Corona Diaries

Nora

“Made mistake of looking at my muted groups...The child is not doing enough schoolwork by far!!!! Just

what I needed, extra pressure when I have no more give. I’m exhausted.”

Background information

Female, aged 35-44, Competence Lead for Energy Plant & Power Solutions and University Student,

South Wales, Married to Brian, Two children aged 17 and 9.

March 2020

7/3/20

Child has a youtuber workshop booked in the community entre tonight – really looking forward to it. But, I

get an email first thing telling me its cancelled because some staff have flu symptoms. News said that

these could be confused with the new virus, so they are postponing...new date to be released next week.

Sounds bit of overkill, but at lest they are thinking about the kids

9/3/20

Workshop is next Saturday, at least kids don’t have to wait too long, they’ve been so looking forward to it.

News seems to be ramping up, China is really struggling with the virus...seems its like SARS and makes

sufferers succumb to pneumonia type death. The old man’s friend in a new suit.

Going to ask Brian’s consultant about it tomorrow....wondering how worried I need to be with his chest.

Dreading the funeral as it is, can’t cope with this on top – its too scary.

Hardly any sleep again tonight....brain whirring

10/3/20

Brian appt with ENT specialist today. All seems good, had a load of students in there with him, about 6 of

us in his room...laughing about the elbow bumping greeting instead of the handshakes! I asked outright

whether we should be worried. I know he treats Brian’s brain tumour, but he knows all about the

Sarcoidosis as his first referral was for tumorous growths in the neck due to the disease. We know Brian’s

lymph, skin and lungs have been damaged by the disease, but the Dr was not at all concerned. He said he

will give us same advice he gave his 80 yr old parents, because even though Brian has lung damage, its

still not as bad as someone who has been a lifelong smoker, so no real danger there. He said just be

sensible...don’t go to any big sports events, or where there is likely to be big crowds, try to go to

supermarkets at quiet times etc.

So there we are...just try to be sensible. Feel a bit calmer about it, maybe the Chinese are having it so bad

due to their significant poverty, different lifestyles – the wet markets (eurgh).

Still only an hour or 2 sleep last night...hope for better tonight. Not looking forward to tomorrow in any way

shape or form.

11/3/20

Nan’s funeral.

Numb for mum and teen – her first experience, and she is trying to be so brave.

Then we have to go to the show in Cardiff...cant believe they are on same day. So so so torn, want to

grieve, but desperate not to let teen down, she spent fortune of these tickets for me for xmas.

12/3/20

Well, yesterday was a challenge in so many ways!

Saw family I hadn’t seen in years – its just crap that it only happens when someone dies (or get married)

...cousins I haven’t seen in 20 yrs or more were there...and everyone hugged each other, and kissed each

others cheeks. We have all been warned that tough and proximity are risks, but we paid no heed...

Then, teen and I changed and got on a train to Cardiff...it was almost empty! Had a G&T, and sat back to

try and relax...we talked without stop about nan all the way. Went for food, and then over to the arena. Got

a drink and wandered into the main crowd.... No-one was particularly bothered, the show was amazing,

with Lewis Capaldi taking the piss about the superspreader in the news...all very light-hearted, and no one

seemed to care. Really late home, cold and tired...

Bonus, did sleep for a good few hours straight...but have a rotten headache. Great.

In-laws due home from hols tomorrow (Lanzarote), Mother-in-Law is currently obsessed with the virus,

refusing to drink tap water before they left! Even kids are laughing at her, she is getting quite frazzled,

hope they get home ok, she must be going mad out there.

All school clubs have been cancelled, child is furious and upset in equal measure...what on earth am I

going to do with her energy now ?!?!?!? She is mad as hell.

Off to visit my aunt with kids today, cousin is returning to Australia after the funeral....seeing increasing

airport traffic, glad he’s going back now before it gets an more chaotic. Been so lovely seeing him, but its

achingly sad to see my aunt watching him leave for the 2nd time in 8 months.

Headache won’t sod off...guess I’m due for a migraine

13/3/20

My consultant appt at 8:30. He refuses to sign me fit for work, adding it’s the last place I want to be with the

chaos approaching! I asked him to explain...he told me his wife is a Dr in another health board, and she

was sent home for 12 weeks of isolation by her bosses as she has an autoimmune disorder (even though

she is currently healthy). This scares me enormously – at complete odds with what Brian’s consultant said

a few days ago....

Still can’t shake this headache, although it hasn’t reached migraine level thankfully

Parents off for a weekend in Benidorm, can’t believe rugby still on ...all footy been cancelled last week.

They need a break in a nice hotel after everything that’s happened with nan – plus all the house stuff that

needs sorting out. They left at 7 this morning, hope it’s a tonic!

Lunchtime – Rugby cancelled!!!!!!!

Parents got to hotel and rang this evening...were told on the bus that they are being restricted to their

hotel...Turned on news, Spain has declared all bars and restaurants must close at midnight! Bloody hell,

what have they got themselves into got them to worry about now.

Teen off to her bf’s 18th – hope she’s not too tired or hungover for work tomorrow, but she has a late start

so I’m sure she won’t let me down.

14/3/20

Message from Oz – cousin landed ok, but his work refuses to let him go back as he’s come from UK. 14

day quarantine. But I guess there’s worse places to have a break from work! He feels fit and well, so

fingers crossed he can get a test if needed.

Kate going straight out from work to cinema....working again tomorrow, still busy there she said.

Mum sent video....there is next to no one left in their hotel, all the Spaniards and Germans have left....it

looks deserted.

Friends came down for drink and chat – usual sat night, beer and wine in front of TV chatting about bits and

pieces...but lots more talk about virus. Catrin & Thomas got holiday booked next Friday... Catrin properly

stressed, she’s not good with uncertainty, and I can see her anxiety levels getting right up. Try to calm her

... doesn’t seem to be working as well as usual, maybe I’m not as outwardly calm as I think I am.

Nephew’s birthday party tomorrow.....wonder how many 5 year olds turn up with all this in the news...

15/3/20

The party – reasonable turn out actually. Few jokes between the family adults about whether or not to hug

each other! Mostly we don’t! Except Sister in Law’s (SIL) grandad who is determined to hug all the

ladies...he is such a love .. but he won’t be told! Him and wife due to go away on Thurs...they are not

bothered in slightest by virus, acknowledges he is in the danger group (over 70) get cares not a jot! Would

rather be allowed his holiday!!!

Got text...do I want tickets for the Stereophonics tonight? This time last week I would have jumped at them,

I have seen them so many times, and always enjoy...but only a few days after Lewis Capaldi concert, I

have had a complete about face. I absolutely do not want to be that close to 5000 other sweaty, heavily

breathing, dancing music lovers at the moment. No wonder my mate is trying to shift them.

Get back from party...last nights Phonics concert is all over the media, full on slagging off that they went

ahead. Accused of putting money before public safety. This could be a tough one from them to come back

from...

Videocall from parents....they have now been confined to their rooms....shit. Thank god its only for a few

hours, and they will be on a flight 7am tomorrow. Mum said the last of the European guests scarpered for

the airport first thing, only brits left. Panic that our village has been locked down....which is nonsense. Told

them there’s no panic here, just a bit of fuss over loo rolls and pasta!

Amy come home from work full of cold last night. Going to keep close eye on her....she has a sore throat,

and a tickly cough, which sounds like she’s just got off a plane! No temperature though. In-laws paranoid,

made her wear a mask at dinner.

16/3/20

Parents video-called from their flight... I’d been watching their airports (both side) as there has been chaotic

sights shown from loads of European ports...Spain, Italy...all quite hellish looking. Alicante showed lots of

flights departing though, all over the place (I counted 15 before theirs and 40 due after). Mum said that’s

weird, there was no-one in airport, hardly any flights, and only a few brits coming home. All very odd.

What aren’t they telling us then?

Anyway, they got home safe this afternoon, and not too soon. Worse and worse pictures from Spain with

police keeping people off the streets and beaches, patrolling queues outside of the supermercados etc..

Brian said there are whispers starting in work about whether we should be taking more care, and if our

workplace should even be operating...sounds like gossipy scaremongering.

Brownies is on tonight, so at least the child will have something to do for an hour!

17/3/20

Well...we are now getting daily updates on the BBC direct from PM and his team. Social gatherings are

being strongly advised against. Not really sure what that means for work, but I’m guessing that social life

will be far less of an event! Typical, was going to book birthday meal for sat night...nothing fancy!

Sounds like the work from home thing will be pushed in work for the office lot...what a turnaround, they

bloody hate that!!!

Auntie sent home from work – told she has to isolate for 12 weeks! Due to her diabetes, they have

said...told her she is vulnerable. She has more problems with her dodgy knees than her diabetes...the

woman is a whirlwind of anxiety and chaos at the best of times. I hope this doesn’t upset her.

Paddy’s day meme fest with the school mums group – what we needed to cheer ourselves up hahaha...we

have a lovely Irish friend who works at the Drs as a receptionist, and has the mouth of a sailor!

Bloody hell...Rob Beckett tour is off, seen on his insta, that’s the show in grand cancelled for end of May

then. Crikey....end of may cancelled. Now what will I do for Brian’s birthday?

Now seen on community council group – the community centres are being closed. Last night’s brownies

were the last then...

What the hell is going to happen with schools then...no social gathering, then why the hell are we still

sending our kids into school?? I’m feeling quite off kilter. Nothing is making much sense...either we don’t

meet up or we can. Govt won’t make it clear, why?

18/3/20

33 UK deaths reported since yesterday

Went over Brother in Laws (BIL) and SIL for nephew’s birthday...heavy talk from work. All who can need to

work from home. Thank God I’m still on sick leave...maybe I will give BIL my laptop to reset in work just in

case...don’t know how long Working from Home (WFH) will last.

Then came the bulletin from Welsh news, Schools will close on Friday. No-one knows for how

long....colleges must follow surely. What on earth will happen to the exams? There seems to be nothing

further. Niece is crying ...she wants to stay in school. Don’t know what to say to her, its hard for a 14-year-

old to grasp how serious all this is I think.

Thank goodness the teen did her GCSEs last year, although there will no doubt be some level of chaos

regarding her AS levels. That’s all I need now, a frazzled teen in blind confusion knowing she has

applications for Uni based on this result....

There’s still so much confusion about the isolation procedures...Mother-in-Law (MIL) being called to her

mother’s sheltered complex, she’s 94 and has carers. There is a meeting tomorrow apparently. There’s so

much not coming over effectively – only told to worry about coughs, temperature...especially for those with

heart and respiratory disorders, an immune compromised people. Brian falls into this group, why on earth

hasn’t anyone told us what to expect?

Friend Mo – her brother is mid 30s and fit/healthy. He has it – been ill since Saturday. So, I’m guessing

you don’t have to be at risk then. Shit.

MIL can’t see any of the kids anymore – she has to be available for nana.

Glastonbury has been cancelled...that’s not until June! Boris said all schools will shut tomorrow now, not

just welsh ones. Still no word on colleges...teen has been over twice this week to upload bacc work, got the

feeling it will all stop soon...will have to email the Uni. Wonder if I will ever get this last bloody top up year

done.

19/3/20

33 UK deaths since yesterday.

Tired, grouchy and miserable. Hardly any sleep...The online crap is really gathering pace with rumours of

army on streets and stopping people leaving home. All a bit dystopian, but I think it’s all a hoax, no way are

we at that point when people working as normal – even if there is more social separation. News said just

one Italian city recorded 93 deaths overnight. 1 city. people dying alone...hospitals not able to save them,

makes me uncomfortable, wobbly pit of my stomach feeling.

My friend (Dr receptionist) verbally abused at work yesterday. Normally so calm and professional, it broke

her, the feelings are so brittle, they are all under huge pressures and then she gets called lazy twat - sitting

on her arse doing nothing. Wish I could have seen her and given a hug, but a virtual WhatsApp one was all

we could do. Makes me feel unfeeling (in a way).

The queen has been rushed to her Windsor home...she released a statement. Nice thought, maybe the

oldies will listen to her, nothing seems to have got through to them yet....so many still out and about, not a

care in the world. I wish they would take this thing seriously....

20/3/20

40 UK deaths.

Last day of school....SIL said they’ve been about 75-80 kids short each day this week due to parents

keeping them home. Not sure if that will achieve anything now with only today left. Anyway, non-uniform

so the usual drama over clothes took place, but to be fair, my heart wasn’t really in it and I let her choose.

Gone to school in favoured “playing” clothes. Sod it...why should I care about that now? She is being

picked up and having tea with her friend, her last day of seeing anyone – they been in school all day

together, how much more harm could it be. Child’s friend birthday same as mine.....shes going for nuggets

and slime making. Just the 2 of them...no-one else.

Our booking for sat night been cancelled. Hmph. I know its sensible, but there always seems to be an

“event” around my birthday every blooming year. Child broke her foot last year ...only time I’ve ever left her

for a weekend with the in-laws and I come back to a busted kid! That seems like years ago now, our little

haven up in the welsh hills...was so lovely, can’t think of a better place to hide this out. So much fallen

through, Rick Astley and Rob Beckett been postponed...and tickets for mum and dads concert moved too.

Lots of xmas and birthday plans all down the swanny. Seems selfish to complain, about 100 people are

dead this week, and I’m fed up of not having anything to look forward to. I’m a terrible person.

Picked up Brian’s new specs...opticians cancelling appts left right and centre when we arrived. In Tesco,

customers wandering around hugging huge packs of loo roll!!!! Bloody comical looking.

Noticed no fresh meat anywhere, or fish. Just packs of sausages ...bizarrely. plenty of fresh fruit and veg

and dairy though. Picked up milk and spuds and went to drop MIL and mum’s Mother’s Day gifts off.

Saw MIL...popped in for 20 mins but kept our distance, no answer at my mums. MIL wearing gloves in the

house now. Panicking about getting frozen meals for nana cos she has no storage in the flat...her brother

has a bloody shop!!!!

Teens last time to visit BF...we all know it. She’s being very good about it all – realises her dad is

vulnerable and doesn’t complain. He picks her up at half 9. That’s it...no school, college. They are home.

I’m exhausted thinking about it. Teen has her sat shift cancelled, only got a schedule for Sunday, and

everything after that has been greyed out, she can’t select it to view...something is brewing. All sit down

areas are shut since before last weekend, and she spent all day disinfecting the auto kiosks touch screens

on her last shift. American stores are shut, we can’t be far behind.

That’s it.... we are on lockdown from Monday. Shits getting real. Boris conference said that we need to be

working from home at all times (where we can), this has changed drastically in toe over the last few

days...from maybe shutting schools to closing indefinitely and public order rules. The recommendations for

not socialising weren’t enough it seems...

Brother’s wedding has been postponed to Sept 30th...a flipping Wednesday !!!! I’m gutted for them, but at

least they are not out of pocket and its all been moved. Aaaannnddddd......I am actually all

organised...dress, hat bag etc!! there is a small silver lining! And I’ve managed to get out of the hen do,

didn’t fancy it at the moment, especially as mum still so wrecked after nans passing.

Catrin and Thomas got their holiday formally cancelled last night, and will get their money back...lucky from

what I’ve seen online!

21/3/20

56 UK deaths.

Nosing about online...all I seem to do, at the moment – seen the café up the road doing takeout afternoon

tea for tomorrow. Well, I’ve nothing else to look forward to, so booked for us. Hope its nice. Kids acting

like it’s the first day of the summer holidays....doesn’t seem to have had an impact on them, but I’m going to

watch out for anything not right with them...lets hope I notice. Teen is worried that her grades will be

decided unfairly, I hope that she doesn’t let it fester ....

Should be worried about my own academic course, but I’m just too apathetic to consider it ....don’t know

what to do, it’s a waste to let it go, but can I be bothered to re-engage, will I have time? Do I care??

22/3/20

48 UK deaths – falling!!!

Mother’s Day. Cards and wine from kids....

Mum rang about 11, said she will stop in the car outside to drop off my birthday card, told her I will give her

gift at same time. She had already been to cemetery to visit nans grave with flowers...its freezing with

terrible wind, I hope she wasn’t there long, she’s looking so drawn and frail, last thing I need is for her to get

ill...she worries me enough as it is. Child pissed off I wouldn’t let her out to the car, got really upset, but

waved from the door. Felt like a terrible person, for both mum and kid.

Teen left for work, and I found myself lecturing her...keep washing, don’t go close to any one, keep your

bleach spray handy...gave me her best eyeroll and left.

Had several drive-by’s today, school mums knocked door and left me a birthday care package!!! Friend

spoke to me from the pavement about 5m away, was nice to see someone and talk – even if it was more of

a shout! Gifts incl Flowers, chocs, wine & loo roll!! (see pic)

Brother, and BIL dropped cards off for me, and MIL/FIL walked

over and stopped at bottom of drive to speak to us. This feels

so very odd...it’s like we are all contagious even though we are

all fit and well (besides my 10-day headache). I’m finding the

lack of proximity disturbing, I’m touchy and grumpy, and find

myself snapping at K and Child. I’m permanently tired from not

sleeping...which has been the case since my injury last year,

and then the bereavement, and now this. Seems I’m not

destined to have more than 3 hours a night.

Afternoon tea arrives...I’m not as impressed as I thought but

waiting for teen to arrive home and will eat together with a

movie. She phones, being let go 2 hrs early...at 6pm, then rings

at 4:45 to say she needs picking up. They are closing. She

spent all day washing down the stairs!!!!!

Weird realisation today – brother’s wedding cancelled...means I

know I’ll spend all summer with age-inappropriate hair! Can’t cut

it now...got to keep going til end of sept. Child has decided to practise her braiding skills – not a good look.

23/3/20

54 UK deaths.

Lockdown starts – crappy birthday!

Brian still working but has day off, its lovely so he is out in the garden working on his new shed. Kids

decide to help. Sod home-schooling, they can get outside while it’s nice and learn some practical skills.

This also means I’m left alone with TV and books. About the best I

can hope for given the circumstances. Brian hasn’t got a gift – we

usually go out together, so he feels a bit rotten....but I am too

ambivalent to it all. I feel detached somehow, and I’m not certain

why....because its another birthday, or all the personal stuff

(bereavement, family worry, injury/recovery/rehab), or due to the

corona crisis.

Finished reading Jennifer Worth’s collection on east end and her

nursing career. Really touched by her attention to the social

elements of her writing. I had only come to her after realising “call

the midwife” was based on her memoirs. I binge watched them all

while off work and spent much of the books spotting the bits that had

been dramatised from her real-life experiences. Found it was the

most shocking bits! Also, really surprised by how much attention

she paid to the social changes of post war London and how it

impacted the population of the poorest areas of the time. Its put me

in a better mindset set...not quite blitz spirit, but how they suffered is

no comparison to what we are dealing with. I should be grateful

Brian and I have a good employer...we don’t have to worry about

rent, we have our income to make our time bearable. We have sky

tv, fibre internet, a warm home with clean water, plenty of food and

drink, and the kids are safe in their beds. I need to grow the f*** up

and stop being so put out by it all.

Better mood tonight, opening that prosecco from the girls, and trying to improve my outlook. Bought Disney

plus subscription.

Catrin called – she’s been told to stay off work, trying to access help and getting in a state. Found some

info on gov website about furloughing, the chancellors support for employees...she has to send it to h er

boss. He is a bugger of a boss, hope it all gets sorted, there’s no way she can work at the moment

(hairdresser). So this is where my default setting comes in – facilitator. Back to workplace Babs already.

We both moan about the Royal Welsh being cancelled...so that’s end of July out of order then.

Did have a giggle over an email...was getting furious over travel companied still advertising their deals

when I was getting safety notices from the usual retailers I use when I get the best one from UNIdays;

“Being stuck in is not so bad – Big savings with Ann Summers!”

24/3/20

87 UK deaths!!! Shot up!

Kids spend all day in the garden, weeding and clearing up for their daddy! They walk the dog, Child has

adopted a pretty stern “Social distancing” gesture...holds her nose with one hand, and sticks the other

straight out. It looks comically offensive. Teen is horrified.

Brian put on short working, 3 days this week, 2 days next week. Formal email from work announcing the

adoption of social distancing...that is impossible in so many frontline roles.

Kids been so good, ordered digital movie for them to watch....this could be an expensive summer.

25/3/20

43 UK deaths – halved!

Another lovely day, kids outside again. Still pretty happy though, got plenty of washing on the go last couple

days, trying to stay busy myself. They are showing signs of boredom...asked to get a new football,

amazon’s next delivery date 22nd April !!!! Cant even get a cheap badminton set for the garden.....popping

out to do our shop tomorrow (Brian off) will have a look while we are out.

Now the whole hospitality thing is all controlled, I’ve managed to move our hotel booking for the Rick gig

without paying and fees....happy with that!

Prince Charles has COVID! Guess he should have namaste’d a bit earlier than he did!

26/3/20

113 UK deaths – oooohh.

Skype meeting with work, told them I can WFH, as we are in this position...I can contribute. HR didn’t

sound too happy but agreed I can do a few hrs 3 days a week. Boss needs me to do stuff, so will help all I

can, maybe I will feel a bit more useful. Already fed up of cleaning and cooking and sitting on my arse. I

still need to be aware of my limitations....my rehab clinic is obviously closed now, and I will have to go when

it re-opens. Out from 11am to 1pm ...left kids home and went out with Brian. It wasn’t properly busy, but

those who were out didn’t see bothered about keeping their distance! Got everything we needed, but there

was evidence of people hoarding...freezers were near empty, but there was plenty of fresh meat, fruit and

veg which suits us! Cashier in home bargains told us his colleague was assaulted this week, was stacking

a shelf, and didn’t hear someone approaching him – who then pushed him across the aisle in to the

opposite shelving – while screaming at him to get our of his way and keep his distance!! He said he is now

banned - but had been an older man, not someone you would expect ....it appears that the implications of

the distancing policies are having unfortunate outcomes on some.

Bonus – found a badminton set for kids to play in the garden for £4! They had put 2 shuttlecocks on roof

within 10 mins....back to square one aarrrgghhh!!!!

Also bought small bag of compost, Child enjoyed planting out her

seedlings into the leftover tray from our afternoon tea...all ready for

brownies grow badge! There were approx.. 100 seeds in the pack

we started...down to about 40 sprouts! But they seem to be ok, just

hope at least 1 survives into a full-size succulent, otherwise it will

be ALL my fault!!!

Work email – try not to travel together, but if you have to, 2 per car

in diagonals! Seems we are supplying (via tubes) to metal for the

beds for the new nightingale hospitals. Along with packaging, we

seem to be still going strong.....even though car manufacture is

slowing. Not such a bad day overall...didn’t feel too off kilter, no

stress from kids either.

27/3/19

181 UK deaths.

K home with a letter to show police if he’s stopped, showing he is a key worker!

Boris has COVID – him and Charles.....hmm maybe will take it a bit further by parliament now, and be

sterner in control?

Child hit the wall today – tearful and frustrated...doesn’t know what to do with herself, and as its so cold out,

she doesn’t want to be outside. Girls have taken dog out each day which has been nice for them all, but

they don’t want to go today, and I can’t say I blame them. Bloody freezing. I can’t hold him, if he pulls on

the lead, he might set me back off again.

Teen got an email from McDonald’s....she is being furloughed. So now we know, she has a job to return to

(yay) and will be getting some pay at least! Great news cheered her up no end!

28/3/20

260 UK deaths!!!!!

Cold horrible grey day. Matches my mood....

Crap tv, laying on the sofa most of day. Just managed the basics, quick clean up and sort kitchen, make

food.

Bath, bed....totally crap.

29/3/20

209 UK deaths bit of a dip.

Trawled socials online today...been up since 7, couldn’t sleep, had fractured night, vivid dreams, waking

every hr or so.

Slow roasted a leg of lamb as I was up so early, at least that’s something productive I can do.

Talked online a bit to girls (school mums) today...been avoiding them a bit as they’ve been getting into

gaming apps, not for me, and I don’t want to seem antisocial as they are so lovely...

Caught up with Catrin and Mum today....everyone seems ok. Catrin being bit anxious, mum bit down, but is

hoping to get on with work this week. I can be bothered with anything...but I have got work online for few

hours tomorrow.

30/3/20

180 UK Deaths...less again

Did first few hours officially WFH. Was ok, a bit slow, but I have to work in the protected part of the

network, so it will be what it is. I can’t access from a personal device and can see how frustrating this will

get. Managed to mark a few PDF workplace assessments. Didn’t take long to work out a way that fits for

me. Happy with that anyway!

Brian on an “off” day, spend day outside working on his new shed! Got kids out there for a bit (even

thought its cold), gave them something to do and got some fresh air. They also took out the dog, so there’s

a bit more of a settled air about the place today. Thank god...I found the weekend with them being flouncy

and stroppy hard work. Can’t do 3 months of that...I will really struggle (as will they).

Saw a job ad couple weeks ago for Civil service...been playing with it in my mind. Decided to apply – got

nothing to lose, have I? They can’t recruit for a while, prob won’t even get past the sift though, as I’m in

private sector...they prob prefer public sector already. Made me feel like I’ve done something for myself for

the first time in ages.

Email from work at end of day...they will be looking to furlough workers!!! Bloody hell, I might be straight off

again! They said they will top up month one to 95%, and month 2 to 90%, and will review in May when govt

reviews...Wait and see now.

31/3/20

Life has changed.

Brian has been sent 12 week shielding letter from the Health Authority. Cannot even leave the house at all

now...should even be in separate room, and bed/bathroom. Not possible for us in out little house. Will

have to limit how much I go out instead to prevent bringing it home...disinfect everything more often...doors,

etc.

Shopping is going to be hellish...he can’t leave at all, I can’t lift, Amy will have to help me. Some shops are

stopping more than one person per family going in... There are no online slots for weeks...Gov has not

passed on names to supermarkets for us “priority” shoppers (been on news).

Work don’t know what to do, there is no policy in place...Brian’s booking WFH from tomorrow on.

Sent over copy of letter to BIL – he is the timekeeper for his area anyway, so at least that is helpful.

Told him not to accept any local measures, he has to wait for formal policy from HR. They have to treat

everyone the same, and Brian is worried about being furloughed (he was classed as an essential key

worker prior to letter).

Plus point though, new bathroom fittings and shower ordered before all the lockdown chaos have arrived,

so he can at least stay busy for a day or two (hahaha).

April 2020

1/4/20

563 UK deaths!!!!!!!!!! (total now 2352 since start March)

Few hrs WFH. Reasonable enough access today.

Mr Motivator is on TV – is this an April fool??? Brian thought he died years ago!

Lots of stuff being confirmed cancelled...Edinburgh festival, Wimbledon, all off!

Brian is super grouch...still having to get used to isolation, and the thought of being stuck her with me and 2

girls is apparently too much for him already! Great. That’s something to look forward to.

Have to pick up my script today – I’m on a long-term anti-inflammatory/painkiller combo for my herniated

lumbar discs, and my psoriatic arthritis. Dreading it...Catrin said it was chaotic end last week, and FIL

waited 4 hrs for his! Had text from GP to go between 3 & 4:30. It bloody freezing too, can’t wait

Took me about an hour to pick up script and collect from temp outdoor counter of pharmacy next door.

Local council set up one of the marquees they use for the summer fete – it appears that will be the only

thing it’s used for this year! All marked up with 2m queues, it seemed quiet and well managed. Until an

older woman turned up, and rather stroppily demanded she pick up a friend’s tablets. She walked up to me

as I was being served...I backed away, as she said out loud and in my general direction that she wants to

go in. I replied that the pharmacist assistant will come out to her, and she huffed quite loudly. I went into

the marquee to wait, (out of her way to be honest).

I watched as she shouted at and harassed the assistant, who when back inside. I saw a more senior

assistant come out (I know these ladies, my local branch and I’m in there regularly for my own meds). The

shouting started again, and off she stormed without her friend’s medication. Turns out, there was not

enough stock, and she was told they could deliver it directly to the patient in the morning...but that

apparently wasn’t satisfactory for this very well dressed, 60 something year old woman. It was

embarrassing and shocking to see...she was old enough and bright enough to know better to be quite

frank...and I was surprised to see how people are changing their behaviour, not all in a good way.

Popped to Coop to get milk and bread and some fresh fruit. No queues, and lots of stock (restricted by 2

items of each type per customer). Small trolley as I can’t lift, ended up spending £80 – don’t know how?!?!

Stink of profiteering, only a small supermarket, and the only thing other than spar and corner shops for this

village.

2/4/20

569 UK deaths, (totals UK - 2921, 117 in Wales)

Had the fridge freezer from my nan home, spent few hours cleaning it on the patio. Another cold windy

day. Called to hardware store to get bits for Brian to carry on doing things, help him to get over being stuck

at home. He’s working on the roof for his new shed. Busy keeps him happy, especially as it’s something

he wants to do! As he can’t go anywhere, the garden is his world now.

New research says virus could travel further than previously thought...and that neurological issues are

being reported. This makes me more nervous for Brian – he has radiotherapy for his brain tumour end last

June....swelling can take 12 months to completely dissipate, and we have no idea if growth has stopped as

he wasn’t due for measurement scan until this June. Puts me more on edge for him in case he is exposed.

Eddie Large – comedian from my childhood had died...was in hospital for heart failure and caught COVID!

Clap for carers this week...much more interactive where we live. Didn’t hear anything last week...heard lots

this week!!!!! Pic of Boris doing it outside no11...he looks rough as. Don’t think we will see him in front of

cameras for a bit.

BIL turned up – fuming!! He knows Brian is in complete isolation....and his wife (NHS – hospital care

assistant) is high risk as her ward is being used for COVID patients!!! My blood is boiling. I made Brian

shout at him from the door as he came straight around the back to the patio...

What the hell was he thinking...I’m so angry. To add to all this dystopian shit, news reports Trump...he

reckons he’s number 1 on the internet. I just can’t.......

3/4/20

684 UK deaths (total 3605)

Up early to get some work done, Matt Hancock on breakfast wearing an NHS pin makes me feel

queasy...he’s such a creep (opinion – sleezeball, would throw you under a bus for 2 pins).

USA – all seems to have gone totally crazy, over 52,000 dead!!! And Trump wants it done so USA can

“open” again by Easter?!?!?!?! I have watched passively Trumps last 3yrs to be honest, didn’t really pay

much attention apart from giggling at the obvious bloopers...but this is a whole new level of incompetence

on public display.

Globally, the west is really getting battered by this thing now, 100,000 cases took 55 days to reach,

500,000 reached at day 76, hits 1M cases just 8 days later. >5% fatality rate (incl. Italy, Spain, France

Germany, UK, USA etc)

These are not third world economies; we have high levels of technologically advanced health

services...why are we now worse than China? What is going on here?

I’ve seen people seriously questioning whether or not this was “allowed” to spread knowing how seriously

the effects are felt by the older generations, those who are currently draining their country’s resources and

pension schemes by living so long, needing increased healthcare and the expense of social care. Sounds

F***ed up, but there are questions there...could there be some truth in it???

Bloody hell...GP’s sending out DNR letters! MIL mum received one. She called over, we spoke on the drive

as she dropped off some shopping for us, and gifts for the kids. MIL in a right state – nana would not

understand the letter...it’s asking would you like to be taken to hospital or stay in your own home if you

became ill...she 94! This is too much for her, she “gets” the handwashing, and even sends her carers out

soon as possible, spraying Dettol behind them...but that’s about as much as she can take in. Told MIL to

forget all about it, and only consider it if anything happens to her. FIL said same. MIL said, but what if she

needs a ventilator? I said I doubted she would be given priority over younger patients....after all, that’s

basically the decision the NHS in London have been making and talking about online..... She’s best not

thinking on it, and not saying anything to nana. She can only phone as it is, and as deaf as nana is, I doubt

she would get anywhere with the conversation!

Knocked the top of the burn on my hand I did on the oven few days ago...bloody painful. I’m going to forget

it all tonight tho...staying offline, no news, nothing. Going to have a takeaway and a few drinks with Brian

and the kids...try to be normal.

4/4/20

708 UK deaths – just keeps rising. (4313 total, another 13 in Wales).

Really had a lovely night last night. Needed it, was nice to not talk about it, watch any news, or look online

at anything!!!!!! Watched crap tv and watched a bunch of Tik Tok’s with the kids...they have done a few of

their own, and its such fun to see them being “normal”.

That’s taught me a lesson – stay away from the constant news stream, go back to movies and books, and

don’t feel guilty about having a couple of drinks and relaxing.

I am determined we will all have some downtime.

5/4/20

621 UK deaths (4934 in total).

Managed to stay offline yesterday, almost felt like a normal weekend. Spent afternoon laying on the bed

while the child put make up on me and painted my toenails while crappy 80’s movies played in the

background!

First morning I’ve managed to sleep on for ages, only woke 3 times last night! Brian said I punched and

kicked out all night and was really restless, but I do remember dreaming I was in the Navy at one point (god

knows why).

It’s a lovely day – I’m buggered if I’m doing a roast in this! Brian is fitting the new shower. My burned hand

looking a little better – was worried it was going septic, but I’m guessing the antibiotic cream is doing its

job...even though it’s still sore as hell and properly green coloured

Just heard on news a 5-year-old died yesterday...and Boris is still in isolation, also saying Carrie has it too.

Poor girl, bad enough she’s pregnant.

6/4/20

403 UK deaths – 27 in Wales.

Terrible vivid dreams again last night...dreamt of a massive train crash in a local village (where there is no

trainline) with loads of fatalities. I’m there, watching – somehow my luggage is on this crashed train, and I

can see wild animals running away from the wreckage with body parts in their mouths...and I’m trying to get

away from it all...woke with a jump at 02:50. Could not get back to sleep after that...finally give in and get

up about half 6 and start work.

Breakfast tv on in background...Boris rushed to hospital overnight!!! They are saying for observation but

judging by the state of him at the NHS clap last week, I doubt very much he’s any better. I hope he

recovers....not his biggest fan, but he seems to be having a go. Keir Starmer appointed opposition leader –

there’s a chance he could make the changes that could let me vote Labour again? We will see.... Jeremy

Corbyn did far too much damage, and I’ve hated the Blairites since he lied and schmoozed his party to an

unedifying and unsustainable precipice of shite!

The child is a stroppy little mare today – the teen went dog-walking alone, and then helped Brian with the

garden work.

Cannot bring myself to do any of the Uni work I need to now.

Honor Blackman died today – not from covid by all accounts...aww, a real Bond girl.

Scary stats on news tonight – Domestic violence calls have increased by 25% since the start of the

lockdown. Worst bit is that it doesn’t really surprise me, being cooped up with people you like is tough

...but with someone you’re in a destructive relationship with...doesn’t bear thinking about.

7/4/20

786 UK deaths.

Another bad night...lack of sleep is physically painful, and on top of all that, Brian wriggled all night as his

gout has flared up. I could scream – but who would notice...

Oh, and Boris moved to intensive care overnight...don’t tell me that’s observation! He’s a big, hefty lad, I’m

betting he is in trouble...

Not a proper workday for me, so spent hours and hours trying to get my head around what is needed for

this exam. I’m fried....

I have no bloody clue what the question I’m supposed to prep actually is!!!!!!

Seems we have been updated, and instead of the 4 topics for the May 1st exam, they have specified 2 and

both will be prepped for the timed release.

Even though I have had all my final years second assessments accepted for extenuating circumstances –

first submission in Aug due to my accident at xmas...I have been advised to consider doing the exam for

International Business now instead as I will have the same advantage as the other students. Only problem

is I haven’t had a single teaching hour since end Nov 2019! Going to have to try and teach myself

...and this one is my most helpful tutor, so lord help me with ethics and my final live research project!

Think I’ve got my final design for research Q’s...emailed the tutor, need to wait and see now. My research

partner has dropped out so I’m going solo – which will be hellish for the presentation (if it ever happens). 30

mins alone is a tough call for an academic presentation (work is far easier – I know that).

It’s not doing my anxiety levels any good whatsoever...

The child and teen have become nocturnal...which tends to disrupt me just when I’m starting to lose my

patience...haven’t seen either of them before 11 am this week so far.

Have to food shop soon...like old mother Hubbard’s here. Will have to brave it tomorrow.

8/4/20

WFH – 4 hours in the controlled database seemed like a lifetime!!!!! I know it’s an infrastructure problem we

all have to face but working inside secure software makes it triple hard!!!

Run the gauntlet at Lidl – really felt tense and uptight...old people have no fucking sense of staying away –

maybe Boris should have said 2 yards instead of 2 metres and they may understand!!!!!!! Did half of what I

needed to too, had to come back... wore all my PPE, cleaned everything...taken me ages to come back

down to earth.

Still no news on Boris....Govt saying the curve close to flattening, but yet they are opening another 14

nightingale units! WTF?????

We been notified in work that we have had a fatality within the workforce. A few are in hospital in various

states...don’t know how to feel. He was same age as my FIL. At least he has been furloughed, MIL

keeping him permanently Dettol-ed!!!

Brother rung me, says mum is struggling with it all. What does he expect me to do, at least he still sees

them...I remind him we are isolated and I speak to her on phone/facetime etc. I can’t do anymore...don’t

know what he expects. He has bugger all to worry about, no kids, can work from home easily, shares

looking after my mum/dad’s dogs...yet wants to pile it on my conscious. Specially as his cancelled wedding

would have been tomorrow and he wants to spend a special day with his fiancée...

I just can’t...

9/9/20

881 UK deaths!!!!!!

Brothers cancelled wedding – I still do right thing and send text.

MIL birthday...got flowers and chocs while shopping yesterday and have cards with money in for her to

shop when she can. Dropped over with kids in car...chatted from the middle of the road, was nice to see

them, it’s a beautiful warm day again, kids happy to see their grandparents. MIL is using a bottle of Dettol

every 2 days, FIL can’t quite get over it, she is even wearing gloves in the house all the time now, there is

only 2 of them there...they have no visitors and shop once a week!!! If it wasn’t such a scary time, I’d be in

danger of laughing in their faces!

SIL dropped off easter chocs...feel bad I didn’t get any for nephew, but she was happy as he had a real

bunny instead!!!! Poor lad only 5, and he looked so lonely in the car...really misses his Uncle Bri.

Watched kids Tik Toks... Nieces & nephew did a brilliant Phineas and Ferb one, took me back to the teen

being little hahaha.

10/4/20

980 UK deaths ......that’s not flattening!

I hate WFH on Fridays – they seem to do all the updates then, and I can’t get to where I need to be, bloody

thing keeps kicking me out!

Boris out of ICU...bloody excellent, I thought he was a gonner!!!!

Mass graves being dug in New York....like something out of the plague, the news reports are horrendous.

Taken lesson from last weekend, going to try and avoid news and socials to give my poor squeaky brain a

rest. Sleeping is variable, and I’m still getting a bit ratty in the days, but once again, the weather is keeping

me going.

Brian done a brilliant job building the new little shed, and we have given my late nan’s fridge freezer a

home in it! It is however full of wine, beer and cider, but I’m sure she would approve!!!

Going to have a little BBQ and a drink tonight. Reward Brian and the kids for all their hard work

Will work on my questionnaire tomorrow...

11/4/20

917 UK Deaths

God its hot hot hot today. I am not doing work, sod it, I’m out in the garden tidying up what I can.

Mum rang kids last night, promised to drop down the hot tub she bought them (it lives in her house usually).

The child is besides herself with excitement. Doesn’t realise it takes a day to set up properly!

Managed to convince Brian to watch “Tiger King” on Netflix... tonight, we start!

12/4/20

737 UK deaths.

WTF happened to the weather?!?!?!? It’s cold and horrible, and it’s so amazing how it reflects on us so

quickly. Misery central here... had no sleep at all. Didn’t go to bed until after 1:30, and was back on sofa

by 6, was in agony all night – can bet I hurt my back in the garden yesterday. Anyway, gave me plenty of

time to hide a bunch of choccy eggs for kids to hunt for, the child had been convinced the Easter Bunny

was in quarantine, so had an hour of fun while she searched the house.

Been online with my cousin in Oz....they are allowed out fishing and work is not really affected where they

are, seeing as he had to quarantine for 14 days when he got back there after nan’s funeral on 15th March.

You will get fined for being out without good reason though Au $1000!!! His 2 girls loving the night fishing,

catching some huge things too! Great pics....so lovely to see them.

Discs in my back sending me warning shots all day – especially while doing the roast...had lamb slow

cooking since 6:30...going to finish the Tiger King binge tonight, knew once I got Brian on it he would be

hooked!

13/4/20

717 UK Deaths...

Had to take some serious meds for my back last night...still struggled to rest.

The Tiger King – OMFG!!!!!! I am not usually surprised by hillbilly Americans...but this guy was a caricature

of a gay redneck loony. I’m completely without words... decided to follow the original doc maker online

(before the Netflix guys and the guy who lived there and got his stuff burned up – which I’m convinced Joe

planned btw).

Cooler day, so Brian and the teen taking the roof off the old garage...I may go out and read on the swing for

a bit to help me avoid the news!

Only working 2 days this week – so heading flat out into Uni work... need to prep so much, and once again,

I’ve procrastinated all weekend.

14/4/20

The child’s football club doing one of those NHS stay home pics, she has finally coloured in her word

15/4/20

Work meeting – will carry on with 4 hrs a day working...but up to 5 days from 3. Review in month. Takes

bloody 4 hrs to log through security

17/4/20

The child being quite weird... time for online gaming break. Had a talk, she doesn’t even realise how

stroppy she is being. Kind of matched me though, bit of a wobbly day myself. Really stressing over this

exam piece. Bri gives me the rolling eye thing “you always stress, but you always fly through it...etc..” but

he doesn’t realise how hard I work in lecture time. I haven’t had a lesson in months. I only have a bunch of

power points. Don’t blame him, he’s not an academic...he is a hands-on blue-collar engineer, worked up

from apprentice on the outcome of his learning...not marked on what he called “book engineering”. No

sympathy there.... The worst 2 grades I have ever had were the last 2 I had to submit during first couple

weeks of my illness when I could not get extenuating through quickly enough and wrote through a haze of

codeine and diazepam. 20% lower on one paper, 15% lower on the other. I should have enough in the

bank as compensatory scores to maintain my target of a First – my course leader seems to think so as he

tried to calm me!

Time to put my big girl pants on and knuckle down to it......Brian, teen and child will have to fend for

themselves for a bit!

18/4/20

Well...shocker today. The child was approached on her phone by a strange man... she was absolutely

terrified, went straight to the teen...who phoned her boyfriend to find out who he is and came to tell me.

Turns out, some evil little brat in the child’s school stole her number from a classmate some time ago. We

had blocked him from being able to contact her, but he has taken it upon himself to share her number with

others online. We don’t know how or why, but the man that contacted the child was in INDIA!!!! Teens

boyfriend (18 yr old) told him in no uncertain terms he was contacting a child and to stop – man replied “oh,

I know...it’s good, we can all be friends”

I MEAN LIKE...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!?

Boyfriend warned him off, yet man told him that it was a friend in UK (named the kid in the child’s school)

who gave him numbers so they could all be friends. Horrified, I contacted SW Police and reported it online,

contacted the school – who got the safeguarding team on it and warned all the mums in our WhatsApp

group of the number to check for...

20/4/20

Police turned up to ask about the “Incident”. I repeated it all....and got sternly told by a stroppy WPC that

my 9 yr old shouldn’t have WhatsApp as its for over 16’s only. I advised her we as parents monitor the

phones, and they need each other – they use it for video chats while they play together...it’s all they have

and its hard on them. Plus, there’s no age limit to when a child can have access to a phone, and for all she

knew, it could have been my phone she was using....and she was contacted by her number...not via social

media (which we don’t allow for her). Sanctimonious bloody woman... even went on to say she only allowed

her 14 yo daughter a phone because of lockdown and her under 10 son does not have access to anything

except school sites. Now I feel sorry for her kids.

Furious....even Brian said it wasn’t worth my time reporting it for all the help they gave us. The school at

least acted well ...releasing updates across all the platforms about being approached online and reminding

kids of their school online safety lessons.

22/4/20

Fav meme quote so far

“you think shit’s bad now? In 20 years, the country is going to be run by kids who were home-

schooled by alcoholics”

23/4/20

Made mistake of looking at my muted groups...The child is not doing enough schoolwork by far!!!! Just

what I needed, extra pressure when I have no more give. I’m exhausted

25/4/20

Trump....that man is either delusional, hyper manipulative, or in the grip of dementia.

Disinfectant. Injected. UV lights. I have no words.

This however...is a thing of beauty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vdGjRM9HD8 Max Boyce – “When just the tide went out”

26/04/20

Feeling snowed under again!!!!!!! Tutor feedback is so basic, and I know they cant commit to written

comments, and I know he can’t say where I need to cut my word count etc....but its bloody infuriating!

Muted all my groups for another week. I have also told them why, and they are super lovely about it all –

it’s like having my own personal cheerleading squad.

Feel like I’ve been ignoring all the hard work Brian and kids been doing in the garden.

27/4/20

SIL has tested Covid positive. Was only a matter of time I think...she’s frontline NHS – healthcare assistant

and has 4 kids. Fortunately, she is only feeling like she has a heavy cold...headache, no energy and bit of

a cough.

28/4/20

Edited first essay into its final draft and finished second one for review...there is nothing else in my life at

the moment. Sent over to the tutor, now to face Lidl again! I swear my family are descended from biblical

locusts!!!

3 hrs of hell...just for food and laundry products! Everything has gone up in price...we usually spend about

£380 a month on essentials (£280 Lidl, £100 in Home Bargains) and another £100 or so topping up milk,

and fresh fruit/veg when needed (Lidl again). I spent nearly £500 in one go (£305 Lidl, £180 Home

Bargains)...and we will still need the fresh top ups too, so that will be at least another £100, if not more .

Got my tutor feedback. More word hacking required. I’ve almost lost the will to live....

Brian gone back to his old habit of verbally abusing me from the other side of the room...asking how many

more years the cold war will last (he means when will I finish my “school work” get my qualification, and can

sit on the sofa next to him in the evenings not fretting).

29/4/20

The child still refusing about 90% of the schoolwork set for her, preferring art, reading a bit and working on

sumdog (maths website for school). Refusing to interact with Oxford reading buddy – “those stories are

crap” lovely choice of words there, will need to remind teen to watch her vernacular....

I have a new fav word meme

“Check on your friends with strong-willed daughters......We are not OK”

30/4/20

Blind panic...tomorrow is the exam, and I have spent even more time trimming and rewording sections of

my essays. Word blind, senseless – I don’t even have a second pair of eyes to look over it that

understands the topic I need to discuss!!!! All I know is I need to discuss CSR in relation to a company that

enters a poorer economy for manufacturing – the country is the one I selected for a prior assignment

(Indonesia for me) and I need theory, examples and proposals for my fake electronics company.

Part 2 is about the automotive industry in the host country and how my fake company could diversify from

audio visual into automotive with examples and current trend analysis!

I think I may well be truly ****ed

May 2020

1/5/20

Todays the day....I have warned everyone not to speak to me, come near me or even offer me a cup of tea

before 12 noon!!!!!!

Time to log on....

Well....I’ve completed it. Made several adjustments during the 3 hours, and think I blew the word count up

again because of it

Gone online, ordered posh gin to cheer myself up. Be here by Sunday....if my brain lasts that long, there’s

plenty of alcohol here to pickle me well before then.

Went back on to my group chats...found the corona dictionary fun.

2/5/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5tDjlQFzHE&t=5s Tata Steel Port Talbot – “Sweet NHS”