Corona Diaries

Summer

“Now I sit up until midnight to wait for the day to change on the delivery schedule”

Background Information

Female, aged 55-64, Landlord in USA, White, Married.

17th April 2020

We're British ex-pats. We have lived in the USA for 8 years. We are currently on Long Island, New York.

Our town has been the epicentre of the state's COVID19 outbreak. The state is the epicentre of this country. The USA is the epicentre of the world, having surpassed Italy's numbers.

Every day I read the death toll in our county of 1.4 million. Today it was up 132 from two days before. There had been no figure for yesterday. I expect they were too busy to record it. 165 confirmed cases in our town.

I've forgotten what the lock-down rules are here because I forget which country has imposed which rules. I monitor the news from the UK of course, but also we have friends and relatives in European countries and Australia. We had decided to isolate ourselves anyway; my husband has a history of serious chest illness.

We are very fortunate to live in a 3000 square foot, pale-grey-and-white Victorian house tied to my husband's job. It's just the two of us with our dog. The house is unique, with very high ceilings, shiny dark wood floors, an enormous reception area leading to an open-plan dining area, a corridor to the back regions comprising “pantry” and kitchen and small “mud room”. The house has many disadvantages, including the difficulty of cooling it in summer, which I find very difficult because it becomes very humid. (Occasionally I'm unable to go outside in it.) But at a time like this, the space is welcome. We don't have a private garden to speak of, but there are clipped, leafy grounds shared by others and, nearby, a couple of closed golf courses, where we can walk the dog without having to meet people. The marinas are closed, although some inlets now have boats.

This town, like so many others, is usually almost completely car-orientated. It is a pleasant enough suburb, with a formerly vibrant main street, and large residential area filled with well-mown lawns, trees, houses of all shapes and sizes, a few small marinas and a few small parks. Over the years, wherever we have lived, we have walked the dog every day and hardly ever met others on the pavements (if there were pavements at all). Now, scores of people walk, cycle or run past our house each day. It's good to see them taking exercise and enjoying the sunshine. It's even better to see previously incarcerated dogs, with their human packs, roaming as they were genetically programmed to do. Many people think that a “large back yard” (garden) is sufficient for the dog's mind.

The sounds we hear haven't changed greatly. The train stills hoots, taking essential workers to where they have to go, but the skies are almost empty. Aside from the local airport, JFK is operating a fraction of its

former flights. The breeze still blows, I still hear birdsong and the occasional woodpecker. Cars still pass, but there is more human chatter, the squeals of children, the odd bark of a dog.

Life under “lock-down” (if you can call it that here) is just as busy for me as before.

As a landlord, renting out UK properties remotely, I am in frequent contact with my tenants, but now to ask them how they are, rather than to organise maintenance.

I've been very fortunate so far – none have them have ended the tenancies to go back to their families. One had gone home for a holiday to his family in Ireland, thankful he did so before the London lock-down began. He is able to work from home. My Italian tenant was in Wales when her grandfather died, and unable to go back; there would have been no funeral in Italy anyway, but it was extremely upsetting for her. She is able to work from home also. The young man is able to work from home, but his partner has lost her job, at least for now. It was a small proportion of their income but I sent them a small rent refund last month. I'd told them not to be worrying – if they were in difficulty to let me know and we would work something out together. There is at present no sign of their returning to their families in another part of England.

So, I've not needed to consider a mortgage payment holiday, but if possible I'd prefer not to take of advantage of that unless absolutely unavoidable. My mortgage company is small and they'll presumably need every payment to continue in business. Also, taking a holiday might affect any later new mortgage applications and could damage one's credit rating.

I've been spending a large amount of time contacting friends and family whom I've neglected for far too long.

Shopping now takes an extraordinarily long time. I've been succeeding in organising grocery deliveries, but the supermarket web site is poorly designed and slow. It is impossible to find a delivery slot unless you go to unusual lengths. Now I sit up until midnight to wait for the day to change on the delivery schedule, and I click continuously - last time for 50 minutes – until it does so. Some of the slots are already taken. I deliberately order more than necessary because it is never all available on the delivery day. That has worked well, except for a rather large consignment of tinned tomatoes last time. There are never toilet rolls, kitchen rolls or virus-killing products.

Once the delivery is unloaded into our garage, I leave non-perishable goods there for many days to allow any virus to die. Those things which I have to bring into the house are carefully unwrapped and, where possible, washed in extremely hot water.

Our mail routine is similar – my husband goes out to the mailbox outside our front door and opens the mail in our sun lounge. Things which must be dealt with are left as long as possible before being brought into the house.

The food banks and second-hand shops in this town are mostly closed. Compassionate people who once took trolleys of food out to the poor have had to stop that. Very often these undertakings are staffed by elderly volunteers, usually organised by churches.

Public buildings are mostly closed, including churches who allow groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous to use their premises. I imagine they are having Zoom meetings. The town's mayor is doing a sterling job of promoting businesses who can organise online sales or kerbside (“curbside” here) grocery and food pickups. I was, however, very surprised to learn that the Post Office was operating a business-as-usual policy. They apparently have markings on the floor to delineate 6-foot distances. But I know that building; the queue is the other side of a barrier from the counter. You couldn't remain 6 feet away from the counter if you were in the queue. I have printed a postage label from the Post Office site and sent off our tax return that way.

20th April

I have an office in the house in which I do all my computing from a recliner chair, owing to arthritis in my back. Outside, I see a large well-kept front lawn, stretching over 100 feet down to the road, and mature trees. Across the road a large car park (“parking lot”) and a couple of traditional pale grey buildings with red doors. One was originally an orphanage and now houses a second-hand clothing (“thrift”) shop. The car park is empty these days. No donations are being received and no-one is shopping. The sky is darkening now, with wafts of pink candyfloss marking the hour of the day. In the west, rosy-blue strata fill the gaps between the trees' skeletal branches.

Where does the day go? An hour and half talking with a relative on Zoom, an hour reading news and corresponding with friends, an hour cleaning and cooking, half an hour with Gareth Malone's Great British Home Chorus, a couple of hours trying to get prescriptions renewed – one for myself; another for the dog. An hour exercising – part of that doing chair cardio which is surprisingly tough.

I've learned today that the YMCA, which I used to attend 5 times a week for different types of Tai Chi, has launched a new web site for online participation, and so we will be able to Tai Chi twice a week. This is wonderful news as we have an extremely good teacher. He was extremely upset when he had to tell his staff they were going to lose their jobs. There is no furlough system here, no 80% wage payments for workers. The financial aid touted for small businesses is reputedly going to large corporations. When people lose their jobs, they lose their health insurance, if they ever had any. The system is brutal.

There is no national health system. There is very little health provision for those without health insurance. Even with insurance, bills are extremely high. I am contesting a bill of $1000 from a specialist who spent under 5 minutes with me and who deemed it unnecessary actually to treat me for an injury. His full bill submitted to the insurers was over $3000. Years ago, a friend stored her possessions for two years in our basement - after her husband had been ill and died, she had lost everything including her home. She lurched from one daughter to another, one rented place to another, until finally settling down somewhere very small.

This country has seen 6.5 million new applications for unemployment benefit in the last 10 days or so.

We've been exceptionally fortunate so far in that almost nothing has changed for us financially, other than that our giving to others has increased. My husband has been able to continue working. So far, my tenants are still paying rent. We are promised a cheque of $1200 each from the US government in the coming

months. I still can't believe that they will actually arrive, but if they do, and barring emergencies, we'll donate the money to those less fortunate than we are. How could we not? We'd be profiteering if we didn't.

34 deaths since yesterday. 169 confirmed cases in our town.

22nd April

An American Facebook friend said she read the BBC news as much as possible and asked what my perspective of it was from a British point of view. I replied that I was biased but that I liked the BBC because it was generally not influenced by “partisan” politics. I explained the Charter and its requirement for impartiality. She said that reassured her. BBC News Online is my main source of news. I avoid radio and TV because facts not of my own choosing are dripped into my brain too fast for me to decide whether I want to know about them or not. Reading allows me to opt for what I can cope with at any given moment.

I have just seen a car towing a boat past our house. NY state, the centre of the COVID universe, is not on lock-down. It is on PAUSE, the rather vague meaning of which is “Policies Assure Uniform Safety for Everyone”. Non-essential businesses have closed - at first the golf courses classed themselves as “essential”: preferable, I suppose to the practice in at least one southern state as classing gun shops “essential” - and there are to be no “concentrations” of people in public. Consequently, those New Yorkers who have come out from the City to their second homes and their boats have brought the virus in cataclysmic proportions; the ferries are still running to Fire Island; elderly friends from this town who might have hidden there in their long-term second home have been unable to go because there are too many visitors for them to feel safe. You can't blame individuals for trying to escape it; NYC is far too small for much of its population to be able to practise social distancing. But if everyone except key workers had stayed at home, perhaps our friend's mother would not have died.

There's something I wonder about reserving judgement upon: the woman who was protesting in Denver against lock-down. She said it would ruin her. She was willing to risk

her health, and, yes, the health of others. I thought “Then you are no more than a murderer, because you neither know nor care if you have caused someone else's death or not.” But then I thought: it's a savage system that leaves people so desperate and without help that they are prepared to kill other people to save their livelihoods.

The UK has its flaws but I am glad that I'm British.

24th April

People across the world are restricted by various degrees of lock-down. Some very severely. Health workers all over the place are begging people to stay at home. UK NHS nurses are camping in their gardens to avoid giving the virus to their families. My friend's daughter, a nurse in South Wales, UK, has been floored by this illness, unable to go downstairs more than once a day; she endures the disease and isolation with support from her family and friends through the window and online.

And yet a young Facebook acquaintance has just flown from Tennessee to New York City, to spend three fun days with his wife, who has volunteered to work in a hospital there. She has been given an assignment of 21 days, which might be renewed in full or in part. He seems to think it sufficient to wear a mask. He does not want to know about the risk from touching surfaces or care about the risk he might be causing people on his travels, or to those back home when he returns. His posts have shown how much he has enjoyed his journey. He tells me he is justified in going because his wife is so special and needs support.

I admire the wife's courage, but his foolhardiness and selfishness beggar belief.

25th April

I miss home. I miss seeing my brother and his family. I miss things like the sparkling strip of moon laid across the Welsh sea, the small-scale aching beauty of British countryside, its changeability, variation in shape and colour as you travel from one part to another. I miss the sense that people are pulling together and surmounting their previous Brexit differences, cheering on a national health service that belongs to us, that serves the nation, and is not a collection of self-serving, exclusive, small-minded businesses. Captain Tom Moore celebrated his centenary this week by walking the garden 100 times to raise £1000 for the NHS. The total sum so far exceeds £20 million.

26 million unemployed in this country. Perhaps that is what the president is trying to smokescreen by speculation about the possible benefits of injecting oneself with pesticide.

There is very good news in that the daily death toll in our county has been coming down. Hovering around the 35 mark, but today it went up into the 40s again. 204 confirmed cases in our town.

28th April

I witnessed from afar a very large funeral yesterday. 24 cars parked and people making little or no attempt to maintain distance at the cemetery. The BBC reports that Americans are becoming weary of staying at home. My husband brought to my attention the American attitude that they have a constitutional right to freedom. (In the same way that the Constitution gives them the “right” to bear arms.) Some say the state has no right to dictate to them about Covid19 because of this. I haven't come across much talk of public duty. One American explained to me once that many Americans take the view that they can do as they please. For example, she said, if a road sign prohibits parking, they will park 10 feet away, saying that there is no sign there. Presumably this explains why one can see No Parking signs every few feet over long distances!

Colleagues and people here generally are friendly, though. There are some who are genuinely concerned for the well-being of others and who do their best. This makes a big difference. Several people we know are as aghast at the social, legal and political system here as we are. But I do detect a resignation to it; there doesn't seem to be any feeling that they might try to change things, and I believe it's because they feel faced with a political fait accompli. They have two choices during presidential elections and often they feel one candidate is no better than the other.

Good news: the local wholefood shop has begun grocery deliveries, so we have another source of food. I have missed it, as they sell much fresh and organic produce.

We walked this evening at dusk at a local golf course. At first, I thought we might have to go home, because there were still many people there. Some back at playing golf, although I'm confused as to whether the clubs are officially open. In the end we found a deserted place to spend a quarter of an hour. Today was a beautiful day. The climate here is drier than at home and the sunshine hours are high. The western sky was tinged, suggesting another lovely day tomorrow. Yet it is still cool, which suits me, although I know there are some people who can't wait for the summer weather.

29 deaths in the county overnight last night. 222 confirmed cases in our town.

3rd May 2020

The weather has turned from the coldest spring my friend could ever remember to the 70s (Farenheit here), although there is a chilly breeze. The sky is watery blue behind bright lime leaves as I wait for a grocery delivery. A note on the garage door asks them to ring the back doorbell. So many people walk past and around our house now that I fear someone will steal the goods or the tip to the delivery person, if I leave the garage open. It's possible to organise the delivery so there will be no contact with the driver. We have no small notes left, so we are using cheques (“checks” here). Tips are important because until recently the minimum wage has been only $7.25 since 2009. In December 2019 it was increased to $11.80.

There is a drive right round our house, with communal grounds around and behind, so we live on a kind of private part-roundabout. I frequently feel a tinge of annoyance when people drive out of the entry and in through the exit, though both are clearly marked. We fear an accident one day because one part is narrow, with reduced visibility. I also feel an irrational frustration when I find I can't throw the ball for the dog in “my own back garden” without being surprised by a pedestrian or cyclist. But of course, it isn't my own, so my irritation is unfounded.

29 deaths in the county last night (population 1.4m). 224 confirmed cases in our town.

4th May

Coffee time with my husband (when we can manage it) is my favourite time of the day. We do a cryptic crossword. Today it was a rather hurried affair because he had a Zoom meeting and I had online Tai Chi at 11. I'd already done 30 minutes online cardio. I'd brought some groceries in from the garage, ready to be disinfected. And it takes me about an hour each day to attend to morning emails and Facebook messages and to read the BBC news.

It's a bright day. Someone said it's 75 degrees (F). Personally, I prefer freezing, brittle, blue-and-snow days, trudging in my moonboots through bare woods in pale sunshine.

But there is no humidity yet, so the warmth is easy enough. I'm hoping to hear from a friend about resuming our town's climate group. We'd only just begun before all this happened, and I have left it until now because people have been concentrating on the radical changes in their lives, and I thought most would find it too difficult to cope with the stresses of climate change as well. But people are now talking about preparing to head back towards “normal” and it's a good time to ask people perhaps to consider what

our new normal should be.

It had been quite a big undertaking to get the group off the ground, and the meetings hadn't been particularly well attended, but there had been a committed core of about 8, and the Facebook group attracted 167 people. So perhaps that should be our focus.

Our plans to give presentations and to man information tables at farmers' markets etc will of course not come to fruition in the near future.

I am typing this in the gap between Tai Chi and online choir at 1230. The rest of the day holds some boring household and admin chores. Also planning a live online cardio class at 9pm and a very late night, as I will stay up until midnight to try to secure a supermarket delivery slot in a couple of weeks' time. I'll already have tried to book one for my brother in the UK at 7pm US time (midnight UK time). I might sneak in a bit of study - halfway though a Harvard course on health and climate change. I am finding it rather disappointing, but I have that kind of personality that wants to finish things started.

No Covid figures out yet until 2.30.

7th May

I attended a National Landlord Association webinar this morning. Also spent a couple of hours trying to work out the legal situation regarding our empty flat, should there be a leak, for instance. It's a while since my tenant left for his home and family. He still plans to return when he can.

The New York Times posited today the theory that Americans are becoming resigned to the 1500-2000 deaths per day from Covid19. After all, they accept almost 100 deaths per day from guns. It makes sense that it might be happening this way.

“For Dr. Megan Ranney, an emergency physician and Brown University professor who works on gun violence prevention, the dynamics of the lockdown protesters are familiar.

“This group has moved the reopening debate from a conversation about health and science to a conversation about liberty. They’ve redefined the debate so it’s no longer about weighing risks and benefits and instead it’s this politicized narrative. It’s like taking a nuanced conversation about gun injury and turning it into an argument about gun rights. It shuts the conversation down.”

It does make me even more uneasy about living here. I've said before that it's a savage country. I call it a “monkey mentality”. I've been more concerned about being held at gunpoint for our food or for cash than I have about running out of food – or toilet rolls! Not that I lose sleep over it. But this somehow seems to make this society even more sinister. I am wondering whether we should just go home as soon as we can. We have been becoming increasingly weary of this place. We could retire early.

8th May

Great clouds of candy floss have sprung up around the grounds – cherry trees - and clumps of dark irises that, from a distance, look to my poor eyesight like strange little birds clinging to the tops of the long stems.

The dog has asked to come up on my knee as I work on my computer. A waft of cut grass drifts up from his paws. So much better than yesterday when he came in smelling somewhat of skunk. He'd has his head in a bush or something. If he'd been sprayed, he wouldn't have been able to come inside until I'd washed him. Sometimes the stench will travel half a mile. You avoid road-kills because if your tyres touch it, you have to wash them.

It's a day off apart from a short climate group meeting. We're allowed to travel, and we thought we would drive to a local state park to let the dog run, depending on how many people and dogs were around and whether we'd be able to steer clear of them. I prefer to stay much, much further away from people than 6 feet, and I never let the dog get anywhere near another one. At the beach there are no surfaces to touch and we disinfect the car regularly.

13th May

VE Day last week was emotional.

At choir we sang wartime Vera Lynn songs and I thought of my mother being very excited to be living in London, actually present in the real Berkeley Square mentioned in the song. She was a PA in the BBC, typing out reports from correspondents in war zones. She would take a reel out of a cylinder to play it and would be able to hear the bombs in the background behind the reporter. She would talk about the strict codes of conduct at the BBC, and Hitler's doodlebugs. After a while she was transferred to another part of the country.

Of course, I also thought of my father, packed off in a troop ship at age 19, not knowing where in the world he was heading. I remember him telling of their relief when, instead of turning left at the bottom of Spain (which would have meant the volatile Suez) they carried on. Later they arrived in India. At 21 he was promoted to Captain and, after the war, was responsible for directing men who were searching for land mines in agricultural land.

I lost both my parents some time ago and miss them terribly, but I am glad they are not dealing with this pandemic. They went through enough.

I also found VE Day difficult because I was missing home, seeing bunting and hearing people celebrating. Nothing was apparent here. I did listen to the Queen; that seemed like a link to my parents, she is being of the same generation and having experienced something of the same things.

It's been cold again – a few days ago we had snow: here in the south of the state! It isn't even New England, which was a very cold area – it went down to -23C one night there. But today is beautifully sunny and, although the cherry blossom has all but gone, we have some gorgeous, full trees, including one type that looks like some kind of acer.

We miss having maples. In New England I bought my husband a maple syrup kit: buckets and taps. He would knock the taps into the trees, and nails for the buckets underneath, when the nights were below freezing and the days were warm. Trees are incredible things. The conditions had to be just right for the watery sap to flow and then the buckets would overflow. He would set up the gas BBQ in the garage and boil it for hours. It always had a special taste. Lack of home-made syrup notwithstanding, we do very well and are thankful to be healthy and well fed.

Time for a piece of toast. Home-made bread as usual, although I have no idea where our next batch of flour will come from, as it is like gold dust. We have enough for about 2 weeks, so very fortunate.

Yesterday, county deaths overnight were 20, and almost 300 confirmed cases in our town.

17th May

My word! I've found organic flour being sold in sacks online. I'd been trying to avoid online buying, and before the pandemic was quite successful, but all that has gone out of the window, I'm ashamed to say. So , I have ordered some things which have been impossible to find in the usual supermarket delivery – including flour in sacks. We read that one reason for the shortage is the packaging; so much of it is sold in bulk to businesses, and only a certain amount is packaged in small packets. But bulk is ideal for us as we eat so much bread. And it will last us several weeks, so probably less environmentally detrimental in the long run.

Two days ago, we had an emergency with the dog's eye so rang the vet and got an appointment in the afternoon. Panic: make mask, fail, try another pattern, succeed, get food for us and dog ready in case we have to go far for specialist, find sunscreen and hat (previous skin cancer), sanitiser, write out list of questions to send in to vet, find prior medical records about eye, even though vet has them already. Don't forget loo before leaving. Get 'phone numbers. Where is 'phone?

They were very efficient, asking us to ring when we reached their car park, and calling us to the door when they were ready for us. They put their own lead on him and took him in and we waited in the car for the ve t to call us from the exam room. She referred us to a 24-hour emergency place about 20 minutes away. We had plenty of petrol because we make sure we have enough for any such emergency.

In the end, we were given eye drops in an attempt to prevent his having to lose the eye, and the next fortnight will tell what the long-term prognosis is for our beautiful, intelligent, communicative, perceptive, funny, well-behaved boy. It's very upsetting. But better than his having to be in severe pain.

That said, it was at the point when we arrived at the emergency vet that the real stress started. Masked staff were wandering around the car park, handing out registration forms on clip boards to unmasked customers with no sign of sanitiser or distancing, leaning over unmasked customers through the windows of their otherwise closed cars, stroking animals all over and at length, holding them to their chests, sitting on blankets on the grass close to customers who had evidently come to visit their hospitalised pets. Unmasked customers and dogs were standing around and walking past each other at close quarters, sitting in cars closely parked, with windows open. We had to wait about 2 hours in all – of itself not surprising – but as our car's air conditioning isn't working, we had to stand outside and continually dodge people. The payment was not taken over the 'phone as it had been at our usual vet's, but the card was taken away and then handed back to us. The very final exchange was between a young woman who was clearly trying to keep away from me, but she was the only one.

We had rubbing alcohol and wipes in car to sanitise card and hands. On returning home, our modus operandi was: husband went in, stripped every stitch from him and put it all in the washing machine; thence went straight to his shower. I put on wellies previously left in utility room with soap and led dog out of car straight to garden hosepipe, again left out ready, and soap-washed dog. Let dog into house, stripped in utility room, put everything including collar and lead into washing machine, carefully towelled down dog briefly, left him for husband to dry with hairdryer, went to my shower. Puddles everywhere. Dog very happy. We left everything we could in the car to allow the virus to die and will retrieve it all in a few days' time.

I don't think I washed the dog thoroughly enough though, in hindsight, because I didn't want him to have to be cold for long. I've been worrying ever since. It is quite possible he came out of the vet's covered in Covid. Now we have to decide: do we complain? What if they have to operate on the dog – will they look after him less well if we do? Shall we even go back there for the 2-week appointment we made? We will have to go somewhere. Should we find another, more sanitary, place?

My husband has just brought me a cheque from none other than Donald Trump himself. The promised $2400. It came in yesterday's mail which has been in the porch for 24 hours before being opened. I am very surprised. I didn't think we would see it, especially this quickly. If I had the vote in this country, I would take it to be an attempted bribe. Barring an emergency, we will give it away.

Two nights ago, 12 deaths overnight. But yesterday 24.

19th May

It's a terrible thing to be happy about 6 deaths. But what I'm really celebrating is the fact that it's 6 and not 60 since yesterday. How many of those could have been avoided if people had been more careful?

20th May

At 6.a.m. the birds are at it hammer and tongs. What are they saying I wonder? Sparrows, American robins, red cardinals, and a woodpecker rattling away in the canopy. Where we last lived, a woodpecker had taken a liking to our house. Part of one side was riddled with holes. A daily ritual for some weeks went: knock knock tap tap tap knock, “That wretched bird!” I'd exclaim, banging on the wall from inside and, when it would keep returning, I'd run out, yelling and waving at it. It, in turn, would be remonstrating as it flew away. Cheek!

(Cardinal - not my photo.)

Walking the dog at this hour is quiet and the air is fresh, and heavy with honeysuckle. I hear the rush of the main road in the distance, as busy as it ever was. The trees are in full leaf now, bright and strong, green and copper.

This week it's time to complete our UK tax returns, which have arrived in the post.

30th May

Today began dull and close but became a hot, very bright day, the first of its kind after strange cold days unlike the usual temperatures in this part of the country. Great for drying washing, but quite tiring.

This evening I saw the osprey that has been living at the top of a local mobile 'phone mast.

With the window open I'm more aware of the skies, now travelled more than they have been in weeks. I can't say I'd want to be in a 'plane today. In fact, other than for our final return to the UK, I'd rather never fly again. We had already decided not to return this year, to save carbon emissions, and abandoned our plans to travel widely after retirement. Now the thought of being cooped up in a metal tube with other peop le's germs is unappealing. And I am convinced that, should I live to my 80s as my parents did, this will by no means be the last pandemic I shall see.

We didn't succumb to the virus following our first visit to the emergency vet a fortnight ago. (Americans don't know what a 'fortnight' is, incidentally.) Yesterday we went again, but I felt there was less contact with the staff and I knew how to avoid people, and so was less anxious. Back at the house, I followed the same ritual as last time, though. The dog appears to be responding well to medication and we are hopeful we can avoid surgery. We have to go back in 2-3 months. Strange, as there is a lot of difference between 2 and 3 months.

Driving through our town yesterday I counted 12 people out and about without masks. The Governor began Phase 1 of opening up the state on Wednesday. Fauci says it is too early to open the country. No -one much seems to be listening to him. People seem to have forgotten that the virus is still very much with us.

13 deaths in our county since yesterday.

1st June

The Great British Home Chorus is cancelled tomorrow as part of Blackout Tuesday – a response to the race riots in the USA, the worst since the 60s it seems. I asked my husband (H) today if I was callous, because I haven't read or thought that much about them. It isn't that I don't care. I do care deeply. But I'm not sure I can face the anger within me, on top of the anger I feel about our wanton headlong rush into climate Armageddon. Then, there will be suffering, the like of which this earth has never seen, and all these desperate events this week will be miniscule in comparison.

And I don't have much patience about whether we say that black, or white, or all lives matter. It's all words: black deaths by murderous police have occurred time and time again, and then we have our protests and vigils and fine speeches outside Town Halls, and then nothing changes and it all happens again.

The bi-partisan political system gives ordinary people no confidence that they have any voice at all - friends so often sigh in resignation - and fear was woven into the weft and warp of this society centuries ago. And this human being, someone's Daddy, has been tortured and cut down at a time when people are fed up of being cooped up, run ragged by worry about their livelihoods (40m unemployed now), and are simply at the end of their tether.

So boom!

On a lighter note, the dentist can see me on Wednesday for a minor emergency, which I've been putting off because of the virus. The receptionist will be happy if I ring them from the car park when I arrive. I am anxious about it, but grateful to be have the services of a dentist, and I dare say my return home will be the usual strip-in-mudroom and straight-to-shower routine.

I now have an origami mask I made from a HEPA vacuum filter sold specifically as suitable for making masks.

4th June

OK. It's got at me. I am here in tears watching Curtis Hayes hitting the nail on the head “ … when something becomes repetitive, the power behind it, it dwindles down ...”

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-52915973/curtis-hayes-man-behind-the-protest-plea-that- moved-america

There is a lot of polarised bickering amongst friends and acquaintances here. The area is strongly republican. One problem is the personality-bashing. US Church leaders have strongly criticised Trump for using an Episcopal church as a backdrop for a photo shoot of him carrying a bible. Unfortunately, some community leaders have a habit of using exaggerated language to criticise him but spend little time on reasoned debate about his policies. One example is the bishop, who already has a reputation for calling

him rude names such as “asshole”. Curious behaviour from someone who professes to abide by a moral code. Of course, anything reasonable he might now utter is bitterly dismissed by republicans.

So far, I haven't come across anyone calling for all parties to get together to try to resolve this huge mess.

Yesterday, walking the dog, my husband came across this fellow - about 15” long:

FB friends have warned:

“The Snapping turtle is no joke. His head/neck articulates and reaches around to his back. As indicated above, please be cautious with the dog as they are dangerous if they feel unsafe.”

“That is a common snapping turtle (chelydra serpentina) normally docile unless trapped or provoked. Came out of the brackish water and are very common on Long Island. Sometimes cooked and make excellent soup! Good luck with your next barbecue!”

My trip to the dentist went all right. The dentist was of course wearing a mask but also a plastic shield. He was very fed up and, like me, waiting for the second wave. He hopes it very much won't be worse than the first. I said, “Well at least now we know a lot more.” He appeared perplexed. “Well,” I said, “as individuals. I mean, I for one, know a lot more about the virus than I did in January.” “That's because you're smart,” he replied. “Most people are stupid.” Oh dear.

During my 50-minute round trip there, I saw scores of people walking, cycling, having a party in a pub garden, sitting at a cafe table on the pavement. Americans in our experience travel by car. If they do exercise, it's at the gym. But nowadays, there are many more people out and about than there ever were before the pandemic. In one sense, that's great. But how many were wearing masks? I counted 8.

One restaurant has reopened as a food lorry (“truck”).

Tuesday daily death toll was 3! But 6 yesterday.

10th June

I will soon need a repeat prescription (“refill”) of a drug without which I will die, which is classed as a supplement in the UK, and which I have been taking for 26 years.

The company who send it to me by post tell me the GP refuses to authorise because I have not seen him for 6 months.

[The phrase “short and curlies” springs to mind.]

Telephone GP receptionist:

Me: I am due for an annual physical, for which insurers pay 100% of cost. But I don't want to go into the surgery (“doctors office”) because I am anxious about contact with people. So, I would like the doctor to refill this prescription without my coming in.

R: You must see the doctor, but if you don't want to come in, you can have a tele-consultation. But we are taking all precautions for annual physicals now, doing this that and the other, (sales pitch blah). I can get you an appointment next week because we have a lot of availability.

Me: I will book this provisionally, but I would like to know how much a tele-consultation will cost please.

R: I don't know. It depends on your insurance company.

Me: Well the doctor must know how much the total bill will be for the consultation. When I know that, I can work out how much I will have to pay and how much the insurers will pay.

R: At the moment, because of Covid, most insurers are paying 100% of the cost if you have a telemedicine consultation (like Zoom).

Me: Thank you. I will talk to my insurer.

Telephone insurer.

I: At present, tele-consultations are being charged at exactly the same rate as in-person ones. That is, they are not free of charge.

Me: My doctor is absurd. I would like to change. Would that be acceptable? If so, and if I went for the annual physical to the new doctor, would I be charged?

I: Acceptable, and no charge. Except … they might charge you a New Patient fee.

Me: How much would that be?

I: Depends on the doctor, but you have already used up all your deductible for 2020, and so now we would cover you for 80%.

[The policy states that I have to pay the first $2700 per calendar year (“deductible”) of all bills except some preventative treatments. After that the insurers will pay 80% and I pay a “co-pay” of 20%. Once I have paid $4200 (”out of pocket limit”), the insurers pay 100%.]

Ring GP again.

Me: The insurers will not pay for a tele-consultation. So how much would the charge be please?

R: Let me look at your records. Last time you came in December for a prescription for a strong painkiller. So, the charge will be $108.

Me: Thank you. I will discuss with my husband.

[Husbands can be useful on occasion.]

Husband looks up the account and tells me that, last time, the 5-min consultation for the painkiller was $165.

Telephone GP.

Me: My last similar consultation cost me $165.

R: Ah well I was trying to make it easier for you this time, so you wouldn't have to worry about the money.

Me: Thank you very much. So, to clarify, the total bill for a tele-consultation will be $108?

R: Yes. Well, that might be wrong. It depends on how the “biller” bills it.

Me: Oh.

R: I will call the biller tomorrow and let you know. I wouldn't want to give you wrong information.

Me: Thank you I will look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

[Somebody, get me a brandy.]

Last night 2 deaths in our county. Total number 1941.

15th June

Long gap since last entry, because we are packing up to move. We don't know where to or when. We don't know the salary. If there is a gap between jobs, we will have to pay about $1200 per month in health insurance.

This wasn't the plan.

2 years ago, the HR woman of my husband's organisation offered him 4 years' work, saying they were always short of people in his line. Our assignments are always temporary ones for 12-24 months. That's the nature of the job, so the fact that she could promise 4 years' work was a significant reason for us to come here to NY state. But in February before the pandemic hit here, she said H's current assignment would end around September this year but there was nothing new available until Jan 2021.

So, he asked her to submit his details to the organisation's network of HR people. Within 24 hours she offered him a new assignment which he accepted, and she did not submit his details to the network.

As there was no subsequent reference to the new work, H enquired about it some weeks ago and was told it was indeed still happening. He enquired again 2 weeks ago, to be told the deal was off.

So, he has enquired in several places and applied for a job within the same organisation, as our pension is vested in them, different region.

Suddenly last week, the HR woman here asked him if he would consider an extra “3 or 6 months” here. He told her of his application and said that, as things are so uncertain, he couldn't commit himself. [How can we know that anything she offers from now on will in fact materialise? We will stay if we don't find something else, but we will not pass up the chance of a full-time job in Maine.]

So, I have been spitting tacks. But we have each other and we are well so far, and we have always been very fortunate. There are so many others suffering far worse injustices and disrespect, poor things. I try to keep it in perspective, though it's hard not to give the organisation a piece of my mind! We still laugh about things. The dog helps a lot, and so does the nice sunshine and music and chocolate.

7 dead since yesterday.

16th June

It's a while since we last saw this local marina. By now it will be filled with little boats and, fiddling and tinkering around on the jetties, will be people many of whom who come out to this part of the state from New York City.

Our state is now in “Stage 2” of the opening up. This means that landlords of residential property are permitted to conduct viewings for potential tenants.

Our employer, who owns our house, is trying to force us to allow strangers to walk round our home, into our bathrooms, bedroom, kitchen. We know that

one at least will be travelling through 3 airports to come to our town for a job interview in this place. We were given no choice, even as to the date and time. We simply received a directive. We realise people want to see the house, but this has never before happened while a deadly plague was roaming the earth.

The state guidelines state that landlords are permitted to do in-person viewings, if they wear masks and stay 6 foot apart. They are also required to disinfect the premises afterwards. Tenants are not allowed to be present. However, the guidelines say in-person viewings, though permitted, are discouraged, and that if possible, virtual viewings should take place. Those words are given the least priority, appearing at the end of the section.

I don't know if these rules apply to employers who provide tied accommodation for their employees.

We are opposing the rudeness and unfairness and have told the employer that H has a history of serious chest illness. The employer's committee is reconsidering it.

If it goes ahead and H contracts Covid as a result, I want the option to sue the organisation. I haven't read much about anyone else doing so and have no idea if a claim would be likely to succeed. As laws are weighted here in favour of employers, I doubt it. But, although I had decided to accompany the viewings (at a 6-foot distance) and bugger the employer who is insisting that I should not, I am not now sure. If I break the rules, any slim chance I might have had might be wrecked. I dare say there would be a difficulty in proving causation.

https://www.dailypress.com/business/ct-biz-coronavirus-liability-waivers-20200616- pk2mcrbxyjgzxctqy63toz54hu-story.html

Colleagues in other parts of the organisation are appalled at the employer.

I am working out a way to cover as much as I can with dust sheets, how to disinfect as much as I can, and how to avoid the possibility of breathing in aerosols that can hang in the air for 3 hours afterwards.

If we didn't need the income, I'd be on a 'plane back home before you could say “ignorant and uncivilized”.

2 dead since yesterday.

17th June

No word from the employer about house tours, although they emailed about something else.

Read a more recent study today which indicates that aerosols can linger in air for up to 12 hours. So, we will sleep in the car after any house tours.

This morning at coffee I shared with H projected income figures for situation if we make a fuss, therefore getting no reference from employer and thus no more work after September. In fact, we could just about manage to go home and live OK until H receives various pensions in several months' time, if my brother were willing to let us live in his tiny second home at a deferred rent, until we could pay him back. I am sure he would.

H's colleague has been also messed about by HR woman regarding future work, since long before the pandemic. And yesterday H received a call from a colleague in distress elsewhere in the organisation. She has been given 10 weeks to get out of her job and therefore her home (tied accommodation), pension and health insurance. We know of this kind of treatment in the past elsewhere so, although desperately sorry for the colleague, we are not entirely surprised.

22 June

This diary is awfully boring. That's because my life is consumed mostly with dealing with the house tours. And finding another job.

We are swimming in boxes.

I think I will accompany the house tours. I couldn't bear the stress of suing. Just dealing with these people is stressful enough.

There was no further contact from employers but HR woman 'phoned H to ask if we would allow tours if visitors were gowned and wore N95 masks, as potential visitors are not happy with virtual tours. H wrote back with a list of conditions on which we would reluctantly allow the tours. So, it looks as though there is a deal. We assumed the employers' decision was that there should be in-person tours.

Someone else from the employers has since told us that she was at the committee meeting where the house tours were discussed. She left the meeting with the understanding that candidates would be told the tours would be virtual. She says it is very unfair that they have been imposed on us. She has suggested that perhaps the candidates were not actually offered house tours after all.

She also reported to us that there is an edict from on high that there will be no further employee movements in this region for 2 years. That seems extraordinary to us. If that is the case, and if they fail to appoint a permanent person in this area, it's likely we will be asked to stay for the duration. We will not, if we can possibly help it. We cannot trust either the immediate employer or the regional HR department. As soon as we find a suitable job elsewhere, we are out of here.

Read this morning that rules in Wales are being changed to allow estate agents to conduct viewings in empty properties and that tenants can move in after place has been empty for 72 hours. I don't think our sleeping in the car is as ridiculous as it might seem.

On another tack, we don't hear much sound from outside the house now because of the rush and rumble of the air conditioners. The last two days have been hot and humid. There is more air traffic than there was a few weeks ago and there are always cars, cyclists, runners and pedestrians going past in a way that never happened before the pandemic, still. Sometimes a motorbike explodes on the ear. The birds are still happily chirping away, and, in the distance, we might hear the odd quack or squawk. But these only when we are outside with the dog. Even that is now minimised because there are large black insects flying around, even during the day, ready to inject venom into our arms and faces, causing large welts that need steroid anti-itch treatment.

1 death last night. 1 too many, but it's still going in the right direction.

23rd June

This morning I had finished all my jobs in the garage by 7am. After that it would have been too hot and humid. It's like breathing through gauze, and merely standing outside yesterday made me break out in a sweat. It isn't really that hot – about 30C - but the humidity makes every step an effort. Down south it's worse, which is one reason why we aren't looking for work there.

I forgot to say: some weeks ago, we received this missive from the President. I wonder: should I frame it?

Today I made more masks out of HEPA filters for vacuums. We don't trust that the strangers will have been properly equipped for the house tours. I hope I will be pleasantly surprised.

It seems as though our climate group will join 350.org, though at present we all seem to have too much on to make much headway with campaigning. What with all the stress of our personal situation, I'm finding it near impossible to dredge up the motivation. It is always an uphill struggle here at the best of

times. I think next week I will take a day off, and after that might feel refreshed. There is still a lot to do, however, to prepare to move. We would like to be ready to go at the drop of a hat.

No news from Maine. But we are looking at other places and there might be work in Newark. Unfortunately, the employer organisation has, in some regions across the country, suspended all employee movements, so the pool of jobs has become significantly restricted. Also, as things improve in this state, they are getting worse in some of the states we might move into.

29th June

For the first time, no new deaths from Covid in our county! 1.4 million population and total of 197 9 deaths so far.

The house tours were OK. The people were properly equipped. I asked one if he had been offered a virtual tour and he said it had been mentioned but he couldn't remember what had been said. I said we understood that he would want to see the place and thanked him for donning the PPE. He was fine about it. I don't think a firm offer of a virtual tour was made. I think the employer skirted around it.

After the Saturday session we stayed out all day and made lunch on the BBQ in the back garden. We had tea-making facilities in the garage. We were too tired to go far and so spent the day watching the water on different parts of the coast, talking, looking up areas where we might look further for jobs, doing crosswords. There weren't too many people around because there was quite a bit of rain. A double rainbow appeared, and later a crimson velvet sunset through the trees at the back of our house while we were sitting in the car outside the garage. A policewoman drove in and out of the public driveway round the house and must have thought we were waiting for a locksmith. She didn't come and question us.

We returned home at 9pm and I cleaned for 2 hours. By the end of it, it felt as though my insides were bruised, and I felt sick. My eyes would barely stay open. But I felt reasonably happy the place was safe. Or at least the part I had disinfected. I still have more to do.

I'd used all the bedding we had, and most of our towels, as dustsheets and have washed quite a lot of them now. Yesterday and today were good drying days. Not too humid, and a fair breeze.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the recliner, binge-watching The Crown, and fell asleep several times. H was exhausted too and slept a long time in the chair. We are trying to be positive and making chocolate hummus does help.

I never did hear back from the woman at the doctor's surgery with the price of a tele-consultation, but then I found an extra bottle of tablets which I didn't know I had. So, I will wait a bit longer; by the time I really need more, we might not be living here anymore.

H is in conversation with Vermont and other parts of New England including a different part of his job, the central region of NY state, and today he had an invitation from the Virginia region to have a telepho ne conversation next week. Virginia would be unbearable in the summer, but we will hopefully be only one more summer in this frightful country. I would like to go to Vermont. We love Vermont. But the advantage of Virginia, apart from the fact that there seem to be quite a few options, is that the money is much better. All these places have pros and cons. The money isn't everything to us, though extra might enable us to have a nicer retirement house. But at this stage, the important thing is health, and nothing will induce me to go and live in a place where people are living on top of each other as they do in New York City.

NY state is now imposing quarantine on incomers from several other states – so far, not states to which we would like to apply for a job. We keep an eye on the list as it expands. As the November election approaches and the plague worsens in some areas, it seems as though the president is talking about sending out another bribe in the form of a cheque to his “fellow Americans” which might include us again. Our payment is in our deposit account, waiting until we know we will have a livelihood. Assuming we do, I would like to give it away to someone in the UK.

Huskie sledge-riding in Vermont

We are both looking forward very much to living in our own place after we return to the UK. We've spent the last 35 years living in tied accommodation, and it will be lovely to do what we would like with our own house. And I can't wait to get home.

4th July

Yesterday I went for a Covid test because the night before I had had a sore throat and cough.

I'm fairly confident that they were caused by hay fever, and the throat had gone by lunchtime, but in the circumstances, I thought I should get checked to be absolutely sure. I am spending most of my time in the study and slept in the recliner here last night. H is leaving food for me outside the study door. When I do emerge, I wear a mask.

There would be a risk to H from the aerosols, if I do have the bug, but there is nowhere else that either H or I can go. So, this is the best we can do, along with washing hands and disinfecting surfaces.

I have to wait 4 days for the result, so have changed my packing plans for moving and instead will be going through old computers and backing up, which at some point I'd have had to do before getting rid of them. This morning I did some cardio exercise outside before it got too hot and will be doing more during the day in my study, which has a reasonably functional air con unit in the window.

Recently we've been seeing a pair of opossums in the grounds round the house. I don't much like their tails but otherwise am very glad to see them because they eat ticks at a rate of up to 1000 a day.

There is also a family of deer wandering around. Although they're very beautiful, I don't like to encourage them because they are one of the worst animals for carrying and dropping ticks.

In spring and autumn, ticks appear in epic numbers. I have often called it an unacknowledged pandemic because the diseases they transmit cause a lot of suffering – people sometimes die – and huge economic loss, right across the eastern side of this country, and the politicians won't address the problem. I put that down partly to the fact that there is no NHS and so not the same incentive to promote public health.

When we first came to this country, it was the one single thing that affected our lives the most, not because we ever became ill, although we have had them crawling on us, but because our young high-energy-breed dog desperately needed at least one hour's walk a day and Connecticut state was exceedingly dog - unfriendly. I would say almost “dog-aggressive”. There were very few places indeed where dogs were allowed, except the dog parks, which were far too small and didn't satisfy his programmed need to roam.

On average I would be told off, mostly by men, twice a year for something I was or wasn't doing with the dog. But it had to be done; otherwise he would chew the furniture, and anyway it would have been unfair to deprive him. One vet described dogs as “automatic tick-delivery systems”. Had I known, I probably would have urged H not to bring him with us. This was a foster dog and had almost died during the 10 months he was with us in the UK, so we were particularly attached to him. We reversed a previous decision and agreed that he should come with us. Our American employers-to-be had encouraged us to do so but I had no idea that it would cause such problems. On a couple of occasions after walks I found 20-30 ticks on him.

Now, things are easier because he is older and not so needy, and at present we are throwing balls for him round the grounds because there are too many people out and about to take him to our usual haunts. But he might still pick up a tick or two if there are deer roaming around.

Having said all that, he has been a joy and we wouldn't be without him. Also, I have often been very glad to have a dog, especially where we used to live, which was a town with a high incidence of addiction, mental illness, and poverty. Those things combined with the already endemic violence in this country would have made me feel uneasy without him. We don't have a gun. If we did, I wouldn't know what to do with it.

5th July

All yesterday afternoon, the air was strafed and pockmarked with small explosions. By the evening, it was riddled with rat-a-tat and the odd shower of lights. Facebook this morning reported death and injuries caused to wildlife because of the celebratory noises. Someone said there were many more fireworks this year than usual. In fact, private fireworks are not legal in this state, but many people flout that law.

This afternoon someone we know brought her granddaughter to sing Yankee Doodle outside our house on the front lawn. The idea was to cheer us up. She dressed up as “Yankee Doodle”, waving a large poster “The British Are Here!” and dressed her granddaughter as the Statue of Liberty. It was very thoughtful of her and must have taken quite some effort especially as it's hot today.

Each year I muse on the custom. “Land of the Free”. Whose “Liberty”? As at Thanksgiving, I feel anger at the thought of celebrating the subjugation of indigenous peoples, and the land and environment, and I wonder if it could ever be considered acceptable and even worthy of celebration. But probably every country on earth has been invaded at one time or another. Few of us are anything but hybrids. So how long does the taint last? Certainly, we have long memories in Wales. And in Ireland.

So, as I laughed and cheered and clapped at our friend and her granddaughter singing away under the tree, I felt the guilt of hypocrisy.

11th July

This week we received an email from the employer, purporting to give us 3 weeks’ notice of eviction. The reason given was that the person taking over this assignment would be starting work here on 1st September and that time would be needed to do work on the house. “So, we hope you have been planning accordingly to pack and prepare.”

Whilst being very glad that work will be done on it (it was leaking when we arrived, although that was later fixed) we were astonished and dismayed, as we had been told that efforts would be made to accommodate our timetable for finding another job, as well as the timetable of the incomer.

We contacted a lawyer friend for advice and, next day, H managed to have a telephone conversation with the regional manager of the organisation. In fairness, the manager was horrified. He undertook to talk to the appropriate people, adding that there was no rush. Although the aim is 1st September, who knew whether it would be possible, given the uncertain times, and he would work on finding us a new assignment. He wanted H to remain within the region and said some very nice things about him, although if he needed a reference to go elsewhere, he would be willing to give that. He said to leave the situation with him.

In the meantime, we've been made two offers of sanctuary by different friends, which makes us feel extremely fortunate, and we are very grateful indeed for such generosity. But we can't take them up on it because we might pass the virus to them – or vice versa – and the dog has been known to pee in buildings other than our home! And at the best of times it would be an imposition.

Although we have been very wary of the HR woman, the conversation with the regional manager has given us more confidence, and if there is no job anywhere else, and a suitable one comes up here, we probably will have to take it. But if it is in an area where people are living cheek-by-jowl such as for instance Brooklyn, NYC, we won't go there. The death toll in NYC has been many times greater than anywhere else in the country.

So guarded sighs of relief all round, although we aren't relaxing our job search and I am circumspect because I don't trust any one of them. This week we widened our search to places within a two-day drive from here, so we would have to stay in only one hotel on the way. I gather the more expensive hotels are fumigating (“fogging”) guest rooms between occupants. Registration and room access are possible via mobile 'phone. These places include Virginia, Kentucky and Indiana. Unfortunately, the number of states now subjected to quarantine rules by NY state is increasing, indicating that if we travel in certain directions, we will be heading straight for virus-nests again.

Several HR people from other states have replied saying there are no assignments available, others have ignored H, and some have said it would be useful to have a conversation about it, but nothing has since happened. H has left one of these people three messages in different places during the last fortnight, with no response.

We've now decided to look for something part-time as well as searching for full-time. If the employer will pay the health insurance and provide accommodation, we could manage, especially if we stayed in the USA a little longer than planned.

We still talk about going home, but now that we have so little of our working lives left, we would like to try to work long enough here to qualify for the state pension, since H's UK state pension will be reduced.

The thought of remaining here much longer is, I have to confess, rather depressing, but I shouldn't complain. We are so lucky to have options and so many people have suffered badly, much much more than we have. But I'm afflicted by an aching to escape this situation and a loathing of the injustices within this country's culture and systems. And also, I have a “hiraeth”, a longing for home. (Home for me is the UK as a whole.)

I feel no apprehension at the thought of going home for good, even though I know things will have changed. We have been away for 8 years now, although we have gone home fairly regularly.

Home has its flaws. What society doesn't? But they are our flaws! Somehow, they are easier to tolerate than someone else's. And the ones we have encountered in the USA are so dramatic: the obsession with guns in some parts, the lack of a decent welfare system, the ubiquitous disregard for human life. I don't say that there aren't individuals of integrity here; of course - we've had the privilege of knowing some of them. There is exceptional generosity. There are many compassionate, good-hearted individuals struggling themselves against a system they feel powerless to change. Some recognise that their efforts are merely putting sticking plasters over gaping wounds, but still they take trolleys of food and clothing on the 50 -mile train journey to Manhattan to the poor and homeless. But many evils are self-perpetuating and all- encompassing.

It seems to me that the failure to fund the UK NHS adequately in unconscionable. I'd hoped to volunteer to work for it somehow on our return; I don't know if that will still be possible, but I sincerely hope so. Its problems are legion. One day we might die on a trolley in an NHS hospital corridor. That would be a scandal. Having said that, it would be a relative rarity. Here, millions of people can't even afford to go to the GP. I have known a few of them. At home, we might wait for a hip operation for 3 years, but we will have it eventually and won't risk losing everything we have worked for the last 35 years. When my father died, every last detail of his life was attended to in hospital, even when there was no hope left. Here, we know a widow who, when she came to the decision that the hospital should stop feeding her dying husband, was then made to take him home for his final days, because he was no longer being “treated” by them.

At home, I gather that knife crime is on the rise. That is deeply worrying. But a knifer can do much less harm than a villain with a semi-automatic rifle. The carrying of offensive weapons in the UK is forbidden. Americans, however, are not prevented; rather they are encouraged: they have a constitutional “right” to bear arms. Many of them, especially members of the National Rifle Association, ignore the fact that this “right” arose for historical reasons in very different times, for instance, when semi-automatics didn't exist.

At home, I hope we will be living in a quiet rural place. If we were broken into, the assailant would probably not expect us to have a gun and so he'd probably not be armed. Here, it would be the assumption that we would, and therefore far more likely that an intruder would be carrying his own.

Reading material provided at my hairdresser's

An American friend told me of a wedding party she attended. Her cousin was wearing a gun. She asked him why. He said it made him feel more comfortable. I think that's an example of the fear I have noticed in the USA. White Americans I have met are afraid of black people. Or of being broken into. Or of flying to Europe “because of terrorism”. Black and Hispanic people are afraid of white people. One elderly black lady said that some days she didn't go out because she didn't always feel she could face the possibility of being stopped by the police.

Yes, a return home to a quiet, rural retreat is what I dream of, and sometimes I drool over Right Move details of country cottages in North Wales or Shropshire or Herefordshire - beams and stone fireplaces and vegetable gardens and green fields around. Maybe one day we will live like that.

1 death since yesterday.

12th July

The dog has been clingy of late because he sees the moving boxes, and last week, during the fictitious notice of eviction debacle, he gave me a deliberate stare with his “anxious” face. It sounds anthropomorphic but it is a definite configuration of the muscles around the eyebrows. He doesn't show the expression often but when he does, it is unmistakable.

14th July

Email from me to staff member at orthopaedic doctor's surgery:

Dear R, I write to confirm our telephone conversation of yesterday in connection with my bill for my consultation with Dr K on 7th January 2020.

You offered to discuss the matter with Dr K tomorrow and said you would call me tomorrow or Thursday, for which thank you.

I assume that I will not be charged for your discussion with Dr K tomorrow. If that is incorrect, please do not speak to him, as I am not willing to pay him for that.

Notes of our conversation yesterday are as follows: You also told me that my insurers had contacted you, had accepted the bill and that they had taken my complaint seriously. I asked for an explanation of the total charge of $3050. I said that the charge included an unitemised sum of $2700. (This had been described to me by my insurer as “treatment”.) I told you that I had asked advice from a friend who is head of nursing at

a local hospital. Her view was that, as I had received no “intervention”, the bill was excessive and unreasonable. I asked you what “treatment” meant. You said that your reply was based on the notes in front of you and that you had not been present at the consultation. I said that I had a witness at the consultation, namely my husband. You told me that that there must be 5 elements to comprise “treatment”. I asked what they were. Initially you said I had not provided my own x-ray images, but then agreed that I had brought my own images from the hospital. You referred to the $370 new patient fee. I accepted that I was a new patient. (This, however, is not included in the sum of $2700 for treatment; it is additional.) I asked for a further breakdown of the remaining $2700. You said there had been a review of the x-ray images, an examination, assessment and diagnosis by Dr K, and a prescription for physical therapy from him. You described the prescription as “treatment”. I said that Dr K had spent about 5 minutes with me, examining, assessing and diagnosing, and that the review of the images would have taken an extremely short time.

You also said I had received a boot (which I believe you called a “walker”) and this was included in my bill. I replied that I had not received a boot from your office because I had brought my own. My husband is a witness to that, and I can provide evidence from my friend that she donated the boot to me. You said you would check this with the person who provides the boots. As there is already one mistake in the bill, of which the insurers are unaware, I question what others there might be. I consider the fee to be excessive and unreasonable, given the little time Dr K spent with me. in fact, he told me himself that the injury was so minor that he was not going to treat it. Kind regards

16th July

Today H chased the HR woman, who was meant to have talked with the employer regarding their fictitious 3-week notice of eviction. She had not heard from the regional manager and had not contacted the employer.

She said she had nothing to offer us.

17th July

The employer has been acting unethically in various ways, trying to force H to re-open the local office, of which is he manager, by going behind his back, and saying they are not willing to pay anyone who declines to work from there. H cannot understand this, as all tasks are being achieved under the current regime, with his staff working from home.

Today things came to a head after some days ago H had sent employer correspondence re: the office and other things to the regional manager. The manager responded and wiped the floor with the employer. The employer has chosen to interpret the manager's words to suit.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the manger also emailed H to say that we will have to leave this house by 15th August at the latest, and that, if he has not found H a post, he will set us up in accommodation, paying removal expenses and utilities. He would not charge rent.

So, whereas the employers unlawfully sought to give us 3 weeks’ notice of eviction, the regional manager has unlawfully given us 4 weeks from now, plus alternative accommodation. Better of course. However, I had naively assumed that the manager would comply with the law and give us the mandatory 60 days.

The good news (perhaps) is that H at last had a conversation with an HR woman from Virginia, and the re are definite possibilities there of ¾-time posts, with housing and health insurance at least for H. Also, employer pension contributions. Who knows what will come of it, but we would love to go to at least one of the places, which is in beautiful country, and we are very glad that H will have interviews early next week.

For my super-rigid personality type, the last few weeks have been a kind of torture. The roller-coaster of “it isn't OK” to “yes it is” to “no it isn't” ad nauseam has wearied both of us. We are both longing to go somewhere where people are more reasonable. I still wonder if it's us, but colleagues tell us it's not: they are deeply shocked and, indeed, a few of them have been suffering similar cruelties. At its root, I think it is all about power. And we know that “power corrupts”.

13th August 2020

Much water has passed under the bridge.

After the regional manager averted our homelessness, the employer tried to cut off our salary, health and pension benefits as of 15th August, but an appeal to the regional finance manager confirmed that these would continue to be paid until the end of August.

Since then H has been finally offered a ¾ time job at half our current salary in Richmond, Virginia. No housing will be provided, but a housing allowance. The term will be 12 months minimum and will probably continue for another 6 months but that is not certain.

I have been spending much of my time researching rental properties which accept a dog, and which are not close up to others. I am concerned that “central air” cooling in summer will bring in the virus from unmasked people outside. I am dismayed that many landlords issue tenancies for 12 months renewable only by another 12 months. So, it is proving very difficult looking for somewhere to live by 1st September. Many agents and private owners don't even reply to an expression of interest. I think the market there must be saturated.

To cap it all, the car air con in the car has broken down. We tried to go to see the temporary house in NY yesterday, leaving all windows open, but could barely make it round the block. We were concerned the dog might die, and could have left him at home, but by the time we arrived back inside, we were both feeling dizzy and I have had bouts of nausea, despite the house window air con units blasting away.

So, H took the car to the garage yesterday and by the afternoon were contemplating hiring a car for this move, as they were unable to tell exactly what the problem was. They kept it overnight but thank goodness this morning say it ought to be ready by lunchtime. However, we don't know what the cost will be.

Last week my London tenant indicated that he might have to give up the tenancy of our flat. London is currently in tatters and he is holed up in Ireland, where he would be quarantined on his return, if he left the country. After

some discussion we agreed on a 30% rent reduction until such time as he can return to London, assuming he does.

At this point, I would have been grateful for anything. The thought of looking for a new tenant now in the middle of everything was too much.

I am able to continue with the UK mortgage interest payments, but I have stopped all capital repayments for now.

Sometimes it all seems almost overwhelming. I don't know how I would break down in practice, but I have felt on occasions close to some kind of edge. But I am determined that I must be made of sterner stuff than that. After all, as H often says, “It's only money”.

17th August

We have arrived in Queen's. The car air con was fixed for $62. What a relief.

Friday 14th, we came to see the house and, typically, I slept badly, worrying that it wouldn't be large enough for all our possessions. Husband had thought it would be and I ought to have trusted his assessment because he is much better at judging space than I am. The house had been empty a day, and so I wasn't worried about aerosols. But I was worried about the fumes from new paint and varnish. They were very powerful and, by the time we left, I was feeling sick. How would I manage a fortnight or more there? I was feeling pretty ungrateful, as the maintenance manager had pulled out all the stops to get the place ready for us. He has been extremely kind. What a lovely man.

Going home took 2 hours, because of heavy traffic, and I realised how far away the Queen's house is from any natural environment. No wonder people flock to the beaches from the city.

I was surprised and pleased to see that almost everyone in Queen's was wearing a mask. So different from our town further east on Long Island, where days would go by without a mask in sight.

Saturday, the move went OK, more or less. Everything fitted in, even though the place is smaller than we were told. Phew. The company had rules about masks and distancing. Not all of the men wore their masks all the time. But we sat in the car, then locked up quickly and got going just as they did, hoping to beat them to it. We had only a little time at the other end to get things into the fridge, and then we sat in the car again. It was hot, but not as bad as it might have been, and dry, which was a blessing.

By the end of the day the fumes have cleared to some extent, but we didn't leave windows open because we'd planned to return to the old house to sleep on garden furniture cushions belonging to that house. We

had left a kettle etc in the garage so we wouldn't need to enter the house to make supper. We did a lot of searching for rental properties in Richmond and I sent of messages to about 8 of them. I slept for an hour in the car, then 12 hours after the men had left, went in to disinfect, and wash floors. We had a reasonable 6 hours or so on the floor; then it was time to do a last-minute clean, close the house and drop off the keys to the office.

We looked back at the house with a mixture of sadness and relief. Most of our time there had been happy, but the last two months' vicissitudes seemed to have eclipsed it all.

After doing a kerbside grocery pick-up, we headed back to Queen's and, it being a Sunday morning, 16th, we took only an hour. But as we headed deeper into urban ugliness, I felt increasingly miserable, and trapped, with thousands of others in row after row of tiny spaces with barely a blade of grass. I began to feel a bit breathy and panicky and kept telling myself how ridiculous this was, that it would be only for a few weeks, and how terrible it must be for the people who have to live here, how fortunate we were that we didn't have to endure this permanently. I know that most people on the planet have a far more difficult life than I do, and I wish I could make life more equal, take away all injustice, make everyone happy. I know I am excessively privileged - I don't deserve that - and am aware of all the advantages I have, but still the feelings of imprisonment and revulsion would persist, and a few tears rolled. I surreptitiously wiped them away before H could notice.

On arrival at the “new” house, I went in to wash the floors and supposedly disinfect surfaces, but I don't think I was very efficient, being in a half-awake daze by then. H brought things in from the car and we laid large fleeces over our recliner chairs. We found the fumes had lessened, and we opened all the windows, got fans and our super-duper air filter going, H installed an extra air con unit, and we set to, looking for particular labelled boxes.

There was minor damage to several things, some boxes were ripped and broken, and one silly young man had wrapped the nice shelves of the glass-fronted cupboard in very sticky packing tape. I also saw one of them dropping a box – fortunately it contained papers, not my great grandmother's china. I have no idea how any of the fragile things have fared. I now have to make a decision as to whether to find a different removal company or to complain to this one and insist on a different crew for the next move.

This diary will serve as a reminder to me of how careful we had to be in these times of Covid. People are becoming used to it now and are either adapting of ignoring it. To me it seems that everything is a process of adaptation. This morning at 7, I took the dog for a walk along 44th Street and into 46th. These one-way streets were quiet until about 7.30, and then I found myself dodging people. There are signs saying Local Traffic Only.

I was surprised at how inventive residents had been in their attempts to make the environment bearable, even to the extent of putting their own flowerpots on the streets, and planting around the bases of the trees. Very occasionally there is a small garden, but, even where people have only a pocket handkerchief, some have grown what they can.

Where we are staying is relatively quiet. We are very lucky indeed to be in an end-of-terrace, with a small strip of grass round the end of the house and a low hedge. This means that there are no people passing close up to the air con units. In fact, there aren't any passers-by to speak of. We face another terrace and, in between, there is a strip of grass with some trees, bordered by low hedge with access via small gates. Around these two rows of houses there is a small driveway of broken concrete, but enough to park the car temporarily for unloading. The other side of the driveway at the end of our house is a high wall and, through that, steps leading down to a fairly busy road. But I'm not bothered by that, or by the trains not far away. I hear some drilling somewhere, but otherwise the air con units mask most of the noise.

So, outside there is a little space to throw a soft toy for the dog to run and catch, and there are some places to hide things outside for him to search.

Looking into terrace, last night, oh joy, we think we found the place where we will live! Unlike so many others, the landlord will allow a month-to-month tenancy after the first 12 months, and, although the ad says it won't be ready until 15th September, she says she thinks she can get it ready sooner and possibly by the 1st. She sent us an “Invitation to Apply” through Zillow and I will do that today. There is no additional pet rent and it's 1900 square feet – plenty big enough for our things. It also has an unusual design.

If we can secure, that I can relax. Everything else will be a piece of cake.

21st August

We have signed the lease and started looking into health insurance, food shopping nearby, vet, utilities etc.

I have created an account with a local supermarket and am pleasantly surprised that a food basket is about 20% cheaper than in New York state. The utility figure estimated by the landlady is half the amount I was budgeting for, although the previous tenants might not have spent so much time in the house as we will.

The landlady is very helpful, and we did a video tour of the house yesterday, which was perfectly adequate. She is very kind and even said she would replace a carpet in one of the rooms, but we said there was no need and asked her not to. I am anxious about keeping the place as nicely as we can for her; a new carpet would add to the stress! She is getting the lawns cut and bushes trimmed for us although afterwards they will be our responsibility of course. She has even sent the keys to us by Fedex, so it doesn't matter what time we will arrive. She keeps telling us to let her know if there is anything we need.

This is, thank goodness, a completely different attitude from the one we encountered when we moved into our previous house, which was tied to the job. There, the employer let us in and left us to it. We had to get rid of a nest of about 15 spider crickets and clean and clear some of the house, which wasn't exactly pristine. Some of the windows were slightly open, which I didn't realise for a couple of months until one day I sat on a radiator and felt a terrific draught.

We were forbidden to remove any of the air con units, but we would find ourselves with neck aches because of the draughts coming through - on breezy winter days it felt as though the air con was on low. I tried covering them with tape but eventually we said, 'oh hang this, we're going to take them out.'

At first, the employer tried to pull a fast one by paying H $10k less in salary than he was entitled. They also said they wouldn't pay for the telephone/internet, which is usually standard. Eventually the regional HR people told them to get real.

Looking back, I think most of our problems have stemmed from the fact that the employers were required to accept that, in our case, H was appointed by the regional manager, rather than by them.

The other day I went over on my ankle and renewed an old injury, so H is having to do most of the exercise with the dog. I did chair cardio for an hour this morning and feel better for it in some way that I can't describe.

“Thenk you f'r pressing plaaaay!!!!”

We went back to the old house two days ago when we have to take the dog to the vet for a routine check- up of his almost useless right eye.

The death rate from Covid in Virginia is about a third of the rate in NY state, and many times less than NY City which was vastly more affected than anywhere else in the country. That is somewhat reassuring. The house we are renting has a fenced back garden so it will be possible to take the dog out without having to remember a mask, and it is on a quiet road. The number of cyclists and pedestrians remains to be seen.

Here, the air quality is improving and although the paint smell lingers, I haven't been feeling sick.

27th August

2 days ago, I had to go back to the old dentist. The trip took 1¾ hours and the air con failed after the first half hour. We had the dog with us, but it would have been very hard to turn back. At first, we were in the 'fast' lane of 4 and it was impossible to stop immediately anyway. So, we kept going and wet his head and body periodically throughout the day and he seemed all right. H drove me. I am eternally grateful for that. I think I could have caused an accident if he hadn't. We spent the rest of the day waiting for a prescription which never arrived and eventually the dentist sent it to a chemist in NYC. We didn't get home until 6pm so cooked a meal and them went out again to fetch it.

That was the first day I had been inside a shop in 5 months.

Since then, poor H has spent a lot of time getting the car air con sorted out. Today he went back to a garage to fetch the car and it seems now to be working, but for how long is unknown. We will need it for a 6+ hour trip to VA next week. If we can limp along with it for the next few weeks, we will then have time to decide how we cope with next summer in VA which will be hotter than here

10th September 2020

We have made it!

We are safely installed in Virginia. We have the correct income, health insurance, pension contributions and a typically American home with no doors!

The employers are reasonable and apparently genuine people, unmanipulated, straightforward. The HR department has been helpful, and regional manager kind and personable. Long may this continue. Who knows ...

Our move here was difficult, but worth it. The removal company took 5½ hours to load the same items as it took them 2½ the previous time: there were 2 men rather than 4. Consequently, we didn't leave NY until 6pm and there were delays on the journey. So, we didn't arrive until 2am, having got a kerbside pickup pizza en route. BUT what a welcome awaited us – banners in the garden, wet and bedraggled by the wind, but nevertheless put there out of thoughtfulness and goodwill. Wow. They lifted my heart, as did the large pack of food and household items, even masks, from the landlady.

We couldn't wait to get in to see the house, and our first reaction was “Oh my word”! It wasn't quite as either of us had remembered - much more open-plan – but we still liked it. It reminds me of those American houses you see on reality TV programmes: spacious and open plan.

The first night, we slept on the inflatable mattresses. We weren't sure what time the company would arrive, since the previous night we had received a text quite late saying they would be with us at 7am. I replied that that was too early, and we could be ready at 9. In the event they turned up at about 10.

Since then we have discovered significant damage to some possessions, and loss. An antique table with a leg ripped off. My late grandmother's antique cake stand with a piece missing so that it won't stand up. An alabaster sculpture, brought to us in the UK by my late father from the USA, gone. Boxes destroyed. An air con unit disappeared. I had checked the house in NY, and we have gone through all of this house more than once for the missing items.

The attitude of the company, Molloy Bros (agent for Mayflower) is that we can claim on the insurance policy. Of course, that is absurd as it ignores the emotional side of it. I would like an apology from the boss and an assurance that no-one else will have to undergo this again. I am going to try to speak with him. And put up reviews online to warn others. We have already warned two NY colleagues who are about to move. Of course, I wish I had found another firm, but maybe that would have been even worse. Mayflower is a well-known removal company – like Pickfords in the UK – and so there might simply be no remedy for this type of thing.

But as Husband says, “they are only possessions”. I try to agree with him but can't help feeling that they are more than that; they are memories, childhood, family, bereavement, love, me.

28th September 2020

This morning the pale Virginia sun is climbing through the leaves, still green, in the back garden. The 2- storey windows of our family room are a wall of pattern and colour, changing according to light and weather.

It is quiet here. The road is quiet, the skies are quiet, the neighbours are quiet and the few times I have heard a train have been only when outside, because the house is well sound-proofed. H is not yet up, and dog is asleep.

We are living in a multicultural area, which I like. Our house backs on to the large grassy grounds of a mosque, little used at present, as are other places of worship. Out on the main road which is about ¼ mile away there is a Buddhist meeting place, and a church further along. Our immediate neighbours on one side are a very dark-skinned young family of African origin; on the other, they are of Asian origin. Smiley, unintrusive. The other day a lady in a hijab walked past. People are friendly. They greet us, and wave from their cars.

I hadn't expected how good it would feel to live in a no-through-road, one in which people are passing by to leave or arrive, rather than to get somewhere else. It feels safer than the other places I have lived in this country.

The house is very comfortable and the “central air” has been wonderful.

The one disadvantage is the mosquitos - probably because of the trees - which I hadn't anticipated. On bad days they hover round the dog and just outside the back door. I must get a fly screen for it. But I can cope in the garden by covering up and wearing thin latex food gloves, and waving the bugs away when the dog comes in. H has been walking the dog either in our road or in the various large county parks about 10- or 15-minutes’ drive away.

We have both run the gauntlet of dentist and doctor surgeries. We managed to remain virus-free during our moves, oh joy! This had been a big concern to me, but we have felt it's time to get certain things seen to.

I have an appointment to see another orthopaedic man about my injury. H discovered this week that he will need 3 teeth crowned at a cost to us of $4000. The insurance will cover the rest. It seems excessively expensive to me and I would like to check it.

If it is correct, they will probably let us pay in monthly interest-free instalments. It seems to be accepted by the “not-caring” professions that people can't always pay in one go and quite normal for bills to be settled this way. We will probably still be in debt by the time we leave this country and will be repaying it out of H's US pension. I don't like the idea. I've been very lucky not to have been in significant debt before. I have never had a credit card - it goes right against the grain. But I'd rather save what we can to pay off as much mortgage as we can. The last thing I want to do is bring £££ from the UK into this country. We already pay a lot of tax here, e.g. on the market rental value of tied housing, on moving expenses, either reimbursed by the employer or paid by them direct. Next year H will be entitled to a work pension from his previous UK employment. There will be a lump sum also, tax-free in the UK, but won't be tax-free here.

Experiences of the last two years have helped me to understand just a tad better what life must be like for those who have to worry seriously about money every day, permanently. I've often felt for others less fortunate, wondered how they cope, wished I could make it all better. Some people see need and try to alleviate it locally. My own way of trying to help is usually to campaign on the big things: poverty or climate change, for instance.

NY Street mission pre-Covid

As far as we are concerned, we have faced the prospect of a kind of homelessness at least, twice in fact, and been offered shelter by kind friends. We haven't faced the desperate street life of the invisible, but a threatened life nevertheless, of having nowhere to go except temporary accommodation – lately in the middle of a global plague - with the attendant cost; or the overwhelming alternative of somehow getting all that we are and have home to our families in a matter of a few weeks before health insurance runs out.

The first time was when we lived in a different state and I thought it was an aberration. I thought it was due to a one-off despot of a regional manager who, in a rash of changes to save money, pulled the plug on funding in various areas including ours, giving us 10 weeks to find new livelihood, home, health and pension. But then it happened again in NY state. This situation was exacerbated by Covid, because most regions had halted all staff movements, whereas ours had not and so the job pool was much reduced.

So now I hope for the best but expect the worst. It will be less disappointing. People could turn here, despite all the warmth and welcome, which I do believe are genuine, but I know I could be wrong. After all, why not? Workers' rights are weak in the USA. And anyway, I believe our genome hasn't adapted over the millennia to catch up with the way we live. We are apes, when all is said and done, and stress such as Covid emphasises that.

One aspect of the injustice on this earth is that I have lived a privileged, sheltered life whereas others have not. I haven't deserved it; I have worked hard with what I have been given, but much of my privilege just came my way. We're both from middle-class professional families, have postgraduate qualifications, have only ever been on the fringes of ruthlessness and abuse. Recent events have been outside my experience. I never thought we would find ourselves in such dire situations as we have in this awful country. Friends and colleagues locally say it isn't our fault. Friends and colleagues at home say these things couldn't have happened there, given the organisation for which H works. I don't know any more.

Having talked about the shock of all that, however, it remains to be said that we are still exceptionally fortunate and, I am extremely grateful for all the good things. I am trying to move beyond the anger. Life has settled into a temporary lull, with kerbside grocery pick-ups, waiting in car parks for doctor appointments, coffee and crosswords together at home, the odd car trip for entertainment, H walking dog on quiet county park trails, no in-person socialising, me doing chair cardio at home, efforts to counter evil with online campaigning, especially climate and environment. We hope to be here more than a year but, in about 6 months, we will start looking again for another job, in case that timetable doesn't work out. Maybe it will be in this state; maybe elsewhere. I can't see life anywhere ever returning quite to normal as we knew it and certainly, I don't think much will change in the next year, so Covid might still cause us difficulties in finding something else. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We have each other, which is everything.

Today I have an appointment at the bank about a safety deposit box. We opened one when we arrived and asked them to liaise with the bank in NY regarding closure of the previous one there. NY hasn't been a ble to complete the electronic admin, because Covid 'closed' the branch, although they let me in to remove our things. So, I had to keep the keys. This bank seemed nonplussed, but I gather that today they can resolve the problem.

One further admin chore remaining is to change our driving licences and car plates from NY to VA. We are meant to do this within 30 days of moving here, but it isn't possible to do it online and the earliest available appointment they were offering a few weeks ago was in November. I assume that's because Covid has slowed down many such processes.

I've spent quite a lot of time looking at the locations of various doctors and facilities for various tests. I'll check with the insurers that all of these things will be covered. That includes routine blood tests offered at the doctor's surgery. In our last town, the insurance didn't cover them at the surgery, and we had to go somewhere else. And, having gone for a routine mammogram to a local hospital last time, and later discovered they were not “in-network”, I ended up paying $1000 for it (one of our debts). They had asked to see my insurance card and I had assumed they wouldn't do it unless I was covered. Wrong!

29th September

The tips of some branches in the back garden are beginning to turn mottled red and yellow, despite the fact that last week's cool weather has turned back to too warm and muggy.

But it won't last long now; the earth has to move further away from the sun!

In the next weeks, we fancy taking a trip to one of Virginia's two Dark Sky Parks. Which is a drive away from us.

https://www.darksky.org/our-work/conservation/idsp/parks/james-river-state-park/

Next week we hope to go leaf-peeping. Two years ago, on vacation there, we saw a whole family of black bears. I was beyond excited and it's very hard to squeal quietly. But they will start hibernating soon, so we might miss them unless there is another warm spell.

Cub climbing tree. Watching them from the roadside, H was so envious of a man with a super-duper camera that he bought a super-duper one himself. Since then he has had endless fun composing scenes of urban sprawl, suburban 'civilisation', and real life in the shape of flora and fauna of many kinds. I've enjoyed the results. But his Great Ambition is to get a large, detailed, stunning photo of the face of a black bear.

One day, I think he will succeed.