Corona Diaries

Roz

“I hope people will demand a better work life balance, I hope we stop flying everywhere for meetings, I

hope we can refocus back on the climate of urgency, I hope will get a vaccine. I hope we can cuddle our

children.”

Background Information

Female, aged 64-74, Writer, North London, White British, Married to Peter, Two adult children,

Heterosexual.

March – First Diary Entry

We entered 2020 with huge excitement. We have big plans, launch of my novel in April 2020, Peter's 60th

birthday with a trip too Lille in May, Rome of Florence, Rugby in March, and of course Meryl’s wedding in

September. Other things too our ‘Writers for the World’ events and the possible/ probable launch of my next

poetry collection, a trip to Portugal in July, and my novel launching in other countries and then...

The first I knew of the awful virus we heard that it might not stay in China was the 8th of February 2020. I

was doing a reading of Ally Pally Prison Camp to the History Society at the Church Hall. There was a sign

on the door saying that the Wednesday Chinese community lunches would be cancelled until further notice

because of the virus. And there was a bottle of hand sanitizer on the lobby table. I was surprised.

Films watched:

The lighthouse (bad choice)

The laundromat (good choice)

Always be my Maybe (light, funny a shock to

remember reality)

Rain Man (1989 Oscar)

Rushmore (Wes Anderson’s 1st. Not best)

The Life Aquatic (though real life is less

believable)

Driving Miss Daisy (1989 Oscar)

Roman J Israel Esq (Implausible plot)

Unforgiven (Oscar winning – why?)

Seraphina (lovely, French film)

The English patients – Oscar

Trans-Siberian – nasty, violent drug film

The King’s Speech – Oscar so strong

Fast forward to normal life throughout February: to the seaside home on weekdays or back to London for

weekends. Lunches with the FLN mentees, the Apple Head group, choir, South Enlgand Lit fest, meetings

with Jason Owen [Maria’s son] and Dennis Gravell [our accountant] visit friends’ houses to begin research

for next novel. Peter went to visit his mum from 26th of February to 1st March. I judged a Poetry

competition and we has an adjudication at which I shook hands and hugged people, and it didn’t seem odd

at all. Then came March. I started a pilates class and there were nervous jokes about the virus. We held a

music and writer for the world event at Church on March 8th. Many people still shook hands, kissing had

changed to hugs. About half of the expected number of people attended, but we still didn't see what was

coming down the tracks. My doctor friend said she just couldn't get too excited about it.

National Theatre live at home:

• One man, two guvnors – stage acting looks a bit hammy on TV

• Joseph and technicolour dream coat - terrible!

• Frankenstein – with Benedict Cumberbatch as ‘the creature’, astonishing adaptation and production. Must have been mesmerising in theatre, astonishing at home.

• The arrest of Ai Wei Wei – I liked it more than Peter

• Hamilton – Marvellous

• Rite of spring – dress rehearsal filmed on darker beach. Amazing

It was the last week of normality, a few of us went to a cafe for the Apple Head group and we hugged as we

parted. On March 13th, we had a Poet group meeting at Becky’s, it's just five of us rather than the usual 15,

and by now doing self-conscious elbow bumps. But, still sitting closely round the table and handing papers

around. One person thought her husband might be getting it, and she was coughing herself. By now the

panic shopping was beginning, as people empty the shops of toilet all. [my GP friend said ‘it’s not

dysentery’]

On Saturday the 14th of March, Joanne and Meryl came to our house to look at a wedding dress Meryl had

bought online. We had scones [made by me] on champagne to the celebrate Meryl’s new job, we didn't hug

each other.

Books read:

• Melmoth - Sarah Perry

• Mr Loveman - Bernadine Evansto

• Rose petal summer - Joan Fforde (Because she is interviewing me)

• For whom the Bell Tolls (research)

Astonished I am reading so little, so much less than usual. Realise it's because I’m spending so many

hours a day on social media, Facebook and Twitter, and responding to WhatsApp messages and seeing

hundreds of wonderful creative videos people are making. That plus diary writing, yoga, walking, talking to

friends, trying to call one person who I know is isolating alone every day.

On Sunday 15th of March, we moved to Sunnyside for the duration until we can see our children aga in. In

the first few days we ridiculously bad at self-isolating. We went to the shops for a big shop then up and

down the road every day to pick up things we'd forgotten. I'd written to Meryl’s CEO as he was still having

visitors from Italy. On the 16th of March she went into close the office. Joanne was still supposed to be

cross in London to go to work in university but refused. By midweek they were shut. Thursday 19th of

march book shop to cancel my book launch. The shelves were being cleared as everyone stocked up.

There was a woman coughing in there. I left rapidly. There was also a man coughing in Sainsbury's on

Saturday the 21st of March and I almost had a meltdown in my urgency to get home. That night the pubs

were closed, and Peter went to the off license in his house trousers because I had washed his jeans, to get

emergency beer. Over the weekend droves of young people came to Sunnyside and add parties on the

beach. Also, to Devon and Cornwall.

TV series

• Belgravia – distracting

• The repair shop – calming, uplifting, metaphorical, some things can be mended

• Stuart Lee - comedy

• Have I got news for you – comedy

• Endeavour (Young inspector mouse)

• Morocco – love in the Peter of war (Spanish series)

• Quiz (the people who cheated at who wants to be a millionaire)

• Grayson Perry’s art club – glorious, delightful, inspiring

• Vienna Blood – crime thing

• Wild Cuba – documentary

It was even quite busy on Saturday, so on Sunday we went and walked about 6 miles. On Monday the 23rd

of March the Prime Minister said because of cause of behaviour at the weekend, now nobody was allowed

to leave their homes except to buy food, medicines and have one daily exercise. People are not allowed to

congregate in more than twos, apart from family groups.

We made a mad dash back to London at 9:30 PM to get food, clothes, medicine, books which will get us

through the siege. We arrived back in Sunnyside at 2:00 AM and had blown multiple holes in the exhaust.

Books read

• The last year of the war – Susan Meissener

• On wilder seas – Nikki Mamery

• No news poetry anthology Jacqueline Sapha ‘ Poems for Arlenesia’

• Marin Thompson – Road trip

• And they called it Camelot – Stephanie Marie Thomton

• Victoria Field – The speech of birds

• Bernadine Evanisto – ‘Girl, woman, other’

• ‘kindred’- Octavia E Butler

• ‘ The dispossesed’ – Ursula LeGuinn

• Masher and Commander – Patrick O’Brien

• What I loved – Siri Hustvedt

• Speer-enduring – Nicola Griffith

Screen Time

So this is where the screen time goes. Horrified. I'd love to compare February with March but it doesn't go

back that far. I'm guessed it peaked in March with the news obsession hundreds of videos circulating but:

April 13th to 20th I spent 2 hours and 48 minutes a day on my phone.

April 20th to 27th 2 hours and 18 minutes a day

April 28th to the start of May 2 hours and 7 minutes a day (actually, realised I do my yoga my phone some

days, so maybe not quite so bad full extracted myself from one WhatsApp group)

3rd - 10th of May my daily average was 1 hour 40 minutes on my phone and in June 51 minutes a day after

I broke my wrist.

During the week my book launch and my Sunnyside launch of the ‘PW’ were both cancelled, very sad, and

that I won’t now see my lovely hardback book face up on the tables in big bookshops, because all the book

shops are closed and by the time they reopen there will be other new books. Trying to keep it all in

perspective, but rather [ie very] disappointing.

On Tuesday the 24th of March Peter took the car to Kwik fit for a new exhaust and we went for a walk on

Woodland Walk. We got our first veg box delivered very exciting. On Mother’s day, March 22 nd we had a

virtual brunch with Joanne, Emyr, Meryl and Steve through an app called ‘house party’. All had a good

laugh, and lovely to see them all. We've had some wonderful walks in woods along the beach. Wild violets,

a peacock butterfly, cherries in bloom, a really lovely spring. We watched the news each evening and my

phone constantly pings the people sending funny videos and information most of which is a hoax.

TV Series:

• Pain, Pus and Poison – history of development of medicines

• Gardener’s world

• Micheal Portillo on Empire

• Hospital - Royal Free with COVID-19

• Ambulance

• Space force

• The luminaries

• The Salisbury poisonings

• Mrs America – stunningly good

• Detectorists – funny

• When Peter's away I watch Outlander

So far, the people I know have got it, thought are untested / unconfirmed all is Helen, Kay, Alun, Mark,

Sasha, Dorothy, Rhian, Tansy and poets Alwyn Marriage and Jennifer Peterston. Thankfully none of them

seemed to have it too badly. Peter is finishing his I Spy W is for Sunnyside book and I'm beginning my

research for my Spanish civil war book. Trying to exercise each day and keep pretty much to our normal

routine of going over outside bedrooms to work and coming together for lunch, having a walk and then

going back to work until tea. I'm trying to organise a virtual launch.

Films

• I'm not an easy man - very silly French film about gender

• Ladies in black – Aussie

• feel good – charming

• Shakespeare in love

• Forrest Gump

• A bigger splash

• Emma

• Puzzle

• Animal farm, it was a cartoon I didn't finish

Things you cannot do with one hand

• Eat grapefruit

• Blow dry hair

• Swim

• Ironing

• Fasten watch strap, necklace and earrings

• Washing up and most housework

• Cutting up own food

• Driving

• Fold sheets, throws

I've read all the letters I sent home from university. Also, reading Melmoth and Bernadine’s loverman. More

than enough to keep busy in a very well stocked fridge on freezer. Poor Rose and Shannon had letters

telling them they must leave the house for three months. Frightening. I've talked to Tansy and Kim and

we've done ‘house party’ with Jackie. Keep thinking I have a sore throat and using Coldzyne, will be quite

glad when we have all properly isolated for a fortnight, as my asthma is a bit of a worry.

Last night, Thursday the 26th of March, it was very moving, social media had spread the idea of everyone

in the country standing on doorsteps or at windows at 8:00 PM and clap for the NHS. Our bit of the street

was noisy with cheers, whistles, a bell ringing, dogs barking and a long round of applause. Unforgettable.

Earlier, I had been invited to attend the national poetry competition awards on an app called ‘zoom’. 75

people ‘joined in’ and we heard all the winners unread that poems. It worked amazingly well and I felt all

need to take part. Making some attempt to check the news less obsessively.

Weekend (28th/29th March)

This is how our understanding of our situation has changed. I was writing on every other page because it

seemed we might be locked down for three weeks. Now they're saying we may not return to normal for six

months. Suddenly it feels like the First World War “it'll all be over by Christmas”. Will it really be that long till

we see our children again? I feel so sad that this has interrupted their lives. Hoping so much the Meryl’s

wedding will still go ahead and September. The number of deaths keeps rising every day. It's hard not to

keep looking at the news, at twitter, the reading articles on why government failed to order more ventilators

etc. The Prime Minister and health chiefs and Prince Charles all have confirmed coronavirus. While

paramedics like Tansy haven't been tested. Infuriating. We are trying to make the weekends different from

weekdays, so didn't go to ‘offices’. Strong winds, walked in land on Saturday and battled against the wind

on Sunday. A lovely Sunday brunch on house party with the girls on Sunday. A few tears when we turned it

off. Long form chats with Sasha, Rose, Helen. Peter's mum joining us on Facetime, cooking, cleaning, daily

photo of a lovely thing on Instagram.

Monday 30th March

A knock on the door! A delivery man with two boxes of my hardback books! Hurray! I carefully opened them

with gloves wipe them over with Detol wipes! They have lovely end papers which I hadn't seen before. I

thought the graph them put it on social media, add to my website, and spent the rest of the morning on pre -

launch publicity emails. It feels wrong to be joyful when so many are suffering. But have to resist a real leap

of the heart. Our food and drink order from the off licence was delivered. We walked through Shipping,

crossing the road to avoid people. I talked to Tansy, just out of self-isolation, Meryl sent wedding dress

pictures. More people have died.

Tuesday 31st of March 2020

Began with my Pilates class on zoom. Had a background with the Golden Gate Bridge which I couldn't get

rid of! Every time I moved; my arm disappeared in the San Francisco Bay. Reading about Spanish civil war

trustees. Starting some tentative writing. Not sore at all, so I can do this. Shannon joined us on Face time

for lunch, and later I spoke to Helen. So very hard for those who live alone. A virtual book launch and zoom

now being organised for me, all these online means of communication help so much, despite the constant

interruptions. Another lovely see walk, though missing spring in our garden. Josephine and Patrick chat

tonight and watch Rain Man 1989 Oscar winner. So many people dying.

April

Wednesday the 1st of April 2020

Tried to call my brother to wish him a happy birthday. Poor connection. Try to book an online shopping

delivery, no slots at any shop. Tried to settle to research or write, too much noise in my head. Tried not to

read the news at all the time, failed. Subscribed to Guardian. Try to walk along the beach, kept having to

deviate to isolate. Like a ballet, in and out of the groves, down alone the low tide line. Try to do a zoom

meeting with Hugo, Patrick, Jake, Josh, Amelia and Luke. Amelia and Luke were having a meal and we

couldn't hear each other speak. Very stiff and odd. Try to find film we wanted to watch, started 3. Tomorrow

is another day.

Thursday 2nd of April 2020

50,000 people have died worldwide. And we know this is only the start. Political rows go on about who

didn't do what quickly enough. When we read the latest horrors to each other from our phones. And I do

yoga, and read about the Spanish civil war, and write a few lines which might become a chapter one. I plan

book publicity and fail to fix online food shopping. And we take our walk along empty streets with children’s

rainbow paintings in many windows. Tonight, we watched One Man 2 Governors. And clapped for the NHS.

And missed our girls so much.

Friday 3rd of April 2020

Last night we were reading news reports on articles in bed, and both became very upset and frightened for

those we love. So today we have new rule news in the morning and at 7:00 PM, no more. You feel so

helpless. Today mostly taken up with recording a panel discussion, a historical fiction panel, chaired by me.

For “My FF” (Film Festival) to go out on April 29th. (will we still be locked down then?). The recording

seemed to go well, once I'd moved about and found a suitable location. So, we had lunch and went for the

usual walk, dodging other walkers in both directions, while I thought of all the things, I wish I'd said, and all

the things I said which I wish I hadn't. Then, as we were coming home, I got a call from the organiser

saying the recording hadn't worked properly (we're all pretty new to the zoom technology). And could I be

home in 15 minutes to do it again. We power walked home, I got changed, move laptop back into position,

found my lippy, and off we went again. This time I remembered to mention the US addition but didn't say

that I'm researching the Spanish civil war. Better. Also videoed myself reading my children's poem. Talked

to Wendy, across the road came over with a shell with rainbow love painted on it. We need so much.

Saturday 4th April 2020

Another weekend and trying to make it different from a weekday (why?). So, porridge for breakfast not

grapefruit, no separating to our own office spaces, working in the garden, I washed and began to sand and

paint the outside of the toilet, bathroom and kitchen windows. We spoke to Josh and Rita on zoom, and

Helen / Emyr and Alex on facetime. For our walk on this glorious spring day, we pulled our wellies on and

went right down to the low-tide foreshore, close to the oyster beds. Hard going in the mud, but no people to

dodge. Meryl went over to our garden because Steven had a cold (we hope it’s just a cold). Watched ‘Have

I Got News For You’ and the Life Aquatic tonight.

Sunday 5th April 2020

Three weeks since we have seen friends or family face-to-face, hug-to-hug, heart-to-heart. But thankful for

social media which allowed us to have our ‘brunch’ with the girls. Also ‘joined’ them to watch Joseph…

Dreamcoat, this afternoon, which was hilariously terrible. How some things date. Also – I painted the

bathroom window. It was the most glorious warm day, and we had our first lunch outside. Need to shop

tomorrow – still have a number of main meal ingredients, but out of many basics such as bread and milk,

the fridge is empty. Not too many out and about on our walk, though pictures of crowded parks in London

and beaches in Brighton. Fearing that total lockdown may not be far off.

Monday 6th of April 2020

Furious with myself this morning went to the Co-op and failed put on my gloves! Scrub my hands furiously

on return, but a bit anxious now. And couldn't get most of what we needed, so Peter has to go to Iceland!

Lovely walk along Shipping slopes. Beautiful day. Sent out invitations to my zoom book launch on the 16th.

Peter went to Iceland, managed to buy all the things that I’d failed to get in my bare-handed, scarf-faced

rush around the Co-op. It is so quiet with no aeroplanes. The blackbird’s song seemed so loud. Few cars

moving around. Talked to Gemma Hopper. And did a ludicrously dysfunctional Skype choir practise. Boris

Johnson is intensive care. Italy Spain and Norway have falling death rates.

Tuesday 7th April 2020

Awake half the night, kicking myself my own stupidity at the shops yesterday. I wear gloves when I go for a

walk. Why on earth? This maybe the most beautiful spring in living memory. The world is in flower -the sky

unbroken blue, calm, lapping seas, birdsong. My Spanish civil war research now starting to slot together,

patterns and happy coincidences.

Problems and solutions.

Extra coat of paint to one window.

Fabulous walk along the West beach. Calm see, floating seagulls.

Gammon for tea, given to us by Luke next door. Delicious.

Amazing news from Penguin about sales in the supermarket and into Australia.

Lovely chat on Facetime with Josephine and Patrick and watched ‘driving miss Daisy,’, calm.

Wednesday 8th of April 2020

Stress! This morning Peter realised he'd missed his long-awaited appointment for an MRI scan for his

neuropathy. He called them they said come at 5:00 PM. So, though I wasn't happy about the risk of going

to hospital, we packed up the Sunnyside house and drove home. Then the girls got involved and

persuaded him he shouldn't go, the hospital were really nice about it. So here we are back in London. The

garden is superb, magnolias, camellias, tulips, the pear tree in blossom, we weeded a bit. Peter cut the

lawn, I sat outside and talked to Kim. Astonishing marketing plans by Penguin for my book, feel glad to be

home. Though will miss our lovely walks.

Thursday 9th of April 2020

A peaceful day, adapting our lockdown routine to London. So, yoga in the conservatory, breakfast, working

in study for morning, producing yet more pre-publicity materials, doing a tiny bit of research. Peter's

homemade soup for lunch from the garden. The garden is looking so lovely, pear blossom falling like snow.

Hung out some washing. Went for a one hour regulation more [in grave lands park, quite a lot of people,

but possible to keep two metres distance]. Then some gardening, weeding the camomile ‘lawn’. Then I

called Ann Griffiths who's had symptoms and is isolating. Meryl phoned. Peter had his usual couple of calls

to his mum. I watched Emma’s recorded All Saints session, we clap for the NHS. Watched two episodes of

‘Belgravia’.

Good Friday. 10th of April 2020

Such a joy each day to wake up and know you are symptom free, so far. Nothing taken for granted

anymore, health, food supplies, simple hugs and handshakes. World death now what 95,000. UK death toll

is 5373. It's looking pretty clear that government lockdown was too late and was not prepared with PPE and

testing equipment. Meanwhile, in our strange bubble I sorted out my winter clothes, did some ironing,

organised for Jenna’s son to use all beachcomber [in the first instance], made some laughably

unsuccessful yeast-free hot cross buns [no yeast to be had!]. We has a zoom practise with J + E, M + S

and Shannon. Also sat in garden with the back gate open and talked to Jenna and Jonny. Had our walk

down Anny Grove to see the Apple Heads. Watched two episodes of Belgravia.

Easter Saturday. 11th of April 2020

The glorious weather continues. The best spring, I can never remember, with temperatures of 25 degrees

Celsius in London today. We decided to try to beat the rush but going out for a walk at 10:00 AM today,

back streets and park, twice round the ‘football’ ground and home. Managed to avoid the joggers, cyclists

and dog walkers who stick to the paths. Garden day, window boxes and sweeping drive, weeding path,

Peter weeded for five hours before making homemade pesto, which tasted more of garlic and basil. A

brave attempt. I tried out various tops for my book launch, and had a long chat to Rose. Then we did a

zoom chat with Erin and Steven, read my book, watched a Horizon documentary on viruses and

pandemics, and had a laugh at ‘have I got news for you’.

Easter Sunday. 12th April 2020

The oddest Easter ever. I woke early and it was beautiful morning, no cars, no aeroplanes, just birdsong

and a big dog fox in the garden. [the terrifying sounds of Fox's making late last night, like a cat being torn

apart.] I drafted a poem, did calming yoga, listen to the morning service while tending my orchids. Croissant

for breakfast [rather than my usual half a grapefruit] and a four mile walk around the park. Police van

driving across the park. Then a day in the garden again, glorious sunshine, trimming, weeding. A long chat

with Tansy, and a short chat with Kim. At 4:00 PM a zoom chart with the kids. Lovely to see them, but how I

long to hold them in my arms. Well, one day at a time. Today Boris Johnson came out the hospital, UK

death toll 10,000, the world deaths 110,000. I have to remind myself constantly how lucky I am. Mail on

Sunday article I wrote about dad was published today, they cut everything about my novel.

Easter Monday. 13th of April 2020

They are calling it ‘blursday’, the sense of not knowing what day it is as they all seem to blend into one. But

I seem to have slowed down, so I could hardly say what we have done for hours on end. There are fixed

points: the yoga, the meal-time, the walk, the evening TV. Unslotted between them: news consumption

social media surfing, phone calls [today I called Emily and Chloe, both living alone]. I read for a while and

even did a bit of hovering and dusting. It was a bit too chilly for gardening. Peter helped me hang fleece in

the conservatory to act as a diffuser during my book launch, so the sun doesn't fall across me in stripes. He

felt tired and cold tonight. My article in the mail has gone down well with old friends. On our walk we saw

Julian and he read it. Paulina has had COVID-19. Sense of separation, trapped behind the screen.

Tuesday 14th of April 2020

Very much in the world of my own bubble today, as my publication day approaches. Another beautiful

spring day. And no let-up in the terrible news. But here: yoga, breakfast, email and some poetry business,

then preparing my set and sell for interview by Joan. I read her latest novel over the weekend and so was

able to have a lovely chat with her over zoom. Very enjoyable. Afterwards tiny bit of gardening, a walk,

more emails. Sausages and cheesy leeks for tea, delicious. Simnel cake left on the doorstep by Jenna next

door. Then tonight a ‘zoom’ meeting with our Apple Head group. How very privileged I am.

Wednesday the 15th of April 2020

The days melt into one another and melt away, a kind of lethargy is falling over us we can't be bothered to

do all the jobs which we claim we had no time for before. Today is publication day minus one, so lots of

emails and phone calls about launch party and Daily Express article. Then we went over to Sainsbury's.

Peter went in while I waited in the car park [not sure why I went at all]. People queued at 3 metre distances

around the car park, he was inside for an hour and a half, but come over weeks’ worth of food. [and two

reduced price Easter eggs]. Then we picked up the Micra from Meryl's and took the Peugeot for a MOT.

Walked in big open space behind the Wheatstone. Came home, more emails, back to pick up car.

Expensive day £200 food and £370 on the car. A little potter in the garden. The glorious weather continues.

Watch the repair shop again tonight and spoke to Emma.

Thursday 16th of April 2020

Book launch day! At last! And though it wasn't as it would have been, with parties at Boating books in

Sunnyside and D Books in London and afternoon tea with Celyn... I felt so lucky that in these difficult times

it was still possible to come together with people in the virtual realm and have such joy. The day itself:

hanging out washing in glorious sunshine, emails, prepping my lighting rig for filming (step ladder, book pile

and angle poise). Meryl needed to headphones, so we took a walk down to her house in Greener Grass.

The air seemed so perfumed today – blossom and choisya in every garden. (And at lunch time in the

garden the birdsong was sublime). Hot cross buns, shower and it was time for my virtual launch on zoom,

facilitated by marketing manager. 86 ‘households’ of people logged in. Harper introduced me and said nice

things, then K from New York said more nice things. Then I said lots of thank yous and talked about how

lucky I am. Then read the prologue and did a Q&A. It all went by in a flash. Dinner ‘with the kids’- on zoom

of course, a break to clap for the NHS on the street and back for more chat over dessert. A lovely day.

Didn't look at the news.

Friday 17th of April 2020

Yesterday, I only looked at 2 news items, Captain Tom Moore (age 99) raising £12 million for the NHS by

walking round his garden and what shops other countries have left open as essential. In the USA, gun

shops! Yesterday was pure joy and all this sadness, loneliness and horror. Lockdown is extended for

another three weeks. 12,000 deaths. A beautiful day again. Peter sent his book to the printer. My interview

with Kate Ford's had 1,300 views! A slow start, late breakfast and yoga. Emails all morning about launch,

social media and the fact that no online bookshops seemed have any copies! Walked through the park.

Poetry group by zoom - restful and concentrated time. Chat to Rose, her helping me with Twitter. Sourced

come tin tomatoes and Peter made chilli con carne. Delicious.

Saturday 18th of April 2020

15,450 people have now died. Captain Tom Moore has raised £12 million! Weather is broken, at last some

rain and much cooler. Peter did ‘repair shop’ jobs this morning, back door sill, carriage clock, hall ceiling.

While I did my yoga, pottered with my orchids, and hoovered upstairs. After our walk I chatted to Dorothy,

Niall and then Meryl called while Steven was taking part in a football quiz. I spent an hour reading through

Rowan F resubmitted PhD draft. At 5:00 PM we video called Josephine and Patrick and had a jolly chat

before watching tonight's Oscar, unforgiven. Also called them in the intermission. A 9:00 PM delivery of

plug plants from Jersey Plants Direct. So hard to see how we're ever going to get back to normal life. On

our walk we met with Abby, Lesley, Lydia and Paul. Quite sociable!

Sunday 19th of April 2020

A strange, trance-like day. Perhaps because I did no exercise, I had no energy – a massive listlessness.

Got up late, finished commenting on Rowan Fs PhD draft, had lunch in the garden. Yet another glorious

day. Peter cleaned out the shed, mended my dad’s Kunde Torsion Clock, cleaned up the old dress up trunk

and leather suitcase. I potted up some plants which arrived in the mail order last night, and weeded the

rockery. Then began to listen to Rhiannon Tise’s adaptation of ‘The Mill on the Floss’, whilst cleaning old

paint from the sundial. Captivating. Transferred to sofa in conservatory. Talked to Joanne. Watched the last

episode of Belgravia and the ‘stay at home’ music festival.

Monday 20th of April 2020

Wonderful each morning sees spring inching into summer for stop blossoms now fallen from the Pear Tree,

the silver birches in leaf, the osteospermums, camelias, tulips, forget-me-nots, bluebells, fraktalines and

next doors cleman’s in full flower. The world smells of blossom. The sky a clear un-scarred blue. Birds

singing. And meanwhile, doctors and nurses in ICU’s doing 12-hour shifts, PPE equipment running out,

deaths and more deaths. And my book out of stock on Amazon.com and Waterstones, book depository etc.

Harper says there's a skeleton staff at the warehouse and most the sales staff have been furloughed. So

frustrating, interview with Joan has now been viewed by 2000 people. The young man staying in our house

in Sunnyside has now ‘got it’, no needs to isolate there for another week. I thought that my yoga on my

walk would wake me up a bit today, but still feel in a daze of most of the day. I commented on Peter’s next

poetry collection (in an editorial exchange, he also sent feedback on mine, very useful). I haven't written a

poem since this whole coronavirus began. Feel dumbed. Took our walk on the lane and through the today.

Managed to send some treats to Rose via her village shop and so excited about it I began to feel woken up.

She was so surprised and pleased! Had a long chat with Wendy. Watched lovely French film. News tonight

that Waterstones has my in and Goldsboro are sending some over for me to sign.

Tuesday 21st of April 2020

If it were possible to not know what was going on in the outside world, I’d say today was a very good day.

Another clear blue sky, temperate sunshine, the smell of blossom on the song of birds. Yoga, breakfast,

shower then a rather delightful morning re-writing my piece for the Daily Express. Pretty much returning it to

its pre-edited form. Lunch email and little ‘life admin’ then walk in the glorious sunshine. Went to the wild

space and then entrance to G park on Sea Gardens that we'd never used before. 4 miles is enough for us.

Washing off the line, smelling of spring. Bees drinking off the bird table. 2 newts in the pond the wild space.

A launch present from Sasha. Cauliflower cheese for tea. Zoom quiz organised by Helen and Emyr. Watch

the first episode of the ‘Endeavour’ series. Rose please with her parcel.

Wednesday 22nd of April 2020

Feeling angry with myself this morning for being so unproductive. Anya D has put a website of people’s

poems written in lockdown. Saphra and Bishop have written some today and some of them are brilliant. I

haven't got on with my novel or written a single poem makes me sad. So, today I started to reorder my

poems, taking Peter’s very useful advice into account. Then I worked out the main plot points and scenes

of my novel on the timeline. And then I wrote a little bit of chapter one. Chuffed. In between, we walked to B

Park, I had review in woman's weekly and after I watered the garden and listened to more of ‘The Mill on

the Floss’. Glorious sunshine again. Watched endeavour.

Thursday 23rd of April 2020

We've been hearing odd noises at night last night Peter went out to investigate. He thinks he saw a fox cub!

(And I’d seen an adult fox a few days ago) thrilled. He thinks they would kill his frogs and flatten the plants.

Apparently, they don't like the smell of mail urine, so he's going to wee in the garden. By three, boxes of

books for signing arrived from Goldsboro, and for some reason it seemed to take all morning to unwrap

them, sign them, be photographed signing them [Peter was very patient] and packaged them up again.

Glorious summer day again, lunch in the garden, washing on the line. Fox's in their earth. Blackbirds

singing. This afternoon I worked on the poetry collection again and what a few words of novel and many

emails. Until the lovely day drew us out to the park but a bit busy and stressful trying to dance around

people. Fish fingers.

Friday 24th of April 2020

At first the days seemed so long and slow, and now they simply melt away. Actually, did a bit of writing this

morning. Chapter 3! [14 pages written, 300 to go?]. Peter drew Sunnyside map for Meryl’s wedding

invitations. Who knows if we'll be having a wedding in September? We hope so for her. Longing to see

them and touch them. Lunch in the sunny garden, identified where the adult fox have come over the wall.

Peter saw a cub closer for 2:00 AM this morning. Walk down the lane and round Anny Park. Sunbathers.

And far more cats. Talk to the gate to Jenna and Jonny. How to film night with Patrick and Josephine. The

English patient, Oh, talk to Kim for an hour.

Saturday 25th of April 2020

20,000 people dead in the UK now and 200,000 worldwide. And it's really hard to see how we are going to

come out of this and go back into the world. We had our walk this morning whilst it was cool and quiet, to

the Friends Meeting House in W hill. Then homemade minestrone soup and garden into my back said ‘no

more’. I've now cleared half the back border bluebells and garlic. Two more sessions should do it. Peter

cleared the ivy of his studio roof can now see down the entrance to the earth. Sat and read in the sunshine,

very weekend-ish. Then a flurry of stress I was being interviewed by Baddass Woman’s Hour- supposedly

on Skype, but Microsoft locked me out of Skype. Eventually did it by landline.

Sunday the 26th of April 2020

I woke up at 6:30 with chapter 4 running in my head, so I got up and began, having a lovely few hour

writing time for our zoom brunch with the girls at 10:30 AM. Bacon and muffins on our end - and a really

lovely long chat, maybe we are starting to get used to this odd one at a time kind of conversation.

Afterwards, Meryl came round pick up deck chairs and a barbecue, which we left at the front. A tonic to see

her in the flesh. Walk down the lane and to the park. Quite hot, continue cleaning the backboard of garlic

and bluebells. Peter helped. Nearly finished. Reported fuchsias. No sign of the Foxes, but tonight loud

scratchy sounds under kitchen floor, it's like a bloody zoo. Gammon and roast potatoes. Wore myself out in

the garden.

Monday the 27th of April 2020

Despite Donald Trump suggested it might be a good idea to drink or inject disinfectant [oh my god]. Some

slightly better news about UK, hospital death rate falling, but it doesn't include any deaths in care homes.

This morning: yoga [stiff neck from gardening], feedback on Connor’s revise PhD intro, lots of emails. So

only wrote about 3 lines. Does it matter with all this going on? Is it too implausible anyway? To hardware

store for rat poison [signs of chomping under the sink], a lovely walk in T park, no cars allowed there. Bliss.

So quiet. So much birdsong. Then I went to the co-op for some shopping- wore a mask and gloves, felt like

a bandit. Planted gladioli bulbs [bit nervous or fox]. Trying to do a zoom with Sasha and Kay but Virgin

Media went down. Nice to see them though.

Tuesday 28th of April 2020

Everything different today - wet stuff falling from the sky for the first time in weeks. Gentle, persistent rain all

day. I woke up late and didn't do my yoga or we didn't go out for a walk but did a 20-minute walk in workout

routine together. For most of the rest of the day I was writing. Chapter 5! First draft. Probably find tomorrow

it's rubbish. Peter dusted and hoovered. I had a chat with Caitlin W. Tonight we had a zoom session with

the Apple Head group call, first 40 minutes chat and then 40 minutes of quiz, but each brought three

questions. They were all hard but Martene and I drew in the 1st place. Watched the final episode of a 3 part

drama called quiz.

Wednesday 29th of April 2020

Woke up early, so got up and wrote condolence letter to Martene M. After breakfast and yoga I seemed to

spend too much time on email and self-promotion before getting stuck in the chapter 6. Not sure about this

chapter. Actually not sure if the whole premise is completely implausible. We went back to our desks after

lunch because it was still raining. By four I’d finished the chapter, so we walked to down to Jan’s and

around the estate a bit. Much colder today. Peter was muffled up like a Norwegian in midwinter. Most

people are good at respectful distance, we were walking, but today a runner brushed right past us and an

old man coughed without covering his mouth. We are up to 29,000 deaths now including care homes.

Tonight, my VLF recording went on air. Watched it and then took part in the live chat. Fun but exhausting.

Thursday 30th of April 2020

The strangely glorious weather has truly broken and this morning I felt very sad and missed the girls. I

spent this morning revising my chapter so far, one to six, I'm wondering again if the whole thing is just too

far-fetched. We couldn't go for a walk as it was raining or hailing or raining again, but we did pop out to the

chemist between showers for repeat prescriptions. I had an hour-long video call with Kim, a shorter chat

with Janine. Meryl and Joanne both called, nice long chat with Joanne as she power walked around the

block. Went out and clapped for the NHS. Another day.

May

Friday 1st of May 2020

The 1st of May and we had April showers all day, heavy downpours, hail, warm sun. Perhaps if it had been

cold and wet six weeks ago more people would have stayed home and less would have died. They say the

infection rates are slowing out at last. Today: yoga, breakfast, trying to write chapter 7, though have to stop

every other sentence cheque on train routes, hat styles etc. Slow progress. Lunch. A happenstance

pamphlet zoom launch [a little unexciting] and I was tired. I've been waking up earlier and earlier. Walked

to G Park (with pause under trees during hailstorm). Read in conservatory. Chilli for tea. Facetimes

Josephine and Patrick laughed a lot. Watch National Theatre live Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch

as the as the creature - astonishing adaptation and production. Tonight, my book is on Amazon at last.

Saturday 2nd of May 2020

I woke at 6.15 and let chapter 7 run in my head for half an hour before I got up and wrote it until 9:00 ish.

Think I've now got 22,000 words on the 1st draft. I wonder what Harper will make of it. Once Peter was up,

we went to T park for a lovely long walk for stop cold and there has been, but dry and bright post op so

lucky to have these gorgeous open spaces. After lunch we started on the garden. I pulled up all the forget-

me-nots and began to weed the path, I felt exhausted, so sat in the sun and read. Chatted to Meryl, on her

way to the hardware shop. Tonight more theatre, ‘Arrest of Ai Wei Wei’ – Peter gave up and went to watch

an old rugby match!

Sunday 3rd of May 2020

The day has melted away. They tell us the number of hospital admissions and deaths are falling. Wrote

some emails to fellow writers about their books this morning. Spent ages fighting with technology

(Squarespace, Facebook). Went up to Boots for some cystitis remedy. Queueing at 2m distances outside

and only two people allowed in the shop at a time, but others in the street walking 3 meters apart so you

can’t avoid passing close to them and gangs of young men on corners, just as if everything was normal. A

lovely zoom chat with family- Emyr’s got a senior lectureship! Meryl popped round to bring plant sprays –

leaving them at a distance, I swept front drive, potted up hollyhocks, sprayed roses, read book, fought

some more with technology and watched TV.

Monday 4th of May 2020

Daily deaths down below 300. It feels like a thaw is coming. People have been allowed to go outside in Italy

and Spain. They’ve really been locked down. I was up a lot in the night and felt generally under the weather

today. Editing chapter one to seven to send Harper. Ordering food to be delivered by Iceland. Walking in

park. Peter went to Marks and Spencer’s for somethings they didn't have in Iceland, made some delicious

soup. I tried to do a zoom with Sasha and Kay but had to go for a lie down. Was unable to do choir

practise, but feeling a bit better now. Resolved to try spending less time each day on social media and

watching silly videos. Wonderful fan letter this morning from Jono J.

Tuesday 5th of May 2020

Daily deaths up again to almost 700. So furious at our government for mishandling of all this. Hong Kong

and South Korea hardly any deaths. But oh no, we know best. We going to be the worst in Europe.

Shameful. I was pleased myself this morning, did a bit of novel, wrote a REF impact thing for Janine and a

500-word piece for U.S. marketing. Shared pics of my book in Tesco's. Iceland food delivery. Did washing,

had a walk. Felt exhausted. Had a nap. Chatted to a Rose. Then discovered I failed to phone in for a

conversation with a journalist from the Long Island review. So angry with myself, just totally forgot. The last

episode of ‘puss, pain and poison’ tonight and then warm blanket of the repair shop for bed.

Wednesday 6 May 2020

Still 600 people dying a day. Up to 32,000 now. And I've had ups and downs today. Physically much better,

did yoga and walked 3.8 miles. Enjoyable morning doing marketing, including writing the interview I should

have given yesterday and Facebook. Then email from agent, Celyn with reservations about first seven

chapters “i know how well you respond to editorial suggestions”. Ha! plunged into a pit of despair and would

have hurled it on the fire. Couldn’t eat. Went for a miserable walk in F Hall, somewhat cheered by lambs,

ducklings etc. Then by news of this morning’s article already being posted in Long Island Review. Peter

made cauliflower cheese. I watered garden. We had a zoom chat with Helen and Emyr. Watched a

documentary about the V+A. Feeling less despondent.

Thursday 7th May 2020

The newspaper is speculating that lockdown will be eased on Sunday, but I can’t see how, when daily

deaths are over 500 and the people testing positive is increasing. So, my usual patter after negative

feedback – utter despondency, yesterday had turned into to problem solving solutions by this morning. So a

morning on rewrites. Lunch in the garden. Walk in T Park – gorgeous wide-open spaces with hardly any

people, lovely warm sunshine and a bird which people on Facebook are trying to identify for me – either a

Nightingale or a song thrush. 8pm clapping for the NHS – we went opposite the fire station and clapped

them. Then Peter took me to Tesco to try to actually see my book but there was a 15-minute queue, so we

came home. Picked Lilly of the Valley. Filling room with their scent…

Friday 8th of May 2020

VE Day 75th anniversary

Thinking this morning about my lovely mum and dad and their experience of VE day – mum stationed as

nursing VAD and dad waiting to be repatriated from Australian PoW camp. Very sad. Missed them so

much. Miss the girls. Know I have to be strong as firm as mum and dad would have been, but it is hard.

Hard to settle to anything. Peter didn’t want a walk, feeling it a chore, a routine rather than a pleasure.

Though H Wood was a peaceful and soul-restoring joy. So many blackbirds singing! I think I prefer the

‘weekdays’ to the ‘weekend’. Feel a bit floundering without structure. Sat in the garden with Jenna and

Jonny on either side of our gate – a nice chat. Sorted out bookcase in hall. Book. TV. Bed.

Saturday 9th of May 2020

Woke before dawn to the sound of a blackbird and the smell of lily of the valley in a vase by bed. During

yoga I reminded myself that above all, mum and dad would have urged me to grasp life, to appreciate all

the good things I have, and to be happy. I owe it to them to try, and not wallow. We suggested to Meryl that

we could go and sit at the end of their garden to see them. But it appears not! Trying to remind myself it is

because they love us. Fantastic weather. Up to 24°c this afternoon. Mostly we played in the garden, which

is looking its best ever. Meryl had two wedding dresses to try on, so Joanne and I did a zoom with her. She

looked beautiful in both. We walked down the lane through Anny Park and back up to cook, where we

chose a high calorie meal for tea – Halloumi Arribada Pasta and red berry mousse. ‘Met’ Josephine and

Patrick tonight and watched The King’s Speech.

Sunday 10th of May 2020

Completely bloody useless ‘address the nation’ from Boris Peterson, confusing, irrational. We are to ‘stay

alert’ apparently. Much, much colder today, 24°c yesterday, 14°c today. Cleared the side border. Repaired

some spines on some old books. Put other books on the wall with a ‘free books’ notice. Many taken. Peter

was very tired, so I went for my walk down QED to park on my own. Had to wear a coat. And very windy.

Can hear foxes in next door garden tonight, so Peter didn’t kill them. He made a cake. I re-stitched his iPad

rest, so it finally works. Had a 5pm zoom with the kids – all a bit tired I think (and full of hay fever

medication). Watched Boris ‘hoping for some changes in June’.

Monday 11th of May 2020

Whole nation in uproar about Boris’ stupid speech. But traffic on High Street actually lighter today. A chilly

day today but spent the morning in my study so I didn't notice. Sent a draft first eight chapters to Harper.

Had a late lunch. Then spent the whole afternoon doing things which would normally be very quick, picked

up a parcel from Waitrose, did the week shopping Sainsbury's. Peter and I both went in masks and gloves,

like bandits. Each with their own list of half the shopping. Cupboards now well stocked again. Spent a lot of

time on news and social media today. Peter spent time making the garden un-fox-friendly. I attended a

zoom choir practise. Choir on mute. Not satisfactory!

Tuesday 12th of May 2020

Who would have thought that a month after publication, I’d be so keen to see my book in an actual shop,

that I’d stand in a snaking queue outside Tesco for half an hour, soak my hands and disinfectant and finally

find my book, masked like a bandit! Peter was very sweet to take me, unsuccessfully to Asda and

successfully to Tesco. Unreal really. This morning hoovered downstairs, wrote some letters, looked up P60,

general life admin. Had our walk in T Park. Went to find book. Looked at death rate, still over 600 a day.

Planted some seeds, Basil and Cerinthe, sealed in plastic bags like us, but hopefully will bloom one day.

Chatted to Erin. Raise spirits by watching Grayson Perry and Stewart Lee.

Wednesday the 13th of May 2020

My book is now being sold to Sri Lankan publisher to be translated into Sinhalese. How amazing. I

wonderful if we will ever go to see it there? Lots of friends now beginning to confess to COVID rule

breaking, have been seeing their grandchildren. But Meryl won't say if she might come round and sit in the

garden on her birthday. Spent some time this morning choosing some possible presents for her online.

Hope they arrive in time. Had another admin and book reviews morning and a walk in the park. Tonight had

a ‘cook along’ zoom with Alex, Emyr and Helen. Made a delicious mushrooms risotto. Then the Apple Head

group zoom and finally zoom chat with Helen. So on zoom from 6:00 PM to 11:00 PM!

Thursday the 14th of May 2020

A very good writing day - at my desk from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM with a 2 hour lunch break and a walk in T

Park. Chapter 9 and part of chapter 10. Probably crap, but very diverting. Also some in preteritions while

Peter set off the burglar alarm trying to change the batteries. Meryl called to talk about wedding dresses,

which was lovely. A ‘things breaking’ day, Peter's computer, the kettle and the alarm. [though only the kettle

had stayed broken]. Had a nice zoom chat with Sasha and Kay. Kay is negative about the future, would like

to see her debate Martene M. Charlie Brooker screen wipe was funny tonight.

Friday the 15th of May 2020

Mum would have been 98 today. Happy birthday mum! My good intentions to get up early and start work,

went completely to pot as I woke up in the night with hay fever and had to take an antihistamine which

knocked me out until 9:00 AM. By the time I dragged myself awake, yoga, shower I felt like as if I'd lost half

a day. To make it worse I'd forgotten I had a zoom with the second singers in Sunnyside. It was nice, but I

felt there rather be writing. When we had a walk and popped into Marks and Spencer for Meryl’s birthday

cake ingredients. Then I would do a Poets zoom, which I ducked out of rather fast to do just a little writing

before Josephine S’s zoom book launch, ‘only’ 384 people died today, lowest number since March.

Saturday the 16th of May 2020

A useful bit of housework, planned the next chapter whilst hoovering. Swept up petals again. Helped Peter

make a birthday cake for Meryl. Did some online research about his clock maker. Ordered some plants for

Shannon and Rose. Did some feedback on Julian’s lockdown sonnet. Walk down the lane and back.

Looked at next doors planning application. Talk to Emma. Watched a very silly French film called ‘I'm not

an easy man’. Planned Peter's birthday.

Sunday 17th of May 2020

Meryl’s 32nd birthday, I guess as good as it could have been under the circumstances. [I woke up at 4am I

am thinking of the week she was born and how easy we could have lost her and was furious. Waste of

emotional energy]. Went to Marks and Spencer’s again for ingredients today. Finish the ganache. In front

garden, talk to V from down the road about the plan in app for 113. At 3:30 PM Meryl and Steven came. We

set up chairs and a table with tablecloth in the front garden and had presents, cake with candles and chat

until 5:00 PM. Then on zoom at 6 for ‘prinks’ and cook along of tuna burgers – delicious! (With Joanne). At

8:00 PM we said goodbye. Watch documentary about the Royal Free fighting covered. Lovely to spend

time with Meryl, even without hugs.

Monday the 18th of May 2020

Woke up at 5:30 AM and because it seemed like day, I didn't go back to sleep. Was very keen to be at my

desk by 9, and still only just made it by the time I'd hung washing, done yoga and packed for Sunnyside.

Had hoped to go tonight, but was randomly selected for a COVID 19 test, on the site book the test pick up

tomorrow with no choice of day. A good morning’s writing. Up to page 114, it might well all be at the tosh.

I'm just going for it. Nice walk in G Land and then Emma and Joseph biked over and sat on our front drive,

properly distanced. Good to see real humans. Conversation so different from one at the time zoom chat.

Watch Grayson's art club and the 2nd edition of hospital. What a truly terrifying disease this is. Though

death rates are finally falling.

Tuesday 19th of May 2020

Back to Sunnyside. 42 days after we left in such a rush. But first, had COVID-19 tests in the post as part of

a research study. Not easy to do, where are your tonsils? Couldn't even open the biohazard bag. Got quite

cross. Then had a few hours writing. Water garden, brought in washing, packed I'm now off to Sunnyside.

Trees now out in full leaf, and so hot in the car. Air conditioner not working again. It was 27 degrees by the

time we arrived and everyone was out enjoying the heatwave. It was like spoons on a Saturday night. The

beach smell of skunk on wind, young girl sucking ‘something’ from a balloon. No social distancing at all. A

relief to get out past the West beach huts where it was quieter. And a party going on at the back of the

house. But lovely to be here again, for a few days at least.

Wednesday the 20th of May 2020

The heatwave has brought people flocking to the coats. And today, for the first time, there were no new

COVID cases in London and the Southeast. Though still 400 deaths. People are certainly behaving as

though it's all over. We went for a walk on the slopes this morning and it was already very busy. I had a

long chat with Emily, she's very depressed and sad about her decision to move to Belgium. I did some

Spanish news research, in the sunshine garden, and some Middlesex e-mail. I was sent the Czech cover!

Went over to Josephine’s garden tonight. Sat outside till I got cold, I went into the kitchen stayed apart but

I'm wondering if we've been stupid.

Thursday the 21st of May 2020

My disappointment not having the book in bookshops seems to grow and grow. You think I would be used

to it by now, but the ‘what might have been’ feeling isn't going away at all. Alleviated a little bit by a lovely

walk over the Woodland while our air conditioning was being re-gassed. 24 degrees at 9:30 AM! Fluffy

clouds, flux, buttercups, clover, may trees and wild roses. Did a little writing. Lunch in the garden. Pick

some roses to dry petals for confetti. Callum, our decorator came [very good at distancing]. Chatted to Rita

for an hour. Helen and Emyr snuck into our garden at 4:30 PM with prosecco and homemade focaccia.

Utterly delicious. It has been mayhem on the beaches. A total free-for-all. COVID-idiots. Clap for key

workers. Too full of focaccia to eat a meal. Early night.

Friday 22nd of May 2020

It's a curious thing, when I'm feeling ‘what's the point of writing this lark, it's just meaningless’, the thing

most likely to move me out of that negative state is actually sitting down and doing it. So, a good writing

morning. And then had a fabulous walk - skylarks nesting in the meadows, Buntings and swifts/swallows all

swooping, fluttering, hovering singing against a blue, blue sky. A little potter in the garden. A bit of life

admin / present buying / diary management/ social media update in. And then an episode of endeavour. It

turned into a rather satisfactory day. Book got mentioned in one month magazine

Saturday the 23rd of May 2020

It's another curious thing, how 72 people dead in Grenfell tower has the nation [rightly] reeling with horror,

but these numbers are now too huge to imagine 36,000. Today ‘only’ 300 deaths, and we're all relieved

about that. Meanwhile, and our little bubble, woke up at 5:30 AM, sunshine and birdsong. Went for a

gorgeous walk along to West beach, deserted. Packed the car and drove back to London for stop realise

how little I listen to Radio 4 and how wonderfully mind expanding it is. West’s expression for glorious things:

‘through leaves’ – short for ‘walking through leaves’. Radio 4 was ‘through leaves’, finding our garden a

blaze of colour was ‘through leaves’. Pulled together the Grandfather clockmaker folder for Peter’s birthday

tomorrow. Wendy not well enough to come over.

Sunday the 24th of May 2020

Peter 60th birthday. How can I possibly be true? And of course, we should have been in Lille for the

weekend. But instead, the girls give us an amazing French weekend at home. This morning I give Peter the

file I had made about his clock and it's maker, Robert. Then we drove to Hackney down and met Joanne.

Looked at the mosaics and did a few circuits of the park then sat and chatted a bit longer. So long since

we've seen in real life. Only took 25 minutes to drive to Dalston, as supposed to one hour normally. Came

home for lunch and a potter in the garden before Meryl and Steven arrived. They came through to the back

garden this time, bearing gifts of our meal. They spent all of yesterday cooking French onion soup and

gave us beef cheese and biscuits. It was just lovely to sit in the sun and talk and laugh, oh, and they'd

come wearing stripy French T shirts and berets. Also gave Meryl some items from the Oliver Bonas sale to

choose from. Not long after they left, all six of us joined together on zoom to cook and eat this glorious four

course meal. Every course is completely delicious. Joanne and Emyr give us a musical quiz round to which

the answer was cheese/eaten/surrender/monkeys. Then watched most of the film called ‘bad seeds’

[French film] with a cheese course intermission. Not the day we planned but lovely all the same. So lucky.

Monday the 25th of May 2020

Bank Holiday Monday

26 degrees. They said only 120 people died today, but the numbers are always lower at the weekends.

Gorgeous weather. Investigated Robert Foy and the court case a little this morning and did some

correspondence. Walked over to Kay and Chris this afternoon, though the park on Saturday people were 2

meters apart, measured with a tape it's further than I thought! Watered garden. Read some poetry. Tonight

watch Dominic Cummings squirm under media scrutiny of his breaking of lockdown regulations he helped

to write. He ought to be sacked but of course he won't be.

Tuesday the 26th of May 2020

US and Canadian publication day

Hurray! Or, did I just dream it? Where are the trumpets, where were the flowers? Nice emails of course

from Berkeley team and the Berkeley girls [other authors] and messages from Facebook friends. And I

bought myself a bunch of flowers from Sainsbury's. Otherwise a pretty normal day, a flurry of self-publicity

on social media this morning. Then long writing session. Then a trip to Sainsbury's for a fortnight of food

supplies. Watered garden while Emma talk to me on the phone about her Coronavirus poems for kids.

Lovely goulash cooked by Peter. 132 people have died today, about the same as the whole time in

Australia.

Wednesday the 27th of May 2020

News, Twitter, WhatsApp jokes all full of Dominic Cummings. Eventually tore myself away to write a

planning application objection for next door, a reference for Leigh J and a bit of a Spanish novel. [possible

title friends and lovers]. Another lovely balmy day. Was there ever a spring like this one? Didn't have a

proper walk, but went on errands. To Asda [where they had my book for £5!] then to Emily’s. It was her

birthday and she was in floods of tears cause she doesn't want to leave England. I was crying too. Mostly

because it was so awful not to hug her. Very sad farewell. Busy evening, cook along with Emyr, Helen, Joel

and more. Frittata. Apple Head group. Helen led discussion of what we miss and don't miss, and what we

hope for the future. Interesting.

Extrapolating from Helen's questions:

What I've missed most:

• Hugging doctors, seeing doctors, spending unstructured time together.

• Seeing and hugging friends.

• Choir.

• Art galleries.

• Travel. What I've missed the least:

• Noise, aeroplanes, cars. What has been the best about lockdown

• Quiet. Slowness. Daily yoga. What's been worst about lockdown

• No book launch

• Lower sales

• Not seeing book in bookshops What I hope will continue

• People realise then they don't need to travel for business meetings.

• More local shopping.

• Daily yoga.

• Value and care workers and other low paid key workers.

• Kindness

Thursday 28th of May 2020

Tonight, we were told we could meet up outdoors in groups of up to six. But over 300 people still died

today, bringing the total over 37,000. Worked on novel this morning. Ate lunch in the garden. Went for a

long walk, MH woods, gorgeous, sunlight and birdsong. Cut the masquerade rose dry petals for confetti.

How to zoom chat with Sasha and Kay. Weight 8 stone 13 pounds this morning, most since returned from

Sunnyside. So started strict diet. Not enough hours in a day for what I want to do.

Friday the 29th of May 2020

Poor Shannon thought the meeting six people applied to shielded people too. What a terrible

disappointment. I can't help thinking we've eased up the regulations too early, on economic grounds rather

medical. But, glorious weather. The driest may for 124 years. And, writing steadily, about 10 pages a day,

though it might be rubbish. Wendy was coming over for tea and cake for her birthday, so we went to Marks

and Spencer’s for a cake. [it was really good and didn’t eat a single bite]. Cramp in legs last night. Can't

work out the connection with dieting. Soaked feet in Epsom salt tonight. Lovely to see Wendy and celebrate

her birthday and Peter's. Talk to Caitlin W and I watered the garden.

Saturday 30th of May 2020

We go to great pains to make the weekends different from the weekdays, even though Peter is barely doing

any work and I adore my writing time. So this morning instead of writing, I did housework, both inside and

outside [sweeping the patio etc]. It seems unnecessary to say it was another glorious day. Went to north for

a walk. Crowded car park but empty woods. The few people kept respectful distances. But all the streams

and rivers were dry. I bet we end up having a hose pipe ban. Long chat with Meryl on Facetime about

houses. She finishes work on Friday. Phone call with cousin. Ironing. Writing a reference. Extra-long

episode of gardens world.

Sunday 31st of May 2020

It feels like 3 weeks from now will know what the results of this easing of lockdown have been, and whether

we will be able to go to Portugal in July, most important if Meryl’s wedding will go ahead. A very important

three weeks. Shannon was up and out this morning, but Rose is very anxious and thinks they may stay

home for another three weeks. Cities burning in USA over George Floyd murder. What a terrible year. But

here, lovely walk, birdsong, white fluffy clouds, warm sun. And then this afternoon Meryl came over and sat

in the sun and talked houses and weddings and other things. It felt lovely, and almost normal apart from

sitting so far apart. Looked at old photos for Emyr’s present to Joanne. Wonderful children. So lucky. Bad

cramp at night. Dieting, watch the connexion?

June

Monday 1st of June 2020

Biggest and worst race protests in the USA since 1968, and I'm so fearful for all the people I see out in the

streets crammed together. Today they told us daily deaths had dropped, then I did 435 cover death from

before first day that 11 London hospitals had no deaths. Yoga. Writing chapter 14. Lunch in the glorious

garden. Walk along the New River path on 1st lane. Back to garden and prep a bit before we go to

Sunnyside. Problem is, everything needs watering daily in this fantastic weather. It will be such a shock

when we can't be outside. Spent more time on Emyr’s project for Joanne's birthday. Last of Grayson's art

club.

Tuesday the 2nd of June 2020

Some reports now say 50,000 people have died from COVID in the UK. Others that we found 62,000

deaths more than usual for that time of year. So shocking. All that heart break because of a bad political

decision. Yoga. Breakfast [half of a grapefruit]. Writing. Page 173. So much fun. Lunch in our gorgeous

garden [strict salad regime for last week, no bread, no alcohol, low fat, low carb]. Meryl and Steven came

over this afternoon to work while their cleaner was at their flat. So, we went out, go just walk in T Park,

maybe the last of these beautiful days. Then take a goodbye card to Emily. Then to post office with copy of

book to Czech Republic. Long long queue. I made a lemon drizzle cake for Joanne.

Wednesday the 3rd of June 2020

Joanne’s 35th birthday, and what the very strange one. This morning Peter and I packed for Sunnyside,

which seemed to take three hours, including leaving the house tidy. Went to Meryl’s to pick up her present

for Joanne, then drove to her house. She was looking lovely, as always and very slim. We walked to

London fields and found a picnic spot, sitting at two metre distance. We had presents and lunch and had

made a lemon drizzle cake, she had her own candle. Emyr had done a marvellous project where we sent

recorded memories and photos. Family, friends from all periods of her life, a massive project. And to tie in

with that, I give her the five volumes of Diaries chronologically from her life, from conception [or pregnancy

test] to age 17. She read, she cried, and finally couldn't resist coming to hug me, very, very tight [but almost

round my back]. Finally, we went back to her house to use the loo, carefully disinfected before and after,

and then drove to Sunnyside. Quite exhausted in the car, from emotion and the strangeness of all this

distancing. I was overcome with sadness when we got to Sunnyside. For time that has past I guess. Then

spoke to Rose, had collaged a fab list of Black Lives Matter links. And my perspective clicked back. Had a

nice walk along the coast. Suddenly much cooler. Please this morning to be back to 8 stone 11 pounds,

then had cake, omelette, twix and crunchy nut cornflakes. Realised I forgot my pyjamas and after go to

Tesco for some.

Thursday 4th of June 2020

Amid all this chaos and grief, the Rec this afternoon was idyllic, nesting skylarks which rise from the grass

as you pass, Swifts or swallows cutting in low, white clouds high in a blue sky, wind riffling in in the Meadow

grass, the smell of seaweed, sound of pounding waves and birdsong. Joy. And our quiet life - yoga, writing,

handmade soup, email, Facebook [my translation into Portuguese is complete, many kind messages from

readers] pasta for tea, a movie, a fire because it suddenly turned quite chilly. And the world is raging

outside.

Friday 5th of June 2020

2020 strikes again! Just when I was thinking of stopping this diary because every day was the same, I

tripped over a curb this afternoon and broke my wrist and two fingers. We had a lovely breezy walk to

Shipping and was crossing the road from the harbour, I was checking the traffic, not looking at my feet, and

the curb was higher than normal. My right foot caught it, I took the impact of my left hand my head

crunched onto the pavement. Peter held my hand until the waves of nausea subsided. Lots of drivers and

pedestrians stopped and asked if I needed help or an ambulance or a lift. Finally managed to stand and

walk to my doorstep where I waited for Peter to fetch the car. River Lane was also a COVID testing station,

and we had to have a temperature check before entering. The two women in the temp check tent insisted

they need to take off my rings before my finger began to swell, I knew it hurt, but didn't know at the time it

was broken! I was given two paracetamols in reception and had to wait a while even though there's nobody

else there. The booked 4:00 PM appointment was seen before me, and it did hurt so very much! Finally it

was yanked about the X ray. Then the x- ray sent through to orthopaedics. Eventually plaster instructions

came back and they gave me gas and air [a lot of gas and air] while they pulled out each of the broken

joints to set with a back-slab plaster. After another set of x-rays and an okay from orthopaedics we were

free to go. Peter bought me Crunchie bars on the way home. I was desperate for a cup of tea. Talked the

girls now Facetime with Josephine and Patrick. Laughed a bit, which was good. Went to bed in my top

bedroom study. What a day!

Saturday the 6th of June 2020

Slept in two-hour bursts. More the awkwardness of keeping arm raised and not being able to turnover than

the actual pain. Today, lots of sympathetic text and calls from Meryl, Joanne, D, Josephine, Gladys, Jo, G

and probably others. Helen popped around. [standing in the street]. I put the message on Facebook asking

for suggestions of voice recognition software and had 96 nice comments. Joanne went on a Black Lives

Matter vigil today. I wonder how many people would have stopped to help with Peter and I had been black?

Sunday 7th of June 2020

Peter has been an Angel. I have been a worrier. Is my hand to tingly, too cold, too swollen, too hot. But I

managed lob-sided yoga. Peter washed and blow dried my hair. We looked up voice recognition software.

He got the bird box going, which the girls are given him for his birthday. I have been indulging myself,

bacon sandwich for breakfast, cheese and crisps at Josephine’s, must stop tomorrow or will regret it. Tried

to go for a walk along Shipping [pretty nervously] but it started to rain. Went to Josephine’s, sat in the

marquee in the rain, 14 degrees. Had a lovely chat but go very chilled. Watch to cute Australian film and

worried about my hand!

Monday the 8th of June 2020

Busy, one-handed day. COVID death rates finally falling. None in London hospitals over the weekend.

News now full of Black Lives Matter. So, I found some broken wrist yoga videos on YouTube. I tried voice

recognition software and soon give up. One handed typing is quicker. Callum the decorator began. Went to

health shop for more Amika, I was late for zoom meeting. Viva preparation for Lee. Went for walk, lovely

high tide and Peter popped into Iceland, so I was late for 5:00 PM zoom with Kay and Sasha. Joined by

boys and had a really fun chat with a promise to do it again next week. So tea was delayed and we were

late to start watching Shakespeare. No watch, that’s my excuse.

Tuesday the 9th of June 2020

Book news from yesterday, haven't been selected for Steven and Judy, have been sold into Sainsbury's,

have been sent the gorgeous Dutch cover. 2 great blog reviews, and a nice review in Connecticut local

papers! Didn't sleep so well last night. Peter was up at dawn to bake his first sourdough loaf. Very tasty.

Every little thing takes so long with one arm and typing is murderously slow. But I'm inching forwards. Page

198. It began to warm up a touch today, so we could walk to the beach without coats, and have our meals

outside again. And nap this afternoon. Peter is running around after me constantly and gripping my hand

when we walk. Watched the second half of Shakespeare in love. Perhaps my favourite of all the Oscars we

have watched.

Wednesday the 10th of June 2020

Best laid plans, had intended to go back to London spend some time with Meryl, and leave Sunnyside free

for her and Steven to use at the weekend but they have to be in London see estate agent, and a friend

Cerys has a COVID like cough, awaiting results. So packed the house and then unpacked again. A drizzly

day and cold enough to have the heating on. Have sold 5565 books, sounds like a lot to me! Went back to

River Lane today because the cast feels so tight and tingly, but apparently it's okay. Apple Head group

zoom tonight.

Thursday the 11th of June 2020

All change. Meryl’s friend Cerys hasn't got COVID, so Meryl might be willing to meet over the weekend, and

weather forecast looks better, so we packed the car again I came back to S Gate. I was quite worried

because the vibration of the car seemed to be in every bone in my arm, but oddly it feels less worse since

arrival. Garden looks amazing. Orchids are beautiful. Home is home. Did a bit of work on Connor PhD, then

some writing. Hit page 200. A lovely cook along with Alex, Liz and Emyr. Peter's beef burgers. News more

anti-racism than COVID. 150 deaths a day now. Let’s see how I sleep here.

Friday the 12th of June 2020

COVID deaths below 100 today and apparently one of three people no longer worried about catching it. But

I'd rather not. Arm aches tonight. Went over to Meryl’s while Peter trimmed hedge. She's bored being

between jobs. Walking G Park on our way home because rain was forecast later. Finish first draught of

chapter 15. Zoom meeting of Poets, though I hadn't got a poem to share. Feel quite worn out.

Saturday the 13th of June 2020

Is it the broken wrist of this ongoing limbo, life which makes it so hard to motivate yourself to do anything?

This afternoon the weather was nice enough to have someone over to sit in the garden, but somehow

neither of us could muster the energy. So we did washing, gardening and I read a book and Peter found an

old sport match. New Zeland has rugby started again. They only had 22 deaths in total because their

brilliant Prime Minister. 181 today here. Now over 41,000 at the most conservative estimate. Nice long

chart with Joanne on her way back from Black Lives Matter rally. That's my girl.

Sunday 14th of June 2020

Not such a great disaster in 2020 terms, but our 15 big fuchsia plant, grown from plugs, have got fuchsia

gall mite, and had to be cut back harden old cuttings burned. Meryl came over for an hour, which was

lovely. Nice enough to sit outside. Then back to Sunnyside, spoke today Rose in car, now she's had a

friend who's died. Hugo and Patrick came over and brought barbecue meat, sat in the garden until it got too

cold. Wrist hurts tonight, and I'm frightened about tomorrow. Callum hasn't gone as well as we expected

with the house decorating. And he has done painting which we didn't ask for.

Monday the 15th of June 2020

I was worried that the fracture clinic would say my wrist and fingers had to be reset. But no! What relief! Mr

S said all looked fine on the x-ray and could just have a cast for four weeks or so, with no further binding on

the broken fingers. So, huge relief. Though it's been really hurting today. Walk along SS. Bit of an email.

Lovely zoom with Sasha and Kay. Peter made access panel to upstairs loo, cooks, cleans, irons. Shops

reopen today for stop huge queues for Primark. Don't know if any have my book..

Tuesday the 16th of June 2020

Trying to find some yoga I can do to free up my neck and shoulders from the effort of keeping my arm

elevated all day. Send out some poems for the first time in months. Not written any since lockdown. Began

to revise and edit my first 66,000 words. Callum has started painting at last. Had a back street walk. Had a

drink in Helen and Emyr's lovely new garden. Forrest Gump and 1/2 time Facetime chat tonight. Peter

spent half the day cleaning the house. I'm no help at all.

Wednesday the 17th of June 2020

I think my wrist hurts more than ever [except at the start]. I hope that's okay. Got on with editing my first

66,000 words today while Peter was at Jones’. Also had a rather upsetting exchange with Callum who has

taken 2 weeks to paint a fascia and one window, because we need him to finish on Sunday for a week.

Rather than speeding him up he promptly disappeared. A rather misty walk. Peter carried on spring

cleaning will I did what I could in the garden. A lovely zoom tonight as Meryl had a remote fitting for her

wedding dress [a cotton version]. So hope her wedding can go ahead in September.

Thursday 18th of June 2020

Still 130 people dying each day, including a 13 day year old baby today. And a rollercoaster of emotions

within our tiny bubble. Callum the decorator said he'd pull off the job unless we paid him in advance, then I

thought I'd lost £650 cash that I had shoved in a draw when changing handbags to go to the hospital. Peter

finished his big spring clean and we drove back to London. Vera Lynn's death on the radio, playing of her

songs made me miss my mum and dad, realised I'd left Peter’s sourdough started in the fridge... Email,

nap, walk through Anny park, chat to Meryl, finished book I was reading, watched a documentary about

David Bowie.

Friday the 19th of June 2020

Absolutely horrified to find the Callum was right and we've been inadvertently breaking the lockdown rules.

We went back to Sunnyside when they lifted travel restrictions but didn't realise you weren't allowed to stay

overnight. Feel so guilty and so stupid. Though common sense tells me that shoppers and commuters are

more likely to spread the virus than as shut in our house. Came back to London today. Won’t return until

allowed [or to have my cast remove then on the 13th of July]. Meryl came over and sat in the garden for a

couple of hours. What joy! Took books for Canada and Poland to the post office.

Saturday the 20th of June 2020

Peter worked so hard today doing all the things I can't do, hung up washing, cooked meals to freeze,

mowed lawn and washed up. Some bits today were lovely and almost felt normal, Meryl and Steven

popped over during the flat viewings, Wendy and Ruth came for dinner. All in the garden, all distance and

hand washed. Peter also came to the park with me to return Mark B signed copy of my book. And odd little

chat on a park bench. Wrist actually didn't hurt this morning, but tonight the cast feels really heavy and my

fingers are like fat sausages. Ouch. Excellent Connor Baldwin documentary.

Sunday the 21st of June 2020

Longest day. A quarter of a year or more with this strange limbo-like existence. Not unpleasant for us of

course with each other, nice house, garden, food, friends. But, still so very unreal. It is Father's Day and we

drove to the Park to meet Joanne. Lovely temperature in low 20s and we did a circuit of the whole park,

talking about anything and everything for two hours also. A joy to see her. So peculiar not to give her a hug

and kiss. My firstborn. My darling. But that's how it is. Home to potter in the garden until my wrist began to

yell at me to stop. Then Peter cooked some salmon and cuscus which we ate in the garden. For some

people this life would seem like paradise.

Monday the 22nd of June 2020

What a perfect day would have been if I hadn't a broken wrist and being unable to hug my child. Writing this

morning, Meryl over to sit in garden and read this afternoon, glorious sunshine, zoom chat with Sasha,

Alan, Kay and Alun.

Tuesday the 23rd of June 2020

Hot, hot, hot! Went to see a lovely house in London with Meryl. I would so love to help her buy it. Laid in the

garden with her all afternoon. [me in the shade because of my cast]. People still dying but locked in rules

and now guidelines. 2 metre distance in is now one metre. Holiday homes and hotels open. Weddings with

30 guests. All changing. Finance trumps health.

Wednesday the 24th of June 2020

2020 strikes again, this time a dental problem for Peter. He's had toothache for a couple of days, went to an

emergency dentist who drilled two live nerves out of his tooth but failed to remove the third because he was

leaping from the chair in agony. Was it even necessary, who knows? And the job not finished. Poor, poor

thing. Painkillers and alcohol. Hoping it'll calm down and he'll sleep. Roller coaster with Meryl too as her

buyer withdrew and then when we thought all was lost, someone else came back with an offer. Very, very

hot today. Went for a walk first thing. Sat in garden with Meryl this afternoon. Apple Head zoom tonight.

Thursday the 25th of June 2020

Stiflingly hot. Went for a walk early this morning and seemed to have lazed about for the rest of the day.

Meryl sunbathing here this afternoon and came back with Steven for a barbeque. Peter's tooth not settled

yet. I might go to sleep downstairs, cooler. Hot in the cast.

Friday the 26th of June 2020.

Peter slept for 13 hours. Too hot for a proper walk today, just the post office. The doctor kindly wrote a

letter saying we can hopefully cancel Portugal and get our money back. Peter still in some pain, Meryl’s

offer on house was accepted, then viewers for tomorrow pulled out. Terrible pictures tonight of children in

Yemen. And mad cowards of youngsters on our beaches here. Death rate will go up again.

Saturday the 27th of June 2020

Feel I'm getting so slow and lazy. Peter slept late after bad night with his tooth. I read. High winds today.

Only walk to Heath food shop and back. Everything is exhausting. Took all towels, scarves and jumpers to

garden and shook them out because of moths. And lovely, lovely cook along with the girls and boyfriends

tonight. Such joy.

Sunday 28th of June 2020

And sorrow today. Meryl making moves to change her wedding to January. The BBC is showing old

Glastonbury highlights this weekend and I was suddenly crying at the sight of all his lovely young people

dancing, singing, hugging, having life. And we've missed this year: books, Peter 60th, holidays, and now

the wedding. It is also very sad.

Monday the 29th of June 2020

The new guidelines for 30 guest weddings were released today. No singing, no responses, no dad walking

down the aisle, so I think Meryl is right to make it to January. Just seem so harsh on her. I spent the

morning on my accounts having sent my first 70,000 words to Celyn for feedback. Met Meryl in G Park.

Walked, talked, came back to hers for more chat and tea. It's been a treat to see so much of her. But

maybe only 25 people died today. If the figures are correct. You can't trust any of it anymore. Peter finally

talked to dentist who can't complete his root canal work. Will try a specialist tomorrow.

Tuesday 30th of June 2020

2020 is a rollercoaster of stress. This morning we thought Shannon was dying, a phone call from Lilly as

they waited for the ambulance. First, news that she hadn't had heart attack, then news that she had, plus

an operation to clear her stents. Terrible for Peter, wanted to go and be with her, needed to stay here for

his dentist appointment on Thursday. Only one person is allowed to be her designated visitor for the time.

She's in hospital so we thought that she ought to be there with Lilly. We will try and go on Friday. Meryl and

Steven came for the afternoon whilst cleaner cleaned their flat. I had a nice zoom with my second singers.

Walking B Park. Lovely necklace and card from Lee.

July

Wednesday the 1st of July 2020

Nothing bad happened. At least not to us. Meryl started her new job [online of course]. Peter spoke to his

mum on the phone. We walked in the park and met Steven and Susan. More people have died of COVID,

and thousands lost their jobs because of it.

Thursday the 2nd of July 2020

Peter's root canal treatment cancelled. They only work Tuesdays and Thursdays and emergencies. Talked

to Rose.

Friday the 3rd of July 2020

And another thing. In Somerset, Shannon has got lung cancer. Peter picked her up from hospital and they

told them. Just the final straw.

Saturday the 4th of July 2020

Today lockdown was formally eased with pubs and hotels opened. No doubt a spike will follow. And we

trying to assimilate Shannon’s terrible news. I finished phoning her friends, and Jasmine came visiting.

[feeling guilty because when Christine turned up with puppies show her yesterday and asked to come in, I

said no]. So much for shielding. Peter distracted himself by getting a motorbike working and going to meet

Ben and have a ride. Shannon wore herself out, talking. Hard to believe she had a heart attack [or two?]

only four days ago. I went for a walk to the farm and actually managed to find my way home. Lots of texts

from friends. Watched documentary about Keith haring the artist. Meryl has changed the date of the

wedding.

Sunday the 5th of July 2020

To go from almost total isolation to meeting so many people is quite exhausting! This afternoon Chris,

Helen, Joe and Beth came over. We sat mostly in the garden but some. Time in the house and probably

touched the same things. Tonight watched Hamilton with Joanne, Emyr, Meryl and Steven. Quite

extraordinary. Wish we could have seen it at the theatre. That trip was Joanne's Christmas present.

Shannon over did it. Can't think of herself as a patient or invalid.

Monday the 6th of July 2020

Another tiring day. Lee’s viva on zoom from 2:00 PM to 5:30 PM (including technical difficulties). But she

passed so that's brilliant! Evening walk by the canal. Shannon stayed in bed today, so as much rested.

Mondays are always less-worse, but they say only 16 people died today.

Tuesday the 7th of July 2020

Rather in limbo here. Went to ALDI this morning [people much better behaved and social distance in in

Somerset]. Peter went for a bike ride with Ben and had a puncture. I stayed with Shannon. Went for a walk

at pass the farm when he came home. Talk to Wendy about a possible holiday. Peter's tooth is sore

tonight. I'm waiting to hear what Celyn thinks of my third draft. Meryl has lowered the price of the flat.

Wednesday the 8th of July 2020

Shannon really hurt herself somehow having a shower today and had to go back to bed. I had a long chat

with her GP. We had a walk by the canal. Lilly, Aidan, Sasha and Liv came over. Very odd having a lot of

people indoors. Zoom Apple Head tonight. Nice to talk to friends. Agent likes book so far, but lots of

changes needed.

Thursday the 9th of July 2020

Something good today, Peter had the second half is root canal treatment, completely paying less. Hurray!

Meryl home from Somerset. Light rain all day talk to Rita premature grandson in ICU. So scary. Watch rite

of spring, should have been at Sadler Wells for Peter's birthday.

Friday the 10th of July 2020

Feeling weepy tonight. Yearning to sit in a room with our daughters, to share a meal, just quietly be

together, to laugh, to hug them so tight and might never let go. Plaster cast hurts too. Peter did a big shop

today. We walked in awkward park. Decision about Shannon's treatment in a couple of weeks.

Saturday the 11th of July 2020

I'd say today was pretty much as good as it gets in these strange days because we saw both the girls. We

went to Joanne's, walked along the canal, even sat down and had a coffee [outdoors, with hand sanitizer

on the menu on a QR code]. Joanne a bit uncertain about the cafe. So I hope it was OK. Then Meryl

popped over and sat in the garden, even a little sunshine. We heard about her new job (should

she/shouldn't she actually go to the office and meet people on Tuesday?). Steven is unwell this week, but

his COVID test came back negative. How on earth has he caught anything just staying at home? All

mucked in pruning the Ace. So lovely to see them both, with time to talk.

Sunday the 12th of July 2020

Such a lovely weekend for a second felt almost normal - the girls yesterday and a good gardening morning

today then down to Sunnyside. Met Josephine and Patrick at their beach hut. Shipping slopes thronged

with people having parties. The lovely chatter of happy humans all around.

Monday the 13th of July 2020

Plaster cast off! Hurray! Never take for granted the feel of air on skin, water on skin, muscles which work.

It's very wonky and claw-like, and swollen and stiff but I'll work on it. And no cast cutting in like manacles

tonight. Hooray! They give me a removable splint. And I had a bath. Bliss! Also today, spent some time

editing v. 4, and Peter and I had lovely walk.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday (14th, 15th, 16th) of July 2020

Three lovely Sunnyside days, working, walking, gardening. Helen and Emyr, Jenna and Alex over (at

different times) sitting in garden, socially distance, what a lot of syllables for ‘apart’. Hand beginning to

move, just a little less claw-like.

Friday the 17th of July 2020

Peter had the peg for his crown formed by Dentist. I cleaned the house, as much as a one-handed person

can. We drove home. Watered garden. A political fuss about the way they count COVID deaths. 65,000

more than the average so far. Public health England saying 45,000. But they are counting everyone who's

had a positive test and subsequently died, no matter how long after, or of what. Maybe we'll never know.

Number still rocked in up in America, India, so many places. Meryl’s gone to Sunnyside for the weekend.

Peter accidentally kicked my hand last night, I feared he'd re broken it, but it's okay.

Saturday the 18th of July 2020

We have friends in our garden! And using the loo! And making tea! Erin and Steven came for lunch, our

first barbecue of the year. And it was a joy [and Peter worked so hard]. Also incredibly and particularly

exhausting. We are so unused to people.

Sunday the 19th of July 2020

Left my splint off for much of the day. Hand still swollen and immobile. Peter trimmed wisteria and hung my

Dutch cover poster. I love it. Meryl came over, nice to see her, though no further on with sale. Dr. pointing

out that viruses remain in the body, and nobody knows what the long-term effects of COVID might be.

Meryl was pretty horrified by the cavalier attitude of people in Sunnyside this weekend.

Monday 20th of July 2020

Joanne says she just finished her 130 days of yoga programme since lockdown, I've been asked to

contribute the architecture chapter for the next Routledge companion to SF. Very proud. Busy day. Yoga.

Right in. Waitrose. Washing. Trying to squeeze flight refund out of Ryanair. Paul to look at front garden

work. Oh, I'm talk about the Oxford vaccine, and an Interferon treatment. The death rate is falling a bit.

Tuesday the 21st of July 2020

Evening the garden with Emma and Joseph. Peter cooked. Delicious. Such a lovely time. Laughter.

Wednesday the 22nd of July 2020

Coffee morning in Barbara’s Garden, nine of us, how actually normal it seemed.

Thursday the 23rd of July 2020

Strangest physiotherapy appointment ever, one hour on the phone and some email video exercises. Sent

off volume four to Harper, so my task for next few weeks is to get my hand work in. Joanne dropped in for

20 minutes on the way to a camping trip. First time she's been home since March. Wendy ate in the garden

with us.

Sunday 26th of July 2020

It's not a bad life at all compared with so many, but you can't help longing for some novelty, a break in the

endless repetition of the days. Nice walks, yesterday and today the pond, and MH Common. Joanne

dropped in yesterday to pick up her tent. Spent the night in central England in torrential rain, and returned it

this morning, exhausted. Barely saw her. Meryl came over this afternoon whilst Steven was watching

football. They actually went out last night, to restaurant and the pub. Said it was all just like normal. We

should have been in Portugal now, on a boat up the Douro River. Bloody COVID. I cut in Peter's hair in the

garden when it started to rain, so I finished it very quickly. May have cut it too short and made a bit of a

mess of it. Oh dear. But he's been very nice about it. Hand moving a bit more, but still just as swollen.

August

Saturday the 1st of August 2020

Some happy time this week, with different things to do. On Wednesday we had a zoom chat with Josephine

and Patrick, on Thursday we went to take books to Lee and celebrate her PhD. Also had a lovely walk in

woods. Yesterday was our 38th wedding anniversary. We were supposed to be meeting Sasha and Alan at

Summer End but they couldn't make it so Kay and Alun came instead and we had a day out. With friends!

Astonishing. And today, best of all, had over 2 darling girls over for a barbecue. First time we had all been

together for 20 weeks. 20 weeks. Peter made this marvellous food and we sat in the sun, low key relaxed.

Cutting Joanne’s hair. Joyful. Meryl had to pick up Steven, drunk after arsenal won.

Friday the 7th of August 2020

A very quiet week. Almost lockdown. Peter's mum talk to the doctor on Tuesday. The highlight of the week

was five of my Apple Head group coming for afternoon tea. I baked scones. We sat outside and respectful

distances and talked. It felt normal and joyful. Today I had a video - physio appointment. And that's all.

Sunday the 9th of August 2020

Heatwave. 35 degrees for days. Peter up half the night with toothache again. Another searing pain. Seen

by an emergency NHS dentist at 10:45 this morning. Amazing NHS. £22.00. 2 antibiotics. Saw Wendy

yesterday and Meryl today. Too hot to do anything.

Monday 10th of August 2020

36 degrees. Some good news at last, Harper likes my book [draught 4.1] says Lucy is a triumph. Probably

won't come into anything, but good start and huge relief. Had a haircut! First time since February.

Tuesday the 11th of August 2020

Too hot to do anything, even to think. Peter went to the EMG appointment -electric shocks, just what he

needed on top of jaw ache, the heat and worry about his mum and his dentistry.

Wednesday the 12th of August 2020

Sixth consecutive day of over 34 degrees in London. We went to Sunnyside for Peter's dental appointment.

1 crown fitted. One tooth extracted! Poor thing. Saw Gladys lunch at Leonard’s Bar. I sat on beach. Had

paddle, but tide was too far out to swim. Water was warm.

Sunday 17th of August 2020

And then the rain came. Thunder, lightning, pouring tropical rain, which battered down the phlox. Saturday,

Meryl and Steven came to share Marks and Spencer’s dine in two for 12 meal. Today a scrumptious feast

prepared by Maria for Joanne and Emyr. She, they, hadn’t seen Emyr since February. Garden and food

both amazing. Now to Sunnyside.

Sunnyside week

Sunday the 17th to Saturday the 22nd of August 2020

Monday: dental hygienist. First time for six months. Pm to Kelsey's house for social distance cuppa tea.

Evening, listen Emyr over, sat in garden till 10:00 PM, very dark.

Tuesday: Shannon had her PET scan. Went to P Bay and sandwiches with Hugo and Patrick. Like a

holiday.

Wednesday: A Morgan came to interview me for the ‘FLN’s Writer Aloud’ podcast. Jenna popped in for tea.

Actually, had my first swim of 2020, made my hand hurt, but also worth it. Rain.

Thursday: Paperback publication day and an adventure. Went by train [shock horror] fully masked of

course to central London. Walk from Kings Cross to Farrington and had lunch with Celyn and Harper.

Delicious food, great conversation. Champagne on ice when I arrived. And it wasn't too bad wearing a

mask on the train, though some people weren't bothering. Train stopped and Peter kindly met me and we

went for a walk around the Quay and hard a drink in the sunshine and the hoppy smells of the brewery.

Being in London felt at once or strange and daring and so normal. So, I now have a paperback. I'm

Lennon's paperback writer.

Friday: A rather amazing day. A 20-minute interview on radio Kent. Then to Station Hill, a walk-

through apple and cherry fields before lunch with Josephine and Patrick in the pub. Then to Waterstones

where I finally got to see my book in a book shop, on the table and in the window. And signed them. Very

special. Still not quite real, but starting to be more so. Last night in Sunnyside.

23rd to 28th of August 2020

Home alone!

Peter had to go to his mums. I have to stay for a bone scan. So tiny taste of what life was like for those who

live alone. I don't think I would have coped lockdown alone. I've seen lots of people. Meryl came over

Sunday afternoon. We charted call ma watch the city film, it together.

Monday: bone scan – “these are the days of miracles and wonders.”. Afternoon, walk down to Helen's for

Apple Head group in her garden. Lovely to talk to a group of people, different opinions, new ideas.

Tuesday: I had my video physio appointment [very good] and a phone doctor appointment [annoyingly

dismissive of continued swelling]. Walk down to the post office and B Park. Met Helen and then Barbara

who insisted on hugging me. I don't even hug my children! A lovely tea at Meryl’s, cooked by her. I thought

I'd get back to the new novel this week but spent all day on publicity articles etc for the paperback.

Wednesday: I struggled with life admin trying to reclaim costs about flights, Virgin Media is Jenna’s, phone

problems. Here that's all 1000 bucks in the first week! Wendy came over.

Thursday: Cold. Raining. Feels like November. Shannon saw Doctor Who said she's got four patches of

cancer in different places. Retched bloody 2020. Most possible treatment seemed to be out of the question.

Poor, poor Peter.

To East Anglia

Friday 28th of August 2020

16 degrees! Peter drove home and quickly turned around to go to East Anglia. I was worried, but he

seemed OK. A long drive. Lot of traffic heading up to London. The guest house straight out of the 1970s,

with extra COVID precautions including no cooked breakfasts. There is only hot water from 9:00 AM to 7:00

AM and 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM! Went straight over to Sasha and Alan’s and had a lovely meal with them.

They hugged and kissed us. It felt so strange. By 9:00 PM Peter was falling asleep.

Saturday 29th of August 2020

13 degrees and rain.

After our continental breakfast (over which we read local guide) we set out for a country walk. The weather

said dry this morning, but it immediately began to rain, blowing in our faces, dripping off our coats, soaking

our feet. We were sodden. Took our wet things to Sasha’s to tumble-dry. Had soup for lunch. Curled up on

the sofa and went to sleep. Peter watch sport with Alun. I talked to Sasha. Lovely beef casserole.

Sunday 30th of August 2020

12 degrees

We went to the coast. Cold. Windy. But dry. I thought I might swim, but the crashing grey waves were not

inviting. We went to the beach, where there was meant to be a festival. But, all we found were tightly

packed crowds and a lot of amusement arcades. Walked along beach. Back to Sasha’s for afternoon and

evening. Peter cooked a chicken and we watched a detective thing.

Monday thirty 31st of August 2020

16 degrees

Went Sunnyside. Great broad. Walked around it. Watched men race in motorised model dingys. Lunch with

Sasha and Alun. Lovely lunch, much laughter. But I forgot that too much fat makes me feel sick, goats

cheese and lemon posset was too much, so had to lie down we got back to their house. Sad to say

goodbye to them.

September

Tuesday the 1st of September 2020

20 degrees

Art deco on the seaside. So enjoyable. First exhibition since February? Then today's there is lots of nice

food, but she just been sick and we couldn't go in. Distressing to see her ill and have to leave her. Walked

round. RSPB, didn't see a single bird! Good to be home together. Joanne arrived in Sunnyside. Meryl had a

full day at the office, her first. Peter decided to give up Jones’ marketing and promotion graphics. The

seasons shift. The children go back to school. What next?

March to September 2020

This feels like a place to stop, even know COVID-19 certainly isn't over, and a horrible year may still

get worse with Shannon's cancer. We never could have imagined that a virus would come out of the blue

and change our lives so utterly. I haven't hugged and kissed my own children for six months. All our plans

and hopes swill down the drain, travel, theatre trips, book launches and sales, birthdays, and the wedding

which would of been this weekend. The additional troubles, broken wrist, tooth agony, Shannon's heart

attack and cancer. Now, in early September, we're testing more people than ever, and

diagnose in 1250 cases a day, but few of them need to be hospitalised and a very small number die, and

average of 10 a day compared with 30 from breast cancer and 30 from prostate cancer. Nobody seems to

know why hospitalizations have fallen, is the virus mutating to a less deadly form or our precautions giving

us infection which with much lower viral load? [who knew about viral load in March?].

And what next, vaccines in

clinical trials across the world, steroids been used successfully to treat very sick patients. But nobody

knows both long term effects. So many other changes in our lives. Meryl keen to move somewhere with

outdoor space. She has gone back to the office two or three days a week, but Steven won't return until the

new year. Joanne and Emyr’s university is going to be operating partly online and partly in person. Schools

about to reopen. What will this have done to whole generation of children? For us of course not much will

change. I'll finish the novel I've begun and hopefully sell it. Peter wants to stop doing his marketing and

publicity work but keep on the rest. The Book sold 1000 copies in paperback. Hopefully that will continue.

Hopefully my poetry collection will be published. It would be lovely to go to Spain for my novel research, but

the COVID numbers there are raising again.

I hope city centre officers will become living accommodation, I hope people

will demand a better work life balance, I hope we stop flying everywhere for meetings, I hope we can

refocus back on the climate of urgency, I hope will get a vaccine. I hope we can cuddle our children.

I feel older and more tired than I did in March. Sort of

wearied by it all and needing the novelty of travel, parties, theatre, exhibitions, protest marches, poetry

readings, all the taken for granted stuff of normal life. But we've been so lucky, not to catch it [yet], to have

not one but two lovely homes we can be together and separate as we wish, gardens to step out into,

nearby parks or seaside, company in the house, friends, summer in gardens, our dear, dear girls, I've

enjoyed my daily yoga, our daily walk together, my writing time. In many ways I feel so blessed, warm

home, good food, books, films, conversation, another novel taken shape. Forward. Onward. And praying for

a vaccine. So many things we want which can't be bought. Peter's mum continue as well as possible for as

long as possible, Rose to have some respite from her health problems and be found a nice affordable flat,

Meryl and Steven to get a buyer for their flat and find a lovely house, Joanne to work less hard and find a

bigger place to live, my book to sell well and Harper to buy the second novel, my 6 th poetry collection finally

get published, the all clear to hold Meryl’s wedding and most of all to wrap our arms around her daughters

and hold them for the longest time.

Roz January to March 2021 – the full COVID circle

We were so, so happy to see the back of 2020, and then 2021 began and was just more of the same.

January and February were dark, bleak and mostly cheerless. P took his mum home, and I was so nervous

about all the people he’d met that I slunk off and slept in the spare room for a week, and make him have

two lateral flow tests at the old library. He knew he wouldn’t be allowed to go to see her again till March or

April and felt guilty and miserable about it, as his daily Facetimes showed her getting less and less well.

There were some points of light of-course: the Zoom with the family for my birthday and regular chats or

cook-a-longs with them, as we followed J’s house viewing marathon.

We picked up our ‘watch all the Oscar winners’ game with J & P and started to power through a couple of

movies a week. Almost finished now – all the way from 1927 to the present. We are agreed that mostly the

Academy fails to pick the best film of the year! We did weekly Zooms in which we took turns to present our

5 favourite ‘desert island discs’ and learned a lot about our backgrounds. Some people just played their

tracks, others did power points. P’s included film clips and quizzes! The AH Group zooms became ever

more interesting as we explored topics including ‘what perfume defines you’ and ‘what was your first job.’

I talked to a couple of book groups who’d been reading The Book, and it was lovely to have enthusiastic

validation and interesting questions. I worked on he editor to get my next collection typeset. I have been

reading at the rate I’d expected to at the beginning of the first lockdown, just devouring books, mostly

poetry and historical novels.

We went for a walk every day – mostly the same old parks and woods. Or sometimes I walked with H or K

or K & A or - about once a month drove down to J and walked around the park near her. Not allowed to go

inside to use the loo, so had to drink nothing before going and have to just be away for 3 – 4 hours!.

Wonder of wonders I had my first vaccination on 29th Jan and Peter had his on 3rd Feb – much sooner than

we had expected. I got the text inviting me to it on my birthday - best birthday present ever. Who’d have

thought? We found ourselves less terrified of people on the street almost immediately, though still getting

all our shopping online from Tesco, and only going to M & S for emergency run-outs or to the Post Office

from time to time. I don’t miss shopping at all. T baking a lot of bread.

I increased from 2 to 3 weekly calls to old people on their own. I tried to keep in touch with my cousin and

W and K and S - everyone I know who is on their own through this horror.

At the end of Feb things took a turn for the even worse as M was made redundant and S developed a urine

infection. I wanted to stay with M, but felt I was needed more at S’s. We went down for a week till she was

less confused, and put in place rotas of carers and help from the hospice, a wrist alarm etc etc. Some days

I was literally talking to two people on different phones at the same time. She was sleeping 24 hours a day

when we arrived and had to be woken to drink something. By the time we left, she was back on her feet,

though has lost over a stone since the beginning of January.

In March M was put on gardening leave, and I was helping her every day with job applications. All seems

rather hopeless. She’s over-qualified for all the jobs she’s applying for and they don’t look at all interesting.

Added to that, her flat sale and house purchase is moving at a snail’s pace. All very, very stressful. By late

March, S was vomiting every day and having panic attacks, so she was taken into the hospice to get her

meds sorted out. We went down just for the weekend to get her settled. She seemed very happy there –

obviously felt safe.

My book was typeset, and then P put some marvellous finishing touches. He was so, so patient. And it

finally, finally went off to print

At the end of March I had Zoom events every night – book launches and so on. Peter went back to escort S

home from the hospice. I stayed at home because on March 29th we were allowed people in the garden for

the first time, and I had 5 members of the AH group – and the sun shone and I made a simnel cake. And it

was marvellous. (But also unexpectedly tiring.) I think it may take some time to get used to being together

with real people again.

Everything has felt in limbo for the first 3 months of the year, and very stressful as we worry about S and M

and J. The fact that my publishing has finally taken off seems somehow ironic, as if the gods are having a

good laugh. It’s what I’ve wanted all my life and now I’d swap it in a trice to be able to hug my kids and see

them happy.

But looking forward, spring is blooming all around us, the evenings are light at last, the sun is coming out,

we can see people in gardens, we have booked two holidays – one in Cornwall and one in Yorkshire.

Hopefully the girls house purchases will go ahead, M will find a job, my book will come out, and the other

will be edited, and we will one day be allowed to hold each other in our arms.