts and crafts from Hobbycraft to keep Bella quiet. I thought I’d try asking Bella to write names in her

cards by copying them off a piece of paper – and she did it! I was amazed as she wrote ‘Daddy’ on the

envelope of Mark’s fathers’ day card. When he had finished we took Bella to the park. She had loads of fun

tough sliding down the almost vertical slopes on the skate park in her slippy puddle suit. It was quite a drop!

Read online that Nationwide have changed their rules to make the highest LTV 85%. I dread to think what

our buyers’ ratio is. I am really beginning to think that it’s all going to fall through. I have decided to

complete the paperwork that we were sent a week ago for preschool. I don’t want to lose Bella’s place in

case we don’t move.

Friday 19 June

I checked the website and there is a course on at the same time – exact same dates and number of credits

only a different type of project management course – and there’s still places! I have heard of Managing

Successful Programmes (MSP) as an alternative to PRINCE2, and it is recognised, although not as well

known as PRINCE. I spoke to Heather and she said I should go for it. I am so pleased I can get a

qualification under my belt this year.

I finally got to meet kylie today halfway between our houses. The rain held off thankfully. Kylie gave me my

birthday present, which was the first one not from Tesco – she had bought me most of it from her holiday in

Italy. I was thrilled with the chilli fairylights! She had also got Bella a little toy lion, and had attached a note

around its necks saying ‘Hello Bella, my name is Aslan’. Bella absolutely loved it; she made toys for him to

play with out of Lego and wrapped him in a snuggly blanket. She even chose him to take to bed.

When I got back we swapped over and Mark went to Gary’s for a drink in his back garden.

Mark has been out for 3 hours. I really hope he doesn’t come back wasted and throwing up like last time –

he hasn’t had more than a couple at a time since lockdown. I also hope he eats the rest of that pie – they

cost a fortune now we have to pay for delivery, and I’d already got it out of the freezer...

Saturday 20 June

Mark was not too drunk when he came home, and I made sure he ate that pie!

We all went for a walk up the forest with Prim and Georgie. Bella did well and loved having Georgie

accompany us. Georgie was more keen to walk than her – he only got picked up because he was running

off and he kept demanding to be put down – but Bella out-ran him when we set them down to race.

We spent the afternoon at my parents’ whilst Mark fixed the inner tube on his motorbike in My dad’s

garage. When we got home we booked a holiday park for April next year. Also pencilled in a date with Kylie

to re-arrange our camping.

Sunday 21 June

Another long walk for Bella, this time with Alan. It was supposed to be Alan, Hayley and Hettie, but Hettie

had a massive melt-down when we got there and Hayley had to stay at home with her. Bella loved jumping

in the mud and the little stream on the way from Alan’s house. It would be wonderful to have these woods

on our doorstep if we get to move here. We had a picnic when we got to the little pond. Bella probably

walked 50% of the 2-mile walk, partly lured on by the promise of a slice of the chocolate cake we made in

the morning. Bella was absolutely knackered when we got back, so was Mark. He had been on a 14-mile

run before we met Alan. Bella watched Sleeping Beauty, and Mark fell asleep at one point. Bella fell asleep

almost instantly at bedtime, which meant that Mark and I got to start our evening at 7pm! Shame we were

both so knackered and needed an early night.

Monday 22 June

Lovely day with Bella. We got through the entire 50-page Disney princess sticker and activity book in the

morning. She helped me make a crumble out of the second batch of gooseberries we picked from the

allotment the other day. We did have a moment when she scribbled over the flowers I had painted on her

plant pot because she thought they were ‘silly’, and I shouted at her for being unkind. She came round,

and I hope she has learned something from it. Despite the tantrum I managed to get her out of the house in

time for Mark’s Skype presentation at 3:30 to meet my parents for a walk. Bella did so amazingly well. She

walked most of the way round, plus lots of bouncing and rolling through the long grasses whilst the rest of

us sat down for 20 minutes. It was so different from when we did the walk with Georgie last August and

she wanted to be carried most of the way. I just carried her twice for a couple of minutes at a time, plus

when she got stung by a nettle. She wanted to carry on back down the second hill but we had to d rag her

back. Then she found a rock and decided it was a good place to put on a show for us. Bella really did me

proud. My eyes were killing after watching a tractor ‘wuffling’ the dry grasses.

On the news it is saying that Boris is going to make an announcement tomorrow about opening pubs and

restaurants. We all think he is going to have to shorten the distance to 1 metre. It would be lovely to go to a

restaurant again, but they are going to have to allow kids to stay with grandparents first! They announced

that shielding is going to end by August. The figure for yesterday was 15, which is really encouraging. We

are so going to celebrate the day it gets to 0! The big test is tomorrow’s figure...

I booked a hair appointment for a month’s time. That was surprisingly easy!

Mark and I ate the crumble and cheese and biscuits whilst watching the latest installment of Snowpiercer.

It truly is the most awesome thing I’ve seen on TV for a long time.

Tuesday 23 June

Bella said she felt sick when we were getting her dressed to go to preschool. She went to the bathroom

and retched but then seemed to forget about it. Mark said she skipped all the way there. It must have

been stuffy in her room or something.

So I was able to start my long-awaited day off to myself (postponed from March) as planned. Started with

catching up on my diary and blitzing chores whilst waiting for the full sun to arrive.

I am reading The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro after Mum recommended it when we met at the park last

week.

Wow! Pubs, restaurants and hairdressers are opening from 4th July – and – we can now meet another

household indoors and stay over! This changes so much! Could it be possible that we could actually go for

a meal out just the two of us?? I was trying to work out what would be safest and easiest – my parents

could come over once Bella was in bed, but I’m worried I wouldn’t be able to clean the house enough. It

doesn’t say if you have to book to go into a pub – will there be crowds of people outside turning up on

spec? I’m happy to wait to see how it all goes before attempting to visit a pub. Either way, there’s so many

permutations to these new guidelines, I’d have to check BBC News every time I go out at this rate!

Wednesday 24 June

Mark and I both had the day off today and we went for a walk. It was extremely hot! We just stayed home

and read our books in the afternoon.

Met Mum and My dad in the park straight after picking Bella up from preschool. Caerwyn, Wendy and

Johnny were there too and they sat with us. We were horrified to see a group of Travellers driving into the

park; there were caravans backed up as far as we could see. Wendy and Mark rang the police.

Thursday 25 June

Took Bella to the wildlife park. It was not quite as hot as yesterday thank goodness. Bella was still tired

though and had to be carried round. And so hungry! She spent all day complaining she was hungry despite

the heat and barely moving. She had a hot cross bun, most of a pain au chocolat, a bag of crisps, raisins,

a banana and a ham and cheese wrap when I had only eaten a croissant. The café experience was almost

as per normal – we got to eat one of their wonderful stone-baked pizzas, but we had to order and pay for it

using a QR code and an app. There was plenty of hand sanitizer around, and thankfully the toilets were

open. A couple of staff had masks but most didn’t wear one. All the animals were outside anyway. Bella

asked to go to the soft play but accepted it when we told her it was closed. She fell asleep in the car on the

way home; the first time in about a year!

The little girls down the road came to play with Bella, but she was in such a foul mood and she was quite

horrible to Isla. I was mortified. We had a BBQ tea. Bedtime was awful. She screamed and cried and

wouldn’t go down for ages.

Friday 26 June

Woke to the news full of people crammed onto Bournemouth beach or crammed outside Anfield celebrating

Liverpool FC winning something or other. I just don’t get it. How can people risk being out in crowds? And

why did people leave all their rubbish on the beach? It’s one thing being stupid enough to even consider

going – I mean people were even parked on roundabouts – surely that would tell you that there’s not

enough room? But how can they leave their rubbish?

Today was the best day off our whole week off. Mark and I went out of his motorbike – my first time on the

back of a bike since before I was pregnant. It was terrifying at first til I got used to it again. It felt so –

normal! I went in my first shop – a gorgeous shop selling what looked like luxury toiletries and bathing

products, but so cheap! I bought Chloe’s birthday present there plus a soap containing a fish inside which I

thought might encourage Bella to wash her hands. But best of all were these limited edition aromatherapy

hand sanitizer sprays – they were amazing! Bought one for myself, Mum and Chloe. Apparently once

they’re gone they’re gone!

We went for a walk in the afternoon to nosey at our buyers’ rented house. I was expecting a shit-hole, but it

was a lovely Victorian terrace – a bit like ours - I can’t see why they’re supposedly so desperate to move.

Finished with a chocolate ice cream from the ice cream shop. Mark says the Travellers have moved on

from the park already. Went to collect my new glasses from the optician’s. Town was pretty busy, there

wasn’t much space to stay 2 meters away from people.

Found out nursery is no longer providing sandwiches at 5pm. No wonder Bella is always hungry. A bit

annoying that we now have to provide her sandwiches and still pay the same amount of fees. It also

doesn’t help that she’s eating them later.

Saturday 27 June

What a rubbish day. Our planned walk with Kylie was cancelled due to the crappy weather. We took Bella

to the park but she had a melt-down so we brought her straight back. She had fun planting cress egg-

heads with the seed. That was the one half-decent part of the whole day.

Sunday 28 June

Our nature reserve walk with Kylie and family was rescheduled for today. The weather held and the kids

had a great time. Bella walked loads more. She was knackered the rest of the afternoon, just watched TV

and wasn’t even interested in tea.

Kylie got her antibody test results back and they were negative. I am very surprised. Also that she got her

test so early compared to our trust – I still haven’t heard anything. Maybe it’s because she’s HR and they

do themselves first!

I snuck out for another little walk, just me and my parents. They said they are not up for going to the pub

any time soon, especially as the experience will be so alien. They offered to look after Bella for us if we

wanted to go to a restaurant and that they were happy for her to sleep over. Although we agreed that

bedtime would be too much. As her bedtime is so lengthy, unpredictable and often so late I don’t really see

how it could work Mark and I going for a meal together right now.

They are considering a local lockdown in places in England because they have had a spate of outbreaks

there. There’s also been outbreaks in meat processing factories all round the country. Seriously, if I lived

on my own I’d be vegetarian by now. There’s got to be something with the meat, there are plenty of other

factories which are cold and noisy.

Monday 29 June

Weather was miserable so mainly stayed indoors. Bella was a good girl; she helped me make blueberry

puff pastry tarts (she was covered in flour when Mark got home) and did jigsaws in the afternoon.

Leicester lockdown confirmed – they must be so gutted. And the poor kids that have only just gone back to

school now having school shut again. It must be soul-destroying.

Tuesday 30 June

Logged on to my work emails and couldn’t believe it! There’s a space available on the PRINCE 2 course! I

now have the dilemma of choosing between the two courses.

Went to Chloe’s to drop off her birthday present. Kylie came too. We were able to sit out in the garden for

most of the time til the rain (not forecast which is why I arranged today) came and we had to go in the

garage. I didn’t feel as comfortable in there as there were 4 of us. Bella didn’t go to sleep til 9:30 so we just

went to bed.

July 2020

Wednesday 1 July

Decided to go with the PRINCE 2 course. I spoke to a few people and everyone agrees that PRINCE is

more recognized and appears on more job descriptions. It’s hard to second-guess how jobs will be

restructured in the future (because they will be – it was on the cards before COVID and now the

government has even less money to fund anyone that isn’t an actual Nurse) but PRINCE seems to be the

safest bet, particularly if I have to look outside the NHS.

I suggested getting a takeaway for tea from the new Lebanese restaurant which opened in town during

lockdown. We really ought to do it now before they open fully on Saturday and the place gets full of people

and their germs. I hadn’t really prepared for it as I’d ate too much lunch, and I left the ordering to Mark, who

was starving. We ended up with 3 starters, 4 pieces of flatbread, several dips and a side-dish of rice and

lentils despite my main already coming with rice. The side-dish was my fault; I couldn’t resist it. There was

so much food! I stuffed myself as much as physically possible and there was still loads left over.

Thursday 2 July

So full that I didn’t eat a thing until 4:30pm.

Mark had a short day at work so I went shopping! I visited Matalan and Next, and came back with 3 pairs

of jeans. My 2 everyday pairs had both got full of holes during lockdown and my ‘best’ pair is starting to

wear thin on the knees. The shops were quiet, particularly Matalan which has a larger floorspace. I couldn’t

try any clothes on, which I don’t really get because that means people are putting items in their cars and

taking them into their houses which could potentially be dirty, then bringing stuff back that doesn’t fit.

Anyway, I was extremely lucky, because all 3 pairs fit! I was delighted! Particularly with the light blue

cropped jeans which were a total gamble, and they look amazing! Don’t know when I am going to get to

wear them though. Oh – and 2 pairs were in the sale at half price!

There was a briefing at 5pm about the schools opening in September. I didn’t watch it. Apparently people

are up in arms about fines for non-attendance. I hope they don’t impose them on families where there is

someone clinically vulnerable, otherwise it should not be relevant. You should send your kid to school

because you give a shit about the rest of their lives, not because you don’t want to lose money.

Friday 3 July

Work was another day that spun itself out whilst I waited for people to call me, and I still didn’t get round to

looking at my PRINCE 2 course. I have so far logged into the portal and created a password. That is

literally it. I need to get on to it over the weekend really – after finishing the presentation for Annie’s Zoom

baby shower on Sunday. Most of what I had already done has to be deleted (guess the weight / date /

name) as the baby was born before we had chance to host the baby shower when it was originally planned!

Mark said Lee has booked to go to the pub tomorrow. Surprise surprise.

Saturday 4 July

This morning’s news was full of people who had been to get their hair cut at midnight. I still have another 3

weeks to go.

Went for another walk with Kylie and family, this time to their stomping ground at their local reservoir. It

was a great place – little beaches, woodland, a castle, and waterfalls! There were squirrels that came

really close, and tiny froglets – one of which we managed to capture and let the children hold. Bella was

captivated. She also enjoyed a little paddle in the stream above the waterfall. She was filthy when we got

back to the car! She fell asleep again on the way home and spent the afternoon watching telly. I did

manage to get tea insider her this time. Mark and I shared a baked camembert after Bella had gone to bed

and watched an awful film called Freaks.

Sunday 5 July

Mark went for a run in the morning, and as it was sunny Bella and I ventured outside. Bella heard one of

the kids up the road playing in his garden and went up to say hello. Our neighbour invited us in, pulled up a

chair and set about making us a drink. We ended up sat on the wall outside our house with the kids playing

in our garden. Half an hour later our neighbour mentioned that one of the dinner ladies at the school where

she works came down with Covid symptoms – whilst at the school – and tested positive. Then less than 2

minutes later she said she was feeling ‘exhausted and fuzzy’. Unbelievable. She’s got possible Covid

symptoms after a colleague has been shedding all over the workplace and she’s had me in her garden

sitting on her furniture and making me drinks! I don’t know what to do now, I don’t know if I should see my

parents. I’m a bit pissed off with her, she should never have exposed us. Bella brought so much stuff out

for them both to play with; games with lots of little plastic bits and a battery-operated dragon, the gorgeous

soft octopus Kylie bought her and Larry the Lamb – my own toy from when I was Bella’s age which is

almost 40 years old

Ironically, Bella has been talking about germs all day.

Mark took Bella to the park afterwards so I could set up my Zoom meeting and finally start my PRINCE 2

course. After setting up the meeting and uploading my presentation, going back downstairs to receive my

afternoon tea delivered by James, bringing in the washing when it started to rain, and disinfecting all the

chuffing toys and games Bella brought out to play with Nate I got 15 minutes of my course done before

Mark came back because Bella needed a poo. I was able to work through a lot more as Mark carried on

with Bella so I felt I had achieved quite a lot in the end. I think it will take a lot more than 15 hours if I

include the revision, webinars and the exam. The e-learning sessions alone will take around 10 hours –

there’s 15 of them.

The baby shower went really well, the presentation worked, everyone loved the quizzes and games – well

worth all the effort I put in. I felt sick at the end though, and I’d only eaten 2/3 of the afternoon tea. I had to

bum the rest on Mark. I don’t think I like afternoon teas much! Although I do like the experience when we

go out.

Monday 6 July

Longest morning ever. Texted my neighbour to ask if she was feeling any better. No reply. Her car was

gone though so I assume she dragged herself to work this morning, into a school full of children. Bella

rescued Larry the Lamb from quarantine when I wasn’t looking, and when I told her to put him back, she

burst into tears. Poor little love.

No call from the estate agent either updating me on our buyers’ mortgage situation. She had said she

would ring them today; I can only assume that she hasn’t been able to get hold of them. Which is worrying.

I’d have thought they would be straight on the phone asking what to do next.

The weather brightened up in the afternoon, so I took Bella for a walk with my parents. I was wrestling with

the decision all morning. Bella enjoyed it through and got some good exercise.

Tuesday 7 July

Already pubs are having to close to dep clean and test al their staff because someone who went at the

weekend has tested positive. I can’t believe pubs are shutting because someone who was in there for an

hour or two tested positive, when my neighbour’s school are carrying on as normal when the person

handing out all the kids’ food who has actually been ill whilst on the premises has the virus. I texted some

other teachers I know, and they said if one of the teachers got it the whole class would have to self-isolate

for 14 days.

Our estate agent rang Mark back this morning with some good news, our buyers have had their mortgage

approved and they’re waiting on the paperwork before initiating the survey. There’s rumours of stamp duty

being scrapped – Rishi Sunak is making a statement tomorrow…

Wednesday 8 July

Mark and I listened to Rishi Sunak’s statement live over lunch. It was unreal – not only did he announce

the scrapping of stamp duty for properties under £500,000 – which will save us TWELVE THOUSAND

POUNDS – but VAT is going down to 5% on all hospitality-related spending, and he is giving everyone in

the country a £10 voucher to spend on meals out during August!

I am trying not to think about the stamp-duty money because it could still all go wrong what with the baby,

but Mark is already planning how to spend it! Whereas I spent the evening trying to work out how we could

get our meal out voucher – it’s limited to Mon-Wed, so we really only have Monday as it’s not safe for my

parents to have Bella straight after pre-school with germs all over her clothes and hair. Hopefully

somewhere nice will be open and we can get in. Or possibly a lunchtime between work…

Thursday 9 July

Released Larry the Lamb from quarantine today. Bella squealed and wrapped her arms and legs around

him. Then abandoned him at the bottom of my bed for the rest of the day.

Met Terri and Isla in the park. It was the first time the girls have seen each other in person. They were so

funny, taking off their wellies and running through the wet grass and puddles in their socks and tights.

I was just on time for my Antibody test at the hospital. It was such a nice lad who took my blood. It was

very quick and painless, no problems finding a vein this time. He said the results should be ready in 2 -3

days.

Friday 10 July

Nicole texted me at 7am to book my pedicure in for Thursday. I am thrilled she can re-open.

Watch Rishi Sunak on BBC Breakfast. What a fucking bell-end. He was being interviewed about what he is

doing about all the people (apparently over 3 million) who have not benefitted from furlough or support for

self-employed. He was shown clips of this guy who actually said he was on the verge of suicide, and he

blatantly didn’t give a toss.

I got the call about my antibody test results at lunchtime – as I thought, it was negative. I’m very impressed

with how quick it was though!

Mark went to the pub with Gary, Will and my dad. He said he’d be back to pick Bella up. I got a text at 4:30

asking me to pick her up! I took her to the park as the sun was out, and there met Wendy and Caerwyn. I

have rarely seen Bella so excited. She was jumping up and down screaming “Yay the park is open!” (you’d

never know she’d been to the playground yesterday). It was 7 o clock before we could tear them away. Got

back and Mark was home, pissed as a newt. He said he’d been all round the park looking for us. I can’t

believe he missed all 5 of us. Despite the state he was in he insisted on putting Bella to bed, and that he

still wanted the tea I had planned. He fell asleep on Bella’s bedroom floor. I left out his portion for him to

throw away for himself and banished him to the spare room. Apparently the pub was ‘busy’. There’s no

way any of them would have been social distancing.

Apparently Boris has told people to go back to work. No one knows if that relates to people who have been

out of work, or those working from home. People think it’s so office workers can buy Costa Coffee and

sandwiches. Not that I ever did that anyway. I’m hoping our work don’t want us in – those already in the

office are only just getting away without having to wear masks all day because there’s enough space. If

more of us start coming back then we’ll all have to wear masks. For 8 hours. That would be horrible. I’m

sure my manager won’t expect me to go back in but I worry about peer pressure if everyone else is going

back to the office and it being the case where they have to set up a Teams meeting just to accommodate

me because I’m being ‘difficult’. I don’t really want to go back to the office regularly whilst COVID is still

around. Offices are the worst for spreading bugs.

Saturday 11 July

Down to stay with Mark’s parents. We have all been so excited all week, especially Bella. She was a bit

tired and quiet in the end. The weather was disappointing; we tried to stay outdoors as much as possible,

but it was so cold. Mark’s mum put on a wonderful spread – spicy chicken goujons, salad, quiche and

hummous, followed by homemade bakewell tart and trifle. We had to stop her putting a pizza in as well!

Bella wolfed down 3 fish fingers, lots of chips and a whole beetroot for her lunch.

I must’ve used my bodyweight in hand sanitizer. There were about 5 bottles dotted around downstairs.

When you’re in someone’s house and you’re relaxed it’s hard to remember about staying 2 metres apart.

No one else was bothering anyway. I kept worrying about all the surfaces I was touching, I am so scared of

infecting them. Mark’s dad says Pendle and Blackburn are next in line for a local lockdown. That’s right

round the corner from them.

Mark started coughing after Bella had gone to bed, and said he felt wheezy. I was literally sweating. I had

visions of driving back home in the middle of the night trying to navigate round the motorways and

remember the way home in the dark. Then remembered that I had been drinking. I slept in Bella’s room in

case she got up in the night. Instead I got up in the night to check on Mark. His breathing sounded fine. I

slept soundly til Bella woke at 5:30, climbed in my bed and wriggled for the next hour. Mark woke us at

8am.

Sunday 12 July

Bella was back to her normal bubbly self. We took her (on her scooter) to the local park and we had it to

ourselves. We had a chilled out day whilst Mark’s mum played with Bella and did arts and crafts with her.

Bella was so happy. I read Slimming World magazines and got some recipe ideas. The weather was much

nicer, even nice enough for Bella to have a bath outside in her inflatable boat that we dug out of the car.

Monday 13 July

Another week of lousy weather ahead. It’s starting to get me down. We barely get out when it’s not nice,

and I can’t get any washing dry. We’re getting through tons of arts and craft supplies, and this morning I

made the mistake of planting a grass-seed dinosaur and a pizza herb garden which required “5 days of

sunshine”. The chilies we planted 2 weeks ago haven’t even sprouted.

Our estate agent rang after I left a long voicemail panicking about everybody’s searches taking 2 months.

She returned my call after checking a few things. Apparently the buyers’ solicitor said searches take 10

days max. Apparently they do it differently. It seems a bit odd that our solicitors would choose to opt for a

system which means they have to wait 6 weeks longer before they get paid, so I’m a bit skeptical. She has

asked the buyer to chase the survey. Apparently they won’t initiate the searches until they survey report

comes back. Seriously this woman needs to get her skates on. Her baby is due in just over a MONTH.

Bella’s dance class contacted us to say they are offering private lessons with a hope of starting classes

again in September. I asked Bella - as she was dancing round the kitchen – if she fancied a lesson at the

studio just her and her teacher and she said yes. So I’ve booked her in for August.

On the other hand, the place in Wales where Mark, Lee, Will and my dad are planning to stay this weekend

rang up and had to cancel their booking as – despite Wales re-opening hospitality from today – their council

has decided to stay shut til August. Mark managed to find somewhere else 60 miles away outside the

council border, but the owner of that pub must have been devastated. Random decisions like that are going

to cripple people.

Tuesday 14 July

No call from the estate agent.

Took Bella to the park with a packed lunch after preschool and met up with Caerwyn and Johnny. Left

about 6:15 so we weren’t back too late. Whatever it was cracked her bedtime routine for the night – Bella

was asleep at 7:45.

Ordered some re-usable masks online. All the suppliers were literally selling out as we were on the site.

Whole stores had sold out since we looked in the morning.

Wednesday 15 July

Very busy day at work – I am now responsible for filling out a spreadsheet containing all the revised

outpatient clinic templates which show when patients are to come in to the hospital and when they can

attend by phone. This will then have to be shuffled to ensure minimum numbers of people in the

department at any one time. It’s huge.

Mark rang the vendors’ agent in the end - we got quite an update – the vendors’ searches are all complete

which is a big relief. However the owners of the house they want to move into have given 18 August as a

deadline for completion otherwise they are pulling out and putting their house back on the market! Mark left

2 messages for our agent but she never returned his call. Very frustrating. I can only assume she’s not

ringing back because she has not heard from our buyer. Which is extremely worrying.

Apparently the vendors are due to get married; their wedding was postponed during lockdown. They are

having a marquee in their garden. Only they don’t know which house to book it in to.

Thursday 16 July

I had my pedicure today. Mark had found some re-usable masks – at a café of all places – and bought me

a couple of really pretty ones. They are smaller than normal so they actually fit me. I am very excited!

Masks will be the latest fashion accessory of course. I wore it at Nicole’s and it was very comfortable. I’m

glad I went – the irritation and dry skin on my right foot has turned out to be Athlete’s Foot. I am more

paranoid about passing that on than Covid.

I rang our agent as I just couldn’t bear waiting any longer. She said that our buyer has rung the bank, but

they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell her whether they were doing a desktop survey or needed to access our

property or give any idea of timescales. That’s just the worst news. I am seriously thinking now that our

house move just won’t happen. We were so close. It all seemed so easy once we’d got the chain in place.

That’s basically 2 months of nothing before we’ve even started. There just won’t be time now to find

somewhere else and start again before we have to apply for Bella’s school. And both preschools I have put

her name down for are asking for things like payment and documentation. I literally don’t know what to do.

There is nothing I can do. Literally nothing.

Friday 17 July

Mark set off on his motorbike with Gary, Will and my dad for their trip to Wales. According to the various

updates throughout the day it looked like fun. I was so jealous that they all went out for a curry.

Saturday 18 July

Went to stay with Mum. I’d made a lemon drizzle cake and lamb curry in the morning which I took for us to

have. Weather very horrible so we were forced to stay indoors. Bella loved the curry and ate loads.

Mum and I watched Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia 2 after Bella had gone to bed.

Sunday 19 July

Walked the dogs on the yellow brick road.

Bella was very tired and had an early night. Then I mopped the floor, wrapped the ebay parcels, ate cheese

& biscuits for tea and watched 3 Friday Night Dinners.

Monday 20 July

Clock watching til Mark back. Mum came to watch Bella whilst I posted the parcels at the post office.

Still no phonecalls from any estate agents.

Tuesday 21 July

Take Bella to the park to meet Bella again. The girls have another good run around, and re-visit the

sandpits where they take their shoes off again.

Get my hair cut at long last! I was the only other customer in the salon. Wearing a mask was very

impractical; it kept pinging off when my hairdresser tried to cut the hair near there. And it made my ears

stick out so she’d catch them with the comb. My hairdresser was saying that her fella is a mortgage

underwriter. He says it’s been madness since the stamp-duty announcement, and that it’s causing so

many delays in the system. I told her to tell him that if he comes across out buyers’ case to hurry it along. I

doubt she caught their name through the bloody mask.

Wednesday 22 July

Very very busy day at work. I had to write a paper to go to the Executive Team in one day. I got myself into

this mess by volunteering (it needed to be in on Thursday but being part-time that meant today) but I’ll do

anything to get myself noticed!

Thursday 23 July

Yet another grey, wet, miserable day. I just don’t know what to do on days like this now there’s no soft play.

I invited Prim and Georgie round, and spent all morning cleaning: worrying about Covid, and Athlete’s Foot,

and Georgie putting something in his mouth and choking. Poor Bella kept calling for me but I was too busy.

Georgie is now of course beyond putting things in his mouth, but last time he was round (Christmas) that’s

all he did, and Mark and I had to dash round scooping everything up. They ended up in the allotment in the

rain.

I heard from our estate agent again but there is still no movement. She said that there’s lots of delays with

surveys at the moment, and another house she’s selling had to wait 8 weeks.

Friday 24 July

First day of compulsory masks in shops, and I had to post something for ebay, and get some food to make

for Caerwyn’s birthday picnic tomorrow. Despite this, town was rammed. I’d have thought everyone would

have gone yesterday instead to avoid having to wear a mask, but no.

Long-awaited sleepover at Kylie’s and take-away from their favourite restaurant, which Kylie has practically

lived in since lockdown. It was so good to have a drink with Kylie and catch up properly. We sat outside

under the gazebo that is permanently standing in her garden, drinking rose prosecco. The food was

delicious, but not enough of it! I was only just polite enough to refrain from asking if there was anything

else in her fridge. We stayed up til 1am. That is probably the latest we have stayed up if we’ve not been

out. I can tell lockdown has taken its toll on us though, we were not as silly and giddy as we normally are.

Kylie was exhausted, and I was just feeling down about the house and everything. Normally seeing Kylie

lifts any bad mood, but I can’t get excited about these things at the moment. It feels like there is a weight

settling on me. I am beginning to realise that all this; the masks, the restrictions, the worry, is here to stay.

Nothing will ever be as easy again.

Saturday 25 July

Kylie makes me a big fry up when I get up in the morning with a fuzzy head. I’m still hungry so she makes

me a nutella crepe. Still hungry when I get home so I eat chocolate. Make the savoury eccles cakes to

contribute to the picnic for Caerwyn’s birthday party, and Mark goes to the park at lunch time to help Wendy

and Johnny erect the gazebos. Manage to get Bella there on time despite numerous outfit changes. The

party is a huge success, and the weather was warm and dry – and more importantly everyone turned up

despite the forecast being dreadful. The treasure hunt was loads of fun, everyone joined in. The park

setting really worked, as the girls migrated to the playground, then the ‘sandpit’, and some of them

discovered tiny froglets in the steam. We were still easily able to corral them at base for party games. All

the girls played together, no one fell out or had tears. Wendy made an amazing cake of Elsa with a huge

dress made out of dark blue icing. The food dye turned the kids’ tongues dark blue. Wendy said she made

it when she was drunk.

I am thinking of using Caerwyn’s party as a blueprint for Bella’s 4th birthday in October. I don’t know what

to do about it. We’ve often had fine weather on Bella’s birthday, but October can be very cold and

miserable, I definitely wouldn’t consider an outdoor party normally. But we’re not going to be in the house

by then (if at all), and soft play etc definitely won’t be open. We may all be in lockdown again. Bella will be

devastated if she doesn’t get a birthday party. It’s the one thing she is consistently interested in, and she

has talked about it throughout the year since her last one. I don’t think she will mind if it is not in a proper

venue or there’s no entertainer, as long as her friends are there. But I don’t know if I’ll even be able to

make that happen for her.

Sunday 26 July

Mark takes Bella to the cinema to see Trolls World Tour whilst I get a good 2 hours in on PRINCE 2. I have

neglected it for the last 2 weeks due to being away and work pressures. I am a third of the way through the

course now.

I have given in to the temptation to comment on the image an acquaintance posted of herself on Facebook

wearing a mask with a hideous zombie face. Along the lines of – I hope I don’t bump into you when I’m

with my 3 year old daughter, masks are scary enough for small children as it is. She thinks she is so

bloody clever, wearing her fear like a badge of honour, pronouncing apocalyptic judgement upon people

she sees not wearing a mask. She needs to chill out.

Monday 27 July

Bella was a very good little girl today, despite being cooped up indoors with all the rain. The pizza garden

has gone mouldy. The grass dinosaur has done very well, but I have noticed that it looks like a great big

cock.

We bite the bullet and take Bella to our favourite out of town restaurant. We have been training her for a

week; we told her that the reason we have not been out for 4 months is because restaurants no longer

allow babies that don’t sit still in their chair and be quiet. Well she behaved impeccably! I was so so proud

of her. We took lots of games and colouring books, and she just got one with them like a proper grown up

girl. She was polite, quiet, and very happy. I shared my beef bourguignonne with her, and she had some

of Daddy’s chips. She used a big knife and fork. The service was very good, the staff just wore visors. And

the food was excellent! We shall take her again!

Tuesday 28 July

What a day – phone call in the morning letting us know that the top of the chain is putting their house back

on the market and so are another part of the chain and advising us that we should too. The a few hours

later, our agent rang again to say that our buyer has had their mortgage offer pulled. And that’s why we

were hearing nothing about the survey. I can’t believe the bank did that, after making them wait and telling

them they could still have it. I wish we had known even just a couple of days earlier. So the chain is broke

at both ends!

Mark and I checked Rightmove that night. There’s barely anything left. There’s literally nothing in Titown,

even when we go right over our budget. Everything’s been cleared out since the stamp duty

announcement. I would have thought loads of people would put their houses on the market, but that doesn’t

seem to have happened. At least there’s equally nothing in the range for our house that we need to sell, so

I am confident it should get snapped up. I just fear we have run out of time. If we lose Parkhill we have no

other options.

Wednesday 29 July

Our house was back on Rightmove first thing this morning, and we had 2 viewings booked within hours –

including a cash buyer! Skived off half the day at work cleaning and tidying. We went to bed at 11pm after

clearing, cleaning, and baking 2 pastries and a cake to take to Chester Zoo tomorrow!

Thursday 30 July

Up at crack sparrow-fart so we could make sure the house was spotless before leaving for the Zoo. We

only set off 20 minutes later than we were aiming for, which is usually what happens anyway.

It was so hot that we barely ate any of our picnic; half the sausage and bacon plait went in the bin, and all

the cake came home uneaten. Bella was a bit zapped by the heat. She was more interested in buying a toy

flamingo from the gift shop.

Feedback from the viewings – the first guy put in an offer (10k below the asking price) as soon as the

viewing was done. We wanted to wait for the cash buyer so that we can be in a better position to try and

salvage the chain and hold on to Parkhill I was starting to lose it when our agent said the top person’s

agent was still on holiday so she still hadn’t been able to get a message to them that we are now in a much

better position and please please could they hold on for us! I said that we can’t respond to any offer until we

know the position at the top of the chain. If we can salvage our chain, then we need to go for speed, even if

we lose money. But if not, we need as much money as possible because there are so few options. Our

agent did get to speak to our vendor directly though. They have three viewings booked already, plus they

have found an alternative house to view for themselves. He did say that they would check on our progress

first before accepting anything, which is a relief.

The cash buyer came back and said they want to arrange a second viewing so her husband can see it.

Argh!! That’s booked for tomorrow. I just hope we don’t run out of time.

In corona news – some places in England have gone into local lockdown. That affects Mark’s parents.

They can still all go to the pub apparently, just not see anyone they actually know and care about. Which

makes zero sense.

Friday 31 July

Skived off work a bit more to further eliminate any evidence of small child and cat in advance of our cash

buyers’ second viewing. The whole family came along this time, and asked Mark a million questions. He

even had to read off our bank account to tell them what the utilities bills were. I went for a walk in the park

so we didn’t overwhelm them with us both there. They were nearly an hour. I spent 20 minutes walking

round and round the block wishing I’d brought a drink and my book. Mark reckons they’re definitely going to

put an offer in. Our agent rang at 2 pretty much thinking the same thing, but they had another viewing to go

to so they’d ring back at 3. 3, 4 and 5 came along, and the phone never rang. I was literally beside myself.

Plus, we had visitors. Bella was finally going to see her cousins for the first time since Christmas. We all

realized at about 10pm last night that Lynda and Phil are also in the northern lockdown zone. I wasn’t

aware at first that they’re not allowed to see us even outdoors. I don’t get it – they are allowed to sit indoors

in a pub in a room full of strangers, but not with people they know. Fuck that. We had them round anyway.

We stayed outside – which was no hardship in a 30 degree mini-heatwave – so as far as we were

concerned that was perfectly fine.

Met them in the queue outside the ice cream shop when I’d finished work. I was a bit thrown. I was worried

about Bella, but she was too excited about getting ice cream to notice. They all seem pretty serious about

social distancing. They sat at a different table. I wasn’t quite sure how to be, and my head was so mashed

with the house thing. Mark said I was ‘subdued’. We had a BBQ in the allotment, which was great. Bella

played hide and seek with her cousins, one was up a tree for ages before Bella found him. Bella organized

us all in a game of duck duck goose.

Our estate agent rang me 10 minutes after they left. The poor woman had just got home after a day full of

viewings, phonecalls, and collecting a birthday cake. She eventually got to speak to the cash buyers, who

have also put in an offer of £210,000. We agreed to wait for Parkhill to confirm they will stick with us. She

did get to speak to the top people’s agent in the end, which was good.

Latest virus news – cases are rising again and Boris says we have reached the limit of how much lockdown

can be eased. Plans to re-open the last few places have been cancelled. Beauticians can’t re-start facials.

Poor Nicole. Couples are unlikely to be allowed up to 30 guests at their wedding. Poor Parkhill people.

August 2020

Saturday 1 August

Mark has got athletes foot. Clearly we are rubbish at controlling an outbreak.

Two phonecalls from our estate agent. The vendor wanted to check if he had any offers from yesterday’s

viewings (4, not 3!). Apparently he denied that he wants more money. The second time I spoke to her she

had guilt-tripped him into agreeing to stick with us after he had been unable to get further feedback from his

viewings. I relayed the counter-offer instructions Mark and I had agreed. It will be a kick in the teeth to have

to accept less than what we agreed with our original buyers (£215,000), but we need our cash buyers. She

said she’d contact them later this afternoon as she is having a family birthday party. She was meant to be

off today. God the poor woman needs a break. She really has gone above and beyond for us. I think if

this falls through it will break her too.

We otherwise had a nice relaxing day, playing in the garden, going to the park and watching Trolls World

Tour on Amazon. Bella had thirds of my curry. She had 11 (12 if lentils count) different plant-based foods

just today – I read an article last week that said 30 different kinds in a week will help boost your immune

system.

We didn’t hear back from our estate agent, but it doesn’t matter, I just hope she got to relax and enjoy her

party. I reckon it’ll all get sorted Monday. I don’t think we’ll get the money we want, but we still win on

stamp duty. I just hope to God the vendors doesn’t get a good offer in the meantime and change his mind…

I also feel bad for our poor first viewer – it’ll be 5 days before anyone gets back to him, and that’s just not

on. I can’t bear to mess people around.

They’re saying that pubs may have to shut from September to allow schools to open. I think that’s the right

thing. I’m just trying to cram in as much as possible during this month. I texted Wendy about a curry, and

jumped when Alan texted offering a night out in town. I probably wouldn’t have gone otherwise as it’s quite

a big step and one of the riskiest things I could be doing, but it’s the only chance I’ll get. It kind of feels like

the government has been trying to stave off the inevitable for as long as possible, to buy us all time. This is

getting real now, it’s downhill from here. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

Sunday 2 August

In our continued effort to support the economy, we ventured to the food hall for pastries. Bella ate more

than me. Mark took her to the park whilst I did another couple of hours’ study.

The cash buyers accepted our counter-offer, so we have secured them. Just need to know what’s

happening at the top of the chain – we still don’t know if our vendors have anywhere to move to.

Monday 3 August

Took Bella to meet my mum and the dogs for a walk. I checked the weather beforehand, but shortly after

we got there it started lashing with rain. I had packed sunhats, cream, a spare outfit, but nothing for the

rain. We all got soaked, and Bella was bawling her eyes out. It was an absolute disaster. When we got

home – which was a short drive away, it hadn’t rained here at all.

The evening was better – we all went for a curry with Wendy, Johnny and Caerwyn. The girls were super-

excited, and Bella ate tons of fish tikka! They were very unruly, but at least we managed to contain them at

our table. It was starting to fill up when we asked for the bill, and it took so long for them to bring it over

that the girls were turning feral and we were attracting a few funny looks!

Tuesday 4 August

The survey on our house is booked for 3 weeks’ time. That is such a long wait. But it doesn’t really matter,

because our vendors lost the house they wanted, so we’re all just stuck now. It’s highly unlikely they will

still get the original house they’d gone for, even after having an offer accepted and going through the

survey and all the searches. He shouldn’t have wasted all that time chasing after this other house; he

should have begged the original to stick with them now that we have a cash buyer.

Wednesday 5 August

Another test for us – we left Bella with my parents’ so we could go for a meal out. She refused to wash her

hands when we got there let alone have a bath. She seemed happy enough when we left though. We ate at

the pub round the corner from my parents’. It was pretty packed in there! Our table was very close to

another one. We enjoyed our meal though, decent pub grub, and great to be eating out together!

We had a drink at another two pubs as well. It was in the back of my mind how embarrassing it would be if

we were contacted by Track and Trace and we had to list all the pubs we’d been to.

Thursday 6 August

Today was the day I had finally got an appointment to cut Bella’s hair, for the very first time. She’d started

to need it after Christmas, but we were so busy with birthday parties etc that I didn’t get round to it, and

then it was lockdown. I’d settled for my hairdresser in the end, rather than that special kids’ place 20 miles

away that’s probably booked up til next Christmas.

Only thing was, I’d been asked to get her hair washed beforehand. Which is an enormous challenge,

particularly as she was at my parents’. Bella wanted her hair washing at home. Managed to get that done

and catch the bin men (Mark had forgotten to take the recycling out) and get to the hairdresser’s in plenty of

time.

Bella loved it. She wasn’t fazed at all with all the masks, sanitizing etc – it was the first time she’d seen me

have to wear a mask and the first time she’d been anywhere with people wearing masks. I was so stressed

I was sweating. Bella was just in awe of the whole salon experience. My hairdresser only took an inch off,

and we were there for just 15 minutes, 10 of which was COVID business and paying. When we got in the

car Bella said “I love the hairdresser’s, can I go again?”

Bella was hyper for ages afterwards, she lined all her toys up on the kitchen floor, ordered Alexa to play

‘One More time’ (from the Trolls movie) and gave a full-on dance performance. Even when I got her in her

ballet outfit ready for her one to one dance lesson, she just wanted to show off her hair.

Bella’s lesson could have gone either way, but she was super-excited, and absolutely loved it! She was

perhaps a little over-excited and distracted, but she was so happy. And so was I!

Had a Skype call with Auntie Pat in the evening. They are fine, they’ve not been out much, but they’re still

well. I was just trying to dodge questions about whether we’ve moved house yet.

Friday 7 August

Pub with friends. We sat outside in the beer garden. It was fine! We went to another pub beer garden and it

was all good. We went to another 2 pubs, and there was only one where although it was outside, it was so

small and cramped that I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave. Otherwise I had a really good night! All

the pubs had different procedures – from having to scan a barcode to input your contact details and

sanitize before you go in – to just wandering in at will.

Saturday 8 August

We went camping! We managed to find a little site not far away which was still allowing tents. Most sites

aren’t, and those that are fully booked. We only managed to get in because we were going Sat-Mon. The

weather was gorgeous, so we were really lucky. Bella was mega-excited. Mark had bought her tons of

Trolls stuff to occupy her whilst he put the tent up. We just played around the tent and ate a chili tha t I’d

made that morning. There was a playground, and that was all enough for her. She fell asleep instantly,

snuggled in our arms at 10pm.

Sunday 9 August

Had a really weird dream – we had gone to view another house, and it was massive. The estate agent was

eating toast and dropped the crust on the floor. So I shouted at him, in the manner I would shout at Bella for

throwing food on the floor. We decided against the house when Mark discovered Bella’s room had an

infestation of lobsters.

Went for a walk where there were lots of tunnels for Bella to ride through on her scooter with the wheels

that light up in the dark. We visited Morrisons on the way back to pick up supplies for a BBQ, and Bella was

beside herself with excitement – she has not been in a supermarket for 5 months. She was dancing and

singing in the aisles. She didn’t give a rat’s ass about everyone being in masks.

Bella went to the playground in the afternoon and made friends with a girl called Megan, and we made

friends with her parents – Mark and the other dad were drinking beer at the picnic table together!

Monday 10 August

Got up and packed up for 9am as Mark was going into work. Bella was really sad that we were leaving the

campsite and going home.

Met Terri and Isla in the park. It was a sweltering hot day, and Bella was too hot and tired. Fortunately we

found a giant pinecone as we were leaving, which cheered her right up!

The Covid symptom tracker app had a survey all about what food we’ve been eating. God I have eaten so

much crap since this started. I really need to cut back, especially if I am to fight this virus if I do catch it. I

have been thinking this for weeks. I am starting to get a gut – I am looking more apple than pear every

day. My meals are still healthy, but then there’s the crisps, chocolate, ice cream… At first I ate and drank

because it was the only pleasure we were allowed, but now it’s a stress thing – it’s like I need to take

action, but I can’t, because there’s nothing I can do, so I just eat, because there’s something subconscious

that feels like that is taking some sort of action, I have to be DOING something, even if it is just shoveling

crisps into my mouth. It’s that break-time in between work tasks or Bella tasks when I check my emails for

news from the solicitors, check Rightmove, check the news, then reach for the snacks. Then I have a drink

as a reward if I manage to stop myself having dessert.

I guess if I recognize that this is what’s happening I can do something about it.

Tuesday 11 August

Another mega busy day at work with the outpatient clinic templates. It was extremely hot. Bella fell out with

her friend (again) at the park and we had to drag both girls home.

Wednesday 12 August

So excited all day ahead of Mark and I having a second meal out, this time at our favourite tapas

restaurant. We both had meetings that went on beyond 5, so we rushed to get Bella then had to return

home to get changed. We started off with a Sangria outside at the other tapas place to get us in the

Spanish mood. Our tapas at was amazing, the best meal we’ve had in a long time! We were both so happy

and had such a wonderful time.

Thursday 13 August

Mark and I treated ourselves to breakfast outside with a croissant and orange juice. I texted one of the

mums I’m friends with who knows the mum that Wendy mentioned who’s son is in Bella’s year and is going

to apply for the school we are hoping to get Bella into. Of all the mums – all the 20 or so mums I met when

I was on mat leave – the ONE mum that I got off on the wrong foot with. It was all my fault, I kept getting

her child’s name wrong. I kept coming across her at various things, and the third time I called her little boy

by the wrong name she was a bit pissed off. I mean – I’d just had a baby and was trying to retain all the

information about how to look after a baby, and I had met so many other mums and had to learn their

names, their kids’ names, their partners’ names, what they did for a job, whether they had a natural birth or

a cesearean – my brain had just reached saturation point by the time she introduced herself to me. How

was I to know that out of all these mums she is the ONE key contact? The ONE child who could be going

to Bella’s school??

Oh, and I’ve just found out Bella has started playing with that kid all the time at nursery. FFS.

Thinking I might contact her on facebook. But scared she will be snotty with me and think I’m stalking her.

I sent her a message in the end.

Mark found a nice house. It’s the other side from Titown, and a very nice area. The local school is very

oversubscribed and smaller, but it’s also near another one of the schools we wanted to look at before

lockdown stopped us. It’s one of those houses you really have to view to get a proper idea of it. I think the

bedrooms look small, and so do the gardens. There are two of them though, so more likely to get the sun.

It’s also £60,000 cheaper. Mark really wants to view it so I agreed to book a viewing tomorrow.

Friday 14 August

I never heard back from that girl. I must have freaked her out. She must think she’ll never get rid of me if

she replies.

Booked a viewing for that house for tomorrow. They haven’t found anywhere to buy so they’re in no better

position than Parkhill I guess if we really love it… I can’t see us ditching Parkhillfor another house in an

area we haven’t researched near a school we haven’t seen, which is not that close that we’d be guaranteed

to get a place… but it’ll be fun to look at another house.

I also got to speak to the head at the preschool in Titown, she said she is taking bookings for 15 minute

short visits. Bella will get to see inside the building, meet the staff, and see a small number of children in

situ. She said there’d be 12 max at first. So not too intimidating. Booked for 3 September. So we have til

then to decide.

Saturday 15 August

We both really loved that house! It was in such a gorgeous area, literally across the road from a park, and

according to the vendor who showed us round there are loads of children living on the street. The house is

so full of light and air, and the kitchen is the best bit. There is an island, and the whole thing is in a square

with the dining table and a sofa, so everyone would be congregating in there and able to talk and relax. The

playroom connects directly to the lounge so everyone could be together but the toys etc would be in

another space. The drawback is that the rooms are smaller than Parkhill, and the garage is smaller than

what we have now. We would struggle to store everything we have, although Bella would love the walk-in

wardrobe! The gardens were both amazing, and I love them so much. One is south facing and gets the

sun all evening. It is smaller though, and a lot of the things Mark was planning for Parkhill would not be

feasible there.

The big game-changer though, is that there is no chain – the vendor will move into their own rental

accommodation, so if we want it, we’re pretty much guaranteed! We took action straight away – I rang their

estate agent and registered interest and left a voicemail for our agent to contact the vendor to see whether

they are planning to move out and rent when we’re ready to go.

Sunday 16 August

I had the morning to myself to carry on with PRINCE2 – but all I could think about was the houses. I am

really not comfortable with the uncertainty around the schools – the nice one is over-subscribed so even

though we’ll be in the catchment we risk not getting in. The other schools are in really rough areas even

though one has a Good rating with Ofsted. It all hangs on what the vendors are thinking about renting.

They have 5 kids so it looks like it would be difficult for them.

I went for a walk round the area later, and up to the school. It is in a lovely setting, and a shorter walk than

we’d face at Parkhill. It looks very overgrown and I couldn’t see much. It is just a bit small for what we were

thinking for Bella. I just love the area though, I saw so many kids and everyone had cars like ours.

I went to my parents’ to talk it over with them. They both think we should absolutely go for this new house,

particularly as we’d be guaranteed a swift move. I can tell Mark prefers Parkhill. Although we would not

need to do anything with this new house (plus it is £57k cheaper cos it’s not in Titown) Mark says he wants

projects and “will still be building things when he’s 90”. I don’t want to wait until I’m 90 for a nice garden. I

don’t even want to wait until I’m 40, and that’s next year.

Monday 17 August

Woke in the middle of the night in a panic – we can’t ditch Parkhill – I can’t sacrifice my daughter’s future

for a gorgeous kitchen and evenings sat outside in the sun!

I don’t get hold of our agent until lunchtime. And she doesn’t get hold of the vendor at all.

Tuesday 18 August

I am absolutely exhausted now, and feeling slightly sick. I just want this to be over. It’s so unfair, we had

everything in the bag, and had we acted even 2 days earlier we would have saved everything. I want to be

able to concentrate on my little girl, and on my studies. I want to be able to start packing, and begin the

next chapter in our lives. I want to cook Christmas dinner, for the first time, before I turn 40.

Our estate agent does check in with me, but she still can’t contact the vendor. It must be as I feared, that

he is abroad on his honeymoon, and we won’t get any answers until it is too late. We are going to have to

gamble on a guess.

We got the pack through from our local pre-school. It looked so lovely, and they were offering a 2 hour

settling in session with a small group. I have put it off for long enough; I need to let them know tomorrow

that we won’t accept the place. I don’t even know if we’re even allowed to use preschools as additional

settings now – nursery sent us an email saying the council were considering whether to ban children

attending more than one setting. They are trying to seek clarification. It would solve a dilemma for me, I

am not sure I’m comfortable sending Bella to preschool in the first place for a number of reasons – not to

mention double the exposure to all the bugs – aside from Covid there’s all the other coughs and colds we’d

have to self-isolate and test for. Mark would never get to work. I feel so emotional about it all, our local

preschool looked so lovely and I don’t really like the look of the Titown one. They’re only offering a 15

minute visit before she’d be thrown in there. I can’t do that to her. But I can’t send her to school without her

knowing anyone. I can’t do any of this.

Mark and I end up watching something on telly about people trying to get houses in Manchester. There are

two homeless lads, plus a single mum of 2 who has been evicted from where she’s renting. She can’t get

anywhere with more than 2 bedrooms on the other side of the city so she can’t get her mum to look after

her kids so she can go to work. She keeps missing out on houses she bids for. I had no idea it was like

that. It really did put things into perspective for us.

Wednesday 19 August

Opened an email from a different estate agent. The new house is being advertised on there too. I

managed to fob off the original one yesterday, but now this. We’ve run out of time. We’re just going to

have to pray that when the time comes the Parkhill vendors want, and are able to, rent.

Our agent rings again, and the vendor tried to contact her and left a voicemail, saying he hadn’t found

anywhere and he will probably have to delay the sale. No mention of renting. She tried to ring him back,

but again got voicemail. The whole thing is just soul-destroying. Mark and I have pretty much agreed now

just to forget about the new house. And forget about moving to Parkhill any time soon.

Ate nearly an entire family bag of crisps stood in the kitchen trying to decide what to have for lunch.

Nothing, after all those crisps.

Thursday 20 August

Dentist appointment for Bella and I. It was probably the easiest appointment ever, as Bella was so well-

behaved. The dentist just seemed stressed out and pissed off with the whole Covid thing.

Bella had another good dance lesson.

Friday 21 August

Wow. Despite all the extra things I have on at work at the moment I actually finished the week with

everything on my list ticked off. There was even time for Mark and I to go to the pub for half an hour before

picking Bella up from nursery. We bumped into another couple we know, and for a moment everything just

felt normal. We met up with Caerwyn, Wendy and Johnny in the park. Caerwyn’s last day at nursery is

Wednesday. I can’t believe all Bella’s friends are leaving and starting school. It’ll be interesting to see

what Bella does and who she will play with.

Saturday 22 August

We took Bella for a day out at the ice cream farm and Maize Maze. Bella enjoyed a chocolate ice cream

before heading into the maze. She had her wellies on and got very very muddy! She found 6 of the hidden

scarecrows. She found a worm and a ladybird. Bella was fascinated as she unwrapped the corn on the cob

and found sweetcorn inside! We came back to the farm and Bella went on the stepping stones and fed

some baby calves with straw. She had a lovely day, and we were really lucky with the weather.

Sunday 23 August

We visited the food hall again for a big breakfast. It is so much easier to get a table there since lockdown.

Mark took Bella to the park whist I went home to study. I finished all the modules and did a mock exam. I

got 75%. I need 80% to get a free re-sit. I have never found any course so hard in my life. It is just not

going in my brain.

Monday 24 August

We had a great day. Went to the pirate play centre with Caerwyn, and Wendy gave us a lift so even the

journey was part of it. Bella had such a good time. We then went for a meal out with parents. Never again

at that place. The service was so bloody slow, and Bella was too tired to eat. We were sat by the door and

the staff must have turned 6 different parties away.

Tuesday 25 August

Had the Survey done on the house today. I was quite nervous about it, especially as the forecast was for

heavy rain all day, and Mark still hasn’t discovered where the leak at the top window is coming from. By

mid-morning I’d convinced myself that the surveyor was a family friend of the buyers and would pick over

anywhere I’d missed dusting / hoovering, so I spent half the morning just doing that. And he bloody arrived

1 hour early. Fortunately Mark was able to dash home and open the loft hatch for them. Mark said he was

quite positive.

We also had the search reports through. A whole month after the solicitor got them.

Wednesday 26 August

Mark and I went for another date night to ‘Eat Out to Help Out’. Bella was really happy when I told her we

were going to Grandma’s! She went to sleep really well for Mum too. We both had a vindaloo at the curry

house. It was a really nice evening, as we took our time over the meal and stayed there all evening. Except

I burnt my arm on my hair straighteners and I spent all evening with the ice pack on it.

Thursday 27 August

I have a big deadline tomorrow so I used the time whilst Bella was at my parents’ to do some work. I never

got to do any of my own things at all before collecting her because I had to go to Sainsbury’s as well. We

had lunch at my parents’, then I tried a macaroni cheese recipe for tea. Bella had another good dance

lesson.

The girl from Titown who’s son Bella plays with replied to my message! She was really nice. Must’ve

forgotten I was the one who kept getting her son’s name wrong…

Friday 28 August

Rang the vendors’ agent to let her know about the searches, and she mentioned that she had sp oken to

them and they were actively looking for places to rent. Mark and I had another drink at our local before

picking Bella up. Mark bumped into the other agent from [the vendors’ agent] on his way to the pub, and he

said he overheard [the main agent] on the phone to the vendor – apparently they have found somewhere to

rent but it’s too expensive, and she advised them to put an offer in.

Saturday 29 August

Mark finally talked me into trying his pilates reformer class. There were only 3 of us in the class, including

the girl who used to lead Bella’s rhythm time class. I enjoyed it, and I’d like to go again. So I think I’ll

purchase 10 sessions. It’s a bit expensive so I don’t think I’ll be able to continue once we have a big

mortgage to pay for, but for now, I might as well!

We went to Wendy and Johnny’s house for a BBQ. Bella got to have a go on Caerwyn’s trampoline for 5

minutes before it started pissing down. So we had to do the whole thing inside. The girls had a great time

playing though, and we all got to have a chat. It was a really relaxed evening. Wendy mentioned that the

new head at Titown High School is apparently really amazing. That’s the second person who’s said that.

Sunday 30 August

The town market was back on, so we grabbed some masks and checked it out. It was pretty busy – not as

rammed as normal, but about 50% of people had masks on so we put ours on. We bumped into Prim and

her boyfriend so we arranged to meet them at the nature reserve for an afternoon walk. Bella didn’t interact

with Georgie much because she decided to run off. Georgie just plodded on for over a mile before getting

tired. Prim’s boyfriend told her that that wasn’t good enough, and she needed to walk further and further

each time. God knows what he thinks of Bella, who just wants to be carried most of the time.

Monday 31 August

We didn’t do much today. Alan was at a charity bake sale I took Bella to, but Bella wasn’t in the mood to

play.

September 2020

Tuesday 1 September

Meet friends for a walk. They have been doing evening walks since lockdown but I have only just got round

to coming along. We were really lucky with the weather. Even so it was dark when we got back. It felt

good to get some exercise.

Wednesday 2 September

Finished work early to take my time back and I went clothes shopping at Matalan and Next. Mainly jumpers

in preparation for our holiday in Anglesey in 2 weeks.

Thursday 3 September

Took Bella out for a shopping day up the A34 to Tesco, M&S and Next. She needs a whole new wardrobe

now Autumn and Winter are on their way. I don’t get hand-me downs any more now I don’t see Sandra at

choir. We got some everyday clothes from Tesco which Bella picked for herself. She got a new winter

coat, some tops, leggings and a sequined Poppy troll top and legging set. We shared a jacket potato and

tuna and a mini caterpillar cake at M&S café. We finished at Next where I bought Bella a couple of very

sparkly party outfits.

Bella wore one of her outfits this evening at Pizza Express. She had a lovely time; she had her own set

meal and little pizza and she ate everything. She loved showing off her sparkly new outfit dancing around

the restaurant.

Friday 4 September

Mark rang the vendor’s estate agent for an update. He spoke to someone else and according to notes on

the system they had put an offer in on a house. I made enquiries about another house that had come up in

Titown, but the vendors hadn’t found anywhere to buy, so we’re not prepared to jump ship for another

incomplete chain. I told them that we just couldn’t take the risk over whether Bella would get into a good

school there.

We found a new TV series to watch – Away. It’s about a group of astronauts. It’s pretty good actually,

worth sticking with as there’s nothing else on right now.

Saturday 5 September

I tried the cardio reformer class this morning. I loved it! It was a really good workout and loads of fun.

Monday 7 September

Made enquiries about another house – not quite in Titown, but they had nowhere to move into either so I

left it.

Took Bella for a playdate with another friend, ahead of her dance classes which are starting on Saturday. I

still haven’t paid for them, in case the government suddenly decide they’re not allowed. I had to keep

stopping myself staring around the house – it is enormous, with a massive space incorporating a kitchen,

island, 8-seater dining table and play area with 2 settees. What a wonderful space to bring up children. She

does have 3. The garden is twice the size of the allotment.

Bella was very shy in the house, and wouldn’t speak to her friend’s mum. It was only when we got outside –

despite the rain – that Bella suddenly came out of her shell, and started bossing her friend around and

inventing games about pirates and a cupcake shop. She was funny in other friends house too last week – I

wonder if it’s because we’ve not been allowed in each others’ houses for so long.

Tuesday 8 September

Finally allowed myself to start packing for Anglesey. Part of south Wales has gone into lockdown, but

nowhere near Anglesey.

Evening walk with Alan.

Wednesday 9 September

Busy day at work interspersed with holiday washing. I’m having to do more, smaller loads of washing,

because I only have 3 facemasks that fit me, and I keep needing them to go into shops / hairdresser /

beautician etc. My face is too small for most masks, and Mark found these in a random shop. My washing

routine is totally dictated by my facemasks.

The vendor’s estate agent rings to let me know that Parkhill have had an offer accepted on a house! Those

people haven’t found anywhere to buy either, so we’re in no better position really. Those people are

downsizing, so the chain could go on forever.

The government have announced in England that no more than 6 people are allowed to meet up inside or

outside. At first I thought they said London – I had a small child shrieking in my ear. This new rule does

not affect a single thing that I want to do for myself. I can even go out for a meal with 5 of my friends. But

Bella won’t be able to have her birthday party. I am gutted for her. And really angry that I am being stopped

from giving her something that will make her so happy.

Meanwhile, Brexit neighbour arranges a party in the allotment for Friday.

Thursday 10 September

Take Bella to my parents’ for the day. She enjoys playing – on her own, with the dogs, and with us. We

make pizza there, and she eats a huge amount of pizza and baked beans – she is too full for her tea. I text

the dance class to check if they are exempt from the ‘Rule of 6’ – and she replies that they are. Thank

goodness! So I pay for the next term straight away.

Spoke to Wendy about the sleepover. Starting to get some ideas of how to make it special.

Friday 11 September

So busy at work getting everything done before I finish for holiday. Still get time for a drink at the pub

before nursery pick-up. It is getting to be a Friday tradition!

Saturday 12 September

Take Bella to her dance class whilst Mark loads the car up for Anglesey. Bella just goes straight in without

a backward glance. She was so much better than with the classes pre-lockdown when she would cling to

me and get upset about going in on her own.

We get on the road about half 10, and Bella falls asleep about an hour into the journey, which is a relief. It

is sunny all the way down to Anglesey. We stop at the Red Tiger which used to be a pub, but is now a café

with a gift shop. I was very impressed with it actually, plenty of Christmas present ideas. Bella gets her

cousin’s birthday present there.

We go to the beach as soon as we get there. It is still quite cold but Bella runs straight into the sea! She

loves it!

When we get back Mark sets up our projector for Bella to watch Room on the Broom on the ‘cinema’. She

was very excited! We start watching Top Gun on it later – just like Mark used to when he was onboard ship.

Sunday 13 September

It’s still a bit cold and cloudy on the beach this morning, but the rest of the week is forecast to be warm and

sunny! Bella is more interested in the bugs – especially the giant cockroaches – and the lizards. She plays

on the adventure playground, and gives some of the big kids a run for their money! She also has a go on

the tractors which you can drive properly with a pedal and steering wheel. Bella takes to it straight away,

and is a total natural! She is going to be a good driver.

Stock up at Tesco on the way back. Masks are still not compulsory in Wales (although they will be from

Monday) and we were the only ones in the shop wearing them.

Back to the beach when we get back – Bella loves running into the sea again.

We make homemade pizza for tea with quite a spicy Turkish sauce and chargrilled peppers. Bella wolfs it

down!

Monday 14 September

My parents are arriving today so we spend the day at the beach. Bella has so much fun! We build

sandcastles and make a big dam out of stones. Bella has us having races in and out of the sea. She goes

right in up to her waist and shrieks her head off.

It is proper hot and sunny when my parents arrive at 12:30. Bella has been excited all morning about

seeing them. We play with the dogs and catch crabs and fish in Bella’s bucket. We were on the beach for

over 6 hours in total.

We have a BBQ for tea then go back to the beach to watch the sunset at 7:30. Bella walks the dog on the

lead on the way down. Bella impresses us all by taking her clothes off and frolicking in the sea naked!

Tuesday 15 September

We all go for a walk. We spend quite a bit of time on the beaches and Bella climbs a tree. She wants

Grandma to sit in the car next to her on the way home. Bella has grown really close to my mum on this

holiday. She has been sitting on her knee and choosing her to read stories. She was so happy and excited

when she was in the car, and they were singing to the music together and doing the actions to ‘Superman’.

We go back to the beach after lunch and catch more creatures. We discover a rick pool full of shrimps and

fill our buckets full of crabs, fish and shrimps. Until a big crab starts eating the shrimps.

My parents manage to get Bella to bed earlier whilst Mark and I go down to see the sunset, so we have

time for a few drinks and card games: Tension, and Navy favourite “Shit on your Oppo”

Wednesday 16 September

My parents leave this morning (Bella was very sad) so we go to the Sea Zoo. They haven’t got a booking

system in place and the website warns that you might have to wait a while to get in, so we were not sure

what we were going to find. We got in straight away though, and Bella loved seeing the sea creatures. She

found all the different fish really funny. There was a bouncy castle outside which she enjoyed too.

Whilst we were having lunch in the café the vendor’s estate agent rang me to inform us that the chain is

finally complete – the elderly couple our vendors are buying off have found somewhere, and those people

are moving into a new build. They’re aiming for mid-November to complete, which is totally unrealistic. It

took a month just for our buyers to get the survey done, and then there’s searches, which took our solicitors

2 months to get through. I’m not holding out much hope for this chain, as it involves two old farts that have

to make it through Winter, and another set using an online estate agent. Later that day another house

came up in Titon, the same side as the school (so no busy main road to cross), 30 grand cheaper and no

onward chain. It is smaller though, with no ensuite and we’d have to decide whether to use the dining room

as intended or convert it into a playroom. I ring the agent anyway to book a viewing, although we won’t be

able to get there til Sunday. She was a bit cagey and said she’d get back to me.

We went out for a meal, and it was the best dining experience we have had in a long time! Bella had a

small fish and chips all to herself, and it was very good quality. She ate nearly all of it! We had focaccia

crisps with mustard dip and chorizo for starters, and I had seabass nasi goreng for main followed by a trio

of citrus desserts. It was all delicious, and I love trying new / different things. I had a fabulous cocktail which

involved passoa, vodka and ginger ale. It was like a sunset in a glass.

We took Bella back on the beach afterwards, with some glow sticks so she could see the sunset. She had

so much fun playing games and races. We put the ‘cinema’ on when we got back, and she watched

Highway Rat cuddled up to me, then fell straight asleep. We finished watching Top Gun.

Thursday 17 September

We just stayed in Church Bay today. The tide was in in the morning so we collected pebbles and painted

them. Bella really enjoyed that. We also found stones that someone had painted and hidden round the

area. I was making lunch later when someone came round to put a for sale sign up. I can’t believe the

owner is selling the holiday home, we were hoping to keep coming here for years to come. We have made

so many happy memories already, and it’s so ideally located near to the beach and with my parents’ dogs

allowed.

Bella had a really long bath when we got back, with her special giant bath bomb. We got a takeaway from

the Red Tiger.

Went on another sunset walk with Bella and she got naked again. We had to drag her away when the tide

started coming in.

The estate agent never rang back about that new house, so I assume they have viewings already and are

waiting to see how those go before booking us in.

Friday 18 September

We checked out one of the Bays, as we had not been there before. We didn’t really like it. At least we got

to have a brew in a cafe and use the toilet, and we visited an ice cream parlour.

We got in our last sunset walk on the beach and Mark and I polished off the cheese and biscuits later.

We got a call from the agents and we have a viewing booked for Sunday. Yet another house came up in

Titown today, also with no chain, but it’s just too expensive.

Mark’ parents are back in local lockdown again, as are Lynda and Phil. So is most of the North East.

Friends were meant to be coming to see us next weekend. I don’t know when Bella will next get to see her

other grandparents. They’re talking about imposing a 2-week lockdown across the whole country,

sometime in October. So it looks like Bella can’t even have her friend to stay over on her birthday.

Oh, and choir is back on.

Saturday 19 September

Packed up and checked out. First stop was at a random playground Mark spotted. It was very windy so we

didn’t stay long. We went back to the gift shop and had a brew. We spent the middle of the day at one of

the beach. We queued for 20 minutes to get to the car park and it was pretty crowded. Bella enjoyed

exploring the sand dunes though.

Sunday 20 September

Took Bella to my parents’ straight after lunch as we were viewing the house on Elm Crescent – which is the

street where Alan lives and is really convenient for the school. It was as we thought though, just too small.

The kitchen is smaller than where we are now.

Bella was a really good girl at my parents’. We took her on what is quite a long walk for her with the dogs,

and she walked most of the way. We were so impressed! She absolutely loved the whole thing. She is

really loving being with my parents now, and she has really taken to the dog (Pepper). Mum made us a big

lasagne, and even though I’d barely eaten all day I was stuffed afterwards. Bella was fine when we left –

Mum texted later saying she’d gone straight to sleep after stories holding her hand. Mark and I were so

knackered, we just watched TV then went to bed.

Choir is off again. Due to the new restrictions. I wasn’t going to go back anyway, I can’t afford both choir

and the reformer sessions, and right now getting my fitness back is more important.

Monday 21 September

The real purpose for Bella staying at my parents’ was so I could attend the exam prep webinar for my

PRINCE 2. The session was really good, I feel a lot more confident about the exam now. It overran by

nearly an hour so I was in a bit of a rush for the rest of the day! Just managed to get Bella to the doctors’ in

time for her flu nasal spray. She was such a good girl, even though I know she was a bit apprehensive.

Bella enjoyed going to Alan’s for a BBQ afterwards. Alan and I had arranged it as it will probably be the last

time any of us can meet up. Mark had to join us later as he is so busy with work. Apart from having to

catch up from having had a week off, they have asked everyone to work 4 hours extra a week, unpa id.

They tried to justify it by saying they were good to everyone during lockdown and have not made anyone

redundant. Mark’s just under loads of pressure right now to do his work and clear his backlog. He was

working again when we got back from Alan’s.

Tuesday 22 September

The damp survey took place this morning. He seemed a nice chap. He told Mark that there is ‘significant

damp’ in the house. I dread to think how much the buyers are going to want off the price. They already got

5 grand more than the offer we accepted, and that was a year ago. They’ve moved to Titown, the next

street to Parkhill, in fact. I wish I’d agreed to move back then. Life would be so great, and Bella’s future

would be secured. If she doesn’t get in to Sterling and ends up with a load of chavs, it’ll all be my fault.

Anyway, Boris makes his ‘big announcement’ to the public at 8pm. The first episode of the new series of

Bake Off was delayed by 15 minutes because of it. That caused a bit of a stir online. He didn’t say much,

just that pubs have to close at 10pm (I think they’ve confused coronavirus with vampires) and breaches of

the rule of 6 will be fined. Wales announced people must avoid ‘non-essential travel’. My parents are going

on holiday there next week. Anglesey is on the ‘Area of Concern’ list.

I found out we can all get a test through my work. It was mentioned in some attachment to the daily

briefing email. I had to ring HR to check as it sounded too good to be true. Apparently it is though, and

even corporate can get it. My family can get it too. We’d go to the coronavirus pod at the hospital, and the

girl said someone would do it for us! OMG – I’ve spent so many nights lying awake worrying about how I

would get Bella tested. I am even scared of doing it to myself. I don’t know how people don’t damage their

throats and nasal passages by doing it too hard. How do you know how far to go? Marks for Bella, we

would both literally have to use our full force to pin her down. She would be traumatized and never fo rgive

us. I had pretty much resigned myself to self-isolating every time she gets a cold with a temperature.

There’s no way I could put her through that. But she might just do it if a professional did it, she was ever so

good with her flu spray and that went up her nose.

Didn’t sleep much that night, Bella came into our bed and started coughing.

Wednesday 23 September

Get the email just in time – we now have to wear masks at pick-up and drop-off at nursery.

That evening I went on Alan’s last organized walk, as it is getting too dark. I popped in the Co-op for a loaf

of bread, and you could tell people are starting to get nervy again.

Thursday 24 September

NHS track and trace app launched today. We downloaded it. In the news today students are being locked

down in their halls of residence. It sounds awful.

I didn’t arrange to meet up with anyone today as Bella has another sniffle. We did go to the park though. It

was pretty dead.

Mark set up the projector in her room. We watched Trolls World Tour and snuggled.

Friday 25 September

At work today my manager asked me if I had considered increasing my hours. Now that a former colleague

has left, there is money in the budget to pay me more. Also she had spoken to [one of the senior

operational managers] – THE most influential person in the whole organisation, who is dead scary but

really well respected and literally never gives praise – well apparently she was saying really positive things

about me! Heather mentioned that I aspire to working in a more operational management role, but that [the

manager] said my working part-time would be an ‘issue’. I had been considering increasing my hours once

Bella started school but not encroaching into pick up / drop off time. If I could still work from home at least

part of the time it would work, as it takes 45 minutes to walk from Parkhill / the school but we’re still too

close for me to get a parking permit. I certainly couldn’t increase my hours over winter whilst Covid is

around as I’d have zero childcare options – not allowed another preschool and not safe to send her to my

parents’.

I filled Mark in at the pub on the way to nursery. He said he would support me whatever I choose to do. It

is exciting to have those options, and to have good feedback from [the manager].

Mum was telling me that she had booked a meal out for my aunt’s birthday on the 15 th. An hour later I

heard that where they live has gone into local lockdown and they’re not allowed to meet any other

households. I’m not going to mention anything to Mum yet as they are going on holiday tomorrow for a

week in Wales (fortunately not in a lockdown area) so I don’t want to stress her out about it.

Saturday 26 September

Cardio reformer class at 8am, followed by Bella’s dance class. She was coughing and sneezing when she

woke up but got better throughout the morning.

The little girls from down the road popped round to play with Bella, and I was chatting (socially distant) to

their dad on the path. He casually mentions that the youngest came back from school with a bit of a cold,

and then her mum caught it and has been really ill! Of course no mention of getting a test or anything like

that. I figured the horse had already bolted as Bella had already been playing with the girls for 20 minutes,

but then I turned my back and they’d all gone into their house. I removed Bella straight away. For God’s

sake! I’m beginning to wonder if we ought to have a full lockdown -just to avoid situations like this!

Mark went to the track on his motorbike to see his mate Dints race. He is staying over so I went into a

cleaning frenzy. The house stinks of Dettol and bleach. Marks friend arrived at ours around 8pm and the

lads headed to the pub, for a very brief drink before last orders at 9:30.

Sunday 27 September

Breakfast out. I had the avocado and poached egg on toast which was amazing. Dints also enjoyed the

sausage burger that I recommended for him. We walked back through the Market.

When Dints had gone we took Bella to the park as it was a sunny day. She stationed herself at the

bandstand and was pretending not to let us in without a facemask! Gosh she picks up a lot. She now

reminds us to put our masks on. I keep forgetting the new rules about putting them on when leaving the

table in the restaurant and pub.

Started another batch of mango chutney, I thought Bella might be interested as she loves eating it, and she

was! She really enjoyed scooping up the chopped mango and putting it in the bowl.

Monday 28 September

The first thing Bella wants to do when she wakes up is not – like normal – watch TV or even have

breakfast, she asked straight away if she can look at the mangoes. She helps me prepare all the

ingredients for the pan, she peels the garlic and helps measure out the spices. It made me so happy to see

her so interested.

I take her to see a friend and her little girl in the afternoon.

Mark rang me on the way there to say that his tyre has blown out and he is having to wait for recovery, so

he won’t get back in time to have Bella so I can go to my appointment at the doctors’ to have my blood

pressure taken for my pill check. Bella is very good through, apart from being cheeky and pretending to

sneeze in front of the nurse!

There’s another house come up in Titown – it looks like it ticks al the boxes and has no onward chain! Only

it is with the agents for Parkhill so it would be extremely risky to book a viewing as we could end up loosing

both.

Tuesday 29 September

Mark and I have a drive over to the house on Roger Way. It does look smaller than on the photos and Mark

reckons the surrounding trees will cut out most of the sun. Mark chased our agent up for a response to the

damp survey. The surveyor said he should have his report in by the end of last week. Our agent had just

come back after a week’s holiday, but there had been no messages left for her.

Hear that 4 counties in North Wales are going into local lockdown from Thursday. I need to warn my

parents as they will be driving back through there, and as they don’t have wifi or a phone signal they are

unlikely to have caught the News.

Wednesday 30 September

I told Mum about the North Wales thing, and she hadn’t known. They are coming back early on Friday due

to the weather, and I am glad because it looks like cases are going crazy in Wales.

Had my appraisal. My manager suggested that I arrange to speak to [the senior operational manager], and

her opposite number (who I also know from choir) to discuss potential opportunities and what skills I may

need. She mentioned there is some movement in this directorate as a couple of more senior managers are

leaving. I emailed them later and they both got back straight away asking their PAs to arrange something.

One of the mums on my whats app group has discovered that some schools are letting prospective parents

visit. I booked us in for a visit to [the school that is undersubscribed but in a really chavvy area] in a couple

of weeks.

October 2020

Final comments – Monday 12 October

We are now under Tier 2 local lockdown. We can still meet outdoors, but no longer inside. The futility of it

all is so depressing. All the mask-wearing, distancing and hand sanitizer has not made a jot of difference;

we are still getting just as many coughs and colds as we always did, and coronavirus cases are rising

rapidly despite the extra restrictions and local lockdowns.

I feel so so lucky however, as my precious little girl’s 4th birthday was this weekend just gone. We only just

managed to scrape in before the restrictions came into force. We were able to give her the birthday

celebrations we’d planned, including a meal out with one friend, and her best friend staying over for a long -

awaited sleepover. Both little girls were so happy and my Bella was made to feel extra special.

It was so nearly snatched away, as a week earlier my husband came down with a bad cold and lost his

sense of smell, so he had to get a test. Fortunately we got one quickly and the results came back in 13

hours – Negative. I was so worried about all the people we had been in contact with, including my parents.

It was like we had been granted a reprieve. I am so grateful for my daughter’s birthday and this weekend

feels like a gift.

Our house move has fallen through however. The survey uncovered damp problems and our buyers pulled

out. We have lost Parkhill along with any chance of moving before school application deadline. We

commissioned our own specialist survey, and they are estimating a lot less than the £30,000 our buyers

were quoted. So, we will have to approach it another way – give the true order of preference of which

schools we genuinely prefer, then put our house back on the market 6 months later once we know what

school we get into.

I can live with these new restrictions. We have to. I just pray that our daughter gets a place at a school that

can equip her with what she needs to make a life for herself in spite of the mess this country has got itself

into.