Corona Diaries

Makayla

“This lockdown provides a cloak to hide the cruelty – or pain – of so many. It makes me count my

blessings and stop myself in shame when I find myself complaining about the lack of freedom or the

queuing.”

Background Information

Female, aged 45-54, Civil Servant, South Wales, White, Married with 3 adult children Jennifer,

Thomas and Robert and 1 grandchild Etta.

April 2020

Friday 17 April 2020

As I lay in bed contemplating whether or not to venture out for a run/crawl/wobble before the predicted

downpour, Jennifer and Etta phoned. Ah well, an extra hour in bed to chat with my darling daughter and

delectable granddaughter – what better excuse to remain in comfort? We had a lovely over-hour-long

WhatsApp video call. I can’t believe that Etta will be six months by the end of this month. We all miss them

so much. She seems to be more alert and stronger each day. Thank goodness for WhatsApp video calls –

although her being so ‘near’ can also somehow make that 240 mile journey between us seem further.

Eventually, I managed to emerge from under the duvet and thrash it out – just 20 minutes, but that was

enough and I felt so much better for it. I headed right, down the Road and met just one dog walker, a

cyclist on the adjacent woodland path, and a handful of cars along the way. It’s the first time I’ve seen

bluebells in years – such a change from pounding the streets of London! I noticed that the house on whose

holly hedge my scissors strayed at Christmas still has berries on it. Hopefully we’ll have our own small

bush for the front of our house in time for next Christmas.

I WhatsApped birthday greetings to Sis at one minute past midnight – at last I got the date right! How on

EARTH did I manage to wish my own sister a happy birthday a day early? Yesterday, I had to style it out

and say that she had been given an official birthday, just like the queen. (Fortunately, she seemed to fall

for it!) Having been off work for three weeks, the days – and dates – are becoming a blur. For her birthday

this year, Sis set up a ‘Just Giving’ page for OCD action as the Coronavirus pandemic is likely to profoundly

affect some people in this way. She’s had a couple of anonymous donations which we’ve been trying to

work out. Hopefully, as they day progresses, the mystery will unfurl itself.

Ahhhh! The remarkable Captain Tom has now raised over £18m for the NHS! I put in a very nominal

donation from the family (again via Just Giving). To think that at ninety-nine years old, he is still thinking of

others – walking up and down his garden after not long having had a hip replacement! He is a true hero

and brings a tear to my eye every time I see him.

Friday 24 April 2020

Considering we are in lockdown, it’s surprising how many things have happened over the past week.

Tragically, Stacey’s father passed away after contracting Covid-19 and deteriorating very rapidly. So many

of my other friends back in London have also lost loved ones as a result of it. It seems that here in Wales

we are in a much safer position – there is comparatively so much more space for social distancing,

although some people seem to be oblivious to the need. I fear for Jennifer as she does her weekly shop –

although where she lives is not quite as bad as London, it’s far too close. Robert is still working from home

in Paris. Each time he leaves his apartment, he has to complete a form that states his reason for being

outside. On more than one occasion, he has had to produce this to the gendarme. He pops out to collect

groceries a few times a week – it’s his strategy to keep up his resilience, especially now that the French

government has removed daily exercise from it list of reasons to leave home. Hopefully he will be back in

the UK in June. I can’t wait to see him again – the last time was Christmas. Although he is likely to be

working in London or elsewhere, at least he will be back on home turf.

On Sunday evening, I ‘attended’ church for the second time via Youtube live streaming. It lasted less than

half an hour, but was good to be part of it. Pastor is doing a daily vlog to keep up people’s spirits as so

many people will be isolated and feeling lonely. Thomas and I ‘attended’ the prayer meeting last week. It

was brilliant as we were given people who are key workers in the congregation to pray for. Names were

allocated alphabetically according to our surnames. We were given a guy who works in a factory that

makes ventilators for the NHS. Thomas’ gym buddy who works at the Amazon warehouse was also

mentioned, so we prayed for him too.

On our family WhatsApp group chat, we have been sharing funny videos – Aunty Pat’s are (unsurprisingly)

the most inappropriate. We’ve also been doing the occasional quiz. Funny how, when I put the IQ quiz up

there, most people said they couldn’t access it!

Sis almost doubled her target for OCD Action – good show! We never did work out who the anonymous

donors were though.

Captain Tom has raised over £26,000,000 for the NHS! He has had donations from around the world. It

must be an unprecedented amount by a single person - anywhere! Now he has a single out with Michael

Ball. What a way to live life up to one’s 100th birthday!

I’ve planted loads of veg seeds. It’s slightly reminiscent of when I was doing ‘O’ levels and my violin

teacher gave me tomato plants. Rather weirdly, I know, they were my excuse to get out of work – a

distraction from life’s mundanity. Currently, I think my tomato, pepper, cucumber, broccoli, Chinese leaf

and cauliflower plants (aka stringy greenish-yellow things fighting to stand upright in the soil) are a

distraction from sorting through the last – and most difficult of boxes – since we moved a year ago. Most

of them are Robert’s and I can’t throw away any of his childhood treasures, but they take up so. Much.

Space! I posted Dad the remains of a packet of sweet pepper seeds. It seemed a bit stingy sending him

my left-overs, but he said he was pleased to have received them. It feels like I imagine it did in war-time:

sharing and making do.

We almost forgot to clap for the NHS yesterday. Fortunately, we were reminded by the sound of our

neighbours’ clapping. The frying pan and wooden spoon is loving its airing – a total change from pancakes

and omelettes. Hmm, I’m just glad that we’re socially distant enough so that no-one can see the years of

burnt whatever the coating is! One of the neighbours must either have a fancy dress shop or work in

theatre because most afternoons, he/she comes out in fancy dress. The little ones absolutely love it and

seem to look out for him/her. It’s so generous-spirited and, I’m sure, satisfies their inner actor.

Beloved’s been making the most of being of furlough. He started with an amazing job of a patio, but ran

out of slabs. The shop is too far away to venture to now and they don’t really comprise ‘essential

shopping’, so we have a fabulously muddy, dug-up back garden. Fortunately, the fine weather has meant

that most of the mud has stayed in the garden and not been brought in to the house. He’s moved on to the

front garden and painted the railings – they look absolutely fabulous now. He was about to start on the

porch, but discovered that the wood has totally rotten through. Now to find somewhere where he can

purchase the wood without breaking lockdown. He managed to order the paint and stone chippings online.

They guy who delivered the chippings said that he has nine people currently in his small three-bedroomed

house as they also have his sister-in-law and children staying. I gave him some of the jewellery I make for

the ladies – just to cheer them up. He seemed happy to stand and chat with Beloved for a while and had

such a positive attitude to the whole lockdown, saying that he felt lucky to have work when so many people

have been laid off. I mentioned that Beloved was planning on making some garden furniture from pallets

and he kindly said that he would drop some off for him if he found some spare ones. So kind.

This morning, I had a long messaging session with Ada and Abi. They are both dreading returning to work

next week. Apparently, staff are going in on a rota basis (as appears to be in most schools now) with the

only children being those with special needs, those who are deemed vulnerable and whose parents are key

workers. They had more staff than children last time! Abi has said that she feels very vulnerable and will

wear a mask and gloves, although I imagine that teaching whilst I wearing a mask will have its own

challenges! They’ve sent me the link to the school’s Google Classroom. I’ll peruse it later. The teachers

have put up messages for the children on there, and set them work. One has been reading stories – she’s

lovely – just the sort of thing I would imagine she would do. I would have loooooved to have read ‘Varjak

Paw’ to them – a chapter at a time. It makes me wish I was still there…

I can hear Beloved listening to jazz in the garden. It’s still warm, so am going to join him with a g & t.

(Managed to find enough excuses not to unpack those last few boxes in the spare room today too – would

be a result if it weren’t for the fact that they’ll be calling me tomorrow!)

30 April 2020

Etta is six months old today. Wow! I the situation improves in time for her birthday. We have hardly seen

her at all since she was born.

It was Stacey’s father’s funeral yesterday. Our little group, were all praying for her and her mother. They

had my Christian prayers, as well as Hindu and Islamic prayers. We all wished that we could have been

there to have given our support.

On Sunday, Robert announced that he has been granted permission to come home to work the last two

weeks from Wales. This is the best news we’ve had in a long time. Eurostar is operating just once a day

during the pandemic, so he had better make sure he catches it tomorrow as it will be a 500 mile round -trip

for Beloved and me and it will take us twice as long to travel from here to King’s Cross International as it

will him from Paris to KCI. I’m silently dreading a repeat of when he missed his flight from Sweden a few

years ago…The house will begin to feel fuller again and it will be fab for Thomas to have his brother around

once more. Perhaps they will be able to cycle down to the bay together for their daily exercise.

During this evening’s clap for the NHS, Beloved belted out a one-not tune on his trumpet. The

neighbourhood children loved it. It is Captain Tom’s 100th birthday today. He has had a fly-by; two trains

named after him and will be having a post box in the NHS colours erected near his home. He has now

raised over £30,000,000 for the NHS!

This week, Donald Trump graced the headlines once again – this time, by musing aloud – DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE - that the corona virus might be cured by an injection of disinfectant! It really is utterly incomprehensible how this man could have become the President of the United States of America! As is customary for him, once challenged, he became defensive and came up with all manner of ridiculous excuses. I am convinced that he has narcissistic personality disorder.

Boris and Carrie Symonds have welcomed a little baby boy. The PM has had an extraordinarily eventful few months: newly elected; Brexit; near-death with the corona virus; new baby. What will next be in store for him…?

I heard from work a few days ago – we are to stay put for now but to check in periodically for any changes.

I posted off a few gifts of jewellery to friends to cheer them up, as well as repaired Aunty Pat’s and Sis’s jewellery. I wish I could do more. This feels so much against the grain: staying at home whilst being paid. When I mentioned it to Beloved, he reminded me of the 12-14 hour days and long commutes over the years whilst were in London. It’s true, but I still feel very uneasy about it, especially when I know how hard so many people are working, and the fact that many are endangering their lives. When I tried putting myself forward to volunteer a few weeks ago, nothing came of it, so I’m doing my bit by staying at home, which goes totally against the grain.

Beloved has totally transformed the front garden. We are no longer the shameful neighbours with overgrown shrubs and tatty railings. I absolutely love it. He managed to locate posts and trellis to sort out

the porch area, and is now just waiting for delivery. I thought he would be frustrated at not being able to pop out and pick up supplies as he needs them, but no, he is taking everything in his stride. He has never had so much time to catch up and do things that he really wants to do. Today he made me an absolutely gorgeous reversible mask from African fabric. Had I known he would do this, I wouldn’t have put in the Amazon order a few days ago. It cost an arm and a leg because I’ve ordered ten, as well as two boxes of filters, for the family. They are unlikely to be here for a couple of weeks at least since they’re coming from China.

Thomas has been struggling since not being able to go to the gym. He ordered dumb bell sets from two different suppliers, both of which failed him. Eventually, he ordered resistance bands and now he’s back on form, inventing different ways to use them. I wonder how long it will be before he will be able to return to the gym…He’s going to need the gyms to open before he can start working as a personal trainer. I just hope it doesn’t scupper his plans too much.

Sophie called today. They have all been asked to create rainbow and photograph themselves with it for the school website. What a lovely idea. I suggested that she make it with fruit and veg in the style of Giuseppe Arcimboldo. She seemed to go with the suggestion. I look forward to seeing her picture.

We sent Dad a (very) belated 80th birthday present – a family of carved wooden ducks. The jokes haven’t stopped flowing since Mum announced they would be having crispy duck for dinner (yes, actually!) He keeps sending photos of the wooden ducks fleeing the kitchen, etc. The last photo was particularly gory – two of the ducks standing next to the raw soon-to-be crispy duck! Absolutely hilarious! It’s good that we can keep in touch like this, even if we can’t see each other, although I am contemplating popping over in a week or so, with some essentials and shall perhaps sit at the other end of their garden for half an hour or so. This time, however, I will not let Mum persuade me to stay for lunch like she did on Mother’s Day, the day before lockdown. That time, Beloved and I were on tenterhooks for two weeks, absolutely dreading that we had inadvertently passed Covid-19 on to them, fretting that we may have been carrying it without our knowledge. And that was despite sitting two metres apart in the garden.

Food shopping today – still no flour, neither in Aldi nor in Lidl. I simply had to bake something for Robert’s home coming tomorrow, so I had a ‘lightbulb moment’ and made tiffin instead – no flour needed! By this time tomorrow, we’ll be on our way over the Severn Bridge – oops, Prince of Wales Bridge – with child number two in the car. Hurray!

May 2020

Sunday 3 May 2020

Probably for the first time ever, Friday’s 400-mile round-trip to London didn’t feel like a chore. Because we

hadn’t been further than the local supermarket for the previous few weeks, if felt like a real outing; well, it

was because we were collecting Robert from the station. Beloved and I were ever so slightly anxious in

case we were stopped by the police en-route and told that our journey wouldn’t be deemed ‘essential

travel’; however, we were armed with an emailed version of Robert’s Eurostar ticket for such an eventuality

– and it could have been argued that surely it is far safer to bring him home by private car as opposed to

his travelling by train whereby he could be exposed to the virus. In the event, we were not stopped. The

service stations along the M4 were oddly empty – I’ve never seen them like this before, and the journey

through London was the quickest we have ever experienced, even though we arrived during the ‘rush hour’.

There was an eeriness and sense of foreboding – it’s just not normal for the London streets to be so empty.

When Robert came through the doors of the Eurostar terminus, he was one of very few passengers. It felt

like a historic moment. Not dissimilar to the return of the prodigal son, although he’d just been working in

Paris.

Yesterday, Beloved was up early for B&Q. He’s glad that the DIY shops have re-opened. He spent an

hour queuing to get in, but that is nothing compared with the eight-mile-long queues for food in South

Africa. The food queues in some parts of India are not far behind – three miles long. We’re very blessed in

this country; people’s panic buying seems to have subsided now, but even at its peak, it’s never been that

bad. If I time it well, I sometimes don’t have to queue at all to enter the supermarket. Thomas went to

Asda yesterday and even managed to grab two bags of flour for me. Now I can make Welshcakes and

scones again, and we can have Yorkshire puds with our roast beef for lunch. Hurray!

-----

I’ve just read that Newham is the worst-hit borough in the country. In one street alone, there have been 22

virus-related deaths. That makes me really fear for my dear friends, former colleagues and for the lovely

children I taught. I imagine that, if I still worked there, I would be petrified at the prospect of having to go

into work.

I’ve noticed that when celebrity deaths are reported, they are often accompanied by a caveat: Covid-19

related, or non-Covid-19 related. How times change – and how quickly…

Saturday 9 May 2020

The other day, Jennifer sent us a video via WhatsApp of Etta rolling right over. She’s such a clever girl –

the cleverest baby in the world! We were musing about the progress of social media – despite the

negatives, at this time they are far outweighed by the positives. We actually had a zoom call with Dad and

Mum – not bad at all for Dad as an 81-year-old, despite his initial protestations. To be honest, he’s not all

that far behind me. We even had a video call with a surveyor/engineer a couple of days ago. It was as a

result of the trees we extracted from ground with all the extra time on our hands, then as we were sitting in

the garden, taking in the birdsong, Beloved noticed an enormous crack in the mortar along the wall. Fearful

that the wall could collapse on our neighbours, we called the insurer who organised the video call.

Fortunately, the guy was able to ascertain, without visiting us, that the crack was quite benign – something

that we would be able to repair ourselves without having to make a claim and pay the excess. The

engineer expressed relief that he hadn’t had to visit us at home and was able to maintain social distancing.

We heard that our next-door neighbour has recently had Covid-19. We saw his wife and the two little ones

setting out for a walk for the first time in over two weeks. If we had known he was ill, we could have offered

to do some shopping, but she said that they had been inundated with offers. It must have been tough

keeping the whole family – including the two toddlers – in for two weeks. I think I would have been climbing

the walls had our three been that age. It took me back to when we lived on the fifteenth floor of the tower

block in Seven Sisters. I just can’t imagine having to keep Jennifer and the two (very active) boys

entertained without stepping outside for two weeks. It makes me think of all the lovely children I’ve taught

in London – most of them living in flats – some squeezing in with their aunts or uncles and grandparents. I

wonder how on earth they can be coping now. I worry about those whom I knew were on the ‘at risk’

registers: locked up inside for weeks on end and no school to go to escape or to express themselves. This

lockdown provides a cloak to hide the cruelty – or pain – of so many. It makes me count my blessings and

stop myself in shame when I find myself complaining about the lack of freedom or the queuing. I have no

right to complain. A few months ago, I was working for an agency and would have been in dire straits

financially had I not been given this job. God had it under control. It was part of his plan all along.

When I visited B & M in the afternoon a couple of days ago, I found that it was one of the few times I’ve felt

uneasy about social distancing (or the lack thereof) since the start of lockdown. Some of the other

customers were less than a metre away despite the current two metre guidelines. Whilst queuing, the guy

behind was almost closer than my own husband, so I politely reminded him about the two metre rule and

he stepped back. I had planned to continue to Aldi, but by the end of that shopping experience I couldn’t

face it and went straight back home. Robert went to Lidl with me the following morning (I didn’t want to risk

an afternoon shop again) since Aldi was off-limits to more than one adult per household.

Yesterday was the 75th anniversary of VE Day. Fortunately, I phoned Mum in the morning, otherwise I

wouldn’t have known about the two minutes’ silence. Beloved and I stood on the doorstep for the silence,

as did several of the neighbours. We had a ‘socially distant’ street party in the afternoon. It was good to sit

around and chat with the neighbours, although I’m not convinced that the children were fully following the

guidelines – it’s an almost impossible task for them, going against their nature.

Scones I made for the VE Day celebration

I had a long chat with Sis. It appears that her buyer is still eager to progress the completion on her flat

asap. If it does go ahead as planned, she will not have a new property to move into for a while as she

won’t be able to go and view. There is the possibility that she will move in with us in the interim. We’re all

looking forward to that possibility; I haven’t lived with her since I was at school. I’m going to have to really

hold my tongue and not revert to being the wind-up merchant.

We went on a bike ride this morning, as Robert hasn’t really seen much of the area, having made a fleeting

visit over Christmas, and he’s been working full throttle since he’s been home. This was to be the ‘Great

Escape’ – a cycle down along the River path all the way to the bay. But no. My bike acquired a puncture

just about four miles in and it was a long and arduous walk home. They refused to go on without me. At

least we had a good stint of exercise – just not the way we had planned. Most people along the path were

taking the social distancing seriously and it was good to see couples and young families, as well as

individuals, out taking in the warm fresh air.

I finished knitting Etta’s baby blanket this week and feel quite proud of the results. Now I need to sew on

the fleece backing and I can post it off to her whilst it might just about be large enough for her. I wish I’d

started knitting it when I first bought the wool before Christmas, but at least I’ve had plenty of time to get

stuck in.

When I spoke to Dad and Mum this morning, I sensed that they are struggling with the confinement at the

moment. I’m still wondering whether to take the plunge and risk going to sit in their garden for an hour or

so to cheer them up, but I really struggle with the possibility of carrying the virus to them. Added to that, I’m

now more anxious about Beloved and the children contracting it as the latest stats are showing that 90%

more BAME people who contract it are likely to die from it than white people. I can sense Beloved’s

tension. When the neighbour who’s recently recovered from Covid handed a cider to Thomas yesterday,

Thomas bought it into the house and Beloved he sprayed the can with disinfectant. It’s hard to have to

always be on guard, be wary – it just goes against human nature and can be quite exhausting.

I completed my first John Le Carre novel this morning – the ending was not as I expected at all, which was

quite refreshing. It was good to sit in the garden and discuss it with Robert after our ‘bike ride’.

Wednesday 13 May 2020

On Sunday, I attended our church’s live streaming session again. I also scoped out a couple of other

churches – a good suggestion from Sis. I wish I wouldn’t keep forgetting about the Tuesday evening prayer

meeting. Because I don’t have to physically get up and go to it, and because I think that I can just stop

what I’m doing for half an hour to tune in, I realise that I’m less switched on. Note to self: set a reminder

for next Tuesday!

A photo of the pindas on banana leaves at Stacey’s father’s was posted on our WhatsApp group. Due to his

Asian heritage, he would have been 60% more likely to die of Covid than white people. I was reading

something about the lack of vitamin D in some black and Asian people’s diets, and the possible link between

vitamin D deficiency and Covid. I will try to get hold of some supplements in my next supermarket shop.

Yesterday, Beloved and I went for a bike ride just before dusk. (He’s fixed my puncture.) It was great along

the River and the canal. I haven’t taken this track before, and it’s virtually on the doorstep. We passed a

couple of gates into the woodland which will be a lovely setting to go looking for bears with Etta!

This morning, the training manager at work phoned. When I saw his number pop up, I was convinced that it

was to set a return date, but no, it was just a courtesy call. He’s shielding due to an underlying health

condition. We found that we share the same feeling of guilt at remaining at home whilst colleagues are

having to go to work: he because of shielding, and me because I had not yet completed my training period.

It was good to talk with him.

This afternoon, I potted up around twenty spare tomato plants with a view to leaving them outside the

house tomorrow. Maybe some of the neighbours and children will have a bit of fun with them. I’ve been

wracking my brains for a good tomato joke to put on a sign telling people to help themselves. I also

Googled ‘tomato jokes’, but they’re all either too corny or too inappropriate. I’ll have to dream up a joke as I

sleep.

The masks have finally arrived. I’ve made up little passages of masks and spare filters ready to post off to

family tomorrow. I would have liked to have sent some to more family members, but it was getting too

pricey. When Beloved sews his African fabric masks, we’ll be able to post off more.

Sophie sent me a pretty good riddle which I posted on the family WhatsApp group. Mum was the first to

get the answer right, so I’ve wrapped up her prize – some tacky – but cool – LED colour change candles. I

know she’ll love them. This was the riddle:

In a new hotel containing 100 rooms, Tom was hired to paint the numbers from 1-100 on

the doors. How many times will Tom have to paint the number 8?

Saturday 30 May 2020

I placed the tomato plants, without the joke, outside the house the next morning. They were all gone before

the 8:00pm carers’ clap. I’m so chuffed.

Yey! I remembered the Youtube livestreamed church prayer meeting on Tuesday – but only just. It was

good to pray for folk at the church who are having a tough time going about their ‘essential’ work: doctors,

nurses, factory workers, Amazon warehouse workers. At least I feel that I am doing something positive and

productive.

When Beloved and I went on our bike ride to the beach the other day, we followed the river cycle path. On

the way back, there were police officers around the footbridge which crosses over the main road. We

noticed that the road below had been blocked off by police vehicles in both directions. Then we saw, on

the bridge, a young woman standing there, preparing to jump. We carried on cycling as we didn’t want to

aggravate the situation, and when we arrived home, I put out a message on the Neighbourhood Prayer

Network Facebook page for people to pray for her. Dozens responded. I checked the local news on -line a

couple of days ago, just to see whether there had been any incident. Praise the Lord, no. It looks as if she

came down. The poor girl. I don’t know what drove her to it – whether she was struggling to cope

psychologically with the lockdown or whether she was going through horrendous experiences behind

closed doors. Praise God that she is safe for now and I hope that she will receive all the help she needs to

keep her safe – both physically and emotionally.

Beloved hasn’t played his trumpet for the NHS clap for the past couple of times. It’s a shame as the

neighbours told me that their children look forward to it and get really excited. He’s been preoccupied with

all the DIY he’s doing. Now he’s painted the spare room and shampooed the carpet there, as well as

serviced all the bikes. Apparently the weekly ‘clap for carers’ is due to stop next week. Such a shame

because they are still risking their lives to fight this virus. I love walking around the area and seeing all the

rainbows and messages from children in the windows. This massive board at the entrance to the village

has been up for weeks. I hope it remains up.

The boys have been treating us to Chinese takeaways on Friday evenings. Deliveroo is so handy, but it’s

not helping my ever-expanding waistline. Proper meals hardly exist any more. I bulk cook as always,

leave it in the fridge and eat. Eat again. Then eat some more. It’s going to be tough getting back on track.

My fitness level has definitely deteriorated – as noticed on my (very) occasional runs and bike rides. Not

that it was every anything to boast about in the first place.

The other morning, a large box was dropped off by a courier. At first, I thought that it must have been a

mistake because none of us was expecting a delivery. But no, it was definitely for us. When I opened it, it

turned out to be a fabulous hamper full of British- made goodies. We’ve never had anything this grand

before. It was a lovely gift from Sis – a treat for us all. I was quite overwhelmed by her generosity. I told

her that we would wait till Friday night to open it as that’s ‘treat night’, BUT every time I walked past it, I

noticed that something else had been opened or eaten. Such is the willpower of my family. I should have

hidden it (but then I couldn’t have hidden it from myself!) daren’t tell her though, as we were going to have a

mini opening-of the-hamper ceremony. Today I’m wearing my linen tent dress, wishing so much that I had

more of them – and not just because it’s a scorcher!

Although it’s not my birthday for another couple of weeks, Sophie sent me a fabulous early birthday present

– an electric wax melter. It’s so very pretty and welcoming, and the delicious fragrance pervades the

house. I’m so blessed to have kind and thoughtful family and friends.

This week, I sewed for the first time in almost twenty years – I haven’t even touched the sewing machine

since I last made Jennifer’s ballet and tap costumes for her show. It’s not something that comes naturally

to me and I kept avoiding it because of the fight with the sewing machine that would inevitably ensue. But I

had no excuse because I had eventually tackled the garage head-on. (It’s now a work of art – I can even

walk from one side to the other without having to negotiate an obstacle course!) What’s more, I can lay my

hand on anything without having to delve. Want fabric glue? Box with the pink lid. Oar? Top shelf.

Griddle? Middle shelf facing the door. So, with no more excuses, I took out the sewing machine, gathered

all the African fabric remnants I could find, and set to it…mask making. It took five attempts before I was

satisfied with the design, and over the course of two days, I made fifteen masks – including three for

children (our nieces). They’re reversible and have a sleeve for a filter, and I am so pleased with them.

Close up, there are loads of flaws, but who cares – they actually look quite jazzy. Yesterday I made up six

packages to send to friends and family, so hopefully they’ll bring a little joy to their day when they open

them. They won’t fully protect against Covid, but they are bound to be better than nothing, especially for

those who have to take the bus or tube. This morning, my day was brightened because I had a lovely photo

and phone call from our nieces wearing their masks and they have already been asking their parents if they

can wear them to the park. I currently don’t want to see the sewing machine for at least another twenty

years, although I might just take it out again because the windows are screaming to be cleaned.

Sewing…or cleaning windows? I think that sewing will win, hands down!

Sewing masks

Another book finished this morning, hence the (very) late start to the day. I absolutely looooved it: ‘The

White Tiger’ by Aravind Adiga. I picked it up for £1 from the Post Office shop when I posted off the

previous set of masks. They have a couple of shelves of used books next to the till – all £1. I should return

it to them really, so that they can sell it on again, but I so much want to persuade somebody else to read it

so that we can discuss it that I’ve put it on our bookshelves – it’s a keeper. The book is all about the

inequalities of the caste system in India. It’s satirical, laced with dark comedy, and so incredibly gripping. It

had me hooked right to the end.

July 2020

Tuesday 14 July 2020

I have now been back at work for over three weeks. It was utterly surreal having eleven weeks off, and

now I’m working reduced hours, simply because work has to follow the Welsh Government guidelines and

ensure social distancing. At first, I felt guilty about it since working there and adhering to set hours was in

itself strange after being in teaching for so long; it was strange – and still is – not having to take work home.

I find that I am still not totally sure what to do with myself in the evenings; sitting down without books to

mark or lessons to plan is quite surreal.

Sis has now sold her flat. It was quite an ordeal due to the fact that Mum is shielding and she hasn’t been

able to find a new home because of the no-viewing regulations during lockdown. As she had decided to

temporarily move in with Dad and Mum, she too had to self-isolate for two weeks before her move; she

even left all her belongings in her flat the day before the removal company came to transport them to the

storage unit so that she wouldn’t have to come into contact with them. Fortunately, after much logistical

planning, she is now safely settled in with Dad and Mum; however, she remains unable to view properties

until Mum stops shielding - whenever that will be.

On Saturday, we had a big family picnic on the Brecon Beacons. We met in the car park of the Distillery

because Mum wanted to treat Dad and Beloved to a bottle of Welsh whisky each to thank them for being so

kind and supportive during her illness. From there, we followed Dad to what we thought would be a scenic

picnic spot; however, this was not to be. I thought the lay-by was a little ‘cramped’ for two cars, and my

hunch wasn’t wrong. After unpacking the spread, unfurling the picnic mats and the setting up the chairs on

the adjacent grassy area, we started to tuck in, only to discover that the rather spacially-lacking parking

spot was in fact a passing place for cars. Talk about cringeworthy! Dad, Mum and Sis were reluctant to

move, no matter how much I pleaded with them, until eventually drivers who were having to reverse about

200 metres up the road made some rather disgruntled remarks through their windows, which eventually

resulted in everyone agreeing to move on. Our final resting place for the day was a gorgeous, secluded

spot next to a reservoir. There we remained until we’d finished off the last of the scones with jam and

clotted cream, with some of us having a gentle snooze on the grass.

I’ve just heard from Sophie: her mother, who still lives in Denmark, has just been rushed to hospital.

Sophie’s distraught as she fears that it might be a problem with her mother’s brain tumour. Because

Sophie is shielding, I doubt whether she will be able to go and visit, and I’m not even sure that Denmark is

accepting visitors from the UK due to our high Covid rate. I’ve told her that I will pray for her and have said

that she should call me at any time. I’m glad that she has such a close and caring family around her

because now we live so far away.

Today, Violet asked me to make her ten masks – some for her sister’s family as well as her own. Boris is

to make it compulsory to wear masks in shops in England from the 24th of this month (far too late, in my

opinion). She said that she wants to pay me for making them, but as I am neither a natural nor talented

seamstress, just a determined one, I will refuse to accept anything. Beloved sews far better than I do – his

masks are triple-ply and extremely well-made. When I told him about Violet’s request, he offered to make

them for her; I may well take him up on that. When I worked with Violet – over four years ago now, she

used to bake the most delicious cakes which she would slip into the staffroom. Her speciality was

Caribbean fruit cake – so moist and spicily delicious. She would spend some of her weekends cooking at a

homeless shelter and was always making time to help others, but always behind the scenes. One of the

loveliest, kindest souls I know. It’s good to be able to do something for her for a change.

Beloved has his shoes on ready for our evening walk. He just needs to wait while I attend the Youtube

prayer meeting at church. We pray for key workers, that God will strengthen and support them whilst they

continue working during Covid. It’s good to be able to do something proactive because The Lord always

hears and answers prayer.

Tuesday, 21 July 2020

When I arrived home from work on Friday, Beloved announced that he had arranged with Jennifer that we

would be travelling to see them the next day. The boys had already booked and pre-paid for their first post-

lockdown haircuts, so they decided to stay at home - they were quite desperate for a proper chop. I set the

alarm for 3:30am the following morning, but we couldn’t quite manage to peel ourselves off the mattress

until 4:00am. To think that only a year ago, 3:30 was Beloved’s regular getting-up time, ready for his daily

commute along the North Circular. How life has changed since then!

It was a good journey and we were with Jennifer and family by late morning, having made a couple of pit-

stops en route. To think we hadn’t seen them since Christmas! Etta was just 2 months old when we last

saw her. We’re blessed that Jennifer keeps us posted with all her WhatsApp video calls. Jennifer is such

an amazing Mama and Etta clearly adores her – she’s so very happy. Jennifer prepared the most delicious

lunch – a vegan feast, although she insists that she’s not vegan, just reducing meat.

Jennifer’s plant-based feast

Towards the end of the day, we took a stroll down to the River Thames. Etta fought sleep for the first part

of the walk, but finally succumbed to the rhythm of her pushchair’s wheels on the pavement. When we

arrived at the river, she instinctively opened her eyes, eager not to miss a thing. The sight of the water and

the boats was all new for her and she was mesmerised.

At the end of the lovely day, it was hard to say our goodbyes. If I could have, I would have gobbled up Etta

– or at least squeezed her very tight, but that will have to wait until we are out of the Covid woods.

On our way to Beloved’s brother and family in West London, we stopped off for literally 10 minutes on

Sophie’s doorstep to drop off a couple of treats. She’s been housebound since October due to her two

operations and I know how hard it must be for her since she loves to socialise. I didn’t tell her that we

would be stopping so messaged her 20 minutes beforehand to tell her to expect a delivery (it would be

almost 10:00pm). It was lovely to surprise her like that. We hadn’t seen each other for a year. I know that

she is a friend I will always be able to catch up with as if no time has passed.

When we eventually arrived at Beloved’s brothers, the children had stayed up to see us. They haven’t

been back to school so I think that our visit was probably the highlight of the week. Since they haven’t seen

us since last year, at first they were a little shy, but that soon changed!

The next day, we picked up a few items from a Turkish shop – provisions that we either can’t get hold of in

South Wales, or that has a greatly inflated price. The best buy was a fabulous box of ripe and juicy vine

tomatoes. The tomato seeds which we sowed at the start of lockdown have produced a few healthy tomato

plants; we even have a few clusters of quite quirkily-shaped tomatoes, but they seem intent on remaining

green. I wonder if they will ever ripen…

Our quirky green tomatoes

When I spoke to Mum earlier today, she told me that they’d been on the phone to the husband of her lovely

friend who passed away during lockdown. He is struggling with coming to terms with the fact that he was

only allowed to be with her for the last half-hour of her life due to Covid. She’d been in hospital for four

weeks, and he saw her after she had drastically deteriorated. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must

have been like for him. Mum said that she had tried to offer him some comforting words, but that he was

struggling greatly. Apparently, he has received 90 bereavement cards: that’s testimony to how special a

lady his wife was; I hope that that can give him some comfort. I’m glad he’s just an hour away from his

daughter and her family and hope that spending time with his little granddaughter will help the healing

process, but I know that it is likely to take a long time; he is so lost. His wife was admitted with a heart

problem, yet Covid prevented her from receiving any visits from her family. They had been married for over

50 years and had never spent any time apart from each other … until the very end.

Covid is insidious: it separates.

Thursday 23 July 2020

Yesterday, Beloved told me that Jennifer and Etta will be coming up the weekend after next. I am sooo

excited! It can’t be easy for Jennifer being stuck in all day apart from when she takes Etta for a walk. The

thing is that Beloved and Robert have been sworn to secrecy, so now I am not to let on that I know they’re

coming! The weekend they arrive will be Thomas’ birthday on Saturday, so what could be a better birthday

present? The idea is that Dad and Mum will have a lovely surprise too. Apparently, the only reason that I

wasn’t to be told was because I would have been likely to have let the cat out of the bag. Hmmm, that’s

flattering!

Beloved has made an absolutely amazing job of Violet’s masks. They are so beautifully and expertly

finished. The only thing is that we ran out of elastic for the ear loops, so he went to a few shops in an

attempt to buy some more, but everywhere he went had run out – it seems that everyone is making masks

right now. Luckily, the elastic I ordered from eBay arrived today, so as soon as I thread it through the ear

loops and add the adjuster, we can post them off. Wearing masks in shops is compulsory in England from

tomorrow, but I have WhatsApped Violet to explain the delay. Yesterday was a veritable assembly line

here, with me cutting and Beloved sewing. Jennifer explained to him how to use Instagram to create links

to his Website, so I really hope that it will be a little business that will take off. He’s so incredibly creative,

yet modest. He deserves to do well.

In two ours from now, Robert will be sitting on the train to Bristol. His uni mate, who’s getting married on

Saturday’s brother is arranging a meal out for the boys (a low-key stag do) for Friday. Initially, the friends

weren’t invited to the wedding due to the Covid restrictions of 30 guests, so that more of the bride and

groom’s family could attend, but now the boys have been told that they will be able to go even though, so

I’m not sure how that will work out. Robert’s friend is Pakistani-British, so it must have been incredibly

difficult (almost impossible) to reduce the guest list as Asian weddings usually have hundreds of guests.

The gathering will be small with a church blessing which will be followed by a big celebration next year.

After the wedding, the friends will be staying with one of the boys in Swindon, and because they are both

working remotely, Robert will be staying on with him for a week to work. I’m going to really miss him, but I

know that it will be lovely for him to spend time with his friends again.

Thomas just popped his head around the door to talk about the gyms in England re-opening after lockdown

from Saturday. Hopefully, it’s a sign that Wales will soon follow suit. He is absolutely desperate to get

back into the routine of going. It’s been tough for him, taking a personal trainer course only to have the

gyms close half of the way through the course.

Thursday 13 August 2020

What a packed couple of weeks! Robert attended his friend’s wedding in Bristol (I don’t know how he and

the other boys managed that with the current restrictions!) Because of Covid, only 30 guests were

permitted to attend – not at all easy for an Asian-mixed Caribbean and Caucasian wedding! After church,

the barbeque reception was held in the groom’s parents’ garden - it was a low-key affair with only the very

closest relatives and friends in attendance; everyone present had a fabulous time. They will be holding a

church blessing and big celebratory party for everyone next summer. At least now the newly-weds will be

able to start their married life together.

After the festivities were over, Robert went to Swindon to stay with his pal for a week. They were both

working remotely so, although I’m not too sure how much work was actually completed!

Beloved went up to see Jennifer and family for a couple of days whilst Robert was in Swindon. He did a

few DIY jobs to help them out. On the Friday, he brought Jennifer and Etta back to us for a little break – it

was a top secret mission, and I had to keep my mouth firmly zipped because it was to be a special surprise

for Thomas, whose birthday was on the Saturday. I can’t be certain as to whether or not he was suspicious

because of all the baby paraphernalia that gradually appeared over the preceding few days: a travel

cot/play pen; baby sheets and blankets; nappies…you name it. The big arrival was fantastic. Robert

arrived by train on the Saturday morning – he was a little miffed as Beloved refused to pick him up from

Swindon en route from Kent because he had attended the wedding and been staying at his friend’s, so

thought it unwise for him to be in such an enclosed space with Etta who is just 9 months old, just in case he

had contracted Covid but was asymptomatic.

The hardest part of Jennifer and Etta’s visit is that I can’t pick up and cuddle my granddaughter. Because I

am going to work and mixing with others for prolonged periods of time, even though the social distancing

measures at work are spot on, we just can’t take any risks. I also keep some distance between Etta and

me at all times. It’s very very hard, but the alternative would be that they would not have been able to

come. Robert also kept a distance for the first week they were here, due to his escapades, but now he has

lots of cuddles and has been brilliant at helping out. Since he is not at work, Beloved also holds Etta, but,

like me, is maintaining a distance. We know that our plan isn’t water-tight, but it’s the best we can do in

the circumstances. Who would have thought that, despite being in the same house as each other, we

wouldn’t be able to have cuddles with our little Etta? Covid is a cruel entity.

Gilbert’s birthday was fab although, unsurprisingly, the day turned out to be more about Etta than him. It

was her first visit to the beach, so the first time she has touched sand and the first time she has dipped her

toes into the sea: a day of many firsts. The surf reminded me of the manes of wild horses – its unleashed

energy cleansing us from all the months of Covid captivity. Jennifer has been stuck indoors for months on

end and this helped her to feel free once more. The campsite is where Beloved and I stayed 3 years ago.

It was a significant holiday where we made the decision to move to South Wales. And here we are.

Having Jennifer and Etta to stay is doing us all the world of good, and Thomas and I have found a new way

to have ‘cuddles’ but without the cuddles – just by our verbal and non-verbal interactions, although it is

difficult when Etta reaches out and we can’t pick her up. I just hope she doesn’t feel unwanted. It breaks

my heart to even contemplate that she could feel that. I turn it into a game and make the same gestures

back to her, then she laughs, so I hope all is good.

We’ve been to visit Dad, Mum and Sis a few more times – I sometimes still can’t believe that they are only

an hour away. I’ve noticed the lump the size of a basketball in my throat a few times when I’ve seen how

they pick up and cuddle Etta. Especially, I’m ashamed to admit, Sis. She’s great aunt and I’m Mamgu, yet

she can pick her up but I can’t. I know that they’ve been shielding, so I really do understand, but I wish the

three of them would stop saying, “It must be so hard for you. Don’t worry, this will pass and you’ll soon

have loads of cuddles,” whilst holding her and passing her between each other. I am actually very happy

that Dad and Mum are able to spend time with their granddaughter and great granddaughter. Tim es have

been very hard over the last couple of years, with Mum’s illness, so this is better than any prescription. It’s

just what Jennifer needs too as she has seen little of them since she’s been married, what with all the hours

she was working both at her job and at the church.

Aunty Pat has broken her arm again – it’s that horrible disease that she is living with, and I dread that it is

worsening. I feel so bad at not having been in touch with her for a while. It’s hard that we are now so far

away so I can’t rush to see her. When I spoke to her the other evening, her voice sounded shaky, so

Beloved and I have decided that we will go up to see her when I have a couple of days off at the end of the

month. If Jennifer’s husband isn’t able to come and pick them up before then, we will take them back home

the same time.

Jennifer and I have been running 3 times so far this week. She’s really inspiring me to get back into it. I’m

still working on shedding my extra layer of lockdown blubber, so must make sure that I keep it up. I’ve

restricted my meals to 2 a day and am back to my healthy eating habits. Thomas is now back on top form

too – on Monday, the gyms re-opened in Wales. He booked a slot for the very first session on the very first

day they opened up. He’s even been cooking his high protein meals again – oh, and making smoothies

with raw eggs. Delicious! Ha! Ha!

Sunday 20 August 2020

As I start writing this, it’s precisely 9:14pm. Jennifer, Robert and Thomas have gone to Nando’s together

for ‘sibling time’. It’s probably the first time they’ve done this in over a decade, so very special. It’s the first

time that Jennifer has left Etta with anyone apart from her dad since she was born. Beloved and I took her

out for a little walk around the block, then Beloved bathed, fed and burped her and put her to bed. I was on

hand all the time, but just took care not to get too close. I can’t wait for this pandemic to end so that I can

be a proper mamgu. I’ve lost count of the number of photos and videos I’ve sent to Jennifer. She must be

feeling reassured as they’re staying out longer than she had said they would. Those 2 brothers of hers can

be very persuasive. I can’t help but wonder what Jennifer had to eat at Nando’s, her favourite restaurant,

now that she is sticking to a plant-based diet…

Tomorrow, I start back at work full time. It’s going to be a huge shock to the system. Beloved is still on

furlough, which is great as Jennifer and Etta are going to stay with us until Bank Holiday weekend so that

we can drop them back and then continue to Aunt Pat’s. I wonder when Beloved’s furlough will end. I just

hope that there will still be work for him when the time comes, especially when so many people are to be

made redundant when their furlough has ended. He’s been working on his website and is going to be

sewing more masks. On that note, it was quite funny when I dropped the children off in town earlier -

Jennifer was checking that she had everything:

phone: check key: check

bank card: check

mask: check

Mask? A year ago – no, 6 months ago, if any of us had been told that we would soon have to go out with a

mask, we wouldn’t have believed it. Now our masks have become a part of every day life – a fashion

accessory even.

It has been announced that we are officially in recession – apparently the worst recession that this country

has every experienced. I suppose it’s a case of watching this space. On more than one occasion, I have

wondered what would have happened if I’d remained with the teaching agency as they asked me to,

instead of taking the Civil Service job. The guy at the agency reassured me that I would be bound to have

plenty of work and that I was usually asked back to schools – lots of very flattering and persuasive

comments not to leave. I almost succumbed, but I really wanted to have permanent work – how glad I am

now that I stuck to my guns. The thing is that I do really miss teaching, but there are so few permanent

positions here compared with in London. If we’d postponed moving till this year, we would probably not

have been able to move. God knows everything!

Beloved and I attended church online this morning. Some people are back actually attending now, but I’m

not sure how that works out. I’m happy to continue attending from home for now.

Jennifer’s just called – can I pick them up…time to go.

Wednesday 2 September 2020

Today, Beloved’s furlough came to an end and he’s gone back to work for the first time in almost half a

year. Yesterday, he was dashing around making last minute preparations, including picking up some new

white shirts to replace the ones I’d accidentally turned pink (ie most of them) in the wash - a stray paper

napkin being the culprit. He has to travel to Cardiff today so will be exhausted, especially after the long

journey at the weekend.

My work is incredibly busy but at least now I’m through training (which had to be extended due to the

lockdown). Whilst I’ve been at work, Beloved has completed the garden – it’s absolutely gorgeous now and

the paving means that it will no longer become water-logged in the wet Welsh winter. The raised border

just needs to be planted with some climbers, flowers and shrubs, then in the spring we can thread in a few

vegetables.

When Etta was here, she had a fabulous time splashing in her little paddling pool, but now it’s been

carefully put away till next summer.

The weekend before last, Dad, Mum and Sis came for a barbeque since the shielding restrictions have now

been lifted. It was the first time they’d visited us since well before Christmas. It was lovely to spoil them

and for them to come over to see Jennifer and Etta for the last time before they returned home. Sis has

been doing a great job taking care of Dad and Mum and it’s really taken the pressure off Dad. I have

managed to persuade them to let Sis drive next time or, failing that, we will pick them up and drop them off.

It really is too much for Dad to drive a 90-mile round trip at his age (81). I could sense that he was starting

to become anxious about the return journey for an hour or so before they left.

The trip to take Jennifer and Etta back home was uneventful and so different from the time when we went

to collect Robert from the Eurostar terminal. Now the service stations are up and running again, including

the loos (last time, we had to use the loo in the petrol station). Etta slept for most of the journey and barely

made a sound when she was awake. Jennifer’s hubby was clearly over the moon to have them home.

Hopefully, next time he will be able to come up too, even if just for a couple of days.

We had a lovely time with Aunt Pat She had been shielding so was really happy to have the company for a

couple of days. Considering that she has been shielding with a similar illness to Mum, she is far more laid-

back about the whole social distancing situation, but then she doesn’t have Dad or Sis watching her like a

hawk – and even is she did, it wouldn’t last long. She was great company as always.

Robert and his friend had a great time in Istanbul. He sent us enough photos, videos and voice messages

to make us envious. Turkey has to be added to my bucket list. I did tell him and his friend to be mindful

and aware of their surroundings, as with their dark skin and lockdown beards, they could be mistaken for

young men crossing over to Syria. I’m relieved that they’re now back on British soil, even if we won’t see

each other for a couple of weeks as he’s going to stay and work from his friend’s house in Swindon. I

wonder whether people will ever fully return to the office setting, or whether they will be able to continue

working from home as currently – perhaps a combination of the two would be the best option. A physical

presence in the office provides so many learning and networking opportunities, but there is surely a certain

feeling of luxury to be able to step out of the shower and be in work 5 minutes later if people can continue

to work from home at least some of the time. I’m sure that people who are carers have found the

experience of home-working absolutely priceless.

Thursday 3 September 2020

Today is my day off so I’ve cleaned through and made my chocolate chip Welshcakes because tomorrow

Beloved’s brother and an old school mate of theirs will be visiting us for the weekend. Their friend has a

son who is currently working as a doctor in Swansea – not sure whether it’s Singleton or Morriston – so if

the BBC app’s weather forecast holds true, we might have a barbeque on Saturday.

My friends back in London have had mixed feelings about returning to work at school. Those who have

been shielding are adamant that they will be wearing a mask when they return, but in reality, I wonder

whether they will be able to do that. I must catch up with them all in a few days’ time to see how they have

got on. I wonder how many parents will continue to keep their children off school. I really do think that it’s

time to send them back now, but I know that the parents who will fight that are the ones whose children

need their education the most.

Dad’s been under the weather since shortly after they visited us for the barbeque. I spoke to him briefly

this morning, and he has at last been in touch with his doctor – the surgery still isn’t conducting

appointments in person, so he’s expecting an over-the-phone appointment later today. For Dad to make an

appointment to see the doctor, he must be worried. He always puts his own health last – they do say that

doctors make the worst appointments, and it’s true – even more so for retired doctors!

I’ve just had a WhatsApp message from Beloved – he thought he would be working in the Cardiff office

today, as he was yesterday, but he’s already had to go to Swindon and Cornwall. He will be exhausted

when he gets home tonight. I’m going to make a quick dash for Morrisons to see if I can grab a bargain

from their fish counter – some for tonight and some more for the weekend.

Tuesday 8 September 2020

Nothing seems to be going smoothly of late. We are juggling so many crises and doing our best to keep all

balls aloft. Aunty Pat is in the thopedic Hospital today – having a biopsy and numerous scans to try and

determine the spread of her disease. She had to be collected in a hospital car from home, and is meant to

be going home today too. I feel so bad because we’re now so far away from her. She is meant to have

someone staying with her overnight but we’re no longer an hour and a half down the A12, so she is relying

on her neighbours.

Beloved’s brother and their old school friend came at the weekend. They changed their plan and, instead

of travelling up from London late on Friday, came on Saturday instead, so they were here by the time I

arrived home for work. A couple of hours after I’d arrived home, Sis called: they’d had to take Dad to

hospital. His headache had worsened and he was extremely listless. After leaving strict instructions for

Thomas re food for the guests, I rushed up and decided to stay the night. I stopped off at the hospital first,

before going to see Mum and Sis, knowing that Covid would prevent me from seeing Dad, but I still had to

go in a vain attempt at satisfying myself that he was OK, at the risk of being a pest to the staff there. They

kindly rang the ward and I was able to have a brief word with Dad over the phone. He had a scan later that

evening, and it confirmed what I believe he suspected all along – that he has a haemorrhage in the brain.

All we can do now is pray. We can’t even go and see him. Mum is petrified as this is reminiscent of when

her dear friend was admitted and she remained there for about eight weeks. Her husband and daughter

were not permitted to visit her until half an hour before she died, when she was unresponsive and probably

unaware that they were even there. As I write this, I feel quite nauseous and goose pimples have crept

along my arm, from my fingers to my shoulder … moreover, I don’t think it’s the gust of wind that’s just

come in through the back door. Better stop now.

Thursday 17 September 2020

For the past few days I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to find sleep again.

Strange that, when we lose something, we always hope that we can find it again; even when we lose a

loved one, as a Christian, I know that I will be reunited with them in Heaven, but when we lose sleep, it can

never be found again. It’s gone forever. Although I haven’t been aware of anything in particular that has

been waking me up – I usually sleep like a log until an hour before my 6:00am alarm – I know that all the

worry about the health of my loved ones is playing on my subconscious. For now, everyone is in a ‘stable’

condition: Dad still in hospital, Mum at home with Sis, and Aunt Pat came out of hospital the same day.

She says that the care she had there is second to none – she was given a private ward with tea served in a

cup and saucer and poured from a proper teapot, and her chicken sandwich was the best she has ever

tasted (blimey, even better than M&S!) – so, despite the agony of her scan, the day did have its high points.

Oh, and now I know all the life intricacies of the two lovely drivers who collected her and took her back

home again – one from Romania, the other from Albania. I still wish I could just have been there for her

and feel as if I’ve let her down. She has no children, and has amazing neighbours who are also friends to

her, but I know that it’s not the same as family.

Beloved is still working from the Cardiff office. He says that quite a few people have been asking him for

his masks (he prefers to make the ones he’s made instead of the company’s one with the rather garishly-

printed logo printed right across it). I asked my line manager if it would be appropriate for me to sell my

lanyards at work and he was very supportive; he told me to take some photos so that I could send an email

around. I know that I’m going to find it really awkward to take money from colleagues so I really don’t know

whether I’m going to be able to go through with it at all, I might give them out to people on my team – yes,

that’s what I’ll do – then I’ll sell them to anyone else. Sorted. ☺ I had a delivery of cuboid beads yesterday

– it’s been really difficult to re-stock as they sell out straight away – they’re a particularly funky style but I’m

contemplating saving them for my glasses chains just so that I can have duplicates – I don’t know when I’ll

be able to get hold of more, and when they are in stock again, I’ll have to wait a few weeks for delivery from

China.

I love the fact that the three children have become even closer since Jennifer and Etta’s visit. I have

overheard Thomas and Jennifer chatting away on the phone most days. They are really supporting each

other: she with his Christian life, and he with her fitness. This is one of the wonderful rewards of the

pandemic – is that right – reward? The dark side does have flip side, and I know that whilst there has been

so much heartbreak, there has also been joy.

Robert is due back from his friend’s this weekend. I haven’t spoken to him for three weeks, but we’ve

exchanged a couple of WhatsApp messages. I don’t know which day he’ll be here, but if he’s true to form,

he will either give a call from the train to tell us what time he’s arriving – probably some unearthly hour of

Friday night when we’re all in our house clothes and have had that customary glass of wine or two that

punctuates the end of the week and start of the weekend, so he’ll need to take a taxi – or an equally

unearthly hour of Sunday night when we’re all set for bed in preparation for the new week ahead. His

body-clock and ours are in totally different time zones!

Oops, time for work…

Sunday 4 October 2020

A typically rainy day. Fabulous. All is good on the Front. Dad’s at home and out of the woods; Mum’s

hanging in there; Sis has had her offer on a house accepted, and Aunt Pat is scheduled to have her

shoulder replacement op a week on Tuesday. Work is quite samey; Beloved is back in the Swansea office,

and Robert came home on the Monday – his record so far.

Sophie has been very unwell and had to be tested for Covid; fortunately, the results came back negative.

I’ve just had a lengthy chat with her and she’s almost back to her old self. We always make each other

laugh and cheer each other up with our WhatsApp messages – even more so when we have a WhatsApp

video call.

I’ve sold a few pieces of jewellery, including lanyards, to a couple of people who have seen Sophie wearing

them at work. That was very encouraging. I’ve decided to open an Etsy shop and to try and be a little

more proactive with the selling side of things, although this is the side that I least like. I’m now marketing

my glasses chains as tri-purpose – also for use as a mask holder and as work ID lanyard. It gives potential

customers more options. Note to self: next time my phone needs to be replaced, buy one with a better

camera. Beloved has also improved on his masks even further and they are now absolutely perfect. He’s

suggested I share his website when he comes to renewing his subscription, so that’s something for me to

think about. I suppose at least my work is loosely linked with his – they are all fashion-based, although his

is funky African print shirts, skirts, bags and now masks too and mine is jewellery made mostly from glass

beads.

I’ve decided to brand my designs and ordered stickers that could be placed on the jewellery hanging cards.

I thought the instructions I’d provided were pretty straight forward:

And this is what arrived in the post…

Infuriatingly hilarious! Fortunately, when I pulled up the company on their mistake, they rectified it and sent

me gorgeous stickers with the correct wording pretty sharply. I’m sure they had lots of laughs about this

one…! I was planning on attending Christmas craft fairs, but most of them have been moved on-line and

the ones that are still going ahead are out of reach because of the local lockdown. I’m uncertain as to

whether or not to attend an on-line craft fair because I have a feeling that it’s only the crafters themselves

who will be browsing. It won’t be anything like a real one where people can look and touch.

Yes, we have been in a local lockdown for a week so this weekend we haven’t visited Dad and Mum. I no

longer keep up with the minutiae of the Covid restrictions because they change so frequently, so I’m not

even sure whether or not we can visit them inside. With another South Wales winter kicking in, if we aren’t

allowed to see them indoors, I don’t know how we’ll manage to see them at all. That’s one to work on…

And it’ll be Etta’s first birthday on the 30th of this month. I had booked a few days off work so that we could

be a part of her special occasion, but now with our local lockdown we won’t be able to travel to them. I feel

quite cheated. It’s unlikely that they’ll be able to come to us for Christmas either.

Aunt Pat has a shoulder replacement the week after next. I told her that I would go up and support her

when she comes out of hospital, but she’s emphatic that she would rather I went up a few weeks later. I

wonder if it’s because she’s concerned that she might contract Covid from me because of our lockdown…

I’ve told her that I’ll be on standby. In case the country repeats the parallel pandemic of panic purchasing,

she has placed on on-line order of a 48-pack of loo roll for us. The trouble is that she isn’t sure where she

ordered them from so isn’t able to track where they are. I think she’s far more concerned about us getting

caught short than we are ourselves. Bless her.

Trump has now contracted Covid. As has have his wife, Melania, and many of the people at an event he

attended last weekend. Having seen photos of said event, it is evident that there was no social distancing,

neither were many wearing masks. They’re clearly not as invincible as they thought, neither is Covid as

fictional as they thought. If Trump ever recovers from this, it will all be down to his ‘extreme fitness and

robust health’.

(Image: SBS News)

Covid times bring to mind World War I when people thought that the war would be ‘over by Christmas’.

Initially, many of us thought that the Covid pandemic would also be over by Christmas – what we should

have asked ourselves is: which Christmas? Previously unheard of clichés have become commonplace –

‘in these uncertain times’; ‘the new normal’ and countless others. But clichés stem from truths.

When Sophie informed the new headteacher that she would be wearing a mask when children returned to

school at the start of the new term, the head’s reaction was one of resistance; she said that Sophie would

frighten the children. Sadly, strangely, nothing could be further from the truth. Today’s children are used to

seeing their older siblings and parents wearing a mask every time they enter a shop. Masks are part of ‘the

new normal’. Similarly, keeping a ‘social distance’ and avoiding any physical contact whatsoever; stifling a

tickle in the throat so as not to emit any semblance of a cough in order not to be judged as having Covid;

wiping down shopping trolleys with disinfectant; having a squirt of hand-gel on the way into shops, work or

many other public buildings; wiping down work desks with anti-bac wipes before settling down to work;

disinfecting mail, shopping and any other item that enters the home; working remotely from home;

attending meetings virtually by Zoom; wearing a mask on a train, bus or in a taxi; telephone consultations

with doctors – are ‘THE NEW NORMAL’.

Will the pandemic be over by Christmas?

Which Christmas?