Corona Diaries

Owen

“I’m also finding this CoronaDiary helpful as it gets me to marshal my thought and also something external

that “needs” to be done each day. I say “needs” as it’s voluntary and there’s no penalty from dropping out,

but I think it’s a valuable project and I want to honour my commitment to it.”

Background Information

Male, aged 45-54, Currently Unemployed due to Disability, Oxfordshire, White, Married to Sarah [a

care worker], Stepfather to Bobbie, Grandfather to Beth [6], Oliver [3] and Andrew [2].

April 2020

Tuesday 21/04/2020 – 15:04

I've finally managed to sort out signing the consent form to take part in this CoronaDiaries project and so it

seemed the ideal time to start.

I suppose I should start with the "Why?". I read about the research project on the BBC News website and

decided to look up the project and email to see if they were still looking for volunteers. I assumed that I

would get an auto-reply saying that there had been lots of interest since the news story and they had

enough participants. Obviously, that didn't happen or this document wouldn't exist! I suppose¹ it's now

easier to store large amounts of data and the more people who take part the more valuable the resource

they create. Which brings me on to the why. I've always had an interest in history, probably because both

my parents were and I'm an only child who spent holidays visiting castles churches and battlefields. I've

seen several fascinating documentaries that have drawn from the archive this project has been inspired by

- diaries kept by people during WWII. It's the small, fine detail I always seem to find the most interesting.

Beyond the official statics and broad brush strokes telling the story of the country as a whole, listening to

the incidental detail can give a better insight.

Lockdown

It's been about three weeks since we were asked to stay at home if at all possible. I was glad to hear news

of the move as I'd thought we had already taken too long to take decisive action. The previous week,

people had been asked to try and limit social distancing and at the same time people like the owner of

Weatherspoon (may add his name later 'cos can't remember) speculated you'd be unlikely to catch the

virus in a pub. As it happens, I saw an item on CNN last night regarding some research from Hong Kong,

which traced the infections caused by one carrier when they visited a restaurant. People on the five closest

tables became infected (although, I did wonder if they could show whether they had been infected at or

prior to visiting the restaurant). So, if asked I'd be totally behind continuing the restrictions for now.

The hardest part for me personally has been not seeing my stepdaughter (Bobbie - 32) and her three

children. Beth will soon be 6, Oliver who turned 3 in January and Andrew who will be 2 in May. My wife

Sarah (59) and I are lucky grandparents as we get to see them all at least three times a week and often

more. I suffer from chronic pain in my shoulders, hips and knees as well as depression and anxiety, so

can't work and don't tend to go out much. But, we'd go over to see Bobbie and the kids and when I'm

having a good day on a Friday, I go with Bobbie and Andrew to a local baby & toddler group. I try not to use

it, but I've a wheelchair (the kind with 4 smaller wheels that needs to be pushed) which I can use when we

go on local outings like Blenheim Palace or one of the wildlife parks. Although I would normally only leave

the house maybe once or twice in a good week and not at all if I'm in a lot of pain, not having the option

does make a massive psychological difference.

The Sunday before the lockdown began, Beth was supposed to be having a sleep over here as she wasn't

at school on the Monday. I had to cancel as I wasn't feeling good at all. Beth understands that I can't

always play with her, but naturally tries to push the limits, I don't like to let her down, so do more than I

should and pay for it for days afterwards. Missing that visit and hearing that Beth was really upset about it

has been playing on my mind as the amount of time we'll be apart seems to stretch out.

I've always been interested in science and part of my coping mechanism for all this is to get informed about

what's happening. Like most people, I suppose I'd assumed the initial three week restrictions would get

extended but, by then, they'd be some light at the end of the tunnel. But, the only reason we are starting to

see the number of infections dropping below R = 1 is because of our actions. There only appears to be two

options, which are an eventual, effective vaccine or enough testing and contact tracing to ensure any new

outbreaks are quickly snuffed out. A major issue with SARS-CoV-2 is the number of people that have it with

little or no symptoms. To find those cases will take a huge number of random tests and where positive an

invasion of privacy we are not used to in the UK.

General.

What else shall I add to this first entry?

Another thing I've had a problem with is toothache. In the interest of full disclosure, I should have gone a

few months ago as I've had a couple of intermittent issues. Last November I had an endoscopy because of

problems after having my gallbladder out and a day or so after, a chunk of tooth fell out. It had split whe re

I'd had a filling but was more annoying than painful. I'd also had a tooth fall out due to receding gums

(probably due to long term smoking) and every now and then I'd get a pain that feels a lot like "brain freeze"

(when you drink/eat something very cold too quickly) shooting up from a little above the missing tooth, up

through my cheek and eye and into the right temple. I'd not gone as NHS treatment costs around £60,

which is very cheap compared to the real cost, but still a large extra expense for us. I'd keep putting it off

and each month, something else cropped up that cost money, so it slipped further down the list.

Since lockdown, the broken tooth has snapped off level with the gum, which isn't painful, but it's very sharp;

the brain freeze feeling has become nearly constant and I have another loose tooth at the front which is

hurting. Dentists are not seeing patients because it's such a high risk of infection, especially when drilling

etc. The plan is to see patients at Urgent Dental Care (UDC) hubs at various locations around the country.

I've rung my dentist who advised they couldn't currently do anything and only call the 111 health care line if

my face becomes swollen. I wrote to my local MP (Victoria Prentis, Banbury, Conservative) who wrote back

today saying I should call 111. Also today I read an item on BBC News website saying that referral for UDC

should come from the dentist you are registered with. It also reported that some hubs haven't opened yet

due to the lack of Personal Protection Equipment (PPE). I fully understand that toothache isn't fatal, unlike

covid19 and there's a worldwide shortage of PPE right now. Fully understanding something doesn't stop it

from hurting though! I shall try 111 tomorrow.

NOTE

1. Editing. Normally when I'd edit something I've written I'd make quite a lot of changes. For example,

I've used "I suppose" twice in quick succession. But I've decided to leave this diary as written and

only correcting mistakes or making something easier to follow.

Wednesday 22/04/2020 – 20:36

It's definitely getting more difficult to keep track of the days! Each is so similar to the last in som e kind of

"Groundhog" type way.

I've been watching some American news coverage (Cable News Network (CNN)) over the course of the

pandemic, as it's interesting to see a different angle on the News, especially seeing reports from the UK as

"news from overseas". I guess it also helps to sometimes see the news from a greater distance. Our own

government was, in my opinion, late to act and it's continued insistence that they're doing a great job is just

adding insult to injury. I suspect they would get more public support with a "we're learning as we go.." type

approach. Let's just hope there will be an independent public enquiry as, with Climate Change, the chances

of a pandemic is increasing. Shrinking habitat, closer interactions between different species and even more

worrying, the melting permafrost with its potential to release long dormant pathogens into the environment.

Although, we are yet to see the report into Russian interference during the Brexit referendum and general

election.

President Trump is also still trying to divert attention from his handling of the crisis; this time by sabre

rattling at Iran, Tweeting that US Navy has now the authority to shoot at Iranian gunboats harassing their

ships. Any such action would, I'm sure, be seen as Iran as a declaration of war. Along with the United

Nations (UN) warning that large areas face famine of "biblical proportions", things are looking pretty grim!

At least this lockdown has happened after the widespread take up of video calls. Things would have

seemed even more distant has this been 20 years ago. We had a long video call with Bobbie and the

Grandkids today. Bobbie’s struggling a little with the home schooling for Beth. Partly it's having Oliver and

Andrew to occupy at the same time and, she freely admits, it’s partly just down to temperament, finding it

difficult not to get frustrated when Beth guesses at something rather than think it through. I'm glad the

children are so young as this will hopefully have less effect on their education than for many others. I know,

I'd have done no home schooling had I needed to as a teenager! It wasn't until my 20's I found a joy in

learning - doing some A level equivalents, then going to University as a mature student of 27. I started

doing a joint Law & Philosophy degree, but dropped the law part towards the end of the first year as I found

law far too frustrating. I was more interested in looking at what was wrong with the legal system, rather than

the system itself. I did start a MA in Philosophy of Mind after graduation, but Mum became ill, I took time off

to nurse her through terminal cancer and never got round to going back. It's something I'd like to do, but

grants and such like are a thing of the past. I was lucky, starting at uni just as they started to phase out

grants in favour of loans and before tuition fees. I left with a modest student loan and as I've never earned

above the payback threshold, it vanished when I turned 50.

Which reminds me of something else I should maybe include by way of introduction and my reasons for

wanting to take part in this project. I decided quite early that I wasn't going to have children (certainly by

age 21). Part of the reason was a belief that the future probably wasn't going to be as good as the rece nt

past and partly it was because I didn't want to pass on, frankly bad genetics! I've never had a huge family.

I'm an only child, both my parents were also only children. Of my grandparents generation, apart from my 4

grandparents, only one other of their collective sibling had children. That makes my nearest living relative a

second cousin, who genetically speaking are no more likely to share genes than any other person of a

similar background. I've suffered from depression most of my life, dad committed suicide when I was 20

and Mum discovered a breast lump but hid it until she knew it was far too late to treat. When I asked her

why, she said that she wasn't interested in getting old and had had enough of being alive. Her own mum

did the exactly the same (I was 6 or 7 at the time) and one of my Dad's uncle's hung himself. So, even if the

link between genetics and depression has yet to be 100% proved, it just didn't seem like a particularly good

family line to continue. I mention all this because, it struck me today that one of the appeals of taking part in

this project is that it offers a certain form of immortality. I'm not remotely religious and so view the time after

death as being just the same as it was before I was born, just much, much longer… Who knows what data

will be extracted from this archive over time? It may give insights into things we aren't even aware of yet,

which is pretty cool. The only other thing I've done that may be achieved after I've gone is a couple of

articles I've written for BBC Sky at Night magazine and a few book reviews. It's also why I'm so thankful at

having a family by marriage. Bobbie was 17 when Sarah and I got together and we have always had a

great relationship. She also paid me a huge compliment with the naming of the various grandparents of a

modern family; I'm called Grandad (or "proper grandad", if the kids are asking which of us she means) with

her biological dad named after villainous character from a children’s TV show (from Ben & Holly's Little

Kingdom cartoon show) and great-grandad Grumpy Patrick.

In general, I'm beginning to suspect that ideas of going back to "before the Coronavirus" are wrong.

Thinking back to how things were just a couple of months ago, it will take a long time before that sort of

social interaction starts again. Then there are the knock on effects on economies and the whole global

trade system. We have yet to see what will happen should this virus really take hold in the poorest

countries. Food is going unpicked and there's always the chance that of a few extreme weather events this

year, making things worse. Will we see mass migration as people move from affected areas looking for

help. In America, Trump is in an election year and depends on a strong economy for much of his support.

The pressure to open up business is too strong for him to resist.

As I write this I have CNN on in the background, with more news that the drug Trump has been pushing for

weeks, Hydroxychloroquine, isn't the wonder drug to treat covid19 he thought. The time is now 22:12, so I

write quite slowly. That's down to the chronic pain I get in my joints. Having a tablet on a rest, so I can type

with only my thumbs as well as speech to text notes really help, compared to a computer keyboard. CNN is

also saying the first US death was in California on 6 February, which was before the travel ban was brought

into action. I think that ban gave a real false sense of security. More than 40K people still travelled from

China and the virus was probably already in the USA. I'm also confused as to why UK airports are still open

with direct flights from hotspots like New York? I hope all travelers are being careful and self isolating when

they get to their destination.

Which reminds me of a news item I read about a couple who, a couple of years ago, sold up, bought a

yacht and took to sailing the seas. They had heard some early reports about Coronavirus when they

restocked in early February, but we're out of contact for weeks as they made a long voyage towards the

Virgin Islands. They were surprised when permission to dock was refused, but assumed that it was an over

cautious Island nation who didn't want the risk of independent tourists coming ashore and so decided to

head back to their home port in France. The full horror of what has happened became clear as they neared

Europe and re-established contact with the outside world. Apparently there were some concerns from the

French authorities, but the yachts GPS log showed they had been isolated for weeks. It's been alarming

enough to see this pandemic develop over weeks, to learn about it all at once must be mind numbing.

I've been reading a bit more than I have recently. I sway between being a bookworm and not reading much

at all. When I first became interested in philosophy I read voraciously for years. Again, when I decided I

wanted to know how Apollo had got to the Moon, it became fairly full on, to the point I ended up writing

articles about the missions. I enjoy science but worry about the rise of antiscientific religious views and

pseudoscience. Usually my distaste is tempered by recognising people's right to believe what they like

unless it harms others. As a "philosopher" I'm also rather adverse to absolutes. I'm pretty darn sure there

are no fairies at the bottom of the garden, but admit the possibility that we are yet to discover some

phenomenon that explains what has been described as "fairies". It's vanishingly unlikely, but possibly not

completely physically impossible.

I've long been interested in astronomy, since watch Sir Patrick Moore on Sky at Night with my dad. It was a

rare occasion as it was usually on late at night, but with the Apollo era, I'd get to see the odd episode.

Before it got too painful due to chronic pain, I used an 8" Newtonian reflector as a backyard astronomer. I

especially enjoyed looking at the Moon and planets. I've noticed that since lockdown, the skies are clearer

and the air feels fresher. Usually we have a lot of contrails from high flying passenger jets overhead, which

can hang around, spread and merge into one. It could really spoil the view through the telescope, so I

guess people are having a better view at the moment.

I was saying what I am reading. My mix of interests means I sometimes watch those "documentaries" about

UFOs. My own view is that, whatever people might have seen, craft from other planets is pretty low on the

list of possibilities. I watch such programs to see what tricks and sleight of hand they use to make the most

of what they view as evidence. Anyway, this episode was listing the titles of some early books from those

who claimed to have had close contact with alien craft. I paused the show, got a pen and paper and wrote

down the title of the next book they mentioned. It happened to be "Flying Saucer From Mars" by Cedric

Allingham - 1954. A quick search on Amazon Market Place and I'd ordered a cheap second hand copy, out

of curiosity. What turned out to be especially "odd" was, as soon as I opened it and looked at the

frontispiece photo of the author next to his telescope, I recognised the 'scope. It was very obviously one of

those owned by Patrick Moore! Looking online, I discovered many other people had noticed, but Patrick

refused to comment. It seems he'd written it to take the Mickey out of the UFOers before he became a well

known household name. By chance I'd also decided I wanted to know how the space age changed our

understanding of astronomy in general and the Solar System in particular. It occurred to me that Moore had

written about both from the mid 1950's, almost until he died. How books about the Moon and Mars had

been in constant print all that time, so I bought various editions from different years to see how they

changed.

Back to what is being reported on CNN: some US States seem set on opening up before they meet the

required guidelines set out by the White House. I predict, if this goes ahead, it will lead to further spikes in

cases and sadly deaths. Reported figures from America right now are Total Cases 842,319 Deaths 45,399.

I wonder how accurate they are? Something else hindsight will show us. I'm kinda jealous for a moment

about some future researcher skimming through the CoronaDiaries, seeing this paragraph and looking up

the historical record of actual deaths by 22/04/20.

Time to stop and go on the Play Station 4 (PS4). I used to play a lot of games on PC, until it became too

expensive to keep up with the demands of keeping a gaming machine up to date. Now consoles have

come far enough to make them so much cheaper and easier and include some of the genres I enjoy. I've

been playing a lot of Red Dead Online (RDO) - the online part of Rockstar Games Red Dead Redemption

2. It's odd how quickly we adjust to new habits. I met up with an old friend in RDO recently and we suddenly

noticed our video characters were keeping apart as we chatted away! I've also been playing some

management games, Civilization 6 and Surviving Mars. Not sure what I'll play tonight, but here I go….

Thursday 23/04/2020 – 08:36

I was up too late last night. Partly because I spent a while starting a new game of Surviving Mars, a

management game where you use rovers to set up a base on Mars, followed by people living in domes.

The goal, as much as there is one, is to make your colony self sufficient so that doesn't need any resupply

from Earth.

It wouldn't have been that late at night had I not had a "a quick look" at CNN. I ended up watching

Anderson360 and part of Cuomo. I especially like Cuomo as he's the brother of the Governor of New York

State and the Gov. has seemed to do an excellent job managing coronavirus so far. I don't know anything

about his politics or record before the pandemic, but he has seemed open and honest, with a genuine

desire to try and keep party politics out of the immediate response to the crisis.

News from Iran isn't that cheering either. It seems Trump's tweet yesterday (about shooting Iranian

gunboats that get too close to US Navy ships) was a response to Iran launching their first military satellite.

With my keen interest in the space race (favorite period is from Sputnik 1 - 1957 until the joint USSR/USA

link up mission ASTP in 1975) it has echoes of the early launches. Of courses, anyone able to launch a

satellite has the ability to launch an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. At least in theory, although that

assumes they have got the hang of the tricky re-entry-without-burning-up issue.

One other thing that all this is highlighting is the extent to which manufacturing has been outsourced

overseas. Now we and many other countries are desperately in need of PPE, medicines and the chemicals

needed for test kits, part of the delay is because none of it is made here in the UK. Cheap labour,

especially in China and India has seen companies increase profits by moving production away from the UK.

There's now a huge demand along with disrupted supply lines and travel restrictions which is adding to

difficulties. Our government seems to have been dragging its feet when it comes to ramping up domestic

production where possible. I was also listening to Trump's press conference/party political broadcast last

night. Amongst the usual self congratulatory bullshit he was saying the USA is now producing so many

ventilators, he's sending some to hotspots in other countries. He mentioned a couple of EU countries, but

not the UK. So much for the "special relationship" that's going to get a favourable trade deal post bloody

Brexit. I'm strongly in favour of the EU and until coronavirus has deflected attention away from it, would

regularly rant about Brexit on Twitter. Especially the fact that an advisory vote was treated as though it was

binding. That means that the referendum result has no legal force, which means a court cannot overturn

the result. Even if video emerged showing Nigel Farage personally tampering with ballot papers, the result

would still stand. People who broke the election rules can be dealt with through the courts, but the result

still stands. To end the transition period at the end of the year, following the economic fallout from

coronavirus, is just irresponsible. But it will go ahead because the Brextremists think being "independent" is

worth any cost.

I wonder how all this will shake up the status quo? Some of the richest people are asking for government

aid to keep their businesses afloat, whilst the lowest paid are now recognised as essential workers. Will

that attitude continue after things start to settle down? There are calls for Dr and nurses to receive the

same £28 a day danger money that troops in a warzone get.

Oxford University is announcing the first human trials for a possible coronavirus vaccine. I hope they go

well and also hope the rush to find a vaccine doesn't lead to short cuts that put people at risk. Then there is

the antivaxxers. I'm usually happy to accept some people are going to believe some pretty whacky stuff, but

the antivax movement does a lot of harm. The Doctor who claimed a link between vaccination and autism

has a lot to answer for. It's a classic case of seeing a causal link when the only real link is chronological.

My wonderful wife Sarah is at work all day today. She works for a guy with cerebral palsy as a care

assistant. He has enough control of one arm to drive his power wheelchair and interacts with his computer

using two neck switches. He lives at home with his mum and stepdad and has two carers with him from

8:30 until bed at 22:00. I get on really well with him and Sarah has been working there for over a decade.

His mental abilities are hard to lump together and put an age on, but overall he's probably around the level

of a 9/10 year old. He loves music and thanks to the technology he has access to, he can control his

stereo, TV and has a speech synth that he uses to control Google assistant. He doesn't really fully

understand what's going on at the moment, other than his usual routine has gone. All his care team are

being extra careful as he struggles with a bad cold due his difficulties coughing, making it likely covid19

with symptoms would be bad news for him.

Again, the rolling news is on in the background and was just showing the start of the opening up of Wuhan.

They are taking the temperature of people entering some establishments, which strikes me as a fairly

fruitless task. One big issue is asymptomatic spread from those who, by definition, don't have a raised

temperature but are still infectious. There is also growing speculation as to whether the virus spreads to

humans from a live animal market or a research lab. There's no suggestion that the lab was doing anything

like biological weapons, but is reported to have been studying coronavirus in bats. Concerns have been

raised about the safety procedures in place with the possibility that someone became infected in the lab

and spread it to the community.

I'm also speechless at the Mayor of Las Vegas who is pushing for the city to reopen as soon as possible.

When asked what she proposed to do about ensuring social distancing in places like casinos, she said she

had no idea, but that was the responsibility of individual businesses to figure out. Coronavirus is certainly

going to highlight differences in the approach and attitudes in different countries. Fairly early on a

Government advisor here said that if the UK kept Coronavirus deaths below 20,000 it would be a "good

result". With the care home and community deaths not included in the daily figures, it's likely that we have

already passed that number and yet the government is still following, "we're doing a great job" narrative.

Yesterday's reported deaths in hospitals reached a total of 18,100.

Later that same day – 17:45

The news is full of more revelations about why the UK Government didn't take part in a European scheme

to buy up PPE back in the early days of the pandemic. It's looking more and more likely that the real reason

was Brexit and a general anti-EU feeling amongst those who should have known better. There's been a lot

of blustering and excuses about the email ending up in the spam folder and other nonsense. People were

playing with politics have been caught with their pants down when something that needed real political skill

came along.

I wonder how long it will be before there is a generally accepted narrative of the pandemic? As I've

mentioned, I've collected quite a few books from the 1950's onwards to see various snapshots of the space

race and have used this techniques with other things I'm interested in. I've noticed that the first books

about, for example Apollo 11, have more variation between them. Aside from the main details, different

authors concentrate on different specific incidents to tell the story. You get that a lot less with modern

books which tend to concentrate on the same details as each other.

I got a phone call from Beth a little earlier. She wanted to ring and tell me that she had lost her second milk

tooth and so will be leaving it under the pillow for the tooth fairy tonight. I'll have to ask Bobbie what the

going rate for a tooth is these days. Beth seems happy to still believe in Father Christmas, Easter Bunny &

the Tooth Fairy as she gets closer to her 6th birthday. I'm pretty sure that I didn't by that age. I seem to

remember seeing Dad creep in with my Christmas stocking when I was 4 and decided that if Santa wasn't

real, the same probably went for Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and God. I haven't really found a reason to

change my mind since. I say "seem to remember" as, with no one left around from when I was that age, I

can't cross check memories. There's no family gatherings to retell stories and although those shared

memories probably drifted from the reality of what happened, the retelling kept them alive. I'm noticing more

and more that memories from childhood are getting vaguer and I sometimes wonder if I'm confusing more

than one incident.

I've kept a diary a few times in my life, but never for more than a few months before something occurred so

I missed a day……

Friday 24/04/2020 – 01:45

(To me it's "late Thursday" rather than "early Friday - what with time being relative and all!)

My previous writing session was interrupted when Sarah came home from work and needed a hand putting

the bit of shopping she'd got away. She has also a few things Bobbie needed until she gets her online order

delivered by Asda. We also have some Easter Eggs to take over. Bobbie’s aunt Amanda dropped them

over this afternoon. I'm glad to say she kept her distance as, by the time I'd got to the front doors she was

already at the end of the drive. While I remember; apparently £1 is the going rate for a tooth, but Beth got a

bonus £1 for the first one. With three kids at 20 milk teeth each, that's £60 as they loose them, which

seems about right.

Saw an item in the news today about the first people in Europe to be given an experimental vaccine.

Developed in only 3 months, it takes a weakened 'flu (or cold, I forget) virus from a primate and diddle with

the DNA to get it to prompt an antibody response. It's being given (with ½ the volunteers getting a different

vaccination as a control) to front line NHS workers on the grounds that they are most likely to come into

contact with the virus. No one is being deliberately infected as there is no treatment and ethical issues

prevail. It's also possible that the experimental vaccine could provoke a more extreme response to SARS -

CoV-2, so they are certainly brave to take part. Let's hope it the trial goes well and there are positive results

at the end.

In this age of Fake News and conspiracy theories, there are naturally plenty linked to the coronavirus. The

most widespread of the whacky ones links the introduction of 5G cell towers and the spread of coronavirus.

Theories range from the virus being controlled by the 5G signal to the whole thing being a cover for 5G

directly attacking people. They generally ignore the fact that coronavirus is much more widespread than 5G

coverage! One guy I follow on Twitter (mainly for amusement as he firmly believes that the Earth is flat. I've

tried several times to offer various proofs that he's mistaken, but he simply weaves such appeals into his

web of conspiracy) has been sharing some of David Ickes stuff. It doesn't even begin to make any sort of

scientific sense and as some idiots have been setting fire to mobile phone cell masts, social media is

quickly removing harmful posts. This is, of course, censorship and yet more "proof" that he speaks the

truth. Again, I usually sigh and let people be (after all, I'm a member of the Church of the SubGenius and a

Discordian) but this is almost a wartime situation and I'm prepared to accept certain limits. As long as they

are for as short a time as possible and we keep a close eye to make sure information of public interest isn't

suppressed along the way.

As we are going to drop off the shopping and Easter Eggs at Bobbie’s tomorrow, we will no doubt spend

some time chatting through the front window. Last week Beth wanted me to have a little flower that was

growing on the lawn and pointed it out to me to pick and take home. She'd wanted to give me a toy to pass

back to her next time, but I explained that isn't possible right now. Back when all this seemed a long, long

way away, Sarah and I were taking Beth back home after her dad had dropped her off with us. I usually sit

in the back with Beth so we can chat without feeling car sick by keep looking back. There was starting to be

more worrying news coming from Italy and so, when the news came on the radio, I quickly asked Sarah to

turn over so news of deaths wouldn't upset little ears. As soon as I said it, Beth quickly asked "Is that

because they are talking about coronavirus grandad?". The school had been talking to them about it and

had already introduced more frequent hand washing. I remember her hands became sore really quickly,

from all the extra water.

Again, CNN is on in the background and initial antibody testing in New York State suggests that as many

as 20% of people in New York City have been exposed to the virus. It seems that infections have been

more widespread and for longer than initially thought. It also means that there are a lot of people who had

mild or no symptoms, making them more likely to carry on with their lives and spread it around.

Thinking about possible mutations of coronavirus, I've heard a couple of scientists quite anthropomorphic

about it. Of course, any mutation happens in a random person and during strict social distancing it's unlikely

to spread to many new hosts. The current virus seems to be better at infecting the upper respiratory tract

compared to SARS, which generally infected the lungs. This gives it two advantages. Being high up, it's

easy to shed the virus by sneezing, coughing and even talking. It also take a while to make people ill,

increasing the time they are up and about, spreading. SARS tended to make people sick enough to know

they had it quickly and so they knew they needed to isolate. Should a mutation make the virus more deadly,

it doesn't really give it much of an advantage which hopefully makes it less likely to take hold.

Well, it is now 02:30 and I'm tired. Sarah is off tomorrow so there's no need to get up early. As it is Friday,

I'll send off the first instalment of this CoronaDiary. I change my painkiller patch on a Friday, making it

easier to remember. I'll have to have a quick read through as I sometimes type quite quickly and often take

a break. Both of these can interrupt the flow and make a sentence change tense half way through.

Later that same day – 20:10

We took some shopping over to Bobbies after lunch today, getting over to Steeple Aston about half past

One. Andrew looked especially cute as he ran to the gate, wrapped in a dinosaur towel. As the weather has

been hot again, Bobbie had the paddling pool out in the back garden. She quickly shooed the children into

the front room so we could chat through the front window. With the top window slightly open, we can hear

each other without getting close. For some reason, Andrew has started to call me daddy. He had been

calling me “Dangdad”, but today he kept saying daddy no matter how many times I corrected him.

Oliver was busy playing with his cars, but brought things close to the window now and then to show us.

Beth had painted us a rainbow picture with the words “Stay Home” above it, to put in the window as part of

the “Rainbow Trail” that has sprung up in lots of places. It’s nice to see them in windows as you drive about

and there are some quite large rainbows and tributes to the NHS painted on bedsheets and hung between

upstairs windows.

I’m trying out an old Bluetooth mini QWERTY keyboard for a change this evening. Its easy to type with just

my thumbs on the onscreen keyboard, but the comma key is right in the lower left corner and my left thumb

has felt the strain of writing that way for longer than usual. Most video games use the left stick on the

controller to move and I’ve noticed that it gets sore if I play too long.

Boris Johnson seems to have been out of the public eye for quite a while now. It makes me wonder if he is

still worse than reports have suggested. I also read a news item reporting that Dominic Cummings has

been part of the SAGE committee of experts that have advised the government throughout. It’s supposed

to be purely scientific, so I dread to think what role he's had.

Feeling tired today, so I shall end this first part of my CoronaDiaries here and begin again tomorrow….

SATURDAY 25/04/20 – 00:15

I’ve just sent off the first part of my diary for this project to Mike Ward at Swansea University and so thought

I’d create the file for the next installment. I can’t decide if I prefer working in Google Docs and then creating

a .docx file to attach to my email, or if I’m getting used to just using Word again. I had uninstalled it from my

tablet as I was a little low on space, but it makes it easier to send an actual attachment, rather than a link to

a file in cloud storage.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 01:05

I was just messing about to see how easy it is to insert the occasional picture into this document and went

with a fairly recent one of the three Grandchildren.

From left to right; Andrew, Beth and Oliver having a rest in a field near their home, on one of their socially

distanced walks. Picture removed for anonymity.

As per, I have CNN on in the background while I’ve been pottering about and Trump really seems to have

caused a stir with his latest ramblings at one of his news conferences. He’d seen a report about how long

the virus lives on surfaces. It noted that light reduces the time and particularly sunlight. It also pointed out

the disinfectant was even more effective. Trump spent a while yesterday thinking aloud about how this

could be used in people. He spoke about shining powerful UV lights on people or even inside them; either

through the skin or through “some other way”. The president continued to wonder if you could inject

disinfectant into people and looked over to his science advisors, suggesting they should look in to it. He

was obviously just speaking off the cuff.

Today he's claiming it was a sarcastic question aimed at a reporter, which is nonsense. We know he really

hates to think people are laughing at him and there have been a few today. So much so, he didn’t take any

questions at all at today’s press conference. The makers of Lysol have felt it necessary to issue a warning

against ingesting disinfectant in any way! Whilst laughable, he’s also got a lot of people who completely

adore him and take everything he says at face value. How can such a person get elected to president of

one of the strongest countries in the world? I remember I was having a course of Cognitive Analytical

Therapy (CAT) a few years ago, when Trump first declared his intention to stand. I’d mentioned the thought

of him getting into the White House was one of the reasons I was feeling so bleak about the future. The

therapist said something to the effect “Oh, that will never happen……. Will it?”.

This is definitely part of my pandemic coping mechanism. Watching the story unfold in America more than

in the UK does give it a sense of distance for a while. When I hear of things going badly here, it makes me

more angry. Like the governments insistence that we will end the Brexit transition period at the end of the

year, which will likely mean we will crash out and trade under WTO rules. The country will be suffering

enough from the effects of coronavirus and the lockdown, without Brexit too. Hearing Dominic Cummings is

involved in SAGE says a lot about the late response to coronavirus from our government. He'd have been

full of “heard immunity” ideas and no doubt calculating the savings that would be made if X number of

pensioners die Y years early because they had covid19. In my opinion, he's far to close to the eugenics

movement of a century ago for my liking.

More news about Captain Crozier who lost his post on the US Roosevelt when he raised concerns about

an outbreak of coronavirus on his ship. Because it was leaked (not by him) it caused a lot of

embarrassment and he was quickly replaced. Now more than 800 sailors have tested positive on the

aircraft carrier, it seems he had a very good point. The question is; what went wrong with the normal

procedures that drove him to risk his career by writing the letter in the first place. A top Admiral has now

recommended that he be reinstated.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 03:30

I don’t seem to be able to settle down to sleep tonight, so I got back up for a smoke and a cup of tea. I was

thinking again about the WWII diaries that inspired this project and how a lot of the interest from a social

history point of view, comes from the little incidentals. The bits the participants included without a thought

due there familiarity, but stand out as we look back. As I’ve mentioned, I never had a huge family as a child,

but Christmas gatherings would include my Mum’s mum (Nana), Dad’s parents (Grandma & Granddad) as

well as my Grandmas three older sisters, Ruby, Verity and Beatrice. Although they were my great aunts, I

only ever called them that if I was being cheeky. Aunt Ruby had always wanted a family but wasn’t able to.

I think she had got divorced in a time when such things weren’t openly discussed. Aunt Vi was very

religious and had spent some years as a nun. Although she had left by the time I was born, she always

remained single, wearing the wedding ring symbolizing her marriage to God (or is it Jesus?). Aunt Beatrice

was the oldest (my Grandma was a good few years younger than all of them) and had also been married

but her husband died suddenly when fairly young. He died reading the morning paper and Aunt Beatrice

came back in the room, chatting away, to find him dead. She never had any other relationships and so was

also childless. What amazes me is that I remember Aunt Beatrice talking about one of her earliest

memories when she was around 4 or 5 years old. She'd seen Queen Victoria funeral possession and had a

couple of keep sakes from the day. One was a thin paper napkin with details of the day printed on it.

Technology has advanced so much between then and now and at such an increasing pace, it makes me

wonder what my grandkids will be doing when they are in their 50’s?

Perhaps the shake up this pandemic has given the world will make a difference. It doesn’t seem right that a

few individuals can accumulate more wealth than quite a few countries. Elon Musk is currently busy

launching his swarms of Starlink satellites to provide broadband internet coverage from space. There’s

currently 420 in orbit and a planned constellation of 12,000. The problem with them is they form chains of

lights moving quickly across the night sky. Light pollution is a big enough issue for most astronomers and

these will be especially tough for astrophotography’s to deal with.

People are noticing how different the air smells with less pollution. The NHS has become even more loved

than it was before. Any attempt to sell bits off to US companies as part of a trade deal will not go down at

all well. Oil prices actually went negative for a while, as storage runs out and producers are trying to offload

it to anyone that can take the stuff away. One of my oldest friends (from the age of 14) Rick has spent most

of his working life building up a company providing IT solutions to the gas industry. He hasn’t gone into

details when we've chatted whilst playing RDO, but the little he has said makes me think this has wiped

years worth of value from the company. I’m sure he'll be ok personally as he's careful enough to make sure

that the family will be fine, but it will probably see the end of his ideas of selling up and cashing out. It would

have meant a nice retirement, with enough left over to set up his two children. The fact that he has put in

the hours over the years, travelling away from home and having a lot of responsibility, thinking that it would

probably lead to a bonus payout when he sold his stake must be a bit tough to swallow. It’s now 04:25 BST

and I guess I should again try and go to sleep.

I do sometimes have some difficulty sleeping – partly due to the joint pain waking me up when I move and

partly, not being able to get to sleep when I’m feeling down or tense. Seeing the grandkids is always lovely,

but it does just make you want to give them all a huge hug. Giving Andrew his goodnight bottle, Oliver

edging closer and pulling my arm round him as he settles down to watch a film. Beth makes herself small to

try and get on my lap like she’s a baby. Beth and I have always been really close. Her and Bobbie lived

here from just before Beth was born until a little before her second birthday. I don’t get bored quickly and

don’t mind repeatedly playing out then same scene over and over, which young children just love to do.

We've a variety of games and activities we've created. The stuffed toys become “The Naughty Gang” as

Beth, Mr. Man (a largish glove puppet that some unkind people have suggested looks a little bit like me!)

and myself battle their nefarious plans.

Whilst talking about Beth, I thought I’d add a photo of the picture she painted for our window. Lettering by

Bobbie I suspect!

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 15:30

I didn’t get very much sleep at all last night. Partly, I think, because I’m missing having proper interaction

with the grandkids and part because I was snacking quite a lot yesterday and think I rather over did it.

Since having my gallbladder out a couple of years ago because it was packed full of stones, I still get pain

in the same area if I eat too much fat. I’d had a couple of toasted bagels with too much butter and peanut

butter followed by a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

Sarah is at work this afternoon and evening so it’s just me and the cats at home. I’m currently enjoying the

warm sunshine and having a smoke in the back garden as I write this. The lawn really needs cutting as it’s

starting to get long enough to make it a pain to run the lawn mover over it. I’ve been in pain and Sarah has

been working more hours to cover the shifts of one of the care team who is self isolating. Normally, Bobbie

would help out, but that’s just not possible at the moment. Looking about the garden, I’ve suddenly noticed

that the kids swing is missing! Their dad, Neil (32, I think) came round yesterday to take it down, but didn ’t

have the right tools. He must have come back this morning, while I was still in bed. At least Beth and Oliver

will get some use out of it if it’s in their garden rather than ours. I know Bobbie will be strict about following

the distancing rules as he puts it back together. Bobbie has a swing with a baby type seat for Andrew, but it

tends to cause arguments because the other two can’t fit on it.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 22:00

It was on 17th March that Sir Patrick Vallance and others from NHS England said that, if the UK managed

to keep deaths down to under 20,000 it would be a “good result”. The official death toll that day stood at 71

and now we are past 20,000 deaths reported in hospitals. The actual number is likely to be higher as some

Doctors have reported being pressured to leave Covid19 off the death certificate if possible and the current

numbers don’t include those who died out in the community or in care homes. There’s been some of the

usual spiel to point out that some of those people may have died anyway over that period of time. But even

what that is the case and covid19 made a difference in days or weeks rather than years, those families still

had to have funerals under the social distancing rules.

I’ve also heard that someone I know vaguely (a friend of the son of a neighbour – I’ve met him a few times)

committed suicide this week. Whether or not the current crisis had a part to play, I don’t know. It seems

reasonable to assume that the added stress and the disruption to his routine and support network must

have added to what happened. There’s also been talk on the BBC news about the rise in deaths from other

causes as people avoid going to hospital or calling 999. I don’t know if this lad would have tried to get any

help, but I can’t imagine it’s got any easier to access help. I wonder how many of those not going to

hospital, when the normally would have done, are doing so because they don’t want to add any more strain

to the NHS and how many fear catching the virus if they go? Personally speaking, I know I’ve been putting

off calling 111 about my toothache because of the resources it will use. These UDC hubs will either have to

test patients to see if they are clear, or use more PPE and have to clean down the chair etc. between

patients.

The WHO is reporting that there isn’t any evidence to suggest that having had Covid19 offers protection

from catching it again. That has to be quite bad news if true. One long term solution that has been

mentioned is the idea of “herd immunity” to stop future outbreaks. Apparently, once around 60%/70% of the

population has been exposed (and has immunity) it becomes unlikely that you will see exponential growth

from new cases.

In America, the State of Georgia is one of the places opening up, despite a continuing rise in the number of

cases. Shops like hairdressers, tattoo shops, small businesses have been allowed to open. The reports I’ve

seen have shown workers wearing masks and trying to keep their distance. It seems a dangerous

experiment, but how do we run an economy with everyone staying at home? I’ve long been a supporter of

the idea of a Universal Basic Income, with a redistribution of wealth from the ultra wealthy and their

multinational corporations to the people who made them rich in the first place. Looking at some of the

giants like Amazon, Apple, Facebook etc., they have a hint of the “dark, satanic mills” to me. Big changes in

society followed both World Wars and this pandemic does have some similarities. There is a sense of being

at a crossroads in history at the moment. A major upset that has the chance of rearranging society,

probably in ways that won’t be obvious until some time has passed and we can trace any changes back to

what’s going on now.

Something CNN just pointed out about the news about the lack of immunity even if you have antibodies. If

you have got through the disease once ok, you should be able to cope with it if you happen to catch it

again.

SUNDAY 26/04/20 – 14:00

Well, President Trump seems to have spat out his dummy after becoming a laughing stock for his ideas of

using UV light and disinfectant to treat covid19 patients. The Guardian reprinted one of his tweets:

“What is the purpose of having White House News Conferences when the Lamestream Media [sic] asks

nothing but hostile questions, & then refuses to report the truth or facts accurately,” he wrote. “They get

record ratings, & the American people get nothing but Fake News. Not worth the time & effort!” 11:01 pm

Apr 25th 2020 – Twitter @realDonaldTrump – Report: Guardian 25/4/20

It has also been reported that Trump has unfollowed Piers Morgan, who has often been a vocal supporter

of the president, on Twitter following an article Piers wrote, describing his comments as “Batshit crazy”.

I remember when there was disagreement about the American budget about a year ago, with parts of the

Federal government shutting down for a while until the funding was agreed. I hadn’t come across the word

“furlough” before and had to look it up. Now, it’s a common phrase used when talking about how

companies can manage whilst lockdown is in place.

Here, Boris Johnson is set to return to work tomorrow, two weeks after he left hospital. There has been

speculation that the government has been reluctant to take any major decisions in his absence, which may

go to show how little the idea of Cabinet “collective responsibility” means these days. We seem to be

heading for an a more Presidential system, rather than the whole Cabinet approach we are supposed to

use here.

That reminds me of a disagreement I had with someone called SecretBarrister on Twitter. He had posted

saying the social distancing rules weren’t the same as laws and so it was incorrect to say that anyone

breaking the rules was also breaking the law. I pointed out that the emergency legislation The Coronavirus

Act 2020 Section 52 clearly states that it is an offense not to follow the directions of a police officer who is

ensuring the guidance issued by Ministers is being followed. There’s no need for the individual guidelines to

be passed into law as they change. He's gone quiet since I pointed that out and followed it up with links to a

few articles on the subject – I suspect he just blocked me! The measures really are designed to give the

Government a lot of power and in normal circumstances I would be very much against such a power grab

by Parliament. I can see the need for such legislation at the moment and I’m glad the opposition parties

managed to add the clause that allows for the Coronavirus Act to be reviewed every 6 months. I will be

keeping a close eye on how things develop if it looks like measures are being kept in place for political

rather than medical reasons.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 17:30

I’ve just been looking through the summary of today’s daily coronavirus briefing. The total number of deaths

in hospitals now stands at 20,732. Farmers are having problems getting enough people to pick crops as

they are usually heavily dependent on migrant workers. Their numbers are down due to both coronavirus

and Brexit. It’s showing up how bad their employment conditions have been because of the difficulties

recruiting others to do the job. They often require people to live on site in very basic accommodations,

which I’ve read has put people off taking up jobs. The very first job I had when I left school was casual work

picking potatoes on a local farm. It was back breaking work, kneeling in mud, picking out the potatoes from

the channel the farmer had dug with the tractor. Every now and then, you’d pick up a rotten potato and your

fingers would just go through it, releasing a vile smell. We worked from 7:00 until 12:00 and Rick and I

spent most of our daily earnings in the pub during the afternoon (despite being under age)

It’s been another hot day and another day where we didn’t get round to cutting the lawn in the back garden.

We spoke to Bobbie earlier and Oliver and Beth are really enjoying having the bigger swing round there.

Her neighbour is doing some shopping for her today. Being a single parent, Bobbie gets vouchers for fruit

and vegetables which her neighbour is going to get for her. Bobbie has been really good at making things

like strawberries as much of a treat as chocolate and sweets. The kids love most fruit, especially melon at

the moment.

I’m not really in the mood to write much at the moment. I wouldn’t say I’m having a “bad day” but I am

feeling a little down and unsettled. I think I shall escape the real world and visit the Wild West in RDO for a

while.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 23:30

Definitely not feeling quite right today, mood wise. I think all the uncertainty has a lot to do with it. As I have

mentioned, I used to be less bothered about the future until I had grandchildren. But, with them around, I’m

not able to keep that same, slightly smug, sense of detachment. I wonder how trade will restart? The USA

Federal Debt is forecast to be 101% of GDP by the end of the year. A 35% downturn has been talked about

here, and that’s before you add in the nightmare of Brexit. I guess Beth will grow up with vague memories

of the lockdown, but the two boys are probably too young to remember.

MONDAY 27/04/20 – 19:15

Boris Johnson returned to work today. It’s been a lot cooler today, which puts a bit more stress on Bobbie

as the kids can’t run off all their pent up energy outside and so she is less able to get on with other things.

Sarah phoned Bobbie earlier today and she says she is a little worried about being a bit agoraphobic when

she finally gets to go out. She bundled the kids into the car to take a load of stuff to the recycling point in

her village and said it felt very strange to be out. I suspect a lot of people will feel the same, although the

Government are still resisting to be drawn on the exit plan. Figures seem to show that the peak for both

new hospital admissions and deaths has now passed, but any sudden return to normality risks a second

wave and a whole new lockdown. In a new addition to the Daily Briefings from Downing Street, every day a

question will be selected from a member of the public (from those submitted to YouGov) to open up the

questions, before the journalists get to ask theirs. A woman asked when she would be able to hug her

Grandchildren again? There wasn’t a straight answer, with the usual reply that opening up depends on the

science and the worse thing we can do is rush.

There has been speculation in some of the newspapers about an “expanding social bubble” where people

would be allow to socialize with a small group of family or friends. Everyone within the group would have to

have the same group to reduce the chance of spreading infection – like an extended household. The

problem would be, how to police it? Would people follow the rules? The restrictions seem to still have public

support here, but there are increasing numbers of protests in America. There’s speculation that they are

being organised by conservative groups who support Trump. There have certainly been a lot of MAGA hats

and Trump banners visible at the events.

Here’s how the BBC News summarised the rest of today’s briefing.

What were the key announcements and talking points from today's UK government briefing? *The families

of NHS and social care workers who have lost loved ones to coronavirus will be entitled to a £60,000

payment. *The special life assurance scheme will apply to foreign workers and those who have return ed

from retirement. *Health Secretary Matt Hancock said the UK was “on track” to meet its target of 100,000

tests by the end of the month. *Chief Medical Officer Prof Chris Whitty said the number of cases is

stabilising and the number of people in intensive care falling but he was "very cautious" about predicting

future trends and death rates. *The health secretary appealed to those with other serious illnesses to seek

help, announcing the phased restart of previously cancelled hospital procedures, starting on Tuesday with

cancer care.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 21:30

One thing that does stand out from the news briefing is the life assurance scheme for front line medical

workers. Bereaved families will be entitled to £60,000, which while it in no way replaces their loss, does buy

them some time. There was also a further call for those with potentially serious medical conditions to seek

help, with a rising number of the excess death coming from those who didn’t go to A&E or ring 999. We

went out this afternoon about 4ish. Sarah went into the corner shop to buy some cat food and top up the

electricity card. We then drove past the chemist and as there wasn’t a cue, stopped to pick up my repeat

prescription. Last time I went it took ages to even get into the shop, so it was nice to just be able to walk in.

I asked if they had any news about the regional dental centers, but they didn’t. When I email to ask for my

next repeat prescription, I'll ask if they will do the whole lot at once, rather than picking each up as it

becomes due. That way we can decrease the number of trips to the chemists. Trump has continued his

Twitter rants today, talking about striping the “Noble” (meaning Nobel) prizes to reporters that write “Fake

News” (meaning anything that casts him in a bad light). He seems to be confusing the Nobel Prize with the

Pulitzer Prize awarded to journalists. It’s a dangerous game to play as it allows his supporters to dismiss

any negative coverage as fake. It’s not a new tactic, the Nazis used it to great effect as they rose to power,

but it does seem to be everywhere these days. Even our Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has actively

spread fake news for his own political ends. He wrote that the EU was planning to ban Prawn Cocktail

flavor crisps! It was based on a mistake that was made here in the UK. The EU asked member states to

submit a list of additives they wanted to have tested for inclusion on the official list. The prawn cocktail

flavor has been left of the British submission and so it didn’t appear on the draft EU list of approved

additives. Although the issue was quickly resolved, Boris still used it as the sliver of fact in an otherwise

fanciful story designed to make the EU look bad. “How dare they tell us what to eat….” anti-EU nonsense.

When we got back from shopping, Sarah spent a couple of hours playing World of Warcraft on the laptop,

while I played Surviving Mars on the PS4. We had a snack dinner as my side is still playing up, so I’ve

made do with complan. I’ve not been on Twitter over the last few days as I found it was just winding me up.

I’m not sure if that is because the mood of the tweets have changed due to the pandemic or if my mood

means I’m less tolerant of other views? As usual, I’ve got CNN on in the background and stopped writing to

listen to an item about the food supply chain in the USA. Several large meat processing plants have had to

close down due to outbreaks of coronavirus. Farmers are warning, with nowhere to send their grown

livestock, they may have to destroy and dump thousands of pigs. In NY State, dairy farmers are tipping milk

down the drain because their usual buyers are currently closed. Meanwhile there are huge lines at food

banks, with people desperate for food as money runs out. In NY, they are trying to create new supply lines

so they can get some of the food going to waste to people who need it. It highlights the madness of our

world where food goes to waste as others starve. I think the older I get the less appeal I can see in

Capitalism. I really, really hope things may change for the better…

TUESDAY 28/04/20 – 22:50

It has been another wet and miserable day outside. Sarah was working today and I watched some TV and

played Surviving Mars. Thursday is Captain Tom Moore’s 100th birthday. He's become something of a

national treasure after he set out to raise £1,000 for NHS charities by walking 100 lengths of his garden,

over several days. Once the story was picked up by the National news, the fund raising really took off, with

the amount now raised standing at over £29 million. It’s reported that he has received over 125,000

birthday cards, which were all set out in the hall of the school his grandson attends. The RAF memorial

flight is going to do a fly over and the Royal Mail has issued a special frank to mark his birthday. He has

also become the oldest person to have a number 1 single in there charts after releasing a version of “You’ll

Never Walk Alone” with singer Michael Ball. There was also a one minute silence this morning as a mark of

respect to all the healthcare workers who have died of Covid19. Figures vary, but somewhere around 100

front line workers have died after testing positive. There was also a report this morning of a doctor who had

been dealing with coronavirus patients had committed suicide. Again, we can’t say that the virus was

entirely to blame, but the added stress and distress of dealing with such large numbers of deaths must

have added to her mental distress. Figures seem to be showing that the UK has passed the peak for

infections and the rates are starting to fall. Of course, the main reason for that is the strict rules governing

social distancing. The Government say it is still to early to start to think about opening up again and is keen

to avoid speculation in case it dilutes their very clear message. “Stay at Home. Protect the NHS. Save

lives”.

As the graph above shows, the number of weekly deaths has been much higher than the normal range

over the last five years. In fact, the figures have shown that more people have died of Covid19 over a four

week period than the number killed during the deadliest four weeks of the Blitz during WWII. I remember

having arguments on Twitter back in late February with those who argued that coronavirus would be no

worse than a bad 'flu season. In the USA coronavirus deaths surpass US Vietnam war casualties. Efforts to

“flatten the curve” do seem to have had an effect as the following graph, again from the BBC, shows.

So far, India seems to be fairing better than many feared. Whether this is the result of under reporting in a

country where most people die at home or if it linked to the lower average age in India we don’t know? The

fact that there have been cases seems to suggest that the Summer wont necessarily see an end of the

pandemic in the Northern hemisphere. Again, it won’t be until we have the clarity of hindsight that we will

really know what the true cost will be.

Something else that stood out when I watched the news earlier: There have been questions about

international travel with people travelling from various hotspots, with no health checks at airports.

Apparently, with the numbers travelling at a much lower level than normal, travelers aren’t a big source of

new infections. When people get here, they are still covered by the rules of social distancing and staying

home if they have any symptoms. Whilst I remember, one US airline has become the first to instruct

passengers to wear masks on their flights. It will be interesting to see how the rules on distancing will affect

businesses in areas that are reducing restrictions. For example, in the States that are relaxing the rules,

businesses like restaurants, cinemas etc. will have to operate at a reduced capacity of as little as 25%. Will

they still be able to break even with less customers per square meter? I wonder if we will quickly see prices

rise to cover costs?

One thing that has become apparent from America’s push to reopen is that the models that predict the

number of deaths is being revised upwards. Several huge meat processing plants in America have had

outbreaks of the virus and have had to close down for deep cleaning. Trump, however, is set to sign an

order to make such facilities keep open over fears the food supply chain is in danger of breaking down. The

only mentions of food supply here have been the worries that a lack of seasonal workers might mean not all

the crops will be picked in time.

When the lockdown first started I, like most people I suppose, thought it would just be for a few weeks. I

remember being slightly surprised when it was announced the guidelines would be reviewed every three

weeks. It wasn’t long though before I was saying I didn’t think we would be celebrating my birthday (10th

May) with Bobbie and the grandchildren. Andrew’s birthday is on the 16th May and I doubt we'll get to see

him open his presents. Maybe by Sarah and Beth’s birthdays in June we might be back together. I’m fed up

and annoyed at being stuck at home more than usual, but it’s the separation that is really getting to me

most. I don’t drink alcohol, so don’t go out to pubs and clubs with my only real vice being smoking (tobacco

& “herbal” for pain relief) and luckily that hasn’t been interrupted. But normally I’d stop and chat to people I

know when I went to the corner shop and, as I’ve mentioned, we usually see Bobbie and the grandkids

three or four times a week. It may not have been much of a social life compared to many, but I miss it like

crazy. I hope something along the lines of “extended households” is introduced before too much longer so

at least we could see the rest of the family.

Sarah’s dad seems to be coping well. He is in his 80’s and had heart surgery towards the end of last year

and so was one of those who were asked to shield themselves at home and not have contact with anyone

for 12 weeks. Sarah’s mum passed away a few years ago, so he lives by himself, apart from his cat

Quiney. Sarah and her brother (who don’t get along unless they have to) have been doing his shopping,

collecting prescriptions etc., then leaving it on the wall next to the front door, ring the bell and then retreat

back behind the front gate. He seems to be in good spirits even without the usual visits he gets.

That’s it for today as I’m feeling tired and a bit down…….

WEDNESDAY 29/04/20 – 20:30

I can’t remember if I mentioned the couple of letters I’ve sent to Beth to cheer her up a bit and add a little

variety to her days? The first one I sent was a picture of a rainbow with a short note that hopefully used

words she can read so, once Bobbie had read it to her once, she would be able to read it again if she

wanted to. For some reason, I took a picture of the second and thought I’d add it in here, with a few words

of explanation, as I doubt I'd have drawn it had it not been for this lockdown!

“Tickly Spider” is something Beth and I came up with when she was a toddler, somewhere around 2 year

olds. Sarah had popped into the Co-Op to get some shopping while Beth and I stayed in the car. Beth was

really making a fuss because she wanted to get out of the car too and as she was sitting directly behind

me, I reached back and started tickling her feet. That quickly cheered her up and she asked me what it was

tickling her. I made my hand into a sort of spider shape and said it was “tickly spider” who had come to

cheer her up. For some reason she liked the idea and it stuck, with her often asking to see tickly spider.

One day, I made the other hand into a spider shape and introduced her as “Spiderzilla”. Next time I saw

her, she said she wanted to play tickly spider and…. She paused for a moment trying to remember the

name and continued “Mozzarella!”. It sounded so cute, I said nothing and so another character was born.

Whenever we’re sat in the car together she'll almost always ask if she can see Tickly and Mozzarella. I’ve

never been at all gifted at anything art related, so it was a nice and simple cartoon strip to draw. Beth does

love to receive post! Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds announced the birth of their son today. Boris has

previously written about the children of single parents being more likely to be thugs and criminals, despite

having children with his former wife and at least one other affair! The total number of deaths from

coronavirus has been revised upwards to over 26,000 which includes deaths outside hospital. The

Government’s goal of carrying out 100,000 tests per day by the end of April now seems impossible, with

52,429 tests conducted on Tuesday.

I think I’m going to have to give in and call 111 and our GP as the nerve above the missing tooth is really

playing up again. It was bad when I got up this morning so I took some Oramorph and went back to bed.

I’ve been asleep most of the day, which is at least a break from being in pain.

We spoke to Bobbie as usual today and she was saying that Neil (the children’s dad) isn’t coping well with

lockdown. Although, under the rules, the children are allowed to stay with both parents, Bobbie hasn’t been

letting them stay there because none of his family are paying much attention to social distancing. Bobbie’s

dad has seen Neil go past towards his friends houses most days and his sister’s have been coming to visit

fairly often. It will also make things awkward if the rules change and we have to choose one other

household to join up with. Neil could have stayed at Bobbie’s for the duration of he had wanted to, but he

didn’t like having to give her some extra money each week to cover his food etc.

Being in pain from my joints, stomach and toothache, on top of not being able to do things that help distract

my attention from it is definitely difficult. I can feel myself being short with Sarah and in a generally bad

mood.

It looks like several US States are aiming to reopen businesses without following the limited guidelines put

out by the White House. Business owners interviewed on CNN keep mentioning how they will be taking

peoples temperature to check for coronavirus. We already know as many as 25% of people who have

covid19 don’t have serious symptoms and don’t have a raised temperature. Again, it’s just another false

sense of security that will probably do more harm than good. Mistakenly thinking someone is clear means

they are less likely to strictly follow rules on distancing. Surely it would be better for businesses where

people linger, restaurants, cinema etc. if they assumed every customer was an asymptomatic carrier and

arrange their premises accordingly?

The problem with some areas opening up before others in America is that it puts pressure on those

following the scientific advice to open as quickly as possible. Whilst I rarely agree with the politics of this

Conservative Government at least, after a late start, there doesn’t seem to be the same rush to reopen until

the figures show it is safer to do so. One thing I do worry about is whether or not this will lead to a

reintroduction of the “austerity” measures that followed the 2008 credit crunch. A UN report into the effects

of austerity was highly critical, pointing out that it was far more of a political than economic choice. The

Government disputed the report although I’m not aware of any other occasion where a UN report into

poverty in other countries has been questioned. In my opinion, it’s a great pity that this happened after the

General Election last November. By that I mean I wish that the election had been set for this summer rather

than coronavirus had hit during the winter as that, combined with 'flu season would have put a lot more

pressure on the NHS.

There have been some positive early reports about the drug Remdesivir in treating those infected. It seems

to have reduced the recovery time and may have also reduced the death rate, although the relatively small

sample size makes this harder to determine. It is an antiviral drug that was originally developed during the

Ebola outbreak. Again, with any new drug, there has to be concerns about possible side effects. I’m old

enough to remember the tragic number of people who had been affected by Thalidomide during the 1960’s.

In normal circumstances, new drugs and especially vaccines take over a decade to develop and properly

test. To speed that up to 18 months must surely add to the risks involved? The other vaccination issue that

is being highlighted is the fall in numbers of those receiving their regular vaccinations. Partly due to school

closures and partly by people avoiding visiting the Doctors where possible. I hope we don’t see a spike in

measles cases as a result.

It’s time for me to have more painkillers and as they are so strong, they make it easy to sleep. So I shall

end here for today and go to bed. One last thing on my mind: I had initially intended to send in my diary

every Friday, but I had an email from Mike asking if I could do it monthly instead. When I replied, I asked

him to take part one as my submission for April and I’d send the next at the end of May. Thinking about it, it

makes more sense to send this second part on Friday 1st May so he has everything from April, then begin

monthly submissions after that.

THURSDAY 30/04/20 – 20:30

Today is Captain Tom Moore’s 100th birthday and his fund raising for the NHS now stands at £32 m illion.

To mark the occasion, there was a fly past by the RAF memorial flight, of a Spitfire and Hurricane, flying at

400ft over his house three times. He was also made an honorary Colonel of his old regiment and an

honorary member of the England Cricket team. He also got a personal message from both the Queen and

Boris Johnson. He really has caught the public imagination and raised a serious amount of money.

Boris was also back at the daily press briefing today, for the first time since he became ill with covid19.

Whilst still not giving any details about how the lockdown will be lifted, he did say that the Government will

be giving more information about that next week. There are also plans to start opening up the NHS for

other treatments and more routine screening and procedures. The medical experts were still expressing

concern by the drop off in the number of people attending A&E or calling 999, especially for suspected

heart attacks and strokes. I called my GP surgery today and got a call back this afternoon. After explaining

the issue the Dr has prescribed a codeine based painkiller that I can pick up from the chemist tomorrow. I

also rang 111 about emergency dental care and again I got a call back really quickly. There is a local

treatment center they can send me to, but they only accept appointments during certain hours, so they

advised me to call back again tomorrow and hopefully they will be able to fit me in quickly and sort out the

nerve pain I’ve been getting. It feels like the bone is receding, so I hope there is something they can do. I

might check with My Dentist tomorrow before calling 111 as the person I spoke to today mentioned that the

closest place for treatment is only 1½ miles away, which is about how far my regular dentist is. Although,

the local hospital is also about that far away, so it may be there. Sarah and I went out at 8pm for the “clap

for carers”, but it seemed a little quieter this evening compared to previous weeks. Maybe the colder

weather put people off or maybe it was because we went out the front at dead on 8pm. I hope it doesn’t

mean that support for Front Line worker is starting to fade?

The billionaire Elon Musk has been making a twat of himself on Twitter again, tweeting that the restrictions

are unconstitutional and America should be “free”. He also predicted that the pandemic would be over by

April. He's also been expressing his annoyance that the State that his Tesla factory is located in isn’t

rushing to reopen like some of the others. You would have thought that he could cope without adding to his

fortune for a couple of months?

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 23:15

As usual at this time at night, I’ve got CNN on in the background and it seems a worrying number of States

are letting their stay at home orders lapse tonight. Trump is saying that he now has evidence that the

coronavirus outbreak originated from a lab in Wuhan, although he didn’t offer any evidence to back up his

claim. He is also now saying that he was only complimentary about China’s handling of the outbreak in the

early days because he was in the middle of trade negotiations. Trump is also still blaming Obama for the

“broken tests” they inherited. Seeing as he has been in the White House for over 3 years and the first case

of novel coronavirus in humans didn’t occur until December 2019, he doesn’t seem to understand why what

he is saying doesn’t make any sense. The initial tests used in America were faulty because they had been

contaminated during production. That production only started this year. It beggars belief that someone who

appears so out of touch with reality can get themselves elected as President of the United States of

America?

Just caught another amazing piece of news from CNN, Trump seems to be suggesting that China

deliberately let the coronavirus spread in an attempt to harm his chance of re-election. Again it is classic

deflection away from his own failure. I wonder if his performance during this crisis has been bad enough to

make his supporters think again? We had a nice long video chat with Bobbie and the little ones when Sarah

got in from work. Beth is enjoying the fact that, as they aren’t going out, she can put makeup on. Bobbie

doesn’t really like it, but has allowed her to put on some play makeup when they’re at home. Considering

she is not quite 6 years old yet, she really seems to be getting the hang of it. It’s gone from looking like a

clown to quite neat and tidy. As usual, Oliver was too busy playing to take much notice of a video call.

Andrew was pleased to see us, although I still can’t get him to go back to calling me Granddad rather than

daddy. Bobbie and Beth were going to have a girl’s night tonight, which she has been missing out on.

Usually, Neil has Oliver one night a week and when he does, Bobbie and Beth have an early night and go

up with some snacks and watch a DVD.

I’ve not much more to add tonight, so I'll run the spell check and have a quick read through to make sure

this CoronaDiary makes at least some sense. I wonder if, by the time I’m ready to send in May’s diary, we

will have got to hug Bobbie and the children? There’s just so much uncertainty, which makes it hard to

know what expectations to have. I wonder if we will be able to nurture the goodwill and positivity this

pandemic has brought out and get rid of some of the selfishness and greed that helped get us here in the

first place.

May 2020

FRIDAY 01/05/20 – 00:50

Once again, I just sent rest of my April CoronaDiary to Mike Ward and will send this file at the end of May.

When this project has finished I might have to print out my whole diary and have it bound in a similar way to

my dissertation. It’s something the grandchildren might be interested to look at when they are older. I guess

I should call it a night and see if I can get in at the dentist’s tomorrow.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 20:30

Bloody 111! So, as instructed I rang back today to see if I could get referred to a regional Urgent Dental

Care hub. After going through my details with the call handler, he was surprised that there was no

information about yesterday’s call. He then noticed my telephone area code and told me that I’d been put

through to the wrong call center as he was based in Newcastle. I called back, went through my details and

when the call handler couldn’t find any record of my previous call, I asked where he was based and was

told I had got through to the Manchester call center. On my third try, I asked straight away if I’d got through

to the right center for Oxfordshire and was told I was. We went through the diagnostic questions and once

again I was told that I need to see a dentist within 24 hours and they gave me the another number to call. I

rang it straight away and was treated to a recorded message saying that they were closed for the

foreseeable future and that I should call 111.

As I’ve mentioned before, I suffer from anxiety and depression and the exasperated just got the better of

me today. It left me physically shaking and completely fed up. I’m beginning to think these UDC hubs are a

complete fiction and I won’t be able to get any treatment until things start to return to normal. With a broken

tooth on the left side and this feeling of “brain freeze” on the right, I’m really struggling to eat at the moment.

After calming down a bit, Sarah and I went to the chemist to pick up the stronger painkillers they prescribed

– Codeine and we headed over to Steeple Aston to see Bobbie and the kids. As always, we sat out in the

front garden having a cuppa while talking to Bobbie, Betg, Andrew and Oliver through their front window.

Andrew’s really growing fast. He can now peek over the frame of the top window Bobbie opens, standing

on his tip toes. Beth is getting worried that the lockdown won’t be over by her birthday (14th June), but

cheered up a bit when we assured her we would come and watch her open her presents through the

window if we can’t be together. Oliver was showing off some animals he’s made from empty boxes and

loads of sticky tape. Bobbie did have to give us some hints as to what they were, but he was very proud of

them bless him. Bobbie said Beth has been getting quite emotional this week. When her teacher arranged

a Zoom call with the whole class today, Beth just burst into tears when she saw her friends. Andrew still

won’t go back to calling me granddad, insisting on calling me daddy instead. He got upset when we got up

to leave, but I managed to cheer him up by playing “peek-a-boo” at the edge of the window. He was

giggling away by the time Sarah had put the garden chairs back over the gate for Bobbie to take in once

we'd gone. He was waving and shouting “wuv ooo!” (I love you) as we got in the car and drove off.

In the news today was the announcement that the Government has managed to reach it’s goal of 100,000

tests in one day. There is some dispute over the figure as they include home tests that have been sent out

today, but won’t be returned straight away. Either way, it has been an impressive achievement to scale up

testing so quickly. The goal is only a stepping stone with plans to further increase capacity. Hopefully, wide

spread testing and contact tracing will allow restrictions to be lifted sooner rather than later.

In the USA, the Center for Disease Control has said that large events towards the end of February are

likely to have helped the coronavirus take hold in America. They point to things like Mardi Gras, a large

business convention as well as a large funeral as helping the spread. Another disturbing story from New

York has revealed that dozens of decomposing bodies were stored in two unrefrigerated vans outside a

funeral home. I’ve also set the Sky box to record a CNN special report “The Pandemic and the President”

(Monday 3am our time) which should be interesting. When Trump tries to rewrite history about what he has

said and done, he seems to forget that his every public statement is recorded and can be referred back to.

Facebook has decided to take down David Ickes page for spreading dangerous misinformation about the

coronavirus. He has also been in trouble for hate speech after saying a Jewish group was responsible. Of

course, on Twitter, some of his supporters have taken this as further proof that he is right and Governments

are worried that he is revealing the truth. I’m really at a loss at how to counter this sort of circular argument.

There is a certain smugness amongst the tin foil hat brigade that they really “know the truth”. At it’s heart,

it’s a failure of education as most of this sort of conspiracy theory depends on a lack of knowledge or

understanding of basic science. It’s similar to the fundamentalist Christians who argue the we should be

convinced by evolution because it is only a theory. It makes me wonder if, when asked to take the theory

section of their driving test, they suddenly doubt the existence of cars?

Trump has continued his war of words against China as he attempts to deflect attention from his terrible

record handling the coronavirus. Chinese State TV has responded by saying that the American allegations

are simply an attempt to cover up their own failings. China has also been attempting to gain support by

sending relief aid to various countries, mainly in the form of much needed PPE. To me, it sounds like the

beginning of a new Cold War between America and a Communist country. It’s a pity that politics seems to

have blocked any prospect of the two super powers working together to try and halt this Pandemic. I

wonder if it will lead to a new round of proxy wars similar to what was seen in the 1970’s & 80’s, from

Vietnam to Afghanistan. We are still paying the price for the involvement of both the USSR and America in

Afghanistan. The US supported, trained and equipped the Taliban on the grounds that they were anti-

Soviet.

Forgive me if I have mentioned this before, but I think it was the atmosphere of the '80’s that makes me

anxious every time I see one version of the Government’s “Stay at Home” advertising campaign. It has the

Chief Medical advisor, Professor Chris Whitty saying “You should now only go out for the following

reasons...” which wouldn’t have sounded out of place in an '80’s drama about nuclear war.

With so many news interviews now taking place over a video link from their home has made me wonder

something: How long do they spend “setting the scene”? The interviewee is almost always in front of a

bookcase and I’ve noticed several times now, that they are strangely arranged. Some books on their side,

with the one at the top (now lifted to a convenient height) facing the camera. I might start noting down some

titles and looking them up to see what message they are trying to send?

It’s getting late (I’ve stopped and started this entry throughout the evening) and I haven’t done my daily

tasks in Red Dead Online (RDO). They have quite a clever system to try and make sure you log in every

day, at least for a little while. The game has two currencies – Dollars, with which you can buy most in game

items. There are also Good Bars, which can be bought for real world money. These can also be used to

buy items, if you haven’t managed to earn enough in game dollars, but some things can only be bought

with the gold bars. Usually it’s things that add other elements of gameplay, such as businesses etc. You

can earn gold by playing the game and the most efficient way is through the daily tasks. To begin with,

each task pays 0.1 bar, but if you do at least one task a day for 7 days, they pay 0.2. By the time you have

done a task for 28 consecutive days, they pay 0.5 gold bars each and there’s usually a couple that are

pretty easy to do. It means, once you have a streak of over 28 days you are loathed to loose it and start

again. Having said that, the most expensive thing I’ve bought in game cost 35 bars and my character

currently has over 550!

Saturday 02/05/20 – 22:05

Well, the codeine does help with the toothache, but only for a couple of hours. I can take them every 4

hours, but I am allowed to also take ibuprofen and paracetamol, so I'll have to work out the best time to

take each to try and get some relief from this pain. As ever, it’s the middle of the night when it’s most

troubling. I suppose it’s because there is less to distract added to the tiredness. I’ve been avoiding eating

for the last couple of days as, if I chew on the left side, it makes the broken tooth play up and on the right,

the nerve leading to the tooth I lost. Luckily, I get Complan prescribed as, when my side is playing up,

pretty much any food makes it worse. If I were a horse, it would be time for a trip to the glue factory!

Sarah has been at work all day today and spoke to Bobbie on the phone from there, so I didn’t get to see of

chat to the children today. Apparently Andrew has been quite upset today and she’s not sure if he’s coming

down with something, he’s tired or having growing pains. We’re so grateful that this virus didn’t raise it’s

ugly head when Andrew was a little younger. He was taken to hospital by ambulance twice with breathing

difficulties following regular colds, so I dread to think how covid19 would have affected him then. He seems

to cope with them as well as any other toddler now, so hopefully he has developed enough now to make it

less serious if he does catch it as the country opens up.

Some opinion polls suggest that, even if the Government were to remove all restrictions tomorrow, the

majority of Brits would not feel safe returning to normal life and interactions. I also wonder what liability

companies would face if there was an outbreak at a large employer, as we've seen happen in the huge

meat processing plants in America. Having spent quite a few years working as a telephone interviewer for a

large market research company in the '90’s, I’m also well aware that such polls aren’t always what they

seem. To get a true sense of the information they provide you need to know all the questions that were

asked and how the respondents were chosen. As I saw, it’s easy to influence answers by carefully wording

the questions leading up to the one that goes on to grab headlines. When I worked in the industry, the

Government polls we conducted were well out together and at least attempted to gather genuine

information. The ones we conducted for private companies – not so much. I always became frustrated

because we never allowed to clarify questions. You often got quite a good sense of a respondents view on

a subject, especially as many of the surveys ran to 20 minutes or more. You could tell when a person had

answered every question about a company in a negative way, was tricked into agreeing with a positive

statement that they had misunderstood.

I’m going to leave this as a short entry today as the Bally toothache is really stopping me from

concentrating on what I’m writing. Hopefully the cocktail of pain killers will have me in a better mood

tomorrow. It will also be the day to see if the bluebells I pressed have worked well enough to turn them into

a picture for Beth. Bobbie will no doubt curse me if Beth wants to have a go herself!

SUNDAY 03/05/20 – 18:00

Sarah isn’t feeling well today. She is feeling generally a bit lousy and has a sore throat, which is a little

worrying. Although, rationally I know it’s almost certainly a regular cold, that doesn’t always help with worry.

We were going to go over and to Bobbie today, to drop off some stuff her dad left here for her, but Sarah

didn’t feel up to getting up, so we stayed home.

Bobbie has sent some lovely photos and a couple of videos of their walk today. Oliver was being especially

cute, first saying he was a bit scared in case they saw a fox and then, seeing an interesting tangle of tree

roots, saying “Ooo a magic tree!”. It’s so good that they live in a little village with lots of green space,

woodland and fields within a 5 minute walk. It’s keeping them active and interested, with the added benefit

that it makes them fall to sleep quickly at bedtime. They’ve lived out there since Andrew was a few weeks

old and so the lockdown has given them a chance to explore the area more than they had before. Andrew’s

now old enough to be able to walk a reasonable distance and most of their usual activities are shut down. I

do miss going to the Friday morning playgroup with Bobbie. We used to go with just Oliver, then Andrew

and Oliver and now just Andrew as Oliver goes to nursery school on Fridays.

I accidentally managed to make Beth cry today. A couple of weeks ago, when we were dropping off

supplies, she pointed out of the window to a little pink flower growing in the lawn and said, if she was

allowed out, she would pick it and give it to me as a present. So, I picked it and took it home, where I

pressed it and stuck it on a little painted board, finally sealing it with a few layers of clear PVA glue. I sent

Bobbie a photo of the finished thing with the following message to read to Beth:

Bobbie said that she has been really emotional this last week or so. She’s having the toughest during the

lockdown as both the boys are happy playing together and just doing the things Bobbie does with them.

Beth, being a couple of years older, has got used to having time at school where she has a close group of

friends. On the other hand, she isn’t really old enough to be able to engage with them using tech like an

older child or teenager would. I just hope she is also going enough for this not to have a lasting effect on

her. I have some memories from when I was her age the earliest from when I was 3. Although, the only

reason I can date them to that age is because I know we moved from Norfolk to Hull a week before my 4th

birthday, which gives a kind of time stamp on those early memories.

Watching CNN (as ever! And again I’ve been start/stopping while writing this and it is now 22:50) which is

something I did very rarely before things changed. It seems that far more US citizens are rebelling against

the restrictions than here and in Europe generally. There’s been armed demonstrations in several states

with Oklahoma changing it’s rules over having to wear face masks outside after retail staff reported being

threatened when they tried to enforce the rules. The Governor of Ohio had also revered his decision on

requiring masks outside saying that the measure went too far and that it wasn’t the place of the

Government to tell people what to do. Made me think; if it isn’t the job of Government to tell people what to

do, why do we have laws?

I’m also finding this CoronaDiary helpful as it gets me to marshal my thought and also something external

that “needs” to be done each day. I say “needs” as it’s voluntary and there’s no penalty from dropping out,

but I think it’s a valuable project and I want to honour my commitment to it. For example, the way I’m

feeling, I could have quite happily stayed in bed with Sarah all day today, but part of what got me up this

morning was knowing I needed to write this. That’s despite the fact that I didn’t actually start writing until

this evening!

MONDAY 04/05/20 - 20:00

Sarah is feeling quite a bit better today, I’m glad to say. She’s taken it easy today, but hasn’t got a sore

throat anymore. My teeth are still playing up, but the codeine is certainly helping now I’ve been taking them

for a few days.

We had a bit of a treat, having the first take away meal since the lockdown began, from the local

pizza/burger place at the end of the road. You can order and pay online and they deliver, so there’s no

need to get close to anyone.

LATER THAT SAME DAY 23:45

I put down the tablet and stopped writing when Bobbie video called. She looks worn out, bless her. She’s

feeling guilty about not doing enough home schooling with Beth, but it’s hard to get her to concentrate

whilst also giving the boys something interesting or fun to do while she works with her. The kids were all

fine and in a good mood and Oliver had something important to tell us. After ages of flatly refusing to have

anything to do with a potty, he finally managed to use it three times today. As Bobbie was telling us, he was

singing “I did a poo-poo” over and over. It was Beth who got him to go, which might have been why he was

suddenly interested as he likes to be able to do things his big sister can.

I downloaded a new free add on to one of my games on PS4, The Valley DLC for Mud Runners. It a slow

paced game, set in woods in Russia, where you drive large machinery to work the logging industry. I do

enjoy, what some would describe, slightly geeky games. I’ve asked Dan for Train Network Simulator 2020,

Collectors Edition, which recreate the tracks and loco's from 4 different railway networks, set in different

time periods. There’s also a whole host of other track and train packs to add on, if I get into the game. It

looks like it’s an “every switch & lever” type Sim, which I enjoy, with half a dozen steps required before you

start the engine.

I watched the CNN special report “The Pandemic and the President”, which was interesting. The more the

doctors look, the earlier it seems that coronavirus had already taken hold in Europe and USA. The earliest

case in France that has been found by testing samples taken, is in December 2019. While the tide of travel

from China to the West Coast of America was slowed by a partial travel ban, the virus was also arriving on

the East Coast, brought by travelers from Europe.

The problems were pretty similar in America and here in the UK. Political leaders were unwilling to risk

disrupting the economy based on the uncertain risk of a Pandemic, which was far more widespread much

earlier than even the experts realised. There then followed a period, which Boris Johnson described as

“taking it on the chin” and allowing the virus to spread unchecked. BoJo even gave a speech speculating

about the befits of being the only major economy in Europe that wasn’t going to be shutting down. On both

sides of the Atlantic it was the prospect of overwhelming the Health Service that finally prompted official

action. Once all the beds are full, a host of other conditions suddenly become fatal due to the lack of care.

It’s here that the US & UK started to diverge. At least Boris seems to have taken the threat seriously and

continues to do so. Having had a serious bout of covid19 himself had no doubt played a part. Trump is

pushing for the US to open up as quickly as possible and plenty of Governors seem prepared to do just

that. Due to the lifting of stay at home orders, the US model for the number of deaths by the end of June

have been revised upwards. The figures have at least doubled the number of predicted deaths.

TUESDAY 05/05/20 - 01:10

I was watching some News before bed and there was an item about a poem, a video of which has gone

viral.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 14:00

Feeling really down today, not sure if it’s because it would have been Dad’s birthday? It doesn’t usually

bother me especially. After all, I’ve been alive 12 years longer without him than the 20 I spent with him

alive.

I took a couple of days break, feeling unwell…..

THURSDAY 07/05/20 – 20:45

I think I had whatever it was that Sarah had earlier in the week, leaving me feeling really run down and with

a sore throat. Sarah took some shopping over to Bobbie’s yesterday, while I stayed at home, vegging out in

front of endless episodes of “Friends”.

got my Christmas / Birthday present from Sarah yesterday. My birthday isn’t until the 10th, but she knows I

hate waiting and it was also my Xmas present, so she gave it to me to cheer me up a bit. It’s a new

wedding ring. The one I had when we got married had stretched a little and I’ve lost a lot of weight over the

last 8 years, so it had started to fly off if I made any sudden hand movements. It was also made by a family

friend, which was a lovely gesture at the time, but became marred when he was found guilty of having a

secret “relationship” with his 15 year old niece. My new ring is a “meteorite” ring – a silver band with parts

of a meteorite in a band that runs around the center. It’s really stunning when the light catches it and I’m

delighted with it.

We went out to Clap For Carers at 20:00 this evening. It was much louder than last week, which sounded

like people were loosing interest. I wonder if that inspired people to make more of an effort this week?

There were a lot of darn horns and people banging of saucepans with wooden spoons. We got to wave to a

few of the neighbours we haven’t seen for a while.

I also spoke to Rick yesterday, over Play Station Chat. We've know each other since Secondary School. He

didn’t get on with his step mum as a teenager and ended up moving in with Mum and I. He moved in at the

age of 14 and stayed until he moved out to live with the girlfriend (Sophie) he eventually married at around

age 21, I think. They’ve been together ever since and have a son and daughter who are getting on for 20.

Anyway, he asked if I wanted to know what he planned to do for my Birthday and naturally I said yes. He

said he’d been chatting with Sophie and they had decided to get me a joint Birthday / Christmas present, of

a Play Station 5, as soon as it is released! I was actually at a loss for words and a little choked up by the

offer.

We play a fair bit online together and have done for years. We both played a lot of PC games when we

were younger, but as keeping up a gaming PC became more expensive and the standard of console

games improved, we changed over to PS games. I was lucky and managed to get a PS3 for a really good

price a couple of years into it’s cycle through a friend who bought an ex-display / demo console from the

shop he worked at. Again, it was a couple of years into the PS4 generation when I had my 50th Birthday

and Sarah & Bobbie bought me one. That’s when Rick and I got back into gaming together, playing Grand

Theft Auto and more recently Red Dead Redemption Online. Although Rick has been quite excited at the

increasing news about the next generation PS console. I’d been playing it down, as I thought it would be 2 -

3 years before I’d be able to upgrade as it’s about then that they tend to release a cheaper model. One

thing that had “worried” me a little was whether or not RDO would follow the same model as GTA and

release a newer version on the new console. When that happened with GTA, Rockstar Games allowed the

transfer of online characters to the PS4. That would mean that I’d eventually lose my character Withnail67

as I very much doubt we could afford a PS5 at launch price.

There’s much speculation in the Press about how and when lockdown restrictions will begin to be lifted.

What I’d call the “gutter press” (Daily Mail, Sun, Telegraph etc.) is putting a little pressure on the

Government by raising expectations that things will be eased soon. The official line is “the right steps at the

right time, guided by science.” And Boris is addressing the Nation on Sunday evening. I hope we aren’t

going to follow the example set by America and open up too quickly, now the numbers are falling. The UK

has the second highest number of deaths, despite our being several weeks behind Spain and Italy, which

should have made the UK act sooner than we did.

FRIDAY 08/05/20 – 15:00

Today is the 75th anniversary of VE Day, which marked the end of the Second World War in Europe. Pretty

much all the planned events and tributes have had to be either cancelled or massively scaled back. The

Red Arrows did a flyover Buckingham Palace and it was nice to see that, unlike when the Blue Angles and

Thunderbirds did their fly past in America, there didn’t seem to be any crowds gathering to watch. The

Queen is giving a televised speech this evening, her second this year, which is highly unusual. Her last

address to the Nation, finishing with “… we will meet again” was an inspired piece of speech writing.

Downing Street has been moving to lower expectations about what BoJo will announce on Sunday about

then plans to ease restrictions, saying that little will change to start with. I’m still hopeful that some limited

social interactions will be allowed by Beth’s birthday on the 14th June. She loves to have an audience when

she is unwrapping presents and she is worried about what it will mean for her birthday this year. We've

already said that we'll go over during the day to watch her open some of her presents through the fron t

window if the rules are still as they are now.

Polling seems to show that over 90% of the public are still supportive of the message to stay at home

where ever possible.

SATURDAY 09/05/20 – 23:00

Part of the reason I’m writing less in this Diary at the moment is because I downloaded one of this months

free PS games, which is part of my online subscription, that lets me play the online elements of the games.

The games Farm Simulator 2019, which is just my cup of tea! Slow, repetitive game play which slowly

speeds up as you gain funds and can afford better equipment. There’s just too many games I want to play

at the moment. There’s Red Dead, Surviving Mars as well as the Train Sim I’m hoping Bobbie is getting me

for m'birthday and I’ve also been wanting to play City: Skylines – which sees you act as Mayor, building

infrastructure to attract commercial, industrial and residential property developer’s. What I really like about

it, compared to the previous City Building standard SimCity, is the amount of space you get to expand. You

can build serval cities, linked together with various forms of transport. I’ve been reading some guides to the

game and have some new ideas I want to try out.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’ll be turning 53 which, of course, doesn’t seem at all possible. Once you

reach your mid to late 20’s, I don’t, in general, think people really change that much. It’s just time that

seems pass faster and faster with each passing year. I guess each year is a smaller percentage of your

total experience and so it seems shorter than the last. I remember when I was about Beth age, it seemed

forever between Christmas and my birthday, but now it’s no time at all.

Boris Johnson is to give a televised speech tomorrow evening and is expected to lay out the plan to start

reopening. After a week of gutter press speculation as to what restrictions will be the first to be lifted. Over

the last couple of days, government spokespeople have been saying very little will change initially.

Personally, I hoping they will find a way for people to expand their “social bubble” so we can get to see

Bobbie and the kids again.

We spoke to Bobbie and family this afternoon, before Sarah went to work this evening and they have been

enjoying the warm weather again. They’ve been having a water pistol fight with the next door neighbour’s,

even though their children are both young teens. Andrew has been running about in the nude as he love to

be without his nappy on and his hair is now almost bleached blond. We're going over to see them through

the window for my birthday tomorrow. Normally we'd all be together. When I lived alone, I spent a couple of

birthdays alone, but not since Sarah and I got together.

The broken tooth I’ve got on the left (upper) hand side is playing up somewhat today. It feels like the broken

surface is starting to flake away. I guess, with no enamel to cover it, that area must be prone to decay. I

might give 111 another try next week to see if there is any news on the UDC hubs.

SUNDAY 10/05/20 – MY BIRTHDAY – 22:30

Today is my 53rd birthday and a little different to usual due to the current restrictions. Some things were the

same as usual, I had Tiramisu for breakfast as I have for about the last 20 years! I’d already got my present

from Sarah, my new wedding ring and she also got me a birthday card with the grandkids on the front.

We went over to Bobbie’s about 13:00, but after days of really nice warm weather, it has turned rather cold

and windy. Bobbie had the chairs out for us when we got there, but I had to ask for a coat as I was

shivering like mad. The kids had each made me a birthday card and got me a box of Roses chocolates,

some bars of Dairy Milk chocolate as well as a new PS4 game – Train Sim World 2020. The kids had also

helped her make cup cakes and Beth brought one to them to the window with a candle. Bobbie p assed it

out for me to blow out and make a wish. Beth had also wrapped up a couple of her toys so she could

unwrap them as I unwrapped mine.

Sarah spent the afternoon playing World of Warcraft on the laptop, whilst I installed and went through a

couple of the tutorials on my new game. It seems to be exactly what I was hoping it would be, an

unforgiving simulation of trains ranging from the 80’s through to present day. Two sections of British track

are included – The Trans Pennine route as it was in the 1980’s British Rail days and London Paddington to

Reading in the present day, run by Great Western Railways. There are also a couple of routes from

Germany as well as the USA.

Sarah was at work this evening, which gave me more time to play about with TWS2020. I downloaded a

couple of the manuals for the different locomotives as the tutorials cover the basics, but leave a little to be

desired if you do something you’re not supposed to. I got really stuck on one of the introductory missions

when I had to change ends, to drive from the cab at the back. Looking at some forums, there were plenty of

comments saying the game is bugged and there is no way to finish it. I found a YouTube video that walked

you through the mission and it was a case of “user error”. I was forgetting to release the breaks at one end

of the train before trying to use them at the other, which isn’t allowed for safety reasons.

Dan gave me a video call to wish me a happy birthday and also sent a present (another box of Roses) and

card with Sarah.

Boris announced the next phase of social restrictions this evening, which seemed a little confused to me.

Most things remain the same although you can no meet up with one member of another household as long

as it is outside and they remain 2m apart. Some more sports are now allowed, such as tennis and golf,

subject to the same restrictions. For the first time, people are being advised to use facemasks when it’s

impossible to keep 2m apart, such as when using public transport.

MONDAY 11/05/20 – 22:20

I had a rather late night last night, playing TSW2020, heading up to bed about 3am. I was back up at 4 with

the nerve above my missing tooth really playing up. I think I upset it again when I bit into what I thought was

a soft centered sweet, only to find it was a hard toffee. I was up and down until about 8, when I could have

another codeine which eased the pain. It also wiped me out and the next thing I knew it was 14:30 and

Sarah woke me up to see if I was ok.

People seem to be somewhat suspicious of the new guidelines BoJo announced last night. There was talk

about early years children going back to school for a short while before the summer holidays. Apparently,

parents who don’t feel comfortable sending their children back won’t face fines if they decide to keep their

children at home. Bobbie is pleased about that as she was saying she didn’t feel comfortable with Beth

going back anytime soon.

Bobbie also asked for some advice today. The children are really missing not seeing their Dad as they'd

stay there once a week normally. Neil’s family don’t really seem to have got the idea of social distancing

and so, although it’s allowed, Bobbie hasn’t felt comfortable with the children going back and forth. Neil

stayed the first two weeks of lockdown and went back to his mums as soon as Bobbie asked him to chip in

to help pay for the bills. Bobbie wanted to know what I thought about her inviting him back to stay for a few

weeks? She is going to get him to change and take a shower as soon as he gets there and I said I thought

it was a good idea. Not only will it cheer the children up to see their dad again, but Bobbie really needs a bit

of a break. At the moment she can’t even go and have a soak in the bath without one or more of the

children wanting something or crying. I’m not sure how long he'll stay this time, but it should give Bobbie a

bit of a break for a while.

Another short entry as I’m off to do some more gaming….

TUESDAY 12/05/20 – 22:00

The weather is starting to turn a little warmer again which at least means Bobbie can get out for a walk with

the grandkids. The card she ordered me from Moonpig didn’t arrive in time for her to give me it on Sunday,

so she forwarded it and I got it today. A lovely selection of pictures of the kids. Neil went over to stay today

and Bobbie says he’s planning on staying for a week. I hope it gives Bobbie a bit of a break, although he

isn’t the best at realizing what would help and offering to do it without being asked. At the very least, Bobbie

can now visit the bathroom without Andrew wanting to go with her!

The new rules/guidelines about social distancing seem to be causing confusion. You are allowed to see

one person from a different household, outside and 2m apart. So, you could go and see one parent, they

go back inside and the other can come out to chat. When asked on “This Morning” the explanation given by

the government spokesperson was that they wanted to keep interactions at a minimum. Saying “just 1

person” means some will push it and say it’s ok to see two (eg both parents). If they had said it was ok to

see two people, someone might argue that it was ok to see their parents and, for example, a sibling at the

same time. They also mentioned that they were looking at the possibility of “combined households” where

two households could have a lot more interaction with each other, while maintaining distance from

everyone else. Hopefully that will mean we'll finally be able to see Bobbie and the children properly. The

kids are going to be so fed up of being hugged by the time Sarah and I have finished with them!

People have also been advised that it probably isn’t worth booking an overseas summer holidays this year

as restrictions will remain in place. Airlines have been hard hit, but I do think that any Government bailout

should be linked to improved environmental standards. Richard Branson is reported to be selling off a

share in Virgin Galactic to raise funds to keep Virgin Atlantic afloat. I hope the coronavirus doesn’t see the

end of his planned suborbital passenger flights. Which reminds me, NASA is planning to launch two

astronauts to the ISS in a privately built capsule and launcher for the first time this month. There’s not been

any launches from American soil since the last Space Shuttle flight.

I’ve been spending a lot of time gaming as I have loads of good titles at the moment. Today has been

TSW2020 again, working through the “journey” scenarios, which introduce various different aspects of the

game “working” for one of the included companies. I’ve mainly been playing on the present day GWR line,

but also want to try more of the 1980’s Trans Pennine route.

The nerve above the missing tooth is still playing up today. The codeine helps but does tend to make you

constipated, which is a pain in the arse!

WEDNESDAY 13/05/20 – 20:45

More businesses have started to open up today, but there have been some fairly depressing pictures of

crowds on public transport in the media. The idea was for businesses to think about staggering their start

times to ease the pressure, but without any sort of outside organisation I imagine every business is leaving

it to the others to delay their start times.

Parks and open spaces have looked better if the pictures are anything to go by. Quite a few people out and

about, but each keeping their distance from others and enjoying the fresh air.

Bobbie has had a rough day and has been on the phone, upset, twice today. Neil is leaving early on

Saturday as he’s got a day’s work as he’s currently furloughed on 80% pay. It’s also Andrew’s 2nd birthday

on Saturday and as Neil will be working fairly closely with others, Bobbie isn’t keen on him coming back

straight away. Then, this afternoon, her next door neighbour came round to complain about the amount of

noise the children are making during the day. It’s not like they are badly behaved at all and are always

asleep by 19:30. Considering Beth should be at school 5 days a week and Oliver 2, plus the fact that all of

the activities they go to are closed, Bobbie’s doing the best she can. The woman from next door said that

she was finding it impossible to work from home and that Bobbie had been great during her 6 month initial

lease, but as soon as she was accepted for a 5 year lease, things have got worse. That’s nonsense, the

only time things have got louder is since they have all been stuck at home for 7 weeks! Bobbie’s a bit

worried the woman will put in a complaint to the housing association, but her other neighbour (Bobbie lives

in a semi-detached 3 bedroom house and the complaint has come from the house she shares a wall with)

told her not to worry as the other neighbour is always looking for something to complain about.

I’ve offered to go over and stay a couple of nights to help entertain the kids if Bobbie finds it a struggle

again after Neil leaves. I rarely go out and don’t come into contact with anyone other than Sarah, so

probably pose less risk that Neil does, who is always out and about. Andrew just won’t let her out of his

sight for long! He's fine if Bobbie is in the kitchen as he can go and look through the baby gate to see she’s

still there, but if she goes to the loo he wants to go with her. Now the neighbour has complained, knowing

Bobbie, she'll be doing even more to make sure he doesn’t start crying. He's definitely reached the “te rrible

two's” a little early.

THURSDAY 14/05/20 -12:45

The new games I have are definitely having an effect on the length of these entries! Sarah is at work today

and I hope she is alright as she had a panic attack yesterday. She had planned to go to the chemist to pick

up her prescription and then go and see her dad in his garden for a while. About 20 minutes before she

was due to leave, she suddenly started to have a racing pulse, feeling really anxious and had difficulty

keeping her breathing under control. After cancelling her plans, Sarah started to feel better, although had

another much milder one a bit later. Sarah has always been a bit anxious out where’s there are a lot of

people, but I think the stress of lockdown and of not seeing Bobbie and the grandchildren is also taking a

big toll. I know she really worries about how Bobbie is coping and normally we would be there like a shot to

help out, as has happened when various emergencies have cropped up over the years. This time it’s

different though, because you can’t do anything. The comfort you’d usually get in a difficult situation by

feeling useful and being able to help isn’t there this time. I think that’s part of why this feels so surreal,

mixed with the feeling of being in some apocalyptic “B” movie.

FRIDAY 15/05/20 -23:00

Bobbie wasn’t going to say anything to Neil about missing Andrew’s 2nd birthday, but got annoyed with him

today and told him she would never miss one of the kids birthdays (he was going to get £85) and he's

thought about it and decided not to go after all. He lives at home with his mum and stepdad and doesn’t

pay any board, so I’m not sure why he's always so keen to get a little extra money.

Teachers Unions seem unhappy with the plan to try and open schools for the youngest children by 1st

June. The current plan is to limit class sizes to 15 and try and avoid different classes coming into contact

with each other. My (rather cynical?) guess is that some Government statistics point to providing child care

for that age group would allow the most people back to work.

There’s also rumblings about the reintroduction of the Congestion Charge in London and the plan to

increase it to £15 a day. Especially as people are being asked to avoid public transport if they possibly can.

Again, I think it’s probably linked to the huge bailout the Government has just given London Transport to

keep them afloat. With bus and rail income a fraction of what it was, they were in danger of running out of

money.

I spent a while this evening putting together one of Andrew’s birthday presents for tomorrow. It’s a little red

cart he can out stuff in and pull along behind him. Little is the key word! Sarah saw a large one on an

American reality TV show and bought one online without really looking at the details and dimensions. It’s

about 14 inches long, but does look very well made, with a powder coated metal body. It should be just the

right size for him to use, but I don’t think it is quite what Sarah had in mind when she ordered it.

SATURDAY 16/05/20 – ANDREW’S BIRTHDAY 13:45

Andrew’s toys are put together (they always seem to require “adult assembly”) and are wrapped ready to

go. We're going over there a little later to watch him open them through the lounge window and share some

birthday cake.

LATER THAT SAME DAY – 23:00

We went over to Bobbie’s about 15:00ish and she had the garden chairs already out waiting for us. Andrew

now seems to have got the hang of the fact we go round but don’t go into the house. He climbed up on to

the window sill and yelled out “Hello Nanny, hello Daddy.”. I tried to get him to say “grandad” but he wasn’t

having it at all. He seemed to like his pull along wagon and the sit on tractor we got him and has got the

hang of unwrapping presents, much to the annoyance of the other two who wanted to “help”.

Beth is still being very emotional at the moment and Bobbie says she hasn’t wanted to take part in the

group video calls with the rest of her class. She burst into tears a few times while we were there, over silly

little things that normally wouldn’t bother her. Oliver and Andrew argued about who’s turn it was to play with

the new tractor, so much so we are going to get him one too.

Bobbie had done a selection of party food, which she dished up and put out on the wall for us to pick up.

Lots of finger foods like mini sausages, sausage rolls, crispy spring rolls, pizza etc. which was all very nice.

Andrew kept wanting to pass more food out of the window to us and also brought some of his new toys

over to the window for us to have a look at. We also got to have a good chat with Bobbie as Neil was there

to help keep the kids busy. We stayed about 45 minutes and then came home. As soon as we got home,

Bobbie rang to say she had forgotten to do the birthday cake, which is a pity as she makes a nice Victoria

sponge for the children’s birthdays.

So, it was another lockdown birthday, I wonder when we will get to celebrate one properly? The next two

family birthdays are in June, with Sarah’s on the 2nd and Beth’s on the 14th. I hope we can get together by

Beth’s birthday at least. It’s always lovely to see them all, but it’s sad too as we're used to seeing them all

the time and now we suddenly see changes as they grow. Andrew is speaking a lot more now, pointing out

the things he likes to us.

Picture of Andrew enjoying opening his birthday gifts, with the ‘help’ of Beth and Oliver (removed for

anonymity)

TUESDAY 19/05/20 – 22:00

I really feel like I’ve hit a “lockdown wall” this week and have been feeling very out of sorts. Sarah hasn’t

been feeling well either, with a really bad cough over the weekend. She was worried enough to call 111

who in turn, directed her to call our GP. They rang back and did a telephone consultation. Of course,

without having a test, it’s impossible to tell if it is a cold or anything more serious, but because she works

with Dan, she has been signed off work until Sunday.

Neil is staying over with Bobbie for a little longer, so she is making the most of having the extra help. The

weather has turned much warmer again, so they have all been out in the garden most of the time. Bobbie

got a new paddling pool that you can attach the hose to and it sends out a fine spray. Oliver took a while

before he’d run through it as he doesn’t really like getting his face wet. Andrew still won’t go nea r it when

the spray is on.

I wonder if we will ever go back to the Friday baby group we used to go to? It was run by a husband and

wife team at various village halls on different days.

Thursday 21/05/20 – 22:20

I’m finally feeling a bit better today. I think eating the party food when we went to see Andrew is what set

my toothache off again and having toothache really tipped my mood from being a little off to down. I don’t

think the wacked out feeling from having to take codeine is helping either.

Looking at the pictures online, there seem to be crowds flocking to the beaches as the weather has kept

getting warmer. It’s been well into the mid 20°c and the new Government guidelines allow people to travel

for their outdoor activities, so the beaches and similar beauty spots have been attracting a lot of people.

The problems have been made worse by the fact local carparks haven’t all opened back up yet, leading to

congestion. The infection rate has dropped, but I really hope this doesn’t end up being a backwards step.

I also wonder what the wider psychological effect of these restrictions and associated worry will be?

There’s going to be a lot of people who have lost a lot, through no fault of their own. Even just having to

stay away from those we're close to is difficult enough. Sarah’s dad seems to be coping alright, despite not

seeing anyone properly since the most vulnerable were asked to shield, which I think was a week before

lockdown proper started. It’s becoming more difficult to be tolerant of those who aren’t sticking to the rules,

especially if that might mean longer lasting restrictions for the rest of us.

As Sarah had a bad cough earlier in the week and works as a carer, she is eligible for a covid19 test. She

thought she had to wait until she was symptom free, rather than booking one straight away. Sarah realised

her mistake when talking to a workmate on the phone, then asking me about it, so booked a test online.

They sent a code to her phone which she had to enter into the NHS website. The closest center is in

Stratford, which is only 17 miles away and her appointment is tomorrow afternoon. Not a bad service, in my

opinion.

FRIDAY 22/05/20 – 22:00

Sarah had her covid19 test today and I went along for moral support. It was all really easy and efficient. As

I mentioned, the nearest test center is only about 20 mile away in the college car park in Stratford. It was

run by three guys in Army uniform. The first used a smartphone to scan the QR code Sarah was sent

yesterday and talked her through the process. You next pull up to a table where a test pack is scanned and

linked to your QR code and the second soldier explains the contents of the pack and how to take the swab.

Sarah had to run a swab over the back of her throat for 10 seconds and then insert it into her nostril for a

further 10 seconds. The swab is broken off into a test tube with a barcode. That’s placed in a bag and

wiped down and then into a second bag, labelled with the barcode and sealed and wiped down. Finally, you

drive to a third point, where the bag is scanned and dropped into a collection box. Everyone was wearing

PPE and Sarah only had to wind down her window an inch or so to pass the test kit back and forth. They

text through the result within three days.

I’m not sure if I’ve already mentioned that I spent a few years living in Brazil when I was younger. Dad’s

work took us out there when I was 11 for a couple of years, so I always take an interest in the news from

that part of the world. It seems Latin America in general and Brazil in particular are seeing really sharp rises

in the number of infections. Brazil has been hampered by having a president that seems even more willfully

ignorant than Donald Trump! São Paulo, where we used to live, is close to seeing it’s hospital system

overwhelmed as there has been few restrictions with little compliance. With limited access to good

healthcare across the region it seems that it will be the next pandemic hotspot.

Trump is still talking up the supposed benefits of taking Hydroxychloroquine as a way of preventing

catching the virus, despite warnings against taking it from the FDA, unless as part of a clinical trial in

hospital. He has claimed that he has been taking it for the last 2 weeks. The prescription rate in the USA for

the drug are 80% higher than this time last year. It shows that people do listen to and follow what he says.

It also puts pressure on those around him who should be speaking out against such an approach, but can’t

outright advise against taking Hydroxychloroquine because they know that will anger Trump. As America

starts to open up again, several States are starting to see an escalation in new infections. Five States have

seen cases rise by over 50% over the last week.

Two American astronauts are due to launch for a tour on the International Space Station next week and for

the first time since the Space Shuttle Program ended, will launch from the USA. It will also be the crewed

flight of the commercially built capsule that will carry them. That is, if it goes ahead as I was reading that the

final review hasn’t been concluded as expected. It’s still a long way from the space tourism that books I

read as a child in the '70's promised, following the optimism of the Apollo Moon landings, but it’s an

important step on the road to commercial space flight. The other bit is space flight news, Virgin Orbital is

getting ready for it’s first test launch. Designed to put smaller payloads into NEO, it’s unique in that the

rocket is dropped from a specially adapted Boeing 747 at high altitude. That means it is already in much

thinner air when it’s engine fires a few seconds after it is released. The less air pressure, the more efficient

a rocket motor behaves and the easier it is to accelerate. All this means they can hopefully achieve orbit

with a much smaller rocket compared to a traditional ground launch.

SATURDAY 23/05/20 – 22:00

Sarah got the result of her covid test today, which was negative. I don’t think that’s too bad a service as the

text arrived this morning, so about 18-19 hours after taking the test. It has also given us a rare opportunity.

Neither Sarah or I have been in contact with anyone since she took the test and if Sarah is negative, it

means I am too as I don’t have contact with anyone outside the house. If we go shopping, I sit in the car

and Sarah will go in and get what we need. The upshot of all that is, we're going to see Bobbie and the

children tomorrow, before Sarah starts back at work and we can’t be certain we’re clear anymore. It'll be

great to see them for the first time in two months!

I may also be going over to stay for a few days soon. Neil had been staying there, but has got himself a

temporary job with Amazon, whilst he's furloughed from his regular job at an auction house. Three under

6’s, with no school, nursery and nowhere to go, Bobbie has been worn out doing so much herself. As my

only contact with the outside world is Sarah and Sarah is always careful, I’m low risk when it comes to

helping her. Normally the kids would be able to travel between two households where there is shared

custody and due to my lack of outside contact, this must be at least as safe. It will mean Bobbie can go

shopping, get on with things about the house, while I keep the kids from upsetting each other.

Trump is back in the news again, throwing his considerable weight about. This time he has decreed that all

churches in the USA must be open this weekend and he claims he will over rule State Governors if they

refuse. Whether or not he actually has the power to do that will no doubt be a matter for the courts as

churches are still closed in some States. According to CNN he doesn’t have the power as, unless a power

is specifically handed over to the Federal Government, those powers remain in the control of the individual

States.

Dominic Cummings, the Government “advisor” has been in the headlines as well. When his wife had

covid19 and he'd just tested positive himself, he packs up the whole family and drives them to the other end

of the country to be close to family!?! It betrays the arrogance of some parts of this Government who

believe they live in a different world to those their decisions really affect. Makes my blood boil! It would

have made life so much easier if we'd gone back and forward to Bobbie’s as we felt like it, or had the

children here to stay to give her a break, but we didn’t. The only reason we have a chance to see them is

because of the rather unique circumstance of knowing we're clear. Cummings isn’t even apologising for his

actions (which were a week or so before Johnson was admitted to hospital) instead sticking to the “I did

nothing wrong” approach. Once again, I suspect that reflects some rather deep personality traits.

The number of cases in some US States have started to rise again as the restrictions are eased. Their

death toll currently stands at 96,662 and I fear it will start to rise quickly again due to the desire to open up

the economy too quickly. I also wonder what is really happening in India as, despite the almost perfect

conditions for a pandemic to spread, they seem to have controlled their numbers fairly well. At least, that’s

my perception from what I’ve read and seen in the media. I might have to have a look at some more

sources to see if reality fits that perception.

NASA has given the go ahead for the Space X Dragon crewed launch to the ISS on Wednesday. No

mention was made as to why the flight readiness review didn’t initially sign off on the mission. It’s quite

amazing to think that a privately developed and built launch vehicle and crew capsule will be launching in a

few days time. Space Ship One managed to win the X Prize back in 2004, with it’s two suborbital hope.

We're still waiting for that technology to see commercial results from Virgin Galactic. The Space X stack will

carry two astronauts into orbit, while the first stage returns to the ground in a controlled landing to be

reused. I bet they are being rather careful to make sure no trace of coronavirus finds its way to the ISS.

SUNDAY 24/05/20 – 22:30

We had a very nice afternoon this afternoon. Taking advantage of Sarah’s test result before she goes back

to work and mixes with people again, we went to see Bobbie and the grandchildren. We got there just after

their lunch, around 12:30 and Bobbie had them out in the back garden so they wouldn’t see us pull up . She

left the front door on the latch for us and we text her, just as we got to the village. As soon as we were sat

in the lounge she called Beth, Oliver and Andrew in, saying she had something to show them in the living

room. They all stopped as soon as they saw us for a moment, then came rushing over for cuddles. Even

Oliver, who isn’t usually one to be overly affectionate with anyone other than his mum or dad. Beth gave

Sarah a big hug then jumped on my lap, threw her arms around me, buried her head in my neck and

started to cry. She assured us they were “happy tears” and we did the best we could to explain that this

was a one off and next time we would have to see them through the windows, as before.

We stayed until late afternoon, partly inside but mostly sat outside enjoying the sunshine in the back

garden. Beth got me to go and play for a while and she told me she can’t wait until she can come over here

again and make more slime! Andrew’s speech has really come on and he’s now stringing several words

together to explain what he wants to get across. He kept giving us big grins and coming across to hug

either Sarah or I. He was still insisting on calling me “dadda” rather than “dandad” as he used to. Oliver was

keen to show off how fast he can go up and down the garden on his balance bike. It has no peddles, so he

just scoots it along with his legs, but had his feet off the ground for quite a while, once he got going. Beth

also has a new skill, riding her bike without the stabilizers fitted. She was also showing off her two bottom

front teeth, which are growing through nicely. Beth declared it “the best day ever!”.

Boris Johnson chaired the daily Coronavirus Briefing today and started by giving his support to Dominic

Cummings. Although, further reports have suggested he broke the lockdown guidelines more than on ce.

BoJo also announced that schools that can be ready in time will open for reception, Year 1 and Year 6 on

the 1st June. I can’t see either part of the briefing going down especially well with most people.

It sounds like the people that live directly opposite, across the road from us are having a small garden party

this evening. Hopefully, they are being sensible about things, as there is still every chance for the infection

rate to start creeping back up again as restrictions ease and people start to relax a bit more. I think, in

general, the level of public support for measures that would normally have seen people take to the streets

in protest has been amazingly high. Hindsight will be a better judge, but people are still not complaining too

loudly about having to queue outside to get into a super market, or stand on the yellow circles, 2m apart,

when waiting to pay. I'm sure, had there been any demonstrations that weren’t reported for reasons of

National Security, word would have spread through social media. The only unrest about restrictions I recall

seeing has all been in America.

MONDAY 25/05/20 – 22:00

It’s a Bank Holiday today and the weather is warm and bright, so there will no doubt be plenty of big crowds

at the holiday spots once again. The last Holiday weekend caused issues as most public toilets had been

closed down, with some nasty results.

There has also been some more details about lifting restrictions, with non essential retailers allowed to

open in two weeks time, as long as they are able to put social distancing rules in place. Teachers Unions

are still voicing their concerns about schools taking back some children from Monday. I don’t know if

Bobbie has made up her mind if she is going to send Beth back or not. I can understand her concerns, but

would Beth be better off in the long run back with her friends?

Bobbie is struggling a bit again and so I am going to go over and stay for a couple of days and help out.

The plan is, I go over Wednesday afternoon and come back Friday afternoon. Sarah won’t come in as she

is now back at work, but they haven’t been out and neither have I, so there’s only a tiny risk of spreading

infection.

Which reminds me, Dominic Cummings gave an interview today to defend his trip from London up to near

Durham and to Barnard’s Castle. He says it was essential, so his child could be cared for by relatives whilst

he and his wife had Covid19. I think he’s really misjudged the public mood about it, especially as it

happened so early in the lockdown. I suspect he would have had some sympathy with being apologetic,

saying with hindsight he realizes it looks bad when it’s a Government advisor, when that Government were

asking people to make big sacrifices. Instead he is saying he acted perfectly reasonably and with in the law

and the press are being jolly mean for political reasons. I’m sure he has a point, I’d love to see the back of

the eugenics loving little Nazi for political reasons. But when you are in the position, it’s all the more

important your behavior is and is seen to be, above reproach. Some parts of the European press are

having a field day, suggesting that it’s Cummings not Johnson that really holds the power behind this

Government. Let’s not forget Cummings was a key player in the underhanded Brexit referendum as well as

having been reported as behind the slow response to the pandemic here. It’s increasingly clear that the

lockdown came at least a week too late, especially as the first week was only advisory, with pubs, clubs

gyms etc. still open.

The anti-malaria drug that Trump has been promoting since he first started to accept that the pandemic

was real, has had it’s WHO trials halted over safety concerns. Death rates were higher amongst those who

took the drug and there were a number of patients who had other complications from taking it – eg heart

rhythm issues. I’m sure Trump will see this as a personal attack aimed at him. It will be interesting to see

his response, if he gives one.

I’ve been keeping my eye on space news as usual and Virgin Orbital had a kind of successful maiden

launch of their new rocket. It was dropped from the Jumbo Jet and the engine ignited, which were the goals

of the test. However, the rocket was destroyed a few seconds later by an abort command from the Range

Officer. That suggests to me that it either a problem with guidance, once the engine fired, or the ignition

occurred when the vehicle was at the wrong angle. Officially all the test goals were met, but obviously

Virgin had hoped to get more data from a longer flight. There was a dummy payload that could have been

placed in orbit had everything gone smoothly, but first flights are seldom uneventful! Hopefully the long

uncrewed launch history of thee Falcon will mean the first crew will have a much more successful maiden

flight on Wednesday.

SATURDAY 30/05/20 – 20:00

A few days later…. Bobbie has been struggling a little with three children under 6 in the house and without

her normal support network. She has been doing a great job, but is getting more and more tired as she tries

to juggle the three little ones as well as cooking, cleaning and everything else that’s involved in being the

only adult. Neil did spend some time there, but has got himself a temporary job at the local Amazon

Delivery Center. He has been getting 80% of his wages, but has a lot of monthly outgoings for things he’s

bought.

So, despite being against the lockdown rules, but on the grounds that my only contact with the outside

world is Sarah who recently tested negative for covid19 and has few outside contacts herself, I went over to

stay. Sarah dropped me off (but didn’t come in herself) on Wednesday afternoon and picked me up again

on Friday afternoon. Andrew just couldn’t understand why Sarah couldn’t come in too. He stood at the gate

in floods of tears calling “Nanny, Nanny.”. Sarah later said she cried most of the way home.

The rest of Wednesday afternoon was spent out in the garden as it’s been really good weather for May

(24°c – 25°c). Bobbie had the paddling pool and splash mat out and the kids were all in their swimming

costumes and plastered in Factor 50 sun cream. Bobbie had spoken to Beth about my having to share my

time between all of them and she coped really well. I saw her start to get a little sulky a couple of times,

when the boys came to join in with something we were doing. But each time she took herself off for a

couple of minutes, before coming back to join in.

Andrew has really developed a lot over the last couple of months. His speech has really come on and he

can count to four and string several words together to explain what he means. He still insists on calling me

daddy every time he spoke to me. I tried to correct him every time, but in the end gave up and let it slide

some of the time. I’m worried that, once lockdown is over, he will call me it in front of Neil which could really

hurt his feelings. Andrew had a huge grin on his face every time he repeated “daddy!” after I corrected him.

The first night I was there, Bobbie went out to do some shopping after the two boys went to bed which

meant Beth got to spend an hour or so with just the two of us. We played with her LOL dolls and dollhouse

and she also painted my finger nails. The second night, which was Thursday, Bobbie and Beth have a “girls

night” and go out with the rest of the cul-de-sac for the NHS clap. I read the boys their bed time stories and

we kept the routine the same and started watching the film “Goosebumps” until 8 when we stopped and

went out to clap. There is a really nice atmosphere there as everyone in the cul-de-sac knows each other.

We watched the rest of the film and as Beth sleeps in with Bobbie on Thursday nights and Bobbie had

given up her bed for me, Beth slept with me, which she loves.

Friday was another really hot day, so we were out in the garden playing again. Oliver was “diving for

treasure” in the paddling pool, by holding his breath, cheeks puffed out, carefully putting his chin under the

water and feeling about for his toys. He hates getting his face wet. The kids seemed better when Sarah

came to pick me up but Bobbie said they were all a bit sad when I left.

Oliver, Andrew & Beth eating ice cream on a picnic blanket in the sunny garden. Picture removed for

anonymity

Sarah is on holiday this week as it is her birthday on Tuesday and is going to isolate all week and assuming

that she doesn’t show any symptoms, she is going to go and stay with Bobbie for a couple of days at the

end of the week. Again, this isn’t within the rules, but we are trying to use common sense so we can

support Bobbie. After all, Cummings travelled hundreds of miles whilst his wife actually had Covid19!

The Government seems to have given up following the scientific advice regarding lockdown regulations. A

Government scientific advisor has gone on record saying that the restrictions are being lifted too early and

they are being driven by political rather than public health considerations. America is also seeing large

crowds gathering to protest the killing of yet another unarmed black man by a policeman. It’s been a couple

of weeks since the States stared to own up, so any changes to the rates of infection as a result should start

to show up soon.

Trump has now formally cut all links with the WHO which will make a huge dent in their global budget, just

as infections and deaths are rising in India and Central America. It seems almost criminally irresponsible.

Sadly, he could do a lot more damage before the next Election in November and, hopefully, the swearing in

of a different President in January.

SUNDAY 31/05/20 – 23:00

How can it be almost half way through the year already?!?

It seems the decision to reopen schools for Reception, Year 1 & Year 6 has really angered a lot of people

as a couple of members of the scientific advice team have publicly stated that lockdown restrictions are

being lifted for political reasons rather than because the infection rate is at a low enough level. Along with

the ongoing saga of Dominic Cummings breaking the rules over lockdown and his edited blog where he

inserted a “prediction” about coronavirus (after he had recovered from covid19 himself), there is a growing

feeling that the Government has got things badly wrong.

There have been scenes of packed beaches and people closely packed together both here and in America

as people demonstrate and protest after the killing of an unarmed black man, George Floyd. He had been

stopped on suspicion of passing a bad cheque and the arresting officer put his knee on Mr Floyd’s neck for

9 minutes, killing him in the process. Trump, who seemed perfectly willing to turn a blind eye a couple of

weeks ago when armed protests about lockdown restrictions, has responded by claiming he is going to list

the anti-nazi movement as a terrorist organisation. It really does beggar belief.

I’m also taking part in Alistair Cambells project to collect replies from MPs to letters expressing concern

about Cummings behaviour. I'll add a copy of what I sent below as it is relevant to the pandemic.

It’s no wonder that I’ve been feeling that watching the news has been having a negative effect on my

Mental Health. I really fear that we will see a second wave of infections later in the Summer because the

lockdown restrictions are being lifted too quickly and the contract tracing isn’t properly in place yet. When it

comes to the Government, my overwhelming feeling is of having been badly let down by their response…