Corona Diaries

Luna

“I’ve noticed that my willingness to interact with people who want my attention has diminished

considerably…Skype calls are no substitute for human interaction. It has taken a toll on me mentally”.

Background information

Female, Aged 45-54, Employed at Accountancy Firm in South Wales, White, Married with one

Daughter, Heterosexual.

6th April 2020 – First entry

This was supposed to be my last day in work before 3 days off to get hitched. Having missed my last week

of annual leave in March (we were supposed to be in NYC for my partner’s 50th celebrations) I am tired,

mulish and selfishly seething over all the things I’ve missed out on. I know these things are tiny in the grand

scheme of humanity, illness, loss and grief but still I feel I have been cheated of a period of fun I was

looking forward to.

By this point I have been working from home for 3 weeks. I am accustomed to a sociable, people-filled daily

existence and swapping it for a day in front of a screen has been a shock: Skype calls are no substitute for

human interaction. It has taken a toll on me mentally.

I’ve noticed that my willingness to interact with people who want my attention has diminished considerably.

I only want to speak with a core group of friends and everyone else can just piss off. I just don’t have my

usual capacity for their neediness, and I know it’s horribly selfish, but I am desperately clinging to my last

vestiges of mental health and I have none to spare. Sorry not sorry.

Today one of my best friends has had to hold her mother’s cremation without any one to hold her hand. I

went to stand as the hearse went by and hated that I wasn’t able to hug her when she most needs a friend

or sit with her after a wake to help her through the worst hours. She drank alone and ordered a Domino’s

and acknowledge it was no way to grieve your parent.

I’ve always had a series of questions in my head that were more rhetorical than quantifiable and one of

them was a result of reading a host of books about the Tudor era: what the world sound liked in those days

before the industrial revolution. I’m now getting a sense of what it could have been like as aircraft noise, car

engines etc. dwindle to very little. I could hear the sea pulling at the stones on the beach from way up on a

cliff, birdsong is the most predominant feature of life outside and it’s a beautiful thing. Question an swered!

7th April

First day off and a welcome respite from the insistent intrusion of incessant video Skype calls. I recognise

that I am incredibly lucky to still be working and on full pay. I also recognise that the customers I value, and

nurture are themselves facing the worst time in their professional lives and nothing I can do is any help to

them; I feel like a failure in that regard. I am not useful as anything other than a source of tax and funding to

the NHS.

Zoom CrossFit (I’m managing twice as many CF classes as normal) followed by an exciting outing as I’m

off to give blood. It’s the first time in nearly 3 weeks that I’ve put any jewellery on, and I feel quite fancy. 

Unfortunately, due to the fact I was slightly wheezy this morning (I have asthma) my blood could not be

accepted as the WBS aren’t taking any chances that I may have CV. Annoyed that I had taken an

appointment that someone who could actually have donated could have had.

8th April

Realised I’m adapting to a slower pace of life with two indicators,

1. Enjoying a leisurely bath in the mornings instead of a rushed shower

2. Eating a slow-paced breakfast instead of wolfing down yogurt standing up

Man of household is now half crazed with boredom and glued to Netflix. Refused to gaze at the TV and did

a geography jigsaw with my daughter after a Zoom catch up and wine with my friends. I miss them.

9th April

A relaxed baking session with my daughter. No fretting as plenty of time to clear up and then time to make

tonight’s dinner. All done before getting dressed. Admittedly getting dressed does now not occur before 11.

10th April

Tried YouTube yoga this morning which I surprisingly enjoyed. Depressed by my fellow man, specifically by

people’s refusal to take social distancing seriously. One of the houses to the rear have a table full of guests

in party hats, dancing to George Michael, filming themselves doing Tik Tok dances. My neighbours and I

alert the police. I feel like a Stasi informer but my friends are risking themselves daily as doctors, nurses

and police officers so I hope they are reprimanded. Selfish idiots.

11th April

Lack of interaction with others is making my partner and I squabble. I retreat to the front patio to enjoy wine,

solitude and the chiminea. I’m immediately joined by 2 neighbours (from a safe distance) who are clearly

keen for fresh people to converse with. Everyone’s feeling the difficulties now. Cleaned out the cutlery and

pot drawers.

12th April

Child rises only to eat chocolate, shower then change into different PJs. It must be so boring for teenagers

but at least they are used to much of their social interaction being online.

13th April

Great excitement as I plan a trip to Sainsbury’s Local. Should I dress for the occasion? Only a 10 minute

wait to get in! Walk home via my friend’s, knock on the window, stand back and have a 15 minute

street conversation. This is the new normal. Usual evening walk with my partner. This mile and 3/4 loop

every day plus a CrossFit Zoom session four times a week is all that stands between me and complete

obesity now. My usual dietary habits have gone down the pan and if it has carbs now, I will eat it. Wine

intake is probably double normal. Tonight’s balanced dinner was Papa Johns pizza, Westons’s cider and

the savaging of a Ferrero Rocher egg.

Boredom drove me to cleanse the condiment cupboard completely. Found some pre-Raphaelite era

balsamic vinegar and possible Edwardian coconut oil.

14th April

Forced child to walk with me, there was a lot of complaint. Lots of bad temper at home today, stamping and

groaning.  Rang two friends to catch up which was a lovely spirit lifter. We’ve arranged a Zoom drink on

Saturday as our social focus. Then I enjoyed half an hour in the sun, took the time to cook a lovely dinner

which no one else wanted to share with me. Ate several tons of milk chocolate. Another change in dietary

habits; the slide into sugar dependency. I eschewed added sugar last summer, but my dark chocolate

choices have given way to the sickliness of milk. 

15th-18th April

Decorating!  Had ordered paint for the bathroom and a bedroom so having found the latter to be a much

smaller tin than expected, decided to tackle the small bedroom I use as an office and general dumping

ground.

Contents rationalised, walls prepared, ceiling painted and three bloody coats to cover the last, vile shade

were completed. I found a tin of unopened, white eggshell paint from 2006. After vigorous stirring, it was

fine. As ever now, completion of tasks becomes a community belongings event as roller trays needed to be

loaned from the neighbours.

I’m delighted with the result - new chair and curtains from eBay, sorted.

19th April

CrossFit, eat, fanny about online, drink wine, gaze at sunset, bed. This is my new normal. 

21st April

Back to work. The whole company has been forced online at once, resulting in huge IT demand. None of

my associated devices has functioned for a month, so not looking forward to contacting IT on my return.

Our IT is outsourced and mainly Iberian based. Every conversation starts with the issues they have faced

before the work continues. They are weeks ahead of us and very bored.

22nd April

IT issues sorted and contacting customers to check their needs/ situation. Most don’t respond.

23rd April

My daughter is becoming a proficient baker – Corona-19 skills gain.

I should probably stop eating cake but can’t.

The evening’s NHS clap turns into a social occasion and our little street gets to chat together for a

distanced gathering; lovely!

25th April

I turn my hand to barbering. With loaned clippers and a tutorial shouted from the lane, I manage a slow but

reasonable cut for my partner. This sparks a Facebook messenger photo thread as tales of home barbering

are shared. One less fortunate outcome is modelled by a sheared individual who is now tagged “nit cut

boy”. 

26th April

Lovely, warm evenings spent sat on our front patio. My daughter is lounging in a hammock lent by our

neighbours, I’m stoking the chiminea, the birds are loud. We are using an app to identify birdsong and

enjoying the tranquillity.

27th April

Top of fridge cleansed. It was a disgrace but now, like most surfaces in this land, is sparkling clean. The

last time my house was this clean was when I was on gardening leave between jobs in 2013.

30th April

Examined my finances. As I’m still at work (we both are) we are financially ok for now. The shift in spending

is interesting; loads on Amazon (curtains to liqueur and anything in between), Mindful Chef is getting a lot

more business from me in my bid to avoid the queueing and idiots at supermarkets, local businesses are

winning (dairies, package-free shops, butchers). Like this! It’s worth noting that everyone we know now

shares their supermarket wait times plus item availability within. Community is thriving. Such a massive

positive.