Corona Diaries

Sofia

“I used my time during the pandemic to get a TEFL teacher’s qualification”

Background Information

Female, aged 55-64, Teacher in Philologist, lived in the UK with Husband Marc [who suffers from

Bipolar] for 20 years, Currently living in Lithuania to care for 85-year-old mother, One adult child

[aged 40], White, Born Catholic.

Marc and I last year on our 22nd wedding anniversary.

It’s a pity I found out about this project just when it was approaching the end. At the same time, it has

coincided with a very stressful time in my life. I lived in the UK with my English husband Marc for about 20

years. Then my mom became unwell and I had to go to Lithuania to look after her as my sister just refused

to deal with mother’s illness. For the last 15 years, my mother has been having diabetes with insulin

injections, last 7 years with dementia and last week it became apparent that for the last eight months I have

been looking after her with slowly growing bile duct cancer. She will be 85 years old in August

and has just been admitted to hospital where we cannot visit her and take care of her because of the

quarantine. Her food needs to be looked after, as she has been losing her appetite over these months, her

dentures, disposable pants, meds – she does not know the names of the meds and keeps forgetting where

she has put her things…

Anyway, we all have difficult patches in our lives.

I will present some photographs of Lithuania and the beautiful little town where I have been living over the

pandemic.

The next photo is of me in front of the computer where I was doing my English teacher’s training

course from London at our local library as my internet was getting stuck at home. I used my time during the

pandemic to get a TEFL teacher’s qualification but I will only be able to start any job when I have no more

caring duties. They have taken nearly six years out of my life (plus three years helping my mom to look

after my granddad in 1988 – 1991), I am not getting any younger myself, and I will be sixty in June. It’s a

terrible predicament for women of my generation – the sandwich generation between the needs of children,

grandchildren and elderly parents. It just happens. Women just get stuck. In my case the additional

challenge is my (and my husband’s) bipolar disorder which we both manage without medication. That is

an achievement I am very proud of. However, not many people realise how challenging it is to learn to live

well with bipolar disorder without meds and manage incredibly difficult life situations (my

first bipolar episode happened almost 40 years ago).

Am having lunch in my yard in summer. It is lovely to have a house during pandemic. Grandpa built it in

1953, bless him.

This is another lovely corner of my home. A gorgeous tree the name of which I keep forgetting. It’s a

blessing in summer to sit under it and have coffee. Or tea.

Marc and I have been visiting a nearby resort on the Baltic Coast many times. I used to go to church to

sing in the choir on Sundays. But it has been on hold for more than a year now. Limited access

to the church. Sensible people avoid large indoor gatherings. The government keeps closing access to

Baltic Coast itself from time to time in order to control the spread of pandemics. This picture is from our last

summer visit.

The pine trees are just by the dunes and the sea in the distance. Gorgeous place. I love going there all by

myself. There is a designated space for women who want to sunbathe in the nude, which I find very

relaxing. I only stay for an hour maximum in the sun by the sea before 11 o’clock. It helps me to recharge

batteries for the rest of the year, which is coldish and dampish. My husband is not a sun worshipper. If he

comes to the seaside together with me, he spends time in a café with a book and a cup of coffee. I can’t

wait for the summer to arrive. This way one can save a lot of money. You do not have to travel anywhere –

a beautiful resort just flops into your arms in May – June – July – August – September. Sometimes April is

also nice. There are more beautiful places to enjoy summer in Lithuania on the seacoast.

Another beautiful vantage point about 15 km from where I live. Last summer. Gorgeous Baltic Sea.

And this is my childhood friend Lina whose mother’s home is on the other side of the street. You can see

the picture of her mother’s house below.

I took this picture of Lina when she and I were both about fourteen years old in my

grandparents’ back yard. About ten years ago, she remembered it and asked me to give it to her. She

treated me to a lovely duck dish for that. I remembered that photo myself recently and asked her to send

me a picture of it on WhatsApp. She happily obliged. I am the proud author of this photograph. It was taken

with my father’s camera using various Russian gadgets at around 1975 and had to be sent away for

developing. I am surprised my father did not see a potential in me becoming a photographer and did not

encourage me to pursue more photography. Lina has been living in Holland for the last three decades

and has got a Dutch passport. Last summer she told me that she had been a dissident and was pursued by

the KGB just before the Lithuanian independence. I did not know that because I was away from her for a

very long period of time. She took me and Marc to visit her cousin. During our visit, a family secret came

out. Lina has got a Jewish great-grandmother. It had to be kept a secret during WWII for the great

granny to survive… Fascinating.

Enjoying ice cream in Baltic Coast last summer. No masks. Few people in the library here. Marc and I at

our local café last summer. It has been closed for many months now.

The view from the same café just before Christmas lockdown last year.

Last summer my friend Vicky visited my native town, the port city where I did my schooling. We are in a

café here in front of our historic Theatre. Vicky lives in Ireland now. We used to be colleagues’ interpreters

in the UK before. She is a lovely person and a good friend.

That’s us during better times on the Isle of Man. And now I only have my grandchildren’s artwork near my

bed to admire.

The photo on the right – my grandchildren and their neighbours’ daughter sharing a gap in the fence to

socialize during the pandemic. They were excellent neighbours of my daughter’s family on the Isle of Man.

My daughter with her family moved to the Isle of Man when I went to Lithuania. She is a dentist and got a

job there. I would visit them once – twice a year to give a helping hand. Now the visits had to stop. I have

not seen them in person for more than two years due to Covid-19. The Isle of Man was shut. I had not

received my Covid-19 jabs then so no travelling, obviously.

This lady lives in Baltic Coast. In the picture on the right, she is 95 years old. The picture on the left was

taken two years ago.

She has survived the pandemic so well and has recently got her jabs.

We got acquainted in a café but I have to keep telling her who I am every time I see her. She is such a

survivor!!

I was picking wild blueberries last autumn when we could only go to local parks and forests. A lovely friend

of mine took Marc and me to the forest for berry picking. Marc does not like driving and I haven’t got a

driving licence. We are not car people, we are public transport people. Sometimes our choices are limited

because of that but we are happy. It saves us a lot of money and anguish – no road rage and petrol and

maintenance expenses.

It’s our local protected area here, where the berries are. I have been so careful that

I got vaccinated against encephalitis the tick born disease in February and March.

That’s my mother and me last year in August. Lina took us to the seaside by car. Mother needs a lot of care

but for other people it seems as if “it’s so easy to look after her”. It drives me mad when I hear these things.

I am doing everything for her except wipe her bum. However, only people who have had similar experience

can appreciate that.

A former teacher colleague kindly offered to take mother to her childhood countryside near our town last

summer. It was such a poignant visit to me. My great grandfather built an organ at the local village

church. But it was closed and we could not get in. I will have to follow it up in the future.

There was a folk song and dance festival in Baltic Coast last summer. People have been unflappable.

Trying some masks from Accessorize.

During the pandemic, I finished a tourist guide course. Because of the course, I had to join Facebook as we

had to complete the course online.

And now – the sights of last glorious winter in Lithuania.

The view from the threshold of my house.

Selfie in a thick pullover in front of the computer.

Christmas selfie.

My winter composition

Celebrating my friend’s 70th birthday in my greenhouse with social distancing last month.

My beautiful town and my pretty Christmas tree in front of my mother’s room. Very ecologically friendly!! In

the photo below – our last prepandemic meeting in 2019 – my daughter, my grandchildren and a family

friend.

My grandchildren grew up over the pandemic and my heart melted away with sorrow for not having been

able to visit them. The photo above – my daughter and grandchildren just before leaving the Isle of Man

and moving to Portugal two weeks ago.

And finally – my first anti-covid jab. I asked for Astra Zeneca because it has been easier to get it due to

some absurd unfounded panic regarding supposed side effects. I trust the Oxford scientists. I had shivers

and some fever last night. The vaccine worked well. I am feeling fine today. My next dose is in 12 weeks.

Life goes on. I hope I will be able to see my grandchildren soon.