Corona Diaries

Stella

“My mood dipped last night…whatever the reason, it made me feel a bit panicky that our grandchildren are

growing up and we may not get the chance to be properly involved in their lives as we have been up till

now.”

Background Information

Female, aged 65-74, Children’s Books Author, South Wales, White, Married to Paul, Five adult

children and nine grandchildren.

March 2020

Sunday 8th

Have I mentioned the Coronavirus? Sweeping through poor old Italy like a plague. Over 2000 deaths to

date and a 25% hike today on the numbers diagnosed. Started in the Chinese region of Wuhan in January.

As for the UK – we’re waiting for the inevitable, I guess. Around 230 cases so far. Will it stop us flying to

Portugal a week today with Steve and Greta (close friends)? Probably. The thought of being confined in a

plane and the security queues isn’t appealing. And would we really enjoy being abroad, wondering if we

might not be able to fly home? And then probably feel we’d need to ‘self-isolate’ to protect family and

friends. I went to the World Day of Prayer last Friday, decided in advance not to shake hands with anyone.

That didn’t go down well with some people, the implication being I was taking things too seriously! We’ll

see.

Saturday 14th

Coronavirus is now officially a pandemic. Affecting in varying degrees most countries – Italy and Spain

being the worst affected in Europe to date. People with symptoms are being told to ‘self-isolate’ and that’s

what elderly at risk folk like Dad should be doing too. As yet we don’t know anyone who’s caught the virus

but it’s spreading alarmingly so that will no doubt change very soon. Football matches have stopped, office

staff told to work at home and we’ve cancelled our Lisbon break and rescheduled Center Parcs for 2021.

Wimbledon is unlikely to happen, schools are expected to close for four weeks minimum over Easter and

Donald Trump has called for a nationwide Day of Prayer tomorrow. Overall, it feels like we’ve stepped into

the plot of a dystopian novel!

However, we did something nice and normal today, celebrating Mum C’s (mother-in-law) 95th birthday with

an afternoon tea at the Manor Parc for the whole family. Our five were all there with most of their partners

along with our eight (nearly nine!) grandkids. And Ned and Sally and Tom and girlfriend (in-laws) came too.

Who knows, it may be our last family get-together for some time.

Tuesday 17th

Today is Day One of the C-virus restrictions. Didn’t really know what word to use. Paul (husband) and I

aren’t quarantined or self-isolating (because we need to help Dad and Mum C and maybe the children at

some point) but we are definitely (and here’s another new verb!) ‘social-distancing.’ In other words keeping

a minimum of six feet between one another. And families have been told to keep to themselves if anyone

has a cough or fever (the first symptoms) It feels quite scary thinking about it too much, who it might affect

among our family and friends. But we are praying God will bring us through this without the devastatin g

death toll countries like Italy are seeing.

In our family, Ryan (son-in-law) is likely to be on the frontline soon, Gary and Matthew (SILs) are both

working their last day in the office and Jade (daughter) and James (SIL) are self-isolating because James

has a cough (tail end of a cold he thinks.) Schools and Carol the Childminder remain open but we sense

not for long. Helene (daughter) is at work in the church office today but expecting to work from home for the

foreseeable. Paul is anxious to keep out of everyone’s way due to his high BP and 70+ year olds (which he

nearly is) come into the at-greater-risk category. Nicola and Keith (in laws) are taking the boys to school to

protect Sally (daughter-in-law). Baby Wheeler is due to arrive at the peak of the epidemic apparently!

I’m just back from a walk to the Co-op. Streets are quiet, an eerie stillness everywhere. But yesterday we

enjoyed a beautiful walk along the Chew Trail as far as Gorg Park. The sun was glorious, warm even,

gleaming on the fast-flowing river. There were plenty of people around, not just walkers but runners and

cyclists too as though everyone had a sense we needed to celebrate and take advantage of days like

yesterday when we are walking into darker days ahead. And it made me realise, birds are still singing and

nesting for new life and the trees and bushes will soon be in blossom, flowers blooming. Praise God for

these signs of his creation!

Reading Psalm 91 today and thinking that we need to look for God’s purpose in all this – helping the frail

and the vulnerable; praying for those who may lose their income and for those working selflessly in frontline

roles in the NHS. Looking out in other words, not in.

Wednesday 18th

Late start, woken by Kate (daughter in England), bright and upbeat, telling us she and the kids had been

singing Rend Collective at breakfast! A solid reminder to keep trusting and not succumb to fear.

Dropped a note into Cece Brown (neighbour) offering to do some shopping. She has no family locally.

Angharad (house in the corner) has kindly offered to shop too. She dropped a note through the letterbox.

Golly I thought, she thinks we’re in the needing-to-be-shielded category! Rang Dad later. He’s okay but will

be looking like Paul the Baptist by the time this is all over. I thought he was due a haircut when I saw him

Saturday.

The day didn’t end well though. Paul’s still reading all the hard-hitting, doom and gloom stuff online and

letting it get to him. I can’t stand it and told him so. There is no point in speculating how all this is going to

play out. We have to follow the necessary steps we’ve been told to and take each day as it comes. There

are soldiers on the streets of France keeping people in – Paul is convinced it will happen here. And that this

will last six months not three as we have been told to expect.

Thursday 19th

Time is not dragging, perhaps because instead of going out to meet people, I’m spending hours on the

phone! WhatsApp video calls have become my thing. So nice to see a friendly face when you’re not sure of

the next time you’ll see them in the flesh.

Having said that I managed a walk with Bethan (daughter) and Owain (grandson) this afternoon keeping

two metres apart. Not easy especially when cars were passing and we had to keep repeating what we’d

said. Not sure we’ll be able to do that again.

Paul and I have decided to break open the West Wing boxed set for the C-virus season. Like revisiting an

old friend! And I broke open a bottle of Mud House! All too easy to think we need to keep treating

ourselves. Numbers are climbing but they say we have another twelve weeks to go before they peak. Not

sure that’s the best note to end on tonight, but as the Americans say ‘In God we trust.’

Friday 20th

Sunshine at last for the start of spring tomorrow? We took advantage and headed down to Mordaw then

detoured to Talbor Gardens where it’s free to park at the moment.

Schools across the UK closed their doors today until who knows when. It hit the England grandchildren

hard. Eloise even took a photo of Freddie (grandson) and his besties and put it on the WhatsApp group. I

guess they’ll all be able to ‘see’ their friends in the coming weeks but only at a distance, and Jade’s Year

Eleven students – no prom or end of year celebrations for them and as there’s no sixth form at her school,

it’s the end of school altogether for many. Hard times indeed!

Thankfully Boris has finally taken the decision to close all pubs, bars, restaurants and leisure centres...

Saturday 21st

...and not before time! People in Squash were still flocking to the Butchers and Café. Some places are now

offering takeaways, and delivering. We had a delicious meal from the Italian this evening. We want to

support local eating places so they’ll still be open for business when this is all over.

Took a walk around the village, spoke to Big Issue Erika (with a two metre gap). Gave her some money.

Who knows how long she’ll be able to continue? Going into the Co-op to buy a few things wasn’t a

comfortable experience afterwards. Impossible to keep a distance. I spent time later while Paul was at the

allotment, reading and listening to Edward’s (church minister) talk from Sunday. The subject – living the

fearless life. Psalm 23.

Sunday 22nd

Really struggling today with anxiety and negative feelings and not seeing (meaningfully) my kids and

grandkids on Mother’s Day. And I’ve dropped my phone down the loo so being out of touch with everyone

isn’t good either. God, I need you to make everything I read and heard yesterday, real in the deepest parts

of my heart and head.

I’ve just signed up for an hour of prayer for Coronavirus on Pete Greig’s 24/7 prayer app...

...and loved it! It felt good to be part of something big, worldwide, all praying separately but at the same

time for our governments and ordinary people living through and dying from this horrific virus.

After that, using this new Zoom platform we managed to connect all six households in our family, with

everyone talking over one another and lots of laughter and banter.. A real Mothers Day treat.

Monday 23rd

Daniel (son) shopped for Dad today. I spoke to Dad on the phone through his patio window later. Still in

pyjamas at midday he was cheerful and finding plenty to keep him occupied.

Daniel called by to ours too with a roast lamb dinner and my Mother’s Day card. Lovely to see Beau with

him.

Tried not to read too many of the scary headlines in the Telegraph, comparing the UK trajectory with Italy’s.

At the daily briefing the PM explained what lockdown is and how it will be applied. So basically we have to

STAY AT HOME to protect the NHS, only allowed out to shop (one person per household) and for one

hour’s exercise per day.

Also worked on editing my MS. And gave some thought to what to say to Inclusive Minds about the cultural

appropriation issues.

Tuesday 24th

Been out in the garden today, sweeping and tidying and forking the earth. It’s looking quite colourful out

there – camellias, daffs, narcissi, primula, forsythia and veronica. The world has gone crazy but spring is

well on its way.

Been for a walk. Village is like a ghost town. Only the Pharmacy, Co-op and the bakery open.

Did some baking – Sultana Oat Cookies, because it’s nice to have something with the many more cups of

tea we’re drinking!

Wednesday 25th

The NHS is asking for 250,000 volunteers to do stuff like delivering medicines to vulnerable people, driving

them to hospital appointments etc. There’s a part of me that wants to sign up to help, instead of just staying

at home and sitting this out. But I know Paul wouldn’t be happy with that. He’s so worried about contracting

the virus himself, because his BP (controlled with drugs) apparently puts him at a higher risk. I’m not ready

to feel ‘old’, needing to be ‘looked after’. I’m only 67 for goodness sake! And this whole thing about just

looking out for ourselves doesn’t sit well.

One really good thing that has come out of this however is that every evening when we turn off the TV we

read a short piece from the Bible and pray together - for our family, the NHS, people we know who are

either ill with the virus or struggling with the lockdown.

Thursday 26th

Over half a million people in England have volunteered to help the NHS! And that’s in only 48 hours! Not

sure what’s happening in Wales. I’m contenting myself with ringing a few of the much older folk in church to

see how they’re managing. Most of them have family support but hopefully another call helps. Of course I’m

doing this for myself as much as them – to stave off the feeling of being useless.

Tonight at 8pm we stood on our doorsteps and joined in the nationwide Clap for the NHS. About half the

households in our small close joined in and I felt emotional listening to the clapping and cheering of many,

many voices all over our village. Ryan is working long hours in Pharmacy, not on the frontline yet but with

the prospect of nine-day shifts being introduced as we move towards what is expected to be the peak of the

virus. It occurred to me this morning that never before have NHS staff been required to respond in this way,

for some, possibly laying down their lives for others as they turn up for work each day. What a staggering

and sober thought that is. Humbling too.

Friday 27th

Bethan dropped off some homemade Welsh cakes – very welcome!

Still struggling with feeling guilty about not helping in an out-there practical sense. I need to learn to be

contented as far as possible within these restrictions on movement and social contact. I guess it’s going to

take time to navigate these unfamiliar waters and work out the best way to live and make the most of all

this free time. It certainly won’t be shopping! The children are insisting they do ours for us from now on.

Saturday 28th

Stayed in bed till 10am reading ‘All the Light We Cannot See,’ set in WW2. Took me a while to get into it,

but really enjoying it now.

Dad is doing well. I popped up with a meal and his meds. He has an I-phone now thanks to Sabrina (sister),

so we can WhatsApp video call him. Impressive! He’s 92 and still taking new skills on board.

Reading my Bible and reminded that I always have a choice when life threatens to overwhelm me – focus

on my situation or fix my eyes on Jesus. He is more powerful than Covid-19 and will walk alongside me

through this storm.

Sunday 29th

Two hours chatting on the phone – to Haley (friend), Eloise, Helene and then my lovely brother. Such a

nice surprise!

So many things we’re doing differently in this season. Like walking over to see Mum C and talking to her

from the front gate. Good to do that rather than just phone. And even though it was cold and blustery it was

a great afternoon to get out.

Church service this morning courtesy of Facebook live streaming. Edward spoke and Alison (his wife) led

worship on the piano. We sang along at home, no inhibitions – who’d have ever thought?

Monday 30th

Yesterday Paul and I ended the day with supper at the kitchen table for a change (not on our laps in front of

the TV). Lovely James had brought us a date night supper including a soft-yolk Scotch Egg starter – yum!

We actually talked to one another rather than scrolling through the news on our phones. Teenagers or

what!!

Tuesday 31st

Ironed a few clothes today. Fed up with jeans and the usual tops! Trying to wear something different every

day even though we’re not ‘going out’ in the same way as usual.

A WhatsApp call with Nicola who’s back working at her old care home made me think I should be doing

more again. I rang Bill (friend) later to see how he’s doing. Can’t believe it’s over two months since Janine

(his wife) died. She would have hated having to be confined at home.

Sun was still out at 5pm so I went walking. Kept having to dodge other walkers – it’s hard to keep

remembering. When I got home I ordered some activity books for the English Three. Eloise is finding home-

schooling them all hard going. I know I would. Imagine having to do that with our five when they were all

younger!

April 2020

Wednesday 1st

Planning special stuff for Eloise’s 40th on the 18th. No more Murder Mystery evening. But we’ll make it lots

of fun I’m sure.

Did 25 minutes of Pilates on the lounge floor following Faye’s (Instructor) video. Felt a bit shaky when I

finished. Probably taking it too fast. Maybe I’ll join in the Zoom session next week.

Church met for Communion and prayer on Zoom this evening. It felt good to be together.

Thursday 2nd

Over 70,000 people have died worldwide. Keeping that in mind as we were outside again this evening

clapping and cheering for our amazing NHS staff and all the key workers. Looks like it’s set to become a

weekly event. It’s also proving to be an opportunity to connect with neighbours we don’t know so well. And

as our Helene said afterwards, it puts our own struggles into perspective.

Started using the Covid-19 Symptom Tracker – reporting daily on the phone app. It’s designed to help slow

the spread but with only 3.5 million people using it I’m not sure how much use it will be.

Friday 3rd

I cut Paul’s hair this morning. That’s a first! He thought I did a better job than he’d expected and that’s goes

for me too.

Another first this year – I hung the washing out. And sat in the garden later, reading. The breeze was cool

but the sun shone all day.

And I finally got around to making some Old Dowerhouse chutney (we ran out over a month ago and no

other tastes as good with curry, in my opinion anyway!)

Later I walked down to Paul’s allotment to see how he’s getting on. Lots of digging to do, he says. It’s very

overgrown and untidy after almost six months of neglect – so much rain last winter made it impossible for

him to keep in tidy.

I’m missing not seeing the grandbabes – all of them! Bethan called with Owain on Tuesday or Wednesday

(I honestly can’t remember) and though it was a treat to see him she couldn’t let him out of the car in case

he ran to us. Sally sent us video of Richie and Beau doing their own version of the Joe Wicks workout on

morning TV – so glad we can keep in touch in that way.

Saturday 4th

Dad’s birthday - packed with Zoom calls and popping up to ‘see’ him. He adjusted to the way we were all

able to gather online very well. Lewis (my brother) set it all up and by 3pm, a host of children, grandchildren

and great-grands (around seventeen of us) were all chatting and exchanging news. We even managed to

sing Happy Birthday! Who’d ever have thought he’d be celebrating his 92nd in such spectacular fashion?

Earlier Paul and I had a nice ninety minutes or so with Eloise pretty much on her own, catching up on how

their second week at home has been a significant improvement on the first. Matthew’s had to reduce his

working hours by four and Eloise may have to do the same but they are adapting well and the children have

coped well with a mix of home-schooling and garden play. We sent them dot-to-dot books appropriate for

their ages and I could tell by their faces they were happy to receive them. I’ve done the same for Richie and

Beau.

The final Zoom of the day (no, it was Google Hangout!) featured a family quiz Bethan had found online. It

was good fun and for once Matthew didn’t win! We did instead, thanks to Paul’s excellent geographical

skills on the map of Europe round.

We are so thankful for all the means of keeping in touch with the family and being able to order goods

online. I can’t imagine how much more testing a time like this would have been with five children at home

twenty five years ago.

Sunday 5th

It’s 1.20pm and the warm breeze has enticed me into the garden. Grateful to have this small space

knowing others are stuck in apartment blocks or single rooms like our Big Issue friend Erika. We have no

way of contacting her. Praying is all we can do right now. I do hope she’ll return to her pitch in the village

once this is over.

Terrence Johns (Consultant Surgeon friend) was back at church this morning. He joked in the comments -

‘Hello, still alive!’ He’s been really poorly by all accounts, with a fever and cough keeping him awake at

night. Thankfully through the worst of it though still weak and sleeping a lot.

I woke up feeling anxious this morning. Bethan said Owain was coughing last night, then vomiting. He’s

okay now but it made me realise how vulnerable both he and Gary (who has asthma and has been unwell

with a cold and sore throat) are. They are going to self-isolate for a couple of weeks. I want to help with

shopping but neither Bethan nor Jade think that’s a good idea.

Paul and I are continuing to pray every night before bed, for protection over our family and ourselves. This

morning Jonah Robson (church minister) prayed for a different kind of protection – over our hearts and

minds, freedom from fear. A daily battle I’m finding.

Monday 6th

It was tremendously moving to listen to the Queen speaking to the nation on TV last night. In just over five

minutes she covered everything that needed to be said – the debt we owe NHS staff, the grief of those who

have lost loved ones, the pain of being separated from our families, the financial difficulties for some

people. And just the sense that together we can get through this time. We will meet again!

Tonight we prayed for the PM, Boris Johnson. He’s been ill at Downing St with the Coronavirus for a couple

of weeks and was admitted to hospital last night. Now he’s been moved to Intensive Care. Nobody in ou r

family thinks much of him apart from us but everyone was shocked and concerned.

Tuesday 7th

Beautiful sunshine and temps tickling 18C degrees today, and set to last over Easter weekend we’re told.

Not that we’ll be going very far.

We’re watching the news more than usual and then finding it hard to get the awful images of people in

Intensive Care and the heart breaking stories of loss out of our minds before bed. So important that these

personal stories are being reported though. Apart from Terrence we don’t know anyone who’s contracted

the virus. Sometimes feels like we’re in a bit of a bubble.

Wednesday 8th

Becky is three today! We bought her a slide for the garden, small enough for her and Connor. Thanks to

the great weather they should have lots of use out of it. Sad not to see her. When we do talk over

WhatsApp I look into her little face and wonder whether she’s thinking: Why do I only see Nonna and

Grandpa on a screen these days?

There’s plenty to do at home and I’m enjoying daily walks around the village and beyond occasionally. It’s

particularly nice to ‘bump into’ friends and chat, albeit at a distance. Not that we talk about much else than

our mutual experiences.

Jade messaged later to say she was getting a nice tan queuing outside Asda. And that a guy in front of her

was wearing a full-on gas mask.

Thursday 9th

Another clap for the NHS. Standing on our drive, considering all the lives lost and the courage and

commitment of these everyday heroes makes it an emotional occasion every week. Can’t understand how

some in our close can stay indoors!

More dodgy family haircuts. Matthew has had his head shaved (he let Freddie do it!), and Daniel. Gary has

a buzz cut too and is growing a beard to boot. I’d pay big money to have someone cut mine properly!

Friday 10th

The cookies from last week are all gone but I’ve made the most delicious sponge cake, using half flour and

half ground almonds. Took it out of the oven, pierced the top several times with a skewer and poured a mix

of lemon juice and icing sugar over it. Best cake in a long time. It should last us at least three days!

Everyone I talk to seems to be spending more time baking either to stave off the boredom of lockdown or

just because we all want to treat ourselves a bit in these restricted times. Lots of photos of roast dinners

being shared on the Family WhatsApp. There’s a shortage of flour and yeast (Paul wants to bake more

bread) and things like All Bran and large boxes of cereal. But on the whole we’ve been able to buy what

we’ve needed.

Saturday 11th

Daniel came up with a brilliant idea for Eloise’s 40th – all of us separately videoing ourselves singing Take

That’s ‘Never Forget.’ He’ll then splice them to make one recording of all our best bits. So today after

breakfast Paul and I recorded our contribution. Not easy as it’s a long song and the tune wasn’t easy to

pick up but it was great fun and we managed it in one take! Presents are winging their way to England and

I’m pulling together a light-hearted quiz for next Saturday evening.

It’s been another scorcher, (to quote the tabloids). Wall to wall sunshine and temps in the mid twenties. I

have to say I woke with a spring in my step this morning, then made the mistake of glancing through the

headlines. Social distancing measures may need to remain in place ‘indefinitely’!! I nearly cried. After

almost a month I cannot bear to contemplate the prospect of not seeing my beautiful, growing, changing -

each-week grandchildren for months on end. I honestly believe it’s only the hope that this lockdown is going

to last for no more than twelve weeks that is keeping most of us resolute and on the whole, cheerful. I’m

trying to make the most of the extra time on my hands (and I can’t say that time is dragging; the days are

over before they’ve begun) – reading, writing, more time with God – but how can any of those fill the ache

inside to hug my children, sit with Freddie, Jessie and Ruby eating Weetabix and porridge in our kitchen,

cup my hand around Owain’s soft head, gently wake Becky from a sleepover, stamp in puddles with Richie

and Beau or push Connor on the swing at the park?

Helene says her two are extra clingy and unsettled, obviously feeling unsure about how different life is

currently. Becky misses seeing her little pal, keeps saying she wants to go the park, or swimming or to soft

play. How can she understand when she’s only three? Later Sally commented on the family WhatsApp

group that she’ll never again take for granted ‘popping in’ to see her Mum and Dad. I guess that goes for all

of us!

We ended the day well though, with what must be the first barbecue we’ve ever had in April. Can’t believe

it! Last year’s beefburgers and some salmon for me. Of course the sun set by 7.30pm but it was a treat to

eat out of doors.

Sunday 12th

I haven’t been able to stop crying today. I’m not even sure why but the joy of Easter Day when we celebrate

Christ’s victory over the grave hasn’t made me feel like whooping and dancing. There have been some high

points, but lows too. Being just the two of us on a day when the house would usually be packed and noisy

with laughter; the sad recognition of the 1600 or so who have died from Covid in the past twenty-four hours;

the sense of ‘how much longer?’

The PM left hospital today, thanking and naming the nurses and doctors who cared for him in Intensive

Care. Sounds like it was touch and go for a while. It’ll be good to have Boris back at the helm. Paul and I

keep reminding one another how much worse it would have been if the Tories hadn’t won the election and

the ‘other man’ was leading us through this crisis.

Monday 13th

Feeling so much better today. Wrote a birthday letter to Eloise and delivered a lamb dinner to dad. Saw

Daniel and Beau, and separately James and Jade who kindly brought us cake. I also edited three chapters

of Sun Rising and Zoomed for an hour with Dad, Lewis and Sabrina. Dad was really sweet talking about

Mum (which he doesn’t very often) and then asking Lewis to pray before we finished.

Tuesday 14th

Spent most of the morning working on the quiz for Eloise’s birthday with some hilarious reminders about

her teenage years! Followed that with a brief but tiring Pilates workout and then treated myself to finishing

the last couple of chapters of Joanna Trollope’s ‘Mum and Dad.’ Was it really only last month Camilla and I

went to her book signing? Seems another world away.

Wednesday 15th

Lovely walk over to Whitchurch this morning after a very late breakfast. We’re rising later - half-eight this

morning. Didn’t turn the light out till 12.40 last night.

We received bad news from Care Home this afternoon. One of the residents has tested positive for the

virus and been hospitalised. Poor Betty (an elderly friend) and all the other residents now have to self-

isolate for fourteen days, remaining in their rooms. Feel for the staff there too. They and their families must

be so worried. They’re in the frontline just like NHS staff. But according to news reports, with nothing like

the amount or safe type of PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) they need.

On a lighter note Paul has renewed his subscription with Laithwaites (online wine company). Two boxes of

Cab Sav arrived this afternoon while Jade and I were sitting miles apart on the front lawn. She even took a

pic and posted it on the family group. Needs must, says Paul. No prospect of stocking up in France this

year!

Thursday 16th April

Another late start. Must try and get to bed before midnight! It’s the lack of a proper routine that’s doing this.

The news this morning is that the lockdown will remain in place for another three weeks. But social

distancing in some form will have to be maintained until a vaccine is found. Even if we can’t be in one

another’s homes I hope we’ll be able to meet up out of doors before too long.

Friday 17th

Re-reading what I wrote yesterday I realise it’s not going to be so simple. The Telegraph this morning

talked about the Government’s so-called five red lines for easing lockdown measures, so it’s just crazy to

think everything will be business as usual in just a few months.

1. Protect the NHS from becoming overwhelmed

2. A consistent fall in death rates

3. Lower infection rates through SD

4. Testing – more of it, and better PPE

5. Prevent a second peak.

The Government is saying we’ve passed the peak that was predicted over Easter weekend. But after

attending a Clinical Board meeting yesterday Ryan (son-in-law works in Pharmacy) reckons they are being

told there may be another peak in May. And that lockdown will go on for another six to eight weeks with a

bigger peak expected in September. He may have a point. The newly-opened Nightingale hospitals in

London and Cardiff don’t have any patients yet. Why would they have been built if another spike in cases

wasn’t expected? Oh my gosh! So much info to take in and how much of it is accurate? Surely there’s no

way the economy can weather this until September. And what about all the people with cancer whose

treatment has been postponed? There’ll be as many dying from other diseases as from Covid at this rate.

Saturday 18th

Eloise’s 40th! Yay! (as she would say.) We all twenty of us got together over coffee on Zoom at eleven and

it worked well, Eloise opening her prezzies and cards and the crying with laughter over the Never Forget

video which in the end Bethan successfully put together. The quiz went well too. And she managed a glass

of prosecco and cake with English friends who, one at a time, wished her a Happy Birthday from the safe

distance of the garden wall. A whole day of not talking or thinking about the Coronavirus! Well not much

anyway.

Sunday 19th

Gave the kitchen a VERY THOROUGH CLEAN after church this morning, including the tops of the

cupboards! Frying burgers for supper last night left the most awful smell. Everything looked sparkling by the

time I’d finished. This virus is making us all a bit more fastidious about the cleanliness of our homes. Even

me!

Monday 20th

Trying to find new places to walk every day. Not just around the village and Talbor Park. Some days it’s

nice to make it more than just ‘our daily exercise,’ stretch our legs a bit more. I’d like to go up to the woods,

but not on my own, it’s a bit too lonely up there. Or the Golf Course which has been opened up to the

general public. No need for social distancing there I shouldn’t think! Jade and James climbed the Waiter Hill

on Sunday (they can walk from Chew Well) and Bethan and Gary sent us a photo they took on their daily

walk of a heron, though they weren’t sure what it was! And Helene and Ryan have discovered a field with

horses just a couple of roads behind theirs. Needless to say the children keep wanting to go back.

Tuesday 21st

Boris is showing signs of re-emerging from his recovery at Chequers which has to be good news. Nearly

17,500 people have died from Covid -19 in hospital. A far cry from the figure of around 6,000 (I think that’s

right) which Imperial College scientists predicted at the outset. It also appears that ethnic minority people

and men and those who are obese are at greater risk. It feels as though this is all happening a long way

from us. Not having to shop, (the kids have insisted) we feel very safe. Our contribution is to help with

fortnightly food provisions for Rainbow of Hope (local charity), ensure Mum C and Dad are okay and make

the odd phone call to elderly friends who are self-isolating. Life is so easy for us right now. It’s hard not to

feel guilty.

But it’s definitely helping all of us that after months of rain we‘ve enjoyed almost unbroken sunshine for over

a month. Temps have been up and down but today hit 21C.

Wednesday 22nd

Talking about finding interesting places to see and walk, Sabrina and Mick (sister and brother-in-law) are

doing it themselves! They’ve just rebuilt their chicken run and taken delivery today of five hens today.

They’ve made good use of lockdown time, importing an unwanted greenhouse from next door and buying a

beehive, hoping to attract a local swarm searching for a new home. Sabrina’s always wanted to keep bees,

like our Grandad. Shame we’ll have to wait a while before we can visit.

Thursday 23rd

A really few useful hours in the garden today, cutting back daffodil leaves, forking the dry earth and

watering.

Later I emailed each of the England grandkids. Eloise says reading my messages and replying will suffice

for the literary content of today’s lessons. Glad to help out, I said.

I also contacted a guy at Swansea Uni – Dr Michael Ward who’s looking for volunteers to participate in a

Mass Observation-type project recording their daily responses to Covid-19. Be nice to be a part of history,

and all anonymised of course.

Friday 24th

Got up this morning with a bit more of a purpose. I had things to do outside the house for once. First I

delivered a bag of food to the church where Paul Timms (church friend) was waiting for Rainbow of Hope

contributions. Again it was a pleasure to have a conversation with someone which didn’t necessitate staring

at a grainy screen. Phoebe (friend) was there too with her boys dropping bags off. I walked down to the

Pharmacy after that to collect Dad’s prescription. Followed the arrows on the floor to the Perspex-screened

counter, grabbed the meds and with a thank you, flew out the door.

Saturday 25th

I’ve discovered the Lectio Divina 365 app – a lovely setting-my-heart-and-head-right meditation to start the

day. It’s only ten minutes but helps me to ‘pause and re-centre my scattered senses’ on the presence of

God. Just what I need in these troubling times.

Paul cut the grass on the roundabout this morning. Doing his bit for the community! Not sure why the

council aren’t coming round though. No social distancing required.

Sunday 26th

Another busy, sociable day for both of us. Not all of it on screen either I’m happy to say. I even wore

smarter clothes and put on some make-up! Church on Facebook live stream was great, with various people

taking part. We’ve seen a huge hike in numbers joining in – over 100 households today! After the service

Bill led Communion on Zoom. The only downside was encouraging everyone to sing together at the end.

Not an unqualified success!

We drove straight after to give Sally her birthday present and spent a super half hour chatting outside their

house and being amused by Richie and Beau driving around in their electric cars. It made such a difference

seeing them properly, their smiles, bits of chatter – stuff that gets lost on screen. Sally was having an

emotional day not spending time with her parents and sister. Only five weeks to go until her due date. Sad

to think we might not get to meet the new baby properly for a while.

After dropping shopping off to Mum C and Dad we were back for a screen session with Eloise and co.

She’d set the kids up with their own devices and it worked well. A jigsaw we’d ordered for Amazon arrived

for Freddie while we were chatting – lovely to see his reaction. Great timing! They seem to be in the swing

of home-schooling now and used to chatting with their friends on Zoom and WhatsApp. Even Ruby, only

five. Jessie has been meeting with her Brownie pack too.

Monday 27th

Boris is back! After nearly five weeks away from being at the forefront (including a week in hospital and two

weeks convalescence). We need his strong presence at the helm. Deaths from Covid-19 now number

20,000 plus.

Tuesday 28th

There will be no immediate lifting of the lockdown the PM announced today. It would undo all the hard work

the people of Britain have put in, he said; all the sacrifices that have been made so far. Having said that the

papers are all saying that this is a critical time and if the government doesn’t come up with a revised plan

soon (to tackle the economy, the increasing numbers flouting the rules) they’ll lose their grip on lockdown.

Every morning I open my eyes and think when will we see our grandchildren again? I mean properly see

them. So they can run up for a hug, sit on my lap for a story, build a Lego spaceship with Grandpa. I was

thinking back to what it must have been like in WW2, for families and men (and women) not seeing their

loved ones for long stretches. I remember Mum telling me that Uncle Peter was in the Far East for a couple

of years. Everyone is saying this is the toughest challenge the country has been through since the war. But

it’s meaningless for most of us who have no idea what that was like.

Wednesday 29th

Eloise has been complaining about their next-door neighbours across the drive. Breaking the lockdown

restrictions apparently, having family there for Easter Sunday, and now a hot tub party in the garden... and

smoking wacky-backy! They’re not posing a risk to anyone but I can understand Eloise feeling so cross.

Helene says the same sort of thing is happening in their road. Families getting together with their children

and justifying it as necessary for their sanity. Is there are argument for dobbing-in (I think that’s the

parlance!) people who are clearly flouting the restrictions when the rest of us are sticking to them? Probably

not when they are your next door neighbours and you have to get along after Covid-19 is past.

Thursday 30th

Spent a delightful hour talking to Jessie over WhatsApp about a Julia Donaldson poem she’s been reading.

Sabrina (school teacher/sister) suggested some questions I could ask Jess and that lead on to other poems

including the Please Mrs Butler anthology we gave Jessie’s Mum when she was in Primary school!

Coupled with the emails, photos and power point presentations we’ve received us it feels like we’re

achieving a greater sense of connection with the three children during this time when we can’t visit them.

Finished my edits and sent off my revised MS this afternoon. Grateful for the extra time I’ve had to work on

this. I’m not going to look at it again until I’ve heard from my Industry Editor. Instead I may dust off my early

draft of the Keeping Secrets sequel and get to work on that. Not surprisingly the publishing industry has

been badly affected. Sales are down by 80% apparently. So who knows when anyone will get a book

contract even if they like your story enough to publish it?

May 2020

Friday 1st

No indication that lockdown will be significantly lifted any time soon. And while going out for a meal or to the

cinema would make a nice change (and give me an excuse to get dressed up!) my number one priority is to

see and spend time with my children and beautiful grandchildren.

Saturday 2nd

Lockdown lunacy! The whole family (well almost) playing Absolute Balderdash on Zoom this evening.

Matthew (son-in-law) won (of course he did!) but Paul and I came in a strong second. Happy with that!

Sunday 3rd

Why are Sundays so often not a good day for me? I unaccountably let myself get unsettled about

something silly at the end of the Facebook service this morning. As a result I felt grumpy and out of sorts

with my church family. Couldn’t let it go until I was on my own then ended up in floods. Had to pray it out

with God before I had any peace. I need to be less sensitive. Don’t think I can use the Coronavirus as an

excuse.

Monday 4th

A full day today with lots of cooking. Meals for Dad and Mum C, something I haven’t done for a while.

Prawn and Cod au Gratin is popular with both of them. Bethan and Helene have both been so kind,

providing them with Sunday roast dinners for the past two weeks.

Later I hosted a Zoom session for the SCBWI group. I was nervous that being so non-techy, I’d mess it up,

but it all worked well. There were thirteen of us in the end talking about how/what we’re managing to write

during lockdown. Quite a few have struggled to continue with their current WIPs, so the suggestions about

trying to write short stories being one were helpful. I can’t say it’s been a problem for me, but in fairness I’m

editing rather than writing from scratch.

Tuesday 5th

Today I’m one-third of the way through Bible in One Year. God is definitely using this and Lection 365 (a

Bible reading plan) to encourage me to pray more, and differently, listening to God, not just talking to him

non-stop! I read somewhere recently that during the month of March the number of people typing the wo rd

‘prayer’ into Google skyrocketed, the highest level for the past five years apparently.

Another quiz this evening. Innovista (a charity we support, working in Central Asia) is struggling with

fundraising. Not surprising I suppose. Financial giving is bound to fall with people’s working hours being cut

or their jobs furloughed. I can’t imagine they raised a huge amount tonight but it was good fun. Next time

though we need to mug up on the geography questions. We scored badly on that round. Anatoly (a mission

leader in Ukraine) appeared after the first round to answer questions about how their region is coping with

Coronavirus. A stark reminder that the former Russian republics have only limited resources and hospital

beds to fight this deadly disease. It’s the same in Africa. Zoe’s (friend) brother and sister-in-law are doctors

in Africa. The medical and nursing teams even went on strike there for a while protesting at the dire lack of

PPE.

We watched the news after the quiz. The UK death toll has now passed that of Italy (over 29,000), making

it the highest in Europe. Only the USA figure is higher. It’s hard to take in. And numbers will only continue

to rise, especially in Care Homes. That reminds me – along with the rest of the nation Betty (elderly friend)

and the other residents at (thankfully free of the virus pro tem) are celebrating the 75th anniversary of VE

Day on Friday. It’s a bank holiday. We’re hoping staff there will have found the photos of Betty in her RAF

uniform (she was a Wireless Operator) to display along with everyone else’s. I wonder too whether she will

still remember us when all this is over and we can visit her again.

Wednesday 6th

On Sunday there’s going to be an announcement by the PM about easing lockdown restrictions. It seems

an odd day to do it, Sunday. Those in the know say it’s because Friday (the usual day for a review) is a

bank holiday. If they know what they’re going to say why the heck don’t they just get on with it!

Paul suggested a walk over the woods (local beauty spot) this morning. A perfect day for it. Birdsong, the

scent of wild garlic, sun slanting through the trees. The bluebells were disappointing though. Not the

stunning vibrant blue carpet I was expecting.

Thursday 7th

Scrolling through Facebook today and the posts by young mums struggling with home-schooling little ones.

I really feel for them. I’d have been tearing my hair out by now, trying to ‘teach’ our kids and stay sane!

Judging by the comments it appears most of them (the mums) are learning (the hard way) to settle for less

– fewer ‘lessons’ and more fun activities which children learn through anyway – jigsaws, Lego, play dough,

fractions with mini-eggs! Eloise looked so tired when we chatted briefly after the Innovista quiz. Even when

the kids are in bed she can’t switch off completely because there are tomorrow’s activities to plan. It’s

bound to take its toll. This new ‘normal’ will never be that. Nor should it be, whatever lessons we learn. Just

off to Daniel’s now to collect our food order.

Friday 8th

The anniversary of VE Day. Sadly for all the war veterans it has to be remembered and celebrated not with

parades, concerts, church services and street parties but quietly, with interviews on screen, the Queen

delivering a thoughtful message from Windsor Castle and an evening of old newsreel and reminiscences by

celebrities like Michael Parkinson and Jilly Cooper, both old enough to remember the day firsthand. We

heard a fly-past going overhead around 10 this morning but didn’t realise what it was. Then at 11am we

joined in the two minutes silence across the nation. Even the man rebuilding the fire-damaged bungalow

across the stream downed tools for a few minutes.

Helene texted to say they were having a street party and my first thought was, I hope they keep their

distance. I didn’t think we’d be having one here but when Paul left for the allotment just after two o’clock a

few of the young families were sitting on blankets on the strip of green. Mike and Julie (neighbours our age)

were there too, sipping prosecco and decked out in 1940’s finery. Any excuse to dress up, those two! Julie

had baked cupcakes and cut sandwiches into crust less triangles – all very festive. I joined them for an hour

or so along with Denise and Mark (neighbours) and a few other ‘oldies’. An unexpected upside of the virus,

bringing neighbours who often aren’t even sure of one another’s names, together for an afternoon. There’s

even talk of a barbecue in the summer.

Earlier, drinking coffee in the garden, basking in the 20+ temperatures, I listened to a programme on Radio

4 - Life on Lockdown. A variety of people sharing their experiences. Made me realise afresh how hard it is

for those living alone who are desperate for company. As someone has recently observed (on FB I think),

we may all be going through the storm together but we’re not all in the same boat.

Saturday 9th

Listening to an interview with the Christian writer Philip Yancey it struck me how much we should be

looking to learn from this time of restriction (which ironically has given some of us the freedom to do what

we often don’t find time for). To reflect on what’s come out of it and what needs to change. Paul and I were

gazing at the print of Venice on our bedroom wall this morning before we got up. I thought to myself, we’ll

probably never go back there. My husband on the other hand said he’d like to. And I thought, but we’d only

be adding to the pollution, we and all the others returning for holidays there. Apparently with fewer visitors

in Venice, the Grand Canal is much cleaner and clearer; fish can be seen once again.

Coronavirus has been good for our ecology in general. Good for the planet. In big cities residents have

noted seeing the stars shining more brightly in the night sky. If we simply settle back into our old habits,

treating the world as our playground, we will have learned nothing and it’s the generations to come who will

pay the price. Our children. Their children. Ordinary men and women need to press for change so that

something productive can come out of all the sickness and loss of life, the extraordinary sacrificial efforts of

health care and other key workers. Pay hikes for nurses and care workers, reducing air travel and car

usage, slowing the pace of life, taking time to connect meaningfully with one another. It’s a bit corny I know

but it occurred to me the other day that 2020 is the way perfect eyesight is described. Maybe this is the

year we are meant to see things differently - people, our world, opportunities in front of us.

Rant over!

Sunday 10th

Boris’ Stay Alert message this evening has provoked some lively discussion on the WhatsApp family group.

For one thing what does it actually mean? The general conclusion was that it’s far more ambiguous than

Stay at Home. Ryan (Pharmacy son-in-law) is convinced people will return to their normal ways of life and a

spike in Covid-19 cases will be the result. The First Ministers of Wales and Scotland are showing far

greater caution in their messages (no doubt scoring a few political points on the way!) So there is very little

change for either Scotland or us. Surely our four nations should be standing together at this time of crisis

for the UK, not adding to the confusion with mixed messages?! Boris is supposed to be the PM for the

whole UK. But he’s not! As far as the Coronavirus crisis is concerned his responsibility extends only as far

as the English borders. And as the easing of the lockdown progresses over the coming weeks and the

messages differ by degree, it’s only to lead to more confusion for the British public.

On a lighter note I’m loving re-reading Nella Last’s World War Two diaries. I don’t think I appreciated what a

fine writer she was when I first read them ten or so years ago. Two years younger than my Grandma

Gwyneth and interestingly died at the same age – 79. Even the historian Max Hastings referred to her on

the World at One last week as one of the greatest diarists of the twentieth century.

Monday 11th

I finished typing up my diary entries for April today and emailed them to Mike Ward. So I’m almost up to

date. It’s making me think much more about what and how I write, how I feel about the changes so far as

we begin the slow descent of the mountain (to use the PM’s analogy) – often the more difficult journey than

the one up.

We watched the six o’clock news tonight. There was a lot of discussion about the confusion people feel

now that England is signalling (albeit cautiously) a more significant easing up of the restrictions. People

encouraged to return to work if they can’t do so at home, people from different households able to meet up

in outside spaces,(though only one on one), estate agents free to start up again. No indication as to when

families can meet up though, just talk of July as a possible time when we can get our hair cut and go to the

cinema. Never mind that! Having a socially distanced picnic in the park with our children and grandchildren

would be enough for me!

Tuesday 12th

Back to online sessions tonight (a writing course), with the course leader meant to be answering our

questions on ‘setting and world building.’ But her Wi-Fi connection was very poor so we had to call it a day

after twenty minutes. Earlier I called around to see Monica on her birthday and found a huddle of friends

(socially-distanced of course) sitting in deck chairs around their front door!

Wednesday 13th

Playing lots of Words with Friends on my phone – my guilty pleasure! Getting better scores these days too

I’m glad to say.

A postcard arrived this morning from the Elders. Everyone at SBC (Squash Baptist Church) has received

one judging by the delighted thanks and comments on the Church WhatsApp group.

Spent a good hour or so later writing to our MP asking her to vote against the proposed liberalising of the

abortion laws in Northern Ireland which if passed will make it much more likely for the same to happen

here. The new law would allow for sex-selective abortion (how could she possibly vote for that when a

traditional preference for sons will inevitably discriminate against females?!) as well as allowing termination

up to birth where the baby has identified abnormalities like Down’s Syndrome. It’s a scandal.

Thursday 14th

Bethan came to see us yesterday and we sat on the front lawn with Owain happily munching away on

healthy snacks in his pushchair. So lovely to see him! It’s been seven weeks. Jade arrived too, to collect

some printing we’d done for her for a school management meeting. It felt a bit naughty, the three of us

chatting but we made sure to keep well apart.

Before that I had a super forty minutes with Freddie on Zoom, discussing the story he’s started writing

(essentially a pastiche of Harry Potter!) which I’d read in advance. I commended him on the exciting

beginning and his excellent use of verbs and adjectives, then talked to him about the ways he could keep

up the excitement and how to make his characters come alive on the page. Two stars and a wish Sabrina

(teacher sister) called it.

Earlier Paul and I enjoyed a criss-crossing walk on the golf course again. So beautifully landscaped, like a

country park. Just wished we’d heard earlier that it was available to the public for daily exercise as soon as

lockdown began. Thanks to the app Paul downloaded, this time we were able to ‘name those trees!’

Friday 15th

My mood dipped again last night. Perhaps it was the subdued atmosphere on our Church Community

meeting last night. More likely the article I’d read earlier signalling the possibility of an even deadlier

recurrence of Covid-19 this winter coinciding with seasonal flu and a serious measles outbreak (because of

the low rate of vaccinations among babies) Whatever the reason, it made me feel a bit panicky that our

grandchildren are growing up and we may not get the chance to be properly involved in their lives as we

have been up till now.

Good thing we’d already arranged with Helene to call up there today and chat through the open window

from their front lawn. Bless her, when we arrived she’d put out two garden chairs and a tray of coffee.

Becky was waiting for us, standing on the sofa peering through the window. I nearly knocked Paul out

waving, as he parked the car! It lifted my sprits so much seeing their little faces. Becky was on good form

too, chatting away as she does with her expressive little face, telling us about sleeping all night in her own

bed (for once!) And how she doesn’t wear nappies any more. She’s grown too, looked taller dancing

around their living room. It made me happy but sad at the same time for the bits we’ve missed out on.

We popped in to Bethan’s on the way home to return dinner plates from the Sunday roast she’d cooked us

and had such a welcome from bearded Gary. Owain was in his arms, full of smiles as he always is. We

talked about the frequent video clips they send us. He’s such a ‘clever little bean’ as Bethan calls him,

loving books and knowing when it’s time to pick up his Panda for bed.

This afternoon I Zoomed with Ruby. Another ’literacy’ session, this time about 'Sully the Seahorse,' the

book we’d sent her through Amazon. She was chattier and more confident than I’d expected and very

competently kept turning the book around for me to see the pictures as she related the story. Time to send

off for a few more books and jigsaws methinks!

Earlier Susan (friend in Scotland) and I hooked up on WhatsApp for a catch up. (What a busy day it’s

been!) Poor girl has been suffering from a gastric ulcer brought on she thinks by the strain of the past eight

weeks, even though she wasn’t aware of actually feeling stressed. It made me ponder later on how many

and varied are the responses we’re all experiencing. Various writer forums are flooded with people

reporting being unable to get into the flow of writing, which I have to say hasn’t been a problem for me.

Others report not sleeping at all well or being permanently fearful and anxious about the future. Do we all

get a reaction of some kind? Even if we’re not aware of it? How much does faith help in these times? I’d

like to hear some honest responses from church folk. I suspect there’s still a reluctance to admit weakness

and fear, a sense of ‘I’m a Christian. This shouldn’t be happening to me.’

Thankfully Friday nights still feel like a time to relax. A largish glass of very chilled Sauvie B, and tonight

bowls of pakoras and samosas before our curry.

Saturday 16th

Eloise is clearly feeling conflicted (both as a Mum and a School Governor) about whether the children (only

Year One Ruby in her case) should be returning to school on 1st June. Only two weeks away! The BMA

have come out today declaring infection rates as too high for schools to return yet, but no one in

government seems to be paying any heed.

The so-called ‘R’ number has crept up to between 0.7 and 1.0 since the lockdown was relaxed last Sunday.

Apparently it needs to be below that for the government to consider further easing. Sabrina thinks school

returning is a crazy idea too, that it will be hardest on teachers having to make on-the-hoof decisions about

children’s and their own safety, because these won’t have been considered at City Hall level beforehand.

I’m sure she’s right. Teaching unions are vehemently opposed to any return yet, but they are also probably

using this as a stick to beat Boris with. Children can’t stay home indefinitely, and we’re being told by the

scientists that the risk among younger people generally is very low in terms of either catching Covid-19 or

passing it on.

Heard from my new Industry Editor (re the book I’m writing) yesterday. We’re going to kick things off with a

Skype session next week. As time goes on I have to say I feel less and less positive about the possibility of

getting my book published. And with everything else going on somehow it seems less important. The

publishing sector is in a frightful mess apparently so who knows how long any of us on the course might

have to wait even to be considered.

Sunday 17th

Our final golf club walk after the morning service. We will miss stretching our legs over the grassy highs

and lows of this beautiful stretch of land. I well remember when we moved to here sixty years ago, being

able to see golfers striking balls from our front room window. The views were one of the reasons Mum and

Dad chose to move there. It’s been a unique couple of weeks. Barring another pandemic we’re unlikely to

get the opportunity again.

We had fun with the fam playing Linkee on Zoom last night. Matthew came close to winning (no surprises

there) but Gary and Bethan triumphed in the end. In between rounds it was exciting to hear Gary talk about

a course he’s planning to do exploring the gift of evangelism. I noticed the sign in their window on Friday:

He is for you #Christ

An amazing recording of a song written by Christians in the States and recorded over here by

representatives of sixty-five churches was circulated via social media last week. Basically it’s a sung

blessing over our nation and it reached one million views within forty-eight hours of being released. I can’t

listen to it without weeping, the words are so powerful. I especially love the line praying God’s blessing over

‘Your family and your children, and their children, and their children.’ It was even mentioned on the BBC

news last night along with an interview with Justin Welby. He was talking about the links between

Coronavirus and mental health and how much we need community and common good and God to help us

through these tough times.

Monday 18th

On Saturday Dad told me he was feeling ‘depressed’ when I asked him how he was coping having been

shut in for eight weeks. It’s such a non-word for Dad. Mum used to describe herself like that from time to

time but Dad’s moods rarely fluctuate. When I mentioned it to the kids at our Saturday night Zoom, Eloise

said ‘There’s no reason he couldn’t go out for a walk is there?’ So I put it to Sabrina and this afternoon the

three of us strolled down my Dad’s road and the lower half of the estate for fifteen minutes. Dad even used

Mum’s posh walking stick. I linked my arm through his but there was no need; he walked in a very upright

way as he always does. Sara thought he’d lost his spark but he seemed quite bright to me and thanked us

both a few times before we left him. I suggested he might drive down to the local park. The path there is flat

and goes all the way around and there are benches to rest on if he feels tired.

Tuesday 19th

I joined in the Pilates Zoom session yesterday. I never enjoy it at the time but know it’s doing me good, and

my muscles certainly ache for days after!

I’ve also sent off for 130 photo prints from Snapfish, with the intention of compiling a Corona Scrapbook.

The cards we’ve received from the children can go in too, and cuttings (not actual cuttings but things that

have made us laugh from Facebook) – anything really that will tell the story of life in 2020 to our grandkids

and their children. Someone may chuck it out before then of course!

We met Daniel with the boys in the park this morning for an hour. We walked while they scooted up the

Chew Trail alongside the river. Their little faces when they spotted us! Daniel had kept it a surprise. It’s not

strictly within the rules I know but we kept well apart and the risk of infection in the open air is almost non-

existent according to the scientists. I refuse to feel guilty about it, though Eloise did comment later that we

have relaxed our personal rules, that we wouldn’t have arranged to meet like that a few weeks ago. Paul

thinks the First Minister will announce a relaxation at the next review date – the Bank Holiday weekend –

allowing people from different households to meet, especially since Northern Ireland eased that particular

restriction on Monday.

Wednesday 20th

Our WoYN (Work on Your Novel) critiquing group is picking up again after a Corona-blip when no one

showed much enthusiasm for giving or receiving feedback. It will be interesting to read the follow-ons from

the extracts we all reviewed in February though of course it will all have to be by email this time. Having

given myself a three week break from writing (apart from this diary) I’m looking forward to getting going

again, not so much on ‘Sun Rising’ but switching my focus to my ‘Keeping Secrets’ sequel which is in a

very rough first draft at present.

Paul’s making another loaf of bread as I write, doing all the kneading himself now that the food processor is

on the blink. We need to look at buying a new one.

Later we walked up to the Stevensons (church friends) to collect two face masks. Willow has been sewing

them herself as a community project and judging by the quality done a fine job. Opinion remains divided as

to their effectiveness but as time goes on and we return to going into shops, public transport and other

enclosed spaces it will be useful to have the option of wearing one.

Hottest day of the year so far. 25 degrees. Tidied the garden and pulled up all the bluebell leaves. The pale

pink roses have just started blooming and there are the marigolds Paul potted up, but it could do with a bit

more colour. Bedding plants is what we need.

Eloise told us that while she fully supports Northbourne reopening at the start of June, Ruby (in Year One)

won’t be going back yet. I think Eloise’s still concerned about shielding Matthew (with his asthma) from any

risk and I can understand that no matter what the stats say. This generation of parents seem to be more

anxious about their children. More inclined to be vocal about it too. And with the opportunity, thanks to

social media. If the government sixty years ago had told our parents school was restarting, people by and

large would have accepted it. As Paul keeps saying, living with risk is a fact of life. You can reduce it but

you can’t eliminate it.

Thursday 21st

Another day of heat. I should be in the garden, potting the bedding plants we bought at the store this

morning. No pansies sadly – I love their smiley faces! But we did get a climbing rose for the back fence. It’ll

make a pretty picture, this one a cyclamen shade, intertwining with the dawn pink climber we’ve ordered on

Amazon. Instead of being outside I’m waiting for Ruby to come on Zoom and talk about the ‘Please Mrs

Butler’ poems she’s been enjoying.

And then I was! In the garden, that is. My granddaughter decided she didn’t want to ‘literacy time’ with

Nonna after all, so all the plants are snuggling into their earthy new home now. Then Bethan called with

Owain and like last week we sat apart on the front lawn with the baby in his pram. Hopefully Mr Drakeford

will make these unofficial encounters with our family ‘legal’ next Thursday when the lockdown is reviewed

again.

My husband is champing at the bit to get back to shopping, as in doing it himself at Morrisons. We even

had ‘words’ about it. I think we should stick to the online option for now even though it’s frustrating when

they substitute so many items. Surely we can get by on what we’ve got here instead of popping into the Co-

op for odds and ends. For one thing it helps us appreciate that this is how other people, many far worse off

than we are, have to cope. Paul got cross, accused me of being ‘virtuous.’ It could have soured the evening

but it didn’t. I made fajitas for supper for a change and we both thought they were delicious. We ate early

as we generally do on a Thursday, and Life Group (after the Clap) turned out much better than either o f us

expected. There was a lot to share and poor Juliette wasn’t herself as Armin had been to visit one of the

Arabic church families, going inside when invited. You could see from her face how upset she still was. So

we prayed for her and the family, for peace at home and protection from the virus.

Friday 22nd

The day we should have travelled to Center Parcs...and filled our chalets with all the noise and mess that

twenty people make when they’re away for a long weekend! We were all looking forward to whizzing

through the trees on our bikes, splashing around on the water slides, skidaddling down the Rapids, stuffing

ourselves in Hucks, sipping English garden cocktails, owl watching and a million and one other CP delights.

Oh yes, and battling up the boardwalk by bike. How could I forget that?! Never mind. Once the office is

open again we’ll get booked up for 2021 and it’ll come round before we know it.

Saturday 23rd

I couldn’t go to the Hay Festival this year so I did the next best thing – registered for Jon Sopel’s ‘A Year at

the Circus’ talk on Hay Wi-Fi. Very entertaining as one would expect. JS thinks Donald Trump’s campaign

for re-election may well be scuppered by Covid-19. The US is in a terrible mess with nigh on 100K deaths

and political wrangling between different states about how and when to end the lockdown.

It’s been a chilly day for May with winds of 40+ mph and sharp bursts of rain when you least expect it. Ryan

is working eight days on the trot, getting gowned up to do the medicines for Covid-19 patients this

weekend. We called to see Helene and the kids, then over to Daniel and Sally’s. Just waiting for baby to

arrive now. Fortunately Daniel’s union has secured very favourable terms for expectant fathers. So he’s

working locally and still on full pay. He’s only been called in once all week.

Sabrina called later and when we were talking about Dad’s walk earlier in the week, added something very

insightful. She puts his posture and absence of any ‘shuffle’ down to his years of playing the organ at the

synagogue. Sitting erect on a stool with his feet dancing over the pedals has given him good core strength.

She’s right I’m sure, but I’d never thought of it.

Sunday 24th

I’ve been having such vivid dreams lately, usually involving conflict or trouble of some kind. It takes me a

while (ten or fifteen minutes) when I wake up, to shake off the feeling of something being not quite right.

Last night I was with Jade and there was talk of evacuation. (It felt like just before I woke but it probably

wasn’t) It was all going to be very hurried and I didn’t know what to do. All I could think of was that I didn’t

want to go away because it would mean not being able to see the grandchildren. As usual it was a relief to

wake up. Maybe they’re brought on by still reading Nella Last’s war diaries.

Later in the day, a cartoon of two people hugging - posted by Eloise on Facebook - with the caption ‘One

day...’ made me realise how it must have been like this in the war. Not being able to hug your loved ones

away fighting. We’re in the same sad position because of a deadly virus. Then this line from Nella Last’s

book touched me: ‘Lately I have wakened with outstretched hands to clasp and hold something that I feel

must be held.’ And I thought, yes, some mornings that’s true for me.

Completely unrelated she wrote later about the Education Act passed in 1944, giving children up to the age

of fifteen the opportunity of secondary education. It struck me so forcibly - 1944 was only twenty years

before I started at the Grammar school (as it was then). It never crossed my mind to think ‘How lucky am I.’

Imagine having to leave school before fifteen, especially if you were bright and loved learning.

We gave church a miss today, walked the Chew Trail, starting at the woodland path at Chew Well. After the

high winds of yesterday it was breezy but the sun skittered between the clouds and it was a pleasant

temperature for walking. We tracked down some railway sidings Paul was keen to see from WW2 (used by

US troops). I felt a bit fed up on the way back because it was pretty much all we talked about. He’d be

better off going with Graham Milton (a train enthusiast friend) or another man on walks like that. I’d certainly

have relished a long natter with my sister or Hayley (close friend). I could feel my mood dipping again so

after a nice bread and pate lunch I got the padded chair out of the shed and sat in the small square of

sunshine the trees allow at this time of year. I got my Bible out and gave myself a good talking to! Sundays

shouldn’t be like this, I know that. And I did feel better afterwards.

It’s a glorious evening now, the sun dappling the patio, and my pots, filled with pink daisies and Bizzy

Lizzies and tiny mauve petunias have cheered me up too. I do love my garden in bloom.

Monday 25th

Bank holidays at the end of May aren’t always like this one. I could tell as soon as I opened the curtains

that it was a day for enjoying the outdoors – golden sun, streaks of cloud as though someone had swept

the sky, and just the whisper of a breeze.

We drove up to my sisters this afternoon to see the new chicken house, meet Evergreen (the hen in

charge!) and admire what Sabrina and Mick (sister and brother-in-law) have achieved with their rambling

terraced garden. A greenhouse moved in from next door in a very sorry state and now housing a dozen or

more tomato plants, and a bee hive, awaiting the arrival (Sabrina hopes) of new tenants! She has plans for

rockeries, a bog garden, more steps and dahlias (Aunty Jan would approve.) My sister, ladies and

gentlemen, whose creativity, imagination and resourcefulness knows no bounds!

The weekend’s news has been dominated by the tale of the PM’s Chief Advisor and his 500 mile round -trip

during lockdown to his parents’ home in County Durham. His excuses (no apology) aren’t worth repeating.

All I can say is that Boris has spectacularly misjudged the mood of the nation on this one.

Tuesday 26th

Lots of little video clips on WhatsApp today of the grandkids enjoying bank holiday Monday. Not that it’s

much different from any other day this year. In England they continue to take long treks and bike rides

through the countryside, learning the names of trees and plants thanks to a nifty little app called Picture

This. In the sixties we had to make do with the Observer books!

Closer to home Richie and Beau are Batman and Buzz Lightyear respectively! There seem to be a lot of

new toys/outfits appearing in these clips, some of which we’ve sent courtesy of Amazon prime. If it’s the

only thing we can do to support the kids through the hours of child-entertaining and homeschooling it’s

worth every penny.

Wednesday 27th

Thankfully the sun continues to shine and the long term forecast is for more of the same. Lots of watering

required but Paul is thankful for the dry weather and the time to finish digging over the weeds in his

allotment. He came home with the first (small) crop of strawberries today. So yummy! There will be

cucumbers and lettuce in a day or so, and he’s already picked some asparagus and served it wrapped up

in prosciutto. A very tasty starter for last night’s supper. Working down there has been a lifeline for him

these past two months. No problems with social distancing and let’s face it, there are only so many hours

he can spend on his jigsaws!

Sally’s baby due tomorrow but no sign of anything happening yet...

Thursday 28th

...Nope! She’s still around, in fact she came with Daniel and the boys to meet us at the park for a stroll (or a

scoot in Richie and Beau’s case) through the ancient woodland. People are still very conscious of the need

to keep at a distance and the boys seem to get it too. I hope they won’t have any trouble readjusting when

we can go back to normal (i.e. hugging and kissing Nonna and Grandpa). It could be a long time.

Just finished reading ‘Nella Last’s War.’ I can see why her accounts of day to day life stand out. Not only

was she an accomplished writer, she seemed to understand what kind of reflections/entries would make

riveting reading seventy, eighty years later. She was so forward looking, recognising that for many women

employed in the services or as in her case, serving in WRVS canteens and shops, returning to the

humdrum of daily domestic life after the war would never be enough.

The world has moved on so much since 1945 it’s hardly appropriate to draw comparisons with the world

we’re living in now. But I do wonder what changes we might see, nationally, locally and in our own ways of

living. Do we really want everything to return to the way we were? Damaging the planet with our careless

use of plastics, polluting the skies and rivers, rushing our children off to endless midweek clubs and music

lessons?

Last clap for the NHS and key workers this evening. A pleasant mingling of neighbours, murmurings of how

much we’ve all (well almost all!) appreciated these ten minutes or so of chat every week. By my reckoning

only two households out of sixteen have failed to put in an appearance. That’s pretty good. Someone

mentioned the barbecue idea again tonight. July maybe?

Friday 29th

Out walking I bumped into Melanie (church friend) letting her dogs splash around in the stream. I

complimented her on her hair. Shorn but not too-close cropped. She’d bought ladies clippers and done it

herself, she said. I asked after her daughter who works in China and had come to stay in January. Turns

out she was planning to be here a week and had to stay for six because of the lockdown over there. After

Mel’s divorce from the girl’s dad, it was a much-needed healing time for the both of them by the sound of it.

A sweet story of how the Coronavirus has worked for good! And, I thought, how wonderful of God to give

them such special time together.

Saturday 30th

After Mark Drakeford’s (First Minister) statement yesterday that people from two households could meet

outside on a ‘socially distanced’ basis, we joined Helene and Ryan for a walk through the country lanes to a

little village less than a mile from their home. The roads were quiet apart although we had to make way for

a large tractor and there were new foals in the field for the children to exclaim at. The first normal thing

we’ve done with the family since this all started.

Sunday 31st

A full day – 11 a.m. till 5.30pm - on Zoom for our workshop. Setting and Research were the topics. Our

course leader always makes these days enjoyable with her highly interactive style and insightful

observations and the guest slot was filled by an exciting new children’s writer, Damaris Young whose debut

novel ‘The Switching Hour’ I am currently reading. She’s probably in her late twenties and I had to smile

when she talked about ‘making writing your career.’ Choices, choices! What might have been eh?

We’re into Week Eleven now. Covid-19 deaths continue to climb though at a far slower rate. Almost 40,000

official deaths recorded in the UK, though that’s probably the tip of the iceberg when you think of all the

care home deaths that aren’t included in the stats. There appears to be little hope of a vaccination on the

horizon and unless the virus dies out naturally it’s hard to see life returning to normal (whatever that means

now) anytime soon. It’s the children I feel most sorry for. These formative years for them, mixing in small

(and larger) friendship groups, playing games and learning interactively – it’s all part of growing up. What

will a September 2020 classroom look like for Freddie, Jessie and Ruby and their pals? Social distancing at

playtime? Breaks my heart.

June 2020

Monday 1st

A new month and a starting-back-to-school-week in England anyway. There is some talk in Wales of high

schools returning for a few weeks at the end of June but Jade (teacher daughter) hasn’t heard anything.

We’re now into week eleven. Covid 19 deaths continue to climb though at a far slower rate. Nearly 40,000

people are reported to have died though that may be the tip of the iceberg. There appears to be little hope

of a vaccine for some time and unless the virus dies out naturally it’s hard to see when things will return to

life as we knew it. It’s the children I feel for. Missing out on school life, playing in small groups, learning

interactively, parties – it's all part of their growing up. What will a September 2020 classroom and break-

time look like for Freddie, Jessie and Ruby and their pals? Social distancing at playtime as there has been

in French schools? Breaks my heart.

Tuesday 2nd

Just counted and realised I’ve read ten books in the last ten weeks. That has to be a record! Teen fiction

mostly of course but once this round of edits is completed I have a few adult fiction books lined up for the

summer.

Bethan called with Owain yesterday and now that we can officially get together outside with members of

another household we sat in our garden for the first time. We’ll have to wait another seventeen days for the

next review of lockdown in Wales. The First Minister is adopting a very cautious approach compared with

England. Most people I’ve talked to are happy with the pace he is setting for easing restrictions. The last

thing we want is to have to go back to where we were a couple of months ago.

I’ve just looked up the Wuhan Diaries written by a Chinese woman called Fang Fang. Rose (friend)

mentioned she’d read them when we Whatsappd last week. Unlike those of us recording our observations

and reflections, this brave woman had the national government and public opinion to contend with because

of the criticisms she levelled at China for alleged ‘social injustice, abuse of power and other problems which

impeded the response to the epidemic.’ Her work is considered traitorous by many and given the backdrop

of tense relations currently between China and the US (where the book has been published) that’s not

surprising. Reviews on Amazon only rate it 2.5. A mix of fact and fiction, some are saying. Who knows? But

it will doubtless be the first of many published diary accounts from around the world when this is all over.

I thought I should add a summary of how church life has been affected since we’ll probably continue to

follow these new models for some time, large gatherings being a no-no for the foreseeable. Sunday

meetings continue to be live-streamed on Facebook from Joan and Edward’s (church leaders) homes and

are followed each week by communion on Zoom and breakout rooms for groups of three or four to have

more ‘intimate’ chat. On Tuesdays and Thursdays various of the leaders have been doing twice-weekly

twenty minute devotionals, again on Facebook. I’ve never been up early enough (8.30 am) to catch it live,

but it’s drawn a faithful following of around a dozen with plenty more like me catching it later.128 views for

this morning’s.

Wednesday 3rd

And rewatching last Sunday’s meeting I noted it had almost 700 views. Wow! Just goes to show how much

more interest there is in spiritual things and how much anonymity helps. (We never get 700 when we meet

in actual church!) The Sunday afternoon sessions for kids are attracting good numbers too, with some of

our Pebbles (midweek children’s meeting) joining in, taking part in online activities and competitions. I do

hope we’ll be able to get them together, Pebbles that is, before summer term ends. We’re due to lose so

many seven year olds this year, as they move up. It would be sad not to say good-bye to them all,

especially those who have been coming since Pebbles started.

We joined in an Innovista (Christian charity we support) quiz again last night. A supporter engagement

exercise as much as anything our daughter reminded us. Bonus was that we got to chat to our girl

afterwards. One of those rambling conversations where she was reflecting on the new ‘normal’ and

expressing no hurry to return to the old. Lockdown has given them special time together as a family, time

she knows they are unlikely ever to repeat. (I hope we’re not speaking too soon!) The children have grown

into the changed way of life bit by bit. No longer desperate to Zoom with their pals/Brownies/Cubs. They’ve

invented games to play together Eloise says, helped more in the kitchen and with tidying, and spent

masses of time on their bikes and walking the beautiful countryside. Clearly the weather has been a bonus.

Matthew was in charge today while Eloise was working from home. He sent us a photo of the children

wearing face masks they had made – out of old socks!

Jade has heard she’s back to school on the 29th! And the summer holidays are being slimmed down by a

week. She’s found it frustrating trying to run virtual lessons especially as take up has been so low. She’s

concerned that the ones who haven’t been working online will also fail to return for the weeks before the

summer hols and just fall further behind. And since there won’t be any forced attendance, the gap will keep

widening.

Thursday 4th

We watched the Ten o’clock News last night and for the first time for months, Coronavirus was not the main

headline. Recriminations are making news though. ‘Unforgivable failures’ a Telegraph writer called it this

morning. And when they are catalogued – our nation’s lack of preparedness, the appalling PPE debacle

which has left huge numbers of NHS workers unprotected, the government’s refusal to work effectively with

the private sector, its failure to set up proper and timely testing and the wholesale neglect of care homes

which have suffered huge death rates – it’s hard to disagree. Presumably there will be a public enquiry into

the incompetence and blathering that has resulted in the UK topping the ‘leader board’ of deaths in Europe.

Whoever would have imagined it would come to this when we were told in March that herd immunity was

the way through?

Friday 5th

Today Gary (son-in-law) posted that he’d heard on the radio that every two in five people say they’ve been

having more vivid dreams since lockdown started. I haven’t been able to recall mine this week but Paul

dreamt I’d missed a bit at the back, cutting his hair and he was cross because he had gone to a posh

dinner wearing his suit and realised he had a long straggly ponytail down his back!

Saturday 6th

Helene’s (daughter) birthday and may be Baby Wheeler’s too! Sally is finally in labour, having strong

contractions. We’re quizzing and catching up all of us on Zoom tonight. Let’s hope it will be a double

celebration by then!

Sunday 7th

And it was! Little Liam came into the world at 3.29pm yesterday. With a mop of blond hair, he looks a lot

like his older brother already – the same shaped eyes.

Monday 8th

Mum C is all out of sorts. Not sure if it’s the isolation and lack of close contact with family and friends but

she’s been having what seem to us like panic attacks, ringing Paul a lot, saying she thinks she’s dying. We

both think she’s sunk into a depressive state as she did two years ago, even though she’s taking tablets for

depression. When she comes out of it she’s her usual bright chatty self. Her GP said he’s seeing a lot of

this at the moment among elderly folk who have been cooped up for the past three months. He’s prescribed

some ‘pick-me-up’ medication so we’ll see how she goes with that.

Tuesday 9th

I led an online SCBWI group on Zoom last night. Felt nervous beforehand but it turned out well with

everyone (there were twelve of us) participating in turn (while the others stayed on mute!). The positive

feedback I received has encouraged me to say I’ll continue organising the meetings for the time being. Who

knows when we’ll next be able to meet in the Coffee Shop?

Sabrina (sister) came to visit today and we sat in our blooming back garden eating our individual picnic

lunches. Then Bethan arrived with Owain and homemade trifles for me and Paul and we all chatted some

more until I remembered I hadn’t done my WoYN (Work on Your Novel writing course) homework – a piece

of free writing on a weather encounter. And so the days trundle by and we reluctantly accept that our new

normal (meeting online for church, not having friends around for supper or sleepovers with the grandkids,

wearing face masks) may be here for longer than we expected. Yesterday Matt Hancock hinted that not all

schools may be able to open in England, even in September. What a prospect! The government must put

their best efforts into ensuring this doesn’t happen.

Wednesday 10th

Yesterday I met my new Embrace friend (I’m a ‘befriender’ to a trafficking survivor) – Yoruba (not her real

name). We were introduced back in February when having coffee together was a thing! Then lockdown

happened. So it was the first time for a proper conversation face to face at a socially distanced get-together

near her home. She’s used to attending English classes and volunteering in a British Heart Foundation

charity shop so having to stay cooped up in her single room in the house where she lives with people who

are not her friends is really tough. Little wonder she’s been depressed. We got on well for a first meeting. I

hope we’ll be able to continue though we won’t be able to go far since Covid restrictions mean she can’t

travel in my car yet.

Thursday 11th

I Zoomed with Jessie (granddaughter) this afternoon. It helps Eloise for an hour or so if Paul and I spend

focussed time with the children. Today Jessie and I talked about ‘Elen’s Island’ a middle-grade book I’d

sent her a while back, talking about her favourite bits. The she read me a few of her favourite poems from

the ‘Please Mrs Butler’ anthology. Her reading is so confident and expressive! Paul has been meeting with

her on Zoom too to discuss the bits they like best from the David Attenborough series ‘One Planet.’ Pandas

and polar bears have featured quite a bit!

Freddie is keen to Zoom too. Having made his way through the first three in the Harry Potter series he’s

keen to write his own novel! ‘The Wizard and the Lying Boy.’!!

And he’s loved the world landmarks jigsaw we sent him a couple of weeks ago. Thank goodness for online

shopping!

Sad text from Eloise earlier though. She the kids out for their walk passed their school not expecting to see

children in the playground. But they were, along with Freddie’s teacher whom he loves. Eloise said Freddie

cried and has been really sad all day.

Friday 12th

A lovely walk with Hayley (friend) this morning over the Northern Meadows first thing was followed by an

unexpectedly long visit from Daniel and the three boys while they waited for their car to be repaired locally.

It rained for a bit so baby Liam had to go into the shed to stay dry while the boys played with cars on the

patio. They used the loo inside though. That’s one of the biggest problems if we go anywhere for more than

an hour or so – no public toilets open.

Eloise texted earlier to say she and the kids were off for a play date with friends in the Park - their first in

three months - something we are not yet allowed to do in Wales. The variation in lockdown rules between

our four nations is one of the most confusing and frustrating things to live with. And no indication yet of

when the Wales five mile rule will be lifted so our England family can travel to see us. Police are positioned

on the Severn Bridge apparently and sending people back!

Sunday 14th

Good news late last night. Primary schools in Wales will be open to all children in all year groups before the

summer holidays even if class sizes will likely be restricted to fifteen. Not in England though much to

Freddie’s chagrin. Ruby (Year One) is the only one from their family whose class will be reopening.

Monday 15th

I walked through the village today and was confused and surprised to find non-essential shops still shut

when I thought they’d be open. But that’s only across the border silly! Only 28 deaths have been reported

over the weekend so numbers are definitely dropping, and on a consistent basis. But nothing in the future

looks certain – holidays, haircuts, crossing the border, just to name my top three.

Tuesday 16th

Plodding away at edits to my MS again today in anticipation of my Skype meeting with my Industry Editor

tomorrow. That’s another thing in my life that seems endless. And Eloise’s despair articulated over the

phone yesterday hasn’t helped my mood. As much as they are missing social contact, proper schooling,

other weekly activities I’m convinced the children won’t suffer long-term damage from the past three

months. I prayed later and the words from Jonah about God restoring the years the locusts have eaten

came to me. This deprivation will build character in our grandchildren I’m convinced of it, much as the war

years did for our parents’ generation. And it’s in tough circumstances that our faith grows. We have to dig

deep. Even if the little ones won’t be consciously be thinking that way they will have grown in important

ways through Covid 19. Eloise has already alluded to that. She’s just having a particularly tough week. So

I’m praying for encouragement for our darling daughter this week, whatever and wherever.

Friday 19th

Good news finally on seeing our England family! It seems that travel restrictions are likely to be lifted on

Monday 6th July. Woohoo! We had a robust discussion on Whats App yesterday with me advocating

breaking the border rules but then remembering our heroic NHS staff pulled me back in line (along with

some stern but nicely said ripostes from Jade and Bethan (daughters). We all agreed in the end we’ll just

have to wait until we are given the green light.

Saturday 20th

A lovely couple of hours with Helene, Becky and Connoe at the local park. Hide and seek was on the menu

(as usual!), Becky’s particular brand of it anyway, putting her hands over her eyes and truly believing that

means she can’t be seen by the ‘seeker’! Ryan (son in law) is covering Covid wards all weekend so it was a

time-filler for Helene and we so much enjoyed the contact (not too close!) with the kiddies.

On the way home we met Lois out on her bike. She told us she’d driven up to Northeast Wales yesterday to

meet her new grandson. Against the five mile rule but who can blame her? He’s already four weeks plus.

She hardly stopped to draw breath – how hard lockdown has been, taking her Mum and disabled aunt out

for walks, missing face to face contact with her local grandchildren. We couldn’t stay long but it made me

realise once again how much harder life has been for people like Lois, living alone.

Sunday 21st

Father’s Day. Sabrina and I met outside Dad’s and he agreed to walk with us. He’d had enough then but

Sabrina and I chatted for ages before we decided she’d drive me home (with all the windows open!)

Later Paul and I went up to Hayley and Richard’s who are celebrating their Ruby anniversary today. Nice to

have a reason to dress up a bit! We sat at the top of their very large garden, (it’s like a small country park!)

before Philip and Wendy arrived and we had cheese and biscuits and cake, all managed safely, helping

ourselves. It was a nice couple of hours with our buddies.

Monday 22nd

Visitors here today! Charlie and Catherine (older friends) arrived mid-afternoon for tea and cake in the

garden (Paul’s Victoria sponge and a coffee and walnut cake Jade had made for Father’s Day) It was so

good to see them both looking well though I sensed from things that were said, that lockdown has been a

struggle at times in their apartment with no balcony or their own garden. It made me appreciate our small

space all the more. Catherine kept getting up and walking around admiring the pale mauve roses and

clematis especially. They seem older though, less confident in themselves. Stories Catherine told of

experiencing anxiety whenever they step outside their apartment, concerned about going into shops even

wearing masks.

Wednesday 24th

Out in the car for the first time for weeks, apart from short local journeys. It felt quite freeing, and on such a

hot sunny day. We picked up a take-away Afternoon Tea for Hayley and Richard – our anniversary gift to

them. Hayley told me later there was so much food they invited the Piper’s (neighbour friends) across to

help them eat it! It certainly looked very yummy.

Thursday 25th

The hottest day of the year so far. Temperatures have soared to 30C degrees! There’s a gentle breeze but

it’s not helping with perspiration levels that much, not up here in my den anyway.

I’m less interested in writing about Covid now. Wonder if other contributors to the project are feeling the

same. So what’s been happening on that front? Easing of restrictions certainly though still not so much in

Wales. While schools are back, up to sixteen people can meet up and most non-essential shops are open

in England, in Wales we are still only allowed to mix outside with one other household and finding only a

few non-food shops open for business. I was however able to buy a Father’s Day card at the entrance to

the card shop on Saturday! Suzie brought out a selection for me to browse. Libraries, pubs, hotels, theatres

and swimming pools remain closed and I’ve noticed more people choosing to wear a mask even out of

doors. But I’m hoping Matthew (hairdresser) will be able to cut my hair on Saturday 18th and most

excitingly, there is a strong likelihood of the five mile rule being lifted Monday week meaning Eloise and co

will be able to drive down for a visit!

Saturday 27th

The papers today aren’t excluding the possibility of a second wave of Covid and from the pictures I saw of

people crowding on to Bourenmouth and Ogmore beaches it wouldn’t be surprising if we find ourselves

facing further lockdowns. Please God not before we’ve seen our beloved England family! Papers do love

scaremongering of course.

Sunday 29th

Spikes in Leicester (being locked down for another two weeks) and in factories in North Wales prove the re

is no room for complacency or careless behaviour. Covid 19 has not gone away even while schools in

Wales reopen and the First Minister is confirming the two household bubble which has been in place over

the border for some weeks. It means when Eloise and co come down as we hope they will on Monday 6th

they’ll be able to stay with us as our ‘bubble buddies.’

Richie and Beau have been back at nursery today, loving the resumption of routine and activity and

meeting up with their friends. Beau even managed his first standing-up wee! Daniel and Sally are very

lucky. Most nurseries aren’t reopening until September.

Monday 30th

Ruby went off happily to school this morning leaving her siblings rather glum. Then at bedtime was in tears

– doesn’t want to return tomorrow. Apparently because her class bubble is an odd number she had to do

Maths work on her own which she couldn’t manage but was too shy to ask because the woman in charge

of the class isn’t her usual teacher. She also missed seeing her siblings at break time. So that’s the end of

the pre-summer school experiment! Hopefully they’ll all be returning in September though I imagine

classroom arrangements won’t be much different. Lots of adjusting to do.

July 2020

Wednesday 1st

I have to confess to having given very little thought to my Corona Diary entries over the past few weeks.

Our adapted way of life since March has become the norm: stepping into the road to keep our distance,

ordering groceries online, queuing for the Co-op, (almost the only shop we’ve been into apart from another

where I’ve bought wool), checking the news to find out when the five mile rule will be lifted and we’ll be able

to see Eloise and co. And get a haircut! Paul and I are trying not to snack so much (which did become the

norm for several weeks!), avoiding the temptation to bake cakes or order takeaways. Annoyingly I’ve

gained half a stone. Living under these ongoing restrictions has all become rather boring now and I

certainly feel less connected with our church family.

Thursday 2nd

I was glad of most of the day away from my desk and endless editing to be out in the open air. Met Bethan

and Owain at Delmont Park in the morning and after lunch, a walk through the ancient woods with my sis.

The meadows were brimming over with celandines rippling in the breeze, the stream finding a way around

the trees. Out of the blue we stumbled across the ruins of a stone cottage where a fully grown ash tree had

taken root! It must have been there for a hundred years. The trunk was certainly too thick for me to get my

arms around it. Sabrina and I sat on her little patio later drinking tea and eating honey on toast. When we

parted we decided to have a hug, a very tight one. My first with anyone other than Paul since lockdown

began. Sabrina is anxious about her daughter, Hannah, who’s working on a Covid ward. The nursing staff

speak highly of Hannah’s care and compassion as a young medic. But she’s been qualified only two or

three years and Sabrina is concerned she’s carrying too much responsibility, emotionally anyway. She’s

clearly articulated that the days are difficult but doesn’t want to talk much about work.

I’m conscious I haven’t written much about my God time lately. I so want to stay on an even keel with my

faith and it feels pathetic when I struggle to do that, remembering how ‘easy’ life is for me and Paul during

Covid, compared with many others. Am I being hard on myself? Seeing how bright and faith-filled others at

RBC (Rhiwbina Baptist Church) are (publicly anyway) doesn’t help one bit. And I’m going through my Bible

readings like a tick-box exercise some days. Some of the OT (Old Testament) readings are really hard

going and we haven’t come to Job yet! I really need to spend an hour or two just sitting listening to God,

resting in his presence. I know that’s the answer. Just being, not doing.

Friday 3rd

So I did just that after reading words from Psalm 80 that lifted me. ‘Restore us Lord God Almighty. Make

your face shine on us.’ It reminded me again of The Blessing, the song that came out in the early days of

lockdown and that was all I needed today. A wet, miserable day of non-stop rain and strong winds.

Everything looking so soggy. I realised just now I haven’t left the house since Wednesday! So unlike me.

Next Monday (forecast to be drier and warmer) Eloise is travelling with the children to see us all and staying

overnight, now that we are allowed to bubble up with one other household. Thank you Mark Drakeford! It’s

the longest we’ve ever been apart. Longer even than when Eloise was away for three months in 1999.

Saturday 4th

I’ve begun to realise that the feelings of anxiety I felt when lockdown started have resurfaced now that we

are faced with coming out of it and trying to live more or less normally again. Yes, we can wear face masks

but the protection they afford is questionable. Some scientists are saying the virus will wear itself out like

the Spanish flu 100 years ago but others disagree. So where does that leave us and the need to protect

Mum C. and Dad? What about Bethan’s new childminding business? How will she make sure Gary and

Owain, with their asthma, stay safe? Same for Matthew when the children start back school in September.

(Ruby’s re-entry was a damp squib. Second day back saw her struggling to work on her own, fighting back

tears because she doesn’t know the teacher and was afraid to tell her. Poor lamb!) Paul keeps on about the

economy, but life in a few weeks is inevitably going to involve more risk-taking and I’m not sure I’m ready

for that. Helene needs something to change though. She didn’t join the family game of Balderdash on

Zoom tonight, feeling low all week she told me, ‘numb’ and ‘snappy.’

Tuesday 7th

I wake this morning to the welcome sound of light footsteps on the stairs, doors being quietly opened and

closed, whispered voices. Yes! Freddie, Jessie and Ruby are here with their darling Mummy! They arrived

just after midday yesterday, screaming with joy when they passed the ‘Welcome to Wales’ sign apparently

and almost falling out of the car in their eagerness to hug us. And as Freddie predicted, his mummy was

teary at the welcome poster I’d made hurriedly and stuck on the lounge window.

In sixteen weeks there were some noticeable changes. The children all looked (and are!) taller, Freddie just

a head-height shorter than his Nonna now. A growing confidence in Ruby, longer fringes on all of them. But

after an hour it was like they’d never been away; Jessie sulking at Freddie’s ‘annoying behaviour’, the three

of them sitting around the kitchen table for lunch - hummus sandwiches and hula hoops, and Paul and I

exclaiming over the number of apples Ruby has already consumed!

Later, once the kids were asleep I made Helene’s Mushroom and Blue Cheese Stroganoff and we listened

as Eloise shared her thinking about future career plans. She’s considering teacher training again – her plan

before her current job popped up two years ago. It felt such a treat having her here – the first meal indoors

with anyone since March. A couple of glasses of wine and easy conversation – just like old times!

Wednesday 8th

And then they were gone! But not for long. Jessie wants her birthday celebrations on the 19th in Wales so

she can see all the family, she said. Very happy with that.

Saturday 11th

What a great week it’s been for seeing everyone. After Eloise’s visit we spent the morning with Richie and

Beau at Delmont Park. Helene joined us too with Becky and Connor. The older cousins romped around the

trees and bushes climbing the low-down branches and playing their version of hide and seek, i.e. covering

their eyes with their hands thinking they can’t be seen! On and off their scooters they managed to dodge

the terrifying geese and run at alarming speeds down steep embankments. Makes me realise how long it’s

been since we spent time with them like this.

Tuesday 14th

Still rarely going into shops though I did call in to Sainsbury’s today where the tills are all self-service,

separated by Perspex dividers and plenty of aisle space so I felt very safe buying aubergines for a tasty

veggie supper. More people wearing masks though it’s not compulsory here as it is now in England. I even

managed to persuade Dad to buy a pack since he’s shopping at Aldi’s again. He’s had a haircut too – the

barbershop opened yesterday. Mine on Saturday! I cannot wait!

Schools will be reopening in September for all pupils and Bethan, now fully registered can start her

childminding business.

No Wimbledon this year sadly but they did a good job of showing classic matches from the past. I’m still

going through the ones on I Player.

Thursday 16th

We went to visit Betty today, (elderly friend in care home) not having seen her since February. I’ve sent her

a couple of cards and enclosed a photo of us every time. Otherwise I doubt she’d have a clue who ‘Stella

and Paul’ are!

On arrival in the garden we had to don thin rubber gloves and visors. The visiting area was the adapted

‘summer house’ set up with a Perspex screen separating us from Betty. She smiled when she approached

us but probably didn’t know who we were. She hasn’t changed much and her dementia seemed no worse

though she was confused about all the paraphernalia. Before we left we asked the staff about the positive

Covid test she and other residents had a couple of months ago. None of them had any symptoms. The care

assistant rolled her eyes and said they had reason to think the tests had given false results!

Friday 17th

Eloise and Matthew arrived earlier and now it’s 11.50pm, everyone is tucked up. It’s hard to describe how

satisfying it is to have all five of them here under our roof. Eloise keeps saying how much the children have

missed visiting and Ruby quite unprompted, vocalised how lovely it is that they can drive to Wales now.

Freddie even told his friends with real pleasure apparently that they were coming to see ‘Mum’s parents,

our grandparents.’ We’ve missed them so badly, I just hadn’t thought of it quite so much from their

perspective.

We’re all twenty-one of us meant to be getting together at the beach tomorrow which is not officially

allowed. Yet outside the pub across the road people are crammed together on benches with very little SD

(social distancing) as far as I can see, and from Monday, Ryan (son-in-law) can play football with ten

others. All part of getting the economy kick-started again I know but we can’t legally spend time even out of

doors with our wider family! Having said that if the beach is rammed when we arrive we’ll all be turning

around and heading back home. No sense in taking unnecessary risks.

Saturday 18th

But it was fine. Paul didn’t come. His back has been so painful he’s been seeing the chiropractor. Lots of

family groups under scudding clouds, and regular messages over the tannoy reminding visitors about the

need to keep apart. Jade and James brought a new rounders set and we adults all took turns in batting and

fielding while the little ones paddled and played in the sand, or in the girls case, with Ruby’s new double

buggy. It was huge fun. The sun even came out for a while.

The England children are staying on for two days while Eloise and Matthew get back to work. I’m sure

they’ll be fine but they haven’t spent more than a few hours away from their parents for months and the

impact of isolation has definitely taken its toll on them, and on Eloise. They’re much more demanding of her

company especially and she in turn is struggling to let them do things on their own.

Tuesday 21st

We kept the children fully occupied by walking the River footpath and meeting up with Sally and the boys

later at the Park. The playground (supposed to be open from the weekend) still had tape around the gate

so I rather naughtily climbed over the railings and lifted the little ones over. The sun was out and it was a

delight to see the cousins all getting on so well, helped by Jessie’s willingness to let Richie use her new

Nurf gun! Ice creams from the van rounded our park time off nicely.

We were at Sabrina’s the next morning, admiring the bees (from a distance) and venturing bravely (just

Freddie!) into the new chicken run Mick (brother-in-law) has built. And they all loved returning to the rope

swing in the woods behind the house. So much interest there for children. And they were lovely, so polite

and thankful – a credit to Eloise and Matthew, Sabrina said to me later.

After lunch I drove them halfway where Eloise was waiting for us. The furthest I’ve driven for months, Paul’s

still keeping him out of action. Motoring back to Wales on my own I thought what a satisfying weekend and

then time on our own we’d had with Freddie, Jessie and Ruby. But it wasn’t just the children. There was an

air of excitement which I wasn’t really expecting, from Eloise and Matthew too, and that warmed my heart.

Sunday 26th

So where are we with Covid right now? One answer would be ‘confused’. With four sets of rules governing

life across the UK it’s sometimes hard to keep track of what applies in Wales and to reconcile it with the

greater freedoms applicable in England. Not being able to gather in larger groups than two households is

probably the most frustrating, although we broke that one at the beach and everyone is okay (in spite of

Freddie developing a cough and temperature for a few days but testing negative thankfully.) We won’t be

able to have anyone else in the house for the foreseeable. I was only thinking and chatting with Helene

today about how lovely it would be to have Becky here for a sleepover.

We enjoyed a lovely walk this afternoon though along the River, followed by a BBQ at ours with Jade and

James. It was a bit chilly in the garden but we managed with blankets. Paul could have lit the fire pit but we

didn’t think of it till afterwards.

Tuesday 28th

Met Hayley intending to go walking, but the rain was coming down sideways as I strode head down across

the grass to meet her. So we sat in her car with all the windows open instead. She’s evidently needing time

and space for herself, even with all the room they have. I miss seeing her and my other friends. Even now

when things are less restricted we don’t get together very often and it depends so much on having fine

weather.

Overall I think Paul and I have come through lockdown okay. Our marriage is as strong as it was and we’ve

managed not to drive one another crazy! Largely due I suspect to being able to carry on with our separate

‘hobbies’ (Paul’s allotment, my writing) and then come together for supper in front of the TV with plenty to

talk about. Other couples seem to thrive on spending all day together, but ‘we’re all different’ as my mother-

in-law would say!

Wednesday 29th

Picking up on what I wrote yesterday, I think one of the reasons Paul and I have come through these past 4

months better than I expected is praying together every night. We’ve hardly missed. It’s definitely drawn us

closer, praying through the pressures of Covid-living, not just for ourselves but friends and family. And

praying too for those friends who’ve been unlucky enough to fall ill with cancer in this time.

Mum C has been having a hard time with what seems to be hot flushes accompanied by a racing

heartbeat. She’s been checked out by her GP who’s reassured her that her heart is okay but she insists on

Paul going over every time it happens. They had ‘words’ about it when he wouldn’t go over today. We’re

sure it’s connected with all the time she’s spent isolating at home, because she always bucks up when we

go over. Living on her own at 95 isn’t easy but she’s still able to look after herself. By no means ready to

think about moving into a care home. And certainly not at the moment when visiting would be so restricted.

August 2020

Saturday 1st

I’ve decided to stop counting the days since lockdown. (Today is day 135). It seems meaningless now that

we’re no longer technically locked down; we just have some significant restrictions to live with like not being

able to meet up indoors with more than one other household.

Chris Whitty, the Chief Medical Officer for England said this week that this might be as good as it gets for

some time. So there isn’t going to be an official end to ‘all this’ soon, maybe – I won’t say never! – not until

a vaccine is found. That’s not a happy thought.

Today we drove to England for Ruby’s sixth birthday. Now that was something to get excited about! Daniel

and Sally were there too, with their (now) three boys! Paul got to cuddle baby Liam at last. He is already

proving to be a model baby – eats, sleeps and smiles! For the second day in a row it felt like my cup was

running over! Yesterday it was Becky sitting next to me on the garden bench. Asking me where the bed she

sleeps in when she comes to stay has gone (we’re decorating the bedroom) and making her funny little

faces when she plays big sister to Connor. She hasn’t been as warm and chatty as that since before

lockdown. It was a reminder to me of how things haven’t changed, that Becky remembers who we are in

her little life that she remembers all the special things we do together.

Monday 3rd

We’ve just arrived for our short holiday. An enjoyable easy drive here and full sunshine to greet us. Straight

away we strolled down through woodland alongside the estuary and the beached boats (at low tide) ending

up with full views of the sands dotted with families, children racing down to the shallows, walkers high up on

the cliff path. Such a happy scene! To see the sea at last – perfect! And never like this in high summer.

We’ve always come out of season before this.

After picking up an ice cream we chatted with our lovely hosts who went through all the Covid restrictions.

Breakfast (bacon rolls and croissants) will be left on a trolley outside our door and they won’t enter our

room for the duration of our stay. Before we leave they’ve asked us to strip the bed and bundle the bedding

into a laundry bag which will remain untouched for seventy-two hours while they give the room a deep

clean. They were telling us how much extra equipment they’ve had to buy.

Tuesday 4th

And delicious it was too – breakfast. Though far too much for me.

We drove to St David’s later and popped into an art gallery there looking for that elusive Tim Fudge

painting! The Harbour Lights gallery had much more to our liking and we decided to return on Friday to

make a final choice before driving home. It would be nice to go home with something this time.

Later we drove over Pembrokeshire, a bleak spot on a day like this, grey and blustery. We wanted to see

the stretch of rock jutting into the sea that was the inspiration for one of the oil paintings, with its splashes of

blue and yellow. But close up it looked nothing like it. The rain was never heavy but it remained dull and

damp all afternoon, the horizon shrouded in mist, the water choppy. There were swimmers though. In

wetsuits no doubt. Not like in our day!

Wednesday 5th

We enjoyed a lovely walk this morning before the heavens opened. The sky was almost clear, children

were frolicking in rock pools as we joined the coastal path. It was so warm we both took off our jackets. We

stopped by the post office and bought a print by Sarah somebody then set off back to our cottage in a

teeming downpour. I was literally soaked to my undies by the time we arrived.

But things looked up with an unexpectedly happy end to the day. Dinner exceeded all our expectations.

During lockdown the chef told us as we waited to settle our bill, they came up with the idea of having ‘pods’

built with overhead heaters and dotting them around the large, rather rustic garden behind the hotel. Ours

was next to a disused greenhouse, another alongside cold frames where herbs were sprouting. The menu

was distinctive and yummy – Crab linguine for me, a couple of glasses of Vino Verde chased by a

Strawberry Daiquiri. Paul and I laughed a lot tonight about having expected this evening to disappoint,

about the prospect of being 80 in just over ten years and wondering what we’d be thinking of ourselves

then. How strange to still feel about 35 and wonder how we’d arrived at such a great age!

Thursday 6th

So our first (?) Covid holiday. What has been significantly different? Room service (non-existent, but that’s

been fine), seeing many more people donning masks (even though it’s not compulsory in Wales) and some

shops actively asking customers to wear them. Like the dress agency I entered. I haven’t worn one before

and it felt quite weird, not to talk of the difficulty of seeing anything when my glasses steamed up. There’s

evidently a knack which I need to master.

I’ve already mentioned dining arrangements, then today walking the coastal path (we walked about 3.5

miles) there was a lot of pulling ourselves in and pressing up against hedges to let people pass. A bit like

looking for a passing place in a car. We called in to a pub for a much-need cider and crisps and had to give

our names and phone numbers for contact and trace. Across the UK news is mixed. In Wales only 2 people

are in ICU with Covid but a few northern cities are under threat of lockdown again and Aberdeen which has

seen a sharp rise in cases is back to restrictions already. There’s a lot of talk about a second wave and

whether pubs might have to shut so that schools can remain open.

The picture looks much the same across Europe with holidaymakers travelling to various destinations –

France and Spain included – threatened with having to quarantine for fourteen days when they come back.

Which all sounds grim even though our little corner of Wales leaves us free at the moment anyway to enjoy

our time away and meet up with family and friends when we return. There’s even the possibility of Life

Group meeting in someone’s garden now that up to thirty can legally congregate out of doors.

Friday 14th

From next Saturday, in Wales, we’ll be allowed to meet up with three other households indoors. But is has

to be the same three, forming a bigger bubble. So once we’ve decided who those three will be, we can’t

have different family/friends around on other days. That makes sense, though because it was wet today we

did have Helene and the kids here for an hour playing with toys. And I’m not sure how we decide which

others in our large family we’ll add on to Eloise and Matthew when they come down from England. It’s all

quite complicated! In the meantime and because the weather remains balmy in the evenings, we can see

one another outside but once we’re into autumn and the nights are drawing in (does anyone else use that

expression any more? Reminds me of Mum!) it won’t be so easy for evening get-togethers.

Sunday 16th

Betty has fallen and broken her hip. The Care home rang us yesterday morning. She’s due to have it

pinned today. Obviously we won’t be able to visit her in hospital. Poor Betty she’ll be so confused and no

one with her. They mentioned her dementia has worsened since we saw her a month ago and she’s started

wandering at night. I do hope she’ll be able to return to the care home and not have to move into a nursing

home.

Paul’s Mum seems to have had a better week. Her assessment at St David’s proved inconclusive re her hot

flushes and palpitations. It wore her out though. Paul said she was still exhausted when he called on

Friday. This old age lark isn’t easy.

Lunch at Sabrina and Mick’s was lovely yesterday. Lewis and Alex were there when we arrived. Gosh, we

haven’t seen one another since February! No hugging but that was okay in the circumstances and

obviously sensible for Dad and all of us. Sabrina made delicious tuna melts and a bean salad followed by

her own ice-cream and waffle cones.

Saturday 22nd

A horrible day for Daniel (train driver son). A fatality on the line, the first train of the day. What with the

reduced services because so few people are travelling by train, he’s actually driven very little the past few

months and now this. A tragedy for the elderly man’s family and awful for our boy. He’ll be off for a while,

weeks, maybe a couple of months while counselling is arranged. We saw him and Sally and the boys this

afternoon and he seems okay but obviously can’t get it out of his mind. ‘But that’ll get easier,’ he said to me.

And it will.

Thursday 27th

Now that we can meet indoors as four households life it’s much easier to see the children and

grandchildren, especially since August has been such a wet month. On Tuesday we looked after Becky and

Connor for Helene to catch up on some work in the office. They loved it, happy to be here, laughing and

marching around the downstairs to ‘The grand old Duke of York’ and pretending to blow me over after we’d

read the story of the Three Little Pigs! And they ate everything I put in front of them. Later we took them to

the play centre. Adults there were all masked up and sitting socially distanced but the kids played happily.

Such a happy satisfying day for all four of us.

Then today we had the joy of spending the whole afternoon with Bethan and Gary and Owain. It wasn’t the

plan but the heavy rain settled any question of walking around the bay together. Instead Bethan nipped into

M&S and bought pizza and dough balls and a range of sweet treats and we sat around our kitchen table all

five of us something we haven’t done since March. It was just the best time! As we chatted Owain carried

toy cars from our back room into the kitchen and lined them up one by one on the table. Sitting on Paul’s

lap he spent the rest of the afternoon moving them around as though it was a huge car park. Such

concentration on his little face!

Days like these are precious. And not to be taken for granted. There is increasing talk of a second wave in

the autumn...

September 2020

Tuesday 1st

So, September! A birthday, a holiday before that and grandchildren starting back to school. Chillier

mornings too, though not today.

Wednesday 2nd

Matthew (hairdresser) coloured my hair last night. Ash blonde it’s supposed to be. Mixed with my grey it’s

come out looking like scrambled eggs! (the colour not the texture!) It was all Paul’s idea. Wish I hadn’t

listened. I love my mix of greys – silver, dove, steel. Should have stuck to highlights like before.

Not the only reason I woke up feeling low. We’d hoped 95 year old mum-in-law would enjoy a trip

yesterday, on what would have been Pamela’s sixty-sixth birthday. Although initially keen she cried off at

the last moment saying she felt too tired. It would do her so much good to go out having been stuck in all

these months, ‘shielding.’ What with the episodes she’s been having – hot flushes and racing heartbeat -

we’ve seen a significant change in her ability to cope with life. Makes me sad, thinking about how much

help she gave us when the children were small and how frail she now is.

On a brighter note, just saw little our neighbour’s child setting off for school, all shiny and bright with a new

backpack and her blonde ponytail bouncing. SBC (church) nursery starts back today too. Must pray.

Monday 7th

We arrived at a classy restaurant with rooms an hour ago. A six hour journey by car with loo breaks and a

lay-by M&S lunch.

Helene and Ryan are on holiday for the week, having escaped the local lockdown by one day! (They slept

at ours last night to be sure of getting away.) Helene would have been gutted to forfeit the only break they’ll

get this year. And knowing how tough the last six months have been for them with Ryan’s pharmacy work

on and off the Covid wards, I’d have been concerned for their mental health. As it is we’re not supposed to

visit them once the area is locked down. Not sure how easy Helene will find it to be cut off from her family.

We may have to play the compassion card,

Skies here are grey and cloudy, not quite the sunny welcome we were expecting but it feels quite the

adventure in the current climate travelling almost one side of the UK to the other and I’m looking forward to

exploring the countryside and coastline.

Tuesday 8th

I slept so well. What a relief after the past week when I’ve kept waking around 5.30 a.m. All the stuff I’ve

read talks about stress and anxiety, but that’s not me. Unless I’m not aware of it!

After a delicious if rather chaotic breakfast we set off for one of the Broads where we hired a small boat for

an hour. Paul did very well keeping to the centre of the channel as instructed and the trip passed without

incident. We even spotted a heron! After a drink outside at a nearby pub we spent the rest of the day at

another Broad, reading and watching a variety of tour boats and larger day cruisers. Very relaxing . I’ve

even topped up my tan!

Wednesday 9th

We headed north today to a traditional seaside town with a broad stretch of shingly beach, a promenade

high up level with the town and an assortment of buildings some dating back to Victorian times, including

the Gothic-style Hotel and an old red-brick Baptist church. The town was packed, mainly people like us of a

‘certain age’, taking advantage of the schools being back the loosening of restrictions before the looming

second wave. We sampled the pier and later followed a short trail out of the town centre which took us

through attractive woods. Later we drove to the neighbouring village where we discovered through a patch

of woodland a path along the cliffs adjoining the Golf Course. It was a lovely afternoon full of interest. We

also found ourselves wondering why the German word for beach –strand – had found its way into the

lexicon of east coast English villages!

Thursday 10th

Today we were at Burgh Castle and the Roman Fort built there around 300 AD on the banks of the River

Waveney. We did lots of walking before looking for some green space to sit, preferably with a river view.

Eventually we settled for Ludham Bridge Staithe a busy spot, a variety of river craft gliding up and down the

waterway, their owners/hirers for the day keen to attract our attention by waving!

The grim backdrop to our splendid time away however is the increasing number of restrictions being

imposed by all four UK governments as Covid numbers begin to rise again. As well as local lockdowns in

Wales, England is confining the number who can meet out of doors and in, to six. Which will affect our

getting together with the our family (daughter) in England, possibly for several months. In light of that I’m so

happy we’d arranged before coming away to spend the weekend with them (the rules don’t apply till

Monday next).

Not much space for quiet time with God since we’ve been away. But reading my Bible I’ve been reminded

that though separation from our beloved family is once again threatened I can know God’s peace by

placing my trust in him. I need to do that every day, because knowing me, a one off prayer won’t be

enough!

Saturday 12th

A boat trip ended our staycation in this beautiful area.

Six hours later we received a very warm reception from the children and a tight hug from Eloise. Even in

these Covid 19 times six weeks felt too long and we spent the evening over an M&S curry around their

kitchen table catching up on school re-entry (very positive from all three kids), Eloise and Matthew’s new

workstations (courtesy of the capable and ingenious Mr Brown!) and how we all feel about the latest

restrictions. Confused and frustrated appeared to be the consensus, especially when it seems that the

couldn’t-care-less attitude of a relatively small number is to blame.

Wednesday 16th

Highlights of the past few days:

Watching with the children their excellent online junior chruch. Lovely to see all three of them engaged.

Matthew’s BBQ lunch in the garden – another five star spread!

Sad good-byes. How long will it be before we see one another again?

Washing and more washing. Sunshine and more sunshine. The unusually balmy air temperature feels

(though doesn’t smell the same) like Portugal in July. The Indian Summer continues.

Dad calling in after his post lockdown haircut. Nice chat over tea and cake in our garden.

Babysitting for the Wheeler boys. No problem with cuddly, soft-haired Liam, just his two older brothers

crying for their Daddy.

Thursday 17th

So now RCT has gone into lockdown. For weeks probably. Figures there are much higher than Caerphilly.

Means we can’t see James and Jade now either. It’s not just us of course. Loads of our friends are in the

same boat. Not that it makes it any easier knowing that.

Becky starts school next week – and I so want to see her, to have her little being next to me on the sofa as

we read ‘Rosie’s Hat’ together; tucking her up in the bottom bunk when she comes for a sleepover and

hearing her call out ‘Nonna, I awake’ the next morning. How long Lord, how long?

Monday 21st

I slept so well last night, and back in the marital bed too. Paul’s horrible cold has kept us apart.

Lots of work on my novel last week and incorporating the feedback I received from my Nigerian reader.

Very helpful on the whole.

The Covid news is less encouraging. With three of our children in lockdown it looks like the rest of the UK is

sliding inexorably towards a second wave. There is talk of the PM announcing second two week national

lockdown over October half-term and no doubt Wales will follow suit. Hefty fines are being threatened (not

before time!) and neighbours being encouraged to report non-compliance.

Everywhere you go people are talking about it – relating stories, their experiences – workmen repairing

roads, people queuing for the Co-op, neighbours here on our road. And the Telegraph headline today -

‘Britain in ‘Last Chance Saloon’’, the ‘last chance’ being the opportunity to avoid tougher lockdown

measures – pub and restaurant, border closures.

Wednesday 23rd

Pubs closing at 10pm. No unnecessary travelling. No national lockdown yet. We won’t be able to see our

local girls for the foreseeable. Though Jade told me she’ll be down with an ‘emergency pack’ for her ‘elderly

parents’ tomorrow. Code for delivering my birthday card. I laughed!

Sunday 27th

Who would have thought a lockdown birthday could be such fun! I guess my expectations were low so that

helped. The forecast for the day was for heavy rain so I thought we might be stuck indoors reading for most

of the time. Far from it! One visitor after another turned up with birthday cards and prezzies so there were

lots of doorstep chats, along with a few extended phone conversations and what’s app video calls. After

school Daniel and Sally arrived with the boys who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ and helped blow out the candles.

Paul and I rounded off the day with dinner at the Vineyard where surreally we sat ‘outside’ in their massive

wedding marquee along with about five other occupied tables while waiters in masks served us the most

sumptuous food.

On Saturday after climbing the Waiter Hill with Sabrina (sister), our whole family (all the adults, that is)

came together for a birthday quiz on Zoom which ended with a round on ‘interesting events’ in my life.

Nothing too embarrassing thankfully! Lots of Wheeler banter between questions made it a special evening.

Who knows when we’ll get together in person. Even a family Christmas is in doubt. The next few months

will tell.

Monday 28th

Afternoon tea at Wendy’s yesterday, with Hayley. (close friends) Final birthday celebration. Sadly Marie

couldn’t join us. The fresh lockdown arrangements (no indoor gatherings with other households) didn’t

come into force until 6pm but we sat outside anyway in their pretty garden, in the corner where the sun

shone warmly till after five. Everything was homemade – from the pickled beetroot in the ham sandwiches

to the raspberry jam on the scones! Such a lovely treat. Conversation centred around our elderly parents –

the joys and trials of theirs (and our) lives, and the grandchildren obviously. We now have eighteen

between the three of us.

And we talked about the importance of looking forward to the winter, not dreading it or gritting our teeth. We

will come through this!