Corona Diaries

Jocelyn

“…we will most likely be unable to leave our house for the next year or so at least, as this disease is not

going away, and realistically we are ‘extremely vulnerable’ and have to wait for a vaccine”

Background Information

Female, aged 65-74, Retired Academic and NHS Trust employee, South Wales, White Irish

American, Married to Fred, two daughters Molly and Vicky.

May 2020

1st May

Beautiful morning for May Day; woke up feeling more refreshed and less tired than in the past three days,

now that my blistered knee is so much better, and safely dressed. The iodine patch has worked really well

already and it no longer hurts at all – so, off we went on our early morning hike through the ancient

woodland above the village. Clear and crisp and fresh-feeling, invigorating after this week’s spell of rain and

accompanying lethargy and inertia. Walked 3.85 miles, including a detour along a nice side trail through

the woodland, and came across several newly-built wigwam style structures made out of fallen branches

and a larger log. So glad to see someone is having such creative fun through all this! It’s a Friday morning

and we are earlier than usual.

The sun is rising higher in the sky and the fields are emerging from their early morning mist covers. The

beech canopy is burnished red copper from the path above, and light pink gold underneath. We were so

engrossed enjoying the sights and smells of the wild garlic and bluebells, and the acid green of the new

fern fronds that we didn’t see an approaching walker on the path ahead. As soon as we noticed we

exclaimed in surprise, guilty remembering we were supposed to be on the alert for others’ approach, and

dashed into the undergrowth to keep a (very) safe distance. He looked at us and said “I don’t think I’m that

contagious”, to which we hurriedly and earnestly tried to point out that it wasn’t about him, but about

keeping ourselves safe. Don’t think this had the desired effect, as he continued on his way without further

comment. Don’t know if it was Molly’s bright pink mask or the alarm with we reacted, but it seems like this

mask business is a tricky one.

This whole concept of shielding, and me feeling guilty about breeching the strict terms of the letter, results

in some uncomfortable meetings – quite apart from needing to move it to breathe and de-mist my glasses

when climbing some fairly steep (for me) bridle ways up the hills. Then of course I’ve touched my face,

which the mask was supposed to stop me doing. And alienated neighbours. I know face coverings and

masks are a symbol of threat in our culture, worn by bandits and thieves, so I guess it’s not surprising if

people react defensively, if not with outright hostility – even though its bright pink patterned with little white

rabbit shapes!

Nevertheless, the walk was beautiful and really enjoyable. Came back to find Fred up and dressed and

ready for breakfast and getting stuck into Day 9 of his isolation period. Had a lovely hour’s Zoom with my

closest friend. She and her husband, the healthiest 75-year-olds we know, who don’t take a single

medicine tablet between them, are strictly self-isolating throughout this, avoiding shops completely and only

leaving their own garden to walk as far as the post box occasionally. Avid cyclists who regularly cycle three

weeks or so, independently, through France every year, they bought themselves an exercise bike at the

beginning of the lockdown and each use it every day and are also busying themselves in their garden and

playing music together. They are regularly Zooming with their grandson in Japan on a government-funded

MBA course, who is shut in in Tokyo and between terms there, so is feeling lonely. Their son and his wife

live nearby and have been able to get a weekly grocery delivery as the wife is deemed vulnerable and at

risk after completing a course of chemotherapy. They have helped keep our friends in groceries as they

are not deemed to be at risk! My friend is concerned that we oldies will be kept isolating in order for the

younger generations to return to work as soon as possible and is wishing the government would

recommend mask wearing.

Brought a tray of tea and toast up to the shut ins, and sat to enjoy a break with them, hung laundry on the

line, looked at lunch preparations and noted that Vicky had done a lot of preparatory chopping and mixing.

Sat down to open the paper from 2 days ago to begin to catch up when Fred called me upstairs. Trying to

quell any impatience, I got upstairs to discover that he had cracked a tooth and the bridge holding 3 right

side front teeth had broken! This in turn meant that there was no longer anything on which to hang his

rather nifty new removable bridge supporting 3 more teeth on the right side of his mouth.

He is horrified and concerned. The last thing he wants is to have to go and consult someone and risk

potential infection again, when he is so near ending the current self isolation period! And I’m concerned that

as its on his right side, where he has little sensation left, he might injure his mouth unknowingly, or get an

infection and not feel it. We are both worried that he may not be able to eat properly either. All dental

surgeries in Wales are closed due to the potential risks to dentists because so many of their routine

procedures are aerosol-generating. I saw a dental consultant from UHL being interviewed on Welsh TV last

night who was saying that the clinic there is now re-opened for NHS emergencies, so I guess that is one

option but not one that is at all attractive to Fred! He feels he has spent enough time at UHL to last a

lifetime and despite the wonderful quality of care he had there he really really doesn’t want to go near the

place. So, he phoned his dental surgery for advice.

His own dentist, formerly chief Dental Officer for Wales, was planning to retire at the end of March to be

replaced in the practice by his daughter, whom Fred hasn’t met yet. In fact Fred was considering switching

to a new dentist nearer home when his retired. I’m so glad we didn’t get that far because the surgery

helpline has arranged for a dentist to ring Fred tomorrow after 12 noon, once he has seen Fred’s records.

Much discussion amongst us of how best to handle the next steps if a visit is necessary. Think I could go

into quarantine this time; since I’m the most vulnerable I don’t see why everyone else should have to pay

the price of this. Difficult to disentangle feelings of guilt, overtones of blame inherent in our society’s

concept of illness anyway, resentment of the extra work and loss of freedom – hard! Still mulling over the

implications of that one.

2 May Saturday

Another short night but bright fresh morning after sharp showers overnight, loud enough to wake us. Tired

but decided to set off on an early morning shorter walk around the perimeters of the golf course. Difficult

discussion ensued as Molly’s resentments spilled out when I raised the subject of more quarantines if

needed, and how we could best manage them. She resents having to ask for more food when hungry

between meals and I probably resent needing to respond and make additional trips up and down the stairs!

Heated discussion, painful, too, as perhaps only mother-daughter rows can be, but ultimately constructive.

And we returned a bit chastened but understanding each other better.

Nice breakfast though too cool to sit outside so back to our perches on the landing opposite the isolaters.

Brought extra ‘rations’ with us to tide them over for a while after breakfast! And then a long and constructive

discussion over what to say to the dentist due to phone Fred this afternoon. Generated a list of questions

for Fred to put to the dentist. Resisted any impulses to start a laundry load, and sat down to do some catch

up tasks. Short chat to Mrs. Greengrocer, after texting her to apologise for getting the order day wrong -

again!- in my text sent yesterday for today. She was very understanding saying ‘nevermind, she had

understood what I meant’! but I felt bad for adding further puzzles to her already over-burdened days. She

reported that they couldn’t even think of having a day off for the foreseeable future, working flat out and

returning home late each night, too exhausted to eat. She said they need to use Sundays to try to put the

shop back in order after the long week, and ready it for Monday and of course they are open throughout

that process. Really feel for them, don’t know how they are keeping going.

Monday 4 May

Day 12 of the double quarantine – gosh time is dragging these last few days! The first week seemed to go

relatively quickly, but this last week is really going slowly. Strange. But it’s a beautiful morning and we set

off on a short hike in the sun though its cold. But no wind and it has just stopped raining, and everything

looks so fresh. Cars are going down the road but not too many, and we are nicely early having set out at

7.30am – though we are still surprised that there are any, and they are going fast. This is a country road –

B road, but is a main route from Byclo into Ochr Y Bae so is tricky and usually bumper-to-bumper at rush

hours. The golf course is empty apart from 2 groundsmen on their mowers. The grass is wet and sparkling

and the sun is shining, and is glorious to be out. Hardly any people. I’m tired so we opt for a shorter hike

around the perimeter of the course and up the hills to the highest point, from which we can see the whole

coast from Celyn to Bychlo and on towards the power station. Misty summer-like feel, with a soft gentle

light, and the sheep lazing in the top field alongside the golf course. It is beautiful up here. Decide against

going further as I’m tired and want to get back in good time to get breakfast for Fred.

Decide to have breakfast outside! Chairs are moved to ensure sufficient distance from the ?COVIDs, and

we sit down and celebrate because its 2 years ago today that Fred had his devastating stroke – and here

he is now, having come so far! A very emotional time for us all as we remember those awful times

especially the first few days and weeks. A lot of laughter and tears: if only we could ever have imagined,

then, that Fred would be as well as he now is: quite disabled yes, but also wholly himself and here, and

enjoying himself – and optimistic about the future, despite being a lifelong pessimist! We are so very lucky.

Wednesday 6 May 2020

Woke up back in my own bed, what a relief, and so comfortable after 2 weeks on a futon in the box room!

Despite this have woken up headachy and tired after a very restless night, despite having had a lovely day

yesterday: early morning walk with our daughters to the farthest tees: 3.5 miles! In beautiful crisp air and

sunshine and a fresh North Easterly breeze. So good to have this time, though I was anxious to get back

for 9-ish for Fred. Breakfasted upstairs with 2 of us perched on chairs in the hall opposite the bedrooms

doors of the quarantines: and this is the last of these tray runs, and, wonderfully, they haven’t contracted

the disease! A day of real celebration and relief – and the weather helps, as once they are out, they are

free, we figure.

Zoom meeting with our Crafty Women group: a comedy of errors as the convenor’s husband’s computer

crashed just at start time, then three of us waited as the other 3 variously joined, then fell off the screen,

like dominoes. A joy to see them all, well. And fairly crazy too: 1 woman, nearly 80 and survivor of 2

strokes, had received a delivery from a local trader, with bank details for payment. She then went to the

trouble of looking up the payee’s sort code online to find out the bank’s name and location, then physically

walked to it and inside to make the payment! Another had been burgled – during the night an intruder had

entered the house and made his way to the little cubbyhole on their upstairs landing and made off with their

computer – and they knew nothing of this until they woke at 8am! Horrible experience for them, both over

80. The police arrived within 45 minutes: 1 masked, 1 not, and took the details and fingerprints, saying that

it was probably the actions of a ‘chancer’. What an awful thing: to think someone had been in the house

like that while they slept unknowingly, so unnerving.

Despite a chaotic meeting I got good advice, from 2 experienced bag makers, though each directly

contradicted the other, about how to attach the handles to the bag we are making for Molly to take to work

on the wards. This poor bag has evolved step by step, but somehow has emerged as very serviceable and

tough and pretty cheery too: made from some sort of very tough but flexible and featherweight sail-type

manmade fabric, in a bright orange colour, it will hold Molly’s stethoscope, phone, needles, and pen – and

whatever else essential items she has to carry round on the wards. It is wipe clean inside and out so we

are very proud of it. Relayed the handle-securing advice to Molly who says no thanks, she knows how she

wants to do it and will do so! So, problem solved anyway.

One woman was busy making tiny knitted cardigans for a Clothes Bank for babies: premature for hospitals,

and for needy families especially women seeking refuge. Another was finishing off a long-unfinished

knitting project, and making a pullover from odds and ends: a cheery multi-coloured striped one. Another

was making teddy bears – and was surprised to learn that she also had to make clothes for them! Some

were passing books back and forth by leaving bags to be collected at their garden gates and several of us

were making masks so traded ideas on them. Also shared ways in which we were dealing with deliveries:

2 of us abiding by the CDC’s gold standard advice, others taking no special precautions at all. And 1 had

been to shops wearing a mask, which she felt had prompted people to spring away from her when they

noticed – well, maybe that’s a help! Compost is apparently the new scarce product and no one has

bedding plants – unless you go to B & Q, which I can’t and won’t anyway. We chatted about shielding

versus sheltering: 1 had a friend who is devastated to have received the Shielding letter from the

government – apparently 122,000 of us in Wales have been sent it, with a further 22,000 to come out soon.

Sent my commiserations as it is a tough thing to get – I imagine its particularly awful to receive it if you live

alone. And now the news is full of fit and active 70 year olds who are calling to be ‘released’ from the

government’s advice to shelter. They can’t change the facts though: the age gradient is real and steep.

The morning passed quickly, with various people falling off the screen and then returning, but somehow we

never got cut off by Zoom and found we were still going 2 hours later – just as we would have been in

person!

Lunch in the garden, one of the butcher’s ready-made lasagnes with fresh salad and veg during which

three deliveries of parcels arrived, all delivery men very properly keeping their distance from us and leaving

stuff on the porch. We later kicked each one inside and lined it up in the front hall for opening tomorrow

afternoon. The front hall is now quite an obstacle course!

Laundry dried quickly on the line outside, so all ready for making up the bed in our room. Fred has carefully

tidied his projects to make space for me – and hoovered! A royal welcome back. Vicky has made scones to

celebrate the release of sister and Dad, then gone to work upstairs in the attic for an 8 hour shift – she was

lucky to get a half hour break nearish lunch time so joined us for that. Molly is still struggling to come to

terms with the fact that all her energetic offers to volunteer have failed to materialise – and she may have

missed the boat for medical student assistantships now that COVID-19 demand has peaked. She’s applied

for interim F1 posts in Wales, but these will be at a premium now that demand for extra help has dried up,

and they will go first to MSAs currently on the books – who report doing very little and spending a lot of time

in the Doctors’ Mess or coffee shops! This allays her guilt a little, briefly, but it is hard for her. In the

meantime, she has had her welcome letter from her new Deanery and has a lot to look forward to – and to

dread, at the same time.

Supper in the TV room felt amazingly special after so long, joined by Vicky when she finished her shift: a

peaceful end to a good day!

Monday 11 May

Non eventful day, which ended with a bang when Fred left the room where we were watching National

Theatre Live’s screening of Antony and Cleopatra, when clattering could just be heard in the dining room –

though only just as A& C has some noisy scenes. The we heard Fred calmly calling for help. We rushed out

to find him sat on the floor, having slipped on the length of cardboard on the side of the passageway to the

kitchen, left for putting down groceries etc while waiting to be spray cleaned before putting away in the

fridge. This was Fred’s first ever fall, after 2 years at home, so was a big deal to us all. Since he is 6’2” how

to get him up needed some thought. As we were working it out, he remembered his ‘practice’ with the OTs

and, with help to stabilise his feet against the skirting board round the fireplace, we supported and

encouraged him as he gradually turned onto his knees – no mean feat, for someone with no right-side

sensation! He was then able to reach the edge of the lower half of the Welsh dresser top, and I could

support his right arm while the girls supported his torso, and up he got! Molly got some practice in post-fall

assessment (using an app on her phone!) and examined him for signs of injury. Happily he seemed OK, if

badly shaken. No signs of bruising had emerged by bedtime, and though his right knee and shin felt stiff, all

moving parts seemed to be working – phew! No need for an ambulance or A&E either, a great relief all

round. Another storm weathered!

Saturday, 16 May 2020

Woke up feeling very dopey, after a very good night’s sleep. All the aftermath of very emotional

discussions last evening after Molly came downstairs for supper, drained and anxious after completing her

paperwork for her new Deanery – and told us she had put a friend’s name down as her ‘Emergency

Contact’. Fred and I interpreted this as referring to her ‘Next of Kin’, and were shocked and devastated.

She had meant it as a pragmatic move, given that we will most likely be unable to leave our house for the

next year or so at least, as this disease is not going away, and realistically we are ‘extremely vulnerable’

and have to wait for a vaccine – but it forced us to confront a painful and unwelcome reality – again, but on

a deeper level. We can’t rush to the South Coast of England to help her in an emergency, it’s true. We

can’t even go visit her, or help her settle in to her new lodgings, which is bad enough. But to have to face

the harsh fact that we can’t help her, when as parents it is our first instinct, is hard to swallow. Yet another

reminder that we are older and less able than we were – but we are still her Next of Kin and need to be

noted on forms as such in order to contact any hospital ward she might be on as a patient! Not an easy

discussion but probably good to get these issues aired, now, before she has to leave. We won’t be able to

see her again at all for nigh on 2 years, once she leaves as she will only get 1 week’s leave at any 1 time

during her Foundation Years training, not enough to encompass 2 weeks self quarantine first. We are

worried about both girls, once they go back, which of course they have to, how they will each manage to

look after themselves if they contract COVID-19 which Molly really can’t avoid once she starts working in

the hospitals. The 15 years of reduced resourcing to the NHS (in real terms) already had me worried about

the impact (on her mental and physical health) of working for the NHS as an F1-F2, but the addition of

inadequate and insufficient supplies of PPE and necessary isolation from family to this package, feels very

unfair. It’s not what doctors signed up for in any sense of the word, and Thursday night clapping does not

make up for lack of resources on the wards. One of her colleagues, a young BAME woman training to be a

Paediatrician, left a hospital two weeks ago when her Consultant refused to let her wear the protective face

mask she had bought for herself. He told her that she couldn’t wear the mask since no one else on the

team had one. He expected her, despite the known increased risks of COVID-19 for BAMEs, and the fact

that the wards are now a mix of COVID-19 patients and previously COVID-19-free patients throughout the

hospital, to comply. She refused and left the hospital. They subsequently allocated the remaining shifts to

others. Yet another scandalous event in a long chain of many all going back to inadequate resourcing. To

me this is criminal negligence on the government’s part, putting highly – and expensively – trained doctors

and nurses, to say nothing of care workers and care home residents at risk, and all on the altar of austerity

over so many years, is unforgiveable. And now England is re-opening, too soon in terms of the

epidemiological evidence, to satisfy vociferous, right wing ideologies who feel that ‘the public have been a

bit too willing to stay at home’ in the infamous words of pompous Graham Brady and Jacob Rees Mogg.

Thank heavens we live in Wales. More and more, I regard Boris Johnson as England’s PM, with less

relevance to Wales. If we are going to be vulnerable at least we are doing so in a place that has retained

some sense of community responsibility. Johnson is proving to be Trump-lite.

Saturday 23 May 2020

Molly was notified by email late yesterday afternoon that she has now graduated from medical school. A bit

of a damp squib, to put it mildly. So we had an impromptu serial celebration – complete with Vicky’s

creation of a tiny black mortarboard perched on top of a baked potato with two big eyes pasted on – looking

as surprised as Molly when she saw him at her place at the breakfast table, sitting on an egg cup!

Celebration breakfast was followed up later in the day with a video of a Graduation Ceremony for Dr Baked

Potato to the tune of Matt Lucas’s ‘Thank you Baked Potato’ which has become the unofficial theme song

of COVID-19 in our house: “wash your hands, don’t touch your face, thank you Baked Potato!” the girl’s and

I had a lot of fun making the whole thing, with Dr BP perched on a ‘dias’ made out of a large black box,

draped with tiny Welsh flags, in front of a big vase of flowers, helpfully sent by one of Molly’s friends for the

occasion!

Saturday 30 May 2020

Another beautiful morning! Woken up after a fitful sleep, excited to learn that things in Wales are opening

up, albeit slowly. Last night I made the mistake of reading a new email from the yacht club explaining the

new guidance for boat users. The Harbour Authority has opened the Harbour for leisure boating, but not

until Monday! This excited me too much to sleep, with my head full of ideas for cleaning and airing the boat,

and even getting out on it. They have suggested we wear masks when getting to and fro our boats as the

pontoons are very narrow. This is good news for a ‘shielder’! I have been longing to get on it and to

measure it so that I can try to get some appropriate adaptations to enable Fred to get on it at last. Then in

the early hours I thought of a way to help Fred use my bike, in the garden, as a static trainer: we have a

spare set of pedals, removed because they lacerated my shins too many times. If we put those back on,

and attach the too-big slippers which have arrived in the post and I can’t send back, unable to go to a Post

Office while shielding, then mount the bike in the training frame I bought over-enthusiastically 18 months

ago, then Fred might be able to sit on it in the garden and begin to strengthen his leg by pedalling in place.

Fingers crossed that works.

Also, it seems that last night we finally got the hang of lockdown living – 12 weeks in! It seems we have

been trying to keep to a daily schedule originally devised for the early weeks after Fred’s discharge from

hospital, which then gradually evolved to suit the caring agency’s schedule. It had the advantage of

enabling me to use the earlier hours waiting for Fred to wake up and dress, or my own exercise. But it is

also compressing the daytime hours too much, as breakfast goes on til 11am and it is then becoming a tad

late for safely getting across our road to start Fred’s daily walk up and down the cul-de-sac opposite. So

many more people are out an about on the pavements, and not all share our commitment to social

distancing. And the number of construction workers, residents and delivery vans now using the road mean

it’s harder to walk safely and even to cross he street safely. We wear masks, but Fred is not happy with

wearing one as it interferes with his ability to watch – and therefore direct – his footsteps. He can’t move

quickly to avoid other pedestrians or vehicles, so it is an increasing risk – yet we can’t safely use parks or

the Esplanade anymore as they are so crowded. Dilemmas – clearly the earlier we go out, the better. The

upshot is each of us can breakfast in their own time, singly or collectively, and hopefully Fred and I can set

out on this walk earlier. This should free up more time, and I can then get in the greenhouse, do other jobs,

and manage Zoom time less stressfully. I am still expected to shield, and therefore so is everyone else,

which I think is going to get harder as more people come outside and are less able or willing to maintain

social distancing. Also, I will take 2 hours each late afternoon as ‘time out’ – this should help me

enormously.

We have been enjoying the Hay Festival enormously and have ‘attended’ between 4 and 10 events each! It

has been such a joy to participate in, as it’s something I’ve always wanted to go to but never been able to fit

in. And because its available digitally we can attend many more events than we would have been able to, in

person. A real pleasure to be able to do so, and I’m continually amazed by the number of people signing in

from far corners of the world!

July 2020

1st July QUIET house this morning, and we are all feeling a bit lost without Molly: a funny sort of not-quite-

numb feeling, but missing her, and keep thinking she’ll come in the room any minute. She phoned full of

excitement and joy at being home in her own house again, but also full of how nerve -wracking it is feeling,

trying to re-enter the’ new’ world. She says it is hard to navigate the new rules: though the signs and tapes

say one thing, she’s still not sure if they mean it – and some customers in her local Co-op don’t! She’s the

only one wearing a mask – so nothing new there, as we still are here too. She says it was anxiety-

provoking.

2 July: Molly phoned full of news on her re-entry! She’d been to Boots Opticians for an eye test, the

results of which may explain her recent debilitating headaches: a very changed prescription. She was

impressed by the safety measures in place: the optician in PPE including mask and visor, and she was

given a mask as well – so relieved to hear that. She said M&S was being careful too, with a marshal at the

door ensuring only a limited number of customers inside at any one time, hand sanitisers at the trolleys etc

- still no masks, but better than it might have been. Remembered that she had also been to see the local

chemist on her way out of the village and been impressed by their safety measures too, with a Perspex

screen across the counter and space for only 3 people in the shop at once-the chemists is pretty small, so

this wouldn’t be enough to persuade me to go in, but she is soon to face an awful lot worse. She wasn’t

allowed into the surgery itself either – a disembodied gloved hand reached out through a tilted window

opening to give her her prescription at a pre-arranged time. Very reassuring to hear of these measures in

place. For people who do go out. And we are so glad to hear that she is finding her feet and getting started

on packing up her things for her new start It’s a bit like despatches from another world though. She left us,

taking our hedge-trimmer, scythe and bike carrier, and the first two have been in heavy use, since her

lodgers haven’t attempted to do the lawn and the builder who replaced her sunken hall floor (!) just before

lockdown has left all the left-over laminate flooring in a heap in the little front garden of her terraced house!

She has an awful lot of heavy physical work to do before she leaves! She was so good to spend so long

with us and give us so much time and energy!

4th July Sat

Pouring rain and dampish spirits too-really hard to feel like celebrating this normally wonderful and

important holiday to Americans, when we are hearing daily of the latest bunch of lies from this most

revolting of presidents. There is often a tiny grain of truth hidden in his wild and grandiose statements,

which he has a genius for exploiting, and expanding into yet another really divisive and nasty piece of lying

– which is then broadcast and magnified further. Very hard to see a way to celebrate our Founding Fathers

and our Constitution in the face of it all. Nonetheless I am forcing myself to try – celebrations have never

seemed so important as now, much needed spirit-raisers during this pandemic-isolation. And we are still

very much isolating. So we cooked our hamburgers indoors, in warm clothes and enjoyed our peach and

strawberry shortcakes, minus any flag-waving! It would be funny if only it weren’t so serious, the

ramifications of everything Trump does. I signed up for Get-Out-the-Vote training today, put on by

Democrats Abroad, as the only thing I can do, now, to change things.

8th July, Wed

Phone call from a good friend, wanting to ‘rant’. She’d been out cautiously to the shops wearing her

customary mask. As a ‘portly young middle aged couple’ approached, she tried to get out of their range on

the pavement. But they kept on coming nearer, so my friend had to step into the road. She explained that

she was trying to keep her distance, to which they replied breezily ‘Oh there’s no need, its fine out here’.

My friend is in her mid 70s and very active, though tiny, but obviously grey-haired, and therefore at some

risk. Her mask should have signified that she was taking care. But this pair were oblivious to any such

need, which outraged my friend. I sympathise with her. The pavements in our old towns are very narrow,

easily filled by a couple walking together, which leaves little room for any social distancing. I sympathise,

because it is virtually impossible for us to get out of anyone’s path because of Fred’s disability. We look

very furtive when trying to come out of our front gate and cross the road, in the middle of it! Two masked

oldies, ducking out first to see if the path is clear…thank heavens for a white head of hair, most people do

seem to see it and get it, and step out of our range. Interestingly, too, some still take our mask wearing as a

sign of hostility, especially on our daughters as younger people (40s), at least that’s my sense-making of

the reactions we get.

The rising virus numbers in the US are really worrying me. Fortunately for our family, most live in ‘safe’

States: Massachusetts and Connecticut. But a nephew is about to take up a first teaching post in

Arizona…the states with the rabid Republican governors are faring worst, and the numbers are rising

horribly. Trump’s response is to distract by some other outrageous act – and try to sideline the only

infectious disease expert still talking: Dr Fauci still has credibility and keeps finding other outlets to speak

through but he is clearly in the firing line now. So frightening, and so horrifying. The unremitting daily abuse

of power – and of any shred of truth. It seems to me that this is how democracy dies. It hurts, really hurts. It

no longer feels like my country and yet it is and nothing can change that, even renouncing my citizenship

won’t take away that wrenching feeling at a gut level. I can’t stop caring. And it doesn’t feel a whole lot

better here, in Britain with Trump-lite also blithely abusing his position and playing fast and loose with

statistics and resources – it wouldn’t matter but these falsehoods are affecting real people, every day, all

over the country. The economy over people every time. And yet, from our papers, possibly not very

representative, but a lifeline for our anxious spirits, people want change now, they don’t want to return to

the old normal. They want the NHS better funded, social care resourced, and are willing to pay more tax to

get these changes. Will Boris and his Big Data see, or care to respond? It seems he is still held to ransom

by the rightwingers, and Dominic Cummings, evil personified. The story about the ‘urgent’ government

funds paid out to Cummings’ friends in the quest for more data is yet another scandal unfolding. It is

Trumpian, too, this piling more abuses on so fast people can’t get a handle on them, distracted as we all

are by this still existential threat.

9th July, Thurs

Walk up the hill with Vicky. This morning Fred & I had a newly set-up Peer Support Group meeting for Fred

and 5 other community-based folk with neurological disorders. It was set up by our Community

Neurological Rehab Team, who have organised so many really helpful rehab sessions since Fred has been

discharged from the Stroke Rehab Centre. We were asked first if we would be interested in an online group

meeting, since we still can’t meet up physically. We had been part of a weekly ‘litter picking’ group which

met weekly in the nearby Country park, and gave Fred support in extending his walking practice, even

helping him to walk the whole route without his wheelchair in December. This group helped Fred

enormously, as it provided a safe arena to extend his walking beyond what he thought he was capable of,

as well as the company of others in similar circumstances. Fred was further along than most of the others ,

which engaged his competitive nature! and was further encouraged by the progress made by one of the

middle-aged men with a similar stroke history, now a volunteer with the CNRS Team This chap’s

experiential advice was invaluable – and the impact of the loss of that support and encouragement has

become ever more obvious with each passing week.

Since Lockdown, Fred has been extremely cautious in his walking, in case he should fall and need to visit

a hospital, the prospect of which he feels very anxious about in case this leads to exposure to COVID 19

for me! It is heart breaking for me to see how badly this double whammy has affected his confidence and

now his motivation. It was so encouraging for Fred to get this regular dose of support and encourage. So

he agreed to participate in this group thinking that it would be a forum for shared problem solving, and was

actually looking forward to it. Then oh dear, once every one had signed in and been welcomed, the leaders

emphasised that it was a purely social forum, that under no circumstances could any personal information

be shared, and that if anyone was heading towards any disclosures of a personal nature, then they would

have to firmly steer the person back to neutral territory. Any breaches could lead to their loss of their Zoom

license - as a Trust ! - and ending of the group. Poor NHS, it can get itself so tangled up in regulations and

bureaucratic knots. So, not exactly peer support as we know and understood it to be. It seems that Zoom is

deemed too open a forum for this, and thus we all have to sign Consent forms and agree to abide by these

terms. Oh dear, the amount of time and resources it has taken the Team to set this up: they had to submit a

proposal weeks ago, and I can see it all, all too clearly: Business Case, Expected Outcomes, Safeguarding

Confidentiality, time, resource input, and my heart sinks for them. They are trying so hard and mean so

well, but this is not going to meet Fred’s needs right now – and he is in need of a bit more moral support.

Fred is really disappointed, but at least he is resolved to contact the Team and ask for a chat by phone, and

does so.

We agree a little programme for the next few sessions: a Quiz, Best & Worst Holiday, etc. to act as a

catalyst for people to chat around. It is good to see a familiar face or two among the 6 participants, but

there are none whom we knew, a couple who we wish were there, and 2 who haven’t had strokes, 1 of

whom is very fit and boats of how far he is walking every day – not the biggest help! Oh dear, this is all a bit

of a strain. And the US numbers are going up every day. Holiday companies sending marketing emails –

including notification that Brittany Ferris, before his so helpful and understanding when we had to postpone

our booking due to Fred’s stroke, now announce they will be taking the full balance for our scheduled

September sailing in 5 days’ time. Try to amend the booking online, but message says that we can’t and

need to contact Customer Services. We try to do so, but the engaged tone is the best we can get, until a

rather tetchy female voice tells us that ‘All Networks are busy! Please Try Again later!’ Do so but get

nowhere.

10th July, Fri

Aching hip again. Have been trying to sleep with a pillow between my knees but it still hurts a lot when I

wake up. Should remember to take something and use the pain gel at bed time. It hasn’t stopped me

walking up the hill and I had a lovely walk at the end of the day with Vicky. Good to get out and get my

lungs moving after the rain. Got a few seedlings planted out but not enough – very leggy after too long in a

hot greenhouse. Nice chat to my dearest friend, by phone. She is being very careful and seems more

anxious than she was last week about her planned trip in August to have a family get together in Devon.

Try to contact Brittany Ferries again. Website still says our amendments can’t be done online, and to

contact Customer Services. Fred offers to do this and tries, off and on throughout the day, again can’t get

through Email Customer Services again. The automated reply says we will hear from them within 7 days, a

tad too late for us, as they will have taken the balance by then.

Sat 11th July

Early morning trip to boat with VIicky as she has the day off – but horrified to see the car park already full,

at only 8am. Means social distancing will be challenging. Was delighted to see some old sailing partners,

but a little too close for comfort as they are gathered on the boat next to us on the pontoon, getting ready to

set off cruising – and only 3 feet away – and even nearer as we each try to board our respective boats at

the same time to get out of each other’s way! Hilarious but awful. I tried repeatedly to explain that we are

Shielding, and back away but there was no place to back to other than the water! The woman is a PhD

biomedical scientist who claims to understand but the reality of the difference in understanding of the

situation between a BMS and a Virologist are becoming clearer by the minute… as if the inadequate range

of the membership of Johnson’s SAGE hadn’t already done so! We are introduced to the skipper – Sir

James. Honestly you couldn’t make it up. He is a lovely down to earth chap who murmurs ‘Please, just

James’ and really kindly offers to help me if I need anything done with our boat. So nice, but we can’t wait

to get out of there. Fortunately they are heading for the 9am Lock Out and they leave the pontoon first and

we just look at each other and sigh – I knew I should have avoided weekends so its my own fault.

Anyway we have a lovely gentle trip round the Bay, tie up along the spare pontoon below the Norwegian

Church, on a beautiful warm and very still morning – probably the last one without any commercial boats

operating, so a special time to be out. Motor back to our own pontoon, happy that although we are on the

walkway and thus everybody walking along who talks to us will spread droplets right down on us it

somehow feels safer – which just about sums up this whole mess. UK Government guidance is so vague,

and often downright contradictory, that we folk on the ground are all just having to make it up as we go

along, and making snap decisions as people approach, often on emotional rather than evidence grounds!

Hip bad by evening, difficulty moving and sitting. Get out the pain gel and cold packs.

12th Sun

First BBQ of the season, now that the disposables are back in stock – or maybe they were banned during

lockdown, dunno. Anyway nice meal and read of the Saturday papers (!) in the garden. And gave Fred my

first haircut (Vicky did the first one, about 6 weeks ago, with newly arrived hair cutting scissors since all hair

clipper sets had sold out. Fred wanted a Buzz cut and was keen to oblige but couldn’t establish whether

either of us knew what a Buzz cut was or that we both understood it to mean the same thing! Decided to

follow the lines of existing cut, itself already altered by the girls’ last attempt! At any rate, Fred was really

pleased with it but the girls and I were awfully glad he didn’t seem to realise how uneven and a bit lopsided

it was) outside in the garden using newly delivered hair-clippers, thanks to Amazon. Very hard to stand as

my hip hurts but I was so glad to have the right instrument for the job that I was happy to have a go.

Clippers definitely more useful than the scissors! Began to think it was turning into a Fade by accident but

Fred is much more comfortable, and though the cut is bit different on one side than the other, its not bad

and Fred is very pleased, which is jolly kind of him! First BBQ of the season,

Mon 13th July

Very painful hip, can’t walk as putting any weight on it is almost unbearable. Not great: Fred and I have only

2 working legs between us, and 3 hands though!

Buoyed up by poll in weekend papers (Sunday’s emerged from its 24 hour quarantine) claiming Starmer is

now ahead of Boris on all leadership indicators, baring the economy, where Johnson and Sunak still lead.

Boris and his ilk are shameless liars. In the face of all the emerging evidence on the value of facemasks-

even on the precautionary principle, they won’t come out and require them to be used in all enclosed

places. We are feeling older than we want to admit, especially with me out of commission hopefully briefly,

but so grateful that we don’t have to go in to a workplace – or a shop, or public transport! We are of course

also cooped up, but are still so much freer than many, if not most. Molly tells us that the hospitals are

gearing up for a second spike in October and I pray they will have enough PPE in place by then. Regional

variations notwithstanding, with Molly on the front line the fear is visceral.

14th July

Decide to celebrate Bastille Day – we seem to be becoming a little desperate! Waitrose delivery this

morning arrived with fresh croissants and almond crossieres as ordered, in time for breakfast and it is fun!

Didn’t go as far as flags but Vicky made a quiche Lorraine for lunch. Lettuce is starting to look recognisable

and pickable in the garden so the salad looked French-ish and we had Bonne Maman yoghurt for dessert. I

really am on the bench this week, with a very painful hip and its beginning to worry me. I don’t really know

how we would cope without our daughter being here since the infection risk of having anyone in to help is

still too great (Shielders aren’t to have anyone in their houses yet, although no doubt some Shielders

absolutely are dependent on a carer coming in), these are terribly difficult times for too many people.

More and more being talked about the government’s poor response and Johnson having none of it. He

seems to think that if he says the subjects closed then it is, and he seems to be getting away with it. Wrote

to our MP to urge him to vote against the Trade Bill to ensure that MPs are given a say before any new

deals are finalised now that we are likely to crash out of the EU without a deal with them in place. Don’t

hope for any joy there. Trying to learn the Self Isolation Choir’s next joint piece ahead of next week’s

summer school. Beautiful piece – Ave Maris Stella by Grieg, sung acapella – decide to sing Alto part as am

still struggling with a lot of chest and throat clearing, despite the arrival last week of the new inhaler ordered

by the lung consultant following my first telephone consultation with the Lung Physio; I suspect that it takes

about a month for it to work, and that it gets worse before it gets better, also very high pollen levels in

Wales this month.

15 July

Hip worse, and Fred decided not to join in his weekly Reorder Group’s Zoom session. I think my being laid

up gets him down and discourages him. It discourages me too and makes me feel old, and, in turn anxious

about coping in the future. We are so lucky to have our cheerful calm and energetic daughter with us, full of

curiosity and wanting to make new dishes for meals! Trying not to let her know I am worried as to how we

will manage without her, because we must do so! My first of four younger brothers’ birthday, and sending

him an e-card elicits a nice email back, with a picture of his birthday present: a bigger motorboat with more

berths, and plans to join in his yacht club’s summer cruise to Martha’s Vinyard and Block Island at the end

of the month. Sounds like a perfect way to get away! Just a tad green…

16 July Thursday

Hip still painful so I can’t walk with Fred, meaning he gets less and less exercise. Not good and getting me

down. Reluctant to phone the GP as I feel there is little he can do over the phone, I don’t want to go to the

surgery to see him, but also am getting frightened (panicky?) about potential long-term implications.

Evening Zoom meeting with local Labour Party with our AM (or SI now?). We were invited to submit

questions in advance and as I’m concerned about Boris’s push to centralise decision-making and its

impact on devolution, I sent in a question. Luckily she was able to join the meeting on time an answered my

question first! She gave a full description of things the Labour Party were doing separately from England

and said that Mark Drakeford as First Minister had not been included (alongside Scotland’s Nicola

Sturgeon) in any COBRA or SAGE meetings since March, so were very confident in going their own ways

on the next steps for Wales re lockdown and release. She also said that MD was doing well in the polls,

that the WAG had bought in to the large national leadership survey (Opinium?) and that MD’s results were

much better than Boris’s.

Words were very encouraging and I left the meeting reassured about the Labour Party and its direction and

efforts locally. I had to leave early, at the first of the scheduled 3 Zoom 45-minute slots to join in a pre-

booked session hosted by our local independent book shop to meet author Natalie Haynes. This was a

thoroughly enjoyable session. NH is a very good performer having been part of the Cambridge Footlights

as a Classics student, which sounds like a contradiction in terms, but her books are delightful, she is the

Classics Correspondent for the BBC, and she is a hoot, in fact it was hard for the hosts to get a question in

at all, or to get her off the her off the air either, and the event went on for another hour beyond schedule,

and she seemed to enjoyed it as much as we did. Again a large number of participants, around 60+,

showing how far these online events can reach. And they are so helpful during this long period of isolation,

inspiring and fun.

Have been trying to learn the SIC piece in order to record it in advance of next week’s Summer School:

very ambitious for someone who hardly had time to learn the stuff last time! And its acapella, very daunting.

And I think I will do the Alto part as I’m even more sniffly since using the new nasal inhaler, and constantly

having to clear my throat. The conductor has tried to teach us NOT to clear our throats, but instead to

swallow, and take a drink, but haven’t mastered that yet!

18 July Sat

Wet, indoor day, so more chance to rest my hip. Pity poor Vicky who is on her second week of enforced

holiday from work and stuck in isolation with us. She is a model of optimism and energy and humour,

happily looking up new dishes to cook, taking Fred for walks and managing to get herself out and about

walking into the hills when she can. What a lovely wonderful person! The holiday is going too fast and I

haven’t been able to give her the treat trips I wanted to because of my sore hip: I had hoped for boat trips

and even a swim in the sea, but not on the agenda yet as they seem to be off limits, though I’m no longer

sure about what is or isn’t! Have my Phone Bank training session online via Zoom, put on by Democrats

Abroad. Surprised to see 2 small US lags propped up behind me on the wall behind me! Left over from the

4th of July, but it looks a bit staged! Oh well. It is good to see so many keen and bright Americans

determined to fight, 2 or 3 of them studying abroad as postgraduate students, 1 a retired state Department

official, who helped deliver the training. The training was really good and well managed despite the online

platform. They gave an excellent Powerpoint presentation, clearly talked through it as thy progressed, split

us into small groups to role play the process as prospective voter and as phoner each, then took questions.

A really well managed and presented bit of training despite being delivered from multiple venues by

different people all in isolation, and far better than anything I ever did, it seemed to me! Enjoyable, useful

and efficient. They included links to virtual group Phone Banking sessions and their HelpDesk. I’m really

looking forward to getting started and to doing something to oust Trump, though can’t start til the end of the

month because next week is SIC Summer School and that is full on in terms of time. I am so glad to be

able to do something practical to get rid of this abominable president. I have decided against the letter

writing as it requires letters to be posted from the UK, which means UK stamps. I’m afraid that UK stamps

could well put off potential voters (foreignness and all that), plus I can’t go to a post office, so have dropped

out of that effort. They wanted to know if I could send letters in bunches to someone in the US to post but

my brothers are suspect in that regard and I don’t want to stir up trouble by using one of their more

sympathetic wives! Molly has finally set out for the South Coast of England where she will spend a week

shadowing the F1 she will replace. She is 5 hours late, in tears at leaving her home, her life here and her

family, it’s pouring rain, the M4 is shut between Cardiff and Swansea, and a vehicle catches fire on

opposite carriageway of the M4 above Newport, so not the best start to her new life. She reports that she

got to the M25, the sun was shining and she found herself excited and really starting to look forward to her

new chapter! She arrived at 10pm fortunately the AirBnB hostess had said: ‘Don’t worry, just breathe’ when

she phoned to say how late she would be! She was met by a friend and former classmate, who took some

stuff for her including her violin, and the hostess and her son helped them move everything else into their

garage. A good start indeed.

21st July Sunday: lots of phone calls and phots from Molly, showing us her new (temporary) place, right on

the beach – literally. She has a small patio with a little low brick wall at the beach end with a little gate onto

the pebbly-looking beach, where she has already been swimming! Breakfast comes with the BnB, so she is

well set up! So grateful to be able to hare her arrival and settling in via WhatsApp text and photos! We are

so lucky she is a girl and keeping us ‘with’ her so well too! She has chosen well – and is able to because

she is paying effectively half the rental price due to income from her own house and lodgers. Having pa id

off her student loans with our last gift in August she can afford to live better than most students in her

situation -fortunately, too, she knows it!

20 July Mon

Telephone meeting with Lung Physio postponed as he has found himself called into a meeting on his return

from holiday. They were so good, as they phoned to tell me and reschedule. It’s the start of the SIC

Summer School week 2 at 10. A lot of music, and two pieces with a lot of notes! Zadoc the Priest a

coronation anthem by Handel has so many notes I’m not sure I can distinguish them let alone sing them,

and the words do stick in the craw of an American’s throat: Long Live the King, etc! Not at all sure I want to

sing that. The notes in the new piece Quanta Qualia go so far above the Soprano stave that I’ve never

even seen them written before and if I did manage to hit one I think he windows would break – it might get

rid of the neighbour’s cats though! Thankfully we don’t have to record that one. And the Parry I was Glad

doesn’t grab me, but we’ll see. It is usually the case that we singers turn up for rehearsal and turn our

noses up at some new piece or other but end up loving it once we’ve learned it. Only one short Introductory

session so have the day free to study the new music before the first rehearsal. As I still can’t walk, there’s

time.

Wonderful to know that there are hundreds, literally, all around the world, settling in together to do the same

thing and produce a concert at the end. These online choirs are so amazingly beneficial. They require a

sort of ‘willing suspense of disbelief’ like all theatre, but they work! We are so fortunate to have such a

congenial calm and knowledgeable conductor, backed by a highly skilled musician with a knack for

technology, whose brainchild the whole thing is. The conductor is skilled at making you feel that you are

really there in the same room, and Mark Stephens is there live, and in real time throughout each session, to

offer tips to people having trouble signing in or using the technology – and, interestingly – to keep potential

hackers or non-payers out! They host live sessions all week on YouTube so you can see people signing in

from all over the world in different time zones, but all keen and ready to learn and sing. I see a comment

from another American but in the US saying how challenging it is for Americans to learn these pieces

because we lack the choral tradition that most British children absorb through their early school days, but

she is as keen as any of the others. This may explain though why I feel it is a lot to learn in a week!

Molly’s first day of work as a proper Doctor! Spoke to her briefly on the way to the hospital and she had

managed to fit in a swim -easy enough when the sea is on her doorstep I guess but still – and a great way

to remove some tension. She sent us pictures of herself all dressed for work with her bright orange wipe -

clean shoulder bag we made (the fabric looks like something they issue at Guantanamo) but she has her

little protein bar and stethoscope and room for her car keys and any essential kit alongside a kit the hospital

gives them – the young docs call it something very rude meaning dummies bag but it is good to know that

the hospital is handing out masks to everyone who enters. Really great to hear her voice at the end of the

day: they asked her to prescribe, and she said she’d rather wait but they pushed her and she did, and did it

well, so she’s super chuffed. One of the patients liked her bag, and commented on it being homemade, in a

good way I hope?! She likes the team, says the consultant was really nice and the F1 she is shadowing she

termed ‘really clear and thorough, borderline autistic but that that was a boon in the circumstances! And

she was pleasantly surprised that the nurses did things for her when asked, so a good start! So glad for

her. She is delighted to find that it was exciting and fun and wonderful to be working again and that she’s

so glad she did the course!

No afternoon rehearsal for me so made time to send a Letter to the Guardian Letters Page about their

report in today’s paper about Boris’s failed attempt to shoehorn Failing (Chris) Grayling into the SIC & in the

words of their correspondent reporting that a fellow committee member said that ‘Grayling didn’t see it

coming’. Again you couldn’t make it up, trying to put someone into the Chair of the country’s main

espionage oversight committee who didn’t have the nous to know a group of fellow committee members

was plotting to keep him out of the chair - a guy who didn’t see it coming as head of the government’s own

ISC. Oh dear. Sent it off only to realise that I’m a day too late: this is yesterday’s paper! Today’s is still in

quarantine…!

22 July

Morning rehearsal as an Alto, which I almost missed as its in my diary for the Soprano rehearsal this

afternoon. Emerge exhilarated and loving Zadoc the Priest – what a tribute to our conductor – and a bit to

Handel too of course, but my goodness, what a treat it was to learn to sing it! Sean our Conductor, taught

us step by step how to do the trilly bits, starting with a short 5 not sequence, onto a 12 note on, and then a

very complicated looking 26 note thing. I’m still doubtful a to being able to actually sing it myself but am

bowled over by how much fun the piece is to hear and sing! Accompanied by the Choir and organ of

Westminster Abbey helps too. So that’s one set of prejudices knocked away. Just about to make lunch

when am surprised to see my Book Group Zoom starting – must get on top of my diary, thought it was

tomorrow and as working out how to manage clashing Zooms with only 1 pc with a working camera, but

this solves that problem. I have to attend as I suggested the book, another surprise! Unfortunately I am

dressed in a grotty T-shirt, etc -the hostess is, as always, perfectly turned out, she’s even had her hair cut,

and the burgundy tint is now a pale rosey pink, which is perfectly colour coordinated with her clothes, and

she looks lovely, calm and efficiently in charge of her life – and us. A very good discussion among 6 of us,

2 others tried to connect and failed, 1 of whom I rushed my re-reading of the book to give to her and thus

didn’t finish what critics called the most thrilling ending of any book he’d read!

Everyone was still talking when the first Zoom ended abruptly and seemed never to have stopped when I

logged into the second session! Was so glad they all enjoyed it so much. Had a nice lunch limping into the

garden and a lovey lazy sit with h afterwards, then our peaceful feeling of calm was upended by a phone

call with our Bank, a telephone-only bank. Fred had phoned them to pay one of our local traders who has

just delivered, when the Bank clerk informed him that he needed to go through a personal identity check. I

wasn’t in the room and Fred called me in to help him effect the process they wanted him to go through to

complete their verification process. He handed me the phone, I went through the usual security checks, and

became alarmed by the things they wanted us to do, prompting me to question the security of that! Fred

pointed out to me via a note that he had called them so I could be reassured, but I wasn’t. We have been

customers of this bank in its former constellation since we sat down in the bank manager’s office as

newlyweds, aged 23, 40 years ago, with very little to call income but Fred’s father had his account there.

Since then the Bank has been taken over by HSBC, and this offshoot had become the first telephone bank,

which we started using as soon as it started up as a bank. In the past we have had difficulty with HSBC

over FATCA on two separate occasions, requiring not a little bit of hassle but finally managing to meet their

requirements to register all the foreign assets and income we don’t have. All that entailed quite a few

sleepless nights, one set while I was fighting off double pneumonia and pleurisy so it has stuck in my mind!

Against that background, and all we read about people losing their life savings to bank frauds or fraudsters

posing as legitimate banks, I was getting mighty suspicious – and agitated. After a further half hour’s

conversation with the bank clerk, whose knowledge of the procedures was not particularly reassuring , I

understood what documents the Bank wanted and how to put them forward using their secure online

system. She said that it was because HSBC had discovered that their account verification procedures had

not been followed as well as they should have been and that these procedures were to protect against

money laundering violations. Well I certainly concur that HSBC has not been squeaky clean in the money-

laundering department. We think they are suspicious because we have given money gifts to our children

each of the past 5 years, to help Molly through Med School, and of course we want to treat both daughters

equally. Don’t suppose hearing my American accent, usually sounding stronger via the phone, helps much.

It is also galling that the staff don’t seem to get that 73 year olds who are Shielding a) can’t get to a post

office to send certified post, nor can they get to a lawyer to certify signatures and they may not manage to

work digital procedures all that well either, so we are both feeling unsettled by this new demand. And the

evening news is full of the rocketing virus numbers in the US – all contributing to a lot more anxiety.

Settle down to supper and watch Mrs America, and to our great surprise, find it riveting! Realise I’ve never

felt discriminated against so haven’t really gotten on board with this history – then remember my fury when

I discovered that my male fellow NHS Trust Executive Team members were earning twice as much as me,

then I did go to the CEO, who professed surprise and ignorance of the fact but agreed to ‘see to it’ which

resulted in a nice increase, but not quite to the same level as my male colleagues…! Late phone call from

Molly who has had a wonderful day, being told by her overseeing F1 that the team think she’s doing a very

good job and that the consultant said she was the best F1 they’d ever had and wants to keep her! So glad

for her. She has been to see her new flat taking us on a video tour via WhatsApp as she goes round the

parking lot and marina and on to the beach. Can tell by her voice that she’s not impressed by ‘the rood

boys cars’ in the parking lot – turns out this refers to BMWs and their ostensibly arrogant young male

owners…She has been pointed towards another flat and walks the 3-4 miles to see it, stays or dinner in a

nearby café and talks to someone she recognises as working for the hospital, and her husband who say

the area is lovely and quiet.

She is also charmed by the sights of surfers, sailors, kayakers and swimmers off the beach there. She is an

avid sea swimmer. She is now considering forfeiting her deposit and choosing the other flat as she walks

the 4 miles back to her car, in the rain, so start worrying about all that I go to bed!

23 July Thursday

Second SIC rehearsal and more great music: now I like the Parry too! It is learnable (if I had another week)

and fun to sing, who knew? Well, I guess every other educated British choir member or school finisher!

Wonderful and enjoyable, and good to be learning so much. Really wonderful to be so absorbed and

helpful to be resting my hip. Think it’s helping. Emollient reply from Graham Cairns: much

misunderstanding nothing to see here, da da da da, need to check the facts before replying.

Outraged by the publication of the SIC’s long suppressed (17 months?) report on Russian interference in

the Brexit election, the government’s alleged failure even to recognise the existence of such interference

dressed up as it is as donations to the Tory party by Russian friends, who happen to be oligarchs and

newspaper owners. Thank heavens for Julian Hodge, who Johnson wants to expel from the party but has

had to ‘settle for’ removing the Tory whip from him. Goodness the very language smacks of weird public

schoolboy rituals, trying to ostracise a fellow party member who has had the sense to stand up for the

country not the party. Outrage further fed by listening to a Guardian Live broadcast by Carole Cadwaladr

and Luke Harding discussing his new boo Shadow State. Really interesting though infuriating.

Bank emailed to say that our documents failed to meet their requirements. We will have to try again – ugh!

24th July

SIC rehearsal and concert – funny how nerve -wracking ! Dress for the occasion, then not ready and too

shy suddenly to do much more than mime. Lot of music to learn in such a short time but so uplifting – lot of

online supportive comment back and forth on the Facebook page and during the sign ins: someone from

Singapore, lots of Americans and Canadians, Australians too, despite the time differences – and really

effective efforts to make it real and interactive – incredible treat to be part of. And happily, hip is slightly

better. Reality boost at end as a live interactive cross continental gift presentation is made to Sean, to thank

him for his efforts to lead and present the Messiah, the first of the SIC’s ventures. Wonderful to see this and

how touched he is! The FB page, and all the comments made each day on it, has also helped make us

realise that this is very much a real live choir, working and singing together. A kind member recently posted

a note Sean had sent the original members as they were about to record their parts alone, at home, in The

Messiah.

In summary Sean told us all that he and Mark were aware that they were pushing the singers out and past

their comfort zones and to remember that they too were working outside their comfort zones. Sean

revealed that although he had been choral singing almost all his life, and conducting all his adult life, he

was terribly nervous trying to conduct in an empty room! It is all so encouraging and supportive and helps

create a real sense of shared learning and belonging, which seems more necessary than ever now we are

so isolated. End the week with a strange feeling of accomplishment, having learned so much!

Try again to find, match and upload verification documents via the bank’s ‘secure portal’, get timed out. Try

again but beginning to seethe with frustration at the difficulty of getting the documents clearly enough

positioned in the time allotted. All this is because we are getting older and less deft and less able to

manipulate the technical requirements, all very dispiriting

End the day with a phone call from Molly, buzzing from the excitement of ending her much dreaded first

week so well. Next week she starts the real Induction with the rest of the F1s who will be working at the

hospital this year. Day 1 will be an 8-hour course and exam, finishing with 4 hours shadowing the night

shift, in preparation for the following week when she actually will be in charge of the hospital all night – they

are mad! The following day will be more of the same…Nonetheless she is thrilled to bits and expecting 1 of

her best friends for the weekend, fitting in revision and negotiations on a flat before then. She is energetic,

that girl! So pleased for her.

25th July

Hip may be getting better afraid to say it out loud but praying. Molly sent us loads of photos of her

explorations of the South coast, including discovering their sea rowing club, several pubs and gardens, all

by bike. So glad she has found somewhere by the sea. It looks a lot warmer and drier there too!

27th Mon

Pouring rain after hot muggy night, with an early morning thunderstorm, and rain forecast all day – and hip

is worse, darn. Quiet day catching up with this diary and resting hip, which feels a bit better as the day is

ending. Watched a really interesting webinar hosted by the RSM summarising progress on COVID 19

treatments, and outcomes. Poignant contribution from a leading doctor in Uganda, saying that they had

been fortunate to lock down early, based on the experiences of other countries, and therefore had had only

200 cases, most of which had been very mild and only 2 deaths. They had made this decision to lockdown

early because they hadn’t had much expectation that nay vaccine would get to them very quickly! Good

conference though, showing the dedication and determination to identify and share empirical evidence of

treatment regimes but more importantly to share data collection and findings. Takeaways are: Social

Distancing works, Shielding works, less invasive ventilation earlier works as does treatment with

dexamethasone. They advocate more mask wearing.

Watched a Guardian Live event with Luke Harding author of The Secret Sae interviewed by Carole

Cadwaladr. Hair raising. His thesis that Putin is no great strategist, but that he operates opportunistically to

disrupt as much as he can as often as he can with the aim of de-stabilising western democracies.

Disinformation campaigns are powerful and effective, as the rising numbers of anti-vaxxers and conspiracy

theorists show. After listening to this I’m alternately horrified and scare – and also afraid I may be becoming

another kind of conspiracy theorist! Vicky recalls meeting a Russian man while she was there for the World

Cup 2 years ago. She said he told them that he was in IT and worked for a Russian troll farm, as casually

as if it was a call centre!

Finally started our free trial of Netflix, on the back of Molly’s new registration. Horrible trying to find films we

like as one is bombarded by adverts for all sorts, but fortunately we could remember 1 or 2 we’d missed

last year and found a really good one. It’s been so long since we’ve been to a cinema, since Fred’s stroke,

we’re out of the information loop on what’s coming out. Our choice is a good one and we are all rapt!

28th July

Quiet day again, and Fred not feeling up to joining his recorder group’s weekly Zoom. Try to do some

internet searches and come up with some ideas that may help. Also, he has a chat by phone with one of

the Rehab Team members and resolves to nap before lunch again, when he feels tired out, and increase

his Gabapentin (restless legs treatment, handed out like sweeties on the Stroke Ward, now classed as a

controlled drug, which the GPs have encourage him to reduce. But the Stroke Consultant told him it was

fine and if he’d tried to reduce it but was having difficulties, he should go back to the original dose.). Now he

will, as he’s had enough despite trying for several months to manage on a lower dose. His lack of sleep and

my enforced inactivity is combining to tip us into a downward spiral: he tries to sleep later and later to

make up for disturbed nights, are day starts later and later, pushing lunch back now til many people’s

teatime, and we are completely out of synch with the rest of the world, making it almost impossible to plan

any kind of get togethers, even by phone. All this makes me feel doubly isolated, so I need to get a grip.

Early evening Guardian Live Event with Robert Reich a US political analyst, formerly Secretary of Labour

under Obama, and Guardian correspondent. His wifi is terrible with a lot of buffering (I know that this is

typical of US wifi, most Europeans would be horrified and refuse to accept this level of service!)

Nonetheless this thesis is interesting: sure that Trump will refuse to leave office despite the election results,

so November and December will be ‘nasty’, the Courts will have to decide the outcome, and Trump still

won’t go. Reich pins his hopes on the military who, so far, have remained true to their oath to uphold the

Constitution. Let’s hope. Will try to start Phone banking as soon as possible.

29th July Wed

Hip was better yesterday so make a quick very early morning trip to the boat. It’s a beautiful calm warm

morning, very light winds and we are able to get down to the boat with minimal traffic, as its early and the

schools are now finished for the summer. A bit stunned to see a very large motorboat moored behind us,

close behind us so I gingerly manoeuvre us out: the worry is that I might hit them while I’m reversing but

also there’s a rather big shiny anchor jutting out from their bow, not very far above our heads! But there is

no wind and out we get without incident. Still no commercial traffic – or, too early for it, and a very peaceful

Bay to enjoy! Even though we are back at the pontoon at 9.30am by the time we leave the boat there are a

lot of people about, so more ducking and diving to keep our distance. A cheery young man thanks us and

says, ‘hopefully we won’t have to do this much longer’, but am not so sanguine. So good to get out but

resolve to have a quiet rest of the day because the trip involved a lot more walking than I’ve done in a

while. Fingers crossed.

Bank emails again to say documents not acceptable. Try again but truly furious by now. Try again, fail to

get acknowledgement from the site that everything is received so Fred phones the bank. Fingers crossed…

30th Thursday

As COVID case numbers continue to rise in Europe (Spain especially, but Germany France and Belgium

close behind) Boris Johnson has increased the number of countries on the quarantine list. Much upset

when it turns out that a couple of Ministers are now ‘stranded’ abroad and tour companies – but notably

NOT EasyJet – start cancelling their own package tours for August – at the same time our Inboxes receive

daily promotional adverts to ‘book now and save’. Hip hurts again so have to stay quiet. This is affecting

Fred: he is struggling with lack of exercise while I’m not moving much, it encourages his legs to trouble him

during the night and increases the number of times he has to get up, all of which depresses him. I’m a bit

down too as hip isn’t better. But it is responding to rest and pain gel and cold packs, so I guess it’s just got

to be more of the same. Can’t face phoning the doctor as I don’t want to visit the surgery. A bit of a

downhill cycle. But have got a new audiobook from the Library. Thought I was getting an eBook but this

turns out to be great and very diverting. More Netflix before bed so everyone is happy.

31st July

Just as cases are rising in Europe, Boris J announces more changes. His new slogan ‘Hands, face, space’

is deemed to be catchy by focus groups, but unfortunately is in the reverse order of importance in terms of

deterring further spread of the infection. We are seeing masses of Brexit ads ‘we are leaving, get set, go’

stuff but no ads for wearing masks, despite them now being compulsory in shops in England but at the

same time he has said that Shielding is no longer necessary and that shielders can now go back to work!

This would be simply ludicrous and could be ignored but for the fact that the English government is

withdrawing all food support to this group. Happily this change doesn’t affect Wales, which still isn’t

mandating mask wearing. Can’t see the logic or the science being followed. Scientists are becoming

increasingly more vocal in getting their own message out separately. The younger generation though gets

more of its information from social media than from traditional sources and so there is an awful lot of

muddled thinking out there, which reduces the likelihood of compliance with social distancing measures.

Well, that’s the end of July. Vicky says the senior editors are -rethinking the plans for the September return

to the office. This is backed up by a message from their Works Council. We are keeping our fingers

crossed, very selfishly! Molly starts her first day as a real F1, tomorrow and has been told that she will now

be on the Respiratory Ward for her next rotation (the winter months!) as the Stroke ward has decided

against having F1s. Oh dear there must have been an incident to prompt this change to this stage. Mo re

importantly Molly seems to have forgotten that she is asthmatic, she will try to change it I hope. Fortunately,

her new hospital seems to try to protect its staff with masks being mandatory for all. Their second day of

Induction was mask free as they were joined by new entrants to a neighbouring hospital whose regime is

less stringent. The next day the Infection Control people put an end to the laxity – in her hospital at least –

saying ‘masks work, wear them’! Perhaps the younger doctors don’t want to look silly or afraid and need a

clear instruction – don’t we all!

August 2020

1st Sat

Can’t quite believe it is August already. It is hard to see how fast time is passing, while doing almost

nothing – apart from fretting and fuming! The way things are going is hard to cope with and I fear I may be

over-exaggerating my fears over going out by keeping too much in touch with the emerging news stories.

As far as I can tell, case numbers are rising, though not uniformly, across England, less rapidly in Wales. It

looks like I may have missed the boat in terms of safely meeting up with others now, but its hard to tell. I

don’t want to be fearful and alarmist but on the other hand because I’d kept up with the international data

on incidence and spread during February, in order to decide whether or not to go ahead with our planned

US trip to see family and gather for a Christening, I knew enough to self-isolate by early March. It was only

weeks later that the Shielding letter arrived, well after Johnson’s lockdown on March 23, now pretty much

universally acknowledged as being too late to stop the spread effectively. Now case numbers are not that

much lower and Johnson has told Shielders in England to go back to work – can’t see the sense of it, if

RSM’s conclusions are that the 3 things that work to limit infection spread are social distancing and masks,

hygiene and shielding vulnerable people. Now it turns out that SSP will be withheld from those shielders

who don’t return to work. Not sure if maybe I’m just being paranoid and keep wavering between wanting to

go ahead and invite friends to the garden or not! Very uncomfortable and stressful.

Managed to finally figure out the complexities of printing, signing, and posting my ballot for the CT state

Democratic Party primary Aug 11. Think I managed to buy the appropriate amount of postage (£2.42!) and

print it out, but it certainly doesn’t look anything like a stamp, so do hope very much that it is correct and

acceptable as postage! The ballot requirements are labyrinthian with a final request to send in the original

application, which I eventually managed to locate in the piles of stuff waiting to be filed, but the envelope

was getting bulkier; hope it’s still in the right range for the postage I purchased online. It took ages including

watching a not-terribly-helpful video on YouTube to figure out the international postage rate in the first

place, so by the time I got it to the post box it had taken half the day. Still things are reportedly worse in the

US where postal votes are being allowed. Trump is claiming postal votes are going to be largely fraudulent

though absentee ballots will be fine – but they are the same thing. Not content with having put in place

myriad steps to make it harder for people to register to vote, he has now replaced the US Postmaster

General, who promptly cut staff numbers drastically in the name of efficiency, thus potentially ensuring that

many votes don’t get to the voting office on time! Need to get started on the Phone banking, so get stuck

into reviewing the training, only to find that the restrictions on times to phone, due to different time zones,

are pretty tight : 0500 BDT-1000 and 1700-0200! On the present chaotic schedule in this house that will be

a challenge but am determined to have a go.

Molly enjoying a good day off recovering from a stressful Induction Week and needs to find accommodation

for herself from Friday, when she starts the night shift for 3 nights, responsible for the Admissions Ward

(she will have been a ‘proper doctor’ for all of 3 days by then!). Feel for her! And of course worried that she

will be sleeping in her car (she says that those newly arrived F1s who had opted for short-term hospital

accommodation would rather have slept in the Bus Shelter…). Nonetheless, really good to catch up with

her, and chat albeit briefly. She sends us photos of her night out with a former classmate at a neighbouring

hospital. It’s hot and breezy there and they are at an outdoor pub garden for dinner. Can’t see any sign they

are social distancing, but good to see them in almost real time thanks to WhatsApp.

Increasingly frustrated by forced inactivity due to hip starting to hurt again every time I do anything much for

more than 20 minutes or so, and guilty because I know both my inactivity and frustration impacts on

everybody else around me!

Start another surprisingly engrossing Netflix film – really good fun for us all, even for Vicky who is working

late so only joins us for the last half, but is quickly engrossed and really enjoys it.

1st Phone banking session while Fred naps: 25 calls done, and finally feel I’m getting the hang of it. Dems

Abroads are starting a new tack, to encourage all voters to register asap, and then to send in FWABs:

Federal Write In Absentee Ballots. State LEOs have to accept these if they are received in time.

Apparently the FWABs will be discounted by the LEO if the voter’s formal ballot is received, but it acts as a

guaranteed ballot if the other doesn’t. It is particularly important if a State requires a postal vote to be

received even if an email one has been sent. This is a serious issue in this presidential election now that

Trump has appointed a big Republican Party donor to the office of Postmaster General, whose first action

was to throw out a fair proportion (if not all) of the automatic mail sorters and a fair few mailman.

Simultaneously Trump is claiming that mail in votes are fraudulent and a new thing introduced by

Democrats to skew the election results. It is interesting to see how Trump only ever accuses opponents of

the things he is doing himself! But not funny and actually quite scary. Am resolved to do more Phone

banking in early September. None of the formal ballots will be mailed/emailed until 19 September and I

discover that the candidate lists aren’t yet prepared for my state Connecticut, so despite DAs exhortations,

it seems a tad too soon to start this bandwagon rolling. Still need to figure out if the thing I printed out from

the Post Office site is actually recognised by postmen as a stamp!

Mon 3rd

Good Non Fiction Book Group session on Zoom, over 2 free sessions, to which most people managed to

get logged on again. Surprising amount of enthusiasm for the book, which made for a very lively

discussion too. Good to see everyone - these are an enthusiastic bunch but also wished for more time: this

group’s discussions usually last a good 2 hours in same space meetings, ie Before Covid - perhaps a new

use of BC will now evolve? More talk of people experimenting with getting out, most spoke of some

trepidation and that its almost harder to negotiate space safely and confidently now that restrictions are

lifting. Just altogether more difficult for the more vulnerable it seems. Unsettling to me, as unsure how best

to proceed, how far to venture out etc. I guess happily it’s a moot point for the moment as hip is too painful

to walk much yet anyway. The lack of clarity about one’s individual risk is difficult, compounded by the

ridiculously confused English government’s advice – better to assume that if BJ advocates a course of

action, do the opposite: an incredible state of affairs to conceive of, only a few months ago.

Friday 7th

Zoom with closest friend. Nice to see her but again leaves me feeling unsettled. She is happily, if somewhat

nervously looking forward to going away to meet up with her family and their teenage offspring next week.

It is hard to find ourselves on different wavelengths on this now. I can’t imagine us doing the same, and

feel sad about that, though glad for her. Finally recognise later that of course we have different attitudes to

our respective risks at this point: she and her husband though a little older are in good health and are very

fit. She has been consistently doing half an hour daily on her indoor exercise bike throughout this long

period since March, whereas I have not and have gone backwards in fitness terms due to my blasted hip!

Depressing to have to face – again – that my health is in absolute terms worse, and my risk level is also

higher, in absolute terms as well as relative, so there I is, I just have to face it – in contrast to my usual,

much preferred stance of denial! Bummer. The endless veering between thinking I am the same as

everyone else, and then facing facts, is tiring and draining, I just need to get a grip – and hold on to it.

Mon 10th August

Receive letter from CMO Wales informing me that all is well in Wales and that I can go into shops etc but

with caution, from 16th August. Immediately thrown into confusion and think I should start inviting people

round for coffee in the garden – or shouldn’t. The letter’s cautious tone is welcome, but heaven help the

people who are relying on food parcels etc because these will stop. We could not be luckier. We are well

set up for deliveries – for the moment but concerned that the chemist only has to keep delivering til the end

of the month. In our case the whole household is self-isolating, so we are dependent on deliveries – but at

least we can afford to pay for them, and have a garden to relax in and enjoy. At the moment though our

‘schedule’ is so off kilter that invitations would be impossible to issue. Fred is sleeping so erratically due to

his restless legs syndrome that our meals have no set time anymore and we are going with the flow – a bit

like the days immediately after bringing a new baby home from the hospital, totally shapeless days! Oh

well, maybe that’s all for the best. Start keeping an eye on Welsh infection levels: they are indeed low right

now. But its holiday time and lots of Englanders come to Wales for their holidays so it won’t be long before

levels start to rise again!

Good news from Molly who is enjoying her newest Air BnB: an old stone Victorian house with a swimming

pool, dear god, she has lucked out. It’s not cheap but beautiful and trustworthy with a newly single mum

and teenage children. She is about to start a weekend of night shifts so day sleeping may be tough, but

she is happy, and safe, all her mother wants! And the weather is hotting up now, so a swimming pool on

site is something to treasure. The accommodation involves shared kitchen and entrance, so may be

problematic for the upcoming night shifts but Molly is happy!

Tuesday 11 August

Great news for us: Vicky’s office manager is back from holiday and confirms that they won’t be asking

anyone to return to the office before the end of the year. WE are so lucky to have her here, she is so

delightful and such an enormous help. She does too much for us in fact. All her friends in Berlin are full of

holiday plans and send photos of their outings and she is stuck in, here with us. We feel for her and feel

guilty. But she is adamant: if she were in Berlin she would be subject to all sorts of pressures to go out, go

to places and join in things that she doesn’t feel would be safe. Nevertheless she is giving up so much for

us! ITM the working arrangements are holding up and she is working full time, with only ½ hour break per 8

hour shift, which she observes religiously – and still manages to make amazingly varied and delicious

meals and do so many chores – we are spoiled rotten!

Thursday 13th August

Hot now and finding it hard to cope with it. Have been trying to keep heat headaches at bay all week,

drinking all I can fit in but it’s not enough to stay sufficiently hydrated. Had to resort to a tepid bath

immediately, this afternoon, having drunk several bottles of water and can’t fit any more in yet already head

achy and very very hot. Have tried wet wash cloths which worked yesterday but not today. This is no time

to need an ambulance – and they would be unlikely to arrive on time anyway. Thankfully the cool bath

works, but the episode has scared me a bit. This inability to regulate my body temperature has been a

problem for about 10 years now, but seems to be getting worse. Scolded by Molly, with new Dr hat firmly in

place: Do I know how serious it is that I can’t cool down, etc etc. Promise to order crisps and sugary fizzy

drinks tomorrow. Should have realised this was coming and done that in advance, funny how easy it is to

forget these obvious precautions. Turn on fan outside the bedroom door for the night and that helps too.

Realise again how important it is to have less clothes on too.

Sat 15th August

Molly reports back after her first night on duty: someone brandished a gun, someone died, someone else

sprayed wee (urine) all over an accompanying policeman…don’t think they’ve shown that one on the A&E

TV series? What sheltered lives we live: after 30+ years working in the NHS, that’s a new one for me. Molly

has enjoyed the first night shift, wired on adrenaline and excitement at getting through it all! Two more to

go.

Friday 21st August

Molly’s host family is in France, due back next Tuesday and quarantining is announced for all returnees

from France. Molly is alarmed at the possibility of having to share facilities with the family on their return in

case they are infected and she becomes the unknowing conduit to an infection outbreak among her

patients. She really cares about them as individuals and feels very protective of them. I suggest she

consults Occupational Health but there isn’t time for a reply before she has to make a decision to move and

find alternate temporary accommodation before the family returns. She consults her fellow medics on her

ward team, and they confirm she is right to be worried saying ‘oh no you wouldn’t want that to get out’!

Mon 24th August

Hip is so much better that I tried, and enjoyed, a walk with Fred, including a couple of rounds of the church

lawn, which is so good for his foot and knee flexibility. Good to be out with him again on what was a nice

break in the day for us both, until the hip started hurting. Fingers crossed. We got rained off and were

rescued with umbrellas by Vicky. Fred did a turn on his APT – that has been such a treat for him, and

mostly he can get on it and attached unaided now. He looks so relaxed pedalling again. He decides to

explore purchasing/rental options for the future. I’m willing to pay a lot for it, but he isn’t!

Happy Zoom with closest friend, just back from 10 days on the Dorset coast with her 3 grown up children

and their young teenaged children. I felt sad during our last conversation before she left. It is hard to

realise how different our respective risk thresholds are, even though we are, individually and collective,

pretty similar in our usual approach to risk. I have to remind myself that my risk levels are actually different.

They are really healthy and fit, neither takes a single pill, even though they are a little older. We are fellow

distance touring cyclists (or at least we were, they still are!) but Fred’s hypertension needs 5 daily pills, and

I’ve stopped counting my daily intake of medicines: weekly chemotherapy, daily steroids etc: lung disease

and Rheumatoid Arthritis aren’t a good combination to fight off a COVID-19 infection, so the upshot is I

have to be more careful because I am at more risk. Seems I have to remind myself of this several time s a

day now that restrictions are formally being lifted.

In Wales, Shielding is ‘Paused’, an interestingly cautious way of putting it, it seems. Anyway, it was great

to chat and hear tales from the outside world and a sort of foreign one at that, as England seems to be an

increasingly alien land. They have been so careful, and really not done much more than we would have:

staying in a separate family from their childrens’ rented house, never entering it at all, and only meeting up

outside and taking all meals in the younger peoples’ garden, even in the rain! And now, bless them, they

are self-quarantining in case they’ve become infected! Their caution is so different from so many of our

contemporaries. Book Group’s organisers have scheduled September’s meeting for outdoors in her home

garden and is suggesting lunch – sounds like fun, but not for me, or for my friend either, interestingly – and

reassuringly! Happily, neither of us wants to read the book chosen for September, so that is a blessing. We

are trying to push for additional Zoom sessions, but not til October maybe. Wonderful to chat with her again

and we make tentative plans to meet in our garden when they emerge – which is perfect really as I was not

planning to suggest any get togethers before then anyway. ITM Fred needs to be able to sleep better so

that we can get ourselves onto some sort of schedule that loosely aligns with the rest of society. Honestly

we used to eat out 3 or 4 times a week regularly, but at this rate no one would be open to serve us at the

hours we are eating, even if we could go out! We have a good chat and good laughs, leaving me feeling

altogether better about life and prospects. Happy rest of the evening, trying to knit teddy bears with Vicky.

She is very much a beginner knitting and the project is really too complicated for a learner, but she is not

giving up! Lots of re-doings instead, but all good. Not sure it is helping her relax though!

Long chat with Molly who finally manages to locate and book alternative accommodation. The mother of

her present host has been by daily to walk the dogs and kindly left Molly some fresh vegetables from her

garden. She is dismissive of the government’s concerns and the quarantine restrictions but Molly firmly

holds her ground, informing the woman of her intention to leave on Monday so as not to meet the returning

family.

So cross at the continuing BBC news bleating tales of poor travellers having to go to extraordinary lengths

to ‘get back to GB in time to beat the government’s hastily imposed quarantine’ that send an email to the

BBC PM Program. Honestly it may be the only thing the government is doing right at the moment. Not a

word in the press reports about the need to keep Covid infections down here at home.

Tuesday 25 August

Storm Francis is beating down on us and the winds are the strongest we’ve experienced in a while – if ever,

if they reach forecasted speeds. Everything outside is safely stowed: parasol on the ground, rotary

washing line and new plant (anniversary gift for Fred) carefully tucked into the greenhouse. We lose our

green garden waste bag in the chaos – the council’s collectors ask for these on a Monday but routinely fail

to collect them til Tuesday since lockdown. The post on the other hand seems to be back on schedule.

The plant arrived really quickly, and in good nick. End the day watching a TV series on The Murdochs:

horrifying, and yet nothing compared to the ‘chumocracy’ prevailing now under Mssrs Johnson and Co, and

then there I the horror show that is Trump and Co.

Molly has managed to move! Despite being refused by her first choice on the grounds that Covid

restrictions mean they wouldn’t have sufficient time to clean before she wanted to move in (good and

reassuring to hear, in one sense) she didn’t hear til 9am yesterday on her way to work so had all that to fix

up by the time she finished work, she managed. She is always very competent but we are very relieved

indeed. The new place is meant for students so has 3 beds in the room, but it beats the bus shelter.

Molly’s phones full of good cheer and tales of ‘helping out’ by eating out courtesy of the Chancellor’s

subsidies. She reports that it was really hard to get a table at all: having left work at 5.00pm she spent an

hour in Tesco’s car park trying to get a table, and finally did so only by showing up and queuing outdoors,

and she wasn’t the only person in the queue. She is loving her job and things are going well, with a lot of

Firsts behind her now, one month in. Bless her, she is thrilled to bits with her first paycheck! Probably half

of what she was earning as a Band 7/8 Lab Manager in the hospital near home, but she fears they’ve

overpaid her! After 5 years as a student (even though well subsidised by her parents, and with earnings

from 2 lodgers much of the time). She is feeling flush enough to donate to Doctors.Org and a crowd-

funded movement to sue the government or the PPE shortages on the front line. Good to see her

commitment to both her job and to her fellow medics and nurses.

We reflect afterwards on what constituted a good day: having to turn off life support on one patient, remove

a foreign object from the innards of another…grisly everyday stuff I guess, but I think she means that

necessary procedures went as they should do, and that she had felt competent in the ones she had had to

carry out. Pretty good going for so early in her training. We are surprised and gratified to hear how happy

she is.

Wed 26 Aug

Woke up early to the rumbling of thunder not very far away to the east of us. Surprised to find I’d slept all

night without waking. It was still fairly dark, and I realised, again, how quickly the year is passing really can’t

believe we are approaching August Bank Holiday weekend in 2 days’ time! Still in self-isolation but hip is

easing so I can do more, and that means the days are passing more quickly.

Friday 28th August

Book group emails to invite us all to an outdoor meeting for the September book discussion. We were due

to be on a ferry to France then, and the chosen book was also a dire chick lit that I didn’t want to read

anyway, but nevertheless am again thrown: wishing to go but not wanting to risk it, so resolve to send

apologies. Happily my friend says during our afternoon Zoom that she doesn’t feel ready for a large

gathering yet, nor wants to read the chosen book. We have our continuing discussion about risks – again!

We resolve to put in a bid for voting for the next list by email at least and assume that October’s meetings

will be back to Zoom. Such a shame as far more of the group avoid the online meetings; the keenest

readers go for it which is nice for our discussions but sad to be excluding the rest. We’ll just have to wait

and see what happens – learning to be out of control is hard going!

Monday 31st

A good Bank Holiday weekend, and my hip is improving. We are ending August in good spirits: Fred

enjoying the APT, though he still really needs Botox for the increasing spasticity in his hand and arm and

leg and foot. The little stirrings of feeling in his foot are continuing and I’m keen for the return from holiday

of his Physio for further advice on stimulating that. And Fred is coming round to the idea of purchasing an

APT: good use of saved holiday funds is my argument and although he is revolted by the company’s

pricing policy which seems set to the captive hospital market with no attempt to facilitate a lower price for

home purchasers, he is beginning to find it doing him so much good that he may well agree to buying one:

we have a long indoor winter ahead, and he really needs the exercise. We are concerned about how best

to keep ourselves fit and well and both feel a flu shot is necessary, though our daughters are less keen on

us taking the risks of attending the surgery for one. The surgery has already been inundated with requests

from the vulnerable and have posted on Facebook asking people not to call the surgery that they are

making all the necessary arrangements and will contact us in early October. Seems that others are worried

too.

Nice phone call from neighbour who is a conservative parish councillor. I emailed him asking for his support

to get a Zebra crossing put into our road narrowing as traffic and car speeds have gotten faster since

restrictions eased: more cars on the road as people go back to work and avoid public transport even

though the Welsh government is not pushing people back too soon as the English government is trying to

bully people into doing. He is so kind and really supportive. Email a couple of other councillors one of

whom replies very fulsomely with support. Guess the Dr title helps! There are no Labour councillors, so try

a couple of Plaid Cymru ones as well. Interestingly none of them seems to know the process of effecting

such a change or even who is in charge of such things but at least they promise to find out. We’ve

canvassed a few of our neighbours too, on a very ad hoc basis and all have been supportive of the idea

and confirmed our impressions of the increased amount and speed of the traffic, so here’s hoping.

September 2020

5th Sept

Our 51st wedding anniversary! Celebration lunch, at home, really nice, even though it’s still just the 3 of us,

at home, like every other day! Listened to The Sixteen as part of our Season Ticket concert series, and

enjoyed mini-magnums for the interval. Realise again how important marking events with celebrations

actually is, in terms of keeping morale up. We had booked to be in France for this anniversary, in what

would have been our first trip abroad since Fred's stroke. Hopefully next year will be different and we'll get

there and Fred will be stronger by then too.

10th Sept

Book Group is meeting in the organiser's garden. Couldn’t face reading the book but sorry to miss out

seeing others, several of whom have not joined any of our Zoom meetings. It’s a beautiful day but I just

don't feel safe meeting in a group yet so send apologies. The organiser sweetly phoned to ask if I needed a

lift so confessed that I was just chicken. She was very understanding and kind about it even though she

was first off the block out as soon as restrictions started easing. I do hate missing things like this. Case

numbers are low in Wales, so but are going to start rising again soon, inevitably I think, given the

government’s exhortations to het back to school and work.

16 September

Out walking on the Church green, Fred's best practise site, and watch a group begin to gather for what

looks like an organised outing. An officious chap is waving a clip board around, importantly. Most of them

kindly keep their distance from us but the chap stands in our path as we try to leave. Fred politely tells him

we are trying to stay away from him but he replies dismissively, waving his arm and telling us ‘you're fine,

I'm far enough away' and doesn’t move! Seething, we carry on, but I am not pleased by such behaviour and

suspect that I would have told him do if I'd been on my own! Oh dear, what a cantankerous old lady I'm

becoming (or rather probably always have been)! Perhaps he's one of these QAnons...very worrying the

sudden rise in conspiracy theorists – but not surprising in the absence of clear concise credible information

from the government.

18 September

Pleased to see some of our neighbours swinging masks in their hands as they head up towards the shops.

One stopped us to say he'd forgotten his “but the chap up in the village, he's very good, he lets you in

without one"! As this neighbour is at least 80+, you might have thought he'd be glad to see some safety

measures in place as case numbers rise. Nope. He said its the young people that worry him because they

are taking no notice, behaving as if everything is normal. I'm just happy to see a few more masks in

evidence.

20 September

We seem to have missed the getting out window now and are resigning ourselves to remaining Shielding at

home for the long haul now. Interesting to realise that it’s actually less stressful to do so, with no more

fretting over each individual opportunity! Thankfully the static bike is still with us, so Fred can keep moving

and I will start once the weather gets worse. Am still keen to get outdoors on my own bike before the rains

start.

22 September

The local chat site on Facebook is steaming: Tesco is not enforcing Mask wearing among customers or

staff. But the proprietor of the convenience store on the main road is doing so, strictly, and is much praised

for his stance. Some reports of ‘maskist’ behaviour in the press and others of feeling victimised for not

wearing them!

Great early morning trip out on the boat, the Bay calm and clear, almost summer-like, warm and still, the

masts reflected on the waters surface, shimmery and bright. Its wonderful to have this time here with Vicky.

And we seem to have our rightful pontoon berth back. A relief as it’s the most easily accessible space for

us – and it’s been ours for 10 years, so don’t wish to be pushed out by someone bigger!

23 September

OMG now suddenly large parts of Wales are going into local lockdown. This time its borders that are

closing – but not pubs or restaurants. Surely wearing masks and not congregating indoors is what the

science indicates? Not for our good time frat boy PM tho. This doesn’t bode well!

24 Sept

French class restarts on Zoom. Great to see the others again, including one who has moved to France in

the last week! Very jealous as he shows us the view: sunshine and sea from his patio and a wave from his

wife as she heads to the beach! There are only 5 of us out of the 20 who registered last year, but it’s much

better than learning by email. Hard to hear, translate and contribute fast enough but very good for us all!

Nicholas rehearsal is wonderful: thrilling and stimulating, though hard to keep up with! This self isolation

choir is so good for me - and for all of us 1000+ members, if the FB page comments are anything to go by.

And interestingly we are beset by trolls throughout: 1 of the organisers keeps watch throughout each

rehearsal to bar them as they turn up!

26 Sept Sa

Beautiful sunny cold day and a great opportunity to take Vicky to the coast for a walk as it’s her first day off

in 2 weeks! Still don't feel comfortable walking on hills so we opt for Pwynt: some debate as to whether it’s

in Ystrad or Blutown! We can't go into Blutown – not keen to Covid- hunt. Miss the turning as we are

happily chatting and I can only remember the way we always got there by bike, end up by Westerndown,

which I think is in Blutown - and then remember belatedly that we have to pay to park, don't have any

change and really don't want to engage in a cash transaction anyway. By this time we're approaching

Pwynt and I remember that we have to pay there, too. Fortunately Fred's Blue Badge is in the car so we

use that and I limp a lot. I really don’t like misusing it this way. By the time we get back to the car though I'm

limping for real! Very fresh and windy, wonderful to sit and watch the bell buoy and walk to the lighthouse

and back, a nice treat for us, despite the Blythe disregard for any social distancing by our fellow walkers!

27 September Sunday

Beautiful crisp Fall day: clear bright and cool. Fred gets his Bike out for the first time post stroke and adapts

it for Vicky. He is adept at doing so, but it’s a bittersweet moment for him too. I've been looking forward to

getting out for a ride with Vicky and it seems a perfect day for it! Hear the news that the Vale is now in

lockdown from 6.00pm! May have overreached myself though as I can barely cycle the first mile without

wobbling and stopping – its uphill but barely and our planned rosebud 12+ miles round trip. Better once we

get going but hard for me so we turn back after getting to the barrage. So good to see it and the sea, and

the YC’s dinghy regatta going on! Absolutely fine in though so time to start getting some fitness back.

28 Sept

Head down for an early morning boat ride. Beautiful calm morning, little wind and a real treat to be on the

water. Surprised by traffic warning not to leave our County boundary just as I am driving back into ours.

Sure enough get home to find am email from the Commodore: apparently if you live outside Ochr Y Bae

CC then you can't visit the club or your boat, but if you do live within Ochr Y Bae CC you can visit the club

and eat and drink indoors – totally pointless, contradictory to the science and I've no intention of following

that when it’s still fine to have up to 30 people exercising alongside oneself indoors.

Phone banking for Democrats Abroad to encourage overseas Americans to vote. All 52 States have

different voting requirements, identification verification rules and timescales and methods for submitting

votes. Since there are 700, 000 Americans living overseas and eligible to vote, it’s important to try to

facilitate their votes as far as possible. Am aiming to do 100 calls at least before the end of the month: 55

done so far.