Corona Diaries

Ted “This is the first time in our marriage that we have had the opportunity to be together with no other demands made on our time. Selfishly, we our thoroughly enjoying this.”

Background Information Male, aged 75-84, Vicar and Retired Teacher, South West Wales, Married to Camille.

March 2020 I live with my wife in Ffynhonnau where Camille was brought up. Ffynhonnau is an ancient borough of some 3,000 residents. We returned to live here in 2002, following professional careers in education, both of us holding senior positions within schools and local authorities. Subsequently, in 2004, I was ordained as a priest in the Church in Wales serving as Non-stipendiary Associate Priest in Ffynhonnau until 2012 when I was appointed Vicar. I retired in June 2015 at the age of seventy. Camille has had heart surgery on three occasions in the last twenty-six years and was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in May 2016. Since lockdown she has been isolating at home. We have established a weekly routine in consideration of the above – Camille chooses the weekly menu and emails the order each Tuesday to our usual health food/grocery store which I collect on a Friday from the door. This was a relief as we were concerned about how we might manage getting food as we didn’t wish to put on others who had offered. This is the first time in our marriage that we have had the opportunity to be together with no other demands made on our time. Selfishly, we our thoroughly enjoying this. Right from the beginning of lockdown we made a conscious decision to use the time productively – spring cleaning a room a week; bringing the garden up to scratch and undertaking a daily walk; we also make sure that every week we telephone those for whom we have concern. Equally, others are keeping in contact with us. Additionally, we are undertaking new challenges. Camille is completing jigsaws whilst I am building a Technic Lego Landrover Defender. Both can prove to be quite frustrating at times! The extracts below are indicative of activities and reflections both prior to and subsequent to my approach to be involved in this project.

7 March: 75th birthday. Spoke with children who are all living away. Youngest, the Principal of a Sixth Form College, had been up for most of the night as she had been called into work. A party of pupils on an educational visit to Spain one of whom had been in contact with someone who had been diagnosed with Covid-19. She had had to liaise with Public Health England and the parents to establish procedures to get student back given the urgency of the situation. 13 March: Since retiring in June 2015 as vicar of Ffynhonnau I have been taking funerals etc. on request and with permission of the new incumbent. However, received today email from the Bishop advising that all clergy over the age of 70 were to have their licenses suspended given the Covid-19 outbreak. Difficult given that I am expected to officiate at three funerals on the week commencing Monday 23 March. 24th and 26th March: Officiated at three funerals in Crematorium. Felt for families as two of these would have, under normal circumstances, have taken place in the Parish Church as they were both well known in the community. Strict guidelines adhered to in that only ten mourners allowed into the Crematorium. Chairs spaced at least two metres apart in an area that would usually seat a 120. Undertook full services though struggled as the mourners looked so lost in the space and could not comfort each other. Similarly, at the conclusion of the Services everyone social distanced. Will need to consider together with others, how we might help/support families come to terms with their loss in these challenging times. 27th March: Assisted current vicar in burial of ashes of deceased from yesterday’s funeral in churchyard. Vicar been unwell for several days and coughing. Anxious to keep distance but not be rude! Am I being unnecessarily cautious?

April 2020 5th April: Palm Sunday and beginning of Holy Week. Usually such a busy time with extra services and little time spent at home, normally. Easy to forget about Easter and its meaning together with events elsewhere as we continue to enjoy the garden and getting on top of jobs which have been waiting a long time to be undertaken. 19th April: ‘Zoomed’ our two daughters in Central and Southeast England for the first time. Spent well over an hour chatting – more than if we had been under the same roof doing our own things! Agreed it was very worth while and hope to do the same again every fortnight.

May 2020 14th May: This should have been the first day of our holiday in Northumberland! Following announcement of lockdown have been able to rebook for end of October. Left wondering if it will happen then.

Joined others locally in clapping for NHS workers etc. at 8.00pm. As residents we made a collection for the four essential workers who live in our crescent of fourteen houses – flowers, chocolates, drinks – and presented these afterwards remembering social distancing. Raises the question of how we might show our appreciation to others who are helping and supporting us whilst putting themselves at risk. In these dark times there are so many good things happening which need to be celebrated. I hope that, when and if things get back to normal, people will remember the support they have had had and will not revert to their former ways. 27th May: Public amenities tip opened yesterday for the first time since lockdown began. Able to make appointment last week for this morning at 11.30am. Very impressed with thought put into procedures etc. at tip. Great relief to have been able to clear garden of rubbish. Ready to begin again, however, have to wait four weeks before being able to make another appointment! 29th May: Undertook usual shopping activities as previously outlined. With lockdown being eased and more places becoming open I am aware that there are more people about and that some are not following guidance about social distancing. Came home feeling quite anxious about this and the longer term implications. 30th May: Should have been at a wedding today in the Parish Church. It must be so hard having planned for this special day and knowing that now they will, like so many others, have to wait for another day

June 2020 Interesting to see how one has adjusted and adapted to life under lockdown over time whilst recognising that things are not going to revert back to the previous ‘normal’ in the near future or, if at all, in the longer term. New patterns of behaviour are emerging and these have been evident in our individual practices and as a family over recent weeks as illustrated in the observations below:

1. We are making a greater use of modern technology through the use of the internet (Zoom,

WhatsApp and Microsoft Team) – talking to family members and their partners across the UK at an

agreed time every other week; in our voluntary work with Parkinson’s UK, with Health Care and

Research Wales (SUPER) and through an involvement with Institutes of Higher Education and their

research projects – making more efficient use of time by cutting down on travel to London etc.

2. Purchasing an Amazon Firestick (25 May) enabling, amongst other things, greater choice in

watching television and listening to music. Additionally, we have bought another Echo Dot - on the

suggestion of our youngest daughter – which means we can talk to each other without shouting

when one of us is in the lounge and the other in the kitchen.

3. In consideration of ‘2’ above we are now turning to Amazon for the making of some purchases, for

example, a spool for our garden strimmer. We now appreciate why our youngsters shop online!

They find it quite humorous that we are, at last, coming into the 21st Century!

4. We are increasingly relying on our mobile telephones and iPads to keep in touch and up to date

with family, friends and world events. Even our eldest daughter, who previously appeared

uninterested and oblivious to world events takes an interest in what is happening around her.

5. Connectivity with others has become important and especially with the elderly and those who live

alone. We regularly speak with some who fall into these categories sharing jokes and video clips to

keep their and our own spirits up, as well as with our neighbours who were previously the people

who lived next door but you never saw.

6. Additionally, we are conscious of others who continue to receive treatment for non-related Covid 19

illnesses who have been in and out of hospital in recent weeks, of their families who cannot visit

them and particularly of the continued dedication of NHS staff who are facing extreme challenges at

this time and are having to make their own personal sacrifices. Other clinics continue to operate

though Camille, my wife, had to visit another hospital where she had not been previously – this

naturally raised her level of apprehension together with the fact that I had to remain in the car.

7. Throughout the pandemic care homes have received major criticism for their apparent lack of care

and preparedness. From our own experience, living next door to a care home and speaking with the

staff, they have made every attempt to put those they care for first. Testing undertaken by the army

showed that there were no cases and this continues to be the case.

8. There are others who face differing challenges as the lockdown is being eased in different ways and

speeds across the UK. The Country Park and The Quay here in Ffynhonnau are again accessible

and we can use the car to get to these spots for our daily walks if we wish. Appointments for the

Public Amenities Refuse Tip can now be made weekly as against monthly – I’ve been three times to

date! The dentist has been in touch about our making an appointment for a check-up in late

September. No-essential shops are beginning to open. There are some children in the school down

the lane though our twin grandchildren have not returned to school in Yorkshire because one suffers

with asthma.

9. Reflecting on ‘8’ above and the return of pupils to educational establishments. Our youngest

daughter, Polly, is Principal of a Sixth Form College in England. Throughout the lockdown she and

her colleagues – approaching 200 fulltime staff -- worked from home again making full use of

modern technology. Once the announcement was made for schools/colleges to re-open in England

the focus, as in other settings, was on putting in place safe procedures recognising the importance

of safe-distancing. However, all of this preparatory work was dependant on the safe transportation

of students by bus to the college site. It was decided that the only safe way to proceed was to give

students individual appointments to attend for one-to-one tutorials with staff. Also, as the new cohort

could not have their induction days, a module was prepared for them and their parents which was

shared on the College website.

10. On a more personal level we have continued to enjoy the garden always finding something to do.

Of particular note we have spent time watching the birds on our feeders and especially the young

being fed by their parents; enjoying the fruits of our labours eating lettuce, cucumbers, courgettes,

chard, spinach, strawberries and currants; tending other vegetables such as leeks, runner beans,

tomatoes and greens in anticipation of the forthcoming harvest; picking sweet peas for the house.

The whole experience has been therapeutic and has such a positive effect on our mental health.

Whilst enjoying this privilege our thoughts, as ever, are with those who are less fortunate than

ourselves.

11. One last observation. I have finished my Technical Lego model of over two and a half thousand

pieces! A real sense of achievement! Next project a wooden model replica of a First World War

plane! Camille is struggling with her 1,000 piece circular jigsaw – her second!

July 2020 Another month has passed with the days merging one into another – there is no need to wear a watch anymore! As time passes it is hard to believe that we have been on this journey since the middle of March and still there seems no end in sight. Living in South-West Wales has meant that we have remained relatively isolated from other parts of the UK and each other as the easing of lockdown measures has been more cautious in the principality. However, now with the school holidays and non-essential shops, holiday and recreational venues being allowed to open there has been an upsurge in the numbers of people and cars. This has been increasingly evident as we have The Country Park on our doorstep – beautiful beaches and walks through the trees and over the dunes, riding stables, artificial ski slope and two touring caravan sites. I am still in the same shopping routine each Friday – collect a shopping pre-order and stopping at the Co- op on my way home. I top up the diesel in the car once a month as I continue to cover about twenty miles a week compared to the previous one thousand a month. Interestingly, I have only been into the bank once since March and that was last week. Having previously baulked at the idea of living in a cashless society, as youngsters tend to do and as some Scandinavian countries appear to be moving towards, I have become quite accepting of it. This in part, is because of the ease with which one can order online from the likes of Amazon!

Like so many I am left wondering what the effect of online shopping will be for our High Streets in the longer term and, in a different way, for our local shops where many of us have tended to gravitate and upon whom we have relied to meet our daily needs in recent months. Despite attempts by government to ease lockdown restrictions and reassure the populace the message appears to be that we will need to continue to be cautious as a second wave is anticipated. There continues to be mixed messages, not least, for example, about the wearing of face masks and their effectiveness. On my trip out each Friday it is apparent that many are reluctant, for whatever reason, to wear one likewise they have no sense of the meaning of social distancing. It makes me increasingly nervous. Neither of us have a desire to ‘go to the shops’ which we may well have done pre-lockdown. Given the increasing uncertainty together with local lockdowns we have decided to cancel our holiday to Northumberland in October, having previously postponed it from May. We are particularly disappointed to have taken this decision as it means we won’t now be able to see and spend time with our twin grandchildren aged six. A major change in my appearance has taken place in the last two weeks. I have been debating for some time whether to shave my beard off or not. A holiday whim some four years ago has become a permanent fixture. My wife, Camille, would not be drawn on the subject saying ‘it had to be my decision.’ Conscious, like so many, that the face mask could be lowered under my chin, when not in use, I began to reflect on the number of germs that I might be harbouring in my beard and transferring to my nose and mouth when replacing it! The result is a younger (sic) and clean shaven me! Other signs of normality returning have been contact from our dentist to arrange an appointment fo r a check-up, a trip arranged for a haircut and our local church being open for an hour each Sunday morning for private prayer with the prospect of services from the beginning of September. Regular meetings with colleagues in Parkinson’s UK and Health Care Wales have continued by ‘Zoom’ with an additional involvement with researchers at the University of East Anglia being undertaken via ‘Microsoft Team.’ Pre-lockdown I had never heard of either program and can’t help but wonder how they have now become part of everyone’s daily life and the inferences for patterns of working in the future. ‘What’s app’ continues to keep us in contact with family and friends. The regular exchange of texts and pictures is welcome as was the news of a cousin’s engagement to his partner. Joshua has not had the happiest of times with relationships in the past but was ‘over the moon’ when Ida proposed. Another positive effect of lockdown has been our daily walk. Not only are we walking for longer but are able increasingly to choose from a variety of routes which are on our doorstep. This, together with the twice weekly video exercise programme that Camille has been undertaking for her Parkinson’s, has had a positive effect on her overall well-being. In conclusion, we feel very guilty as the impact of Covid 19 has meant that we have been able to slow down and enjoy our home and garden more. Unlike others we have not had to worry, for example, about jobs and

changing working patterns; when children might be going back to school; looking after elderly or sick relatives and where the next meal might come from. We have so much to be grateful for.

September 2020 Life has continued, as in recent months, with similar routines though the outlook of returning to the previous way of life pre-lockdown is now far from promising with rising numbers of infections and hospitalisations. Observations:

• Continuing to Zoom with family members and undertake meetings which would have meant

travelling, for example, to Cardiff or London. Can’t help but feel that this will be the model for the

future.

• Twin grandchildren aged 6 back in school and youngest daughter having responsibility for 4,500

students and associated staff in her role as principal of a sixth college.

• As the number of church services and funerals to be taken have increased so there has been an

intrusion on our time together which has not been experienced during lockdown.

• Established monthly visits to have haircuts – twice now. Washing hair at home prior to cutting rather

than having it washed in salon.

• Relying on local shops for weekly food shopping – retailers expressing thanks for continued custom

in what is proving to be such a challenging time for them.

• Visited M&S at the end of the August for the first time since the beginning of March. Note that you

can now book a slot to avoid queuing when visiting the food hall. Additionally, a number of vouchers

being sent to encourage shoppers to return.

• Continued reliance on Amazon and other on-line retailers for birthday and Christmas presents.

• Limited use of car – approx. 30 miles a week to get to shops and to local quay and country park

where we walk.

• Camille has increased her daily walking from 3,000 to 5,000 steps per day reaching 6,000 some

days. Have decided to purchase an exercise bike as there appear to be many benefits and

especially for Parkinson’s sufferers.

• Council have now reintroduced parking charges since the beginning of September.

• Enjoying the produce from our vegetable garden and being able to share this with friends and

neighbours.

• Continue to be more aware of nature – a red kite was circling low over the house and there have

been birds on the feeders. A joy to watch the young being fed.

• Concerned that Camille has yet to see her Parkinson’s consultant – last saw her a year ago.

Assume this is a sign of the pressure that NHS is under. Feel especially for those who are having

crucial treatment delayed.

• Dark by 8.00pm now and the clocks have yet to go back. How are we going to feel over the winter

months when we will be unable to be out in the garden or on walks as much? Raises concerns for

the mental health of all and especially if lockdown measures remain in place or are made more

stringent.